Holonet

[Florndin Skarster]

New Branch of the Last Call!

Now introducing the new Mos Eisley Last Call!

Hop on down to the wretched hive of scum and villainy and get yourself some drinks! All proceeds go to rebuilding Coruscant. So if you're man enough come on down to MELC and get yourself some Bantha Melk.

[Guest]

((OCC: the word mor0n is filtered. If you read this and you're responsible, I just want you to know that I hate you. Honestly. Who puts a filter on the word mor0n?))

 

*Several Venom troops hide in trees around a Rebel base. Their armor is wreathed in foliage. They watch the crappily dressed Rebels as they dance around in circles, fall asleep, play grab-ass along with other things that Rebels are widely known for doing.*

 

"Your mission: To observe enemy movement."

 

*A rebel on the firing range is panic stricken when he finds his rifle doesn't work. He looks down the barrel while pulling the trigger, looking for the problem...*

 

"You've slept 2 hours in the last 72."

 

*Several fat a lazy rebels eat big cuts of beef through the window...*

 

"You drink your own urine for hydration."

 

*A bunch of rebels whiz by in the scope of a rifle, riding on top of an overfilled speeder...*

 

"Your gun barrel has teeth marks in it."

 

*A Jedi in the courtyard swings his lightsaber around like a m0ron, chopping off his own leg in the process...*

 

"Repeated ingestion of coal has, once, yielded the sh*tting a diamond."

 

*Several Rebels sit around making dirt angels until a Nexu appears to maul one.*

 

"Are you up to the challenge?"

 

*Cut to a venom troop with his helmet off, revealing a handsome face and chiseled jaw. He chews on grass angrily.*

 

"Join the greatest army ever in creation and help to overpower the Republican armies of tyranny. Enlist as a Stormtrooper in the Galactic Empire."

[Jidai Geki]

CALLING ALL BOUNTY HUNTERS!

 

*An image of Geki appears with a synth-skin mask over his face, masking his true, scarred visage and making him seem somewhat unnatural. The mask is pale and vaguely humanoid.

 

Geki burlesques a sad, mournful face.*

 

'Hello, friends and neighbours. My name is Janus, and we have a very special job for you.'

 

*Geki walks along and the camera pans to follow. He puts one leg up on a chair and rests on his knee.*

 

'Tired, lacklustre bounties got you down? Looking to put some "oomph" back in the thrill of the hunt? Then look no further, folks!'

 

*Geki lifts a small wand and depresses a button on it. Several cartoonish images of happy bounty hunters murdering people appear in the background.*

 

'We have just the thing to put the bounce back in your stride, ladies and gentle-sentients. Here on Dathomir, in our state of the art facility, we will give your lives new meaning as you are invited to partake in the greatest hunt the galaxy has ever seen. You will receive excellent payment for your merchandise, as well as the opportunity to make a name for yourself. We'll even throw in dental and a competitive holiday package!'

 

*Geki shifts, spreads his arms wide, and grins.*

 

'So, come on down, and we'll put the thrill back in your kill!'

 

Janus accept no liability from injuries incurred during any hunt or hunts undertaken by participants of the Great Hunt. Janus will refund no travel expenses incurred in the process of interviewing applicants. No Banthas were harmed during the making of this advertisement.

[Sabian]

LOCAL JEDI ARRESTED FOR DUI LAST THURSDAY

 

When questioned, the Jedi didn't have anything to say other then he was only under direct influence of the Force. Police later found it was mixture of both the Force and a lethal dosage of PCP.

 

While no one was hurt during the event, other local Jedi have been questioned on where the PCP might have came from. Jedi Master and reigning holder of the title Shortest-Jedi-Ever, Master Yoda, stood for the local Jedi in his defense, stating, "The Force flows from within in you, and up your nose, sometimes."

 

While critics are unsure what Master Yoda meant by the comment, there was evidence that he, too, was under the influence of cocaine during his statement. Both Jedi have been charged with possession, until the Judge stated "Dropped are all the charges" then ended the case.

 

Press has leaked that there might have been some foul Force play in the court room but, both Jedi are denying the accusations.

 

-- Thadeous T. Garfunkle, ESPN.

[Jastah]

Kashyyyk- [NEUTERS]-

 

Migratory Lumberjacks Inc. reported that upon returning to Kashyyyk for a routine tree harvest, that the land had been devastated. The Spokesman of MLI had the following to say.

 

" Wellsa, we arrived wid bout 130 peoples on 5 haulahs. Wellsa, we landed at our usual port, and we found everyone dead, and half the planet was on fire. My men zin I, we tried to get them thar fires out. And we gots alot of them done, but we finally got the Glactic Firefighter ships to sist us. Woo, we done lost a good harvest."

 

It is estimated that the MLI lost nearly 666,000,000 credits in the fire. But that loss is minor compared to the devastation to the planet. 45% of the surface area of the planet was turned to ashes. another 21% was severly damaged by the flames. It is still very unclear as to what started the fire. Some theorists have hypothesized that the native Wookiees may have been doing a Ar-Pharazonist ritual. Other theories include a civil war, solar flares, or a malfunction of a homemade hookah. Scientists are still trying to find evidence of the truth.

