Ilum

[Darth Furion]

It was strange. For miles now Julio had walked from shuttle into the vast expanse of the frozen dessert. His destination, the crystal temple once cared for by the Jedi. Now it was nothing but a part of the landscape, consumed in the ever persistent blizzard and some time of neglect. It would be here that he would continue his training. His time on Csilla had taught him much, but with every lesson learned, two more questions would arise. He needed time to collect his thoughts and meditate, without distractions or interference. Sure, the Jedi may return at some point for their temple, but if they hadn't yet, they likely weren't going to anytime soon. From what he had gathered from the holonet during his trip to Ilum, the galaxy's leaders were gathered for some form of peace talks, which should have been enough to keep the Jedi busy for a while, at least the Jedi that made the decisions.

 

The sun had begun set, and the real brutality of nature began to set in. Julio let a bitter curse fall from his lips as he tightened his thick jacket. For all his physical strength and knowledge of the force, he was still a man, and needed rest and heat like any other. Julio was sure that if he focused he could push himself a little bit further before the frigid wind began to cut too deeply, but it wouldn't be enough to reach the temple. He needed to find shelter, but all he could see in the slowly dimming white haze was an empty plane of endless snow and a small outcropping of rolling hills to the west, about a mile or two off course to the crystal temple. With dusk wrapping around the horizon, and the night not far behind, the temperature would be dropping rapidly any moment now. The hills were his only option for refuge. Pulling his coat tighter around his body, Julio began to march through the rising plane to the hills. He wasn't sure what it was exactly he expected to find, but anything was better than being left out in the open, exposed to the elements.

 

After an hour of forcing himself to push on, Julio could begin to see the outline of what appeared to be a cave, but once he got closer he stopped dead in his tracks, despite the cold wind cutting right through him. There was something...different about the cave ahead. Something dark and forgotten, impressed upon the hidden refuge through nothing but sheer dominance and power. Julio stood for a long while outside the cave, probing and scanning in an increasingly futile attempt at understanding the phenomenon.

 

It's strange. The corruption of this place feels as if has been overlooked, but it could not have been here long with the Jedi's temple not far away. They haven't been away from it for that long.

 

When his powers of perception had come full circle and failed him completely another jagged breeze made another pass through his core, bringing his mortality back to the front of his mind. Julio pulled himself together and marched on to the cave. Whatever the disturbance was, he would have to deal with it. Curses fell dead to the wind as he trudged through the snow, hating himself for his caution. In the chance that there were still people within the temple, Julio had landed his ship far beyond the scanner range of the temple. Now he figured he would have rather landed directly and dealt with the occupants as he met them.

 

Once inside, Julio stopped dead in his tracks. The walls were scarred with a malice unknown to the young Sith, blackened utterances skittering along the surface, vying for passage through his very essence. This was an insatiable darkness, wrapped within its own toiling power like a blade made by only the finest of craftsmen. He moved to the near wall and stretched his armored glove to the wall. The frostbitten wall seemed to almost stretch out toward him, but when he twisted his hand along the wall the frost turned into a dark mist, flowing and bending along the glove as if they were of the same stock. Moving far before he thought, Julio turned on a heel and dropped low like predator, muscles tensed and ready for aggression. There was something there, toward the back of the cave, and his bright golden eyes had locked on to the creature's very own.

[Ason Antilles]

Two blazing suns appraised the cave, the amber liquid which rolled over them flowing until the twin stars found what had peaked their interest. At the discovery of that presence, those pools ebbed into a stagnant glare, as though the air had frozen them in place. From amid the blackness shone two retaliating phenomena, one an orb of fire burning in protest of the environment, the other an apathetic green paling in acceptance of it. These two eyes grew within the vision of the man as the menace advanced toward him, though one would mark that their progression was perfectly straight and unmarked by the tottering back and forth that often resulted from walking. Also noted would be the lack of the crunch of snow that had escorted the weary man into the abyss.

 

Just as the eyes grew to startling proportion, just as they were about to swallow the foreign human in their liquid tongues of flame and frosted blades of green, bright yellow lights exorcised the capacious cavern of its darkness and the glare of optical receptors flooded the room with an unyielding wave of inhumanity. These artificial beings, with their eyes at their highest setting, soon lit other parts of their body to a level that filled in the gaps of perception for the physical sight of both beings not graced with the perfect night vision of these metallic predators.

 

”

[Darth Furion]

A single pulse of fear escaped his furnace heart at the sound of his own name. The silent humming of his forgotten past did not stir or rekindle with the stranger's voice but merely remained beneath the surface, its inanimate lingering nothing more than a reminder of nothing. The man before him was unknown, but called upon him like an old friend. Though the droids surrounding the cavernous room showed no signs of aggression or armament, Julio couldn't help but feel on edge. Why would one need so many droids out here? How did he even get here?

 

"No..." He whispered apprehensively, not sure how much he should give the creature. As the two remained locked in silence, Julio's gaze remained on the stranger, still looking for any hint of violent intent. Still trying to remain still and fully grasp the possibilities this new development presented, he began to notice his right arm quivering. No, not his arm, but his gauntlet. It wasn't a physical shiver that ran along the cool dark grey metal, but some sort of dark, ethereal miasma, dancing on the surface of the glove as if it belonged. Another beat of panic rebelliously struck through him. Did the substance cling to the gauntlet when he arrogantly touched the wall despite the possibilities? It couldn't have been, else his boots and long flowing coat would have been equally tainted by the scorched floor. They were somehow of the same material, or rather of the same origin.

 

"You made this for me, didn't you?"

[Ason Antilles]

”

[Darth Furion]

The phrase was such a simple one. Take what is yours. Shouldn't life be as easy? But then one gets lost in the confusion of what the idea of ownership really meant. Just because you owned something, did that mean you deserved to have it? The words left lingering in his mind by the unknown benefactor had not gone unnoticed by the apprentice. Where words without a voice would normally cause unrest in some, Julio had been learning the ways of the mind lately. It was not as if the words were forced through the various protections he held in his mind, but rather placed in a space of conscious stillness where he and only he would look. He, too, knew how to communicate in such a fashion, but had decided against displaying the skill. He was still unsure exactly how much about himself he should expose.

 

Fluttering ever so slightly in the still air before him the piece of cloth held fast against the natural forces, vexing the young apprentice with it's seemingly perpetual aura of mystery and unrest. Silently probing the gift as he would anything else in the cave, Julio couldn't help but admire the craftsmanship. Lingering on the surface was a sort of ominous vapor, toiling and twisting upon itself with no particular direction or purpose. Even in his ineptitude, the young apprentice could tell that the elegantly crafted cloth held great power within, yet it remained trapped, waiting for someone to seize its power as their own and command it as they see fit. It was a tool, nothing more. A powerful tool, yes, but still a tool. Why would this dark transient offer a novice like him such a prestigious gift? The only thought consistently returning to the front of his mind was that they must have known each other at some point. It must have been some sort of gift for something he had done previously, or a commission he had requested in his time prior to his memory loss. The possibilities were endless, especially when dealing with another from the order. As little as Julio had actually interacted with other Sith in his short time as Faust's apprentice, even still he was familiar with the underhanded tactics of his brethren.

 

But what was he to do? If the man had been skilled enough to craft such a powerful tool, then he was certainly strong enough to break the young apprentice at a whim. Of course he would have to take the cloak, and with it a big slice of humble pie. The man had information, and the matter of extracting it had become the first and foremost concern in Julio's mind. Whether it be the key to unlocking his past or just another minute piece to the puzzle, he had to have it. Stretching his gauntlet shrouded arm out, he ran his fingers along the smooth fabric, watching as the clouded scene along the surface swayed and parted with his touch. The problem was he couldn't just come out and ask the stranger questions and expect answers. Trust needed to be earned, at least he thought it would. In the chance that the two had known each other extensively before the incident, any attempt at formality might have been misinterpreted as a passive form of manipulation. Never the less, he had to do something before his stalled action began to rise suspicion in his newly begotten acquaintance. Stepping forward to get a better hold on the floating gift, Julio reached out and grabbed it softly with both hands, guiding it down until it rested gently in his arms.

