Endor

[Lord Asshat]

Achzet found a couple of tools. He found the toolkit they used earlier to fix the cockpit. He picked that up and found a couple of other necessities such as a cutting torch and a fusion cutter. He picked those up and asked his master," Should we get back to the stronghold?"

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

"Yes lets go."

 

Scorp took of in a sprint to hurry back. His past lucky clearly had said things went nuts when every he left something alone. It took only a few minutes but soon scorp and his padawan were back at the stronghold.

[Lord Asshat]

Achzet stood next to his master. He was pondering on what they should do next. Achzet sensed something coming their way. That thing was distant, but coming closer to them. " Master I sense something coming. What shall we do next?"

[fuzzy_ewok]

As the young padawan speaks, his premonition comes true. Blown by a great and prevailing wind, vast clouds of smoke billow through the area, slowly seeping through the trees and area in a great cloud too fine and great for even a Jedi knight to push back using the Force. Amid the smoke, or perhaps just behind it, the chattering of Ewoks can be heard.

 

The foggy smoke bank, rolling in swiftly, engulfs the two Jedi, carrying a slightly sweet if not giddying scent from the exotic plants burned to send out the great plumes.

[Lord Asshat]

Achzet slid out his two vibroblades from his sheath. He took a defensive pose and waited for the attack. "This is where it gets fun." Achzet said with a smirk.

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

Scorp sensed an attacking coming. Using the force he quite litterly threw his padawan inside of the stronghold before rushing inthere himself. then dropping his load. He activated his lightsaber a hole in the stronghold for smoke to filter out of.

 

"Why did you want to make your stand in the open. When y ou can make it here in much better visiblity. Plus in here protects us from the traps you left out there."

 

Scorp shook his head.

 

"Anyway Try not to kill our attackers."

[fuzzy_ewok]

As the smoke swirls and filters in about them, filling their lungs, things start to happen.

 

It's not certain at first, but things begin to blur, then the colors alternate between very vivid and very dull and dim.

 

Yub.. Yub... Yub...

 

Achzet's first sign of real trouble is when he sees Scorp transform into a snarling rancor that breathes fire and has glowing red eyes, covered behind a neon, swirling blackground of grey, grasing, hands.

 

Yub.. Yub... Yub...

 

Scorp's reactions are only slightly less interesting, when his hands swell up like balloons and seem to ripple like water. The bright and vibrant beam on his lightsaber turns into a great and deadly serpent, coiling and ready to strike. His padawan shrinks to the size of a pea before his very eyes.

 

Yub.. Yub... Yub...

 

All around them, the sweet smelling smoke still billows and turns, still seeping into their lungs and into their system, reaching every cell of their bodies. Strange shapes and colors appear out of it, ranging from pink minature X-Wings, to bite size Death Stars, to a giant bobbing head of a demonic looking Zabek.

 

Yub.. Yub... Yub...

 

Then the Ewoks appears- monsterous ones, ten feet tall and floating in the air, with massive blood stained fangs and claws, letting out a great war cry. The Ewoks are everywhere! Thousands of them by the sound. Outside, hundreds upon hundreds of those giant, mutant, horrible Ewoks can be seen, marching up to the fortress their battle cries growing louder and louder, the blood gushing from their mouths.

 

Yub.. Yub... Yub...

 

As Achzet looks on the fearsome rancor, now turning its beady eyes in his direction, and Scorp is faced with a deadly lightsaber that turned into a horrible serpent, with what ever rational functions are left in their brains- three question should be asked: What was in that smoke, how are we going to deal with these uber mutant demon Ewoks, and do those little Death Stars really taste like chocolate?

[Lord Asshat]

Achzet looked at the rancor that was his master. He knew in his heart that it wasn't his master. Achzet dashed inside. He began to clear his mind and all things around him. The rancor transformed into his master again. Achzet knew that he cleared his mind perfectly. He remained calm and cool.

 

 

He got ready for the attack.

