Borleias

[Liv]

• The little girl with long curly brown hair, consumed by grief, looked to the distance with a maniacal gleam beneath her puffy red eyes. Part of her smile perked into an unsettling grin as tears continued to run down her face…

Despite attempts to drown out her pain, Liv’s subconscious clung to it. Addictive tendrils embraced the need for relief. Her delirious state created cracks in her body’s natural resistance and the dark side of the force slipped through the cracks, fusing the pain she felt to every muscle in her body. Regardless of drug use, she would feel pain. But she only saw the ebbing need for spice as it rose to the surface and claimed her vulnerable consciousness.

 

Liv’s eyes were still hesitant to open. One of her eyes physically couldn’t open; at least not until the bandages were removed. And because pain limited her momentum, she stayed lying still on the hospital bed, letting fate poke at her brain like a toddler with a giant foam finger.

 

Okay, H-h-hospital. That explains the Bandages.

 

No painkillers. Maybe that’s why I feel bad.

 

Who are these people and why do they care?

 

Aira and Aelyn. So, there are two people here with me. Heh, AA. Relevant.

 

In regard to Aira’s(?) question, Liv did remember. She could see the Shuffler in her mind’s eye, even though the image was a little blurry at the time, and she saw her arm shoot out, ending his life. The moment was chiseled into the bedrock of her mind as one of the worst moments of her life. But it was necessary. He would have done the same. It was kill or be killed in the slums. That was how things worked.

 

She recognized the last voice. It was the same voice that called out to her in the warehouse and the same voice that tried to calm her down earlier. It was gentle. Liv couldn’t tell if it was trying to make peace or prove a point. But Liv also didn’t know who was who.

 

She admitted that her intensity may have been a bit harsh. But she wanted her things. They were the last pieces she had to remember the good times. If she lost them, she didn’t know if she’d ever go back. She still didn’t know if these two stole her things, but if she was in a hospital, her coat and jewelry might be kept on a counter nearby.

 

Above all of that, haunting her attempts at cohesive thought, sat the blubbering force of addiction that collapsed on her head. It tried to compromise her motor functions and send her body into tremors. But, due to pain, her brain sought preservation over the outward expression of need. But Liv’s thoughts, not tied to hospital bed, fled to carsunum.

 

“I-I remember. He tried to take my stuff. He tried to take advantage of me and might have killed me. But I killed him first. It was the only thing that they understood. They were afraid of me because I screamed. They were afraid of me because they didn’t know me. But when they thought I was weak, they moved in to finish it.” Liv’s voice was congested by the bandages around her mouth and the stifling desire that built in her mind.

 

“I-I… do any of you have any carsunum? Did you happen to get my capsule? I think I dropped it.”

[Aira Cadan]

I shook my head. "You have a chance here, Liv. The doctors can help you overcome your drug addiction. It'll be long and rough, but it'll give you a new chance to make your life better," I said quietly. "They can give you the help you need, and then you won't have to live in bondage anymore. But it has to be your choice."

 

I hoped the woman would choose to take the second chance. In the meantime, the nurse had told us that if she asked for drugs, we could give her a low dosage that would help wean her off the drug without having to quit cold turkey. I offered her the small capsule, clearly a much smaller dosage than she was used to. "The hospital is going to try to wean you off it regardless as long as you're here."

 

After a moment, I tried to get her to open up. "Why did you start taking carsunum in the first place, anyway?" I asked. "How did you get here?" My tone was gentle and compassionate. It was heartbreaking to see such a young woman with her life so messed up like this.

[Aelyn]

Aelyn could admit that she didn't have any firsthand experience with mind-altering drugs, but she'd at least heard of carsunum. It was some kind of highly illegal spice. The fact that Liv was willing to ask for it here in a hospital suggested how addicted she had become. Breaking a dependency like that could take days or even weeks depending on the drug or spice. She had no idea what Liv was looking at for this particular addiction, though, but it promised to be an unpleasant stay.

 

She hoped that Liv could walk out of here clean and stay that way. But for now Aira was taking the lead on the questions, so Aelyn continued to study the teenager in the Force, trying to understand her a bit more.

[Liv]

Liv grasped at the offered capsule and desperately inhaled the small particles held inside. Her nostrils were still recovering and screamed at her with renewed sensation, but she silenced the painful vote of conscience as best she could. It was what she needed. It was what she wanted. But it wasn’t enough.

 

Her mind started to soften. Perception started to grow fuzzy, but the pain was still pushing through. Desperation shook the capsule for more, but it was clear that this negligible high was all she would get. Tragically, she felt her eyes sting as the hollow capsule brushed air across her cheek. It wasn’t fair. Why did this happen? When did this happen? You only have yourself to blame.

 

She tested her arms again, but neither of them wanted to move. She tried to sit up again, but her back cried out. It was maddening, and if Liv’s throat wasn’t already burning, she might have tried to push her way out of her neo-comatose state. She wanted more. She wanted the pain to go away. She wanted her ghosts to stop haunting her. She wanted her mom. Why did she have to leave? Why did she have to die before I could tell her how I really felt?

 

Tears streamed from Liv’s eyes, making it even harder to open them. Her tremors slightly intensified, but she managed to stay on the bed due to the bed restraints. She tried to speak through the tears, but it was hard to form words at first, so she waited until her tears subsided a little before trying again. “Y-you don’t understand. I need it. I need to let go. I don’t want the pain to come back. It’s… It’s too much.”

 

Liv coughed. Burning fire seared the inner lining of her throat and she winced at the sensation, falling back to cold headrest. When the intensity of her pain extinguished, her expression softened beneath the red puffiness of her tear-strewn face. Why keep everything from these people? They seem nice enough. You sure about that? No. But I’m not sure of anything anymore.

