Endor

[Guest]

((I'm just going to assume that we're still alive since......))

pinning them down in an effort that tries to turn the intensity of their mauling attack from "extremely painful in several inconvenient places" to "fatal".

 

Reaper, under all the tiny Ewoks was growing very angry by the minute, his animal rages powering his anger, pushes himself up off the ground using his superhuman strength. He then proceeds to throw them off and shoot one ewok after another, hitting them in the gut, head, and other places unnamed. One jumps on him, quickly climbing up on his shoulder,and bites his neck. Grimm turns, ripping the tiny ewok off his shoulder. He removes his helmet, looks the Ewok in the eye, grins, and snaps the neck of the tiny Ewok.

 

The pain that came from the spear in his leg was just a tad bit slowing him down, so he breaks the spear and pulls it out. He then rapidly shoots the remaining Ewoks that were upon them, leveling them into tiny pieces. He picks up the Jedi Sayn Ta, placing her on his shoulder, and takes off into the woods. The blood of Grimm squirting out with each step he takes. He needed to find a place to hide until he could heal and they could find a way out. Just as another group of Ewoks were about to come up on them again, Reaper finds an tunnel surrounded by bush.

 

He quickly dives in there, leaving a plasma mine at the entrance. They just so happened to stumble upon a secret entrance into an old underground base. Grimm moved behind another wall just as the Ewoks traveled into the mine's vecionity, and a loud blast rang through the area. Grimm leaves the Jedi behind while he looks for other exits and close them off as well. While searching the area for the other exits, he stumbles across an old computer, which he fires up and searches.

 

He finds out the base was an old underground base of the Imperials that was placed there for the generals, and were safe from being bombed or attacked. There was also a shield emitter around the whole base which he activated. With in a few minutes the old place lite up with power, and Grimm downloaded a schematic map of the place. He then searched the camera's and found a lone ship, only big enough for two people, in the hangar of the base.

 

They could use that to escape, and the ship shuld be fast enough to outrun any cannons the Ewoks might have. He locks the base down, even the hangar exit, which he transfered master control so it would only unlock from the ship's computer. There was no way in or out, except only the ship itself. They were safe. Grimm also found a medical lab where he and the Jedi could recooperate during their short stay here on Endor. Reaper went back and got Sayn Ta and brought her to the medical lab and proceeded to patch her up as best he could, then bandaged himself up and waited for her to awake.

 

He took her lightsaber, so she could not fight him, and he could deliever her to Umaga as soon as they left Endor. He went to the hangar, and proceeded to reactivated and reprogram a few mechanical droids and had them go to work on refueling the ship, and make sure that it would get them out of there. Soon they would be out of here and he would be paid, and have his new job.

[fuzzy_ewok]

The ensuing chaos leaves the Viet-Wok in hot persuit of the duo. Using their keen noses they are able to follow them, even into the Imperial base. The first batch of Ewoks eats a plasma mine that ends them in a hurry, but a few more, then a few more quietly slip in unknown to anyone.

 

If Grimm were to search around, he would find that in addition to containing old Imperial equipment, that crates of fine Endorian cigars, hand rolled by some of the galaxy's finest cigar makers, were stocked to the rafters. Fetching great prices on the black market due to a trade embargo against Endor's forest moon, these trade goods helped subsidize the Endorian economy. That being said, deactivating said shields was as simple as entering a security code. Given these were the Ewoks though, it did take a little while.

 

Shortly after Grimm gets his ship ready there is a loud knocking on the hangar doors, followed by a steady pounding.

 

Two Viet-Wok commandos, using an old AT-ST... or maybe it was AT-AT... not that the Ewoks were particularly skilled with names... left over from Palpatine's shield generator encampment, argue back and forth on what the best way to get into the bunker was. The end result is them firing at it as they fight over the controls, giving out a rather brutal exchange:

 

" Yub! Yub yub!"

 

" Hutta! "

 

Given the high standards of the RP here, a translation into basic is not needed.

 

As one crafty commando, loaded up with enough thermals to make the most trigger happy Ewok extatic, reaches the hangar door, he activates one, and is blasted by his friends, giving out one last cry of " " before the thermonuclear explosion takes him and the blast door of the hangar out. Two more shots of fire from the walker cripped the front of the vaunted escape ship with laser fire that fries the cockpit and removes the nose of the ship, and a second shot sets the crates of cigars on fire.

 

Stunned, the Ewok co-piloting the walker turns to his compatriot.

 

"Yub! Yub! Baka!"

 

[Translation: You idiot! Now El Presidente Chairman Politburo Leader Willet is going to be mad!]

 

The only logical response is to increase the fire power and march in, blasting the hell out of everything in a blaze of if not glory, then mega-cool explosions.

 

At this, two more spear men, showing more cunning, sense, and even tact than their friends, surprise Grimm with a spear right up the cornshoot, leaving its shaft sticking out the seat of his pants. The Ewok hops up and down laughing, remembering a similar incident involving the current leader of the Jedi, while a friend chucks another spear at Grimm that makes further sitting even less comfortable.

[Sayn Ta]

Sayn, who was apparently unconscious, woke up in her hoding area. She would not let some thugh 'hunt' her. She slowly let herself slip away into the Force. She would die, but join with the Force in the process.

 

Suddenly Sayn't body disappeared. Only her clothing remained where she was.

[Guest]

"OOOOuch" Screamed Grimm as the the two spears made their destination into him. The scream turned into a howl as the rage completely took over Reaper's body. He turned around quickly, and smiled at the little Ewok as he shot 4 blasts into the creature's skull. He then proceeded to turn around and fired 4 more into the other, the creatures brain spilling to the floor like his other little pals did. Though in tremendous pain, he managed to make his way to the med bay where Sayn Ta was, but found no one, only her cloths. He knew she had became one with their so called force.