 

Outside, Achzet heard the screams of the ewoks as they fell into the traps that he set earlier. Achzet didn't want to kill any of these creatures, but if he had to he would do it.

[fuzzy_ewok]

It's an interesting side note, that while temporary lucidity can be gained through the use of the Force, the complete act of detoxifying one's body after it has been thoroughly saturated with poisons takes extreme patience and effort as each molecule needs to be dealt with, taking knights and even masters over a period of days unless some exact chemical antidote can be synthesized on the spot (which given the current surroundings, is impossible). Due to the nature of this particular drug on the human physiology, the Jedi are likely to stay shroomed out for at least a day or more, with recurring "flashbacks" for the next month as the chemicals have long since entered the blood stream and are slowly compositing themselves in their brains, filling in the sensory synapses. Even if inhilation of the drug were to stop now and purging at a Master's level were under way, the damage was done and would still endure for the next three days.

 

The Viet-Wok would not give the Jedi that time.

 

Furthermore, studies conducted by Senior Anthropoligst Hoole, the famous Shi'doh anthropologist and studier of many myriad species across the galaxy, in his studies of various races and cultures, found the unfortunate note (or culturally fortunate note depending on how one looks at it), that in cases of hallucinogens imbibed by various peoples that not only are all five senses held in thrall by the drugs effects, but the sixth sense- typified by the Force, is also as equally effected as the mind's perception based on midi-chlorien offered responses are as equally, if not more skewed.

 

As far as the Jedi would be concerned, those giant Ewoks give off positive readings in the Force, as do the mini super lasers from those floating Death Stars. As far as the Force tells them- they are both hunky-dory fine and actually flying at the moment.

 

For Achzet, the comfort of seeing Scorp is only off set by the giant Zabek head now visibly gnawing on his leg, sending out gashing rivers of blood. The image of his master vanishes, turning into a giant Darth Maul now, grinning like those fiendish heads tearing into him. Actual pain is felt, but it is eclipsed as more and more Zabek heads began assailing his throat, sides, and arms, biting in and sending out impossibly great fountains of blood. Those same heads converge on Scorp- glowing a bright yellow.

 

Around them the whistling noise of arrows and spears from all directions can be heard from beyond the smoke, the drugs sending them to great, heaving scratches and loud shrieks that tear at the ear drum. Outside, over a half dozen hunters of the Ewok hunting troop lay incapacitated in the traps, moaning softly into the thick green leaves covering their faces, their companions having moved swiftly on to finish the job.

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

Scorp figured he must be going insane. One minute ago his lightsaber was in his hand. 20 seconds ago a snake was in a monstrous hand that looked like a water balloon. Looking around in confusion he looked at his teen-tiny padawan. Almost laughing at his pea sized padawan his head snapped to the left as he heard a murderous roar reach his ears. Coming out of the forest giant ewoks came rushing toward him. Suddenly little X-wings and Death Stars galore came out of nowhere. Looking at his hands, the snake and the huge Ewoks he wondered if they had chocolate centers or at least caramel. Well there was only one way to find out. He would have to capture one and split it open. He decided between his huge hands and the snake he had he could capture one out of all the ones coming toward him. As he rushed toward them they seemed to take off and fly away in the strangest ways. Some would go head over heals back into the jungle. Others would simply fly backwards into a tree and quite a few of them just flew in other Ewoks. Despite him many attempts even going so fast everything was a blur he was increasing unsuccessful in catching the huge ewoks. It seemed to him that no matter how hard he tried they all went flying at the last moment. Suddenly he had one with in range. Using the snake that was wrapped around one of his huge hands he threw it foward and watched as it bit of an Ewok's arm.

 

”œBAD SNAKE!! BAD BAD SNAKE!! I WANTED TO CATCH THEM THEN EAT THEM!! NO YOU WON”

[Lord Asshat]

The pain was unimaginable. It hurt him so badly. Achzet felt as if he was going to die right there. Part of him wanted to. He knew he had to survive this ordeal though. What was his master was now gone.

