silent88

Gagging on the salty cloth in his mouth while he screams into it Aluc starts shaking his body back and forth in an attempt to purge the things from inside of him. Pain floods the lower half of his body, he tries to focus on the situation at hand yet the pain is too intense. He starts to seize, and tries desperately to think of something he can do to get them out. He reaches deep inside himself to try to calm his mind, yet the only feelings he can grasp are of pain, misery, and fear.

Hey guys thanks for the feedback, sorry if it seemed a bit fuzy in places. I wrote in in multiple pieces, and each time I was trying to accomplish something differen't . I might put more stuff I wrote for that class up later, it was mostly poetry though. Thanks again

Dried blood flecked Aluc's face, as he looked up into the empty wall in front of him. He thought of all the things that had happened in his past trying desperately to recount something that could help him escape this situation. He could feel his mind waning from loss of blood, and he struggled to stay awake. When the person behind him spoke he could barely comprehend the words that came out of her mouth. He struggled for a few seconds then looked down and spat the blood out of his mouth and said the only thing that came to his mouth. "Hahaha... Do you know who your dealing with?"

Aluc sits silently, listening to nothing but the wheeze of his ships engines as he descends toward Naboo. Condensation splatters the windows on his ship as passes through a cloud. He slows as he reaches the landing field. Once he is on the ground Aluc climbs out of the ship. He does not leave it though instead he stands leaning up against it observing the crews of other ships. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a blond in a jumpsuit who appeared to waiting for something as well. He watches her for a moment attempting to catch her eye. When she finally looks in his direction he smiles and tips his hat. She smiles back awkwardly and looks at the floor. Aluc pushes off of his ship and wanders over to her, but once she notices his movement, she disappears into a back room. Aluc then returns to leaning on his ship waiting.

So this is something I wrote for a class last semester. I thought it might be something you guys would be interested in reading. Thanks to anyone who reads it ***************************************** The Final Thoughts of a Dentist: ***************************************** He mumbles something incoherently, and swings at the alarm clock positioned dangerously close to the edge of the nightstand. She responds by shoving the man next to her out of bed. He sighs, and walks over to the dresser to start his morning routine. She rolls over into the warm indentation his body left in their bed, and swiftly falls back into a dreamless sleep. He walks into the bathroom, stripping off his boxers and opening the frigid glass shower door to reach the hot water handle. He cries out when a pain similar to a pinprick shoots through his hand. He swats madly at his hand, and brushes something small and brown to the floor. He shudders deeply as he examines the hairy legs and ripe body of what looked like a female spider, bearing her new set of children. As he stares, the grotesque spectacle shudders and stops moving. He thinks about why the spider would have stopped moving, as he didn't hit her very hard, and realizes that she is terrified by the appearance of an almost hairless giant. He shakes the idea from his mind and focuses more on his intense fear of spiders, imagining how many more she must be carrying inside her. He turns on the hot water and watches as she desperately runs toward the edge of the shower, only to loose her footing in the sudden flood and be swept down the drain. Grimacing, almost regretful of what he has done, he steps into the shower and lets the lukewarm water wipe away all of his thoughts. His mind drifts to work and his sleeping wife, filling with tasks of the day and his presentation that coming morning. When his foot brushes the drain, however, he cannot block out the image of the spider, and hopes she will find a place to raise her children in the sewers. After a few minutes he steps out of the shower, plucking a towel off of the rack and holding it up to his face. It smells like mildew, but he continues to dry himself. He's too tired to really care. Once his body is dry, he walks to the counter and stares into the mirror. He vacantly picks up his toothbrush and spreads the fruity toothpaste that she loves onto the bristles, and plunges it into his mouth. The flavor instantly makes him gag but he persists, his dentist training telling him that this is good for him. The flavor reminds him of what happens if grapes are left in the fridge for months without being eaten. He briefly remembers his childhood, and his father laughing at him for wanting to be a dentist. ”œNo kid wants to spend all day sticking their hands into people's dirty mouths. Not when they can dream about being a rock star or an actor.”