 

He ran through the twist and turns of the base, killing off any Ewok that came within 10 meters of him, until he saw one dead with an axe. It was a tremendous axe for such a little creature, but in Grimm's hands, it made a deadly Ewok killing hachet. He picked it up in one hand, and proceeded back down the halls looking for a way out. With each corner he turn, Ewoks suddenly became headless as they approached Grimm, and others were chopped into splinters as Grimm's rage over took his pain.

 

Finally, after a few minutes, he came across another hall that had a security console attached to it. He hacked into it, and opened the door, but before entering, slammed his fist into, and went in before the door closed behind him. " That should hold them for a few minutes" Grimm thought to himself. As he went down the halls, he laid down mine after mine, so if any Ewoks got through the door, they would meet an very terrible end and many other followers behind them. He had laid down appoximatly 10 mines behind him before he turned another corner into a hidden area of the base that wasn't on any map he had viewed on the previous console. He busted the console there as well behind him.

 

Finally, there were two durasteel doors seperating them, and it would take awhile for even the Ewoks to bust through that. When Grimm turned around, he was amazed at what he saw. It was a TIE Avenger, sitting there is a small consealed hangar, and above it, a 3 meter thick durasteel hangar door. Grimm grinned, Finally, he might have a chance to escape. He loaded the ship and activated it. It was full of fuel, guessing it was in case of an needy escape, which was the case here. He fired up the ship's computer, setting a course for Tatooine. He did a system's check ,and it came back okay. He searched the surround area of the hangar, and the ship to make sure no Ewok had gotten in, which there was none. It was time to leave, so Grimm boarded the TIE, making sure he had a rubber dougnut to sit on to ease the pain. He then procceded to unlocked the hangar door Via remote control, and blasted off into hyperspace, quick enough to where no Ewok could shoot them down, even with the fastest of missles. He didn't have what he came for, but he did have her lightsaber, maybe Umaga would accept that.

[Conner]

Conner's ship blasted out of hyperspace, taking the controls of the ship he found a nice clearing to where he could land the ship with out any problems. Powering the ship down he noticed his master was in a very deep meditation, wondering what was really going on he opened the bay doors and walked down the loading ramp.

 

Looking around he started to make a small camp site as the Sun was shining over top of them he turned back to the ship and went to get his master. Kneeling before his master he waited for him to wake from his meditation.

[fuzzy_ewok]

The quiet of the meditation is rudely disrupted by a flaming caber, nearly 20 feet in diameter and easily five times as long, which promptly lands on and completely smashes the shuttle on which the Jedi arrived, sending both Conner and his master, Kitt flying head over heels until they crash into a large tree- dazed, perhaps a bit roughed up, their clothes torn, but still unharmed. That would soon change.

 

The giant log lands with an earth shattering crash, nearly crushing both Jedi and sending up a bellowing cloud of smoke.

 

Amid this, a lone Ewok, dressed in red, meanders over, brandishing a spear. Rather than engaging the Jedi directly, it surveys the wreck of the shuttle, and lets out a great bellow:

 

"Huta Huati chub chub!!! Yub yub!"

 

[Translation: We got it dead center!!! Great shot, comrade!]

 

The Ewok tests the burned out and ruined shuttle with his spear, satisfied when more flames gut out. The Ewok dances and laughs, then dances in curiosity, then dances in a panic, finally stopping, dropping, and rolling once his wooden spear, then his fur ignites.

 

More laughter emerges as a half dozen Ewoks, comrades in the Viet-Wok communist Ewok army that controlled all of Endor, step out of the forest. With as much dignity as the little fur balls can muster, they help their wounded comrade. Their leader, wearing the usual red cloth of an Ewok, though also wearing a green cap with a little red star on it, meanders over to the two Jedi.

 

"Yub yub! Huta wahotta mu?"

 

[Translation: Welcome to Endor, captialist strangers. We would like to have you for dinner.]

 

As if on cue, the Ewok produces a small menu and hands it to them.

 

"Huta whut? "

 

[Translation: Please indicate which you are and whether you are best rare, medium rare, medium, or well done?"

 

The menu gives the following:

 

Sith Stew with carrots and parsley

 

Fillet-o-Jedi under glass

 

Wookie spare ribs with minced fish

 

Human au gratin

 

White shelled Imperial Storm Trooper Peon with black peppers

 

Dark Lord Special (made from authentic Dark Lords)

 

Droid & Jedi special

[Conner]

Rolling to his feet after the blast destroyed his ship, looking at the damage that was caused Conner activated his lightsaber and held it out in front of him. Looking around Conner saw a dozen or so little Ewoks. "What are you doing we don't mean any harm" He said calmly as he deactivated his lightsaber and picked his master up. "We came here for training not to harm you, we will stay out of your way" He said and then sensed that they didn't care much.

 

Seeing his master knocked out, he pulled his master onto his shoulders and started to run from the Ewoks. Getting distance between them he tried to wake his master up as they kept running. Taking out his comm link he sent a message to the rebel base on Gala. "This is Conner please someone help me, my master is knocked out and well I'm being chased by evil Ewoks on Endor" Hearing twigs breaking and noises he kept running.

 

"There has to be some place we can hide." Seeing what looked like abandoned base up ahead Conner took the chance to hide in there. Reaching the base and seeing it in better condition then he thought it would be, pushing open the door he placed his master down and started to block the entrance with heavy crates and shutting the doors. "that won't hold for long" Picking his master back up he walked into another room, looking over the control panel he started to power the station back up, lights flickered on, and the security system powered up. Locking the blast doors that would hold the Ewoks out and making sure ever entrance possible was sealed.