 

"Thank you..." He said, his eyes locked on the garment. His voice was distant, his concentration seemingly rested on the gift while his mind sped through the possible routes to take the conversation. "I'm sorry I don't recall you," He finally spilled out, forcing himself into the familiar pattern of an apologetic amnesiac. "But, could you tell me, about myself that is? A-anything would help." Even in his visibly diminished position, Julio could not help but feel hesitant in asking.

[Jamella Darkblade]

((excuse this post entirely >_< found out different information))

[Ason Antilles]

((Sorry 4 the wait and ridiculously low quality. Life's been hectic... again

 

I reserve my right to edit without change of content so this post doesn't look so pathetic))

 

"No."

 

The young man would have to find his own way in his own time. And with that, the droids flickered off, and everything disappeared. Like a ghost in the night, he vanished.

[ForceFusion]

((Back from vacation! Will post more consistently now.))

 

The ship carrying Aerec, Darex, and Darla dropped out of hyperspace. The jolt interrupted a long silence that had come after Darla's questions to Aerec. There was...a lot to talk about. And they would talk about it, indeed. But, it seemed that conversation would be slightly delayed. "I guess we'll have this talk later," he said with a half smile.

 

When they landed, Aerec did not at first realize where they were. He had never set foot on the cold and snowy planet, but he recognized something about it in the Force. He'd felt it before...though it had felt very different.

 

A memory popped up...a horrible one. Full of pain and anguish and death haunting the void of space.

 

Ilum.

 

Aerec gaped. Finally he managed a half-sentence. "Darex...what's...?"

[ObliviousKnight]

Armiena's reply came via an encrypted Holonet transmission. Bounced off a number of relays, it was impossible to tell where the message originated.

 

((Sorry bout that. It's been a terrible couple of weeks.))

[Darex Trevelian]

Darex let a slow grin play over his face when Aerec realized where they were. "Do you remember when we crashed on Mon Calamari, I was acting strange? There was a surge in the Force, a surge of life restored that is so different than the death and destruction the galaxy has been feeling lately."

 

He paused. "During our time apart, I investigated the source of that feeling, and found that Ilum had been remade. Acutally," he said, scratching his beard, "I don't think remade quite fits. The Arach'tar, who were the ones that destroyed Ilum, somehow brought it back exactly the way it was before they destroyed it when they left the galaxy defeated. No one knows how to explain it. All we know is that everything was exactly how it was at the moment of the planet's destruction."

 

He smiled again. "So you see, the horrible things that we witness are sometimes reversed by the will of the Force. Death, though it seems permanent, is constantly shifting, and new life is being created where death reigned before. The fact that the planet has been restored completely is one reason I wanted to bring you back here. The other is to finish the quest that all of these events were sparked by...to finally get you some lightsaber crystals."

 

Darex handed Aerec a coat. "If you want to continue your Jedi training, this is your next step. If not, then you're free to stay on the ship. I must warn you, though, if you decide to search out crystals. The caves on this planet in which the crystals grow are very strong in the Force. It is impossible to travel in them without being confronted by visions. No Jedi comes out the same person as they were when they went in, and it is for that reason that many Jedi Masters consider the finding of crystals and building of a lightsaber to be as difficult as a trial for knighthood."

 

He remembered very clearly all of the visions he had experienced while on this planet over the years. They had been difficult to go through, as he had had to face parts of himself that he didn't like or hadn't even known existed. He knew this would be just as changing of a time for Aerec. "Do you have any questions for me, padawan?"

 

His comm buzzed at that moment, and he checked it. It was Armiena's response, and he chuckled at the irony that she was on her way to Gala. I suppose we'll just have to go back after Aerec is done.

[Deton]

Outpost T-441 was now in order. It is an an Imperial checkpoint fixed in orbit around the planet Ilum. It is a XQ6 Platform that was designed by the Telgorn Corporation.

 

Navigation buoys several kilometers from the platform marked hyperspace exit points. Following the Battle over Ilum, Outpost T-441 acts as an intercept point to catch fleeing enemy starships.

 

Outpost T-441 serves as Imperial customs stations, tasked with guarding major hyperspace lanes and bringing order to the sector.

 

 

The IPV-1 System Patrol Craft, also known as the Imperial patrol vehicle or IPV-1 corvette, is the standard system security and customs vessel. There are two accompanying this station, code name is classified.

 

There are Six twin turbolaser turrets, a concussion missile launcher positioned at the tip of its underside, and six laser cannons used as its defense. The three squadrons of tie fighters allocated to this facility bring the number of Predator-class fighter star fighters to twenty four as the last squadron area is allocated to be a bomber squadron.

 

Additionally there are two TIE Staging Areas attached to this station though not physically. Each one maintains the ability to completely resupply the utter loss of every single predator-class fighter in a Pellaeon-class. Bringing their combined total to a little under 100. They maintain a perpendicular orbit to themselves and the outpost. The Entire Ilum operation coordinates with the Base garrison down below. Set protocols are in place to alert the others when, a loss of communication is down, as they are entwined through a specially set up network, that they can all patch into, while maintaining completely independent systems. This operation also stays with in constant contact of the defense network, and is monitored for distress given its history. Shipments come into the system from an undisclosed location, and on a complex periodic time schedule.

 

 

The star destroyer still in system moved toward an exit point. It wasn't leaving. Not just yet. It was simply sitting on a hyperspace lane, adding a little back bone to the newly created outpost until, the need for it no longer existed.

[ForceFusion]

Aerec donned the coat. He stood, knee deep in snow, in awe. Amazement. Fear. The galaxy...simply did not make sense sometimes.

 

Darex spoke of visions. Instinctively, Aerec wanted to hide. He did not want to confront any visions. Faust had made his life a nightmare with a few simple visions. And there was such a demon in Aerec's past now...what visions would haunt him now.

 

But he knew...he knew...that he must. Ilum had been brought back to life. For Aerec. It seemed as though the planet had been re-made just for him. This planet, whose destruction had so drastically altered the course of Aerec's life, now would do so again, spinning peacefully on its axis as it was supposed to.

 

"Do you have any questions for me, padawan?" Darex asked.

 

Yes. A thousand.

 

But he didn't ask them. He didn't even look at Darex. He just stood, knee deep in snow, throat deep in fear, and waited.

 

For the strength.

 

And when it came, he walked. Still without looking back. Trudging, knee deep in snow, Aerec made his way to the caves he saw some ways off. It was freezing.

 

He felt the Force grow stronger, as Darex had said it would. That gave him some warmth. But it also made images dance in his head of the vision he would confront.

 

The mouth of the cave provided some protection from Ilum's fierce wind. However, the tall inches of snow did not dive off. The gusts must have blown much of it in over time. As he got deeper, the snow receded, slowly.

 

The Force grew stronger as the snow grew more shallow. Finally, he stepped onto solid stone for the first time on the planet, deep within the darkness of the cave. The only light came from the crystals that he was seeking. But he knew, for some reason, that he should not choose a crystal until he'd survived his visions.

 

"Fate does strange things to test us you know." It was Darla's voice. It was something she'd said in transit that Aerec hadn't gotten a chance to answer. He turned to see her walking on the snow he'd just come through. She was not sinking. Not real.

 

"I guess so."

 

She was resonating like she didn't in real life. Fully connected to the Force. Fully made of the Force. Or Aerec's mind. She was completely disgusted with him. It all came off her in the Force, as clear as real words she hadn't spoken, wouldn't speak. She did not understand him. She could not fathom a man who would torture and kill someone else, who had loved the power. This woman, who had a strong darkness of her own, was sickened by Aerec's evil.

 

She dropped her head, her eyes retreating from his. They'd once been friends. She had offered him wisdom on more than one occasion. Now she could not meet his gaze.

 

He was expecting something more from the confrontation. But he could not have prepared himself for what the vision showed him.

 

Her gaze did not come back up. After a time, she simply walked away, her head still hung. Darla was full of drive. She had suffered through and continued to fight inexplicable amounts of difficulty. But so great was the gap between her and Aerec because of what Aerec had done that she...walked away from their friendship.

 

It was crippling. Paralyzing. He stared for a long time at where he image had finally faded away.

