Balance

I nodded my head in acknowledgment as he asked the first question, not only a sense of dread having overcame this installation as refugees and Imperial personnel began to flock in, but a sense of coldness that was different than the cold recycled air that constantly blew from the ventilation shafts. This coldness was deeper, it had weight to it, and it thickened the air to the degree that it seemed to affect even the moods of those returning. Many walked around with blank stares as if they couldn't believe what they witnessed. Others walked in anger, their gazes defiant. Even Chalcedon's gaze had changed, his eyes stern, yet sorrowful, as if his heart had been shattered. Yet I remained silent as he spoke, my eyes meeting his with attentiveness and concern. I watched as he explained the situation, spoke of fear, and noticed that he partially admitted his own even if he had not meant to. But given the atmosphere that had descended upon Nar Shadaa as well as the Imperial Compound that we stood within, it was a reasonable accident. All I could feel at the moment, however, was sorrow and concern for him and the others that strolled by me as my gaze shifted toward those that past on occasion. My understanding was oblivious, yet, my heart still felt for them. "I have many fears Chalcedon." I finally spoke after a long period of silence, lost in thought upon his words and in those that walked to and fro around us. I couldn't quite grasp the concept of war, and yet, I could see it clear as day in each face that past, some broken, some enraged, some even reveling in the sensations they felt. But as I searched myself, only a singular fear stood above the rest in that singular moment, a fear I thought he had laid to rest and stemmed from my time in the Jedi Order. Clearing my throat, a shiver crawling my spine and causing me to shake a moment as it hit me. " My greatest fear is not being accepted for who I am. I sighed. I felt shameful to use such a lousy fear, especially amidst the fears that fermented all around us. But it was the truth. Or so i thought at that moment. I didnt fear death. It was natural and I believed that in death, we returned to the Force and became a droplet upon its flowing river. Nor did i fear battle. For i had fought my entire life to retain my beliefs and even ran from the Jedi when my beliefs conflicted with their teachings and they wanted to strip me of the Force. That could change however. As i held no real clue of what battle was like, and from what i saw in the eyes of those that returned from Kuat, it was evident that i held no knowledge of true battle, only my own. Yet, despite this, in this moment, acceptance still remained my greatest fear. To be accepted was to be loved, to be cherished. It was comradery. It was knowing that I had a home, that I had friends, and that I could and would be relied on and forgiven if I failed. And as long as I had that, I could always face life head on with courage in my heart no matter what mediocre fear did manage to try and grasp my heart. I knew this to my very core. Even when i first met Chalcedon in that dark alley, despite the fear that he was Jedi, I was prepared to face him and die before I let go of my beliefs. But after finding out who he was, and for the first time in my life, feeling his acceptance for who I was, I felt whole. That would be all I would ever need. Gazing at Chalcedon, my bright blue eyes meeting his, I smiled sincerely, hoping to return the favor of comfort as he had done for me.

Comfort.... Feeling Chalcedon's grip brought a sense of ease to my mind as I regained my strength to stand firmly, but the entire trial had taken a deep exhaustion upon my soul. Taking the cup into my hand, the heat of it stung slightly at first, but my nerves grew used to it as I held it, bringing my lips close to its rim as I blew upon it before each sip. The senses I had felt still gripped my heart tightly, partially that one could find such emotions and feelings like compassion and love even in a place such as Nar Shadaa. Yet, the more horrific truth was that hate and cruelty ran rampant and unchecked, substantially more so than the others. It truly was a disheartening realization. With a heavy sigh, I sat the cup aside as his question came across my ears. At first, I sat in silence, trying to gather the words that could express all that I felt. But no matter how much I tried, the words would allude my thoughts and knowledge. So I spoke the only words that came to mind, a bittersweet acknowledgement that both could exist in such a twisted way. "I felt life, and it was surreal. I could feel both love and hate, compassion and fear, intent and doubt. And it was saddening that those feelings could not only exist side by side, but dwell within the same heart, entangled in the same soul, separated only by choice." Taking the cup back into my hand, its warmth having faded, leaving only the lukewarm liquid chocolate within, I took another sip and again sat in humbling silence. My mind would pour over this realization for quite a few moments, unable to grasp such truth, even in the lives of ordinary everyday people. Some still held hope, this much was true, doing as they could to make the lives of those around them better simply out of selflessness. But for the majority of the lives I encountered, hope was lost and they only looked out for themselves and those they chose to cherish. Division was rampant, and weakness was constant. Finishing the cup, i sat it to the side and turned my gaze back to Chalcedon, though i noticed his own distracted. Following his own gaze, my eyes caught notice of a star destroyer on fire being displayed on a holoscreen. Questions arose within my mind why it distracted him so, unaware that it was one of Imperial origin, yet felt compelled to remain silent, his business his own. Yet, I could help but continue to stare at it myself, a sense of unknown dread creeping up my spine that sent shivers across my form and my skin began to rise in little dimples. Truly, whatever was going on, it managed to reach us even here on Nar Shadaa of all places. Fear...

