fuzzy_ewok

From a coded transmission from "El Presidente" Willet Wolly to North Raxian General Kim-Jong Wok on Raxus Prime: The rest of the encoded message details battle plans and procedures for the communist take over of Raxus Prime, as well as dicussion of "BCs for SCUD use".

Amid the desolate sectors of the environmentally dead industrial world of Raxus Prime, a revolution stirs, one arm of a great revolution threatening to sweep the galaxy. Though most of the world was in decay, small pockets of factories and manufacturing struggled for life. The workers of the ruined world gather, listening to an Ewok speaker by the name of Kim-Jong Wok. The pale, almost yellow furred Ewok speaks out, focusing on the crowd with his narrow, slitted eyes. His translated speech comes out as follows. "For too long you have suffered under these capitalist oppressors! What are you left with? A dead world and barely a living wage. Even now, half way across this sphere, SIA (Sith Intelligence Agency) operatives threaten to enslave you further, if that is even possible. You toil in the factories, yet... who keeps the gold, leaving you with the brass? You can tell your bourgoise masters to kiss your ***!!! I am Kim-Jong Wok, a represenative of the UEER. If you pledge support to our communist cause, then we will supply Raxus Prime with what she needs to be an independent communist state under the UEER's protection. We will oppose Coruscant. We will oppose SIA plots and above all we will oppose capitalism for the sake of a utopian system where you, yes, you, my fellow workers and comrades may control the means of production. When the fruits of your first five year plan are reaped we will show the galaxy how the UEER and communism is a force to be reckoned with." Kim-Jong waves a blaster rifle in one hand and a bloody spear with the red hammer and sickle flag of the Ewok communists. A great Huzzah! comes from the crowd. "Workers of the galaxy unite and throw off your chains! The communist revolution is at hand!" Kim-Jong Wok's translation states, raising his fist. At that the movement has cemented itself, burrowing into the hearts of the mercilessly oppressed prolateriate. Just as Dooku, ages ago started his rebellion here, so too would El Presidente Willet Wolly's under the watchful eye of his chief lieutenant. By the end of the month, most of Raxus Prime is under communist control with its millions and millions, approaching billions of residents approving the planet's status as UEER allies. The SIA's Temple is sealed off in its own region, as of yet unpenetrated, but landing has been made difficult. Underground cells swarm the place as terrorist strikes are carried out against SIA collaboraters and factory owners.

The moment the Sith's ship approached his HQ, Willet had already fled. Bravery was good for some, but cowardice had it's virtues as well. Even still, he can see his headquarters erupt into a ball of flame and notices something firey caught onto the tail of Gene's ship. Wondering what the hell that is, El Presidente Willet ducks and covers into a Viet-Wok tunnel while destruction rains above. Willet, safe deep in the Viet-Wok's underground maze, and safetly hidden, orders the rebuilding of defenses. Surrounded by his fellow Ewok's, he gives a thrilling speech. "Yub Yub! HATA MUT!" Though brief, even by his standards the inner meaning lost naught on translation. [Translation: It appears SIA (Sith Intelligence Agency) assassins tried to kill me. The fools! The SIA are welcome to try as they like to kill me, but I, El Presidente Willet will not be killed. The Communist cause will live on. SIA spies will be rooted out and destroyed. Long live Mother Endor! Long live the UEER!] ***** As that firey object, clinging to Gene's ship feels the oxygen vanish out of his lungs, Viet-Wok Private Pickens hangs onto the tail of Gene's ship, found when the explosion propelled him into the air. The smell of his own burning hair assaults his lungs. Realizing he is mortally wounded, he gives out a small speech, pulling out a shiny, blinking sphere, stating the following. [Translation: For my mother and father! For my brothers and sisters! For the tribe and good of Mother Endor! For El Presidente Supreme Commander Willet and for the UEER, I give my life for the communist cause!] In Ewok it's a bit less poetic. "For Allah!" he cries aloud. Pickens activates the thermal detonator in his hands and in a blinding flash, him, Gene, and Gene's ship are consumed in the thermonuclear explosion, sweeping over them and sending scattering their ashes into Endor's atmosphere where they burn up again. ***** That evening a memorial service is held for Privet "Fur-Slim" Pickens, and his noble sacrifice.