 

More information to come as it is discovered.

[Dashel Illioni]

<>

An neat and clean young man appears on the holonet. Behind him is the damaged Jedi temple, where workers are making an attempt to repair the damage caused to the structure.

 

"Your seeing behind the work being done to repair the damage wrought to the Jedi temple by an attack carried out by what some sources claim to be members of the Sith Order. According to official sources, a transport arrived earlier this week carrying the bodies of several Jedi slain in recent action against the Sith. One or more of the bodies were obviously rigged with explosives that Jedi security obviously failed to detect. Other sources indicate the trapped bodies were the cover for something more sinister."

 

The image cuts to the beautiful but vapid host whose primary attributes are youth, blond hair and a large cleavage.

 

"Ken," she says huskily, "Has their been any word from the Jedi Master concerning this attack or any evidence of a response to it? The Jedi claim to be able to respond to any crisis, seeing as this one is on their doorstep, what have we seen and what can we expect?"

 

Ken blinks, obviously waiting for her voice to finish before responding. "Well, Jill, security has obviously been increased, as you can see by the increased patrols being conducted by Alliance military personel. Notice a discreet lack of Jedi among them or even pulling a visible guard shift."

 

Jill waited a moment, then responded, "Ken, viewers of this network have been following reports of the battle of Artus, which it looks like the Empire is winning back from occupying forces. Wouldn't the troops now guarding the Jedi temple, even the Jedi themselves be better fighting at Vjun?"

 

"Jill, obviously the Alliance and the Jedi have their own concerns and views of the many situations occuring through our galaxy, Perhaps they are stretched to thin in too many areas, an indication perhaps that superior military might and minds of the Empire are slowly winning the war.

 

"Ken Marich, signing off. Back to you Jill."

 

Jill finished the newscast, entertaining many a male viewer with attributes to the disgust of a greater number of female ones.

[Savior_of_the_Sith]

On screens around the galaxy, the standard-bearer for Cable Political Commentary, Space One, came on...

 

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, humanoids and androids alike. This is Sir Triskelon signing in atop one of the tallest buildings on Coruscant for this week's edition of..."

 

A flashy visual came on, exhibiting the traditional show emblem.

 

"... Hardfire with Adsel Triskelon."

 

The usual music blarred in the background.

 

"Today, I have two guests, each having opposing views regarding the current issue of media bias around the galaxy. Madame Oovaldi, welcome."

 

"Good day, Adsel." Oovaldi responded.

 

"Oovaldi is here from the Kashyyk institute of Stellar informatics. And in the opposite side of the ring, we have with us today Art Vayul, Chief Editor of Space One's news conglomerate."

 

Adsel Triskelon gave a wry grin as Art Vayul responded. "Especially good to have you here, today, boss. Hehe..." Adsel's sarcastic laugh was meant to poke fun at the fact that Art was in fact, his boss.

 

"Now Madame Oovaldi, let's start with you. Having travelled the stars for many years investigating the status of reporting and information deployment, you are under the influence that the large majority of those working in said industries are biased toward the Empire?"

 

"That is correct," Oovaldi chimed in quickly. "My findings indicate beyond a doubt that on the levels that count, the local reporters and planetary managers of corporate news are slanted toward the Emperial forces, as well as those of the Sith."

 

"Why is that so?"

 

"Well, it's simple really. By far the large majority of censient beings in this galaxy prefer the smooth rule of the Empire over the intolerant, unruly, what they see as equally dictatorial imposition of the Alliance."

 

Art Vayul could be seen shaking his head, and Adsel the moderator moved in...

 

"Mr. Vayul, what say you?"

 

"Sir Triskelon, this is absurd. True, there is a great discrepancy regarding the flow of information past the Interplanetary level. This fact is due not to a local preference in the Empire, but the harassment and threats that the Emperial leaders make toward such distributers."

 

Adsel Triskelon quelled a quick outburst from Oovaldi. "Wait your turn, Madame..."

 

"Lets get to the point, Art."

 

"The truth is, they are the very tactics used by the Empire that produce this outcome. It is not the facts that Madame Oovaldi and I disagree about, merely the interpretation of them. If the media department over there on Kashyyk would actually do their homework, I'm sure they'd come up with the same conlusion I have; the Local news authorities aren't biased toward the empire, they simply often have no choice but to give in to threats of terrorism and violence agaist their respective populations."

 

Oovaldi came back on... "That's easy for you to say, Sir, when you are based on the prized core planet under the umbrella of both the Alliance forces and the Jedi. Go to Tatooine, go to Hoth... take a trip outiside your system for once, and then proclaim that."

 

"Will do, Madame." Art replied hastily.