[fuzzy_ewok]

What makes a man? This is a time honored question that has been pondered for ages. Is it bravery, courage, the woman standing behind him, or the choices he makes?

 

As the Ewoks batter down the doors with their mighty tree rams, and others storm the base through hidden air vents, wiser heads than they would reflect on this question- now facing Conner in a life or death manner.

 

Is it a matter of proving one's self when the chips are down, and one is faced with his worst nightmare. Is it valiantly defending one's closest friends and loved ones?

 

The Ewoks, simple, yet vicious, finally remember they rooted out all left over bases on Endor and used them to stock Endorian cigars and weapons. It was just a matter of entering the right codes... if only someone actually remembered that.

 

With Conner, surrounded, Ewoks pouring, surrounding him with spears, hammers, and flesh flaying axes, the question of what it was to be a man became very important. This was going to be his finest hour or his last. So perhaps that thought would have come through his head, given the odds.

 

Perhaps it would take on a new, more important meaning as a lone Ewok warrior, leading the charge with about a dozen of his comrades, threw aside his spear to fight Conner, tooth and claw. Perhaps actions like that would make a man?

 

But if something like that- facing down an Ewok, with its tiny teeth and claws, as they shreded flesh, tore at the skin, crumbled bone, and ripped everything else apart with a mighty rend- what if something like that could unmake a man?

 

So Conner was now faced with the question in a very personal, painful way- is one still a man when a savage Ewok is latched onto you and with undo viciousness, tore into one's crotch with your claws and teeth. Depending on how successful that most brutal and hurtful of attacks was, as it almost certainly was- is one really still a man when all is said and done?

[Kitt]

((I am going off what I can read of your post.))

 

Kitt was in complete shock at what just happened. He had not excepted for a little ewok with anger issues to attack them. Kitt acted quickly as he could, lifting his hand, and sending a blinding light into the eyes of the ewoks. He then jumped and landed in the middle of them, right next to Conner. Kitt lifted both of his hands, creating a force wave, which sent all of the ewoks smashing into trees.

 

Since they were small, the blast knocked them out cold. Kitt helped is padawan up off the ground. The Jedi took a look around, and frowned as he noticed that Coner's ship was in no flying condition.

 

"I am sorry. I did not realize that an ewok with anger issues would have attacked us."

 

Kitt pulled out his comlink, sending a encrypted message to his droid back at Gala, letting him know that Kitt's ship would need to be sent to Endor to pick them up.

 

Kitt reached out with the force to feel out where the main ewok was that attacked them. He was sure that he would try it again, must psychotic beings did. But the next time, Kitt would not be caught off guard. He would be ready for him.

[fuzzy_ewok]

Despite Kitt's concentrating effort on the lone Ewok savaging Conner inside the bunker, the fact that he was able to pin him against a tree suggested a few other problems with Kitt's plan of action.

 

First, for a tree to be present, the main blaster door would have to be sprung open.

 

Second, for that to happen, many, many, many more hostile Ewoks would be attacking.

 

Third, a large flaming arrow just embedded itself into Kitt's thigh, causing what would certainly be a very painful distraction for the Jedi, especially with how it caused his Jedi's robes to light up like a Christmas tree.

 

The net result is more Ewoks swarming over Kitt and his apprentice, poking them with many spears. Of course others, realizing a blazing Jedi was an opportunity not to be had fairly often, made the most of it by roasting marshmellows over the alive and burning Jedi even as they attacked him.

[Kitt]

((Dude, what the crap?))

 

Kitt flinched in pain as he felt heat in his thigh. He quickly pulled out the arrow from his leg. With the short amount of time he had, Kitt had to act quick. Kitt's eyes began to glow yellow as loud bangs began to sound and small flashes of lights blinked fast around him and Conner. The show startled all of the ewoks around them.

 

Kitt quickly pulled out and grabbed his padawan, and used the force to jump. Both Kitt and Conner disappeared above the trees, no longer visible or traceable.

 

Kitt landed his his apprentice around forty meters away from where they were. Kitt dropped his padawan as he fell to the floor in pain. Kitt quickly let his eyes roll back into his head as he began to use the force to pull skin tissue back together and slowly mend what was damaged just a few seconds ago.

[fuzzy_ewok]

((It's called read the thread and realize there's been an army of maurading communist Ewoks here for the past three years who have near absolute control over the Forest Moon and have been butchering trespassers left and right. Club club commander! ))

 

The Ewoks leapt back in shock as the Jedi vanished into the air. A moment of pause came upon them as they debated what this meant and how to deal with it.

 

The following conclusions were reached as they munched on their marshmellows.

 

First, that thing they set on fire was NOT a Jedi as they thought, even if the thing with him was.

 

Second, it flew, hence it was a bird. A very big bird.

 

Three, birds were tastier than Jedi sometimes and they should probably try to catch it.

 

Fourth, if they were lucky, they could finds its nest and make omelettes. Omelettes rocked!!!

 

Fortunately, while the Ewoks could not see their prey, they had their cute lil' adorable button noses. Said noses were keen and tracking the scent of blood and burning flesh through the tree tops was not overly difficult for them, though their short, furry legs made it hard for them to keep up.

 

At that point, they called in the speeder bikes.

 

In the grand tradition of the old Ewok hero Wicket (now remembered through revisionist history as a champion of Ewok nationalism who stood up against Imperial-capitalist oppressors and drove them from Mother Endor, destroying their big battle moon of death with his loyal band of Ewok comrades), they secured some old speeder bikes from the end of the Galactic Civil War and kept them more or less functional. An elite troop came into being, equivilent to knights on horseback, fully capable of riding down any foe.