 

"No Jedi comes out the same person as they were when they came in." This time, it was Darex's voice and image that appeared in front of him, walking from where Darla had faded. His words were those from outside the cave, just a few hours before. They were probably words Aerec should've paid more attention to. "Walk with me for a moment, Aerec," the Jedi Master beckoned.

 

He stood, something he wasn't sure he was able to do. "The problem is, Darex," Aerec began, fully aware that he was talking to himself, "is that I'm not sure I'm a Jedi. I'm not sure I've ever been a Jedi. I don't know what it means to be a Jedi."

 

"Hmm," Darex murmured, contemplative. "The life of a Jedi is not something that can be summed up in one day's lessons, Aerec. A Jedi is constantly learning, constantly changing."

 

"But I strayed off the path of the Jedi. I became a Sith. That can't be part of a Jedi's learning experience, can it?"

 

"Aerec, many powerful and wise Jedi have experienced darkness. Many have taken the mantle of the Sith. Anakin Skywalker did thing more horrible by a million fold than you ever did. Most of his life was dominated by the Sith he became: Darth Vader. But he lived, in the end, as a Jedi. He saved Luke Skywalker and became one with the Force. Without Anakin Skywalker's fall and redemption, the galaxy would be a much different place today."

 

"But what positive influence could my time as Riftor possibly have? The only thing Riftor ever did was torture and kill a few people and help start what might be another civil war."

 

"Aerec, the future is unknown. I can't tell you how you might re-shape this galaxy. All I can tell you is that you can."

 

"But what am I supposed to shape it into? What do the Jedi want to make the galaxy."

 

"The Jedi want peace and justice for all. You know that."

 

"But what does that mean, Darex! Those are just words! I can't see any of it! It doesn't make any sense to me."

 

"That, too, my young padawan, is not something I can show you in one day's lessons. Peace and justice are things that are developed and fought for over lifetimes, generations, millennia, infinity. We all play our part."

 

"Even Faust?"

 

"Even Faust, in his own way. You never know. Faust's actions that so dramatically altered your life may be the most important thing that leads to your stamp on the galaxy. The Force is always wisely in motion."

 

"So you're telling me you can't tell me anything?"

 

"I'm telling you that you can only discover things for yourself. I can act as your guide, counselor, master, and friend. But everything you learn, everything you do, is your own."

 

"Well, damn it, Darex," Aerec said, half-laughing, "that's a lot of pressure!" But Darex was gone. And Aerec's words, humorous as they were intended, echoed off the walls and in his ears.

 

It was a lot of pressure. No more passing the buck. No more blaming his impoverished childhood. No more blaming his lack of luck. No more blaming fate.

 

"Hello, Aerec."

 

This voice was the most familiar, yet most alien of them all. He didn't want to turn to see. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help it.

 

"Riftor."

 

"We meet at last."

 

"I'm not ready for this."

 

((And neither is the writer. Sorry it's taken me so long to post.))

[SithAcolyte]

((OOC: No worries, real life gets in the way of posting sometimes. It's been a little bit the same for me too recently.))

 

Darla sat in silence with Aerec for the rest of their journey to Ilum. He obviously wasn't ready to talk. That was fine. Darla didn't want to push him or make him feel uncomfortable. So she said no more and instead lost herself in her own thoughts.

 

For some Jedi, just the word Sith is a curse. They see the Darkside as the enemy, as nothing but evil. Not a greater part of the Force, not a hidden part of themselves. Perhaps when I was a Sith, focusing on my anger and the ferocious strength it gave me... Perhaps some saw me as I see Aerec now...

 

It was a simple thought, but one that put things into perspective. It was all a question of perspective. Darla may not have killed the innocent, but she had killed the guilty. Who was she to decide who was innocent and who was guilty? At the end of the day, killing was killing regardless of the circumstances.

 

There was so much that she wanted to talk to Aerec about. But he would speak to her when he was ready. For a moment she wished that he had been her padawan. She could have taught him the things that she was never willing to teach Nivana. She could have taught him about anger and hate and how to control them and use them. How to use the darkness without falling into it and becoming it. Wasn't that what she had been so desperate to learn herself all those years ago?

 

She watched as Aerec put on the coat that Darex gave him and braved the blizzard strewn plane. She watched as he seemed to disappear into the whiteness of the landscape.

 

"Are you sure he's ready for this?" Darla turned to Darex, suddenly very aware that the two of them were now alone

[Darex Trevelian]

((No worries, mate ))

 

He watched as Aerec made up his mind to go. As he gathered the strength to face the future, and, Darex hoped, finally come to terms with his past. Until the possible becomes a reality, it is simply a distraction, and Aerec needs to learn that.

 

As the hatch slid shut behind the young man, he heard Darla speak. "Yes, I think so. I think this is something he needs. I've tried to teach him some tough lessons, but he hasn't fully understood them. The Force itself will teach him now. And I think that whoever comes out of that cave, Aerec or Riftor, will be here to stay."

 

It wasn't Darex's own intuition that told him that. It was a feeling that emanated from the Force itself. He knew how much the caves could change a person.

 

He offered Darla a small smile. "How are you taking all of this? Are you recovering from your own experiences? I know you can handle the dark side." He thought back. He had known her briefly when she was fresh from the path of the Sith. "Perhaps Aerec should have been your apprentice. I'm sure you understand where he is right now much better than I do."

[ForceFusion]

"You will never be ready, Aerec Blackwood." Riftor was a mirror image of Aerec, excepting the color of his robes. They shared the same tall, lanky build, the same young but tired features. The same scar.

 

"What would you do to get ready?"

 

"I don't--"

 

"You don't know! Of course you don't!" Riftor's voice was not a yell, but a harsh snapping. It pushed Aerec back within, but he held his footing as courageously as he could. "You don't know what you're doing here, in this cave, with the Jedi, away from me! You don't even know how to take care of yourself! How would you know how to prepare for this moment of terrible truth?"

 

"A Jedi is always learning...I wouldn't expect to be--"

 

"A Jedi? So you're a Jedi now? What would you know about being a Jedi? The most significant thing you've ever done in your life is ruin a man! Some Jedi, you."

 

"That was not me. That was you."

 

"I am you, Aerec! Don't you see that! Doesn't that scar on your face remind you of that every day?"

 

"You are not me! I am not you."

 

"I sure as hell am a part of you, and if you deny that--"

 

"A part, Riftor. A part. That is all."

 

There was a moment of pause. "At least you admit that. And what do you expect to do with that part, young Jedi? The Council has no place for part-Sith in their great plan. Will you try to smother me? Live a lie as you bow to their philosophy and orders? Which, I might add, you don't understand at all."

 

"I don't need to smother anything. You were born of my anger. Anger is natural, but it isn't all that drives us."

 

"Wrong, Aerec. I was not born of your anger. I was born of your need to survive. I may use your anger, but it is not my essence. My essence is exactly the same as yours. When you were on the ropes, at the end of Faust's lightsaber, at the end of your wits, it was me that took over.

 

"So, when a blizzard comes and locks you in this cave without your Master, when you come up against that pack of Gorgodons you were lucky to avoid on your way in, when your life is in danger, then will you ask for my help again?"

 

"I'm strong enough to find my way without your self-loathing and rage, Riftor."

 

"So you say. But what about when you meet Faust again. Oh, I'm sure he's very much alive. What about when he has you at your wits end and you're staring at his weapon, all but defenseless. What about then? Will you call on me then?"

 

"I will not."

 

"Then you will die!"

 

That last word echoed throughout the cavern and faded away into the past. But Riftor still stood challenging Aerec.

 

"So be it," he responded.

 

"So be it? So be it! You would forfeit your life?"

 

"Some things," Aerec answered slowly, controlling his own revelation. It was a frightening phrase t finish. "...are worth dying for."

 

Riftor's expression was incredulous. Aerec could feel the hatred boiling off of the Sith. The response came, filled with venom. "Like what?"

 

"Like staying true to myself."

 

"True to yourself? What does that even mean, Aerec? Are you delusional?"

 

"It means staying true to the principles I adhere to."

 

"And what are those? You're just chanting the Jedi lore now."