 

The ewoks could be heard outside. They were getting closer and closer by the second.

 

Achzet knew that he had to somehow wear down the toxins. He did not know how though. He never encountered this type of poison before though.

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

Scorp quietly rocked back and forth inside of the stronghold waiting for the Ewoks to rush through the tunnel. HE couldn't wait. With all these blasted Ships flying around it would be a nice distraction to rip apart an Ewok and get the candy center. HE was gonna be mighty disappointed if th Ewoks turned out not to have candy in the middle.

Scorp looked at his snake as he still grasped it in the middle. It still looked reasy to strike. He had abandonded the plan of using it as a rope. Perhaps he should let the snake take a bit at the ewok's chest's yes the giant ewoks would get the bit of the snake in the chest and then their candy center would leak out.

 

Suddenly Scorp grew dizzy and for a moment everything grew clear. Then just as quick he moved his head to keep one of those blasted x-wings from slamming into him.

 

"I wondered where my tiny padawan got to."

[Lord Asshat]

"I am over here!" Achzet yelled to a voice in the wind. He was not sure who said it, but he let them know he was there.

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

Scorp suddenly had a crystal clear moment before everything went back to being crazy again. However at least he was able to retain his logical thinking processes this time. Glancing around he knew that everything he was seeing was wrong in one way or another. Find no other way to truly rid himself of these images he decided to dive deep into himself and begin to extracte what ever was causing him to see such visions. Staying only half alert he began by trying to clear out his blood.

[fuzzy_ewok]

As Achzet proceeds on, the images of the tiny, devil looking Zabek heads biting him take on a more familiar look, showing that they were very real and that golden glare of their eyes came from something very furry and malicious. Why the drug induced visage of Sidious' first apprentice manifested itself over the Ewoks was uncertain, but, as one of the attackers tears out Achzet's throat with his tiny fangs, sending out a great and fatal fountain of blood, a new meaning is given to the phrase "Mauled to death." ((*rimshot*))

 

Meanwhile, one of the Ewoks lies on the ground, wounded by Scorp's attempt to reach his candy center. The rest watch the Jedi freak out with his hallucinogenic stupor, trying to run on. Bemused, they stay behind near Achzet's body, watching and confering among themselves.

 

"Yub yub! Huta!" One says, pointing at Achzet.

 

[Translation: This one tastes like ham.]

 

"Wa-chu, Gwupa!" Responds another, watching Scorp.

 

[Translation: That one is f-r-e-a-k-i-n-g out! Holy cow!]

 

"Club Nub," comes an affirmation.

 

[Translation: Yeah. That's pretty cool. He may be a capitalist pig dog, but that's alright in my book. Maybe we shouldn't eat him.]

 

There are nods of assent, and taking Achzet's body and that of their wounded companions in two, the Ewoks quietly withdraw, leaving Scorp to his rantings.

[Scorp Jedi Knight]

Scorp pressed a button on his belt and waited. He was slowly but surley purging his system. HE had felt the d eath of his padawan and that meant that it was time to go to plan B. 5 hours later a small ship arrived in the atomosphere. It rocketed downward on it own pre determined flight. Scorp pressed another button and the cockpit opened. Then now with a slightly clearer mind he leapt into the air as the ship flew past. Landing in the cockpit. He pressed a button on his console and he was taken far from here on his way to the retrival point.

[fuzzy_ewok]

Later that night, the Ewok troop dines heartily on their bounty, though they suffer small side effects from the drugs pumped into the Jedi. They laugh and toast, praising the glorious red revolution of their leader, "El Presidente" Willet Wolly, who transformed the prolateriot Ewok class and would make it on equal footing, then capable of overthrowing the bourgeoisie inhabiting the rest of the galaxy at large, consolidating the galaxy's means of production into a material system for the greater benefit of Ewok kind.

 

*****

 

As Scorp's ship takes off, concealed planetary lasers, manned by a much more competent and technically trained Ewok staff pick up the ship on the radar.

