Exodus Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 ImmortaL Written by; Exodus Prologue: A Drop Of Destruction ”¦I watched my reflection walk by in the window. He tried to understand what it meant; perhaps it was an omen of miserable fortune, or with his luck, even worse. Whatever it was, he let the paradox sweep past him without another heed. Yet, a different marvel captured him far more than what had transpired but a second before. Yes”” this phenomenon sketched itself with beautiful shades of color across the clear blue skies as if a rainbow sheathed its vastness. He took three steps from the lavish mirror and towards the rather spacious windowsill; each step more hollow than the last. It was obvious as the echoes traveled far and down the halls that this place was swamped in sinuous silence; only the tick and its brother tock could be heard from the bellow of a grandfather clock. He reached out to the window with an open hand and pressed his smooth palm against the glass. The touch aroused his senses and delivered a chill of warmth down his skin and drove a hurried breath from his mouth that moistened the pane in front of him. He searched the heavens and admired its peaceful panorama but as he lowered his watch below the horizons and laid it upon his home below; what he saw lit his absolute-white irises. ”œWha””what the”¦” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Want me to add this to the challenge response list? Anyway, story! Excellent first post--welcome to Fanfic. You're a great RPer and your posts have always been so deep, more deep than the average””and it's great to see that talent cross over into the library. The descriptions are vivid and the cliffie leaves me hoping for more soon. Hesitation crept up his spine, the adrenaline in his body taking complete control and ignoring any hope for reasoning. This is a very realistic description that I found completely encompassed how your character felt. Welcome to the library! Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galadriel Kenobi Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 Intriguing. I like your descriptions, and you've definitely drawn me in. I'm eager to see what comes next! "Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought." --- Abraham Lincoln "We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang seperately." --- Benjamin Franklin in the movie, 1776 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exodus Posted October 23, 2007 Author Share Posted October 23, 2007 Thank you very much Tiana and Galadriel. Also, I won't mind if you place this in the challenge response list; it is after all the reason and motivation behind my story. Nonetheless, this is my first attempt at a Fanfic and am quite pleased with the few but pleasant responses I've recieved so far. The descriptions are so emphasized because I wish the audience to feel and think as each character does when they interact with anything in the story and it seems to have held its affect so far. I thank the both of you again and the first chapter will be in the works very soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted October 23, 2007 Share Posted October 23, 2007 It's well written. Fanfic isn't that active, so two reviews is pretty good. I have none on my last update. We shall await an update, then! Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 A very intriguing beginning. Tell me what happened! You write very well. I can see you put a lot of thought into the words you used. Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now