Willet quickly rolls aside, missing a heavy tree that threatened to crush him flat. Cursing he using a pair of thermal bionoculars to follow Gene into the woods, getting a read out on his underground tunnel, and the miraculous ship which should have ((ahem)) been destroyed on landing. Oh well. Chittering to himself, Willet pulls out an axe and gets to work. Several trap tunnels are set off by the mere use of bows and arrows, trapping them all in. Still warry of Gene's ship and the deadly trap awaiting them, Willet sets up a plan to destroy his ship and him in one fells swoop. A giant crossbow is made, set to fire an entire tree with enough force to level a Coruscant Tower. The tree is hollowed and filled with a particular bomb, designed to bypass Gene's security measures. The wood is soaked in water, moistened to the point where it won't really catch fire. It's sheer mass and probable acceleration would make force shunting it aside impossible to even a Sith Master. A careful bit of math and planning is done, and the giant bolt, about as big as Gene's ship, is launched into the air. Viet-Wok Private Pickens, waving a cowboy hat, rides the giant tree as it arcs up and shoots downward, aiming it's pointed tip at Gene's ship. Before any engines could activate, any missiles or lasers could fire, the log's payload goes off and a massive EMP field shuts down everything in the area- the ship, its defenses, and Gene's Battle Suit, turning it into useless weight, and finally even his nanotech are shut down. In short, things do NOT look good for him and he is up a major creek, seemingly with out a paddel. The giant wooden stake of death plunges downward, sheering through the ship, setting it off into a ball of flame. Private Pickens is propelled into the air, a firey ball of fur. Elsewhere on Endor, El Presidente Willet lights up a cigar and leans back in his chair, ajusting his military uniform and stroking his furry chin. Mission accomplished? He could only hope.

Out of the darkness, a cord shoots out and snags itself around Gene's throat and the unfortunate Sith finds himself lifted off his feet, suddenly dragged by a speederbike off in the distance. He gains many hard bruises and more than a fair share of scraps, cuts, and a thorny twig or two rammed up his butt as the rampant and rogue speeder bike shoots forward, it's accelator pedels welded down and the ignition locked and welded into on. There would be no end to this ride until it crashed or El Presidente Willet achieved his objectives. With Gene looking rawer and rawer every minute, loosing more and more blood, it wouldn't take long. Willet, sitting calmly on his perch, takes out his pretty polly head popper, sets up the scope and draws a bead on the unforunate Sith, determined to take out the man's head.

VIET-WOK REBELS RELEASE NEW VIDEO From the Galactic Associated Press- Endor: El Presidente of the UEER- United Endorian Ewok Socialist Republics, Willet Wolly issued a new propoganda piece for mass consumption following the cleansing of Mother Endor by those "Garnock val hoot! " [Translation: Filthy Sith Capitalist **** **** ****!] to commemorate this victory, the following video was sent out to various governments and Imperial represenatives, leaving many of them speechless. EWOK RALLYING VIDEO

((Please reread my previous couple posts which state defenses against approaching craft being put up and activated. Have a nice flight. )) Sadly, even on his approach to the forest moon, several anti aircraft guns, dropped off by supporters to the Viet-Wok, take aim at Gene's starship. "Club Club Commander!" comes the cry. Willet personally takes aim and fires. The tail end of the Sith's craft erupts into flames as it spirals down to the forest moon. Willet aims another salvo of shots, trying to take out the cockpit. "Huta!" he calls, unleashing the deadly barrage. [Translation: Sith stew for all! Capitalist pigs will regret violating UEER sphere space!"]

