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A Padawans Tale


Guest foral

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This is the first of a series of probably three stories, all taking place during the War of the Dimensions stories.

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Prologue: Where it all started

 

Journal Entry 1”¦playback commencing”¦

 

Teenage human male voice: If you're listening to this recording, there are several reasons how you got a hold of it.

 

One, you found it. Either in deep space, or on some planet somewhere, or something.

 

Two, it was in my grave. Now that could be an animal's stomach, or a pit in the earth. Or even next to a jar of ashes.

 

Three, it was in the Jedi Archives. If that's the case, then this has some great lesson from my life, so listen up, or you'll miss something important.

 

Four, it was in the Sith archives, and I was incredibly evil. Now, right now, I desperately hope that this is not the case.

 

Five, it was in the Coruscant Library. That would mean that I was a very important non-Jedi figure.

 

Six, this is a family heirloom. That of course means that I was nobody in the great scheme of things. But that's OK, because it's nice to know about your ancestors, whether Father, Mother, Grandfather, etc.

 

Whatever the case, I'm dead. I died, and now I'm dead. No way about it, so stop crying. I'm not crying. Do you see me crying? You know what? Never mind. Just quit your crying, pull up a chair, and get comfortable, because I'm about to tell you my life story, so it might take a while.

 

First off, you should know a little about me. I was a normal kid growing up on the planet Earth. I was in high school, though I was a little eccentric for my classmates. Well, all except for this one kid, whose name was Henry Austin Nolos. He was OK, but I got on his nerves a lot, and my uber-geek mode annoyed him immensely, but we were close.

 

Not as close as me and my sister though. My parents were Mr. and Mrs. McDerson. They had two kids, me, and Cassandra. She was amazing. Smart, athletic, beautiful. All the guys at school wanted to go out with her. Or most of them anyway. Few actually did anything about it though.

 

She was a year older than me, but we were as close as twins. We looked like we could be twins too. Unfortunately, that wouldn't last. When she was fifteen, she mysteriously disappeared. I haven't seen her since.

 

Two years later, to the day, something happened that would change my life, forever. I was sitting in my room, doing nothing, but pretending to study for tomorrows Physics test. And I am a physics genius, if I do say so myself. But that's why I hated it. It was too easy. I like a challenge, and High school physics wasn't it. Football was a bit of a challenge, so I enjoyed that some. Until I was benched that is. I just didn't have what it took to be a great running back. So I turned to the skate park after school.

 

Anyways, I should have been studying. But I wasn't. And now I'm glad that I wasn't, because I spotted something crash into the woods behind my house. It was bright, and glowing, and moving at an incredible speed. It was shaped more like a fighter jet, than a meteor, but there were no air bases anywhere around, and nobody ever flew small aircraft over our neighborhood.

 

I suddenly went into science geek mode, trying to estimate the speed of the aircraft, the force that was driving it, and adding the acceleration of gravity. Basically, I came to the conclusion that the Force that it would inflict upon the ground would be magnificent! And of course that the equal and opposite force that would occur to the object would damage it almost beyond repair. And possibly mash anything or anyone that might be in it. And that was if it was made of the strongest earth materiel. I figured that if was extra-terrestrial, then it might survive the crash. So I decided to check it out. That was when my life changed forever. (See? I told you that it might take a while! It took me five minutes just to give the back story!)

 

 

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A/N: That's the prologue, the first chapter will be coming as soon as I can get it up. This story takes place in during a series of stories by Forca called War of the Dimensions, the first of which is called Shadow. There will be numerous references to events that happen in her story in this one.

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HI, FORAL!!!

 

Oooh, you joined too. Interesting story. Curiosities abound. I weep for the lack of writing I've done...

 

I'll watch this. Nothing really to say yet... it's a curious beginning.

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Hmm, interesting premise, please continue!

 

One thing though -

 

Teenage human male voice If you're listening to this recording, there are several reasons how you got a hold of it.

 

It should be "Teenage human male voice : If you're listening..." or begin a new paragraph for the dialogue. Just makes this a bit easier to read and understand.

 

Otherwise, good!

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Thank you, Laela, for catching that. It has been fixed! I'm glad everybody appreciates it so far. This chapter takes place two days before chapter one of War of the Dimensions: Shadow.

 

 

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Chapter 1: Crash and Burn

 

Andrew McDerson stared out the window in disbelief. He thought he'd seen a meteor land in the woods behind his house. He glanced at the alarm clock on the night-stand that stood next to his bed. The clock read nine-thirty. Half an hour, he thought, just enough time.

 

He grabbed a flashlight off his bureau, a pocket knife off his night-stand, and his book bag off the floor. He dumped the book bag out, and slung it on his back. He put the pocket knife in his pocket, threw some hiking boots on, and flicked on the flashlight. As he headed for the door, he yelled into the air, ”œHey mom, I'm going out to hike in the woods for a while!”

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A/N: Well, here you go. Another chapter. This chapter takes place a day before the first chapter of Forca's story War of the Dimensions: Shadow.

 

 

 

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Chapter 2: Dented Hull

 

 

The day seemed to last an eternity for Barriss. She spent a good portion of the morning stretching, and practicing her lightsaber forms. She spared with Luminara for a few hours after lunch. Around sixteen hundred, she decided to take a look at their surroundings.

 

She gathered the Force around her, coiled her body like a spring, and released the Force while she launched herself upwards. She landed expertly on a limb ten feet up the nearest tree. She leapt from branch to branch, maneuvering around the forest, taking in their surroundings in a one kilometer radius.