 

"Madame Oovaldi... Art Vayul... thanks for coming on today, I realise you are both very busy." Adsel looked back to the audience... "Regardless of how you feel about the currect forces at war around us, I feel you'd agree that, at least in theory, all news sources should be unbiased and free of... any misgivings, on either side of the table. Thank you for tuning in today. Signing out for Hardfire via Space One, this is Sir Triskelon."

 

The ending credits, filing past at the speed of light, signaled the end of the show.

[Dashel Illioni]

Jill, whose recent flashing of attributes resulted in the firing of the stations costume director, is on again. This time she shows significantly less skin, but the outfit is of a very sheer design. It actually reveals more than it conceals despite having the lines of a proper suit.

 

The news broadcast goes through the usual mindless dribble. It is at the end that breaking news interupts the station manangers equal mindless editorial. It is everyone's favorite reporter Ken. This time he is dressed in a business suit who's cut empasizes his chiseled physique without revealing a single inch of skin. More than a few male spouses grunt with annoyal at the sight as their wives drool and fuss over him.

 

Jill, breathless at the sight of him said, "and now we take you live to our field reporter Ken Marich inside the Kuat drive yards for a first hand look at imperial efficiency at work."

 

Ken's face fills the screen as the camera slowly pulls back from a view of the massive imperial shipyards at Kuat. "Good Afternoon Jill. We here at the Galactic Free Press and News Corp. thought our viewers would like a first hand glimpse of the security and prosperity the empire brings to the sytems it toues. With me I have Commander Kordigan, the media liason for the directior of the Kuat drive yards."

 

He pauses for a moment before continuing. "Commander Kordigan, how would you rate secuity procedures here versus the procedures in place at the Jedi Temple or even the procedures in place at the Mon Calamari shipyards, both places which obviously have ties to the Alliance."

 

As Commander Kordigan speaks, it is immediately obvious why he is the media liason for the drive yards. His language is not the usual clipped navalese. Instead it is a warm voice that invites you to trust the information it is about to present. Instead of the imperial reception hall where it is taken place, many people feel it is one they would be comfortable next to a fireplace with. "Ken, as your viewers can see, the Imperial shipyards at Kuat could not be more secure. Our defenses, against both terrorists such as Open Skye and an Alliance assault are staffed by superior ships and crews. This security means prosperity for all whom decide to embrace it." The man's open demeanor proclaimed his passionate belief in the statement. He continued before Ken could interupt. "As a matter of fact, Ken, I thought I would share a bit of information with you concerning the recent attacks at the Jedi Temple. There were two seperate attacks that occured. The first was perpetrated by a rogue jedi whose name the Jedi will probably claim is actually a Sith which everyone knows is the Jedi's convinient excuse for their brutal use of force. The second was an attack by a group of Jawas, a group of people downtrodden almost universally by the people of both the alliance and the Jedi. More importantly, their attack was as a result of their anger at the Jedi for not protecting them from persecution despite pleas to that group for help over several centuries."

 

Ken's clean shaven and exotically beautiful face appeared on screen again. "Commander, you make an excellant point concerning the Jedi and their so called guarantees of freedom. Another question if may, "What is the imperial reaction to the accusations made on Space Once concerning the allegations of Imperial threats to the lives and families of the reporters?"

 

Commander Kordigan's face darkens. "Ken, that Space One would air such allegations at all is troubling to me. Imperial forces have specific orders not to harass legitimate public news organizations. People, both aliens and human alike, have to have viable and timely information availabe to make informed decisions in order to be better and more productive citizens and so they can make good choices for their families and loved ones."

 

As Ken begins to ask another question, a comm link goes off at Commander Kordigan's side. "Excuse me Ken, but I need to take this call. I will gladly continue this interview at another time."

 

Ken nods, and then turns to the camera one last time. "This is Ken Marich, signing off from the Kuat Drive yards."

[Dashel Illioni]

Jill is gone, obviously the target of a grass roots organization to remove her from the anchors chair. Popular rumor has it correct that she was kidnapped while exitting her former place of employment by a masked assailant driving a heavily armed custom assault vehicle the same day.

In her place is a young and pretty women with black hair, but one instead whom has the mentality to match her looks.

 

She is reading through some heartwarming material when she stops briefly, looks up at the cameron and says, "We now take you to Artus, where it appears that the planet has fallen to Imperial forces. Here is our field reporter Ken Marich."

 

Ken's well coifed image appears beside her. He introduces himself and then points in the distance through the observation ports of his personal ship. "Debra, before me you can see the Imperial Battle Fleet, unmatched by any the Alliance could field for the defense of Artus. Its rumored that the Emperor himself has come to Artus to welcome a new age of peace and prosperity to its inhabitants, free of Alliance sponsored atrocities. Speaking of which, we recieved this archival footage captured from the Alliance base of a funeral pyre involving the bodies of hundreds if not thousands of Imperial troopers and Artusians.

 

The video plays with the two news reporters, the other anchor, and the various cameran and technicians watching. Debra herself is affected, turning briefly away while her facial coloring fades under the makeup she is obviously wearing. When it is finished, Ken speakes briefly before one again signing off.

