Amidala Skywalker Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Well, it's very short. But here it is. *** I asked her out tonight. My friends all call me crazy. I mean, I'm just an R5 unit. I'm not new, or flashy, and I don't have a lot of cool gadgets. But I'm dependable and hard-working. I thought she might like that. She seems like that kind of gal. But when I asked her, she just stared at me blankly, like she couldn't believe her aural sensors. I got out of there as fast as my treads could carry me. I felt like the galaxy's biggest idiot. Who could love someone like me? I'm old and run-down, no matter how I try to stay in good shape. I'm bordering on obsolete. I mean, they're making R9 units now. R9! How can I compete with those jocks? They get all the flashy jobs, while I'm stuck reliving the glory days as I fix up junked landspeeders. It's a steady job, but since when does that matter to a beautiful gal like her? I mean, just look at her! All sleek and shiny, a fresh coat of paint on her. True, she doesn't have a fancy job, but it's an important one. And she can speak Basic! I mean, it's only one phrase, but it's more than I can do. The way her voice sounds. Those twelve words are the most beautiful in the galaxy. "Thank you for doing your part to make Coruscant a cleaner place." Kriff. I need more lubricant. It's the only thing that can get my mind off her. The more I have, the less I'll remember. And I need to forget. I need to forget that scathing look she gave me, and her scornful silence. I know XXG6 can get me some more. He liberates it out of the warehouse where he works. I think I'll head over there right now. Ha, I can just hear F-9B4's voice now. ”œYou won't have any chance with her if you're never sober, R9-V3!” SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedi_master_gimpy Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 LOL, Ami! That was a tough but amusing challenge, trying to write such heartsick emotion into a droid! You did an admirable job - I was impressed by all of the droid-like references you added - aural sensors, obsolete, lubricant instead of alcohol, memory wipes, data corruption - all mechanical/electronic mentions underneath the emotion of his unrequited love. In particular, I loved the trash can's one perfectly spoken line of Basic. "Thank you for doing your part to make Coruscant a cleaner place." Fantastic! It reminded me of Wally (the whole thing, not just that line!). Oh - one thing to fix - I think F-9B4's comment is supposed to be addressed to R5 instead of R9? "It's always these little worlds that get you in trouble. Like Tatooine. I'm still living that one down." - Han Solo Your barnacle has carnivorous salamanders the size of whales. "Let us hold unswervingly to the faith we profess, for he who promised is faithful." -Heb. 10:23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raynuk Montar Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) That was awesome indeed, I especially loved that it was from the droids internal monologue perspective, gives poor ol R5-V3 a very real feel. Edited April 22, 2011 by Guest I ate a hippo. It was delicious. May the Forth therve you well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 You did an amazing job on such a difficult challenge! You injected such realism into that droid character. And such heartbreak. It truly felt like it came from Star Wars. Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chosen One Ephant Mon Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Great work, Ami. Quirky but quite sad; the short, simple sentences really conveyed the tone of hopeless melancholy. I quite enjoyed it. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasori Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 That was incredible, seriously I don't like much Star Wars FF anymore, but this was just hilarious to it's last. Resident Tech and Video Game Geek Well, crap, Sasori is correct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jedi Master Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Haha...excellent. Only after we've lost everything are we free to do anything. Paper Street Press Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Ar-Pharazon Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Very short, indeed. You weren't kidding. ”œI need more lubricant.” [Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.] Member of the Four Horsemen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-quiet Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 Short, but entertaining none the less. LOL I would have appreciated a few more computer references (I.E. "Visually scanned" instead of "looked", or something like that, etc.), but otherwise, I found it rather entertaining. You know the closer you get to something The tougher it is to see it, And I'll Never take it for granted, Let's go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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