 

"Huta "

 

[Translation: What the hell is that, a bird?]

 

"Chulfa! Knack! Knack!" Comes the cry of disgust from his superior commander.

 

[Translation: You idiot! We ate all the birds for comrad Willet's "Three Eats campaign" to promote Soviet style agriculture. THAT is a ship!]

 

"Huta "

 

[Translation: Do ships taste good to eat?]

 

"Knack clot clod !"

 

[Translation: Yes! They have a meaty center! But SHOOT IT DOWN FIRST YOU ]

 

With that, a stream of fire shoots up from the surface, targetting Scorp's ship- and with more fireworks at that instant than would appear over DC on our national anniversary.

[Snowtropper]

Barrek's ship landed in a small clearing, when Barrek stepped out he smelled the crisp clean smell of the large tree's that loomed overhead. He Then started to make a camp, after all as long as he was here he might as well be comfortable.

[fuzzy_ewok]

As Barrek settles into camp and all is peaceful and calm, there is a loud, thunderous explosion, on par with the end of the world- well, maybe not the end of the world, but certainly the end of his ship, which was blown to smithereens by some unknown, unaccounted force. His comm, should he try to activate it, was jammed with static.

 

Around him suddenly, the trees all around him are alive with sinister cries of "Yub yub!"

 

Once more, the Viet-Wok communist Ewok guerilla forces were on the hunt.

 

As this feeling of sinking despair hits him, arrows fly out of the forest from all directions, all aimed at him and his general vincinity, each of the stone tips sharp enough and launched with enough force to turn him from swiss cheese into cream cheese.

[Snowtropper]

Barrek activated his jetpack causing him to fly 25 meter above the ground just barely above the tree tops he then started to fly foward trying to get far away from the the Viet wok he laned a few miles away. he vowed that he would get those acursed Ewoks and use ther bodies as bantha fodder. Barrek then started walking around to find the Ewok village high in the trees. He then grabbed his blaster fifle and flew up into the village. When he was in the he filled the air with the soubnd of blaster fire, he fired at the Ewoks leaving smoldering holes in them, he killed the old , the women, the working class, and the children. Then all that he light there homes on fire. He walked away form the buring village laughing to himself. The ones who had burned his ship would come back to see ther burning village and know that they and there goverment were at an end.

[fuzzy_ewok]

Though one Ewok village fell and was scattered, it was a grain in the desert for the mighty Viet-Wok army, which covered the whole of Endor and through its own machinations was more technically adept than during the days of the second Death Star. More arrows and stones fire up, piercing his limbs and destroying his jet pack and blaster rifle. He won the day, but was bloodied and wounded.

 

As he is forced to leave the ruined, smoking village with an obvious limp, a single Ewok runs up to him, hidden in camoflauge during the destruction of his village, throwing around a big bear hug, holding a tiny glowing sphere in his hands.

 

[Translation: For my mother and father! For my brothers and sisters! For the tribe and good of Mother Endor! For El Presidente Supreme Commander Willet and for the United Endorian Ewok Republics, I give my life for the communist cause!]

 

"For Allah!" he cries aloud phonetically.

 

At that, the thermal detonator explodes, leaving a crator where Barrek and the Ewok were. Once more the Viet-Wok claimed the territory of Endor for its own. As usual, one of the many myriad souls who landed on Endor was savagely attacked by the Viet-Wok, and met its end.

[Snowtropper]

Barrek awoke from unconsiness his body was bloddy and broken, his whole body felt as if it were on fire. He activated his comm and siad into to need help, bring weapons and soilders. He then began to pull himself into a large group of bushes. When he got inside he started to fall asleep. His last thought was I need to get off this planet and soon.[/i]

[Tarrian Skywalker]

Yo snowtropper... you're dead... see you in three days... stop posting till then...

[Sayn Ta]

The Freedom Express, a blue-trimmed Corellian Corvette emerges from hyperspace into the Endorian orbit. In it are two Jedi. One Gungan Knight, one human Apprentice. Sayn Ta and Dino.

