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Travis

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  1. Everything that says "Realm of ____" is a Terulan state. Everything that says "Province of ____" is an Angvardi state. The border between the Angvardi and Terulan Empire is the Great River Tuo. I made it extra wide to show that as well as to indicate its importance, but I didn't want to spoil the entire river with border markings, especially considering the close relationship between the two nations. Different text colors represent different types of capitals (look at the legend in the bottom left). A national capital is just the capital of one of the many nations or kingdoms there (and not all have one, some are too nomadic for that). Great Capitals are the capitals of Angvard, Terula, the Krue, and the Konenian Dominion (as well as one other, but I will reveal that later) and are rather important cities due to both influence and prophecy. The provincial borders are half the thickness and have a light blue highlight, but if that is an issue, I can further differentiate them. I want to stay with blue, but I can alter colors to make it a different shade of blue.
  2. And so it is finished. The product of well over a hundred hours (including the original and this one) is here, even if it is not yet finished. This is the "rough draft" of the map and I am sure there will be small edits and changes to come, but it is complete enough (I hope) to present. I want feedback, truly. Be harsh, be mean, make me answer for my wrongdoings. I tried a lot of new things here and some may or may not work out. I explained many of the changes in my last post and explained a bit more on DeviantArt, so I shall not create a huge list here. Yes, it is on DeviantArt because it is just too stinking big for anywhere else. The map, even at the max .png compression I can get is STILL 23MB. I did .png because it preserves the text far better than .jpg. The original files (I have two, a "base" backup and a finished product that has some extra filters on it that make editing it difficult) are around 245MB. Hopefully I didn't screw anything major up, but there was so, so much to do and I am sure I missed something or layered it incorrectly. Let me know what is messed up and I will try to fix it.
  3. I shall fix those things. I apologize for the delay. All of my free time is spent on the new map, but I think you will agree that it is worth it. Some spoilers regarding the map: 1. Terrain: I changed from a parchment style to more of a satellite version, so the terrain looks moderately realistic. I did keep the mountain/hill/forest/marsh icons as overlays, but they will now be colored as well. 2. I expanded the image size to 4000 pixels wide (instead of 3600) and added a lot to the Deep West. I also shifted the main mountain ranges eastward shrinking both the East and really shrinking the "Near" West to give the Deep West more room. I will explain my reasoning when I post it, but I am extremely happy with the result. 3. Text: Since this isn't a parchment map, there is no need for a calligraphic like font. I went with a very basic Times New Roman bold and am eternally glad I did. I can make things much, much smaller because it is easier to read (and I have a few new techniques that allow it to be read even on dark/light backgrounds). That means I can fit a LOT, LOT, LOT more there. 4. Going with that last part, the last map had something like 60 or so cities/towns and perhaps the same number of geography terms. This map has easily over 350 cities/towns and I added castles/forts and ruins. There is a significant number of added geographic locations including more rivers, lakes, and islands. 5. The coasts are far more jagged and interesting looking, and I added an entirely new island nation in the East. 6. I redid the borders, added several nations, and also included provincial/realm (states) borders for Terula and Angvard. Those will become far more significant in Book 2 when all hell breaks loose. 7. Overall, I can say that I am extremely pleased with how this has turned out. I went into it with some dread at how it would look, but it was quickly apparent that my skills (and some of the resources I found) have increased to the point that this map looks really, really good. I have finished the first round of names and lands and terrain and whatnot. Right now, I am working on the legend and then the nice touchups that make it look pretty. I hope to have it done in a few days, but I am working and can't count on it. After it is done, the writing will pour out because I have been pondering numerous things. We are going to get some really intense chapters coming up.
  4. It does, but now I want to know when you will be posting more.
  5. Is this an alternate reality or just set on Earth? I ask because you mention an Italian mother, but you also mention "in this universe" at the first post.
  6. I should have responded to this long ago, but I had to run to work when I read it and forgot about it upon returning. Nonetheless, I have read it and found only a few small issues. This isn't science fiction. I recommend something other than "de-cloaking" be used. Perhaps along the lines of "do us the honor of lowering your hood" or something like that. You need only to say "I passed the rule of my land. . ."
  7. Sorry for the delay, I have spent a lot of free time working on the new map. It is going absolutely gloriously. I am extremely happy with how it has been turning out and think both of you will as well. I have changed a good number of things, as mentioned. Now, Teladia is divided into three slightly more equal parts: the East (dominated entirely by Terula and Angvard), the West (controlled by smaller kingdoms and nomadic tribes), and the Deep West (dominated by the Konenian Dominion, but with other smaller kingdoms and tribes). The East is still the largest, but not nearly as much as it was in times past. Things will be staying mostly the same (except in the Deep West), but there will be some small changes. I am extremely excited, but I still have a LONG way to go before I am done. Funny you should say that because he speaks up on the second line of this part. I go back and forth between them because both have different areas of knowledge. I fixed the deal with the double "just's" in the master document, but it is not worth it to go back and edit here. _______________________ {{Uthas is speaking, it is quite clear he is if the two parts are read back to back as they would be in the novel itself.}} "A wise position. I am not saying you can't defeat the Krue. I want them destroyed and utterly crushed in a way that will make all of those in the Deep West shudder in fear." Gladelth cleared his throat and interjected, "Not all in that realm are your enemies." Uthas smirked and said cloyingly, "So then your glorious emperor would be happy to bend the knee to the Angvardi Empire?" The other sorcerer's throat constricted. "I would think not, but if you mean to rule Angvard as I believe you do, it would be wise to consider that some men are best as allies rather than subjects." "Is that so?" "It is. You will have been greatly weakened after conquering and subduing the East. Assuming you somehow manage to subjugate Terula—a task I suspect will take years that I don't think this world has—you will then have to march across the Metles into foreign and distant lands only to face the powerful Konenian Empire that my master rules. You will not win such a war and it will only weaken both of our people." Uthas wasn't truly considering harassing those of the Deep West, but he enjoyed seeing Gladelth squirm. "And should I deign to ally with your enemies? Surely if you are as powerful as you say, then you will have become so on the backs of others. Why should I choose you as allies?" "What makes you think we will choose to accept you as allies? You have a mighty army here, but you have yet to behold the splendor of my master's domain." Uthas chuckled at that. Those of the West were barely cultured barbarians who had thus far only survived because Terula and Angvard had been too concerned with each other to do anything more than send the occasional raiding party to show them the folly of harassing their lands. That it had taken less than a year to conquer all but the Krue was proof positive of that fact. "We will see," he replied cryptically. It was all irrelevant in the long run. As soon as he had the One within his grasp, nothing more would matter but that. "There will come a time when we will investigate an alliance or not, but this is not that time. For now, we have the issue of the Krue to deal with." Saveron looked relieved that the subject was finally being broached. "They are death in the open, but in their sacred forest, their strength is diminished. They are all but useless in siege warfare. Their hasuan are vastly superior to our own horses, but they will die against a well formed pike wall just the same." "I notice that you have engaged in several sorties against their border patrols," Uthas commented. "Have you won even a single engagement against them?" The general did not look away nor did his face redden in embarrassment when he responded. "My lord governor knows well enough the answer to that question. Our forces have been routed at every engagement, but that is irrelevant." "Why is that so? It seems that if you can't defeat a few scouting parties that you are going to be unable to defeat them when they face us in force." "If I may ask, when learning a particularly complex spell, do you first attempt it in its entirety or do you first divide it into portions and learn each one separately before combining them?" It was an astute question, but Uthas didn't like being mocked. "You are telling me that you are practicing and learning about the Krue by having your men get slaughtered against them? How many men have you lost to their patrols?" "Near two thousand," replied Saveron without blinking. It was more than even he had thought. "And you complain to me about losing men pointlessly." "Their deaths aren't pointless, lord governor. They serve a very important purpose, just as, by your word, allowing this Syler Penion to live does." "Pray tell, what purpose is that?" "I must learn of their capacities and furthermore, they must learn our lies." Uthas remained silent and merely stared at the general. Saveron was too grim a man to smile, but Uthas imagined that deep down he was enjoying himself. "I send out only my weakest men, the new recruits or those who have proven cowardly or unruly. They are no great loss to my army and are performing the only worthy task that they can. "The Krue look down on us much as we look down on the Westerners. They believe themselves superior warriors and, in truth, they are—when they are in their element. I have seen with my own eyes as a mere two dozen hasuan mounted Krue took on a hundred and fifty of my cavalry head on and after mere minutes, sent less than sixty of my men flying in abject retreat. They have mowed down infantry as though they were children. Our normal pikes are of little effect because the hasuan simply batter them out of the way with their horn. When engaged, their mounts fight alongside them almost as well as their warriors. The hasuan is not just stronger, faster, and larger than a horse, but they are smarter. The Krue near worship them and hold them in esteem just below their gods. "In watching them fight, I have learned how they fight. I have seen their strengths and their weaknesses. They have sent their best against my weakest and have grown overconfident. They have grown used to victory and slaughter. By fighting them as I have, they have come to believe that those are normal soldiers they face and have come to expect the same level of incompetence and weakness from all of my forces." The general smashed his fist into his palm in his enthusiasm. "When it comes time to face my army, they will march confidently into battle and I will crush them in one fell swoop. I won't risk them hitting me in small waves and vanishing back into their forest. No, because they do not fear us, they will face me openly with their confidence and I will crush them totally and break their will. After one battle, they will collapse and we will march forth facing little resistance throughout their domains and take them one by one." If Uthas was one to be convinced in confident words, he would have been dead long ago. "Explain how you plan on defeating the Krue if their cavalry is so strong? Surely they will ride out and meet us before we reach their woods should you march with an army of this size." "First, we have learned that while the hasuan are extremely effective against normal pike walls. The traditional strategy when dealing with a cavalry charge is to present pikes around twelve feet long in a single, fearsome line straight in the face of their charge. This solid row generally works well in stopping horse cavalry because the horses have no way to block the pikes and the rider's lances are usually not long enough to drive into the pikemen. Well, hasuan do have a defense against pikes and simply sweep them out of the way with their horn. Once they do that, they are within the kill range of the pikes where they have little to fear. The pikes are too long and ungainly to do anything in close range and thus, the line is overrun and the infantrymen are slaughtered. "My new strategy is to place two rows of spears in the front with another two rows of pikes behind. The soldiers on the front line will be able to hold their weapon far easier and keep it straighter against a sideways attack such as the kind that would result from a hasuan attempting to sweep them aside with its horn. The longer pikes in the rear will end up flush with the spears, but will be higher and thus form a flat wall to keep the rider occupied. "The momentum of the beast will always be the greatest threat, even if it is killed. Even though this tactic will cost us many men, especially among the spears, once the enemy has entangled in the line, our men will have a much easier time of it. Pikes are near useless in close range, but spears are not. With pikes providing cover and distraction, the surviving spearmen will be able to do great damage. The cost will be great, but it will utterly shatter the enemy. We have more than simply spears or pikes, they have no more than cavalry. Their infantry with their light weapons and leather armor is poorly trained and equipped to face our heavy steel and plate armor." Uthas was not completely convinced. He wasn't completely ignorant in the art of war and what he had heard sounded