Dartha Athanth

Dang it all you guys made me think there was an update when I saw the thread status.

I shall now attempt to do some crit, but feel free to ignore it because of the rust building up along my joints. Very nice, I like the "Nature's bell" bit, but just remember the apostrophe. One thing that just jumps out here is the "of the" "on the" "of the". Maybe try reducing the number of 'the's (this sentence isn't a very good example of that I know ) i.e. Perhaps "The moon's eerie glow". And maybe add qualifiers in the place of 'the's, like "thick fog" "soupy fog" (yum). Very nice imagery though. And I haven't been to the southern hemisphere in forevveeerrr. Miss your poems too! More!! I actually remember the Children of summer one.

Is this a guilt trip for people who said they would complete stories and never did (so far >.<)? PPPP Hi Peepz

I see the paragraph in my head and I put it down.

^ | What he said. However, (to me at least) Deus Ex machina also means something like a forced ending when the author gets too lazy to think up a decent plot... (Like the Pain arc in Naruto. Geez.....) I don't think miracles in stories have to be advertised as "OMG IT'S A MEERAKLE!" to be a miracle. "必然だ！" (There are no coincidences) in the words of xxxHolic. Like um the lightning saving Luffy on the execution platform in Loguetown. No explanation after 400 chapters of it (yet), but readers just accepted it. Of course the reverse is true... if a character stands up and goes "Muahahahhahhaha I planned it all" it can get irritating and readers sometimes don't buy that, but still it depends on the skill of the writer, i suppose. (Worked for me in Death Note, but not in Bleach.) Ok, I've been reading too much manga lately.... >.<

LOL. I like the way you draw your foliage!! Steampunk is pretty cool to draw. Hmm maybe the confusion could be helped with more use of their names or was it intentional?

oops. 日本語わ？

>.< Mi dispiace, io ho dimenticato. Io sempre penso J.Net è Facebook. Non, tu hai abiti in Messico! 哈哈， 以后我写唐诗还比较好啦。。。。 （我放棄了。。。 我沒別的語言了。）

Tiana: No I think it's because the Romans conquered most of Europe... most Romantic languages are similar because they are latinate, though English has quite a bit of Germanic influence as well. Thanks for reading again!

Il Signore Ar-Pharazon: Tu non hai capisci italiano?! L'insano!! La Signora Amidala Cielo-Camminatrice: Grazie! Io non lo so e Francese, o l'altro lingue romantiche.

For fun and to help me in opera singing! Prob switching to japanese next year though because it's the language that my family speaks the third most.... And yes, I forgot the word for desert so i just wrote forest. >.<. My teacher's comments were "molto creattivo!" Thanks for reading!

Well obviously college level classes don't allow for these kinds of essays anymore but since it's a beginning italian class, I can return to elementary school once more, albeit in a different language... Original italian text: Da bambino, Darth Vader era avventuroso. Perchè lui viveva nella foresta noiosa, ogni giorno, lui usciva di solito, prendeva un'aereo dei planeti differenti. Mentre Darth Vader telefonava Obi-Wan Kenobi, lei madre ho comprato un'aereo nuovo per Vader! Vader era sorpriso e allegro. Il sabato, Darth Vader visitava l'Emperor. Un giorno, l'Emperor ho detto: "Io ho avuto un preso per te, è l'aereo grande, si chiamava "Il Stella Morte"." Dopo, Darth Vader amava il Emperor. Lui madre e Obi-Wan Kenobi erano triste. (Somewhat translated) When he was young, Darth Vader was adventurous. Because he lived in a boring forest, everyday, he would always go out, and take an aeroplane to the different planets. While Darth Vader was talking on the phone with Obi-Wan Kenobi, his mother bought a new aeroplane for him! Vader was surprised and happy. Every Saturday, Darth Vader would visit the Emperor. One day, the Emperor said: "I have a present for you - it is the big aeroplane which is called "The Death Star!". After that, Darth Vader loved the Emperor. His mother and Obi-Wan Kenobi were sad.[list=]

Well the last bit was certainly more attnetion grabbing and a cliffhanger. The only think that irks me now is "a thousand yards". A thousand yards is too mcuh for simple directions! like "an hour or so walking distance" sounds nearer than it does.

Your exchange poem has more resonance now for me as I now have a lot of friends who are experiencing exchange withdrawal. I don't think they learnt a lot though... they played a bit too much, haha. I like this line cos of the pause that hints that the earth and the sun are the experience not something to be experienced. Yay Natty nat!

WHOA. AWESOME. BUt what about your other webcomic?