 

Aerec cringed, because he knew Riftor already had another response. "Like peace and justice."

 

"Peace and Justice! Ha!" There were short seconds of maddening laughter. "And what, oh wise Jedi Blackwood, the hell does that mean?"

 

"It means..." What does it mean? He hated that he let himself think that question. Riftor was a production of his own mind...could he lack onto that admittance of weakness? "...defending the--"

 

"Oh, please, Aerec, let me stop you right there."

 

"No! It means something! It does!"

 

"Feel free to enlighten me when you figure it out, you fool. But for this century, why don't you and I create our own justice, instead of pandering to the will of some stuffy Jedi Order?"

 

Like you wouldn't have pandered to the will of Faust.

 

"It means people like you never have to exist!" Aerec spat. "You're right. You were born out of my need for survival. But I confronted that survival because of Faust's manipulation, not because of reality. And I confronted that need for survival because when my parents died, everyone on Corellia forgot about me and let Dante and I live in the gutters. Justice means never letting that happen! Peace means stopping wars that push people to their darkest. With peace and with justice, you, Riftor, never would've seen the light of day. You'd be just another tiny piece of me, nameless. The need to survive is natural. Anger is natural. But those things needn't be brought to the foreground, because it is also natural for us to thrive! It's natural for us to love and create, not hate and destroy. Sometimes we must destroy to survive, even to thrive and love and create. But that doesn't have to be true. That's not the ideal. The ideal is to live positively, laughing and learning, instead of negatively, plundering and burning."

 

Those words, too, echoed off the walls of the cavern. Riftor waited a long time under Aerec's fierce gaze before responding. "The ideal, eh?" There was a slight mocking in his tone.

 

"Yes, the ideal. That is what's worth dying for."

 

"Hmm." Riftor's eyes squinted, as if trying to peer into Aerec's soul. "Look at me, Aerec. Do you see this face? It's the same as yours. Do you see this scar?"

 

"I see it."

 

"Do you remember how you got this scar?"

 

"I do."

 

"What will you do with it? Will you hide it, put some bacta on it and make it go away forever?"

 

"No. I acknowledge that you are part of me, a part of my past. But the past is where you can stay."

 

"So you think. But this is not my point. You remember when Julio Furion marked you with this scar, yes? What will happen when you see him again -- and don't think you can avoid it, your old friend Fate has a beautiful way of making things happen -- and he asks you if you can look yourself in the face, if you are still hiding from this scar? What will you tell him, when you reminds you of this!" Riftor's hands shot out towards Aerec, weaponless. They stopped a meter short, but their attack did not. It was not lightning or any other trick of the Force.

 

It was hatred. Loathing. Anger. Rage. All of what Aerec had lived on as a Sith. It filled him, twisted inside him, boiled his guts, brought back too many horrors to count.

 

It knocked him to his knees. He screamed out in pain, a pain worse than anything physical he'd known. His vision blurred into reds and oranges and yellows and burning passionate hatred. Riftor's image was aflame, lighting the darkness of the cave, outshining even the brightest crystal.

 

"What will you do with Furion raises his lightsaber against yours and he is stronger than you because you have neglected this dark part of yourself? How will you possibly defend yourself? What...Will...You...Say!?!"

 

Aerec was panting now, the turmoil swirling inside him, taking him back to the moment he had killed Darla, Darex, and Dante all in an attempt to stay alive and kill Faust...Just like in that moment, his natural instinct was to reach out with all that loathing and anger and strength and end his enemy.

 

But no attack would end Riftor. That much he knew. No matter how strong he became, with darkness or with light, Riftor would always be there. He had to live with that, with his scar.

 

The darker parts of himself would not go away, yet still he had only one answer.

 

"I am a Jedi...and there are some things worth dying for."

 

The pressure began to recede. The turmoil started to lighten. The burning image of Darth Riftor began to fade, shrinking shrinking down to a tiny flame, fighting against cold, snowy Ilum.

 

Then it flickered out, as did the chaos within...giving way to peace.

 

And another shining substance. A crystal, calling out to him.

 

He let his breath out, though he didn't know how long he'd held it. Exhausted, he stood and walked toward the crystal. He stared at it a long while before reaching out into the Force.

 

Darex. I've found...something. I don't know what to do next.

[SithAcolyte]

"I'm not sure if I do understand where he is Darex." Darla's delicate brows furrowed. "It's hard for me to see him like this and it's brought up a lot of things for me. You've seen me kill, you've seen me use my rage to fuel my actions. But I've only ever done those things when threatened. To protect myself, you, Nivana, Skye... I've never tortured or murdered needlessly. When Aerec confessed what he'd done to me, I felt sickened. I was like Faust had won, he shaped Aerec to be just like him. Just like the things hate.

 

"I can't be mad at Aerec for turning to the Darkside. I've been there and I don't know if I ever truly came back. But I've never had that lust for power... Maybe I ever lusted for power because I always found myself filled it. Whenever I needed strength, it was there. Pushing me forwards, driving me on. My own dark will... But I've never wanted to lord my strength over others.

 

"I guess that's the difficult rt for me, understanding how someone that I thought I knew became that kind of person. Just like all those Sith I knew before, hated... even loved... If I wasn't so powerless, if I still had my connection to the Force, I could have shown Aerec what I knew, what I'd learned... Maybe then he wouldn't have fallen so hard. If he knew how to use his own dark feelings maybe he wouldn't have been consumed by them.

 

"I never taught Nivana any of the Darkside skills that I'd learnt. She was Fynn apprentice before I took her on. I knew he wouldn't want her tainted by the Darkside. So I played the part of Master and trained her. But I kept more knowledge from her than I gave her. For a long time I denied so much of myself. But it's all still here inside of me. Just waiting to be unlocked."

 

Darla took a deep breath. She was sure that Darex would understand, he was one of the wisest men she knew. They didn't always see eye to eye, but she felt hat the two of them had a deep understanding of one another.

 

"So many of the memories that I'd lost have returned to me. I remember so much. Except the end... Something happened to me. Something terrible that led me to my death. I'm getting closer and closer to remembering it. I think that's the key. The key to removing this mental block that's keeping me from fully touching the Force.

 

"I feel like I've been walking through my life blinded..."

[Darex Trevelian]

Darex listened as Darla spoke of how she was taking this whole mess. "Your lack of the desire for that lust for power, is, I have always believed, the reason you have never completely falled to the dark side," he said. "Or at least, in the traditional meaning of that phrase. You have used the dark side, have given in to your rage and anger, but you're right--it was only to protect those you care about. Which is, at it's heart, an ideal of the light side."

 

As she continued, he suddenly held out a hand. "You can't go blaming yourself for Faust's actions and for Aerec's choices. I know. I've done it. And believe me, it does no good. If you feel responsible, think how much more I feel that. But I learned long ago with Shy-Ree that there comes a point where the person has to make their own decision. I don't know, when it all comes down to it, how much influence others can be."

 

He shook his head. "You know I've beat myself up about this for a long time, and only recently have I realized the full extent of my need to let go of that." It hurt to talk about, but at the same time, it was a good kind of pain. A healing kind of pain. The kind of pain that comes with recognizing your failures and misconceptions and learning from them.

 

As she continued to speak, her topic turning towards her present state of Forcelessness, the Jedi Master pondered his recent thoughts from his meditation. "Have you considered that you might not ever know what happened? Are you willing to live with that? And are you sure that if you do ever find out the truth, that it will unlock your mental block for good?"

 

He paused. "From what I've seen, you can still use the Force when you feel powerful emotions. You touched it a few times in your anger and rage, and used the power of the dark side. But these have all been momentary peaks, and then you relapse again. I've been thinking...what if we exposed you to other powerful emotions? On one end of the spectrum, you have anger and rage, but what about the other end? Peace and contentment? I'm no healer, so I'm asking you," he raised an eyebrow. "If you were exposed to something that gave you an incredible joy or sense of happiness, would the Force again come back to you? I don't believe it's only the dark side that you can still feel. I don't know what it would take to let you experience something like that, but it's an idea. I'm sure you could think of something."

 

He leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure if it would do anything, but I can't help trying to come up with solutions," he added with a small smile. "I know it's driving you crazy, not being able to touch the Force."