to him to be nothing more than wistful folly. "I don't see how such a tactic will dramatically improve the scales. Have you tested it in the field yet?" Saveron shook his head, "No, and nor will I. It doesn't sound like it will work because it won't, but I can't very well tell the men who must be on the front lines that they are sure to die, can I?" "It is a lie, then," the governor said dryly. "If that is the lie, then what is the truth." The general lifted one meaty arm and pointed gracefully at the sorcerer beside him. On cue, Gladelth produced a small vial that looked almost like muddy water. "This will defeat the hasuan for you." "Magic?" The sorcerer smiled, "No, such a thing would be sensed and countered by their spellcasters. No, this is nothing so complex, but by its simplicity, it will go undetected thus will work." "Poison then." "Yes, and not just any poison. Do not delude yourselves into thinking that the Krue are the only ones who know of the hasuan. We have many of the single horned horses in the Konenian Empire and so also do our enemies. This is known as zvaliseed, a fairly simple poison to make, but one that hasuan are particularly susceptible to. It doesn't just kill them, it drives them mad. Instead of the disciplined, intelligent mounts that are so devastating on the battlefield, they become mindless, raging monsters that kill anything and everything in their path. Coat the spears and pikes of your men with this and once it dries, a single prick will drive a hasuan mad in three minutes. You may lose your front line of pikemen, but they will lose far more and will panic at the unknown." Uthas had a new respect for this man and saw now why Saveron kept him around. "Very clever, very clever indeed. Has it been tested yet? I am loathe to risk our forces on the effectiveness of an untested poison." Saveron nodded. "It has. In one of our more successful sorties, we were able to make off with two of the beasts unnoticed. It cost two score men to capture them, but when nicked with a poisoned blade, both went mad and killed three of their handlers—all experienced stable hands—before we could put them down." Uthas was satisfied, but he would not rest all of his faith in this poison. He had plans of his own, plans that he would keep to himself. There were some things that were best not trusted to anyone but himself. "Let us hope this works. If it does, then Sorcerer Gladelth will find himself welcome in my new empire." The general cleared his throat and asked tremulously, "Speaking of which, when do you plan on making your move?" "As soon as the army is committed," answered Uthas. "I want all of the various armies occupied with the Krue while those loyal to me take control and I capture the princess. Once Raella is under my control, it will be too late for anyone to challenge me and those few that do will be quickly hunted down and destroyed." Gladelth frowned at that. "You believe that you can take over the entire empire, just like that? I was under the impression that you are governor of a backward, primitive province and that your subjects aren't even Angvardi." Uthas returned the man's frown and his expression darkened. He didn't like being questioned and still didn't know whether or not to trust this foreigner. Nonetheless, if Saveron trusted him enough to speak of this treason in front of him, there must be something about the man. "My loyalists are already preparing to make a diversion in the far east to draw the attention of the Imperial Guard and the First Legion. While the remaining imperial armies are tending to that diversion, my loyalists around the Empire will strike and replace the lords and governors with those who serve me. With the bulk of the army in Kruish territory, there won't be many left to resist." "And the Empress and her husband? Somehow, I doubt that King Rael will take kindly to you claiming his wife's throne." Clearly, the man was well informed. Uthas wondered exactly how much Saveron had been telling him. Apparently, they had discussed this issue before because Saveron leaned forward and added, "Gladelth brings up a point that is most troubling to me. I have little desire to contend with furious Krue on one side and Terulans filled with righteous indignation on the other. Even with a quarter million men at my call, I will be coupled with nearly the same number of Terulans and an unknown number of Krue." His voice turned and began to grow increasingly sarcastic with each word. "I know you wouldn't be planning on sacrificing me and my entire army in the Subeleth, would you, my dear lord governor?" "Fear not, Rael will soon have his own concerns, so I am not concerned about Terulan interference until it is too late. Most of their army will be up with the Krue, though they have sent fewer than Saveron has. I have made…arrangements to ensure that the Terulan commander is no friend of Rael, so it is unlikely that he would risk combat against a superior number of Angvardi while within hostile territory a month away from friendly lines. Even if he attempts to quit the theater, the entire army will have a long way to go before they can return to their king and form up a counter attack. By that time, the situation will be very, very different and I will be in control. The Empress won't live much longer and I have plans of my own for the princess." Saveron seemed satisfied enough, either that or he trusted Uthas to manage the situation. The foreigner didn't, though. "What would those be?" asked Gladelth with an almost innocent, nonchalance expression adorning his features. He is more than just a friendly helper, he is a scout or a spy. Possibly even both, Uthas thought. "That will be for me to worry about. All you need to concern yourself with is conquering the Krue and keeping the armies in the Subeleth. Leave the rest to me and it shall be done. I have made too many plans and worked too hard for this to fail."
  8. I have been mentioning over and over various bits about the army massing for the push against the Krue and now that is coming to fruition. One thing to note, I am going to be redoing the map rather extensively. Terula and Angvard will be shrunk while the Krue will be enlarged. The Deep West will be greatly expanded, probably to three or four times what it is now. The original original original map I based the entire continent on was supposed to be a small island about the size of Ireland. That didn't translate as well as I had hoped in the larger map, so after much debate, I have decided to just remake it all. I have a good notion of what I am going to be doing (opting for a more photorealistic map) and think it will impress when it is all said and done.
  9. Hmm, I will have to talk to more people before making up my mind on whether to have descriptions of him or not. Oh, I have broken one million characters (without spaces). I am at just over 230,000 words, too. Anyway, here is the next piece. For the first time, we are going to get an entire chapter with Uthas in it. A new character is introduced (yes, another one) from a strange new land that will be explored in the next two books. More information is coming together that explains why Uthas did what he did and some of his true connections. Little hint: Uthas will be one of the "Big Bads" of the end of this book and the next, so this isn't wasted text. Please note, this was an unnatural break done for the sake of not posting a mountain of 5000+ words in one post. The actual novel has no break in it. _____________________ Chapter 40 The lands beyond the Metles are a strange conglomeration of heathens and barbarians. They are a wild bunch who frequently would kill you before extending a hand of friendship. — Sage Hu, Peoples of Teladia General Saveron's Camp Northeast of See Sei Angvardi Province of the Sei Lord Governor Uthas could only smile as he and his escort crested a hill and were able to behold the vastness of General Saveron's army in person for the first time. It was a simple matter to read reports about what a quarter million men looked like and to conceptualize that number in one's head, but it was a total different thing to see what the thousands upon thousands of tents looked like or to catch glimpses of the men scurrying around the camp waiting for the winter snows to melt. With an army such as this, even Angvard itself would fall in blood and flame. Her walls were made to hold off an army, but this was no army. This was an unstoppable force of humanity. And yet, it wasn't even at its zenith. Another two hundred thousand would be joining them from the South in a month. Together, they would form the largest army to march in the last two thousand years. All they were waiting for was for spring to arrive and the snows to melt. Saveron was no fool, he knew that while his army was near invincible as a whole, the snows would slow them down and cost far more men than they desired. Patience was something the general had no problem with which was probably why he had been named the General of the North. Uthas only hoped that the Terulan general, Saliss, was equally capable of reigning in his passions. The trip down to the edge of the camp was a short one. The sentinels had already alerted the general of his arrival so they were greeted at the edge of camp by the appropriate standard bearers. While Uthas might not be governor of this particular province, he was still a governor and that demanded certain pomp. "Lord Uthas," a captain in Lavishan livery said with a salute. "We were told of your arrival and are here to escort you to the general." Uthas didn't bother trying to remember his name. Most armies had just a handful of captains, but among a force of this size there were hundreds. Generals took the place of captains in this army, but he did not want trifle with their names. There was only one man here who interested him. Riding through the camp was like riding through a city. The number of men here was greater than anything in the West save Kasas Sei and would have been considered a respectable city in the East. The effort put into feeding all these men must be considerable. They had passed three caravans just on their way and that was just along the eastern road. More came from Yaitil in the south and the wheat fields of Gopea in the Western Marches. There were men of all types here. There were men from the eastern provinces of Eartland and Nanai encamped next to northerners from Malorez and southern river folk. He saw even a few foreigners as well from subjugated lands, though they kept to themselves. Though the army was made up entirely of men, there were a few women among them. A few were servants there to cook and tend to the laundry and mending of tents, but there were vast numbers of foreign born whores kept to entertain the men. It was a disgrace to allow such a thing, but Uthas wasn't in command here. Were he so, he would have all of the whores cast out with whips. When they finally arrived at Saveron's headquarters, the novelty of seeing such a grand army had worn off and Uthas was ready to conduct his business. He waved off the rest of his men and entered the multilayered tent complex on his own. Saveron was seated in front of a large table that was covered in a map of the Subeleth Woods and the surrounding territory. Miniature cities and armies of different colors were scattered across its surface. Beside the general stood a man in odd attire. He wore a suit of blood red mail, but it wasn't lacquered like most. The metal itself seemed to have been dyed—a difficult and expensive thing to do. Over the mail, he wore a cape made out of the hide of an animal that Uthas had only read about. Dragonskin was extremely rare. If that was genuine, it was worth a great deal indeed, enough to buy a small city. That wasn't all that caught Uthas' attention. The stranger had black eyes that were matched by the midnight hair that ran down to the middle of his back. His skin was dark, far darker than any that Uthas had seen before and hinted that this man was from somewhere over the Metles Mountains and from the Deep West. There was also a…power that seemed to come from this man that made Uthas' hand subconsciously reach for the dagger on his belt. "Welcome, governor," was all Saveron offered by way of greeting. "Who is this that you would have him intrude on our meeting?" replied Uthas coldly. This was supposed to be a private meeting and he did not like audiences, not when he was speaking treason. "I am Gladelth Ma'ckai, an ambassador sent from His Eminence Emperor Mindan Bre't'chell of the Konenian Empire," the man said with a half bow. "He speaks out of turn," the governor replied. Uthas stared at the foreigner, trying to glean any more information. Gladelth did not flinch, but met his stare without fear. Saveron did not attempt to interfere, but sat back and watched the two men stare each other down with a slight smirk on his face. Uthas' brow twitched slightly moments before he flung his right hand at the foreigner just as Gladelth did the same. Light flared from both palms and met in the air between them with a crack like an old tree splintering in two and sending the pieces on the table tumbling. Uthas let out a cry and swept his left arm around in an arc to release more power. Gladelth answered this attack with a hastily formed ward of air and lightning that forced Uthas' power to spread out and dissipate like water poured on an overturned bowl. He then waved both of his hands before him in a blindingly complex pattern before shouting out and lunging forward a pace. Magic rose up from his feet and shot out through his hands straight at Uthas. Uthas countered with a shield of negative energy that absorbed the attack and funneled it into his counterstrike. Even before Gladelth's attack had faded away, he began chanting in the ancient sorcerer's tongue of magic. The governor's dark blue eyes chilled to a frosty shade as magic danced within him. When he was done, he but flicked his finger and there was a tiny whisper and none of the previous light displays that the two had been using. Gladelth's dark skin seemed to ripple for a second, then shook his head as though to shake water from his face. When he finished, his skin looked normal once more. He smiled and gave Uthas a warrior's salute. "Well met, Lord Uthas, not many can master the control of water sufficiently enough to attack a man's very blood. You would have had me had I not fought one who had tried a similar attack years ago." Uthas' eyes narrowed at the unexpected praise and not so subtle threat. Not many would attempt to threaten a sorcerer to his face, not unless they had equal or greater power. "You are not without skills