[Guest]

As Grimm exited hyperspace, he saw the target's ship dead ahead, hovering above the planet. He dove straight for the ship, unloading his heavy blasters at the Hangar door, and leveled it. He shot into the hangar and after leveling his ship out, landed inside the Corellian Corvette with a soft thud.

 

He exited his ship, in his Necro Plasm Armor, and went on the hunt for this Jedi named Sayn Ta. As he ran through the halls of the ship, he ran into a few defensive droids armed with small blaster pistols, Grimm just dove behind something and threw an ion grenade at the droids. "Ka Boom" went the grenade, "Sizzle" went the droids wiring.

 

Grimm went on throughout the ship, throwing a grenade or leveling the droids as he went, with his duel blasters. Finally he found the room where Sayn Ta and her apprentiance was. He casually walked in with both pistols in his hands. As soon as he was seen, the two Jedi stood up readying for his attack.

 

"Jedi Sayn Ta, I am here in the name of Umaga the Hutt. There is a price on your head, and i plan to have it. I need a job, and your head offers that. This is between you and I, so have your apprentiance stand down, or he too will face my wrath" he said as he aimed his blaster at both of their heads, the laser sights both appearing right between their eyes.

 

((1 on 1, 3 posts each, winner lives, loser dies in the winner's fourth post. You get first post. If you have any questions or concerns you can PM me(here or @ Master Scorpio Armegedon) or AIM me @ DukesOfRapides))

[fuzzy_ewok]

Before the duel can get under-way (and before certain OOC prohibitions come into effect because of it), there is a large explosion at about the same time the ship containing all three starts shaking violently and plummeting towards the Forest Moon, with Grimm's ship following. The accellerated G forces throw Sayn-Ta, the Grimm, and Don against the ceiling, causing them to momentarily black out.

 

When all three wake up the corvette and Grimm's ship are tangled together in a broken heap on the floor of the forest moon. There is a loud horn cry, followed by the beating of several war drums in the distance surrounding them. Though none of the parties may have been aware of this, they all violated the soverign terroritory of the Viet-Wok Communists. Armed with Star Wars equivilent Soviet grade military technology, along with a great big stock-pile of nukes, they reacted violently to just about anything they perceived as being either capitalist or violating their territory, or in short, anything at all.

 

A voice, carried by a loud speaker states the following in Ewok, echoing through the trees of the forest moon:

 

[Captialist Roaders! You have violated Endorian territory and will be killed. You are all dead, so make your peace now.]

 

In the basic, the warning speech sounded a tad less eligant:

 

"Yub Yub! Wahoota- Yo Momma!"

[Guest]

When Grimm awoke from the crash onto the planet of Endor, He stood up dusting off his armor and looking around. Although his ship was all but evaporated, his speeder sat off to the side, almost untouched by the crash. Grimm looked around and heard what sounded to be Ewoks squabbling. To their surprise, Grimm understood it very well.

 

"Captialist Roaders! You have violated Endorian territory and will be killed. You are all dead, so make your peace now." was the message.

 

Grimm let out a loud roar that could be heard half way around the planet, then yelled a message back to the Ewoks in their native tounge. "I have no fight with you Endor, this Jedi's head has a price on it, and that is all i am after. I want no quarrel with your people. Let me have what i came for, and i will leave you to your peace. That is, as soon as i find a ship"

 

Grimm stepped back, waiting for his reply, and watching for any trouble that would present itself.

[Sayn Ta]

Sayn Ta shook her throbbing head as she stood up on the Forest Moon's floor. She instantly cursed as she realized her surroundings. The Gungan Jedi Knight had puposefully not landed on the hostile planet. The Viet-Wok were well known savages. If she and her Padawan were to survive, they would need to find a way off planet-quick!

 

Wait.

 

Her Padawan?

 

Her Padawan!!!

 

Sayn looked over to her right and saw a heap of metal that used to be the Freedom Express. Tears swelled in the purple Gungan's eyes as she realized that she could no longer feel the life presence of Dino. Her Padawan's life had been ended...and it was the fault of her attacker.

