Jedi on Fire - drama/action - Updated 8/31

[Obi-here]

Hey, guys. I got the idea from this story off of one of Tiana's challenges. Unfortunately, it's supposed to be a short story, which I don't think it will be; and it's supposed to start with the words, "When the sun set that night, he knew it would not rise again"...and my story doesn't begin like that. Those words are at the end of this.

 

The events and some characters are based off of the film Man on Fire, one of my favorite films. I'm doing this as a character development exercise, which is something I think I could use some practice in. My goal is to have a man that thinks he has nothing to live for, finds something to live for, and then loses that thing. Sentimental, I know. Oh...and then he'll kick an awful lot of @$$ at the end, so there will be plenty of lovely, gruesome action at the end, which I know you all love.

 

So, here goes. Jedi on Fire.

 

 

 

 

Introduction

 

 

I stood in the middle of the room, my head lowered slightly, taking in the various glances that I was receiving from those sitting in the plush, soft chairs. Some of the glances were of pity; some of judgment; even more seemed like they still hadn't decided what they thought of me - whether or not I was worthy of the title of Jedi, and whether or not I would treat that title with respect if they saw fit to restore it.

 

It was a rather dramatic moment, the kind that I tend to hate the most. Instead of telling me what they had decided, they just all sat there staring at me like something out of a freak show. But I knew that if I wanted to be part of their group again, I'd have to let them show off their abilities. Being part of the Jedi Council meant that they were all officially qualified to sit in their chairs, listen to you carefully, and then say, ”œHmm. Interesting.”

Edited August 31, 2007 by Guest

[Tiana Calthye]

The point, I do believe, of challenges is to inspire, not necessarily force you to adhere to a mold. So, by all means consider this a challenge response. But it's up to you if you want it listed as a response TO that challenge... lemme know if you do.

 

This could be quite a creepy fanfic... >.>

 

It's interesting, that it be. Welcome back. =)

[Obi-here]

The point, I do believe, of challenges is to inspire, not necessarily force you to adhere to a mold. So, by all means consider this a challenge response. But it's up to you if you want it listed as a response TO that challenge... lemme know if you do.

 

Well, it was inspired by your challenge, so I'll call it a response to it. That's really what it is.

 

This could be quite a creepy fanfic... >.>

 

Oh...this could get very creepy...and if it doesn't satisfy your desire for creepy, it'll be very, very dark. You all are about to see a rather dark side of Obi-gone in this story. I love being evil.

 

And thanks for the welcome. It feels good to be posting again. Now I'm off to work on the next section of this.

[Tiana Calthye]

Well, I think you know I like dark fics anyway... XD

 

You don't have to put the challenge response thing in the title, though... oh well. I'll keep an eye on this, at least, as much of an eye as I normally manage...

[Obi-here]

Well, I think you know I like dark fics anyway... XD

 

Well, naturally.

 

 

 

I actually have an update within two days of the last one...the last time I did that was, like...years ago. I'm reaching new grounds here. This one is a little longer than the last one, but still, not an overwhelming amount. Four pages, I think.

 

 

 

 

You sleep well, master. A little too well one for someone who knows he could have saved a soul, and instead chose to let it die, don't you think?

 

I woke with a start, my mind barely able to form in my conscious state the words that had been whispered in my subconscious. It was him again”¦part of him, anyway. I had to admit, I was scared this time - the way I had been when he had first started talking to me. He had never before tried to contact me in my sleep. Apparently my being reinstated into the Jedi Order had emboldened him.

 

Rubbing my hands over my shaven head, I shook my head fiercely as I tried to force myself awake. It was nearly morning”¦and I had no desire to return to sleep if it meant returning to him. So much for being left alone for the next two weeks”¦

 

I slowly dressed myself, trying as hard as I could to keep the fear out of my mind. I was known throughout the Order as one of those Jedi who knew no fear. While it was true that there wasn't much in the physical realm that could cause me to be afraid, I drew the line at dead spirits trying to communicate with me and haunting my dreams. It spooked me more than I liked to admit.

 

Once I got outside, things were better. I had made the trip back to the Jedi Enclave ahead of Master Vandar, who was sticking around for some sort of special meeting of the Councils”¦something having to do with a plan necessary for the survival of the Republic. I was sort of out of the loop for any plans that the Jedi had on saving the Republic. The basic information I had been given since actually being allowed out in the world was that Revan had been killed and now Malak was in control.

 

As if it mattered anyway. I wasn't going to be given any missions like the one they were planning. If some of them had their way, it would probably be years before I once again clashed blades with a Sith. I didn't really care. All I wanted was to get back into the field in some form or other.

 

I pulled my cloak tightly around myself as I was hit by the cool morning air that Dantooine was known for. It was early, and would be an hour at least before the pleasant temperatures returned. But I enjoyed the coolness. I could inhale that sharp, icy air all around me; I felt connected to the world when I experienced it in the way most people try to avoid.

 

I slowly made my way out of the apartment section of the Enclave and headed down towards the ”˜crossroads.' That's what we who had been there longest called it ”“ the small area in the middle of the Enclave which led to all other sections. A single tree stood tall there ”“ a Jedi elm; a thing of nature that could only grow where the light side of the Force was strong. The Enclave on Dantooine was one of few places across the galaxy where a Jedi elm still grew, full of life and beauty. I had spent most of my life around that tree; it felt like it was a part of me, and I of it. It was actually somewhat difficult to explain”¦when I was around it, life was easier to understand.

 

I apparently wasn't the only one who sought the tree's understanding wisdom. I turned slowly just as I sensed a presence coming up behind me.

 

”œCreasy.”

[Skye Organa]

Nice story. You've suckered me in and caught my attention. I'm curious as to what is going to happen next. Who is this 'voice' that is haunting him?

 

Nice work

[Obi-here]

Nice story. You've suckered me in and caught my attention. I'm curious as to what is going to happen next. Who is this 'voice' that is haunting him?

 

hehe...that's kind of interesting, because there's a character that comes in later who's name is, "The Voice." That's straight out of Man on Fire, though...the name was just too good for me to change. You can't get a better name for a bad guy than that...but I get ahead of myself. Thanks for reading.

 

More, soon...I'm about halfway through with the next update.

 

Obi-gone

[Amidala Skywalker]

Intruiging. Very intruiging. I like it so far, but the others are right...it certainly has a creept aspect to it. Who is this person haunting him? What did he do to deserve it? How much does Sorr know?

 

I like that it's in first person. I'm reading I, Jedi right now, so first person is kind of on my mind.

 

I'm going to speculate and say that this voice is some person that maybe the MC murdered? Or he thinks that he is somehow responsible for the person's death, even if he wasn't. That he could have saved him...or something.

 

Heh...probably waaaay off. But I like it.

 

Oh, and I've never even heard of Man on Fire...is it an old movie?

[Anakin T Skywalker]

You pulled me into this one by not telling me whose POV it was right away. And then, when I got a name, I had no clue who it was anyway. Is it an OC, or am I just ignorant?

 

Anyway, I think you did a great job of being mysterious!

[Guest]

No more??? Now that's a shame!!!

[The Jedi Master]

Obi-here hasn't been around for like a year.

[Guest]

But where has obi-gone?

[Tiana Calthye]

I'm not sure if it was Obi or Ethro who got into playing guitar and stopped writing so much, can't remember. In general, though, most people tend to outgrow fanfic; even I have, I write primarily original fiction now. (And critique the fanfics)