 

Naturally, when they caught up to Kitt, he would hear a terrible buzzing and see a speed bike flash towards him, almost faster than he could follow. With a great cry and deft handling, he would watch as the bike swooped past, hit a giant tree, and exploded into a ball of flames, throwing its Ewok pilot off into some bushes.

 

Despite this, a lasso from the next bike caught Kitt right around the neck and began carrying him through the forest at speeds of nearly 600 kilometers per second, bouncing him along the forest floor and causing sticks and twigs to become embedded in the most unseemly of places.

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

((Kitt did you get my PM?))

 

Before the ewoks, who had underground tunnels, and a very extenisve tree system coudl locate the Jedi-padawan team, Scorp came screaming into the atmosphere, listening the the hardest metal rock he had been able to find.

 

He primed the weapon systems on the gun and with out warning took down the anti air- implacements that he could recall firing at him the last time he was here.

 

Turning the guns and missle silos into melted slag, he felt remorsful to an extent, for he was shoot in suprise at a group of Ewoks. however hostile situation meant he had to act as fast as possible.

 

Pulling back up and out of the atomosphere he doubled back to make a second run of teh area, before the Ewos, fully moblized themselves. He took down two more hiden emplacments before turning tail and running, skimming just above the tree line, searching for the two stranded Jedi. Which wans't all that hard to do, since he figured he could just follow the tale, tale signs of destruction.

 

This would be the worst part. Finding the two Jedi and escaping this blasted world. He set the ship for auto pilot, and preprogrammed into it a set of responses if certain stimuli were present. then reaching out with the force, he streched out to locate the two Jedi.

 

Screaming above the jungle, the Ship suddenly juked upward, and Scorp with his eyes closed free fell only a short distance into the tree line. His hand shot out to snag a tre branch, and he soon stopped his decent as his only mode of transportation streaked up and of the atmosphere. He had a plan. A very simple yet very complex plan. Find the two Jedi, and get the heck out of here. Simple in thought, complacated in action.

 

He had purposly dropped away from the two Jedi, as to not draw attention to himself or them, incase they were hiding, however, that meant he would have to doing a small hike. He wans't an idiot, he hadn't dropped a half of a kilo away, he was still pretty close, and if he was lucky very fast.

 

He wasn't sure if Mes had followed suit, but if he had, this would make his job all the eaiser. He was glad the jedi had at least been by the rotting remains of the base he himself had holed up in to a degree.

 

He closed his eyes and drew on the force once more. time was of the essence. He had to make sure he reached the Jedi and got them off world some how. he looked up, the ship was nothing more than a streaking speck in the sky, distant and teh distance was growing. He waited until it passed the moon before suddenly taking off like a blur. He was making an indirect bee line for the two stranded jedi.

[Conner]

Watching the speeder bikes fly past them one crashing and the other snagging his master by the neck, he started to run after the bike, knowing it would be out of site soon. Reaching out with the Force he could feel another Jedi near by, hearing buzzing coming up behind him he activated his lightsaber and cut one of the bikes front off and jumped onto the second on. Conner threw the Ewok that was driving the bike into a bush, he sped after his master.

 

Coming up behind his master he was able to grab hold of his master and cut the rope that had him by the neck. Turning the bike around he headed towards were he felt Scorp. Stretching out with the Force one more time he touch Scorp with the Force as they came up behind him. "Are you here to get us off this rock?" He said to Scorp as he looked around for the Ewoks.

 

He quickly turned around as he heard some sticks breaking and screaming, he used the Force to throw some rocks at them, knocking some of the Ewoks out of the tree he turned back to Scorp "We better move quickly" Pushing some of the spears and arrows that flew their way, he held off the Ewoks as long as he could.

[fuzzy_ewok]

The search for the great bird became suddenly interruped when news of an even bigger metal bird arrived. Despite the galliant chase and tumble that involved the Ewok calvalry, Conner, and Kitt, the streaking shuttle reached the Viet-Wok high command. Something would need to be done about this.

 

Oh yes, something would be done.

 

With that, they mounted their anti-ship batteries and began to lock onto the ship as it weaved in the atmosphere, its pilot below joining Conner and company in their pursuit.

 

Down below, the grand speeder back chase ensued, the Jedi trailing after Kitt, who was now battered and bloodied, bouncing along like a child's play thing as the Ewok riding the bike cheered and danced in the cockpit, oblivious really to the Jedi chasing behind him, and even the freeing of said captive- at for a brief few seconds.

 

At the Viet-Wok command center, their guns finally drew a lock on the fleeing craft.

 

At that point, the biker turned about and began wildly opening fire on the bike with the escapeing Jedi. The blind fire probably did more to damage the forest than the Ewok's enemies, but eventually one shot got lucky and blew out the Jedi's engines, sending them once more tumbling to the ground.

 

Elsewhere, a command to fire came into effect. Far above the moon's atmosphere, a lone ship exploded in a ball of fire- its remains hurdling down towards the moon below, almost entirely burning up in orbit...

 

Almost entirely...

 

A swarm of Ewoks surrounded Conner and Kitt with their spears and axes, conducting probes in their usual, invasive fashion, ignoring how things like flesh and bone were supposed to stop things like spearheads from piercing certain "vital organs".

 

The attack suddenly breaks off as the lead Ewok looks up, then makes a small request to Kitt.

 

"Huta huta! Yub yub?"

 

[Translation: Excuse me, but could you stand to the left?]

 

At that moment, Conner, thrown onto Kitt's left, found himself the victim of a piece of lavatory waste from Scorp's exploding shuttle craft. As the shuttle burned and broke apart in the atmosphere, the septic system more or less survived- at least long enough to flatten Conner beneath it.