 

Her attacker.

 

Sayn looked over at the man who was a few meters away. He had burst into her ship out of no where. And for what? Because some gangster had put a price on her head? Wait, the Hutts had returned to the Galaxy? The Gungan realized she must warn the Galaxy. Sayn Ta, the mild-mannered and respected Jedi Knight, would not tolerate this. First, she was attacked on her own ship. Then, the deranged Ewoks shoot down that ship. And now her Padawan was dead. Whats more, the Communists and the Bounty Hunter were now threatening her life.

 

Sayn watched as the Assasin tried to negotiate with the Endorian Captors. Jedi Ta had researched the planet enough in the Jed Archives to know that their was no discussion with the natives. Only death. The female Knight didn't want to be around to see that.

 

The odds might be against her, but she still had the Force.

 

Sayn Ta leapt up high into one of the world's thick trees, out of range of the Hutt Bounty Hunter. She used all of the Force she could muster to speed with agility across the trees' various branches, occasionally jumping from one tree's limb to another. The Gungan Jedi Knight's only hope was to find and abandoned Imperial outpost. Maybe there, she could have shelter and send out a distress signal to her fellow Jedi to come and rescue her.

 

She could do it....if she didn't run into any angry Ewoks on the way....

[Guest]

Grimm was standing there waiting on his reply when he heard a rustle in the trees above. It was Sayn Ta, trying to escape him. He just chuckled and took off after her on foot, all the while the green glow of his armor eye shades glowing with his glee. He fired shot after shot into the trees at the Jedi as she made her puny attempts to outrun Grimm.

 

"I will catch you Deary" Grimm roared as he chased after Sayn, all the while an grin came across his face. This was his favorite part of the hunt, The Chase. He slowly picked up speed as he chased the Jedi that was jumping from limb to limb. Then, out of nowhere, a small cliff came in front of Grimm. He stopped, pulled out his Xerroll Sniper rifle, looking through it's scope, he saw Sayn still jumping from tree to tree about 15 clicks ahead. He lowered the scope, typed in wind measurements, and took aim at Sayn.

 

He slowed his breath, took a deep sigh, and pulled the trigger. "Ka Pow", went the rifle, burying it's bullet into Sayn's shoulder. He fired another one as she dropped to the ground, this one burying it's self into her leg. Grimm looked down, and saw the cliff was only a few meters off it's floor, so he jumped down it, and went into a roll when he hit bottem. He then proceeded to finsh his hunt. Just a few minutes later, He came across Sayn. He slowly came up behind her, and while she couldn't notice her through her pain, he aimed the gun at the back of head.

 

"Make one move, and i'll blow your head off Jedi. I'll let you live for now, but we're going to find a ship, get out of here, and return to the Hutt's palace. Dead or Alive, I get the bounty." He waited for her reply to this.

[fuzzy_ewok]

Before the drama can play out any further, dozens upon dozens of tiny Ewok warriors, armed with spears come charging out of the forest, surrounding the pair. One spear ends up going through the back of Grimm's knee and another ends up unfortunately going through Sayn's wounded shoulder.

 

The two find themselves in a rather unusual, if not comic situation, save for the deadly seriousness of their predicament. The Ewoks abandon their spears and start latching onto the two, grabbing a leg here, an arm there, onto the back on one, the neck on another.

 

For a moment the whole scene looks cute, peaceful, and heart warming, perhaps like something out of an overdone Hallmark card with teddy bears wearing red hoods (Viva the revolution!) hugging a rather mismatched odd couple, even softly nuzzling them as if to confuse their capitalist enemies. Then at once, they turn, biting, intent on mauling both parties to death. The two given in under a wriggling, giant, dog pile of fur as the Ewoks launch their attack, pinning them down in an effort that tries to turn the intensity of their mauling attack from "extremely painful in several inconvenient places" to "fatal".

 

"Club club commander! Hee heee heee! "