[Dashel Illioni]

Plastered across every tri-D and holonet system in the galaxy:

 

Kakuto Ryu, The emperor and the Head of the Serpent order stand beside a large bell, several hundred meters in diameter. It is made of musicum, the best element in the world for creating musical harmony of perfect pitch. The camera zooms in to characters on this bell, they spell Jedi Order in Basic and other languages. The three gentlemen are then seen slowly tolling the bell. The screen fades to black, but the lone, sorrowful pitch rolls outward for several seconds.

[John Skywalker]

*A fish-eye view of Dark Lord Ryu's throneroom opens to note four persons, the Dark Lord, an overzealous Blademaster, and two bodacious babes; Darla and Alora, both scantily clad.*

 

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen for a night of championship pwnage! I'm John Skywalker and this is my co-host Bad Karma. Using our ingeniously wired spy camera we bring to you a fight for the ages, or at least for tonight given the other garbage you could be watching on the Holonet.

 

In this corner, you see the one and only champion of the Sith, his Dark Holiness, Kakuto Ryu and in the other... is that, er, other guy. What's his name?

 

Anyway, on to the fight...

 

Alora was trying her best to seduce the Dark Lord once again when the door of the room collapsed into his quarters. Alora and Kakuto would not have time to react, as with the simple wave of a hand, Alora was thrown to the other side of the room, hitting the wall hard, with little to protect her from the impact as she was dressed with very little clothing.

 

He walked into the room so that he could speak normally. "Kakuto Ryu, Dark Lord of the Sith. I have heard of what you did on Borleais... and I am here to avenge the death of a Jedi you killed there." He looked over to Alora, "I hope I'm not interupting anything."

 

Damn, what a prick... gotta interrupt a guy when he's getting a piece of... oh, right, we're on the air.

[Bad karma]

”œYou know, you really should just let loose and not be such”¦how to put this, bich all the time.”

[John Skywalker]

"You know, you're absolutely right..." As he unclipped his liquor flask, "Nothing says Fight Commentator more than a sweet, sweet flask of Correllian Whiskey, Kheldar Correlli Black Label. Where are we? Oh right..."

 

Bruising forming on her arm where it had taken the impact to the wall, Alora spun round, relishing in the pain and glaring at the blademaster. She was furious but stood back, letting the Dark Lord handle the situation. She did produce more of the pheromones to help destract the newcomer, knowing that it would indeed effect him regardless of his other 'powers'. She called the dagger to her that the dark lord had sent into the floor so that at least she had some sort of a weapon on her, her's being back in her rooms. She moved to Darla's side, still glaring at the blademaster, her eyes almost shooting daggers as she fed on the anger and darkness within the room.

 

"Now this is definitely one of the best feature we got installed, check that out in the corner ladies and gentleman, it's my patented pheromone meter. I made it when I got engaged, my wife had some deal about not making our relationship to be just physical... so I had to find ways when she'd be willing to help me find a little pleasure."

 

*The empty bar begins to elevate, much like a mercury thermometer. The words No Sex, Low, Get Ready, You Ready Yet?, and finally OH GOD YES! start to flash across the screen.*

 

"If the intrepid dou-, kids watching dammit, doesn't get his head together... well... he may have an unrecognized launch in his pants. I dunno about you, but it's kinda hard to fight when the love train is getting set to go..."

[Bad karma]

”œMr. Xen-Que is a bit sure overly sure of himself, after all I am sure those two hot chicks could get him to really dive into the dark side a bit.”

[John Skywalker]

"Indeed, that must make it so humiliating... he may claim superiority, but when it comes right down to it. There's no way to keep up the fight if something else seems really inclined to keep itself up."

 

Taking a swig of his whiskey, John's eyes turned back to the screen, "Ladies and gentlemen, the Force gave us men two major bodily organs and they both run on blood... now I dunno about you, but I've only got enough blood to run one at a time. Face it, I need the oxygen, if Xen-Que over here is anything like the rest of us anatomically correct males, which given his general predicament, we must assume he is... I'd say he's heading up a creek and there's no release in sight."

 

Tapping his free-hand on the table, "Your thoughts Karmy? But remember to give way to our sponsors..."

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

In a large studio, stands both Karmy and Admiral Phillep with boxes of M&Ms and Skittles in their hands, respectively, surrounded by many school-age children.

 

"Hello children, would you really like to taste the rainbow? Have an Ectasy Skittle!"

 

A young boy, approaches Phillep, and takes a green skittle with the random symbol "X" on it and puts it in his mouth with a great big smile.

 

"Now go ahead and dance the night away with your friends, you'll have a surge of energy and tons of euphoria for several hours! How about you all watching at home?"

 

Possible side effects include:

* Pupil dilation with attendant photosensitivity and color perception

* Jaw clenching or bruxism ("gurning" or "grinding")

* Juddery vision (nystagmus)

* General restlessness

* Loss of appetite/taste sensation

* Lack of focus / concentration

* Tingling

* Sweaty palms

[Dashel Illioni]

During a comercial break, an All Media Allert is played by several stations. In it, the controversial and extremely attractive Ken Marich is standing at a streetcorner. He begins speaking after a moment of silence.