of your own, though you are far from home, sorcerer." "I bear that burden gladly for my master has sent me to assist you. Serving his will is sufficient to warm my heart, through the company of fair skinned women at night does help." "Why do you keep a foreign sorcerer at your side," Uthas asked Saveron. "And more importantly, why did I not know of his presence until now?" The general let out a sigh, "Are you two done destroying my command tent now?" Gladelth bowed and said, "My most humble apologizes, General Saveron. It is a long held custom for sorcerers to challenge each other as thus upon first meeting. I should have had the foresight to meet him outside rather than within your presence." Uthas scoffed. "You have a smooth tongue, foreigner, I will give you that." Saveron nodded. "Yes, he does, but that is not all that is in his favor." "Pray tell, and don't leave out why you have taken a heathen into your counsel." Gladelth spoke to his own defense, oblivious to the animosity coming from Uthas. "We both serve the same side, Lord Governor, even if we do so from different angles." Uthas was hardly a pious man, but he understood the power of the Tetrarchy and respected their place in the greater scheme of things. Even then, he was just pious enough to take offense at that statement. "How dare you claim your barbarian gods are the same as the Tetrarchy." "I did not say any such thing. My gods are the Ethereals and they are legion. Yours are the Tetrarchy and they are but four, albeit a very powerful four. They are not the same, but they are allies in the greatest war of all." Uthas reappraised this man in light of that statement. If he spoke the truth, he was one of those who believed the foolishness that all gods were equal just different and that they would wage war alongside mortals. He found that entire notion folly for the gods could not die so it was impossible for them to wage war. The Tetrarchy was superior to all other false barbarian deities and that was that. He wouldn't argue theology with this man, he was far more interested in why his emperor had sent him. "Why are you here then, and not among your own people preparing for the Coming Darkness?" "I was bid by my emperor to come as a token of friendship and commonality. We are on the same side and should assist each other lest we all be destroyed by the Coming Darkness." "That is why I took him in," Saveron said. "I have wizards and mages aplenty, but no sorcerers. His skills have proven most valuable, far more valuable than any of my war wizards. It is through his efforts that I know what the enemy is planning and how far they are in those plans." Uthas had several ideas about what this sorcerer could have done for he had thought them himself. "You have a spy among them," he stated flatly. "A thrall, if I am not mistaken." Gladelth smiled. "It was easy enough, to tell the truth." "And is this thrall active? Is your link to them solid?" The smile did not diminish. "It is." "The Traitor, then," Uthas whispered to himself. Prophecies had spoke of a Traitor among the ranks of the One's most trusted. He had wondered who it might be and even tried to plant his own, but that had failed when his operative had been killed. That the Traitor would be a thrall had never crossed his mind any more than the notion that they would be controlled by a foreign born heathen from across the Metles. Saveron's brow furrowed. "You say that as though you are speaking of a specific person." Uthas waved his hand dismissively. His knowledge was not meant for the ungifted, even if they were powerful generals. "I have read things that suggest there will be a traitor who is close to the One, that is all." Gladelth's eyes flashed knowingly and his smile turned devious. At that moment, Uthas knew the other sorcerer had access to the prophecies as well. He hated him for it. "That is good news for us because we are going to need it," the general said. "Through Gladelth's efforts, we know that the infighting between the Krue has died down. This Syler Penion of Sandrin who came to me in Sua Tles has built himself a little kingdom out of those who challenged him. He is quickly growing to be the most powerful of the Kruish lords and will be able to command their entire force unless we do something to stop them." Much of Saveron's battle strategy counted on the Krue being scattered and led by separate leaders rather than a single strong warlord. None of them had any illusions that the Krue wouldn't fight their invasion tooth and nail, but the hope was that they would each have separate leaders and that the voices of many would cause chaos and prevent the Krue from being at their fullest potential. "Don't be so hasty, general," Uthas said thoughtfully. Saveron frowned and said, "Maybe I should just have the thrall kill Penion." "No!" snapped Uthas a little harsher than he would have liked. "Syler Penion is too important to kill. If something must be done to him, he must be captured alive and relatively unharmed. If your thrall can do that, then we can discuss things, but if not, we must deal with him on the battlefield." "Why do you say this?" Saveron asked. "He is the leader of my enemy, destroying him would weaken the Krue and save many of my men's lives." "But in saving a few of your men, you would doom the world," Uthas countered. "Blah!" spat Saveron. "You and your adherence to prophecy. You think this 'Master of Magic' is something special, something sacred. I say he is just a man." When Uthas spoke, his voice was as sharp as the sword that hang on the general's belt and a great deal more cutting. "And that is why you are a mere general instead of an emperor. Do not trifle in things you don't know anything about. I have read the prophecies and studied obscure forms of magic enough to know that Syler Penion is too important to just kill." "Did you not have him under your power in Kubei, but allowed him to escape?" charged Saveron with anger rising in his voice. "If you had any notion that he would be so important, why allow him to flee?" "Because I am wise enough to know that there are things that must be done in order for prophecy to align in our favor. I could have held him captive and he would never have risen to the power, ability, and understanding needed to save the world. What good is it for me to take over all of Teladia only to see it consumed in fire and death in the Coming Darkness? No, he has a part to play and must play it out or we will all die." "So, it is my own men who must pay the price?" "Yes, general," Uthas said frankly and without sympathy. "That is what all of you are here for. You are the ones who must suffer and fight to unite all the lands so that the rest of us might have a chance to live past the Coming Darkness. That is your lot in life, your purpose and your destiny. If you do not like that, then I suggest that you resign and let someone who understands that take your place." Saveron head dipped and his gaze fell over the table and the map on it. The cities and armies had been knocked down, but he wasn't truly looking at it. He gently traced his calloused fingers over its surface following the rivers and the edges of the forest. When he spoke, it was in a quiet, resigned voice of one who had the burden of hundreds of thousands of lives on his shoulders. "No, I will do what is needed, even if it sounds to be folly. I learned long ago never to trifle in the affairs of the gods or those who wield their magic."
  10. That wasn't a vision from a prophet that are if/then or either/or and can be part of a true or false branch (depending on which of the if/then or either/or's are taken). That was a seer's vision, something totally different. What Bronwyn and Kalida have seen will come to pass, there is nothing that can be done to stop it. I fixed all of the errors you mentioned both here and in the master document. Something also, I forgot to italicize a few sentences in the last one where Kruish was being spoken. It serves to help show how Syler is nearly fluent with the language, but that Havert still hasn't learned it. I now have a question for you guys, and I am going to ask the people from work who have pledged to be my beta readers. As part of the rewrite second draft, I am going to add a lot more descriptions for both people and places/scenes. I kept it moderately loose and vague here so I can let characters develop and see how I wanted them to turn out, but the time is nearing when the first book will be finished and I will need to get to it. I don't know if you noticed, but there are no descriptions of Syler himself other than that he is a male, aged 20 (soon to be 21), and is pretty well built from being a blacksmith (and now warrior). That was intentional as I started this wanting to allow people to picture Syler as they wanted him in their own minds without me telling them who he was. I am still considering that, but would like feedback. Do you guys think I should come up with a description of Syler or should I go with my original intent and keep it intentionally vague so people could envision him as they want?
  11. Thanks, Ami. I fixed them in both the master document and here. Okay, about this section. I was really wondering how I should go about this and have decided on a more lighthearted approach. I have summarized how everyone is, but now I felt the need to throw them together and show them interacting a bit with each other. This has some important parts to it and sways from humorous to serious and then to happy. It may not work, but that is where you guys come in to tell me one way or another. ___________________ "Come on out here so we can see you," Syler called out in a cheerful voice. He was seated on one of several stone benches in the main area of his garden with several friends. It was midday and the sun was high, but despite that, the winter's cold was ever present. To keep it at bay, Hambren had erected a sort of magical bubble that kept it nice and warm within the garden so they didn't need their heavy furs. At Syler's command, they had enjoyed a small lunch and, after it was done, he had announced the true purpose of their gathering. Now, unfortunately, the object of their interest was not showing herself. "Well Syler," Lamastus said jovially after several minutes, "it looks like you might have to go in and get her." Havert, sitting next to him could only laugh. Alltis gave her husband a slap on the forearm and scowled. "Give her time, I am sure it isn't easy being paraded out here for all of us." "We ain't going to tease her, we just want ta see it," protested Havert as he rubbed his arm. Hambren merely shuffled on the stone bench he was sitting on. Despite his great help in the last month and a half, he still didn't feel entirely comfortable being included in the more intimate gatherings with Syler. He viewed himself an outsider and a mere servant unworthy of such attention and honor. Syler had tried repeatedly to let him know that he was more than that, but a friend. It was at his urging that Lord Telveel had sent his armies to Thattos and later allied with him. For that, and his unwavering loyalty, Syler felt that he owed the wizard a debt and was more than happy to count him among his inner circle. Lieutenant Relwind frowned and asked, "Why does she delay?" She still didn't understand much of the Common Tongue, so Syler had to explain it to her. "She is shy and doesn't want attention directed at her. After so much work and time, she doesn't want us to be disappointed." The woman shrugged in confusion, "The armor you two made is superb, she should be proud to wear it." Syler smiled, "Bronwyn has never liked attention; it comes from being a seer woman." "I have confidence that she will wear it well so she has no need for fear," Lieutenant Grombel, the last member of the party, said. He was seated next to Relwind with a cup of spiced apple cider in his hand. "Bid her to make haste, I wish to see how the skin of the Skryia fits her." After making his own set of armor out of the remnants of the Skryia, Syler had noticed that there was still plenty enough to make a second and perhaps third set of armor. As soon as his was finished, he immediately had several of the smiths start working on a suit for Bronwyn. She had, of course, insisted on working on it and overseeing it herself. He had been too busy to focus on it as he would liked to have, but he did drop by and help every so often. Even then, he had not seen the complete set nor had he seen her wear it. He had called this lunch to reconnect with friends and allow her to present the completed set of armor. She claimed that the Kuti frequently made a ceremony out of the first presentation of a special set of armor such as this, but Syler had never heard of it before. That didn't mean much because during his time in Kubei, none of the Kuti were allowed to possess weapons or armor, at least not openly. "Huh?" grunted Havert. He still hadn't fully grasped the Kruish language and was only able to pick up pieces and parts of what was said. "Whad they say?" Alltis could only shake her head and reply, "Maybe if you paid attention when I try to explain Kruish to you, you wouldn't need to ask." The others, at least, those who could understand the Common Tongue, laughed. Karusa looked up at the grey sky and said in a low voice, "Maybe she is afraid it will snow again." "If it does," replied Hambren, "it will turn into rain as soon as it hits my ward. That could get messy." "You two worry too much," Lamastus said. "I have it on good authority that the gods have forbade any snow this afternoon just for us." Karusa looked at him with wide eyes full of wonder and awe. "Who would be so close to the gods to know that?" Lamastus leaned forward and spoke in a whisper, "A raven told me. They are close to the gods, you know, closer than all other animals." Havert, ever quick to back up his friend, added, "He's right, ya know. There are many a stories that say the same thing." Her eyes widened even further and she whispered something to herself in amazement. With a laugh, Syler interjected, "Don't listen to him, Karusa, he is just teasing." "You would like to think that, wouldn't you?" Lamastus replied confidently. "But I know things, things that you don't." This time, it was Alltis who joined, "Sure you do, and I am the Duchess of Sagol." They laughed for a bit and explained what was said to Grombel and Relwind so they could laugh too. When the laughter died out, they waited for a few minutes more, but Bronwyn didn't appear. "I don't think she is coming out on her own," repeated Lamastus as he peered at the opening in the hedge. "Go and get her before we all grow old, would