 

As he waited to hear if she thought the idea had any potential, and if so, how to proceed with it, he felt Aerec's mental touch. He rose and put on a heavy coat. "I'll be right back," he told Darla as he grabbed a pouch from his cabin. "Just have to make a delivery."

 

Once out into the cold blustery winds of Ilum, Darex zeroed in on Aerec's presence. It heartened him that it seemed much clearer than it had before. It didn't take him long to find the cave the young man was in. Shaking his head to clear his face of snow, he set down the bag at the cave entrance and reached out to his padawan.

 

I'm leaving a bag of electronics at the entrance of your cave. In it, you will find almost all the pieces you will need to construct a lightsaber. The only things missing are the crystals, focusing lenses, and material to create your grip. Those, you should be able to find in the cave leftover from visits by other Jedi.

 

He turned and began to trudge back to the ship. Once you are ready, come back to the ship.

 

After a few more standard minutes, he was back at the ship, shaking snow out of his ears. "Aerec should be finished shortly," he told Darla with a smile. "So, what were we saying?"

[SithAcolyte]

"I don't think that I could live without knowing what happened. I know it was something important and I know it lead me to being the way I am right now. I have to face it. If I can't, if I can't know those events, those moments... Then I'm not her. I'm not that woman. I'm not Darla Sar, I'm just someone who looks like her."

 

Darla was intrigued by Darex's suggestion. It brought up a lot of thoughts and feelings. She pondered them while Darex left the ship briefly to take equipment to Aerec. What made her feel good? What could she do to brig up good feelings?

 

Her mind was drawn to the goodbye kiss that they had shared. She had made the move. Mostly because she thought that she would never see him again. But even so it was an action that she had taken because Darex meant so much too her. He had been there for her through the years, a calm rock of strength. She had never thought of him romantically before.

 

But she had been infatuated with Kakuto Ryu. If she had not been, perhaps she would have seen the handsome supportive man that had been there for her and not chased a beautiful monster half way across the Galaxy just to get her heart broken when she realised that there was no way of saving him form the Darkside.

 

Darla never took the route of least resistance. Never did things the easy way.

 

Even now she was determined to confront her demons. Determined that doing so was the only way for her to heal and move forwards.

 

Would kissing Darex again open her up to positive feelings or would it just make a mess of a great friendship? Darex had never been one to give into emotions. If he had any romantic feelings towards Darla he had never made them known. But he had kissed her back, hadn't he?

 

Suddenly Darex was back in the room.

 

"Umm...yeah. We were talking about things that would make me feel... good. Strong positive emotions, like the strong feelings that triggered the Darkside in me, but in the opposite way..." Darla was blushing a little. "When I saw Fynn, it filled me with happiness and I briefly felt him through the Force. A reunion with a long lost friend... But I don't know what we could do to try and recreate that feeling...."

 

Darla found it hard to look Darex in the eye.

[Darex Trevelian]

After hanging up his coat, Darex came and sat down next to Darla. She seemed to be blushing, and he found it hard to catch her eye, which belied to him that she did have something on her mind, despite her words.

 

He looked off in the distance, thinking. He didn't know any good friends of Darla's that she hadn't seen a long time, except for maybe Skye, so that wasn't really an option. Her mention of Fynn got him thinking on a different track”¦and suddenly, his confusion vanished into clarity.

 

There was something that he might be able to do for her.

 

In reality, he felt kind of foolish for not having thought of it earlier, but he was so used to not letting his emotions influence him that he almost paid them no mind. Now, he stopped and examined them. He was attracted to Darla. He admired her personality, her steadfast determination to take on whatever was in front of her. She was driven to help those around her, and her compassion weighed almost equal with that determination. There was a fire in her spirit that had never been quenched, despite everything she had gone through.

 

As he thought about it, the memory of their last parting played back through his mind. He hadn't given it much thought then, but both times they had kissed on Mon Calamari, he had enjoyed it. He knew that it had stroked his ego, and made him feel like the alpha wolf of the pack. His only concern remaining, now, was that if he carried his plan through, would it lead him to touch the dark side?

 

The Force swirled through him, and the more he thought about it, the more he thought that it wouldn't affect him that way. After all, for now at least, he would be helping a friend, and that thought was enough to settle any last doubts.

 

He looked over at Darla. I hope she doesn't take this the wrong way”¦ Slowly but determinately, he reached a hand around her waist, leaned closer, and kissed her. He held her there for a long moment until lust began to try to get the better of him. He then drew back, checked his emotions, and raised an eyebrow. ”œDid that help?”

[SithAcolyte]

Darex obviously understood what was making Darla so nervous. She hadn't wanted to act because she wasn't sure about her feelings. On top of that she wasn't sure that Darex even had any feelings towards her, at least romantic ones anyway. So when he kissed he she as quite surprised indeed. Has he been reading her mind? Or was she just that obvious?

 

All if her questions melted away as she leaned into the kiss. She felt his strong hand around her waist. For the first time in a long while Darla felt like a woman, not some lost little girl.

 

The kiss was lingering, but Darla didn't want the moment to end. She knew that when it did she would be filled with more questions. It wasn't something that she wanted to face up to. She didn't want anything between her and Darex to change or for things to be weird. For as long as she could shevheld onto the moment kissing him back.

 

Then she pulled away.

 

"Did that help?"

 

Help? Help what?

 

Darla had been so lost in the moment she didn't realize what Darex had meant. Then it dawned on her. He was kissing her to help her regain her connection to the Force or at least that was the excuse that he was using for kissing her. It was as good a reason as any, she guessed. But she wished that he didn't need a reason. That he'd just kissed he out of desire.

 

"Wow... I didn't feel the Force if that's what you mean." Darka felt a little light headed. "How long have you been wanting to do that? It's not just about helping me reconnect with the Force right?"

[Darex Trevelian]

He thought about it for a moment. Memories of her streamed through his mind, and he could almost see them vividly before his eyes. In that moment, he really focused on what he had been feeling all this time, and found that his feelings for her had changed over their time spent together. So it was truthfully that he answered her. ”œI guess I've been wanting to do that for longer than I realized.”

[ForceFusion]

((All right, you two keep your pants on while I'm in this cave. Nothing would scar Aerec more than to walk in on his master and good friend getting jiggy with it.))

 

Aerec trudged back to the mouth of the cave, glad to have felt the touch of Darex -- the real Darex -- through the Force. As he walked past the places where his visions of the Jedi Master and Darla had occured, he saw feint images of them. They were smiling at him.

 

Natural light spilled back in and the snow drifts began to rise. Indeed, at the edge of the cave, he found the bag that Darex had spoken of. He bent to pick it up.

 

Hello, again. It was Riftor's voice.

 

"I thought I'd gotten rid of you," Aerec responded aloud.

 

No, no. I thought you knew you'd never be rid of me. I'm always a part of you.

 

Aerec sighed. "Right. I suppose you're here to haunt me."

 

Not exactly. Just to give you warning. Reach out into the Force. Feel what you'll have to confront...sooner or later.

 

Aerec grimaced. What ominous destiny was Riftor talking about? Julio? Faust? Another confrontation with himself/Riftor?

 

But it was much more simple. He felt a pack of minds, dull compared to humans, but ferocious, waiting. He'd heard some animals guarded the caves of Ilum. Perhaps he'd been lucky to get in un-scathed.

 

"Right," he said. "Thanks for the heads up. Are you done?"

 

I'll just leave you with this thought. You relied on me for this warning, and Darex for the parts for your weapon...who will you rely on when you're a Jedi Knight, out alone in the galaxy?

 

"Haven't we been through this already?" Aerec asked, annoyed...perhaps more than annoyed. But Riftor's presence was gone. Aerec exhaled his frustration and trudged back to the spot where he'd left the crystal.

 

He sat down, cross-legged, in front of the crystal, shining brightly in its stone cradle. It looked so perfect there. Aerec almost regretted that he would have to take it out. Later.

 

He emptied the contents of the bag and organized them. A bunch of different types of casing, knots of wires, some power sources, a couple knobs to be attached somewhere or another, seemingly random bits of different metals, a little crescent piece that was probably the emitter, an aluminum circle, material for internal walls. A lot of stuff.