 

With a wild cheer, the Ewoks watched, danced, and in a token of good faith, offered their marshmellows to Kitt.

[Kitt]

((I did...A little on the late side.))

 

Kitt held onto his neck for a second as he was released by his padawan. Kitt pulled out his lightsaber and activated the blue blade with a snap-hiss. As an Ewok approached him, Kitt swung his blade, forcing the Ewok away from his deadly weapon. Kitt could smell the burning of fur as his blade made contact with an Ewok. He looked to his padawan to make sure that he was holding his ground as well.

 

Kitt could now feel the presence of another Jedi, one that he felt before around Kirlocca. Kitt reached into the force to inspire the group. "Hold on, stand your ground until the ship gets here." Kitt made another sweep with his lightsaber, taking a look towards the sky, hopping to get a better glance at hope of survival from above.

[fuzzy_ewok]

With Conner dead and flattened and their offer for Kitt to join in eating marshmellows, the Ewoks begin a great attack, throwing themselves after the Jedi. Of course, given that he welded a lightsaber and they had primitive weapons, it was no contest. Still, to save his very life, Kitt would be forced to use his weapon and cut down the invaders.

 

After a while, the pile of dead Ewoks grew great, emitting a burning stench grows greater and greater. Eventually, the pile is up to his knees, then his waist.

 

At that point, the Ewoks back off and launch flaming arrows at Kitt, setting their dead comrades on fire. Trapped by the wall of dead Ewoks surrounding him and still stabbing him with spears and arrows, he is caught in a funeral pyre and roasted alive. At that point, the surviving Ewoks take to singing Kumbaya and roasting their remaining marshmellows around the Kitt-fire.

[Kitt]

...WTF?...

 

Kitt was on fire out of nowhere. Kitt raced to move quickly. Kitt drew on the force the aid him in what he was about to do. Once he had the energy that he needed, Kitt launched himself into the air once more, the speed at which he went put the fire out. Kitt landed in front of an Ewok, but the Jedi wasted little time in swinging his blade and beheaded the creature. Kitt didn't have time to waste on whether or not it was right or wrong, he was surrounded by creatures that were supposed to be easily startled.

 

Kitt began to use the force to aid him in his run towards Scorp the moment the head of the Ewok fell. Kitt never put his lightsaber away, for he would need it to save himself again. Kitt finally made it to Scorp.

 

"Let's get going, now!"

[fuzzy_ewok]

((Kitt- you got roasted alive- you are dead, I'm afraid to say...))

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

((hmmm well I am going to go with the ewok, if you are alive Kitt I will naturally edit my post to include you. However...))

 

There were times where you sometimes just needed to sit down and think. This was clearly one of those times. After running at super human speeds he had crashed rather ungratfully in to a ship. Upon closer examination i.e pulling off the branches covering the ship. > He discovered it was an x-wing.

 

By the force!

 

He reached inside and after a quick rummaging found a number of explosive devices. Slowly he got an idea. After feeling the death of both jedi that he had come here to save his entire line of thinking had switched from finding other jedi to well, save his own neck really.

 

As the dying echos of Kitt's death ran through the force, Scorp had finished his inspection of the ship, and had rigged ot the way he wanted. He was gonna have one shot at this, and only one shot.

 

Leaping into the cockpit, he activated the x-wing and after priming the engine for a moment, he suddenly shot upard and forward far faster than he had expected.

 

The ewoks were, still a rather primitive race, and he was goign to wager that on the other side of the planet the ewoks over there wern't ready. So he took of skimming the top of the jungle as fast as his sublight drives could take him. Then with a sudden jerk of the controls he climbed in altitude, and released the first stage of his plan.

 

The first batch of explosives blew up behind his fleeting form. While that did draw attention to him, it at the same itme confused the ewoks just long enough for him to put some serious distance between himself and them. After all they had to wait till the smoke cleared before they relaized that the big metal bird was still flying and hand't been shot down in some way or another.

 

He closed his eyes and with the force released the second package. The explosioin shook his teeth. he had clearly cut it too close behind him, yet it had provided what he needed, not the same distracion as before, but instead a much better one. That of a smoke screen. Finnaly emerging into space he released the third and final package. Jetting away as fast as possible, it fell into the atmosphere before exploding giving the ewoks a beautiful firedisplay.

 

Meanwhile Scorp himself blasted off into hyperspace. Well that was a memory he never wanted again.

 

((Ha thank you Aero, I ran though this thread over and over again. I guess I should thank BK too for making Aero leave an x-wing full of explosives.))

[Guest]

Kitt I think fuzzy won that one. Sorry to say but you're jedi-kebab.

 

See you in 3

[Guest]

*Their last plot having failed miserably, the marginalised Nazi ewoks had been sidelined by the superior forces of their Communist oppressors. This time, however, they had a new weapon. One 'Der Fuehrer' Jerry Hungo intended to capitalise on.*

 

'Makka makka yub nub! Golden Grahams shubba shibba wam-bam tank ye mam!'

 

*The NSEAP(*) had returned to make an impact in Endorian politics. They intended to take the fight to the red scum.*

 

'Yub Yub HEIL!'

 

'YUB YUB HEIL!'

[Guest]

"Yub... YUB!!! Arglarga!"

 

An ewok by the name of Ach'mad Da' Ubadah Zaahir, ordered his ship to orbit above Endor, after exiting hyperspace just near the forest moon. He had just returned from his father's funeral; his had been cast into space after being assassinated by a mutinous crewmember. Unfortunately for that crewmember, most of the crew remained loyal to his father. After that ordeal had been quelled, JIHAD, as his equals called him, took control of the ship.

