07

[Hou-Jo Poleb]

"Rehnda!"

 

Rehnda turned to face the person who had called out her name. She smiled when she saw the familiar face. "Drahnsa. What an unexpected surprise, this is! What are you doing here?"

 

"Rehnda, how many times do I have to tell you? Call me Rahh'Erre," countered Drahnsa.

 

"Well maybe if you'd call me Joanna, I would!"

 

Rahh'Erre grinned. "Fair enough, Joanna. Well, quite simply, I was sent here by Arch-Duke Renhdast to oversee the completion of the Array."

 

Joanna picked up a pen from her desk and started writing. "Note to self: give Renhdast my... 'regards'."

 

Rahh'Erre sat down across from Joanna. "What's wrong with him sending me here to see the final Installation's birth?"

 

Joanna put her pen down and folded the note in half. "This project has been going on for over 100 years, Drah-- Rahh'Erre. I've been in charge of this Division for 15 years. There hasn't been any type of Intervention for 30 years. Why would Arch-Duke Renhdast feel the need to have another set of eyes here now?"

 

Rahh'Erre pulled his seat over, next to Joanna. He put his hand on her shoulder. "We had a big scare at Edennia. An infestation broke out there. We had no idea it was on the planet. We didn't know if we'd be able to contain it."

 

Joanna's blank stare conveyed her shock. She finally found words, by saying, "Why wasn't I told about this?"

 

Rahh'Erre got up from his seat. "We didn't want to cause a panic. We brought any slip-space capable ships to orbit, as well as many ships we could bring out safely. Edennia is currently under a blockade. It's going to take some time to examine outgoing Residents. It's going to be under quarantine for at least 10 years, to ensure it can be inhabited again without fear of a strain of the parasite resurfacing. Besides, what good would be telling you right away, anyway? Even if the infestation spread and was bad enough to warrant using the Array, it wouldn't be ready to fire anyway."

 

/ Sir Drahnsa is correct, ma'am. If no immediate intent to use the Array is apparent, then the alerting of this facility is not necessary, especially with our inability to initiate an attack. \>>

 

"I didn't ask for your 'opinion' on this matter, Mendicant," retorted Joanna, angrily.

 

/ My apologies, Lady Rehnda. I will be sure to reserve my tactical knowledge and logic to my appointed functions and when I am asked to deliberate. />>

 

"Thanks, Mendicant."

 

/ I am here to assist. />>

 

Rahh'Erre bit his lower lip before speaking. "O... K. I need an estimate for the Installation's completion and for the re-configuration of the sub-space portal for Installation Assignment for my report to the Arch-Duke. Do you have that?"

 

Joanna got up and made for the barracks. "I'll try to have something for you by the end of the week. And before you even say anything," she said preempting his pending response, "that's the earliest I can have it."

Edited October 18, 2007 by Guest

[NavyGal]

Interesting. I might keep an eye on this story. Can't wait to read more.

[Jidai Geki]

Novel approach here, HJP- dropping the reader straight in at the deep end. Nice dialogue format for "Mendicant"- look forward to seeing more.

[Minus One]

Like it so far. I assume it is based on the Forerunners.

 

I'm a little lost on why you changed the character's names though.

[Hou-Jo Poleb]

/ Lady Rehnda, the new Avatar is complete. Serial<< 117649. Monitor designation required to continue. />>

 

"Contrite Terminal."

 

/ Processing. Avatar is complete and is to be briefed. />>

 

"Thank you, Mendicant."

 

/ I am here to assist. />>

 

Rahh'Erre got into the room, wearing fresh clothing, but it looked the same as the day before. "What are you doing now?"

 

Joanna pushed a button on her console and a detailed hologram of the Avatar was displayed. "Monitor 117649. It is the construct that will oversee the new Installation. It will provide you with your estimates and will even supply diagnostics on the weapon. Once the weapon is finished, of course."

 

/ 00 Terminal Intrusion. System 117649. Requesting facility briefing. Advise. />>

 

"Allow briefing. Restrictions 00, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, and all briefings greater then 07.2 implied."

 

/ Affirmed. Basic Installation understanding. Requesting facility permissions. Advise. />>

 

Joanna sighed, already annoyed with the painful process of a new monitor. "Allow full system permissions. Restriction 00, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, and 06 implied."

 

/ Affirmed. Installation 07 permissions granted for System 117649. />>

 

"Well, my work is almost all but done, then. I have a brand new construct to do most of the work for me."

 

Rahh'Erre was deep in thought, not heeding much of what Joanna was saying.

 

"Are you listening to me, even? Rahh'Erre?"

 

He looked up at her. "Sorry, Joanna. I was just pondering to myself."

 

She got up and walked over to him. "What are you thinking about?"

 

"...If we'll ever have to use the Array."

 

Joanna put her hand on his shoulder, as if to respond, but she was cut off.

 

"//Greetings! I am 117649 Contrite Terminal. I am the monitor of Installation 07. There is much work to be done, Reclaimer. I must begin inspection of my facility and begin simulations. /"

 

Joanna and Rahh'Erre looked up at the floating avatar of the new Installation's AI. "Are you ready to begin, then?" asked the female voice.

 

"//I am. I'm most eager to learn the terrain and operations of my charged facility. Where shall we begin? /?"

 

Rahh'Erre stood up, zipping his thermal layer to his neck. "We go to the Citadel."

[Tiana Calthye]

Novel approach here, HJP- dropping the reader straight in at the deep end.

Not so NOVEL, because that's the accepted standard for suspence/mystery. Personally, I think dropping a reader in without any backstory makes for a better read, because it keeps you rivited.

 

Not sure what it's based on but it's pretty interesting.

[Jidai Geki]

I don't know what kind of mysteries/suspense novels you read, but they don't tend to jump straight into a conversation in such a manner.

 

because it keeps you rivited.

 

That would be "riveted", O mistress of criticism.

[Tiana Calthye]

I don't know what kind of mysteries/suspense novels you read, but they don't tend to jump straight into a conversation in such a manner.

 

because it keeps you rivited.

 

That would be "riveted", O mistress of criticism.

Critical as I may be, I still need a spellchecker before posting. And I've read several novels that dump readers right into either a conversation or action. Not that I can name any offhand. I do like the tatic.

 

I read whatever books I find in the library that look kind of interesting. I consider intense sci-fi to also be "suspense". There's a lot of writers, a lot of feels. Some don't do this, but some do. I just know I've seen it done before. Hey, maybe it is a novel idea, and I've just been lucky in finding good stories before.

[Anakin T Skywalker]

I like how it dumps you in on the action and not how it stops after two chapters.