 

“I was looking for someone and I ran out of scratch. I needed to get more, so I hooked up with a smuggler's crew. It was pretty swell at first. I had no idea what we were haulin'. But that didn't bother me. When a few of the others were trying the ‘stuff,’ they offered a little to me. I wasn't sure at first, but it started to bug me. I wanted to try some, so I gave it a hit. And that was where all of it went to a pile of steamy dwang.” Liv’s speech was pockmarked with staccato coughs and stuttering. “After that I tried to steal a case of the stuff and was beaten til I was bleeding and out of breath. Then they kicked me from the crew. I scrimmed a handful of capsules, but they had most of it. I managed to keep my jewels though, which… was nice. As far as why I ended up here, my mom and I used to come here. She reminded me that there were places I could go if I was in trouble. But, as high as I was, I couldn’t remember where they were, so I ran to the dwang district capital of Borleias to hide from the authorities. Carsunum ain't exactly legal y’know…”

[Aelyn]

It wasn't a happy tale, but Aelyn hadn't expected one. Liv had endured several tough breaks and made some bad choices along the way. It never seemed fair to Aelyn how sometimes you had to pay for some mistakes over and over while others just kind of got resolved or otherwise disappeared without much of a fuss. Few times did the consequences spiral as completely out of control as they had for Liv, though.

 

"I'm sorry all of that happened to you," she said. There was still some part of her that was horrified that Liv had actually taken a life because of it. Ultimately, however, she knew that any attempt she could make to put herself in Liv's position would be inadequate, and because of that she would forgive it or at least let the law settle it. "I know we only just met, Liv, but please believe me when I say that I want to help. You have a great opportunity right now to get back on the right track. But it will never work if you aren't willing to accept it.

 

"Do you think that's something you can do?" Even if Liv said yes, Aelyn wasn't sure what the next steps would be, but she was beginning to trust the Force. Maybe the path would become clear at just the right time, like it had to lead her to the warehouse in the first place.

[Aira Cadan]

"You can't keep running from the pain," I added quietly. "It will always catch up with you until you deal with it."

 

Then I fell silent, waiting to see what Liv would say. She was at a branching point. Which direction would she choose?

[Liv]

• Do you think that's something you can do?

• • You can't keep running from the pain

• • • It will always catch up with you until you deal with it

She felt feelings of warmth and comfort emanate from their votes of compassion, but those concepts were distant to her. She didn’t know what either of them looked like. They didn’t know who she was. What was their motivation?

 

• Who even were these people?

Why was she here?

• What was she going to do now?

 

Where would she go?

• How did she plan on doing anything?

 

Questions defied answers and continued to swim violently through her pounding head. She cursed inwardly at her scattered brain, but there was very little she could do. Her body was distant and unattainable. All she could smell was rubbing alcohol. And she was in immense pain. A strong part of her still wanted Carsunum. The familiar sensations of pleasure and burning that ran hand in hand through her nose were now unpleasant and scratchy. Her throat was a bed of sore acid and it only worsened with time. She tried to open her eyes again but found only resistance.

 

I just want to curl up and die right now…

 

Is that what you want mom? Is that why you left me here? To feel the pain you left behind? To feel the pain that I inflicted on you? Well, it sucks. It kriffing sucks and I want it to stop.

 

But that’s just it. It won’t stop until I stop. That’s what ‘whoever’ just said. I can’t stop the pain unless I stop the pain. It seems like a weird idea, but I must learn to let go of you. I have to let you out. It’s the only way I can get through this.

 

Liv’s eyes, or the puffy masses that stood in their place, welled with tears again. Hot liquid stung her wounds and Liv’s sobbing rocked her body against the hospital bed.

 

“I can tr-y.” Liv started to say. Her voice cracked under duress. She was about to renew her answer to see if she could muster a more convincing response when her body seized up and violent tremors started to shake her. The heart monitors started to beep violently, and before long, Liv was pushed back into unconsciousness.

 

A voice slithered from Liv’s quiet immobile form. It was cold, dark, and strangely, musical. It was the voice of a little girl.

 

You can’t have her. She is mine. Her pain is mine. She is a menagerie of despair and it fits my needs.

[Aira Cadan]

It seemed like the girl was ready to take a chance to get better. I was encouraged. But then something happened. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. Some...spirit of some sort maybe? It started to speak out of Liv's mouth as her body slumped into unconsciousness.

 

I immediately put myself between Liv and Aelyn. Fear shot through me, but I bled it into the Force. I had never seen anything like this before. Perhaps it was a Sith spirit of some sort? But it wasn't speaking like one...

 

Regardless, I trusted my instincts, and my instincts were telling me to get the kriff out of there. I stepped backward, firmly pushing Aelyn towards the exit. I said nothing, but the urgency in my look must have convinced my apprentice. We left the room and headed out of the hospital, making our way back to our hotel in silence.

 

Only once we were back in our suite did I finally breathe easy again. "I have no idea what in the galaxy just happened."

[Aelyn]

Rather thoroughly spooked, Aelyn raised no objection to their swift retreat back to the hotel. She was relieved that, whatever horrible things Aira had seen during the war and in her other service to the Order, supernatural-seeming events of this variety at least were not normal.

 

"I've never seen anything close to that," she said, clearly agitated. "Was that, like, a Force thing? Or maybe some kind of emerging episode of multiple personality disorder?"

 

She sat down on the bed, calming herself. The whole thing seemed like a scene from some weird horror holofilm. She liked a lot of holofilms, but latching onto the idea that what was being depicted wasn't actually real was key to dealing with the supernatural. What had just happened with Liv, however, was not some grotesque depiction of invented terrors for the sake of theatricality, but something all too real.

 

Part of Aelyn still found the idea of opening herself to the Force, and thus what seemed before to be supernatural, unnerving for that reason -- it forced the skeptic in her to acknowledge the world unseen. But when she actually touched the energy field and felt how it embraced life and goodness and balance and compassion, it chased away the lingering shadows. Whatever real thing was happening to Liv, they were still meant to help her.

 

"Let's let her sleep and recover and check in on her tomorrow, okay? I don't think we're meant to be done in there," she told Aira.

[Liv]

Long frigid claws of darkness gripped Liv's fragile consciousness as the hospital fell asleep for the night. Her wan expression imprinted itself on the cold fibers of her drool-moistened bed rest. Orderlies made passing appearances, adding to her IV and checking her vitals, but aside from minimal monitoring, Liv was left alone to sleep.

 

Like a dirge, haunting her dreams, an oppressive force of dread drifted into the room and hung over her, adding to the corona of energy that gravitated to her prone form.