 

He heaved a sigh. "This is gonna take awhile."

 

He selected a fairly short set of casing material and laid it out to start placing things inside. He set up the little wall to isolate where the crystal chamber would be. That seemed important. Then he chose a metal to be a conductor and fashioned it to fit into the section below the crystal compartment. On top of that, he placed his power source: diatium. He had to make a hole through the wall into the crystal chamber, lest the power be uselessly isolated away from the equally useless crystals. It caused him to have to dis- and re-assemble the entire thing. Frustrating. But it was finished.

 

Now he had to work on the electronics part of it. With foresight, he crafted a hole in the wall above the crystal chamber, so that the energy and power from the bottom two chambers could get through. He grinned at his minute accomplishment.

 

The wiring was hell. It wasn't terribly difficult to get all the bigger components placed in acceptable spots, allowing a good channel for the energy to come through to the stabilizing ring at the top, but the little tiny wires had to attach to each other and to other things and...it was awful. The first and most obvious thing he tried to do was attach the set of wires to the knob he'd selected to be his activation button. He was no electronics wizard, and it took him the better part of an hour just to get a spark out of the touch of his little red button. And when he did get a spark, it gave him quite a shock. His yelped echoed through the caves. Hopefully none of those animals heard it. Despite his yelp, he declared victory, as it seemed his battle with the wires was over.

 

But it wasn't. He still had to connect the little snakes to three other components in the tiny space of the interior of the casing, else the energy of the crystal would somehow overwhelm the casing with heat or burst through things in random directions skewering his hand and possible worse or other perhaps the crystal wouldn't fire off at all as the power source would never get the spark. The details were exhausting. Though he couldn't see the light of day and didn't know what planet's time zone he was supposed to be on anyway, he decided it was nightfall, and that it was time for a rest.

 

He slept for six hours. Riftor spoke with him the whole time. Poking. Prodding. Telling him that he'd fail, that he was losing focus, that he should just smash it, give up, and start again. His anger would give him the focus he needed. It would guide his hand, give him wisdom. Remember how eloquently Faust had set up the war? Aerec could set up the lightsaber that way, too...he just had to find the rage. It was all there within him, waiting for the spark to flip over from frustration...simmering water, heating little by little until the bubbles of hatred and disgust burst into beautiful raging lava.

 

He awoke feeling not much more rested than before. But he kept working. And he didn't give in. It took him seven and a half hours, and many battles within, to finish up the electronics, but finally he did.

 

"I'm taking a break," he declared, and got up to explore the cave.

 

((I'm going to do this in two more posts, so I guess you have a little more time for whatever adults do when the kids aren't around...))

[SithAcolyte]

It was good for her to hear him say it. It validated Darla's own feelings. She too had been ignoring or refusing to acknowledge the way she felt for some time. People that got close to her inevitably seemed to die or disappear. Several men had gotten close to her and a few women for that matter. However Darla aways managed to put some sort of obstacle between them.

 

Why couldn't she just let things be? Why couldn't she let herself be happy and just stop struggling? Stop fighting?

 

There was a man that she cared about, standing before her, confessing that he had feelings for her and what was she doing about it? She felt paralyzed. She didn't know how to react.

 

He wasn't trying to kill her or turn her to the Darkside. He was a truly good man who had gone through hell and back with her. Did she need someone to break her heart or her bones for her to be in love with them?

 

"I... When I kissed you on Mon Calamari... I guess I'd been waiting a long time too..." There, she had said it. "I was terrified that I'd never see you again, that I'd never get the chance to kiss you."

 

She looked at him with a sadness and a longing.

 

"I guess the reason that I'd never done it before was... Well, you're very much a Jedi Darex. I'm not. I've tried to be and it doesn't work. You're very in control of your emotions. Very calm. Very cool. I wasn't sure if there was room for these kind of feelings in there for you. Ya know?"

 

A part of her was worried that she would taint Darex with her feelings. There was a deep passion that drove Darla. She didn't want to drive Darex away from his ideals by exposing him to the Darkness that lurked within her. The Darkness that seemed to be her only link to the Force as far as she could tell...

 

But what if that can change?

[Darex Trevelian]

Darex took her hands in his own, partly amazed that the same thoughts were apparently running through their minds. "Yes, Darla, I am a Jedi. You know I don't take that lightly...it's who I am, and it's all I ever want to be. But just because I am in control of my emotions doesn't mean I don't have them." And I certainly do have them... "That is a big misconception the Sith have regarding the Jedi. And just because I'm used to controlling them doesn't mean they don't take me by surprise, or make it easy for me to control them." Like right now...

 

He paused, making an effort to clear his mind. "Of course, that can also work the other way. The reason I didn't act before this was because I myself wasn't even aware of how I felt towards you. If I had stopped and considered it, it would have become apparent. But I hadn't done that until now.

 

"I know there is darkness within you. I have seen it. It haunts your footsteps and saps your confidence in yourself, because you know the price you pay to use it. I think that is another reason I refused to consider it. I was afraid; afraid that that darkness would be too much for me to ignore."

 

He looked at her intensely. "But I'm not afraid anymore. I have peace from the Force on this, and I know that if...if we choose to...continue on this path together, whatever happens will be within the will of the Force.

 

"Besides," he added with the hint of a smile, wanting to break the tension, "the dark side has very little to offer me anymore. I've seen enough of it in my lifetime to realize that. And who knows but that instead of your darkness rubbing off on me, my light will rub off on you? After all, a single candle is enough to hold the darkness back."

[SithAcolyte]

"In the past I would have let my emotions control me... But not anymore. I've learnt so much self control. Not self-denial. I still have feeling and they still get the better of me... I think we're more alike than we might think."

 

Darla was still holding his hands tightly. His grip warm, strong and comforting.

 

"In the past I was afraid of letting people get close to me. I was worried that Fynn would get hurt, which he did... I was worried that Kakuto Ryu was beyond redemption and he was. We've been companions for years now so I guess that I don't have to be afraid of loosing you. But maybe it took those years of friendship for us to get here. All that time ago I was angry, lost and confused. If something had had happened back then, it wouldn't have ended nicely."

 

Pausing Darla took a deep breath.

 

"What's there to be afraid of? This will either work out or it won't. But I'm tired of running away from what I feel or being frightened by it. I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm attracted to you... You're one of my best friends..."

 

She didn't finish what she was going to say. Instead she pulled Darex close to her, putting her hands on the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair as she kissed him deeply. It was brief and passionate and almost as soon as it started it had stopped. She stood back from him, pulse racing.

 

That felt... right...

 

"How about... How about we see where this takes us?"

[Darex Trevelian]

Darex nodded. "I don't think I could have fallen for anyone who wasn't a friend first and foremost," he told her.

 

And then she was kissing him again, and her touch ignited a fire in his veins that swept through him from head to toe. He had never felt this kind of desire for anyone before. As she drew back, her question lingered in the air for a moment.

 

He wanted to answer immediately in the affirmative, without thought, without hesitation. Instead he forced himself to focus, pushed back his raging emotions, took a deep breath and thought about it. He thought about everything it would mean, and how it would inevitably change him. But all of that faded when he looked into her eyes. He would simply be honest with her.

 

"Darla...I have to warn you. I am still a Jedi. Part of being a Jedi--to me anyway--is understanding that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good. No matter how much I might care for you, I want you to know that there would still be a point that I would be willing to sacrifice you if it was the will of the Force. Just as I would sacrifice my own life.

 

"I'm not going to stop being who I am. I will do everything in my power to protect you, to let you live, but if there ever comes a moment...I just don't want to give you false expectations."

 

He felt like it sounded harsh, and he didn't want to hurt her, but he also couldn't let himself get involved in a serious relationship of this kind if he wasn't completely honest. It would go against his grain, so he laid it all on the table.

 

"As long as you understand that, well, I'm willing to continue forward with...us. I care for you deeply," he admitted, "and I want to be with you. If you don't understand or can't accept that, I will certainly always remain your friend. Nothing can change that."