Hope this is alright: Dance ************* Every eye in the room spins to see as she enters. A hushed silence fills the room, and electricity fills the air. Her blonde hair lifts as if to show this, displaying her cinnamon roots to the room. She reaches up to pat it down, but her hand is caught by a nearby man. He swiftly guides it onto his shoulder, and whisks her around to the chestnut colored hardwood floor. Finally the music starts once more and the silence breaks. Suddenly it is too loud to hear anything but the music. The combination of this and the electricity causes everyone to dance. She smiles as he spins her into the crowd, only to drag her out once more. A circle of dancers forms around them. As if to acknowledge them her partner yells Sombrero. All of the dancers go through the complicated movements at the same time. The dancers now dance together. At the last moment her new partner plucks her out of the crowd of women and pulls her in tightly to his warm body. The heat of his body makes her realize how hot the room actually is. She ignores the heat and continues the dance. As the dance continues she falls behind and she become lost, the dance becomes less electric. She struggles for a few minutes and then gives up, trusting he instincts. Soon the dance is re forged in full glory. Soon she is one again with the dance. After what seems like multiple eternities the music stops, and everyone but her quickly shuffles out. She is left dazed and smiling in the middle of the floor, the way she always is. Her mind wanders as if she doesn't want it to end. But end it must, for the dance is just as dangerous as it is splendid. The spark leaves the room, causing her to drift back to reality. Houses line the street around her, she is back. Tears fill her eyes, she knows it was a dream, but she wishes it hadn't been. She lies on the street, blood flowing from her eyes, mouth, and nose. She remembers when the madman in the black Sudan raced down the street. She slips away. She remembers being killed”¦

So I'm writing a story based on this and I'm confused, do the verbs supplied need to be in the tense given or can I change plucked to plucks or something similar?

Wow this is very well written. I never read anything unless I like the first sentence, it's a strategy I learned to avoid bad SW novels, I typically don't so it in short stories, but I still judge them and let me say yours was great it definitely set up the rest of the story and made me want to read it. Very interesting and well written, can't wait for the update.

Aluc feels a slight brush of something against his consciousness causing him to stir from just hiding. He has no idea what it mean, but can only guess the old man has found him. feeling slightly frightened he allows himself to find a better hiding place. He climbs to the top stories of the building, and waits because he know it will be obvious when the old man enters the building. His only thoughts as he waits are of almost mechanical plans of escape, listening for anything out of the normal, and hope that he can jump as far as he used to.

So I had to write a creative short story for a prompt in my creative writing class. I thought it would be interesting to post the prompt and my response. Its and interesting prompt if anyone wants to write on it that could be fun, but here it is: A character who is obsessed with their most marked characteristic and their afraid of what they regard as their lowest depth of misery. It's hot here. I mean it's blazing, all eyes on you, the lights on you. The body heat of a million plus persons staring at you all at once. Even just walking out onto the stage destroys all resemblance to a person that there is. Out here you are a star, maybe more than a star, maybe a god. Who would want this as a god? Even my mother is afraid of this. It started as a simple statement, a rebellion against the man. Quickly people started noticing due to the extreme methods I used to make my case. Soon I was doing anything to make myself unique. The need to be different grew from the sorrow of living alone in the hazy clouds of my mind. The need to be recognized grew to a point that I would do anything for attention. I soon found my way into a band that thrived on my need to be different. We grew from a punk rock band trying to make a statement to a band that needed the best live show ever. It started with yelling, to burning the US flag, burning bibles, to spraying blood into the audience. Just to feel unique. I started to feel like something wasn't right when my parents said they didn't want us to come home for Christmas, and they stopped taking my phone calls. I did so many things that I can never take back. I feel the diseases slowly take my life, but I try to be different to remain unique until my last breath. The eyes around the stadium all watch me as I walk to the microphone to give the last concert of my life. I destroyed those people with my poison, the way my need for diversity poisoned me. I destroyed them as I doomed myself. Now it was my turn. The crack from behind me starts the drum intro as I slowly walk to the front of the stage. People rush out around me and grab my arms. The people lift me onto a table, and chain me down. The man in the jacket whispers something, I just keep singing like I am expected to at the last concert of my life. I feel the needle touch my arm, and shortly I have no more control of my body, and the singing ceases, although I keep trying. At least there is no pain like they promised. I slowly feel my body fail as total control of my muscles stop, just like those dozen people all those years ago. It feels like yesterday. No one wants me anymore, no one comes to the rescue of their god, or their son. Now my eyes flutter around the room looking for redemption from my mistakes. The only escape I had found in my life was my music, it had destroyed me, just like everything else. My eyes rested on a camera, and I realized all of my worshipers were watching their god become a mortal, and with him their dreams are silenced.

