Responce to Five Word Challenge: Dance (complete)

[silent88]

Hope this is alright:

 

Dance

 

*************

Every eye in the room spins to see as she enters. A hushed silence fills the room, and electricity fills the air. Her blonde hair lifts as if to show this, displaying her cinnamon roots to the room. She reaches up to pat it down, but her hand is caught by a nearby man. He swiftly guides it onto his shoulder, and whisks her around to the chestnut colored hardwood floor.

 

Finally the music starts once more and the silence breaks. Suddenly it is too loud to hear anything but the music. The combination of this and the electricity causes everyone to dance. She smiles as he spins her into the crowd, only to drag her out once more.

 

A circle of dancers forms around them. As if to acknowledge them her partner yells Sombrero. All of the dancers go through the complicated movements at the same time. The dancers now dance together. At the last moment her new partner plucks her out of the crowd of women and pulls her in tightly to his warm body. The heat of his body makes her realize how hot the room actually is. She ignores the heat and continues the dance.

 

As the dance continues she falls behind and she become lost, the dance becomes less electric. She struggles for a few minutes and then gives up, trusting he instincts. Soon the dance is re forged in full glory. Soon she is one again with the dance.

 

After what seems like multiple eternities the music stops, and everyone but her quickly shuffles out.

 

She is left dazed and smiling in the middle of the floor, the way she always is. Her mind wanders as if she doesn't want it to end. But end it must, for the dance is just as dangerous as it is splendid. The spark leaves the room, causing her to drift back to reality.

 

Houses line the street around her, she is back. Tears fill her eyes, she knows it was a dream, but she wishes it hadn't been. She lies on the street, blood flowing from her eyes, mouth, and nose.

 

She remembers when the madman in the black Sudan raced down the street.

 

She slips away.

 

She remembers being killed”¦

[Amidala Skywalker]

Nice job. I like the analogy with the dance, as I like dancing myself (even if I'm not very good at it, ). Nice incorporation of the words, and a creepy, unsettling ending.

 

Good work.

[jedi_master_gimpy]

Hi, welcome to fanfic, silent88! Mildly creepy response - yet wonderfully crafted. In particular I was struck by how it was her mind drifting and spinning that conjured the mistaken reality of her dancing to try to deal with the actual reality and the sudden dissolvement of that illusion. Nice job!

[Anakin T Skywalker]

Nice surprise ending!