you?" With an exaggerated harrumph that couldn't quite take away the smile on his face, Syler got up and walked behind the curtain of greenery to where the object of their interest was hiding. He was calling out as he turned the corner to the small courtyard concealed within the hedge, "Come on, my love, they…" his voice trailed off when he saw who was waiting for him. "Vekla?" he whispered at the sight of the sorceress. It was not who he was expecting, not at all. She was standing in the courtyard alone in an ornate sky blue dress that reached down to the ground and trailed a few feet behind her. Beautiful embroidery decorated the entire dress in a style that was distinctly not Kruish and must have been brought in from elsewhere. She wore no war paint and had no weapons with her. Her hair was not done up in her normal braids, but was allowed to flow down her back. Despite an invitation, she had not joined them for lunch. Syler had just assumed it was because of her unease around him, but now he could tell that wasn't the reason. He stood dumbfounded at the sight of her like this. In all the months he had known her, he had never seen her wear such finery, especially not of this color. She preferred darker, earth tone colors or black, but not something as cheerful as this. "My lord," she replied with a small bow of her head. "Umm, what is this?" Syler asked in confusion. She licked her lips in nervousness and took a deep breath before answering. "I know I have been cold to you. I am deeply sorry, but I had to sort through some things." Syler started to say something, but she cut him off with a raised hand. "Please, let me finish, then you may answer." He closed his mouth and gestured for her to continue. "As you commanded, I have spoken to nobody about what you told me in your chiquei that night, but I have thought long and hard about it. As your Rebastaq, your Guide, it is critical for me to be at your side in battle. I know this and you know this. I know you told me of Bronwyn's visions because you want me to know the truth and have the option to save myself, but I will not run from battle even if it means my death. I know the kvastat of the Seers are often confusing things, but I believe you when you say that it is me whom you are holding and weeping for. "As a warrior, I ride to battle knowing that I may not return. I will stand by my lord and fight until I am dead or there are none left to oppose you. If I must die, then I will not cower in fear. "You have taught me much, as have others. In the short time I have left, I will live my life to its fullest. I will enjoy what the Spirits have given me and cherish it with my all. I am sorry for how I closed you out, but I was afraid that you would cause me to doubt myself. All the things that I said to you that night haunt me to this day, but I cannot let the embarrassment of it hold me back any longer. "I know I have no right to do so, but I wish to ask a favor of you." Syler was still trying to get over her appearance and was not sure what to say. "Vekla…" he paused to clear his mind. "You are my friend. I understand how you feel and don't hold it against you. That night was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Whatever you need, just ask me and if it is within my power, I will make it happen." She bowed again, deeper this time. When she rose, she said, "I have spoken to Lamastus and he has agreed with my reasoning. Time is short and war is upon us. The future is not certain. We do not have time to waste, but must make the best with every precious day we have." She swallowed and bit her lip. Syler hadn't seen her so nervous before and was about to reach out and put his hand on her shoulder to reassure her when she looked back up and continued. "I wish to take Lamastus as my mate, and he has consented. As our lord and friend, we would like you to bless our union." Syler could only stare at her for several long seconds before he realized that his mouth was open. He closed it and took a few steps back. "Uh, umm. Oh. Well, er, I mean, wow." Fear entered Vekla's eyes and she looked hurt at his response. Syler quickly added, "Of course I will do it, I am just in a bit of shock. I know you two were close, but this is a surprise, especially considering how little we have seen of each other." "I am sorry for that. I just was not sure what you thought of me after I disgraced myself in front of you." "You didn't disgrace yourself, I understood your reaction. I doubt that I would have taken all that I had to say any better than you did." She looked down and gently kicked the ground with the tip of her shoe. "Lamastus said that you were not angry with me, but I was not sure. I could not risk seeing disappointment in your face again, not after you spared my life." "Enough of that," whispered Syler. "It is in the past and will not be spoken of again. I command it." A small grin appeared on the corner of Vekla's face. "Thank you, Syler Penion of Sandrin. It means a great deal to me to have your blessing." This time, Syler did put his hand on her shoulder. "I understand, time is short and we need to enjoy what we have. I hope you and Lamastus are happy together. I would have never thought the two of you would have gotten married this soon, but it is good news." "Married?" she said with a look of confusion. "Sorceresses and witches do not get married, Syler. We take mates. Marriage is a union with the man at the head, much like your marriage to Bronwyn where you rule and she supports you. In our case, that cannot be. No male is our equal except a sorcerer or a wizard, and none of them would dare become involved with us for more than one or two nights for…various reasons. Therefore, we cannot marry and instead take a mate, one who supports us and follows our guidance." Syler let go of her shoulder and frowned. "Um, that is interesting. Does Lamastus know if this?" "Of course he does, but he accepts that he will always be inferior. He is a smart man. He said that being with me is worth it." She looked down at herself and sighed. "To make it up to him, I agreed to wear this ridiculous dress and arrange this gathering as a concession to the customs of his people. Were he a Krue, I would simply stand before your longhouse and declare him my mate and that would be the end of it. Since we have no priests of the Way here, he wanted your blessing. In that matter, we are agreed because I also desire your approval." Syler could only shake his head in wonder. He wasn't entirely sure about the difference between marriage and taking a mate, but he did remember somewhere that he had heard something along those lines. Sorceresses were strange individuals and witches were even more so. It wasn't his business, though, so he wouldn't judge. "As long as both of you are happy, I will do whatever you want," he said. She smiled and started toward the exit from the courtyard. "The others are waiting outside then." "They are going to be quite surprised," said Syler with a chuckle. "They will not, for they came for this very purpose." Syler stopped and frowned. "Wait, they know of this?" Her eyes were full of mischievousness. "Of course, that is why they came. Did you not wonder why Lamastus urged you to come get Lady Bronwyn or why she was not here? She slipped out and is waiting with them for us to emerge." "You set this all up without me knowing?" "Yes, I spoke to Bronwyn about it and she agreed that this was the best path. I believe she wished to surprise you, but I am not privy to her reasons." "Women," Syler muttered. He supposed the whole bit about the presentation of armor and all that was nothing but an excuse to get him here. She was a sneaky one when she wanted to be, but that was one of the things he liked about her. When they finally emerged from the hedge, they were greeted with laughter. The group, now with Bronwyn sitting among, seemed to think his expression was hilarious. He supposed that his face was probably colored with crimson and his struggle to keep a stern face was worthy of mirth. "Okay," he said, "you got me. I won't forget it, either." Lamastus stood up and walked over to the two of them. He slapped Syler on the back and said, "Don't blame Bronwyn, it was my idea. I only wish that we could have seen the look on your face when you saw Vekla waiting for you." "He was quite astonished," she said with a playful smirk. She gracefully walked over to stand beside Lamastus and faced Syler. "Why couldn't you tell me?" asked Syler. "Because that wouldn't have been any fun," Lamastus answered. "It has been so long since I have seen you smile that I wasn't sure you even remembered how to. That seriousness has bled off to the rest of us, so I figured we needed a good laugh. "You didn't know me when I was younger," he continued. "I was known as a prankster and loved setting up traps like this. I guess I wanted to be able to do that one more time before I lose my freedom." That last comment earned him a slap on the back of the head from Vekla. "Enjoy it while you can, you have no idea the burden it is being the mate to a sorceress." "Ow!" exclaimed Lamastus as he rubbed the back of his head. He glanced at Syler with a crooked smile on his face. "Anyway, you have only yourself to blame. It was you who named me your court jester, remember?" As much as he would have liked to, Syler couldn't argue with that. Leave it to Lamastus to set something up that would take their mind off of work and the hardships of life, just as he had the night they returned from bringing Karusa. "So, you are sure the two of you want to do this?" Syler asked in a serious tone. The quiet laughter died out and everyone sat up straighter. They stiffened slightly and their expressions grew serious. He didn't quite know what they were expecting him to say, but he would do his best and follow his instincts. He looked at Vekla and asked, "You want to take Lamastus as your mate and will be true and loyal to him for the rest of your life?" She nodded and said, "Kae twelka ja, I swear it." Syler looked at Lamastus and asked, "You want to be Vekla's mate and will be true and loyal to her for the rest of your life?" Without blinking or hesitation, he said, "I swear it." With a smile, Syler placed a hand on both of their shoulders and said, "Then you both have my blessing and best wishes. I hope both of your lives are filled with happiness, joy, and many children to grow up just like the two of you so the future will be a little brighter." With a smile, Lamastus reached around and pulled Vekla close to him to give her a long kiss. When he released her, her face was beet red, but there was a smile on it. When he first met her, Syler had never thought he would see the fierce, uptight, and withdrawn sorceress be this happy and open. It gave him hope that the future might not be so dim after all and that life was indeed worth living. The others applauded, stamped their feet, and laughed in joy. The day seemed to grow brighter despite the clouds as they remained talking and laughing for hours. More food was brought out and, as word spread, others came to offer their congratulations and to join in the merriment. By the evening, there were well over a hundred people milling about enjoying themselves and the company of each other. Syler didn't have the heart to start sending people away, so he let them stay as late as they wanted. He did notice when Vekla and Lamastus stole away to spend some time alone and simply smiled.
  12. Before you panic at reading this, note that I am not trying to belittle you. I am trying to help you see errors that you missed so that you can improve both your story and your writing. Believe me, others have pointed out some pretty bad mistakes to me from my novel and it has helped me. Early on, it is critical to get things right so you can not fall into bad habits or get the story so hopelessly screwed up that to fix it all would be a monumental task that overwhelms you and causes you to quit. I have been there with previous projects and it isn't fun. Yes, the word "manses" is technically correct, but it is not the best word to use. I edit for another friend on deviantart (English isn't her primary language) and she tends to use a lot of really obscure words like that, probably from a thesaurus or dictionary. If I, someone with a vocabulary comprehension rate in the top 3% of the US population (I took multiple tests from reputable companies that confirmed that), have to look it up, you probably need to use a different word. I am suspicious of you using the word "suspicious" too many times in a suspiciously short period of time. Use some diversity. Unless he is shopping in their store or insulting them, "patronize" is not the best word to use here. If it is the latter, then the first sentence doesn't make sense (though the second could if you reworded it a bit). http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/confluence?s=t Confluence??? Wrong word to use there. I am noticing that you are throwing in a LOT of big, fancy, or obscure words that are not normally part of your vocabulary (I have seen you RP and post on the site enough to know this). Do yourself a favor and throw away the thesaurus. Fancy words=/=good words. You are not Shakespeare or Edgar Allen Poe, do not try to be. Use natural (but not informal) vocabulary. The sentence makes little sense as worded. How can assurances give way to doubt, then re-emerge as denial without having been denial to begin with? Plus, I don't think that comma is needed, though it might be after you rewrite that sentence. Eliminate the first comma. They cried out in reception? Did you mean "reaction to the men in armor?" Eliminate the first comma. Oddly, whether it was because it is late and I am growing tired or you got into the swing of things, I didn't find any obvious errors toward the end of the chapter. You stopped using obscure words and punctuation made better sense. That doesn't mean it is perfect, just that I missed anything that might have been off. Something to note: you started off with the guards, but never said what happened to them. They walked into the Hanged Man, the very place Hawke was hiding out, and then . . . . nothing. Positive elements of the story are that you are clearly trying to get in good descriptions of what is going on. Most people don't do that at first and are too full of action and dialogue. You went a little overboard at the start, but it smoothed itself out rather well toward the end. You had a good balance of dialogue and description once we got to Varric and yet, you seem to keep Varric close enough to what he was in the game (we don't know how you played Hawke as she was your creation).