Sight... I sat there, my eyes closed, as I did as he instructed. First I focused on my breathing, letting the sounds of my lungs inhaling and exhaling calm my mind, feeling my body relaxing as I did so. I had meditated before, so this was nothing new to me. Upon closing my eyes, as if upon instincts, I could see the entire room around me in an aspect similar to seeing images in white noise. But deep down, I knew he wanted more. So I began to focus even more, trying to clear my mind and see even more. "I can see all around me as if my eyes were open, but that's nothing new for me." I spoke in jest as my focus broadened and I let my senses expand. "I smell the fragrance of the air around us, yourself included." I couldn't help but chuckle at that comment. "I hear the noises of the hallways and the rooms next door, even the chirping of the cricket over in the corner." I hung my head in shame as I began to follow the noise with my second sight. "But feel? I feel nothing the air flowing through the room." I hopped up in frustration, crossing my arms, and pouting as I did. I was never a patient one. And with my second sight, I was still too easily distracted by what I was able to see and hear. This was going to be harder than I thought. Sure, I could close my eyes and sleep. But even then, I had always be aware of my surroundings, causing my mind to run in overdrive and taking forever before I finally fell asleep. It was one of the reasons I had always hoped to gain control of the Force, seeing some of the Jedi place themselves in statis and sleeping for days. If only I was so lucky. But this is where I got an idea, one that kinda made sense, at least in my own little head. I wondered if there were a way to turn down or even turn off my second sight using the same meditation and focus, allowing myself to tap into the Force. It was worth a shot at least. Blindness... Settling back down beside Chalcedon I closed my eyes and focused inward. I focused first on clearing my mind, focusing on my breathing and the air flowing around me. It was peaceful, almost serene in such an aspect. But as my mind cleared, I focused even more inward in an attempt to either close off or drown out my other senses. But with little to no avail. Frustrated, I opened my eyes, remaining quiet as to not disturb Chalcedon as i sat there. I thought for sure that would work. Looking around to cool myself off, i noticed something that i hadn't before and it caused me to have an almost dumbfounded epiphany, nearly falmpalming myself in stupidity. Why hadn't I thought about that. Quickly reaching out with my hand, I grabbed a couple of sterile banthacotton swabs like the ones he had used in my mouth and quickly plugged my ears as I resettled. I was going to succeed this time, even if it killed me. Awakening... And so I delved deeper into my focus, repeating the same pattern as I had before. First focusing upon my breathing, and then inward upon my senses. Although this time, I couldn't hear a thing as the pressure of the cottonswabs settled the vibrations of my eardrum to a near dead silence, causing me to momentarily wonder if this was what it was like to be deaf before I refocused myself completely. And this was when it happened. To me, I felt almost as if I had drifted off to sleep at first, my second sight disappearing as my mind fell completely blank for what felt like only a couple of seconds before everything became overbearing, washing over me like a wave of explosive noises, and for a brief moment I screamed in agony. If Chalcedon tried to speak to me, i wouldn't be able to hear him, only feel his touch before the cotton swabs were taken from my ears and my hearing returned. But as i felt the noise, it was a combination of life. Sadness, joy, hate, love, voices, alarms, engine sounds, tells, screams, even a booming voice warning me of something. I felt it all at once and it left me completely breathless, almost as if I had been hit in the chest and the wind knocked from me. And as I struggled to my feet, when I gazed upon Chalcedon, my face would be as white as a ghost.