 

He leaned back, waiting to hear her reaction. As focused as he was, he nevertheless felt the movements of the soldiers on the other side of the planet. They had to leave very soon. He reached out to the mind of his apprentice, giving him a nudge with the Force, letting him know the situation.

[ForceFusion]

Aerec wandered throughout the caving, exploring the stories that history left behind. Hundreds, probably thousands, of Jedi had come to this place to embark on their journey toward Knighthood. Perhaps they came to re-forge their commitment to the Jedi by building a new lightsaber, replacing one lost or gifted to an apprentice. The stories were painted in the Force, and sometimes on the walls.

 

With his eyes he saw murals. Some were purposefully painted, telling the stories of the struggle with darkness or the journeys to this cave. Some were sprayed accidentally, remnants of fire charred on the wall. Sometimes blood dried to the stone.

 

Everywhere the Force sang the songs like an opera. It was different than the visions he'd experienced, but no less powerful. What song had his struggle left behind? What cord would it close on as he left the cave?

 

Suddenly, Aerec realized he had no idea where his camp was. Immediately his muscles tensed and the walls closed in slightly around him.

 

That's when the voice came back.

 

Lost are we?

 

"Damn it!" Aerec spat. "I thought I was done with you!"

 

Done with me, Aerec? You'll never be done with me. You know that. I'm a part of you.

 

"Right, but can't you just leave me alone for a bit. Give me a break, will you?"

 

Aerec, where would you be without me? Riftor asked in a mocking, laughing tone. In fact, where are you right now? Ah, yes. You're lost.

 

"I'm not lost," Aerec countered weakly. "I'm...exploring."

 

Riftor took a moment to sneer. At least, it seemed that he would've had he manifest himself in something visible. As it was, Aerec could practically hear the expression on Riftor's face. I wasn't talking about the cave, Aerec. I was talking about you. You're lost.

 

"What the hell are you talking about?" He felt like reaching out with a fist had there been a target at which to aim.

 

You're lost, Aerec. What are you even doing in this cave? You have no idea where you're taking your life.

 

"We've been through this before, Riftor, damn it. I know exactly where I'm going. I'm following the path of the Jedi!"

 

The path of the Jedi? Yet so quick you are to anger with me.

 

"That's because I'm done with you! I'm over that mountain. You're just grasping at straws, hassling me for your own entertainment."

 

I'm just part of your own mind, Aerec. And just because you topped the mountain, doesn't mean you're going to have an easy hike down. As the climb up was hard on the calves, so the climb down is hard on the knees.

 

"You're saying I'd better get used to this?"

 

You already knew that, Aerec. I'm saying you'd be better if you gave into this. Because that's what you'll do eventually.

 

"No, I won't. I learned my lesson. I don't want to kill and destroy innocence without reason any longer."

 

What reason would you use?

 

"What?"

 

You said you didn't want to do it 'without reason.' What reason will you use to do it now?

 

"You're twisting my words."

 

For your own good. A Jedi kills as much as a Sith in times of war. Who do you think you're killing? Are stormtroopers behind their armor evil? Are pilots in their starfighters? Trust me, the Jedi have no problem shooting them down.

 

"That's different."

 

How?

 

"It's war. It's what the Jedi are fighting against! We want peace and justice, not war and corruption."

 

Fighting for war, perhaps history's greatest irony.

 

"It is different! Shooting a stormtrooper who would kill me, even if he is just following orders, is different than what I did on Coruscant! I'm not torturing! I'm not destroying someone's life."

 

Oh, Aerec. The stormtrooper has family and friends too who will be devastated by his death.

 

"Yeah, well, I guess some things are worth killing for, too."

 

Exactly. This is a basic principle of the Sith.

 

"The Sith kill for power."

 

And what do you think the Jedi fight for? You can't ensure peace and justice without power.

 

"I'm tired of this. I know the difference in my heart. I hated myself when I was a Sith. That's what drove me. Self-loathing. It's not like that for Jedi."

 

Riftor paused before answering. You will know that self-loathing again, Aerec. I assure you you will. You're just delaying it now.

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

Tell me, Aerec. Why haven't you put the crystal into your lightsaber yet?

 

"What? I was tired and frustrated and I needed to take a break."

 

But you haven't even taken it out of the stone where it rests. You haven't even imbued it with your Force signature. These are basic steps towards building a lightsaber. Did you forget them?

 

"I didn't forget them."

 

Then why haven't you taken them yet?

 

"I'm taking my time. What's the rush?"

 

You've been in this cave three days, Aerec.

 

"I've had a lot on my plate. Ya know, visions, and haunting versions of my past self pestering me."

 

I don't think that's the reason, Aerec. You're afraid.

 

"Afraid of what?"

 

Afraid to take the crystal away from its birthplace. Afraid to put yourself into it.

 

"I'm not afraid. I'm just paying it some reverence. It's a beautiful thing, a crystal."

 

It is a beautiful thing. And you're afraid that you'll ruin it.

 

"Ruin it? How would I ruin it?"

 

By putting yourself into it. You're afraid that you don't believe those answers you gave me. And that there are thousands of other questions you don't know how to answer. And that there's too much of me left inside you for you to be a real Jedi. And you don't even know where the path of the Jedi is taking you! That's why you gave into Faust in the first place! Because you didn't know what it meant to be a Jedi! And you still don't!

 

Fear, Aerec, any Jedi or Sith leads to anger and hatred and darkness. And you fear taking that next step, taking the crystal out of the stone and making it part of yourself. Because you fear, and you damn well should, that fifteen years down the line, well into Knighthood, you're going to wake up and realize you don't know what you're doing. You're going to be all alone in the galaxy, no Darex, no Darla, no Dante, no Faust, you'll have repressed my voice so far that you'll be deaf in the silence. You're afraid that you'll have no idea what you've been doing and what you'll do tomorrow.

 

That's when you'll know self-loathing again. Except it will be worse. It will be pent up for decades and it won't have any single moment to focus on, one that Faust gave you. It will drive you mad. You'll have fifteen years to forgive yourself of, not just one torturous incident. And you won't know where to start. Yes, that's when the self-loathing will come back. And it will be worse than anything you experienced as Darth Riftor.

 

That's what you're afraid of. That's the path of the Jedi that you're marching down. That's why you haven't finished your lightsaber yet.

 

Aerec was pushed back by the argument. So much of it he hand answers to, but Riftor had just kept pushing. The anger and hatred poured in his gut. Yet there was no physical enemy to strike out at, only the voice in his head. He could only strike back with words and they were so...impotent.

 

"You're mad, Riftor. You're desperate in your madness."

 

No, Aerec. Just telling you of the inevitable. The voice stopped and, it seemed, took a breath. Do you know, Aerec, why you chose the name Riftor?

 

"It was a rift. Between myself and...myself."

 

Yes, that was certainly part of it. But there was something much deeper than that. Poetically deep, in fact. I don't know how an illiterate idiot like yourself managed it. Perhaps it was just a twist of Fate. Perhaps Faust planted it in you.

 

The word rift comes from an ancient tongue that preceded Basic. The word, in that language, means tears.

 

Do you remember how much you cried when Faust finally turned you. Do you remember how many tears you shed in your stay with the Sith?

 

I remember. I remember them all. Because they all speak for me. It is after them that I am named!

 

That, Aerec, is when I was destined to fail. Because Riftor was born out of your tears, out of your weakness! Born out of weakness, I never could've succeeded. Born out of weakness I was doomed from the start. You were too weak then to become anything more than a writhing, pathetic little life form, twisted at Faust's will.

 

It was inevitable that you would fall back into Aerec. Just as it is inevitable that one day you will rediscover self-loathing. And then, ah yes, then, you will become something great. Then you can take on a Darth title to be proud of! Then Riftor's purpose will be served! I laid the path, but one day you will become a great Sith. One day when you have decades of mistakes, failures, anger, hatred, and power to fuel you...then you will become the Sith you were meant to be. Riftor may have been destined for failure, but there is still a future for you.

 

Now, go, Aerec. Finish your lightsaber. Step onto the fateful path of the Jedi. I'll be here, reminding you of who you truly are. For now, though, you have a destiny to step towards.