 

He sat in the command chair of his newly inherited "Munificent-class star frigate". His father being one of the few Ewoks to ever leave Endor, had made a name for himself as a ruthless space-pirate. After a recent battle, this frigate, which he had made his personal residence, was all that was left. This ship will take many others! He thought as he observed his home world out a viewing portal on the bridge of his ship. His next in command approached him, "Yub, glibglob oonga wheee " ((Shall we bring the ship into atmosphere Commander?)) JIHAD spoke back in a small, yet sharp voice. "Yiiiiib. UGH arglarga Noonga fwee " ((Negative, I will take a shuttle to the ground. Keep the ship ready.))

 

He armed himself with a T-6 Thunderer Heavy Blaster Pistol, and a shortened scythe, and a thermal detonator from his ship's armory. He called on two of his best guards, armed with light blasters, and thermal detonators to accompany him, and led them over to a transport shuttle. This shuttle was his personal shuttle, therefore was armed with a mounted heavy repeating blaster on each side. His two guards followed him to his transport, then he let out a loud screech: "YAAAAMMMMBAAA " calling his Nek onto the transport with him. The cyborrean battle dog growelled, ready to accompany him to the ground.

 

The transport left the ship and made it's way down to the surface of Endor. The Ewoks and Nek left the transport and made their way towards a rising hill, and looked out over a small cliff into the forest. He could see no villages anywhere around. "We will set camp here!" the Ewok said in his natural tongue. His ordered a guard to open a comm link to the ship: "Ogaaalam. Hoorah ub sleeper neega. Flaba oob." (Send 6 guards and 6 constuction workers with supplies down to my location. We have determined our location of command.)

 

Another transport lowered to the ground, and the soldiers and workers stepped out. The commander ordered the workers to begin creation of a command network in the trees. "Shleeba Shleeba, inganoon." (We must have this completed by nightfall! Guards, keep nearby and notify me of any intelligent species you come in contact with, immediately!)

 

As the workers continued building, JIHAD looked onward, and judged that they should be done building their temporary shelters in the trees by nightfall. With the area secured, JIHAD stood by his Cyborrean Battle Dog, with high hopes for his fellow Ewoks.

[Guest]

A voice rang out through the forest. It was one of a hearty, brave, and courageous ewok. The voice seemed to settle like a trance over the ears of its listeners, but not in a controlling way. In places over several parts of endor, civilians began to gather. Talk spread of a”¦.liberator. One who would scourge the ”œred plague”

[Guest]

It seemed as many days, and many nights passed by as the ewok's base was built. Sentry towers were the first buildings to go up, and an officers residence followed quickly behind it. As JIHAD had not been on a planet for such an extensive period, in so long, he was feeling a sense of tiredness he had not felt in space. After returning to his ship for a period of recovery from this effect of being bound to a planet, JIHAD decided it was necessary for him to personally oversee the progress of his first installation. JIHAD's transport was escorted by an armed transport of troops and an additional ship of construction workers, to speed along the building process.

 

As JIHAD surveyed the beautiful forest moon through the viewing portal of the transport, he observed that there was billowing smoke coming from the trees of several locations, not terribly far from the location of his base. Thoughts ran through the busy mind of the ewok as he considered the best way to make good with these communities. As JIHAD continued pondering the possibilities, the ship slowed over the location of their previous landings. An extremely small tower of green smoke pumped out of the trees just a little ways past the location, towards the rising cliff they had staked out, drawing their attention to the guards waving them down to a new arrival area, within the trees. After stepping off onto the platform, sturdily built by his workers, the transports let out the workers, and continued to the forest floor with the soldiers.

 

”œYa inga Lubhuhhub. Yanga jenga leg fwafwa.”

[Guest]

The first night went by easily. The villages were set up, and our established economic trade routes were isolated to only include the fascist Islamic controlled villages who supported the Liberator. Heightened sources of tension grew as the communist ewoks who still lived in the new fascist villages decided to stay and live there. Those stubborn fools. They do not know what lays in store for them, and that they are in the way of a revolution.

 

Also, the mosques were constructed with ease. The gold and stone deposits were very close by to the villages. Nearly all Muslim inhabitants contributed to the construct whether it was by generously giving food to the workers or by adding a little stone here, a little gold there. Nearly all ewoks gave out of the bottoms of their hearts to our nationalistic ideals.

 

Soon, the ewoks silently rounded up all non fascist Islamic ewoks and all communist ewoks. Little by little the groups of infidels grew, something had to be done. Then all at once word spread of how rather than isolating them in the village, the communist ewoks were simply outcast into the nearby forests.

 

Although, not all solutions to the infestation were peaceful. Word also spread of how in certain villages containing the more violent ewoks, body counts grew. With each minute passing there were more infidel bodies cast onto the wooden plank streets for all to look upon and pity. This genocide did not last too long as several pacifist Islamic ewoks managed to end the killings and simply booted out the other infidels.

 

Later, barracks were set up. Walls were fortified, and male ewoks were clothed in garbs bearing the newly chosen icon of this Fascist Islamic movement: the iron crescent. Also, training began for many ewoks that would be drafted into the military known as ALLAH which is short for Allah's Large Liberating Arsenal of Hairballs. These would be among the finest guerilla soldiers ever squandered.

 

Just as speech was about to be made by the ewok priest, there came a call made by the guards at the door indicating that a visitor desired to make entry. A loud creak sounded as the two massive armor plated wooden doors began to part upon revealing an emissary, a guard, and another ewok carrying several crude tools standing there. The local village leader approached them with 10 armed guards, all pointed spears and wielding hatchets, ready to pounce upon the unsuspecting visitors if they so much as made a wrong move. The village leader bearing the iron crescent image upon his breast approached the travelers and prepared to make conversation:

 

Yaa-yaah! Che womok! Bont nub paamuk! (greetings! Beware, I have great power!) Said the leader heartily as he took another sip of a wine bottle.