 

Her consciousness drifted deeper. The velvet black of her eyelids embraced her cold reality and left everything drifting in a void of clarity.

 

Everything drifted, listless and unformed.

 

A voice, quiet at first, rang out in Liv’s mind.

"Poor Livvy.

 

All alone.

 

Again.

 

Except... you have me." The voice said in sing-song cadence.

 

A ragged child-like form emerged, lit only by a dim beam that shone from the void. The invader’s faded blue floral-patterned dress was torn and tattered. Its face was dirty and bruised, but its expression was predatory: its big green eyes were wild and intensely focused on Liv's projected form. Its mouth was crooked in a lethal half-smile and its features were sharp and gaunt.

 

The added damage took nothing away from the sense of foreboding deja vu that grew deep in Liv's heart.

 

"You always have me. Those girls; they don't deserve you. No one deserves you. You are a force all on your own. You don't need them."

 

Its voice was melodic, but harsh; musical, but cold.

"They wanted to help me," Liv responded. Her voice was weakened and frail to reflect her current maladies.

 

"Sure, they did, that's why they left you here; alone."

 

Liv's thoughts were troubled. She stirred under the covers of her hospital bed and groaned when the pain lit anew; a fire in her mind.

 

"All they did was take your spice away. They gave you words and denied you joy. They don't *really* care about you. They only care about themselves."

"No. they said I could get better, that they would help."

 

"Yes, they did, but where are they now? What actions have they to show for their empty words?"

 

"They took me to the hospital. They stood by me when I needed someone."

 

"But where are they now?" the invader repeated. "They asked if you wanted to be helped and then ran away. They don’t see the pain you’re in. They don’t want to help. They told you what they wanted you to hear. Only I know what’s best for you. Only I can give you the joy you deserve. Only I can take away the pain that, even now, squirms its way through your brain."

 

"How?"

 

"Watch and learn."

Liv's body drifted away from her. The world around her stirred with sound, but the pain in her body slowly muted. She smiled at the cathartic release. To silence the stinging crescendo of pain, even for a moment, was refreshing. But amidst the euphoria, a small sensation tugged at the back of her mind, attempting to show her the shadow that lurked beneath. Anxiously, Liv tried to brush her left-hand through her matted down mohawk, but the synapses failed to run the length of her nerves, ending instead, at her elbow. A cackling bout of laughter sang from deep within her in response to her attempt and sickening popping noises filled her ears as her crippled body rose from its resting place, like a demented marionette tangled amidst its strings.

 

Liv's puffy eyes lit up with red smoke, and a twisted smile morphed her lips. Her body stood upright on the cold tile floor, but it slumped at an impossible angle.

 

What are you doing!?! Liv thought, emphatically.

 

Having fun... The invader breathed. Each word pressed into Liv’s mind like an ice cube on her spine. Spikes of fevered panic shot to her brain and she did whatever she could to regain control. The invader scoffed at her efforts and left Liv to her own devices. What could she do?

 

Liv’s body’s feet moved forward at an involuntary trudge. Its arms pulled the IV out and proceeded, unhindered, toward the nearest orderly.

 

NO!

 

A blast of furious energy smashed outward, destroying the electronics in Liv's room and violently slamming her bed against the transparisteel window opposing the open doorway.

What?

 

The invader started to lose control of the teenager’s flesh. The strings were cut one at a time and Liv’s body sunk deeper to the floor. The invader fled back to Liv's mind to try and wrestle control from her. But what it saw, was perplexing.

 

Neon fluorescent stage lighting brought a dynamic theme to a previously dreary horizon. The invader saw Liv's metaphysical manifestation standing at the center of a grand stage, holding a wicked looking dual-necked guitar that breathed fire with every note.

 

"What!? Why?"

 

The invader stood, interrogating the scene before her.

 

Liv, playing a riff before scowling in defiance, spit toward the edge of the stage. Her outfit was garish and shiny, glittering gold in the powerful stage lights. Her guitar roared flames into the illusory sky and smoke filled the darkness as invisible fans rooted her on.

 

"You forgot one thing Princess Stoopa. This is my mind!" Liv sang, slamming into a crazy lick and swinging her mohawk up and down. The raging inferno of her guitar seared technicolor burns into the black, inciting more cheers from her phantom fans.

"You were weak, tired... How did you muster this much energy?"

"Because I'm an obstinate schutta and I don't give a flying kriff what you think," Liv yelled, warring against the pain that shot back at her with every bit of control that she seized.

 

In Liv's room, the teenager was sliding around like a drunk gungan on a terrible Friday night. From the outside: she smashed into the counters, slammed into the broken machinery, hit the transparisteel window, and flailed with wild seizures all around the confines of her modest room. Any time her body tried to leave, it hit an invisible wall and ran straight back in. On the inside: Liv was wracked with pain and coordinating a battle of the bands with the force that was trying push her out.

 

It was hectic and stressful, but after a time, Liv's strength waned and her body fell to the floor, pierced by fragments of broken glass and battered by hospital instruments. Copper smells filled the room as what was left of the teenager’s vitality spilled across the debris. Her will warred in silence while the shrapnel of her body tried to rest.

 

The orderlies that caught Liv out of bed a few minutes after her episode started, but were too terrified to enter, called CoreSec and emergency services to remove her as soon as possible. CoreSec’s response was swift if a little laggy due to the time of day.

 

 

___________________________

 

 

 

Officer Samuels scratched his head. It was the second time, in less than twenty-four hours, that he had been called to deal with this particular teenager. But this time, he really had no clue what to make of the situation.

 

They moved Liv to a heavy duty durasteel bacta tank located inside the nearby CoreSec outpost. And a diligent staff was monitoring and fixing her wounds to the best of their ability. Considering the damage she did to the hospital room, the heavy steel shielding of the tank was more for their protection than hers.

