Galadriel Kenobi Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 (edited) Author's Notes: Okay, this is my response to challenge #3 as posted by Amidala Skywalker somewhat recently. The challenge was to write a short story beginning with the phrase: ”œWhen he awoke, he knew something was terribly wrong.” Edited May 12, 2007 by Guest "Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought." --- Abraham Lincoln "We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang seperately." --- Benjamin Franklin in the movie, 1776 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 I enjoyed reading this, though I didn't get it at all. Overall well written. I know the quote from Psalms, and it was used in a song somewhere I believe. The story went really quickly, which is to be expected in a challenege response, but I fell that there could have been a bit more detail... Good job though. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amidala Skywalker Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 What a great idea for a short story!!! I'm really impressed. Telling the story of the last days of Charn...that was really really cool. I thought it could have been longer, but it was good anyway. Actually, this could have possibly turned into a full-length fic if you had wanted. You included enough history that you could tell the whole tale of Charn and it's demise. I've always wondered at that hall of wax-like figures and how they got there anyway. I love Narnia, and this was great. It was Narnia, but it was in a different world than Narnia...that was a brilliant idea, and I loved it! SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 I didn't post the challenges, I do believe Ami did. Anyway, as a Narnia fan, I liked this. A different interpetation to what I had for the last days of Charn, but then... (grins) I haven't read that book in a while. Ah, well - I have to agree that I'd have liked to see this as a full length fic rather than a short oneshot. Narnia's an interesting world. I just never did manage to pull off a fic based on it. Should try again someday... Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galadriel Kenobi Posted May 12, 2007 Author Share Posted May 12, 2007 Silas: Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I know I probably could have stretched it out a bit more, but unfortunately, I ony know how to write things that are really short, or book length! Amidala Skywalker: Thanks! I am actually considering writing a full-length story off of this idea - I'm not sure I can pull it off though. I also have an idea for an AU version where there's another sibling who's actually nice. However, I may never get it written. I'm not sure I have enough ideas to fill in all the gaps Lewis left when it comes to culture, names, places, etc. We'll see! I'm glad you liked it! Tiana Calthye: Oops! I was sure you had posted those challenges. Now that I look (Imagine that - me, actually doing research?), I see that it was her. Sorry about that. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, and I'm overjoyed that this fic got such a positive response! "Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought." --- Abraham Lincoln "We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang seperately." --- Benjamin Franklin in the movie, 1776 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Organa Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I'm another fan of Narnia, though it's been years since I've read the books. I've thought about trying to get the set of them of late though... Ami's right when she mentioned you could have made this into a full fic instead of the short story. I enjoyed reading this and your interpretation was fantastic. It showed a more personal view and I liked how you wrote it from the old man's perspective. Very moving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 This was really good! For a while, I was so into Narnia, I read the books so many times that I still have parts of them practically memorized! But, alas, my obsessions are complete, and I can only handle one at a time. Anyway, I digress. Great job. Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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