 

As she headed back to the ship, she heard someone running through the underbrush beneath her. She immediately jumped to the lowest branch of the tree to her right, and looked in the direction of the sound. Andrew was running through the forest with an expertise she hadn't expected from him. He bounded over roots, and rolled under branches. His speed indicated an acute knowledge of his surroundings. He would be quite formidable in a fight with this sort of knowledge, she thought to herself.

 

Suddenly, he leapt onto a low branch, only three feet above the ground, and turned. He began scanning the forest with nervous apprehension, and a smile of twisted enjoyment. Then he dove off the branch, and rolled to a stop behind a tree. On the trunk of the tree behind him was a spot of a wet, colored liquid goop.

 

Andrew opened his backpack, and pulled out two clear, blaster-shaped objects, and gripped them tightly. He replaced the bag on his back, and jumped out from behind the tree, using the branch for cover. He pulled down on the triggers of his weapons, and began sidestepping around the branch. His attackers had just come into view from behind trees. They were tall, burly, and dressed completely in camouflage. They wore masks on their faces that concealed their faces, though whether it protected their identities or their faces, she wasn't sure. They suddenly began to dance around as if being stung by hundreds of unseen insects.

 

They eventually began fighting the urge to react to the pain, and brought their weapons to bear. They were much like blaster-rifles, but they had a large crescent-shaped tube attached to them, and they hurled small marble-sized balls that burst into painted splotches on impact.

 

Andrew was doing everything in his power to dodge the staining missiles. He launched himself against the trunks of trees, only to launch himself unpredictably towards his attackers. He was hit by a couple of his opponent's ammo, but only on the arms.

 

Then, without warning, the leader of the group convulsed as if being stabbed in the back by a lightsaber, and collapsed to the ground. Soon after, his four companions followed suit. They quickly gathered their weapons, glared at Andrew, and rushed off into the woods.

 

Barriss scanned the area behind the group of assailants, and found a blonde-haired young man, about Andrew's age, in a prone position on a wooden platform she hadn't seen earlier, holding a clear sniper rifle. He scrambled to his feet, slung the weapon over his shoulder, and clambered down the branches of his tree, dropping the last few feet to the ground in front of Andrew.

 

He grinned wildly. ”œWe showed them today, didn't we?”

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HI, FORAL!!!

 

Oooh, you joined too. Interesting story. Curiosities abound. I weep for the lack of writing I've done...

 

I'll watch this. Nothing really to say yet... it's a curious beginning.

 

Lol.... Yeah, he tends to follow me wherever I go... And you should keep an eye on it. After all, it follows my story...

 

('K, before anybody says a word, I swear this isn't my writing!)

 

Hey, Foral! Finally got around to reading this... And I meant it, too, it looks like you've taken some inspiration and pointers from my writing. It is very similar, though different enough... There were a few things that could have used fixing, but, all in all, a good story. One of your best, I think... And I'm not just saying that. Out of everything I've seen from you, this is the best overall so far.

 

Oh, and welcome to Jedi.net, li'l bro!

free.jpg
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  • 1 month later...

Chapter 3: Spinning Stars

 

Andrew rolled over and looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. It said ten O' clock. Sunlight streamed through his blinds, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow. Great, he thought to himself, starting to pull the covers over his head, maybe I can still get back to sleep. He suddenly stopped, noticing something strange, threw the blanket off his face, and stared at the wall.

 

There, over his dresser, instead of sitting on its hanging display, his prop replica of Andûril was actually floating! He jumped out of bed, threw on his clothes, grabbed his book bag off the floor, along with the few tools he thought he'd need, and headed out into the rest of the house. The sword instantly dropped to the floor with a clang! the instant he left the room. He paused in the kitchen to heat up six pop-tarts, threw together a few sandwiches, and ran out the door. He sprinted through the woods to the crash site.

 

He stormed into the clearing, hands clenched into fists. Barriss parried a blow from Luminara's lightsaber, and looked curiously at the approaching youth. Andrew let the backpack fall to the ground as he glared at Barriss. She checked her wrist chrono. ”œYou're early,”

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Welcome to Jnet!!!

 

This is a great story! I love the idea, and you pulled it off very well! The main character Andrew cracks me up, because he reminds me a lot of my brother.

 

I only had a few small problems with it. 1) I think it seemed like he accepted too quickly that everything he was seeing was real. I mean, there was all this disbelief as he was discovering it, and then he all of a sudden believes them. I think it would take me a lot longer to believe they were real, and not lunatics who are dressed up like Jedi. 2) He was really quick to accept going with them to Coruscant. With the conversation about him not wanting to leave his family, you set up his character in a way that would have expected more reluctance. 3) What would his family think? He didn't even give it a second thought. 4) He's doing physics homework, but he never goes to school. You should have mentioned either him deciding to skip school to help Bariss and Luminara, or say he was on spring break or something.

 

Most of those are nit-picky continuity things. You have a few spelling errors here and there...just watch that.

 

Other than those, I am extremely excited about this fic! I really like the idea, and I can't wait to see where you go with it.

amipaint2.jpg

SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.
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  • 4 weeks later...

Welcome to Jnet and the Jedi Library.

 

Just caught up with this story and I wish I'd read it sooner. I found it interesting how you portrayed Luminara and Barriss - I've read a few books to do with Barriss (the Medstar series) Your portrayal of her sounds on the mark, good job.

 

One thing I caught was his anger towards Barriss when he thought she was playing tricks on him. The Jedi would have brought that up - too much anger - needs to control his anger. I don't think Barriss would have shown rage. While she is headstrong from the books, she wouldn't give in to the darker emotions. The points Ami made as well about him being quick to leave with them, etc ... you could have drawn that out more.

 

Other than that, I'm enjoying your story and am looking forward to more.

SkyeOrgana.jpg

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  • 10 months later...

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