((Following 3 days with no posts...)) BOOM! The earth shakes and a vast cloud bellows up to the heavens. El Presidente Willet Wolly, supreme commander of the Viet-Wok, dressed in miltary fatigues, sucks on a big, fat, hand rolled Endorian cigar, watching the siege tunnel collapse and bring down the Sith Temple overhead. The generators short out and the whole mess erupts into one giant ball of flame, killing Sith and slave alike, destroying all remenants of their temple save for a massive creator full of debris. The Viet-Wok Ewok armies are the only sentient beings left on Endor. Willet inhales deeply, blowing smoke out of his nose, suddenly choking and collapsing into a fit of coughing. An aide at his side reassures his fellow comrades that Willet merely wept at the sight of beautiful Mother Endor being purged of the filthy invaders. The final defenses are set up and for now on, the forest moon was a veritile fortress. Anything not Viet-Wok, or in support of would be shot down into a bloody mess. Still, El Presidente Willet, commander of the Viet-Wok cannot rest. They have made a great victory for their cause and tonight was a night for celebration! The Ewoks, despite their small size, can hold a fair amount of liquor. The fact though, that they made the former Sith temple the site of their revelry proves convenient as a few probably overdue it. Sanitation is not really being considered and holes in the ground over what might have been a sacred Sith what-ever serve just as well as one dug in the forest due to the lack of sewers. Willet and several comrads get together in a very heated set of festivities over the ruins, initiating a series of ceremonies that would months later lead to a new generation of Viet-Wok fighters. The next day, Willet is at his treetop village, seated on a seat of skulls and lined with pelts. "Yub yub! Chahuta!" he declares in his shrill, piping voice, stroking his furry mane and smoking his Endorian cigar. [Translation: Yesterday we struck a blow and liberated Mother Endor. Now we must turn to the galaxy to spread the Revolution. We will let it be known that Ewok Red Power has driven out the fearsome Sith. Using the tools of the prolateriate farmer, we drove forth the mighty Imperialists and fell upon them. Our great ideals will create a Union of Ewok Endorian Socialists Republics- the UEER as the heathens translate it. We will preach word of the revolution to the working classes. Long live Mother Endor! Long live the Viet-Wok and the UEER!] "Huta Willet Huta Makhata! Ninel Nilats Oam!" cries the crowd, raising weapons from slings and spears to blaster rifles. [Translation: Hail Willet! Hail the Viet-Wok! Long live the UEER!] The next few days mark a transition for the Ewok culture on Endor. A few wealthy tribal leaders are found guilty of being "capitalist subversives" and are sent to cigar rolling and re-education camps. Much wealth is redistrubituted and the people rejoyce. One Ewok points out that the tribes did things in common for years and this plan is nothing new. Branded an enemy of the state, he was clubed and skinned. The people rejoyced. Out of the ruins of the Sith Temple, a giant statue of Willet Wolly, El Presidente of the Viet-Wok is erected, with the words: "Club Club Commander!" inscribed at the base of the statue. It was at least a week before it was pointed out that the Ewoks were illiterate and at that point the words were sandblasted off. By that time, a few small shuttles left the Forest Moon, taking off for parts unknown, spreading the word of the Viet-Wok, threatening to shake the galaxy to from rim to core.

Willet squeals with glee, seeing all the pretty and beautiful weapons of death and destruction. Happy, he starts setting up some surprises to deal with incoming ships, so any personal fighter approaching certain areas of the planet would get cut down in a hail of laser fire. As he assembles, scattering his troops and supplies all over the forest moon, automated plans for the vast tunnel under the temple commenses, giving things there less than a five minutes to come to a head. Today Endor, tomorrow the galaxy.

Willet, having completed and rigged the tunnel, scampers out of them back into the Endorian forest, waiting for the explosive results of his actions. The old principle of the medieval siege tunnel, used to bring down the wall of an enemy castle still held in check. Though Willet was small, the Viet-Wok never did anything small itself. For taking down something bigger than a wall, like a building, you need something bigger than an ordinary tunnel to be dug into the earth right under the invader's new building, holding up it's very foundations. If the thick, redwood sized supports were to collapse, be incinerated, or destroyed, that undermining tunnel that Willet labored so long on would be destroyed. Well, que sera sera- and if worse comes to worse he could get his Polly out again and try to pop a few heads.

We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in a mine the whole day through To dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we like to do Chairman Willet "Wicked- Angelos del Muerto" Wolly of the Viet-Wok raises a bloodstained pick axe as he delves deeper under Endor. It ain't no trick To get rich quick If you dig dig dig With a shovel or a pick In a mine (In a mine) In a mine (In a mine) The resounding chorus comes from a handful of a half dozen other Ewoks, loyal to the doctrine espoused by Willet in his nearly one man war on all foreigners on the Forest Moon. Where a million diamonds Shine No diamonds shine, save the brilliant strategy of a plan coming to fruition. Willet keeps on digging and digging, going deeper and deeper to the point where the air is hot from the thermal energies trapped below. We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig from early morn to night We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig up everything in sight Days have passed and the vast tunnel shoots into great underground galleries, it's supports held by whole trees carefully hidden, cut down, and covertly concealed, supporting the tunnel with no worries of cave in. We dig up diamonds By the score A thousand rubies Sometimes more We don't know what we dig them for We dig dig digga dig dig Eventually the tunnet reaches its lowest point and work begins spreading forward and out as the giant timbers hold up the vast fields of earth above in the tradition of mideval siege tunneling. Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho! Hi ho! Willet, frothing at the mouth, savors as he gets to expend his precious cargo. Planned for a Yule bombing of the Jedi on Dagobah, his plans were... delayed. Now he would expend his resources on a glorious plan to purge the infidel capitalists as he saw them. Hi ho, Hi ho It's home from work we go Hi ho, Hi ho, Hi ho "Yub Yub! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! " Hi ho, Hi ho It's home from work we go (whistles) Hi ho, Hi ho (more whistles) [Translation: BAD GUYS GO BOOOOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Die! Die! Die! Hehehe!] Hi ho, Hi ho Hi ho, Hi ho Hi ho, Hi ho Hi ho, Hum Frothing at the mouth, the rabid little Ewok stumbles as he pushes a cartful of his old purchases from the Galactic Gunshop along the tunnel's tied track, singing a children's song as he completates the wonders and joys of murder and genocide. Hi ho, Hi ho It's home from work we go (whistles) Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho