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am standing alongside what everyone in the galaxy always seems to want, a quiet street with green grass, trees and a little blue sky. This family had that dream, only for them and several others on the block, it quickly turned to a nightmare."

 

"Charles and Marie Evans started their day off as normal, pack the kids off to school and take the mono to their jobs in the city. That was the last time that either could remember their day being normal. It seems Charles and Marie both recieved phone calls from anonymous callers telling them their children had been selected for service at the Jedi temple. When they came home, they discovered an empty house with the doors slashed open by what investigators have positively identified as lightsaber damage. Their children are gone, with a note their only connection to their precious and now missing children. We are told it said simply that their failure to comply with Jedi testing protocols had resulted in the children being taken by the Jedi temple as payment for mandatory services not rendered by the Evans."

 

"The Evans family has asked us to pass on this message, should you see their children (photos flash on screen) please contact this station or local authorities to help the Evans find their children. They can't offer much of a reward outside of a simple thanks due to emergency war taxes that the alliance uses to oppress it citizens, but they are asking for the kindness of the common people through the galaxy."

 

"On that note, we will return you to your scheduled broadcast. This is Ken Marich, signing off."

[Savior_of_the_Sith]

Flashing on Holonet screens across the galaxy, the Newshour with Rod Dor came on, signaling a new day in Coruscant time.

 

"Good day, I'm Rod Dor, and welcome to the Newshour." A similar sentence came flashing across the screen in five other basic galactic languages.

 

"Today, talks began again on Corellia regarding the workers strike there. Workers of ISTS, the third largest distributor of mechanized equipment in the galaxy, agreed to come back to work. News of the decision reached our reporter's ears earlier today."

 

A woman appears, with a heavily industrialized sector of a Corellian city in the background.

 

"Yes, Rod. Earlier today the strike was swiftly combated in the most peaceful of ways. Dr. Nepharius Fontaine, owner of Integrated Systems and Technology Solutions based here on Corellia, gave way to the workers on ALL points which originally caused the strike late yesterday. Included in the workers complaints were higher pay, a desire for more security at sensitive military production cites, and better stock flexibility. The workers here today have certainly scored a victory. Rod?"

 

Rod Dor's voice came back on the air...

 

"Thanks El-Are. Why has Dr. Fontaine responded so quickly and with such sensitivity to the worker's demands?"

 

"Well, Rod, Nepharius Fontaine is notorious for his desire to stay out of the public eye. He is very reclusive, prefering to run his commercial science and technology conglomerate in the seclusion of his offices on Corellia and Coruscant. In fact, only two reporters have even ever been able to have a live interview with him, a recently deceased man from CCS Broadcasting, and Ken Marich, a reporter affiliated with the All Media Holonet Corporation. The truth is, we don't know much about Nepharius Fontaine, only that he prefers to have as little attention on him as possible. And for a man in such a powerful position, such a trait is very unusual."

 

Dor's voice and image came on once more, signaling the end of the program.

 

"El-Are, many thanks, and we'll see you soon."

[Dashel Illioni]

A newsflash interupts the daily programming of All Media Holonet Corp. channels on the holonet.

 

All channels promptly cut to a newsdesk and a casually dressed newsanchor whom is not part of the regular team. The individuals looks up moments after the camera starts rolling, obviously memorizing the papers in front of him, as if there is too little time to enter them into the teleprompter.

 

Greetings, fellow sentients, and pardon the interuption of your daily programming. We have the following unfortunate news to report to you. Even as the reclusive Nepharius Fontaine was agreeing to demands by his workers, those same workers were losing their families to Jedi attrocities. I have here with me Seargent DeUnger of Corsec (who enters from offscreen). She is the corsec spokeswomen for the metropolis where so many of these worker's families were murdered.

 

"Seargent," says the newsanchor, "can you tell me whom is among the dead and what happened.

"You know its our policy to only release the names of the dead once all family members are notified. As for how they died lets say that whomever murdered these people had to have the force as an ally. Several had asphyxiated without any markings on the persons while witness at other scenes indicate that the individual seemed to come out of nowhere and moved at incredible speeds and performed acts that were out of the realm of possibility for all but Jedi."

 

The cop pauses for a moment, then continues. "Another indicator of Jedi involvement is the very detached way in which the killer murdered his victims. He was relentless, very discreet for most of them, and utterly unfazed by the amounts some witness tried to bribe him with. Also, none of the witness whom did survive seem to be able to remember what the murder looked like despite having seen him up close. i belive the jedi would file that one under "Mind Trick"".

 

"Thank you Officer DeUnger."

 

The hosts pauses for a moment as if reacting to something off camera. He turns back to the camera, pastes a smile and begins speaking again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this network just made a huge scoop. Our Ken Marich has made contact with the Jedi whom massacred these unfortunate people. Let me asure you, our viewers, that if we could we would have Ken give up the scoundrel to the local security forces we would, but the foul Jedi has kidnapped our reporter and hijacked a feed from a remote location that seems to be untraceable at the moment."