 

The emissary responded that they were sent on behalf of a Muslim leader who had just landed on the planet and was scoping out allies for his conquest.

 

Chirpa, the village leader with the crescent on his chest, paced back and forth and disappeared into a nearby building. The guards stood there continually watching the newcomers. One guard scratched his head, and another lowered his spear to reveal a leg of an animal that the ewok immediately began munching on.

 

Chirpa exited the building that had previously engulfed him and had a smile on his face. After taking several minutes to talk to the emissary, he confirmed his response that the Fascist Islamic ewoks would in fact ally with this new Muslim force from the vast expanse of space that surrounded the planet. Although, he refused to send a leader with the messenger. After handing the messenger a gift of fruits and meats from Endor, Chirpa set the 3 visitors on their way.

 

Immediately afterwards, the large ewok, Chirpa, rolled towards the wall and scrambled up a ladder. He then pounced over to a platform where he announced to the village the new allies of the fascist ewok force. Then, picking up a nearby Kalashnikova he fired it several times into the air with one hand, and at the same time there were several nearby female ewoks wearing the traditional Muslim birka yelled into the air ”œALALALALALALALALALA”

[fuzzy_ewok]

Naturally, all these various new Ewok factions soon came to the intention of the original, the one, the only true Ewok power on Endor. After talks amid the politburo standing committee, lead by "El Presidente y Los Angelos Del Muetre" Willet Wolly. The findings are grim. The secular communist state, while claiming authority of Jihad in their own way for reasons of feverent fanatism rather than state doctrine, frowned upon the new group. Furthermore, reports of these fascists, lead by these capitalist subsersives truly threatened the people's freedoms and rights to dwell in an Ewok communist Utopia.

 

In short order, the name of the Uberwok is as reviled as that of the infamous Emmanuel Goldstein. Indoctrinates of these other two orders are soon rounded up into the new Ewok "Ministry of Love" where they are rehabilitated and eventually given "release"- in the Giver sense and not in the sent back into society sense.

 

As concerns grow, the poliburo decides to wipe out all other "fake" Ewoks from Endor. A lone Lambda class shuttle takes off for a small artificial moon orbiting the Forest Moon with Wolly and his key advisors. There in, keys are set from peace to war, and all weapons and super lasers are powered up in what promised to be a decisive move to end the war before it started, as well as send a message to the galazy...

[Guest]

The ewokese leader known as JIHAD was soon notified of this threatening artificial moon above Endor, that had seemed to come out of nowhere. Immediately JIHAD was shuttled back to his ship above Endor where offensive moves were set into place, against the clearly hostile moon. As sensors read the moon's superlasers and weapons were powering up, JIHAD knew he must strike quickly, and fatally, for his ship and colonies to survive.

 

Once on the command bridge of his ship, he found that his ships weapons and engines were ready, as he had commanded when they first reached the forest moon. He ordered an immediate bombardment of the small moon's main super lasers. Immediately, the Munificent-class star frigate, fired all ion-cannons, neutralizing the main weapon, and the prow heavy turbolasers straffed the lasers of the moon, hopefully permanently destroying the main weapons.

 

As all of this took place in a matter of seconds, the ship itself made its way rapidly to the underside of the moon, where the main weapons, could not possibly reach his ship. All twin turbolaser cannons were ordered to fire upon and attempt to destroy all turrets and turbolasers within range. All light turbolaser turrets, as well as any point-defense laser cannons, were on guard for any counter attacks, meanwhile plucking away at the stationary weapons on the small moon.

 

Once in position under the artificial space base, all of the droids stored in the ship were prepared for boarding, and thirty thousand of them were launched in boarding transports heading for various entry points on the underside of the artificial moon. The boarding force consisted of a mix of battledroids, superbattledroids, B3 Ultrabattledroids, a good amount of droidekas, and a small force of ”œsuicide”

[fuzzy_ewok]

Unfortunately, in the famous words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, the phrase, "That's no moon. That's a battle station." rang aptly true as ever meaning it was shielded from the petty attacks launched against it and that tried to wring control of Endor from the Viet-Wok.

 

Death Star Potempkin was ready to fire.

 

Commander Willet Wolly gave a long speech, realizing that Endor was overrun and the stations full power was going to be used. Hopping up and waving both a spear and the severed leg, Wolly, frothing at the mouth, screams curses at the various Ewok factions that arose up to challenge him on Endor- the Fascists, the Nazis, and the recent Jihadists, which all stole several pages from his book on world domination. Insensed by these Copy-Woks, enough was enough. He composes himself near the end though for an eliquent speech.

 

[Translated from Ewok: Today marks the red dawn as it rises over Endor. Note that our sun is not yet a red giant, though ponder quietly that the red sun is the largest star to inhabit the sky, but its dawn is approaching as we purge Endor of its capitalist pig-dogs and roaders, and sentence them to the eternal re-education camp beyond the stars. We will fight with courage and bravery and for the honor of the Viet-Wok.]

 

Phonetically, it comes out a bit stranger.

 

"For Cream Cheese and Pony!"

 

The turrets on the Potempkin fix on the cruiser as if it were an opera house, and its main weapon locks onto the Forest Moon itself.

 

[We're taking them out! Communist Ewoks Forever!]

 

"BLOOD FOR ODIN!!!"

 

With that, the button is pressed and the Death Star's battery of lasers shred the enemy fleet, as well as fires its main cannon at Endor. In that moment, everything comes to an end in a brillaint flash.

