Amidala Skywalker Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 This is a double challenge response! It responds to Tiana's January 08 challenges number 2 and number 6: "Someone bursts into a room with a gun/a bomb/flowers/all three." and "Being or end a story with this line: 'She never saw it coming.'" I hope you enjoy! *** She never saw it coming. How could she? I had only thought of it myself a few minutes before. Smirking at my own ingenuity, I went to the store and picked out the biggest bunch of purple flowers (her favorite color) that I could find””the biggest bunch that was less than 15 credits, that is. In reality, it wasn't that impressive of a bouquet. But when you're a university student, you have to do the best you can on limited funds. The Twi'lek shop helper wrapped them up for me, and I walked the few blocks to her apartment. A rather goofy smile crossing my face, I rode the turbolift up to the 35th floor and raised my hand to knock. However, brilliance struck once again, and instead of knocking, I just burst in, the flowers in hand. She was standing by the window, brushing her hair, but when she heard the door burst open, her well-honed reflexes took over, and she dropped to a crouch and whipped out her palm gun. ”œWhoa! Hey, it's just me!” SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 XD I totally wanted to see someone work gun/flowers into the same challenge, when I wrote that. You totally lived up to it. And two in one! Woot! Yeah, I'd critique it, but I totally need to go to sleep now. I found it a satisfyingly entertaining challenge response, though not your best work. And I really, really love the opening paragraphs there. Definately some fun reading - and sounds like fun writing, too. Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 Very nice Ami! I enjoyed it a lot, and now I want to see more...I'm not really one for critiques, so I'll leave that to Tiana, but it was great. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amidala Skywalker Posted January 25, 2008 Author Share Posted January 25, 2008 Yeah, it's far from my best, but I did have fun writing it. And I wrote it while my students were at recess... So yeah, literally took me 15 minutes. But it was fun. I found myself inadvertently modeling the guy after someone I know... Thanks for the comments. SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obi-here Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 She never saw it coming. How could she? I had only thought of it myself a few minutes before. Smirking at my own ingenuity, I went to the store and picked out the biggest bunch of purple flowers (her favorite color) that I could find””the biggest bunch that was less than 15 credits, that is. In reality, it wasn't that impressive of a bouquet. But when you're a university student, you have to do the best you can on limited funds. That sounds like someone I know...like, me. Like a lot of guys that are in love and just can't wait to see the look on their sweethearts face when they do something romantic and unexpected. Loved that. And...wow. You really got all three in there didn't you? Nice work, Ami. More? "The circle is complete! Now I [Obi-here] am the angst Master!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin T Skywalker Posted March 23, 2008 Share Posted March 23, 2008 That was great! All three... LOL! I must confess, I wondered how you'd do it. When I read the description of the challenge, I thought it meant that ONE person had to burst in, carrying flowers, a gun, and a bomb at the same time! Your way seems a whole lot more reasonable, though! Thanks, Tiana! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amidala Skywalker Posted March 24, 2008 Author Share Posted March 24, 2008 Thanks for reading! Yeah, that probably was the intent behind the challenge. I just took it my way. SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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