 

"Ken, can you hear me?"

 

"Yes I can," said Ken, "fairly clearly despite the illegal-jack in of my host."

In the backround there is a guite humming, identical to that of an activated lightsaber. The voice that follows is cold and toneless with a faint sibilance. "Listen, oppressed citizens of the Republic. I am the Jedi Knight Tanimus Sulstrum and I have taken your news reporter hostage to explain why the families of so many innocents were murdered before I join the Imperial Order to help combat the very leaders that ordered such a slaughter."

 

"You see, it was ordered by your Chief of State Kirana Sunrider through the offices of her secretary Onderin Starlisk. It was an open secret among Jedi that the two are lovers, and that he holds her in thrall and is the actual power broker for those in the know. And the chairman of ISTS is very much in the know, as he is supplying arms to what I can clearly see are the terrorists claiming to be the Alliance and its allies."

 

The disembodied voice goes on, "You should also be aware that many of the children missing from the families of the labor leaders are being secretly held at the Jedi temple for anatomical alterations.

 

For the first time, Ken spoke. "What do you mean by anatomical alterations Jedi Sultstrum?"

 

Sultrum spoke, his voice full of sympathy. "When the Jedi are done, your beloved children will be little more than sub-humans whose every whim is the service of the perverse masters, mindless drones in constant physical agony for the pleasure of the masters, or pleasuring their master per the whim of the Jedi involved. I cannot and will not be a part of that. I am sorry Ken, but I have information for the Empire that will greatly aid them in bringing the Jedi down. You will be returned safely to your station Ken. I am sorry for how I had to bring you here."

 

The image blacks out leaving a rather stunned anchor sitting in front of the screen.

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I assure you we will work diligently on this story"

[Savior_of_the_Sith]

Rod Dor came on the air, offering a special report.

 

"Good day, I'm Rod Dor and this is..." A fanciful trumpet fanfare ignited...

"... a special report."

 

"We go now to our correspondent on Corellia, El-Are. El-Are, what can you tell us at this point?"

 

"Well Rod, things have taken a turn for the worse here at the industrial complex of ISTS Corellia, as Imperial terrorists have claimed responsibility for the deadly mutilations of workers here. Late yesterday, a man clad in black entered the worker's break room in section 35, and kidnapped 4 upper-echelon employees of Nepharius Fontaine. This all happened on the eve of a peaceful cooperation on the part of Dr. Fontaine, and in a fit of irony, Fontaine himself has shut down all operations in his plants until the situation is under control. A sense of panic is here among the workers, and Dr. Fontaine himself has placed himself under heavy guard; he fears that terrorists sympathetic to the Empire have taken aim at his business practices, in particular his dealings with the Alliance."

 

"And there you have it." Dor's voice and image came on. "We will keep you updated on any developments in this story..."

[Echelon]

News Hoax from FemBot!

 

Through a regular news station known for it's fair and balanced policy, a simple news reporter starts off his show with a disturbing and very real story.

 

"Good evening and welcome to, 'The Nightly Show'. Tonight we begin with a story on the loss of true media ethics and ideals. Over the past few weeks our investigators have brought up disturbing facts on recent news reports from rival stations. With more on this story, here is Uggloth Borgo..."

 

The screen switched over to a well dressed Mon Calamari holding a datapad in fin, "Thank you. It's no secret that the ethics and values of the Jedi Order has come into question of the past year. While we here don't presume to know what really fuels the Jedi Order in their actions, we have seen a recent decline of the media's own ethics."

 

The shot went to an abandoned warehouse with the remains of filming equipment, "In order to bash the Jedi Order itself, our rival news station, 'Galactic Free Press and News Corp' set up a seemingly realistic stage in their latest report of a Jedi admiting to the 'slaughter' of innocent people. When checking Temple records, no Jedi named Tanimus Sulstrum has ever existed with in the Order. More over, when checking with Corsec police records, they have never investigated the murders of what was claimed, 'several' families of the workers for Nepharius Fontaine. It seems the news station was merely falsely creating these reports." He finished.

 

With the shot now back to the main anchor, "Our investigation has come across yet an other interesting fact when dealing with this news station. Local authorities were able to trace the illegal feed despite being untraceable at the time. They traced it to an abandoned warehouse where they found the remains of an old FemBot and a toy lightsaber. When looking at the networks confusing but traceable fund reports over the last year, you will see the purchase of many similar FemBots, as well as work to alter their apperences. Such alterations took forms in many of the people they have used in their stories. Including:"

 

The first shots came in the forms of Charles and Marie Evans. The second of Officer DeUnger. And finally a picture of Ken Marich himself. "As you can see, the network is using these FemBots as anchors themselves. There will be more on this report tomorrow..."

[Dashel Illioni]

the feed interupts everyone's daily programming to the consternation of execs and engineers all of the net.