 

Officer Phillip Samuels found no wounded or deceased at the scene, aside from the young girl. But the property damage and severity of her wounds prompted immediate action. It was the next step that confused him. Samuels rummaged around in his desk for a few moments and found the number he was looking for. It belonged to the ladies that found the teenager yesterday afternoon, and when he was ready, he sent them a message outlying the situation:

 

"Hello, Captain Aira Cadan. The young teenager you brought to Kimble General Hospital hospital the other day had a psychotic breakdown last night. Or at least, that's how this incident is being documented. The cameras show an interesting story. But the most interesting of all is that it seemed like she was actively stopping herself from leaving her room. She's a bit worse for wear I'm afraid, but we're doing what we can for her in an outpost a few blocks from the hospital. We have her effects in our custody, but we had to use hazmat gear to remove them. Each piece of metal is burning hot to the touch. You may want to check that out. The last piece of information we have for you is that, before we moved her, she mentioned you by name."

[Aira Cadan]

I slowly nodded. "I think you're right, Aelyn. I don't know what's happening, but if anything was made for a Jedi to get involved, it was that."

 

After grabbing a late breakfast, the two of us headed to a gym, where I knew we could reserve private rooms. Shutting the door behind us, I turned to Aelyn. "Alright," I told her. "Today we're going to work on some physical skills. Jedi can use the Force to increase our abilities." Reaching out with the Force, I leapt vertically, slapping the ceiling with my hand before landing gently. Then I used the Force to dash around the room in a blur, faster than the eye could follow. Lastly, I centered myself and slowly began to levitate several inches off the floor.

 

Letting out a breath, I planted my feet on the ground again. "Your turn," I told my padawan.

[Aelyn]

Aelyn raised her eyebrows as Aira casually defied the limitations of how a human could move. She'd already witnessed the Force's ability to defy physics through telekinesis and similar abilities, but this was a whole new application she hadn't known about.

 

At the prospect of now doing it herself with no further instruction, she chewed her lip for a moment and tied her hair up. It was one thing to see someone else do it and another to replicate the feat. It was like when she was a kid, pretending to have superpowers like the heroes in the holofilms -- imagining she could do something didn't change the fact that she had just been running around in the courtyard outside her childhood home. There was always that part of her that knew it wasn't real.

 

But it was different now. She reached out to touch the Force and felt it flowing through her in a way that was no figment of her imagination. She could feel it in her chest, in her arms and in her legs. She channeled it to her hands, felt them brimming with energy. Keeping them at her sides but spreading her fingers facing the floor, she pushed out gently at first, then a bit more firmly, trying to keep the pressure steady. As she pushed down she could feel the floor pushing back up at her, and a moment later her feet lifted a centimeter off the ground.

 

She flashed a grin as she settled back on the floor. I can sort of fly, she thought, delighting in the idea for a moment before setting her focus on the other tasks. They didn't seem so farfetched all of a sudden.

 

Aelyn began to run a lap around the spacious room. Instead of focusing on her footfalls, however, she leaned into the Force. Her first instinct was to reach out around her and experience the signatures of the gym's other patrons, taste the unique flavor of this crowd. But she fought that inclination down and continued to focus on the Force inside her. She began to push it now into her legs, putting her attention onto the sensations of her muscles there. She was well-conditioned for running, it being a frequent morning activity for her and her primary way of staying healthy. Jogging was easy, but this time she would push herself.

 

Speeding up, Aelyn broke into a run and gathered the Force around her. She rounded the corner of the room and suddenly it seemed to propel her forward like an immense tailwind, her thighs practically exploding with energy. With almost no physical effort she seemed to cross the room in just a few long strides, the air blowing past her face like she was leaning out the window of a moving landspeeder.

 

The far wall quickly became a problem and Aelyn tried to stop, her shoes squealing on the floor in vain as her momentum carried her forward. Reaching out again with the Force, she pushed outward against the rapidly approaching wall, trying to cushion herself at the last moment before impact.

 

A second later she was sprawled on the floor, the wind knocked out of her. Still she held up a hand to indicate that she was fine, and after a few moments she regained her feet. "Oof," she said to Aira, looking a little embarrassed. "Remind me to try that again outside."

[Aira Cadan]

Aelyn quickly demonstrated what a fast learner she was, picking up on the new skills with no problems. Well, other than slamming into the wall. Seeing as she wasn't hurt, I chuckled. "Great job," I said, reaching down a hand to help her up. Her wry comment once she was on her feet caused me to laugh again.

 

We moved back to the center of the room. I stopped and grabbed some small lightweight balls. "Alright, great. So you've figured out how to do them. Now the trick becomes being able to do them without thinking, or when you're distracted, or as a defense mechanism. I want you to try again, try combining some of those, and I'm going to try to distract you." I tossed one of the balls in the air and caught it again. Soon I'd be pelting her with them. I grinned.

[Aelyn]

"Alright then," Aelyn said, taking a few steps back to give her some distance from Aira. She hadn't played a game like this in several years, but there was something to be said for repurposing it as a training exercise.

 

Again she called on the Force, waiting for the first ball to come sailing her way. Just before it did, she felt, well, a sort of nudge from her new senses. Momentarily caught up in it, she failed to react, and the ball hit her hip. She frowned for a second, but focused back on Aira, nodding at her Master to continue the exercise.

 

The second time a ball came flying in, Aelyn heeded the nudge and jumped in the direction that it seemed to indicate. As a result she was already out of the path of the throw even as it left Aira's hand. She spoke. "Um, the Force seems to be making this too easy," she said. "It's almost like it warns me before the ball is even thrown. Maybe you can... ramp up the difficulty?"

 

Aira seemed more than willing. Soon she was calling on the Force herself to send multiple balls downrange or attack from multiple angles using the balls that littered the ground due to misses. Aelyn quickly had to adapt to the new circumstances. By trusting her instincts she realized she could stay half a step ahead of the incoming attacks, but there were soon situations where she wasn't fast enough on her own to get out of the way in time. She took a couple hits while she was trying to find the right mental state where she could both be mindful of what the Force was telling her and also focus on shunting power to her legs to enhance her speed and agility.

 

One time she tried a high jump to clear a few projectiles, went higher than she'd thought she would, and nearly hurt herself coming back down to the floor. It turned out jumping was easy, but landing was just like she'd jumped from a second-story window, and she needed the Force to be a part of that, as well.