Thanks for the welcome. I'll post the update once we work on it a bit more . I do have an actual story that has had few feed back and comments yet, so I would appreciate a few more comments and ideas. Thanks again for the welcome.

We were sitting looking at the requirements thinking that and Autobiography of the rocky mountains sounded really funny, we decided to write a funny autobiography of the rock mountains. Its just a joke, it would be a shame to enter this without a lot of polishing and way more written and a disclaimer saying that it was a joke, the tenses we actually fixed in a later version, sorry I thought I had the newest but it wasn't true. Thanks for the welcome. If you want to read something more serious of mine read my Silent Hill fanfic Silent

Aluc lands his clawcraft and waits for the dust to settle. Once he climbs out he reflect on his earlier life here. Why did that old man bring me here he asks himself. Flashes of his past suddenly occupy his thoughts. Anger floods through him. At least he knows the area. Aluc starts to jog slowly into the crowd of people trying to disappear.... After a couple minutes he runs to his old factory, if there is somewhere he knows best it is right here. He sprints into the doors, avoiding the guards with a secret passage only he knows about. He runs into the factory trying to blend in with the workers to avoid the cameras. He didn't know how the force fully worked, but crowds were said to help mute a single presence. Or thats what he was told.

Aluc coughs and stands up. Tears flood his eyes as air finally flows back into his lungs. He stands up and glares at all of the spectators. He debates leaving for a fair bit of time. Then climbs to his ship and flies away.

So there is this essay contest at school about the Rocky Mountains and first price is a 2000 dollar scholarship. My friend and I were joking about the idea of as the guidelines suggested and "Autobiography" of the Rock Mountains, as we laughed we realized we could actually make an amazing story we could write. So we did and I find it hilarious, just thought it would give everyone a laugh. Here it is so far do you think it can win 2000?: And Autobiography of The Rock Mountains" By: Flinn (our combined writing alias) I was once a pebble deep beneath the ocean ceiling. I sat on the floor, while dinosaurs roamed outside. There were creatures in my house that screamed and shouted, so a meteor killed them all, but I was immune to the earth shattering fire exploding death wave that encrusted the earth due to my rocky goodness. Then I was thrown up into the air as the earth was skewed due to the tremendous force of the meteor of death send to earth by the gods who were angered at the monsters that yelled and screamed and took over my home. Their blood was about to stain my carpet, but it was vaporized before it stain the pretty carpet. I fly through the air and land on top of the now skewed earth. I looked around and proclaimed myself king of the mountain and all the other pebbles around rebelled like the Communist bastards they are. They began to also raise mountains out of the ground in furious rebellion. And like the devious mountain ruling pebble I was I fooled them into following my rule. Like the insignificant pebbles they were they gave me complete control of the flock of mountain sheep that we had become. Like a dictatress shepherd I led them all to their doom. While they were drinking I cut their legs out from underneath them so they could no longer move, but alas even the strongest of minds can be but fooled. For the whimsical tales of a timeless treachery as the subtle dagger penetrated thy bodies shield and struck the heart with pains of love apart. Though my heart broke, pain felt me not and my divine legs collapsed beneath the fat, hoggenous pig I hath become. And I pronounced ”œCome let us to our gluttonous work again!”