 

What people see is initially discounted as a hoax until the headlines scream forth from multiple outlets the following morning.

 

Uggloth Borgo is seen levitating in midair, slowly choking to death. Around his neck is a sign that says "thus is rewarded those without faith in the Jedi"

 

The camera slowly pans backward, and the room around him is a carnal house of disected bodies, some crucified, others racked, and others bear no mark except a second smile that bled them out. Many are clearly twisted in silent agony clearly relieved only by a death that took a long time to come. No one particularly race or age has been spared by whomever perpetrated this grisly scene.

 

Finally, the camera zooms in on two madly capering figures. One is concealed in a black, hooded robe while the other is the former hostess from 'Galactic Free Press and News Corp'. She is dressed in the remains of an expensive business suit and her eyes are clearly vacant after having witnessed the massacre and torture of so many victims. The black robed figure pulls back his hood to reveal a head mask of hideous design, clearly made from small patches of skin and fur from the varios beings lying about the room. It throws its head back and laughs, loudly and piercingly. "Beware Sith the justice that is Tanimus Sulstrum, for I will find you no matter where you hide."

[Dashel Illioni]

"Greetings to Sentients everywhere, I am Shar Brown, news anchor for the new and scrupulously balanced Evening News Hour."

 

"Our first story tonight concerns the alleged hoax perpetrated by one Ken Marich. Evidence has surfaced that absolves him of any wrong doing in what is now known as the Fembot Massicre (sp). The evenings second story concerns the dramatic escalation of the tensions between the jedi and their alliance allies and imperial forces."

 

"Our first story is centered around the former reporter Ken Marich. Evidence found on the scene of the massacre seen by so many viewers has absolved him of any problems in the case. The massacre witnessed by so many has been denounced by both the Empire and Alliance both in the media and at several high level negotiations. On both sides of the border, the mysterious figure seen dancing in this footage is being sought after by all branches of law enforcement. We are also told that the Empire has put a very large bounty on this creature's head. Common citizens be warned, both the emperor, the head of the alliance and the head of the Jedi Order warn you that this individual can be considred armed and extremely dangerous and that if you make contact with him, you should leave the area immediately and inform authorities after a seventy-two hour period has passed."

 

"And now, our final story of the evening. As many people have noticed, the due date of the truce between the alliance and the empire is fast approaching. Recently the shipyards at Mon Calamari and Kuat have began a rapid increase in their ship building orders while border forces and squadrans on both sides of the line have begun readiness drills at tempos unseen since the razing of Coruscant. The Jedi have been seen increasing the security at their temple, in ways obvious to us lay people as well in less obvious ways."

 

"Gentlebeings, be prepared for full-scale military action. Keep your loved ones save and may the Force be with you."

 

"Good Night from Shar Brown."

[Bad karma]

A man in midnight robes walked into view. His voice is low as he begins to speak. ”œGreetings ladies and gentlemen, I am here tonight, much to my dismay, to bring you grave news.”

[Nepharius Fontaine]

A galaxy-wide commercial came up on the Holonet...

 

Across the screen, footage of an electronic chip being created, in fast motion, could be seen.

 

*Female Voiceover* "This computer chip is an important part of YOUR life. It will go into a foodprocessor, a data recorder, a holocron matrix, a transit-system operator... You could say, this IS life." *End Female Voiceover*

 

The completed computer chip morphs into the letters "ISTS." Shortly after, a man, standing by a clean wooden desk, can be seen.

 

"Hello, I'm Nepharius Fontaine, owner of ISTS Incorporated. Let me ask you a question. When you... go to work, do you think about what makes that trip possible? Do you think about all of the effort that went into your ability to make dinner at home? Or visit this very Holonet? Here at ISTS, we take pride in our ability to think on that level... To think about what technology does for our everyday lives. Here at Integrated Systems and Technology Solutions, we have a passion for applicability. And THAT... is worth investing in."

 

A short music and visual came onscreen, signaling the end of the commercial.

[Dashel Illioni]

It came as an unwelcome visitor. The news was bleak indeed. Even the anchorman and women looked forlon as they read the lists of casualties from the various regions galaxy wide, Imperial and Alliance alike.

 

Endless bits of footage were recorded of the destruction at Mimban and Kuat. Not a voice was heard during these shots, a silient and forlorn testimonial to the bravery and sacrifice on both sides of the war.

 

Personal tales of tradegy and heroism abounded.

 

Yet buried beneath the battle statistics, talking heads, and propoganda blitzes employed by both sides, something more sinister lurked.

 

Small stories from Coruscant, Kashyak, and other civlized worlds were the kind that frightened children and terrified adults. Someone or Somethng was moving stealthily, quietly, with as much blackness at its heart as the Maw and sought to cause nothing but pain and endless torment.

 

One poem, often repeated throughout became a sort of official anthem on both sides of the line, although it was panned by many a critic.

 

"For lo, the drums did beat a martial tune from high

while on the valley floor mothers clutched infants weeping

as husband and sons turned toward the call, glory bound

 

Sunlight gleaned and glinted from armor and spear held hight

while streams of misery poured from bowed head below

as husband and son stood tall, glory found.