  13. It has been fixed and expanded upon. Arg, accidentally deleted a line when adding spaces between paragraphs. I tend to go quite fast and on occasion, I accidentally select a line then hit "enter" thus deleting it. Sorry about that. There is a part where Naago says, "Once again, you state the obvious." I also added a tag to one of the lines to help the reader follow. This should not be a comma. This is the perfect place for an emdash. Excellent point, it has been fixed. I can't believe I missed that because I LOVE emdashes. Overall, I felt like this chapter flowed well, but I was a little confused here and there because I didn't grasp how serious some of the situations were. Both. Essentially, because he ordered his men to ignore protocol and invade the Prophet's tower without permission, he basically put himself above the "church." In retaliation, the priests "excommunicated" him and Celienna and began stirring up trouble among the people. Her purpose was to apologize for her father's sake and thus admit wrongdoing for his invasion of the Tower of Ester. The idea was that the priests were refusing to help mollify the people until the crown admitted its error. Once she did that and once Naago accepted her apology on behalf of her father, they would both allow him to attend the temple (thus giving him back "salvation") and also committing the Wayic priests to toning down their rhetoric and helping call out for calm and peace. The people who were rioting and near in revolt were the same ones who had been stirred up by talk from the priests. Hearing the priests urge for peace would persuade them to back down. You must have forgotten the first part of Chapter 33. The fighting started with the King being pissed at the prophets and then a big boom, but it spiraled downward after that. Strange assassins began attacking the wizards. People began to riot in support of the Way after being stirred up by fiery sermons by the priests, Lord Oblin and a few others were forced to flee the city and are starting revolts (because the king sent armies out to arrest them), and the army was called into the city to help keep order (which rarely works without blood being spilled). Picture what would have happened in Rome circa 1600 had some political figure stormed one of the Vatican's buildings and slaughtered a ton of priests. It isn't an exact translation, but that is essentially what is going on here. Terula and Angvard are highly religious countries and the king just appeared to spit upon the religion. The people were outraged, especially at the loss of the prophets and the destruction of such an iconic landmark. Throw in the assassination of several wizards and it is looking like the king is losing all control. That may be, or it might be as you said, due to you reading this in broken clumps over seven or eight months instead of all at once where you can pick up the clues. A lot of this isn't going to be spelled out. I can't honestly do that for everything because it would just take too much time, interrupt the narrative and flow, and make the book too, too long (it is already quite long). Some of the complexities in politics and warfare are going to be left unsaid. Yes, it will take someone with a political mind to see all the angles, but there is nothing that can be done about it. How many good books or movies explain every detail? It is left to the reader/viewer to fill in the gaps. Nonetheless, if my other beta readers feel something is missing, I will go back and edit things. I have promises from three, perhaps four others to read the draft when it is finished. They would be reading it all at once and would be avoiding the problems with time gaps and whatnot, plus I will have already gone back and fixed a few things (especially in the beginning) before they read it. This has been hinted at before in Chapter 7 during the discussion in the Terulan court over what to do regarding the Master of Magic. As for the priest's reaction, well, they are using the situation to increase their power as well as to prevent the king from taking more. If he can storm the prophets, what is to stop him from storming the temples or even removing them from office? He is the antithesis of Ansee. While there will be plenty of "villains" among the religious bodies (not just the Way, but others later on), I also don't want it to seem that I think everyone in religion is evil or in it for power. Ansee is going to be my star example of a man who is genuinely doing what he does to help people. He follows the Way not for power, but to better himself and enable him to serve the spiritual needs of those around him. I was unaware that I ever gave any hint or clue that she was anything but cold, calculating, and merciless. I would have thought that calmly burning a man's hands for a simple, disrespectful comment would have established her as not being someone anyone wants to cross. Then, I did intentionally mentioned several times how intimidating she was and how she was anything but warm and gentle, but rather was cold and harsh. She does love her daughter, but she is intolerant of failures in anyone. In truth, she loves her daughter more than anyone, even her husband (whom she does also genuinely love and respect). She was angry due to the tension of the entire situation and how Raella got involved. Poor Raella, while seeming to fix the situation now, set things up to really screw things up later and her mother can see that. This was a battle of wills between the monarchy and the religion and she blinked first. * * * * * * * * * * * Okay, after all of that, here is a new part. This is more of a summary section because a LOT of things need to be explained before I can get where we need to be in order for the big finale. I could take things another fifty thousand or so words, but that would make this a titanic of titanic novels and most publishers aren't eager to risk publishing a huge novel (more pages and thus higher cost) for a first time author. Were I someone who was widely known with a proven track record of hits, I could do it, but I am not. Already, this thing is pushing over 500 normal paperback pages and will probably be 650-700 before it is done. This pretty much summarizes a few changes and what is going on with Team Syler in the weeks after the Battle of Thattos. I may rearrange this a bit or I may spread it out a lot over two chapters with Syler going in and talking/interacting with them individually. I am not sure about it and need to finish the novel and see where I stand. __________________ Chapter 39 Seers are used to seeing horrible things in their dreams. When a seer no longer sleeps due to her nightmares, the future is grim indeed. — Sage Go, A General Guide to Wielders of Magic, vol. 3 Thwrud Krue Territory A month and a half had passed since the Battle of Thattos and Syler's position was stronger than ever. Despite the losses his armies had suffered, his forces had grown. Men of all ages were flocking to join the army and taking up arms. It wasn't just men who were joining, either. The Krue preferred male warriors when possible, but in times of need, they were more than happy to fill their ranks with females should they meet the appropriate standards that all the males had to pass. They showed no mercy to those women due to their gender, but those who passed were given great respect. Even with the four thousand warriors that had been sent out under Captain Delmonor as part of the allied effort to subdue the defiant Larossi, Syler now commanded over twelve thousand Thwrudil warriors. Of those, only about two thousand were battle hardened professional warriors who devoted their lives to fighting. Another six thousand had seen battle or been on border patrol before. The rest were green recruits. Also under his control were the armies of the Groolat, Moerisi, and the Pataswu. Despite their defeat at Thattos, those clans still had many, many warriors and others capable of fighting. Their combined military strength made Syler the single most powerful Kruish Lord in all of the Subeleth. With his ever growing list of allies, he was poised to become the head of a ruling bloc of Kruish lords that would give him power over all the Krue. He still feared that it wasn't enough. He had seen the size of the Angvardi army that had invaded his homeland and feared that even if all of the Krue were to band together, they would have a hard time defeating it. Worse, he knew from reports of the constantly incoming stream of refugees that the Angvardi army that was preparing to invade in the spring was larger than the one that had conquered the Sei. That didn't even take into account the vast horde of Terulan armies coming from the south. Even conservative estimates by his advisors and scouts suggested that in the spring, the Krue would be facing three hundred thousand soldiers or more. Many things had changed in that short time. The snows had grown heavier and the days colder. Winter was now in full force, but that didn't stop the Krue. Hasuan were larger and taller than horses and were able to wade through even deep snow banks with relative ease. The Kruish conjurors and apprentice mages constantly went throughout the town summoning winds or fires to keep the snow out of the streets and off the major roads to allow at least some travel. Word of his claim of being the Majiyae Oretezu and courageous—as they viewed it—charge into the enemy lines had spread even farther than after defeating the Skryia. Pilgrims from all around began making the hard, dangerous journey to see him and hear him speak. To Syler's alarm, he quickly found himself at the center of a rapidly increasing devotion and reverence that bordered on religious worship. He was willing to tolerate some of it if it meant solidifying his power base and enabling him to enact the changes he felt the Krue needed, but he kept a close eye on it. He had no desire to become some sort of deity. He was more than happy to see the increasing fame of Captain Fredis and his company of foreign soldiers. They were also hailed as being extra valorous and worthy of respect due to their stand in the battle. The survivors were toasted and heartily welcomed at the tables of Kruish warriors, even those of other clans. It was a refreshing change from how they had been treated with doubt and general contempt. Fredis took every opportunity to try to convince the Krue that other races were just as worthy of respect and just as capable on the battlefield as they were. He had taken the insulting name kalklata, meaning "outsiders," that the Krue had originally taunted him and his men with and made it their official name. Now, no Krue laughed when they heard of the Kalklata Company. So many refugees had rushed forward to join his company that there was talk of making them an entire battalion with Fredis at its head. Thwrud had become a new capital and center of travel for the region. All of his neighbors were either allied or part of the "Maluksral se Syler" as the Krue had come to call the clans that had submitted to his rule. The term, literally meaning "King land of Syler" was not meant to be derogative as Lord Ma'aq assured him, but was a reaction to the unorthodox situation. Some had even taken to calling him Maluk Syler, though he insisted that he was not a king. Several of the lords remained in the city in order to oversee the growing army that was forming up both within the city and in the endless rows of tents that were springing up outside. Syler insisted that all stay within his estate, something that sent Saledaur Torrvel into fits almost daily. By now, his house was full of lords and some of their wives. Every meal was a chance to engage in politics and banter for the others, but for Syler, it was a chance to learn. The days flew by for Syler as he struggled to learn not just about the Krue, but how politics and leadership went. Mornings were often spent talking with his allies and advisors discussing how to go about swaying the other lords to their side and how to eventually go forth to the Barat Aaqualos, the Great Gathering where all lords met in Krue Vael to discuss momentous events. Syler frequently spent the afternoons, the warmest part of the day, outside either inspecting the troops and gathering of supplies or training and honing his body for speed and endurance in combat. Evenings were spent in the forge working with Bronwyn and the smiths to forge her set of Skryia armor. Nights were occupied with talks and study of strategy and military tactics. Whenever he had any small amount of time between his other tasks, he was constantly meeting with people. He was too exhausted by the end of the day to do anything but sleep for a few hours before starting all over again. Syler's other friends all were sharing in the business that had become of his life. He and Bronwyn were still very close and took great comfort in each other's company and within each other's arms. Despite that, he noted with concern that she was sleeping even less than he was. When she did sleep, she rarely went through the entire night without waking up either screaming in terror or worse, trembling uncontrollably. He did his best to soothe her, but there was little he could do. She refused to talk of what she saw, even when pressed. She claimed that it was something that only a seer should have to bear. A few times, he happened to absorb her kvastat and was shaken to his core. He saw visions of horrible carnage, widespread suffering, and death on a scale that he had never even dreamed possible. The future was not full of happiness, at least, not from what he saw of her visions. The only positive changes in Bronwyn's life seemed to be in the arrival of two women into it. She had taken the orphan, Elyssi of Thaald, as her handmaiden. The girl had been withdrawn at first as she adjusted to life without her adopted father and all the hustle and bustle of Thwrud, but she was now a frequent sight dashing around corners running errands for Bronwyn or one of the other ladies that were staying with them. The arrival of Kalina Gaslir, Lord Zeraln's wife, had been a great comfort for Bronwyn. Having another seer, especially one who was older and actually had some formal