Ironically, even as the Sith tore up the precious Endorian forest to delve into the earth, Willet too begins his own underworks with the Viet-Wok. Wearing a wide brimmed, conical straw hat, the Ewok ringleader commands two of his loyal subordinates, dressed in military fatigues. The rhymthmic sound of shovels hitting dirt and rock can be heard as their own tunneling plans commence. "Huta! Yub Yub! OAM NINNEL NILATS-Wok!" Willet commands. [Translation: Dig faster! For the glorious revolution of the Viet-Wok! Dig! We will skin those heathen maggots and dine on their capitalist flesh!] One of the Ewoks yowls out, a large boulder the size of a watermellon landing on his left foot. Clutching his furry paw, the Ewok subordinate hops up and down, clutching his paw. " YATA!!!" [Translation: %#*) $&*()@& %&@ (&)^! rock! I shall split you in two like the head of a newborn human defiler child!] Willet quickly restrains his comrade, and work continues on their tunnel as it delves down deep, deep under the earth, supported by giant trees from the inner forest. Soon the tunnel would be complete and all would be made well. "Club Club Commander!" Willet cackles, raising a staff of human skulls in a rallying chant.

Willet waits and watches at the building progresses, biding his time... Before the slaves can complete the work on the defensive structures- like getting the generator up running fully or powering the shields and ion cannons, many of them begin falling ill. Symptoms include diarreah to vile if not outright painful proportions, cramps, vomiting, seizures, and finally death, leaving behind twisted and grotesque facial expressions and an abominable stench. With in two days, about 90% of the slaves have succumbed to this mysterious illness. The remaining 10% are overcome by an odor of epic stink, and work grinds to a halt. The source, revealed all too late, is the food source for the slaves on their extended effort in building the new temple, poisoned by some unknown source some time ago. Elsewhere in the darkness of tunnels running under the Endorian forest, Willet cackles maniacally. The Viet-Wok have struck again.

VIET-WOK REBELS ISSUE MANIFESTO From the Galactic Associated Press- Endor: In breaking news an Ewok, calling himself, "El Angelo del Muerto," later identified as rejected Sith Apprentice "Wicked" Willet Wolly. Issuing the following coat of arms, Willet declared a new movement and faction in galactic politics: Calling himself the ordained leader of the Viet-Wok, the self proclaimed communist overlord of Endor issued a statement declaring for the abolition of private property and a centralized state centered on socialist ideals, challenging Imperial and former new Republic precepts of government. He has threatened to impliment full out guerilla warfare on the forest moon of Endor, eventually spreading it across the galaxy in a red tide of "Marxist ideals and blood." When asked who and what Marx was, Willet shrugged his shoulders then clubed and scalped our first correspondant. After doing so, Willet issued the following statement: "Yub Yub! Chathuhuta mala ruga! Yub Yub! Huta Malag Ragoa! Huta!!!!" [Translation: We will destroy all these capitalists infidels and their false gods. Until our demands are met prepare to face us off on the forest move and where ever else you money grubbing lightside chaging dogs dare show your faces. We, the Viet-Wok will hunt you down, club you and eat your souls! WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE! THE EWOK REVOLUTION IS AT HAND!] At this point Willet tried mauling our camera man to death and we promptly beat it out of there.

"Yub Yub!" Willet cries and fires. [Translation: I will drink your blood you no good bantha poodoo eating nerf herders!] The bullet flies and strikes Gene in his cybernetic eye, shattering it and sending him flying to the ground. Blood and oil start dribbling out of where the cybernetic eye used to be, but outside of the damage to the eye, the splitting headache and fall visited on Starri, he's fine, the mechanical eye catching the bullet before it could splatter his brains. Willet turns tail and quickly vanishes into a small underground hole a foot wide under a log and into a Viet Kong style system of tunnels, making his escape for now.