 

After several minutes she'd worked up a good sweat and was starting to grow tired, but she was starting to evade like an expert, the Force coming easily to her in such a state. As they were winding down, it occurred to her that this was probably one of the reasons Jedi were so good at defending themselves. She had to admit the thought wasn't entirely pleasant, and it scared her a little to think that she was already starting to discover the skills that could make her a warrior, something she really hoped she would never be.

 

Suddenly she recalled the dead man in the warehouse again. The game-like exercise had taken her mind off of it for a few hours, but the cadaver was a cold reminder of the darkness that lurked around the edges of the path before her. "Maybe we can take a break," she said to Aira, her voice betraying her mental shift.

[Aira Cadan]

Aelyn's emotions suddenly went from thrilled exhilaration to quietly serious, and I knew she had suddenly realized the point of the exercise. "I see you realize what this is all about," I said, handing her a water bottle off the rack. "You know that Jedi are often in dangerous situations. Each of those balls I was throwing could have been a blaster bolt. You need to learn to evade them--in order to protect yourself and others." I put a hand on her shoulder. "I know you don't like to think about it, but part of our job is to put ourselves in those situations so others don't have to."

 

I glanced at my chrono, noting that we had already been here for a while. But I wasn't going to let up. "We can't afford a break, Aelyn. We need to build up your stamina. Tap into the Force to rejuvenate yourself, and let's go again."

 

I sensed her reluctance, but she wasn't going to disobey me. We began the exercise again, and I varied my attacks, adding more than just balls to the mix. None of the equipment in the room was safe. Aelyn was clearly more distracted, but as she went on, she began to gain the clarity of focus that the task required. I was pleased to see that she was able to put her feelings aside when the job called for it; that was a key aspect of being a Jedi.

 

After 45 more minutes, I finally let her stop. Both of us were sweaty now, although Aelyn much more so. We both grabbed water to rehydrate our bodies, and I decided that I wouldn't waste any time. "Aelyn, what do you think is the nature of the dark side?"

[Aelyn]

For now, Aelyn willed herself to be focused on the exercise, though it quickly started to become grueling. She did find that when she drew on the Force, the current took a lot of her exhaustion with it when it washed through her. Her muscles protested and her sweat soaked through her clothing, but somehow the energy field kept her moving and thinking. She began to tackle the challenge like she did rehearsing music as she had done during her school days -- by constantly examining what she needed to do to improve and then forcing herself to make adjustments and not fall into bad habits. Although it was physically strenuous, mentally it was almost meditative, because even as she commanded her body she was studying the Force, soaking in the information it was providing to her. It was so complex and so beautiful that it seemed impossible that it wasn't intelligent.

 

Philosophically she found she could justify self-defense training. Though she never wanted to hurt anyone, being able to keep herself alive if she found herself in dangerous situations was surely permissible. The way the Force gave her a glimpse of the future clearly showed that it was no perversion of the lofty ideals of the Jedi Code to rely on it in such a way. She found that she was starting to look to the Force itself as some sort of source of moral objectivity. It was after all a seemingly-opinionated force of nature that could not be twisted by the sophistry and naturalistic reductionsim of modern society, which to Aelyn no longer seemed sufficient to explain the universe.

 

The exercise still seemed to last nearly forever, and Aelyn was relieved when Aira finally relinquished her assault and instead passed her some water. As she drank, Aelyn paced, but then finally made her way over to a bench when the older Jedi hit her with a question.

 

The redhead kind of shrugged. "The dark side? I think you told me on Tython that it's another part of the Force, and a deadly one," she recalled. "From my experiences so far, I would have to say that it's sort of like the concept of evil, and that it similarly does not occur in nature but is rather the result of people's selfishness. However it is that we sentients are different from the beasts, it seems that we have a lot of ways of screwing up otherwise-good things. I have to admit that it would be really easy to use all these powers I'm discovering to get myself ahead in the galaxy, so it doesn't surprise me to hear that some people use it that way."

[Aira Cadan]

I shook my head. "Do you think the ends justify the means? There'll be times when you have to make a decision, an ethical or moral decision. Sometimes you'll have to choose between saving one, like Liv, and many, like the rest of those addicts. How will you make that decision?"

 

I wanted to give her as many opportunities to say it as I could. "You speak of evil and the dark side as remote. But you just saw a manifestation of it. It's not mystical, it's real. When you get down and dirty, the dark side is always there. What will you do when it speaks to you? What do you think it will say? Remember, the dark side will always offer you the quicker, easier path."

[Aelyn]

"No, like I said before, the ends don't justify the means," Aelyn refuted, knitting her eyebrows, a little bit agitated. "I wish I could help everybody, but taking on a task that big causes people to lose sight of what's actually important. It becomes about solving a systemic problem rather than meeting the needs of individuals. That doesn't mean that no one should try to solve the big problems, but I am willing to accept the fact that it might be beyond my means, or just not be my calling."

 

She stood up again and resumed her pacing. "I really want to help the other people we saw in the warehouse, and I really wish we could have gotten there in time to save that man's life. But in the moment, I touched the Force and it told me to help Liv," she explained. "I can't say what would have happened if I ignored it, but it seemed like the Force was calling for me to have compassion for her even when I was angry that she killed someone."

 

Aelyn paused and looked at her teacher. "Is that okay? I don't know what to think about it. I like helping people in this way. I'd rather work in a soup kitchen for an afternoon than become a political activist because I feel like I've made an actual tangible difference, however small. But can we really help Liv and abandon the other people that were there? Are they really lost causes?"

 

Maybe she wasn't ready to accept an objective morality that would decide who was worthy of help. But on the other hand, could she really expect to make those kinds of calls herself? More likely she would slip into decision paralysis and help no one.

 

She sighed and collapsed back on the bench. "It's complicated. Maybe all we can do is listen to the Force."