training on how to deal with her kvastat seemed to help her deal with her increasingly bad visions. The two of them spent many hours alone talking and neither would tell their husbands what they were discussing. Havert was finding himself almost as busy as Syler. He was slowly falling away from his short lived role as Syler's advisor and moving toward the role of master storyteller and chronicler. Though the young man barely knew how to read or write, he had a memory for stories and would rarely forget one if told. He spent his days among the various refugees and the visiting Krue. There, he would listen to their tales and tell his own to them. Though he favored tales of past heroes, it didn't much matter to him what story was being shared as long as it was a story. Syler encouraged this because he saw it as a way for all cultures to learn about each other and where there was knowledge, he hoped acceptance would soon follow. Alltis was finding it harder and harder to get work done as her pregnancy progressed. She was nowhere near ready to deliver, but she was showing quite readily and was exhausted even after fairly little work. Though Kruish women typically carried on with normal duties even in late pregnancy, none dared challenge her out of respect for both her husband and Lord Syler himself. After a few weeks, even that was unnecessary because she came to be respected in her own right for what she was doing. Even if she couldn't do much in the way of physical labor, she was far from idle. She worked from the longhouse to coordinate, record, and direct the new arrivals. Thousands upon thousands of people were coming to the city looking for food, warmth, and shelter. Most were from occupied lands, but there were many who were from other Kruish clans looking to see Syler. Alltis soon became the leader of a small troop of individuals of all races that were tasked with overseeing all refugees, guests, pilgrims, and anyone else who came to the city. Her devotion and compassion to the cause earned her gratitude and adoration from those she helped. Karusa began to concern Syler with how she was withdrawing into herself. Though surrounded by others who loved and cared for her, she didn't seem to see any of it. She rarely spoke and spent hours in her room alone. When she did come out, she was in a daze and didn't respond to much. No matter how cold it got, she would go into the gardens every day and walk around, pausing on occasion to look at a particular branch or a curious looking leaf. Syler grew so concerned that he asked one of the mages to stay near and keep a ball of floating fire nearby so she would not get too cold. She made no effort to learn about the Krue or what was going on around her and nothing Syler could do seemed to change that. Syler was frustrated and didn't know what to do with her. This was so unlike the energetic woman he had left in Sandrin all those months ago. Havert speculated that whatever she endured among the Sua had done something to make her like this. Syler couldn't find any reason to disagree with that disturbing assessment. Vekla, after a few days of recovering from the battle, threw herself into life with a passion that surprised everyone. She seemed to draw from an internal source of energy that burned without ceasing even long after everyone else had collapsed from exhaustion. Most of her time was spent with Prime Wizard Hambren and the other wielders of magic perfecting battle strategies and complicated spells. What time she didn't spend at work was spent with Lamastus. She had decided to stop concealing their relationship and the news that they were courting spread quickly with rumors that she would soon take him as a mate following shortly thereafter. Syler was more than happy to see it because it made them both happy and gave Vekla a good, healthy connection to humanity. She was becoming less and less withdrawn and secluded every day, even if he didn't get to see much of it. Following their lengthy conversation after the battle, Syler saw little of the sorceress. Vekla was living life with an enthusiasm and warmth than she had ever shown before. Despite that, she seemed to shy away from him whenever they met, but was not overt about it. Even Bronwyn received a slightly cold response to invitations to spend time with them. He knew why she would be uncomfortable around them after what they had talked about but he wished she wouldn't try to avoid them. He had debated long and hard about what to tell her and was not regretting his decision, but he did regret how it had caused her to grow more distant from him. He was forced to accept that as the cost of doing what he felt was right. Lamastus found himself constantly surrounded by Kruish officers and elders. As one of the very few Angvardi among them and the only one who had not only served in the regular Angvardi army, but had also spent time as one of their ToKalak agents infiltrating Terula and fighting against long odds behind enemy lines, his knowledge and experience were highly sought after. For his actions leading the cavalry at Thattos, Syler made him a captain and placed him in charge of an elite combat force designed to go behind the enemy advance and wreck havoc on their supply and communication lines and generally do whatever damage they could do. His time was generally divided between answering questions from the Krue and training his two companies. He spent his free time with Vekla. Now that their relationship was public, he was more relaxed around her. Unlike her, he had no problems around Syler or Bronwyn and did manage to spend a little time with them. More than once, he had prodded Syler about what he and Vekla had talked about that night, but Syler said it was up to her to tell him what she wanted him to know. He had always replied that she refused to say, but it didn't seem to anger him or damage their relationship. He remained committed to her and she to him.
  14. No, don't do that. Do like what most of us do in posting it, then going back and editing (if you have to). That is how I do things with my novel and also how Ami did it with her story. That way, others can possibly comment upon my critique and confirm or repudiate what I said. I am but one person and while I may not like something, others may so you wouldn't want to change it just on my words, especially where it comes to opinion based stuff and not just grammatical.
  15. Moving on in things, a few plots develop and a few connections start to be made. At this point, I am starting to tie in some of the tangents that might have seemed more or less random. Rebellion is brewing everywhere and I am beginning to tie in various plot lines for the big finale. After this, we go back to Syler and Co. as they prepare for the great invasion and things will start getting crazy. Mark my words, blood will be spilled and bodies will be hitting the ground. Not everyone will be surviving to Book 2. NOTE: This is the last part of the first book. Though it wasn't originally in the plans, I have decided to end the first book at this point due to size and my desire to expound on things more. Everything after this will be in Book 2. _______________________________ "You did what!" Celienna shouted. "How dare you interfere in this matter! You should know your place and it is not to make decisions for your father or I." Raella stood strong against the outburst and held her ground. "I did what had to be done, Mother. I did it for the sake of the realm, just as you always said I had to." "'What had to be done.' Ha! You bowed into their wishes and humiliated yourself and the crown in front of those pompous fools." "It doesn't matter what they are," Raella replied. She ignored the irreverence her mother was displaying toward the High Priests, but it did surprise her. "They held the power over Father's soul and they had the ability to end the violence. If something wasn't done, the city would have rioted." She didn't even see the blow until it was too late. She found herself on the floor with her cheek burning from where her mother had slapped her with all of her considerable strength. "You don't understand anything here, do you?" Celienna said coldly, without any hint of anger. "You shouldn't have gotten involved, you shouldn't have lowered yourself to their level. They played you the fool and mocked you endlessly. Now, I have to clean up your mess." As she rose from the ground, Raella said defiantly, "It was my decision—mine! Father was locked away in his study doing gods know what and you have too little authority here to change things. I was the only one who could fix this and I did what I had to do. It was my choice to make, not Father's, not yours. If you could have done better, you didn't, so you have no right to complain!" Celienna's face had grown pink as her cold aloofness evaporated into heated anger. "How dare—" "I dare many things, Mother. I am eighteen years old, old enough to be of age. My time here has opened my eyes to how sheltered I have been. I may not have the experiences others do, but that does not mean I am a coward or incapable of learning. You know I liked to sneak out of the palace in Angvard. I have done the same here and seen the suffering of the people and listened to how they feel. I have watched how the guards and the army function and sat at your side for many sessions of your court. I have talked to the scribes and heard their wisdom. You have seen to it that I am well educated by the best instructors gold can buy. Now it is time for me to put that knowledge to use. "I have always bowed to your wishes and those of Father, but I will not stand by and watch as your pride ruins the lives of thousands. I saw an opportunity and I took it. Once I am the sovereign of the Unified Kingdoms, I will be able to make whatever decisions I choose. The thing is, ultimately, there is nothing you can do to stop it short of killing me." Celienna worked her jaw back and forth for a few moments while trying to control herself. Had this been anyone but her daughter, she would have roasted them alive. When she had gained enough control to speak, she said begrudgingly, "You have grown, finally. Do not think that you are the Empress just yet. We will see how this deal of yours works out, but know this: I will die before that swine Naago is named a True High Priest." Without giving Raella a chance to respond, she whirled around and stormed out of the room. * * * * * Rael Estate Outside Terula City Kingdom of Terula Being cousin to the king had its benefits. Among those benefits was the custodianship of one of the Rael family estates outside the city that had been in the family for years, even prior to their inheriting the throne two centuries ago. The estate consisted of a dozen buildings including an armory, stables, servants quarters, a guest house, food storage silos, and, most importantly, the Rael Estate itself. The entire place was surrounded by a small stone wall that, while it wasn't capable of fending off a determined siege, would allow those inside the estate to hold off an attack until help could arrive. The best thing about the estate was that it was guarded not by the Royal Guard, but the personal guards of House Rael. When a Rael ascended to the throne, it was custom to dismiss the old Royal Guard and replace them with those from their own House to ensure loyalty. That meant that those who were loyal to Gevas Rael had all gone with him to the Palace to serve as his Royal Guard. Those who were left were loyal to Amberis himself above all. Even had one of these men seen Amberis' current visitor, they would have never told the king or anyone else. Not that it was likely that any would have seen the Grandmaster Wizard if he didn't want them to. Setpinius sat across from Amberis enjoying fine brandy from a crystal cup molded by magic to be absolutely flawless. "Raella has certainly caused problems for one so little," Setpinius said between sips. "The little cur has slowed things down a little, but the damage was done," replied Amberis. "The people have lost faith in their king and are looking for alternatives. We didn't get a massive bloodbath, but that may turn out for the best as those can sometimes gain a life of their own." "What are you going to do about her now? There are already whispers about how it might be high time for her to start playing a more active role in governance. Gevas hasn't been seen much since all of this started and many are taking that as a sign that he is no longer fit to rule." "You worry too much, that is precisely what we want." The wizard's expression darkened, "Not if it is that bitch that takes the throne instead of you." "Don't worry about her," said Amberis dismissively. "She will be returning to Angvard soon and I have it on good authority that she won't be coming back. Neither will the damned Empress." "You are going to assassinate them?" "No, of course not. What do you think I am, undignified?" Setpinius gave him a sideways glance, "Didn't you try to kill Raella once already? I seem to recall being forced to play innocent about the whole situation a month or so ago." There was now false indignation in his voice. "I did not, I merely made it seem like someone was trying to kill him. For my plan to work, I had to count on her survival so she and the tutor could bear witness to what happened." Setpinius put his glass down and leaned forward, "Wait, Lorenz was one of yours?" An impish smile crossed Amberis' face, "No, and that was the genius of it. You wizards always like to think that us lowly mages are so inferior to you, but that isn't always true. I rigged the spell to only look like it was a Pandersern's Charm, but it hardly that powerful. At most, it would have thrown them back and given them some painful but survivable burns even had the wizard not had a ward at hand. I couldn't risk Gevas or his bitch flying into a frenzy and torturing Lorenz and having any ties to me come out." "I see," the wizard said dryly. "If you aren't going to kill them, who is?" "Oh…" Amberis' voice trailed off as he took a sip from his brandy. "An acquaintance will be handling things on that end. You just focus on making sure no more of your wizards get assassinated and I