 

The voice left. There were no fading footsteps telling of Riftor's departure, but Aerec sensed the voice going away. He wished he could scream at it as he left. But...too many questions to answer...too much to confront.

 

Darex was urging him to hurry. There was no time for this internal struggle.

 

He was a Jedi. He'd come to become a Jedi.

 

He found he was not so far from his camp. He sat in front of the crystal and began to meditate. He put his soul into the lightsaber, his whole soul. Hours later, when his meditation finished and he closed the casing for his weapon he felt...at peace. Strangely. He was on his path. Finally.

 

I'm coming, Darex. I think I've survived this place.

 

((Well, that wasn't all I wanted it to be...but I lost the damn first attempt at this post...so...that's that.))

[Gavin Ryaro]

With a flash of light and a lurch the Ace Sabre reverted back into realspace. Gavin quickly and effeciently piloted the ship down to the planet's surface, taking special care to land the ship in an area where it would be protected from the harsh winds and safety would be assured. Gathering his things, Gavin suited up for the harsh weather and lowered the ramp.

 

"This is the planet Ilum. Here you will build your first lightsaber. To some, the caves of Ilum show scenes of great joy, to others they show scenes of great sorrow. I can not know what the caves will hold for you, only that they will test you in ways that I can not. This is just as hard, if not harder, as any other part of your training.

 

There are many caves on this planet, and you must choose the one that the Force leads you to. You will feel the distinct calling and know exactly what you are to do. I will escort you there, following your lead, and wait for you near the mouth of the cave for as long as it takes. For some this process takes a very minimal amount of time, for some it takes days, weeks, even months. It all depends on the Jedi. Do not rush yourself on my account. Listen to the Force and let it flow through you. Now, let us go."

 

((3 very descriptive, well written (something I don't worry about at all with you) posts on the creation of your first lightsaber. Good luck! And don't feel like you have to wait on me to post in between them. As long as its a legal post, go ahead and make it.))

[SithAcolyte]

"Darex wouldn't change you... I know how much you believe in the Jedi and what you'd do for you're ideals... I know that their are things that you'd lay down you're life for...."

 

Behind her eyes images flash...

 

Her lightsaber is locked with another. She sees the face of a man. A man that sh had once loved...

 

"I don't believe in the Jedi. From my experience any institution can become corrupt and used to manipulate people. When I joined the Jedi, I saw horrible hypocrisy. The actions of the Jedi often betrayed the ideals that they claimed to honour and protect."

 

She is beaten and bloodied but still she fights on. With broken bones and shattered soul she rages.

 

Darla places a hand to her head as she feels a small pain. Memories? Choosing now to resurface? Typical...

 

"I don't believe in the Jedi. I don't think that I was ever truly one. The Jedi code, the Jedi Order, are both just constructs of man. Rules set up for control and understanding. But they're just rules, written by mortals. The true power of the Force is unfathomable. Light and Dark are just words used to describe and divide the Force.

 

"I don't want your light to rub off on me... I may be confused and conflicted at times... But this is me. If this is something that you can accept... I understand that one day our beliefs and ideas my come between. Until that day though, I'm here."

 

She smiled weakly. Things hadn't even started and already she was worried about them ending.

 

Is this right?

 

It was very poor timing that certain memories were starting to resurface while she was trying to talk to Darex. Somehow she knew that the hazy images were important and hoped that they would return to her again with more clarity.

 

"I don't want to put too much pressure on this... But I'd like to see where this takes us."

 

Until the end... Whatever the outcome may be...

[Ulan]

The ship's loading ramp lowered into the cold, brutal air of Ilum's icy landscape. Ulan stood at the top and watched his master descend into the snow. Here, on this planet, was where Ulan would take his final steps in becoming a Jedi. After several hundred years his training would finally be complete. Fear approached Ulan, grabbing at his ankles and holding him on the ship, but the small pot of soil in Ulan's hands reminded him why moving forward was important. The Force gave him peace and strength. Why he had waited so long he knew not, but he would wait no longer.

 

Ulan pulled his hood over his head, sat his training saber down on the ship, and with his small plant in his hand, walked into the snow.

 

The cold white ice crunched under Ulan's bare feet and sent numb tingling feelings through his legs. He could hear the same smashing sound resonating from Gavin's footsteps as the Knight followed behind, but had Ulan turned to look at his teacher it is doubtful the master would have been seen. The ship had been set in a safe place, but the Force had called Ulan out into the harsh landscape of Ilum. The two men stuck close to a rocky cliff on their right, but to the left the Jedi were completely exposed to the elements.

 

Ulan reached out with the Force, searching for his destination. Inside his robe he held the potted plant tightly while reaching outwards with his mind, feeling for the proper location. Time slowed down and the snowflakes seemed to hang in the air, yet Ulan trudged forward unwavering and able to see something of interest. Off in the distance, through the dense cloud of precipitation, the padawan could see a single large stone standing out from the cliff. This stone, which was separated from the mountain by two or three feet, seemed to be blocking a darkened opening. Ulan's feelings told him this was the location. He led Gavin to the entrance, and once inside turned to his master.

 

"Cold this place is, hmmmmm. Perhaps some warning given could you to those of us with no shoes?" Ulan smiled, trying to lighten the mood. His feet were cold, but inside the dry cave they had already begun to warm. He merely wanted to interject some humor into an otherwise serious situation. "A time and place there is, Ulan," he said to himself turning to the depths of the cave.

 

"When finished my task is, return I will."

 

Perhaps it was his age, or maybe it was the Force, but the fear that had grasped Ulan aboard Gavin's ship no longer had a hold on him. He understood his mission and the importance of the assignment, yet confidence remained. It was a good sign, fore before his lightsaber was finished a great deal of confidence the old padawan would need.

 

He moved his short, stubby, stiff legs deep into the darkness of the black cave clutching tightly the small infant plant. He could feel the power of the Force echoing off of the walls and penetrating his body. This place had been the birth of many great Jedi and still possessed pieces of those long forgotten warriors' experiences. Appearing on the black walls in drawings of light blue, red, purple, and orange were images of ancient Force users. Ulan could tell that many before him had scratched their history into these walls. Some of the pictures, he knew, had faded completely from sight, rubbed away by the forces of time. Others were still bright and vibrant suggesting youth and agelessness. He was walking in the footsteps of an ancient tradition, an experience that humbled him and moved him forward with eagerness, all at once.

 

Further into the cave he wandered, guided by the power of the Force towards some central meaningful location. His training had prepared him for this moment. All of the long hours spent in meditation had benefited his ability to search the flow of the Force, enabling Ulan to find meaning in an otherwise raging, unorganized river. The farther he was drawn, the colder and larger the cave became. The black glassy walls stretched far above Ulan's head, hundreds of feet up into the icy peaks of the mountain. Columns of rock supported the ceiling while other future columns could be seen still growing. Stalagmites stretched into the dome of the cavern unable to reach their brethren, the stalactites which reached down from above as if to rescue their fallen comrades.

 

To some, the cave would have seemed a strange frightening place, but momentarily the cathedral like structure offered comfort and peace to Ulan. Nature lurked all around him in the rocks, the frozen water, the air, and even in the microscopic life forms trapped in blocks of ancient ice. The cave was a marvel, a testament to nature's artistic, creative hand, yet Ulan knew better. He knew that the Force had also played a part in constructing this center of ritualistic worship. Truly, the crystal cave was evidence of the unification of nature and the Force. In this cave the two came together to work in harmony, just as they had in Ulan. Through the Force, Ulan had joined a relationship older than any sentient life in the galaxy. Acknowledgement of this fact was awe inspiring.

 

On ahead, Ulan spotted an archway that framed a picturesque scene. Sentient hands could not have built a more perfect structure. Through the opening, Ulan could see a chasm separating where he now stood from a central platform of black glossy stone. Connecting the two was a long, thin causeway just as black as the abyss it was suspended over. Ulan passed through the arch and into the massive chamber. Rocks stretched downwards towards his head, but the dome-like ceiling was only supported by four large columns standing in a perfect square, flanking the sanctimonious stone platform. This, he knew, was where his ceremony would take place. After crossing the bridge, Ulan leaped onto of the central stone, placed his plant in front of him, and began meditating.