[Aira Cadan]

I put a hand on Aelyn's shoulder as she collapsed back on the bench. "That is exactly what we have to do. We have to trust the Force. It led you to help Liv, and Liv specifically. It doesn't mean we don't have compassion for the others, or try to help them if we can, but the Force made it clear that Liv was the one who we could help. Everything happens for a reason, and the Force guides us to do things that have lasting ramifications for good in the galaxy. When it comes down to it, it's the everyday person that a Jedi should be helping. And yeah, sometimes the Force calls us to bigger things, but I've found that those things always start on the individual level. I mean, take what happened in the Death Star battle. Do you think I went into that fight thinking that my actions would lead to a galaxy-wide ceasefire and the formation of a new government? No. When I looked into Raven's eyes, all I saw was one young woman, and a chance to make things better for her and for her people and for mine. My focus was that one individual skirmish; everything that came afterward was a ripple effect. Who knows what repercussions helping Liv will have? Perhaps it will somehow affect systematic change for all of those poor beings we encountered. We may never know. We simply have a choice; a choice to be obedient to whatever the Force calls us to do, and leave the results up to it. It will use us to accomplish it's purposes if we only listen and do what it guides us to do."

 

I squeezed her shoulder. "Maybe you're not ready to believe that, and if so, I understand. A lot of people don't even believe in the existence of the Force. I can only speak from my own experience, and trust that as the Force speaks to you, you'll realize the same things I have."

 

I dropped my hand. "But you didn't answer the second part of my question. What do you think the dark side will say when it tempts you? What do you think it will tempt you to do? Or maybe you don't know yourself well enough to answer that question yet? Not everyone does."

[Aelyn]

It would take time, Aelyn knew, for her to really start trusting the Force as much as it seemed a Jedi needed to. It required her to shelve her own thoughts and emotions and act as directed. She'd valued her independence tremendously, and worked hard to be as good a person as she could. Sacrificing part of her volition in obedience to some other power was a bizarre and thought in a pseudo-religious way, even if that power was in this case more like a set of guidelines leading her to be an agent of harmony rather than an actual intelligent deity. She wondered how she would think back on these first steps a few years from now.

 

But she was still avoiding the question about the dark side. The problem was, she hadn't really experienced such temptations yet, and she didn't know what form they took.

 

"I don't know," she said. "The dark side isn't an intelligence, so how can it tempt me? I know the things I struggle with. Sometimes I want to be lazy or focus on myself."

 

She paused for a moment and chewed her lip again. "I keep saying that the ends don't justify the means but I'm worried that they will start. I've never been exposed to the kind of situations that you and other Jedi have. And I don't understand how you and Admiral Starlisk could be willing to wage galactic war without accepting that the tremendous loss that comes with it as being somehow worth it."

[Aira Cadan]

I nodded. "That's alright. The dark side will tempt you at some point. My job is just to make you aware of that and give you the tools to resist it as much as possible whenever it does try." Aelyn still didn't really believe enough to be a Jedi. But that was alright. I didn't expect her to learn everything in the course of a few short weeks. Even if our Order today didn't train people for as long as the Order did in the time of the Republic, there was still much for her to learn before I would call her a full Jedi.

 

Then she brought up the war again. I sighed. "It was worth it, Aelyn. I fully believe that. The Empire run by the Sith was defeated. The Sith are even being actively hunted now, which means that trillions of innocents have a better chance at living out their lives in peace instead of in fear. To me, that makes it worth it. The soldiers that died did so because they believed it too." I crossed my arms. "I know your philosophy is different than mine, and that's fine. I'm willing to answer any questions you have further about it."

 

I dropped my hands to my sides. "As for the future, don't worry. Until you learn to trust the Force instinctively, I'll be here, and I'll always be around if you need guidance. That is, if you'll take it from a soldier-turned-Jedi like me."

[Aelyn]

Aelyn finally gave a half smile. "I'm committed to seeing this through. When I touch the Force, it seems that within it everything is right and good, and I can never go back from that. I know my perspective may shift over time -- these things change even without the Force," she said. "I just hope there is room in the Order for different perspectives. You seem pretty open to letting me discover it for myself rather than teaching me your philosophy, so there's hope at least."

 

She looked around the gym. She'd worked up quite a sweat and her clothing was soaked through with sweat, but it always seemed like some of the worst sweating happened only after you stopped moving and sat down for a few minutes. She was starting to feel legitimately gross by this point and she knew she must have looked a mess with her flushed face and tangle of long red hair. She brushed some of that hair behind her ear and found her hand unsteady due to fatigue.

 

"I could use a sanisteam and a little recuperation time," she told Aira. "Are we good here?"

[Aira Cadan]

"Yeah, we're good, go ahead," I replied. "You know, why don't you take the afternoon off? Do whatever you'd like. We'll make sure we see the--what was it, a comet?--tonight." I could tell Aelyn needed some time to do some thinking, and I was happy to give it to her. "And then tomorrow maybe we'll go see that girl again."

 

I hadn't forgotten about the druggie girl, but I knew 24 hours clean would be good for her, and there wasn't much we could do until then. For my part, I planned on making some comm calls. Master Kirlocca had wanted us to keep in touch, and I wanted to update him on our status.

[Aelyn]

"Meteor shower," Aelyn said. "It'd be a shame to miss that, but it goes on for a few nights. I'll call you later and we can meet up."

 

She was happy to spend time with Aira, and saw her as a friend as well as a mentor. But she also liked the idea of striking off again to see Laikos like she had Hanna City, trying to get a feel for the culture without necessarily trying to turn everything into a Jedi exercise. Like studying for exams, it helped to take breaks and not think about something for a little while before revisiting and reinforcing it later.

 

And yet, even as she headed back to the hotel for a sanisteam, she immediately found herself tapping gently into the Force. Although these seemingly-supernatural senses were still brand new to her, she was thoroughly addicted to how it made her feel connected to the lives of those around her. She could get glimpses of who individuals were even without talking to them, like she was being introduced to characters in a vast play, only the characters had a lifetime of experiences rather than only what served their narrow role in a premeditated plot. There were no main characters in the universe, and she was no greater than anyone she passed, even if she never saw to spoke to them again.

 

After her shower, Aelyn changed into something appropriate for a day out in the city and realized how hungry the exercise had made her. She quickly realized from a holonet search that Borleais was such a melting pot of cultures that it didn't have much of a culinary identity of its own except how it scraped things together from whoever had immigrated. So she found a place called The Melting Pot that was known for doing that well.