will deal with the Angvardi whore and her offspring." * * * * * Hopenstad North Equab Kingdom of Terula "Why are we here?" Aitin asked. "Why not?" replied Yorgel. "Hop'stad is a good place to be. Lots o' rich people livin' here." "Buy why go into the city?" It made no sense. In the months he had been forced to travel with this merry band of murderers and pillagers that called themselves the ToKalak, they had never entered any major city or village, especially not one that was walled and fortified. They had contented themselves on raiding passing caravans and even robbing nobility and wealthy landowners, but hadn't marched into a major population center so openly. Even when burning crops or slaughtering herds of cattle, pigs, or horses, they had always fled at the sight of armed resistance. Their motto had been to strike where unseen and never to fight when there was significant danger. In truth, the most risk he had seen them take was in attacking the prison caravan escorting him, and he thought that was more because of their hatred of the Shalktra than anything. "Well, that 'tis a question for Jhonatan." The prophet shook his head and sped up a little so he could catch up with the leader of this cell. "What are we doing here?" "Didn't ya hear?" Jhonatan said. "There is a rebellion starting right here and where there is rebellion, there is opportunity." "But this is Terula, why would you care?" The man shrugged, "I don't give a lick who sits on the Terulan throne, but I have me orders and if our help can give this rebellion a chance to stand more than a single massacre, then it is worth it." "You are helping an all out rebellion!" Aitin said in astonishment. "This is crazy." Jhonatan turned to him and smiled, "Of course it is, ain't it fun? Why should we do all the fighting here when we can get the Terulan dogs to turn on themselves? If Lord Valinc wants us to offer our support and weapons to a bunch of Terulans willin' to kill other Terulans, it sounds like a good deal to me." They had crossed the River Tuo two weeks ago and went to a palatial estate that had apparently been home to the Tesk family of which Valinc was the reigning lord. There, Aitin had hoped that Jhonatan would allow him to continue his journey to Lavisha, but at the last moment, he had been dragged along as the entire group turned back southward and crossed the river once more into Terula. As usual, he hadn't been told of where they were going or what their mission was. Now that he knew, he wished he didn't. He didn't know much about politics or who was lord of what, but he did know that Angvardi influence within Terula would not be a good thing. That there were raiding parties already at work was bad enough, this would be far worse. He knew some of the lords had armies of their own and worried that this Lord Valinc would send one across the border. Such an action would gravely disrupt the peace and could shatter all hope of the general unity and solidarity that he knew would be needed in order for the Coming Darkness to be thwarted. With a sigh of frustration, he kept walking through the crowded streets toward the center of town where the keep towered over everything else. Despite not being in shackles or within a cage, he was a captive. At night, he amused the others one way or another, often by his ramblings on prophecy. The men seemed to find his attempts to explain magic and how prophecy worked to be absolutely hilarious. On top of that, he was forced to cook and clean and wash clothes of the dirt, sweat, and blood that men like this always seemed to be around. The worst thing about this form of captivity was that he was forced to stand by and watch them knowing that there was nothing he could do. If he so much as made the smallest attempt to foil any of their plans, they would kill him. There were times when that sounded like a tempting offer, but Aitin knew his mission was too important to simply end it all. He would endure whatever torture or hardships that the Tetrarchy saw fit to cast in his way knowing that his ultimate purpose was greater than all of it. * * * * * Governor's Palace Kubei Angvardi Province of Kut Angvardi Empire "Rise, my faithful servant. What do you have to report?" Uthas said imperiously from atop his throne in his main audience chamber. Right now, the sand colored stone hall was vacant save for himself and one other. Quinlis Pertree rose up from where he had been kneeling, but did not look up at his master. "My lord, things are progressing as you planned. Lord Valinc and Sir Sourlin have managed to rally others in the South to rebellion. Through them, we now have the support of almost all of the remaining ToKalak who hadn't already sworn loyalty to you. There are eight thousand men in the Yae Kle Flats waiting for your word." "Excellent!" Despite his minor setbacks regarding the upstart Syler Penion and his humiliation in front of the mysterious prisoner, things were going as planned. Valinc would prove a useful distraction so he could put his true plans in motion. Operatives loyal to him such as Quinlis were putting all of the smaller pieces together with only minimal resistance. He smiled and said wistfully, "It won't be long, my servant. The fools in Terula are doing what they do best and stirring up trouble that is only making our job easier." "Yes, the situation in their capital and in North Equab is most fortuitous. Did you have a hand in that?" "Tsk, tsk," replied Uthas with a waggle of his index finger, "a man has to have his secrets." "Forgive me, my lord," Quinlis said with a hasty bow. "No need, you have done well and continue to earn my favor. Remember this, my servant, when I rise to power, I will need competent and loyal men to help run things. Continue to perform as you have and you will no longer need to hide your loyalty to me or work in the shadows. You shall have a palace of your own and men to do your bidding." "I only want to serve you, my lord." The sentiment was genuine, that much Uthas was sure of. Nobody became an operative without extensive loyalty tests and Uthas took things one step farther. Though many shied away from the dark arts of long ago, Uthas did not fear them. He found spells that could alter how a person's brain worked to make them completely loyal beyond reproach or corruption. It bound the men and women to his will and could not be undone except by the most powerful of sorcerers who knew of the spell. For now, it took a considerable amount of time and effort to cast the spell so he was only able to use it on a select few. "And so you shall. The world is too big for one man to watch it all. There will come a time when the best way for you to serve me would be by ruling as one of my governors. You are among my best servants, so I shall reserve the best for you." "If it is your will, I will accept it. What further orders do you have for me?" Uthas reached into his cloak and pulled out a sealed letter. "You are to deliver this to General Saveron personally. He is still in Sua Tles for the winter and should not be hard to find. Here is my emblem so you can get in and so that he may know you are from me. Nobody but the general himself is to see this letter, is that understood?" Quinlis clasped his fist over his heart, "It will be done, my lord."
  16. Why? There would only be a few topics and they wouldn't be added to but once a year. As long as there is a topic linking to all of them, there is no real reason to have a subforum.
  17. That makes sense and wouldn't clutter things up much.
  18. Well, since you didn't specify whether you wanted critique or not, I didn't really go into it. If you want, I can do so from now on and keep you straight.
  19. In honesty, I am not a fan of it. While I can and do accept feedback and suggestions on my novel, I am the one who ultimately is in charge of what happens. Sometimes, I don't accept suggestions because I am the only one who knows where things are going and to change it would alter that. Plus, if I am forced to write what other people want, it won't be mine and my heart won't quite be in it as much as if I were telling my story. You should write what you want and not what other people want you to write.
  20. That should be "Divine's hand." I also suggest you break up some of the mega-paragraphs. Even if they are all spoken by the same person, they don't need to be in the same paragraph. It will make it easier to read if you do. I love Dragon Age and am always interested in how other people view it, so I will try to read along.
  21. If you put up nominations, then it would become a very, very long list indeed. Perhaps a single topic in the Completed Stories forum with all of the winners broken down would work, then there would only be one link needed in the History topic.
  22. Okay, I went back and edited in a little more to the chapter. The changes are now in red up above. Ami, I also fixed the errors you pointed out. I didn't fix them here, but they were fixed in the Master Document. On to Chapter 38 and more of the situation in Terula. This is where Raella begins to come into her own and makes a stand. I also got to enjoy putting in a little more about the Way and mixed in politics just for fun. _______________________ Chapter 38 Woe to the man who dies outside the grace of the Tetrarchy, for without the benevolence of the gods, their eternal soul would be sent to Chaos. — Teaching of Plagu, High Priest of Tantis, 169 of the Second Era Temple of the Eternally Glorious Tetrarchy Terula City Kingdom of Terula Imposing bronze doors creaked open with the sound of rusty hinges that echoed throughout the stone hall they led to. Raella didn't let herself be distracted by the noise or by what waited her. She was taking a risk just by being here, but she didn't care. The Temple of the Eternally Glorious Tetrarchy was not the only one in the city, but it was by far the largest and, more importantly, it was the seat of the High Priests of Terula. Every layer of stone, each three feet thick in and of themselves, was of a different color to represent one of the four gods of the Tetrarchy. The result, while intended to show that all four were equally important and represented here, had always seemed to her to turn the temple into an almost jovial place. Despite that, the men she was going to see were anything but full of mirth. Dozens of priests in robes of blue, red, green, and white stood before of her with arms crossed in defiance. Behind them, four men wearing black sat upon their respective thrones, each with the symbol of their personal god emblazoned on its back and their staffs of authority at their sides. The priests standing against her were grouped according to the god they served and were arrayed in front of the throne of their High Priest like an army ready for battle. Despite the urging of others, Raella had no army of her own to match them with. She approached the High Priests alone, clad only in her finest blue dress to show her devotion to Mewela the Former of the world and mistress of compassion and mercy. She almost wished that she had chosen Featwel the Uniter, champion of peace and harmony as her patron, but to attempt to claim him after so many years devoted to Mewela would be an insult to the Tetrarchy themselves. Her only hope now was that these men before her would have compassion upon the people of Terula and mercy upon her father for his arrogance and that Featwel would have room to intervene on her behalf of his own accord. The priests blocking her way did not budge when she finally traversed the long aisle that separated them. Raella looked up at the four High Priests and saw that their faces were hard and defiant. When they made no move to order their priests to allow her to pass, she realize that this was as far as she was going to get. She bowed her head, clasped her hands in front of her, and waited silently in deference to their power. They left her there to stand for an entire hour in silence. During that time, she didn't fidget but stood with resolved determination. Toward the end, she did find herself gently swaying back and forth to relieve the pressure on her feet, but she did not raise her head or allow her hands to drop to her sides. If they wanted to punish her, she would take it and show that she was not going to wither away at the first sign of hardship. At last, Naago, High Priest of Mewela, stood up and said regally, "Princess Raella, daughter of Gevas Rael and Celienna, the second of her name, you may approach and pay homage to your gods." As the spokesperson for Mewela, Raella's patron goddess, it was his right to decide upon her petition. The other three were able to speak and make their opinions known, but the final decision was ultimately up to Naago. The sound of his voice after so much quiet startled Raella making her flinch, but she did not hesitate. The priests clad in blue stepped aside to allow her to walk up to Naago's throne. She kept her head down and did not look up even when she reached the foot of the massive gold inlaid stone chair. With a hard swallow, she went to her knees at his feet and kissed Naago's offered hand four times, one for each god. She had never personally met Naago but now that she had, her heart dropped. As a clairvoyant, she had frequently received such impressions of those whom she touched and they were rarely wrong. She gulped in fear bordering on despair when her lips touched his hand and she received impressions from him. He was not like her faithful mentor, Ansee. He was cold, calculating, and cared little for anything but the advancement of his personal goals, goals she could only hope were in line with what the gods desired. He bore her no warmth, just bemused callousness. He left her there for several long seconds before saying with a trace of smugness, "Rise, child, and speak knowing the Tetrarchy themselves hear." She stood up and backed away a few paces so she could see the other three and address them as well. She had prepared for this moment for a week now and would carry it through. For many days, she had hesitated, not sure of herself and hoping that the situation in the city would resolve itself. It wasn't until she received her latest vision yesterday that she had