Anakin T Skywalker Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 (edited) Response to two challenges: April (6) and March (3) ************************************************************* ************************************************************* FORGETTING SOMETHING? ************************************************************* The door flew open. Startled, he whirled around to confront the invader, coming to stand between Padmé and the door. His hand slipped off his lightsaber when he recognized the intruder: Obi-Wan Kenobi. His old Master wore a bright smile, and his lips moved joyously, but Anakin couldn't hear a word he was saying. Suddenly, he felt that horrible floor-drops-out-from-under-your-feet kind of feeling, the one that makes your legs buckle and your face go so white you can feel the blood drain out. The feeling of failure. Anakin gasped and jerked to a half-sitting position on the bed. It was only a dream, he told himself, for what had to be the 874 trillionth time in his life. Shaking his head to clear the feeling, he settled back down onto the pillow. He glanced over to where Padmé lay beside him for reassurance, but the feeling of disquiet stayed with him. He felt as if he were forgetting something, something important”¦ He sat up with a jolt and practically flung himself from the bed. The class! He was late for the piloting class he had to teach! Basic piloting was still the only class the Council allowed him to teach, and being late for it would not go over well. The Masters had been absolutely shocked when they'd found out about his ”œattachment” Edited June 4, 2008 by Guest Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 (sighs) Still have no words. I read this earlier today. I was kinda sad it just had the gag/shocker ending going on. I mean, it wasn't as bad as APRIL FOOLS... but it was still... You know what? I suggest you take a look at this fic--before the point where Obi-Wan showed up for the aniversary point--and realize what a gem you had here. Maybe it means more to me because to me, this is what should've happened. This is what SHOULD have happened. I mean, I know the point of this fic was for that SURPRISE ending... But... This is my favorite AU that's not EVIL to read. My favorite notion that I've ever read from another writer: Anakin is caught with his attachments, banished from the Order, his lightsaber taken from him etcetc... he lives with Padme happy... they just kind of live under the protection of the Order... things are peaceful, happy, there's just sort of a life there because he gave up his sword... The story had a light-hearted, happy tone to it, building up to a happy ending, the whole thing was meant to be happy but you had me almost in tears. It's an AU I'd love to see written and complete. It's one of the more intense things I've ever faced: something that ends up happy that still makes me emotional. This is from a dark reader/writer. I love the angst, it gives me warm fuzzy feelings. It's these sort of things that break me. It was sad in a happy, creepy sort of way. O_o There were a few mistakes, etc... other than that... yeah. Why couldn't it have ended this way instead??!! Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 I dunno... I wrote it at three in the morning. And actually, I know exactly what you're talking about with the switched emotions for angst and happy. Yeah. I actually started to not like it as much myself after that part. But I thought maybe it was cause it was three in the morning... and actually, I had to rush through the last part of it because I had to be somewhere at 7:15 this morning. XP Uy. Yeah, I thought once about doing a full-length of this sort of thing, but I saw it done poorly by way too many people on FFN. It sorta messed up the idea of a long one for me. I dunno, maybe someday... Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amidala Skywalker Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I agree--it would have made a good full-length fic, but I really like it how it is. Very funny in parts--especially Luke's whining about giving him the wrong socks and the "eww they're kissing" section. LOL! Nice work! SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dartha Athanth Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Nice heartwarming story! I like how Ani isn't kicked out of the jedi but coexists happily with the Code. the menthol challenge! Hahaha. Darsha Assant turned dark at 2734 posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m80493 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Good Work, but Cngratulations needs an O. Join me on Ilum!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 I have no idea what you're talking about, and am absolutely appalled that you would dare to criticize my spelling! Thank you, Lord, for the edit button! Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth KenObi-Wan Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Yay! I get to comment on your story again! I still love it! This is my signature. You seem to be reading it. Interesting, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Good! I'm glad it holds for your second reading! Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Nice heartwarming story! I like how Ani isn't kicked out of the jedi but coexists happily with the Code. the menthol challenge! Hahaha. Why does EVERYONE do the menthol challenge? Seriously... (dies) Welcome to Fanfic, Darth KenObi-Wan! Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Now, Tiana... What'd you expect when you issued such an impossible, awful challenge word as that? Naturally, everyone would have to do it. Especially me, because I'm like that. Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted June 6, 2008 Share Posted June 6, 2008 Just watch! My NEXT challenge will be: cimmerian, tyromancy, germicide, luxmeter and allantoid! Your FIRST step will be DEFINING them all. (dies) Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted June 6, 2008 Author Share Posted June 6, 2008 My setting will be the Coruscant Interplanetary Basic Spelling Bee... Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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