 

The restaurant was organized around a series of large flat-topped grills with built-in bowl-like portions and other unusual structures. As a result, multiple parties were seated together around these grills and the food was prepared in front of them. The menu was astonishing. A huge variety of meats, vegetables, and sauces from all over the Colonies and up the Namadii Corridor. There was Bilbringi fire sauce, Dorin specialty sea food, and a list of vegetables from a planet called Glee Anselm. Half of the items Aelyn couldn't even identify, and she loved it. Knowing what something was took away half the adventure of trying it for the first time.

 

She was seated between two couples, one of which were accompanied by a teenager she assumed was their son. The way the father half-turned his back to her when they sat down, she figured they weren't used to being seated with strangers, but the couple on her left actually gave her a friendly smile.

 

Aelyn returned the smile and gestured at the menu. "It's my first time here," she said. "Any idea what's good?"

[Aira Cadan]

As Aelyn headed out, I took a deep breath and centered myself. The girl was a challenge. I wondered if I had ever asked this many questions to Master Onderin. Probably not, I mused. He was always off fighting another battle, and the war took us often in different directions. Honestly, it's a miracle I even was able to complete my training.

 

But that was, I realized, where the source of my recent uneasiness had come from. Who was I to train Aelyn? If I was honest with myself, I barely felt like a Jedi these days. It felt like I was just playing the part, an actor on a holodrama. Was it because of some lack of training on Onderin's part? Was it due the decline of the Order? I wasn't sure I was the best person to train Aelyn. Not only might I not make her a very good Jedi, but there was a greater risk--that a fault on my part could allow her to be corrupted by the dark side, and then I would have unleashed another monster on the galaxy. The possibility gnawed at me. I took another deep breath and immersed myself into the current of the Force. There was nothing I could gain by worrying.

 

I wished I could ask Onderin's advice. I knew he was here, somewhere, in the Force, but right now, I felt very alone.

[Aelyn]

"Personally I love just about anything they put in the geezo sauce," the wife answered.

 

"It really is the best," the husband chipped in. "Even better with seafood if you ask me."

 

Aelyn smiled and surveyed the list of meats. "Perfect, I'll have to try it out. I'm Aelyn by the way."

 

"Caellendra," the woman introduced herself. "And this is my husband Jarius. I guess you're not from around here?"

 

"Coruscant actually," Aelyn said. "You two must be regulars."

 

"You could say that." A twinkle entered Caellendra's eye.

 

Suddenly the husband waved. "Hey Masmano!"

 

Pushing a hovercart teeming with a cornucopia of unfamiliar foodstuffs came a stout, four-armed Xexto wearing an apron and hat. He gave what passed in his species for a smile. "Ah, Jarius and Caellendra. My favorite customers." Flipping a small object out of his cart, he hit a button and a quartet of legs popped out, revealing it to be a stepping-stool, which he tossed on the floor in front of the grill and mounted almost ceremoniously. "You'll want your usual orders then?"

 

"I'll take whatever she's having," Aelyn said.

 

As Masmano started deftly preparing their meals, his arms whirled about in such a way that added considerable showmanship to the experience. Every move had a flourish and it was almost mesmerizing to watch.

 

"So Aelyn, what brought you here from Coruscant?" Jarius asked.

 

"The meteor shower was a lot of it," she admitted. She didn't like feeling like a tourist, but she couldn't deny that was part of the draw. "Never seen it before. But also my studies."

 

"Your studies?" Caellendra asked. "Are you a student?"

 

Aelyn twisted her lip slightly as she watched the chef toss several ingredients up in the air and slice through them with ease as they fell. She imagined it took considerable practice to do anything that well, but the Xexto also had a naturally high dexterity that was intrinsic to their species. "What if I told you I'm training to become a Jedi?"

 

"Like, for real?" It was Masmano that spoke, pausing his whirl of knives and spatulas for a moment. Aelyn noticed that she suddenly had the attention of the family seated on the other side of her as well. "Can you, like, move this allee bean around with your mind?"

 

"Sorry, don't think I should," Aelyn said. "Really, forget I said anything."

 

Masmano shrugged and kept working, but Caellendra shot her an exaggeratedly dubious look. "Yeah, okay Miss Jedi."

 

Aelyn shrugged. "So, what about you? What do you do?"

[Aira Cadan]

As the Force flowed through me, I was reminded of the path that had brought Aelyn and I together. The Force had a plan for her, that much was clear. And I believed that path was with the Jedi. She would make a great one, I knew, if only she could get over her doubts and hesitations and just trust the Force. I didn't understand what the issue was. I had trusted the Force immediately, the first time I had felt it. I had known immediately that it was real, that it had a task for me. Perhaps it was because of how I was raised. My parents had always taught me that the Force guided everyone, not just Jedi. The Jedi were its tools, its servants--but the ordinary people of the galaxy were what made up the life force from which it flowed. It seemed that Ambassador Talis had raised Aelyn differently. I shook my head. The ambassador always had been a very practical man.

 

I rose and headed back to the hotel. Aelyn was already gone off exploring, so I took a sanisteam, put on some clean clothing, and sat down at the computer terminal. First, I sent a message to Master Kirlocca. I wanted the Wookiee's advice about Aelyn, and I wanted her exposed to other Jedi hopefuls and apprentices. I remembered the friends I had made during my first months, and how they had done wonders for helping me feel like I could belong in the Order.

 

Then I used the computer terminal to link into the encrypted Jedi archive access and downloaded some vids and manuals for Aelyn. If I didn't feel like my wisdom was good enough in this situation, then certainly the writings, memoirs, and lives of previous Jedi who had gone before might connect with the girl. I also included some educational vids about the broad different paths a Jedi could follow, hoping that Aelyn would be inspired by one. That would give our training some specific direction.

 

Once my work was done, I stood up and headed back downstairs, intending on a walk and perhaps a meal.

[Aelyn]

Lunch turned out to be great. Caellendra was assertive and outgoing, and Jarius was offbeat and laid-back. They spent their days in offices and their evenings out on the town, and had a ravenous appetite for trying whatever was new in Laikos, despite mixed results. The food was also good -- though its elements may have been borrowed from a variety of cultures, it was more than the sum of its parts, a unique arrangement of seemingly-disparate ingredients and flavors into new dishes that could only be found on Borleias.