known that she must act now. In her vision, she had seen a battle unfurling within a dark forest. Men upon magnificent beasts clashed and laid waste to the countryside with horrible fire and magic. Thousands died, but in the center, she saw a single man clad entirely in black armor, facing his enemies without fear. She didn't know who these men were, why they were fighting, or who this particular man was, but it had stirred her and given her the motivation to do what she was now doing. "High Priests of the Way, most gracious benefactors of the people of Terula and all of her territories, intermediaries to the gods, I, Raella of Terula and Angvard, do humbly come before you to request both your compassion and your mercy. "The city outside these temple walls is in turmoil. People have taken to the streets in anger only to be driven back to their homes in fear as blood runs freely. The army is facing off against citizens armed with naught but staves and scythes as each day causes the situation to escalate. Assassins are slaughtering officials, nobles, and even the wizards without apparent restraint. Tensions are already high with Lord Oblin's rebellion and there are rumors aplenty of civil war, a conflict that could shatter our Unity for years to come. The skirmishes we have seen are but a prelude to an all out massacre that will happen should the tension between yourselves and the royal throne continue. "I come to plead for an end to the conflict. My father has been denied access to your graces which has been taken as a sign of encouragement for the priests to decry the monarchy. That in turn has caused the people to rise up which led to the army being summoned to stop them. I know that my father has wronged the Way by ordering his men to attack the Tower of Ester. I now ask you, was it any less wrong to cut him off from the gods themselves by refusing to see him? How is he to repent his sins if he cannot come before you or the Tetrarchy? "I beg you, for the sake of the thousands outside and for the sake of the Unity that the gods demand, accept my humble apology on behalf of my father and end this strife so that we can begin to heal our kingdom." When she finished, she bowed her head once more to wait for their response. She didn't need to wait for long for the sound of slow, deliberate clapping reverberated off of the cold stone walls. She glanced up and saw a smirk on Naago's face as he gave her a round of insulting applause. "Very good, Princess," he said in a biting tone. "That you are the heir of our kingdom would be a source of amusement for us all were it not so frightening. Your naivety surrounds you and blinds you to what is happening. It is a shame, truly, that your parents have sheltered you so and not allowed you to see how harsh the world actually is." Tears began to form in Raella's eyes as she realized where this was heading. She forced herself to remain standing and not to tremble in fear, but it was difficult. Despite his words, she still had options to play, though she had hoped not to have to use them. The High Priest continued, "You are not entirely blind. Your father, the good King Rael, has indeed sinned grievously. His sin wasn't just against the innocent prophets, the people of Terula, or even against us. No, girl, his sin was against the Tetrarchy itself. The prophets were the conduit between the gods and mortals, but they have been taken away. Without them, we are left nearly as blind as you are to the will of the Tetrarchy. "The king has sinned, yet he remains defiant and proud. He refuses to admit his error but instead incites further rebellion by continuing to oppose the gods and their Way. Then, instead of coming here himself to beg our forgiveness, he sends his daughter to seduce us with her young, innocent face and tears. It was his pride that started this and it is his pride that continues it. The blood that is spilled is upon his own head, not ours." "Do you have children, Your Grace?" Raella abruptly asked. Naago's eyes narrowed and his frown deepened. "You know that I do not." "Then you do not know what it is to have your daughter's life threatened." Raella didn't need to look at the other three High Priests to know they shared Naago's fury. Ingrald, High Priest of Tantis the Founder, could contain his anger and spoke out, "You would dare attempt to excuse his pride!" She looked at the older man and shook her head slowly, "No, I would not. I would, however, contend that it was not pride that dictated his actions, but fear for me and righteous anger over the attempt to take my life." "It matters not," Naago huffed with indignation. "His actions were reprehensible and are not acceptable. He must learn his place as subordinate to the Tetrarchy." "So you desire him to submit to the gods?" Raella asked. Now that she had them talking with her instead of at her, she was beginning to relax. "Of course, all should submit to the Tetrarchy," Naago responded on reflex. "His continued defiance is proof that he is not submissive, but is prideful and places his will above the will of the gods." "And to the Way of Unity?" "You know this to be true," he replied with a scowl. "And to the High Priests who guide the Way?" "Once again you state the obvious." "But which High Priests?" she asked. As she did, she looked at the four of them each in turn. They were not ignorant and realized she was leading them into dangerous territory. She fought to keep a smile off of her face as they began to realize what she was saying. There had long been a debate over which High Priests, Angvardi or Terulan, were the true High Priests. While the two nations had been at odds, both sides claimed their High Priests were the true ones. Wars had been fought over who had the rightful claim and the consensus generally allowed that the High Priests of whichever nation was more powerful was the truer one. Now that the two nations were at peace and were preparing to be Unified, the debate had taken a new turn. Technically, both nations were equal and both had equal claim and much maneuvering had gone into courting both monarchs to guarantee their supremacy after Unification. Compromises had been proposed, but none managed to gain the approval of both camps. The issue was one of the few that divided Rael and Celienna, though they had thus far managed to keep out of the public debates. Now, Raella was bringing that bargaining chip out and placing it on the table of her own accord. There was silence for half a minute as the High Priest shifted in their thrones. Ingrald leaned toward Raella and asked, "What do you propose?" She could no longer hide her smile. She had them. Call me naïve, would you? She thought. "I propose nothing," she said innocently. "I only point out that I am the heir to not just one kingdom, but both kingdoms. I will also point out that the decision regarding Priestial Supremacy will eventually fall into my lap and I, as sole sovereign of the Unified Kingdoms, will be forced to make an ultimate decision upon the matter." She paused and looked back to Naago. "If you can, imagine how I would feel knowing that my own father's soul was condemned to Chaos when it could have been helped. Now imagine how I would view those who had the ability to forgive his sins and spare his soul from eternal damnation, but refused to do so. The reason doesn't matter, for when compared to eternity, the petty grievances of this world seem fairly petty, don't you think?" Naago's eyes flared and his face as stone as he looked at her with an expression that could either be contempt or perhaps grudging respect. When he spoke, he did so calmly and carefully. "How would you imagine you would be feeling should this matter be resolved amicably?" With her blue eyes not wavering from his, she replied in the same manner. "Both sides hold equal claim and have equal numbers of followers. Therefore, I see it only fair that two Angvardi High Priests and two Terulan High Priests be confirmed. I can also see the need of the High Priests to have a single place to minister to their flocks so that they can present a unified voice in all matters." She looked around at the temple they were in, "I have always believed that this is a truly grand monument to the Tetrarchy." The tip of Naago's tongue wetted his lips and his face grew even more intent and focused. He looked over at the other three and, to Raella's eyes, began to have a silent conversation with them. It amounted to nothing more than subtle movements of their hands and expressions on their faces, but she knew that there was a great deal of information being discussed through the silence. "Does the Princess have any imagination as to exactly who would be upon this newly formed body?" Naago said when they were finished. Raella's heart sank, but she didn't show it. She had planned on them accepting the concept of merging the two groups of High Priests as it was the most widely accepted compromise that would incite the least amount of anger. She had hoped that offering to house the High Priests here in Terula City instead of declaring the Temple of the Magnificence of the Tetrarchy in Angvard the prime temple would satisfy them. It appeared that her impression of Naago was not incorrect. "Well," she said, "I would want a man who was wise enough to compromise and demonstrate forgiveness and mercy to be a High Priest. He will need such skills so he could better tend to the vast flock that would be his responsibility. Right now," she said pointedly, "I do not see any here who would fit that bill, so I would have to look among the Terulans. Perhaps one of them would have compassion enough to administer to my father in his time of need." Naago sat back with a smile forming on the corners of his mouth. He didn't even make the pretense of considering nor did he look at the others before speaking. "I see no need to make the journey, Princess Raella. I sense a great stirring within my heart and believe that the glorious goddess Mewela is chastising me for the coldness that dwells in it on this matter. As her representative, I should have trusted her guidance and submitted to her love for compassion and mercy." The other High Priests began to stir in their seats and glared at him in fury at his betrayal. Nonetheless, they were too disciplined to actually speak out against one who was making the ruling for to do so would violate protocol and give the appearance that the disputing High Priest was questioning the will of another god. "Therefore," Naago said as he stood up abruptly with his staff in hand, "in the name of Her Most Benevolent Eminence Mewela the Former, I do accept your humble request for mercy for your father, King Rael of Terula. I unblock the gates to the temple and declare him once again welcome in the presence of the Tetrarchy. This rift between the crown and the gods has gone long enough, it is time for us to end it and restore Unity to the land and its people." He paused to look over at the others. "So it has been said, so shall it be done, in the name of the Most High and Perfect Tetrarchy." He pounded the base of his staff against the ground four times and waited until the thunder of the last impact faded before speaking again. "Go now, Princess Raella, with the blessings of the Tetrarchy." As she retraced her steps back through the long aisle, Raella kept her head high. She had accomplished what she had set out to do, but it had come at a great cost. She had always feared that not all priests of the Way were as pure as Ansee, but she had kept it on faith that the High Priest themselves were devout and honest. Today, by bargaining away a seat with the Unified High Priests, she felt she had committed an egregious sin against the Tetrarchy themselves. It was blasphemy and treachery against the Tetrarchy to do what she just did and it could cost her eternal bliss with the gods. Regardless, if it meant that the suffering of the innocent would be abated and her father's soul restored, it was a price she was willing to pay.
  23. There were subtle hints in the past, very subtle ones. They sort of started after their fight in the forest following the whole Skryia fight (almost four months ago). Then, if you notice, they are seen together a lot in following scenes. Here are some clues that I can think of right off the top of my head. 1. They were sitting next to each other at the banquet and have actually been paired together somehow in almost every scene they have been in up to the battle itself. 2. At that banquet, Zeraln noticed the odd piece of blue chord tied around Lamastus' upper arm. Note that is the same color that Vekla's warpaint is and the same color of her necklace (which she had before meeting him). 3. One of the more telling clues was in the longhouse celebrating the activation of Fredis' company just before news of the invasion reached them. Here is the whole paragraph: The insinuation is that they were intimate and some of her blue warpaint rubbed off on his face. Also note that both Syler and Bronwyn were not surprised at this thus indicating that they have noticed the two before. It hasn't been said before, but that is the point. We haven't seen them alone together before because the narrative of late has not been from either of their perspectives. As I said in the intro part, there is a lot that isn't spoken here and that require the reader to put together the pieces. I didn't want to go out and spell out that the two of them were becoming a couple simply because I thought that it would better suit their characters (especially hers) if it were something they tried to keep sort of hidden or at least low profile. If they were going to hide it in the story, I wanted to try to portray some of that secrecy by not spelling out that they were getting close in the story. I could have put in a blatant line somewhere saying "And Vekla and Lamastus had been spending a lot of time together and were clearly growing attached" or something like that, but I wanted to try to show that rather than tell it. You will have to remain curious for a little while yet. I will tell the readers eventually, but for now, it is a big secret from everyone but the two of them.
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