Ruffling around in the dense underbrush of the Endorian forest, Willet lets out a small, feral growl. So many noisy visitors afoot in HIS forest. The homocidal little furball clutches his Pretty Polly, the Head Popper as he shuffles through, commando style, hiding himself among the foliage. Taking aim with his beloved Polly- a really big sniper rifle, the little Ewok tries drawing a bead on one of the newcomers a hundred or so yards distant. " Hee Hee!" he whispers just under his breath.

Stealing a speeder bike, Willet takes a lighted torch and starts racing through the forest moon, waving his "firey stick of bright shiney death" around and lighting scores of trees on fire as he zooms around. "Burn! Burn! Mwahahahaha!" cries Willet happily, a trail of bloody scalps hanging off his belt, flying behind him. By bad luck and pure coincidence- this happens to be in the area by Nom and Mathis which is soon all ablaze.

Through the shadows a small, furry cute figure hobbles among the forest, skipping and waving around a severed Jedi leg and a three foot giant battle axe. "Club Club Commander! Hee hee hee!" As he dances a few specks of blood fly off the axe, accenting the tail of scalps dangling from Willet's belt.

(( Oh well. Good fight anyways.))

The Ewok continues his deadly kamekaze run. "HEE HEE HEE... Eh? EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Willet finds himself flying through the air and feels a sharp sensation enter his chest right where his black little heart should be. Impilation is not what takes him, but his own kamekaze blast of thermal detonators on his person, which wipe out everything in a 20 meter radius from the Ewok in a flash, killing those unfortunate enough not to have force chucked the dying monster far away with the time remaining. ((Guess we'll be back in 3 days gentlemen. Cya all then.))

A flaming torch wielding a 3 foot axe charges out of the wreckage, beeping like crazy and covered in small pouches as the Ewok charges Raynuk and Sabertooth. After activating his explosives in the ruined ship and loading them up, the Ewok found himself thrown out of the open cockpit and catching himself ontop of the damaged Star Viper, using the limits of his feeble darkside powers to cushion the blow. Already mortally wounded and lit up like a X-Mas tree, the burning Ewok charges, aiming to cleave the Sith Master in two in a famous Willet style Kamekaze death charge with his axe.

Willet sees the lightsaber dart up and lodge itself into the engines. Deciding on a course of action, Willet springs into the attack. Holstering up his thermal detonators and a blaster or two, Willet charges full speed into a collision course with Raynuk's ship, arcing to fall right on top of it. The ship's cockpit snaps open and Willet giggles as he rams full speed into the ship. At the last second, the unfortunate Willet realizes this was a bad move. "Uh oh..." SMASH! BOOOM! The damaged X Wing explodes into the ship. The ball of fire consumes the star viper, cutting it in half, leaving on the shell of the front cockpit as it plumets with its rider to the surface, Sabertooth falling out of the back of the ship and on fire. Raynuk has a lovely view of the ground as he plumets towards it in his burning seat.

After a dissapointing demise on Corusscant, failing to blow up an ophanage, Willet had been reborn, stealing an new X-Wing and as a result burying a large knife into the former owner. With the words "Club! Club!" Written on the side, Willet had made his way to Acrid for one reason and one reason alone: To kill and do a damn fine job doing it. So it when upon following another ship down into the atmosphere to shoot it down, he saw it savagely attack another ship. Eyes alight, the Ewok gives a battle cry: "HUTA! " [Translation: Death to the mortals!] With that, he opens fire on the battered Star Viper, two photon torpedos screaching past and nailing the ship, battering past the shielding and impacting the rear of the ship with surprise attack while its pilot concentrated on tearing apart the original ship Willet intended to kill. The engines are completely shot causing the ship to fall to the surface and a large hole the size of a child is torn in the ship's hull, making it completely unspace worthy until formal repairs are made- the damaged parts destroyed by the explosion.

((As a token of good will and since it's the holidays, I'll withdraw my attack for an indefinite period, but I'll be back in the not to distant future, so consider this fair warning as well.))

((Correct me if I'm wrong but you were an admin exclusively for working the site colors and the scrapbook and not given authority in regards to modding forums. Secondly, no story is completely exclusive to a set of characters and no faction is inviable to a valid RP post. Your actions are tainted with self interest and questionable and I would ask another Admin to rule on this.))