 

After hanging around for an hour, though, the couple had to move on, and so Aelyn also made her departure. She couldn't help but, once she'd stood up, slide her chair back up against the table with just the slightest application of the Force. She winked at Caellendra, who'd noticed the minor feat, and made her swift departure back out to the city streets.

 

The afternoon was still young and so she decided to indulge in a bit more tourism before meeting back up with Aira. There was a large museum of science in Laikos and every year, coinciding with the meteor shower, they did an elaborate exhibit about deep-space objects and the astronomical history of the solar system. Aelyn was more interested in people and cultures than science, but it sounded like a unique experience and she didn't want to pass it up since it was possible she would never get another chance to go. She immediately set out and caught a taxi to get there.

 

She was pleased to find that the exhibit was immersive and engaging. It featured several expansive full-room holograms detailing the gravity-generated path that a vast field of rocks and asteroids took around the system and went into the science of it, but beyond that it explored Borleias' cultural history surrounding the celestial event. There was a vast mythological tradition that was closely tied to the visible constellations and the meteor shower itself, which was so consistent that early Borlesians had come to know it as a herald of the summer months in the northern hemisphere and as a harbinger of harsh winters in the southern half of the globe. Although the myths had long since left common belief, the cultural background had provided a sort of context for the world's modern-day culture, and the characters of the stories had lent their names to regions and cities, including Laikos itself.

 

By the time she was leaving the museum, she only had a little downtime before she caught a very light and leisurely dinner and then headed back to the hotel, hoping to get a little bit of time to read or meditate before the meteor shower.

[Aira Cadan]

About an hour later, I found myself outside a small cafe bordering a tree-lined avenue. I had recently crossed into a nicer part of town, and the passersby grew richer and richer in appearance. I began to feel a little self-conscious. A Jedi could blend in in any environment, and it was not uncommon for us to associate with the highest ranking officials, but I had always felt uncomfortable around gregarious displays of wealth. It was one thing to meet with the Imperial Remnant Head of State; meeting with a snobby upper-class Borleiasian was something else.

 

The cafe seemed small and clean, though, and I was hungry, so I took a table inside and ordered a sandwich with local meat and fresh greens, and a small Coruscanti-imported scrai-drop soup to go with it. I stayed lost in my thoughts until the food came, and once it did, I ate quickly. After paying my tab and ignoring the way the waitress looked down her nose at my plain Jedi robes, I exited the cafe, glancing at my chrono as I did so. I had some spare time, but I figured I might as well head back to the hotel and wait for Aelyn to return.

 

As I made my way back through the streets of Laikos, a scream suddenly shattered the air. I immediately reached out with the Force, although it didn't take my Force senses to see the speeder careening out of control through the city streets, scattering pedestrians as it jumped onto the pedway. I dashed forward, dropping my cloak on the permacrete. The speeder was heading for a large open-air market that was just beginning to close up for the day. An application of the Force gave me a burst of speed, and I darted up beside it then jumped and landed, crouching, on the hood. The driver was a pale green Twi'lek male, although I wasn't sure if the green was his natural skin color or a clue to the source of the sloppy smelly liquid splashed on the seat beside him.

 

He swerved in an attempt to miss a Gran pedestrian and shrieked loudly. "It won't stop! It won't stop! It won't stopppp!"

 

That was enough information for me. I swung over the windscreen and got better footing. Igniting my lightsaber, I plunged it into the engine. It sputtered, and then as the momentum ceased suddenly, the driver and I were thrown from the vehicle. In mid-air, I released my lightsaber and grabbed the Twi'lek, using my body as a shield to break his fall and rolling together as we landed. There was a loud crash as the speeder flipped over and crashed into a fruit stand. After one final shudder, all was still.

 

After a moment, I rolled to my feet. "Are you alright?" I asked the driver.

 

He nodded. "You...why didn't it stop?"

 

I shook my head. "I'm not sure. I'll take a look at it if you'd like."

 

He nodded again. Emergency services were already converging on the scene. In the chaos, I slipped up to the speeder and took at look at the now-exposed undercarriage, pausing only to reclaim my lightsaber and stow it back on my belt. I focused on the brake systems. Everything was understandably damaged, but there was no sign of tampering. Finally, I pulled a hose and checked it, finding it empty of brake fluid. I shook my head. It looked like the brakes had failed due to poor maintenance.

 

I crossed back over to the Twi'lek, who was now sitting against a medical emergency vehicle with a blanket over his shoulders, sipping a hot drink. "There's no sign of sabotage," I told him. "It appears your brakes simply failed."

 

He looked a little sheepish. "Thank you so much. I would have been injured or killed if you hadn't stepped in."

 

I smiled slightly. "It was my pleasure. That's what Jedi do."

 

Clapping him on the back, I turned away. I gave a witness testimony to the local police investigating, then retrieved my cloak and continued back to the hotel. I arrived to find Aelyn already there. "Hi," I greeted her. "How was your day?"

[Aelyn]

Aelyn had picked up a holonovel when she'd gotten back. Her mother was a novelist and had instilled an interest in literature in her daughter from a young age. Even now she was always recommending some of her favorite fiction and nonfiction works, and Aelyn had developed her own taste almost as a subset of those, not having quite her mother's appetite for reading. Presently she was reading a story about a teen-aged Twi'lek boy who, through a series of cosmically-improbable but comical circumstances, found himself half a galaxy away from home running with a band of misfits and adventurers bent on stealing back a precious item that had been taken from one of them while posing as a troupe of circus performers.

 

She got thoroughly lost in the story until Aira returned and broke her out of it and back into her own almost-impossible adventure.

 

"It was good, thanks," she said. "I went to an exhibit about the meteor shower. I'll have to share some of what I learned when we go tonight." She glanced at her chrono. "Speaking of which, we should head out in a little bit and find a good place to watch."

 

They quickly decided that they would leave immediately and take their time getting there. The astral phenomenon could be observed from anywhere, so all they really needed was to get away from the city light pollution and to somewhere clear before it got dark.

 

On the way, Aelyn eyed her Master curiously. "If you don't mind me asking, what led you to become a Jedi, and how did you become Master Starlisk's padawan specifically?"