 

Trumpes called forth the shining host from moutain high

to spread light among valley darkness cloaked

as husband and son tramped to glorius sound"

[Cineon Yahn]

An intelligence officer of the Empire appeared on the Holonet, "If I may make a comment, I have military knowledge of the attack on the sovereign system of Kuat. Although the Empire has staked claim to the planet is indeed classified to be an Imperial province; we make no effort to hide this. However, at a time which cannot be revealed to protect the victims, the Galactic Republic has just made a severe terrorist attack on the third party ship supplier Kuat Drive Yards. Kuat has made exclusive contracts with the Empire, but they have the reserved right to withdraw at any time. The Rebels, however, have attacked Kuat and attacked no Imperial holding. No, they attacked the shipyard itself. We do not have a complete count, the estimated death toll is over 20,000... all civilians unafilliated with the Imperial Military. I am free to answer questions and offer my personal condolances to those who have just lost loved ones on Kuat."

[Dashel Illioni]

"Greetings to you my fellow sentients, I am Shar Brown, host of your Evening News Hour"

 

"First, we would like to extend this invitation to leaders to the leaders of both the Alliance and the Empire. Since the current battle is being ruled a stalemate as far as its progressed, we would invite you or your representatives to confront each other face to face. The rules are simple. One representative, searched throughly. Both sides sit opposite each other at the table, after care search through clothing and confiscation of weapons. Ysalamari will be on hand to help keep Force practitioners in line and practioners of all religions will be asked not to use any extraordinary gifts."

 

"The questions that we wish to elucidate our audience on will be the following: Imperial accusations that Alliance Forces raided the Kuati Shipyards, which according to Imperial Intelligence were civilian owned. The Alliance will also be asked to account for their unprovoked attack on the Imperial owned world of Mimban."

 

"The Empire will be asked to account for the following transgressions: Harboring of the ultraviolent faction know as the Sith. Since the Empire harbors them, we will also asked them why a group of Sith have apparently attacked the Jedi Temple, along with the former emperor Kakuto Ryu. They will also be asked to account for their detonation of the Reactor Core of Mimban and the subsequent civilian casualties it produced and the ecological destruction of the world. Also, they will be asked as to why they have in the past aligned with the Black Sun Criminal Organization."

 

"Our only other story tonight is indeed the raid of the Jedi temple by what appear to be other Jedi, which according to our sources, sped throught he Coruscant Knight killing whole familes before attacking the Jedi Temple there. One Sith, apparently the former emperor Kakuto Ryu, was seen riding a Krayt dragon, a rare and dangerous native of the Tatooine desert wastes feared for its ferocity, size and appetitie as the footage about to be displayed shows. Please, parents hide the eyes of your children, as this Sith Masters display is rather hideous, especially those of you with relatives stationed in Alliance forces on Coruscant."

[Cineon Yahn]

"This is outrageous, I object to the Anchormen's statements. The Empire does not harbor the Sith forces, and Kakuto Ryu, the Dark Lord of the Sith, was never the Emperor. The Jedi and Sith factions are at a war with themselves. Also, the Empire and Republic factions are at war. The Empire keeps it's focus on the Republic, who focuses on terrorists attacks such as the recent attack of the civilian Imperial world of Kuat. The Empire does make attacks and raids on Republic worlds, but only one those in which military bases are present and we do not condone the killing of innocent civilians, the Rebels and Sith having both done so. It would appear that the Jedi and the Galactic Empire are the only two groups that have any decency or righteousness in them. I demand that the Senate take action against the Rebels for their attack on Kuat!"

[Dashel Illioni]

The commercial lasts under 30 seconds. In it is an anonymous Republic morale officer who points to the footage of the current Emperor screaming viciously in an attempt to repudiate the anchor's verbal thrusts.

 

He chuckles and says very mildly, "You see, the light of freedom shines upon the Emperor and he panics."

[Yue]

A haze of staic came over the holo net, then was replaced with the image a rather tall man with brown hair and eyes dress in dust and blood covered jedi robes.

 

"People of the galaxy my name is Yue and I am a solider and a Jedi. Both of who I stand for have been under attack phsycaily and verbaly. The Empire says that they do not support the Sith nor do they give them saction, but that is a lie! The Sith rule the empire, just as we the Jedi help the Rebels help us. The Sith and the Empire and Sith use lies and violence to opress the people. We try to do what we can, but as the Sith run messages of me killing the innocent when it was his hand that did it our best dose not hold up. People of the galaxy do not give in to the Empire or the Sith. They will do what they can to destroy us as a whole. We may die, but we shall die trying to defend the truth, justice, and honor of life. I'm sorry for not being able to do more than I did, but I hope that you will never fall short of what you need to do to stop this unjustice agaisnt the galaxy."

 

In the background the walls start to fall around him and dust covers the scree then fades to black.

 

Life is only wasted on those who waste it.