 

*****

 

When the smoke and debris clear, Willet waddles over to a viewscreen, looking at the devisation on Endor. Debris hung everywhere from the shredded Jihadist fleet, as well as from the torn up rocks and other particles blasted into space by the energy released from the Potempkin's now burnt out super laser. Willet sniffs as if he can smell something burning, only realizing too late its him. Stopping, dropping, and rolling (and don't you forget it, boys and girls) saves his life.

 

Once more at the viewscreen, he looks at Endor, or what used to be the Forest Moon of Endor...

 

The lasers were not at full power and merely cracked the crust in an artistic design, leveling everything save for the better half of Endor that was Viet-Wok controlled. The end result was to be a great design, traced into the barren rockbed of the moon to show the Viet-Wok insignia of the hammer and sickle proudly. Willet stares with his large, liquid eyes, wondering what this symbol meant:

 

( Y )

 

It dawns on him later that he merely succeeded in tracing a giant pair of buttocks on the forest moon, but with the opposition defeated celebration occurs, followed by a week and a day of various jokes full of the merits of communisms, giant butts, and assorted scatological humor.

[Guest]

Silence. All was calm except for the dense aura of anxiety of a suspense. A steady and quiet pitter-patter sprung the forest a short ways. Several bands of ewoks waddled forward through the dense Endorian foliage with grace, ease, and a motivation. It was a motivation that continually called from the heavens from Allah and from the courtrooms and villages in the form of a campaign against communism, the red plague.

 

The bands of ewoks plodded along in a much more organized fashion than normal ewoks. These cuddly occupants rambled in rank forming the size of about several platoons of ewoks. They marched on, armed with the most high tech weaponry that their government protected economy could provide for such a resilient race: wooden spears, hatchets, bows and arrows, bags of rocks, and the most high tech of all currently produced weapons: the car bomb. They would be the first wave of the scourge of communism. They were God's Finger.

 

Soon approaching was the wall of a village. Of course, this no ordinary village. This village was housing infidels, and God's Finger had come to free their souls. The ewoks knew that dawn was soon approaching and that they had to act fast. Several soldiers tossed ropes over the tops of the walls. Several other soldiers used their tiny fur balls of muscle to scale and wiggle up the sides of the grand trees that seemed to hold up the sky.

 

Then, after silently infiltrating the village, the ewoks were sent to work by an overseer. He pointed briefly at several ewoks and then at various buildings. Immediately, the ewoks pulled out bull horn like devices and gave an announcement that involved a death threat to all non Islamic infidels. Many screams were produced in the village houses at the death threat, but not all the screams were followed by ewoks although many civilians revealed themselves in front of the huts to join Uberwok's forces. Unfortunately, not all ewoks could be saved. Thus, vengeance had to be enacted on the infidels for their false beliefs.

 

The leader of the platoon of God's Finger stepped forward and asked for the village leader. A fearful looking ewok wearing a headdress stepped forward and acknowledged the platoon leader. After taking a few minutes to give a speech about how Communism was the work of the devil, about the oppression that it causes, and the consolidation of the social classes and how it nullified any success that any one ewok may produce for his family, he bit off the head of the village leader and tossed him in a sack for food.

 

Several male, female, and child ewoks screamed at this but refused to join the fascists. They were soon freed from the red plague with a firey explosion as 5 Jihadists activated car bombs on their chests and leveled multiple buildings, crushing any and all infidels under the weight of their own false teachings and buildings.

 

It was only then, when a deep rumble was set through the earth. Several jihadists dropped trench coats that they were wearing at the sound of the grumble from the planet, upon which revealed the car bombs strapped to their chests and the AK - 47's that several members of God's Finger wielded. One ewok screamed and pointed to the sky as he removed his black face wrap.

 

The sky was filled with a large green light bolt that seemed to come from the moon. They had all remembered the legends of old when the bearded village elders told stories of a sword master and his defeating of a moon that hovered over the planet like this one. Only this time, there seemed to be no sword master.

 

Following the defeaning roar, was a burst of redish orange flares that spewed up into the atmosphere in the distance that looked like fingers stroking a harp. Of course, the ewoks would never have known this for the not so humbler inhabitants of Endor would have been more likely to eat the hands and use the hard as strings for their bows. Then, all was calm. The ewoks scratched their heads and rubbed their tummies as they prepared to roast and eat several of the infidels.

 

What had actually happened was that up to about 80 to 90 percent of the Islamic followers were single handedly sublimed and had transcended the physical realm. These ewoks were now dead, and their souls were basking in the sun while the male ewoks enjoyed having 7 wives in heaven. Fortunately for God's finger, the most elite of all jihadists and suicide bombers, they had been made the frontal assault of the Islamic movement and were well into enemy territory secretly converting communists to Fascists and were too far away from the super laser to be destroyed. Also, seeing as the exact location of Uberwok was uknown to the devious Willey wolly, there was no way for him to be sure whether he succeeded in blowing up the Islamic Fascist Commander in Chief of Camel Squads and All, which was Uberwok's official title.

 

Shortly afterwards, an ewok with a platoon of jihadists looked up in the sky to view the cataclysmic drawing of a butt on Endor's face. That lone ewok shook a fist at the artificial moon that meant little at the moment, but would soon mean vengeance in the future. That lone ewok was Uberwok, And he vowed that day to rid Endor of this Communist scum that had just defaced the entire planet with a vulgar image. Seeing as Endor was now officially unclean, Uberwok pulled out a walkie-talkie and pressed a button on the device after finding the correct frequency. He muttered a few words into the microphone which were broadcasted to all remaining newly converted villages on the planet (there weren't many at all) to light signal fires and pull off the biggest prank that would possible topple the butt on Endor.

 

Uberwok gave the order: ”œDUMP CREAM CORN!!”