Simple Dreams.

[Artemia]

So I started working on this piece back in November, for National Novel Writing Month. The goal was 50k...I got about 5k into it before the month got crazy school wise. I'm posting a chunk of what I've written here, for some feedback. Still trying to put my finger on a title, so for now as a working title I'm calling it "Simple Dreams". The two main characters are Shana, a young girl at the beginning, and Alexandra, or Lexi, a woman in about her late 20's about. Their relationship in the piece in complicated, and a lot more still has to develop, but I have an idea where it's going to go.

 

Potentially a bit higher rated for some darker themes, though at this point it's mostly implication.

 

For now, I give you the first pieces of "Simple Dreams."

 

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”œTo be or not to be, that is the question:

Whether ”˜tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them.

 

From Hamlet by William Shakespeare

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I was standing at the end of a long gravel driveway. Off to the side, I could see a blue farmhouse, and at the end of the driveway was a large red barn. It was definitely a ranch, the smell in the air told me that. It wasn't unpleasant, but almost comforting in a down home sort of way. A sign on the fence in front of the house read ”œDavies' Ranch.”

[Amidala Skywalker]

Wow...this is really intriguing! It was a little long for one post--something to remember next time you update--but good stuff.

 

You have some grammatical issues here and there, and it took the story a little bit to get going, but now my curiosity is aroused. Why is Lexi seeing all of this? What is the connection between them? Is Shana real?

 

I LOVE the quotes interspersed in it....but now I have to keep going! "To die, to sleep. No more--and by to sleep we say to end the heartaches and the thousand natural sparks that flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep...to sleep--perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give us pause..." Yeah, I'm done.

 

I'll definitely read more if you post it!

[NavyGal]

Definitely agree with what Ami said about this being intriguing. And now I have Sweet Dreams stuck in my head... not that I hate the song, in fact I like it but I will have it stuck in there for ages! *bangs head on wall*

 

Nice work though I will definitely read if you post more. I want to know what the connection with Shana is and if she is real or not.

[DarthBrendo]

I really enjoyed this, and like Ami said, very intrigued as to how the rest of it goes.

[Tiana Calthye]

Making ANY word count in Nanowrimo is better than 0. Grats on getting that far. I don't think this was too much for one post, though it was a bit longer than most people post.

 

I like the quiet beginning. It makes the gentle implications of darker things to come much more creepy. So far it's mostly quiet and happy. But there are little whispers and I hope to see more someday.

[Artemia]

Very glad to get the feedback. And...you're all asking the questions I was hoping you would. So I feel I did something right.

 

As far as the length, this was the chunk of it that I had fully written. Nothing has been edited, in true form of NaNo for me, but it's not all I have written. There's still a small piece, starting with Lexi waking up from that dream, that I have written. Not done yet of course. I'm hoping to find some time in the next few weeks or so to really sit down and work on this piece, it's pretty close to my heart for a number of reasons.

 

Glad you all enjoyed it and are waiting for more. I shall do my best to deliver.