Embarrassment..... My face flushed with utter embarrassment as I grabbed the previous breastplate with both hands, thinking to myself that they would indeed eventually grow despite my previous fellow padawans comments about if I had drank my milk regularly I would already have grown. "Hmph...," I growled silently as I twirled and stormed off in protest, returning shortly after switching out the breastplate. "They'll eventually grow in, ya know. My little outburst soon subsided as we went through the process of swabbing my DNA and me listening to him speak. My red cheeks still flushed in embarrassment, I kept my gaze lowered through most of it, his words slightly lost on selective hearing. But still, I heard most of it, me finding them very different from the Orders I knew. And in truth, this eased me as a smile crept back onto my face and a cheerfilled expression returned. "Chalcedon? It suits you Ser." Seriousness... "So our ranking is more military than philosophical?" I questioned, my gaze looking at the badge as I placed it away and looked back at Chalcedon. "Which makes you my trainer and commanding officer." This thought set my mind at ease. Not that I was normally the shy type, but after my trials with the Jedi and his rescue earlier, I had grown to feel comfortable with him. And for right now, I felt that was what I needed. With a wink and a joking posture, I saluted him. "Sir." The Force.... But it was his final words that made me think, my tone growing the most serious it had became since I woke up here. And in truth, I held no real knowledge to answer his question with. When I was with the Jedi on Tython, they taught it through meditation and focus. They said that it flowed through every living thing and that focusing our thoughts and attention inward, that we could feel it flow from within us. But such things needed discipline and understanding, neither of which I was good at. It wasn't until I felt rage and fear here on Nar Shadaa that it finally flowed forth from me, and it's cold touch frightened me deeply. I suppose that's what the Jedi called the Darkside. But as i sat there contemplating an answer for him, i remembered something i had always known to do, a gift i had seemingly been born with though i had no idea how or why. It had always came second nature, being able to see even when i closed my eyes or was in another room. I held no clue if this was something i was born with or if this what the Jedi considered using the Force, as no one had ever truly explained it to me, nor did i every question. "Ser Chalcedon?" i finally spoke, hesitant at first. "The power I felt here during the battle... it was different, cold, and fueled by my fear of you and my anger toward the slavers. But before then, i had never touched the Force, or at least, not that i know of. I've always been able to see into people's hearts and into rooms other than the one I'm in, but I don't know if that's the Force or something I was born with. See, I..." I stop momentarily, my hesitation apparent. " I've always been a ward of the Jedi, my parents unknown."

Following... I followed the Knight without question as we left the medical ward, quickly turning and bowing in thanks to the medical droids and staff for patching me up and looking over me, before we made our exit. The infastruction of the Academy here was quite different than the one I lived in on Tython, but I suppose that was to be expected. Still, it appeared more militant than I had envisioned, and a little lifeless. Where the Temple at Tython held murals and designs honoring Tython's history, this Temple was bland and empty. In truth, at first glance, it was intimidating. Yet, I held these thoughts to myself. As the Knight had said earlier, they were a Order with strong convictions of defending against the Sith and the darkside, so it's blandness was likely due to the fact that they were member of the Imperial Order, always on the go with no ties to call home. A slight hint of sadness came over me at that thought, but soon subsided as the thought of the Knights being attached to one another rather than an Academy settled my thoughts, causing me to suppose they held more heart toward their comrades rather than their Order. I knew this new Order would be a learning experience. Transformation... Arriving in the large central chamber, I gazed around in awe of the weaponry as Chalcedon went about. The weapons ranged in every form, size, and specialty, causing me to feel inadequate due to the simple polearm I carried with me. I looked through a few as the Knight lingered over toward some nearby shelves, noticing mostly melee weapons, but a few blasters as well, granting me a small insight into what Chalcedon had mentioned about their Order. Truly they held some seriousness to their cause, peaking my interest heavily. It made me wonder of their Empress, the one he swore to protect with his life. To command such admiration and loyalty, especially from such a kind soul as he, she must have been kind and loving, yet powerful and regal. Shaken from my thoughts and wonder by Chalcedon as he handed me a plasti-sealed package and suggesting that I use one of the female stalls to change, I did so with a thankful nod, unknowing what laid within. My eyes sparkled in wonder toward the armor it revealed, so shiny, so new, that I barely wanted to remove it. That, and I had grown accustomed to the armor that I adorned. But nonetheless, I undressed, taking off the armor of my former life and placing on a new. New Beginnings... As I stepped out of the stall and turned toward Chalcedon, I spun a quick circle, quickly inquiring how I looked. Most of the armor fit my form perfectly, minus the chest piece. But given my age, it was sufficient to say that I would one day grow into it. Tugging at the collar of the underwear, it was apparent that I wasn't use to such a well fit. I tightly held the helmet under my arm, and Chalcedon would notice the saber clipped to my hip upon the belt that adorned the armor quite fashionably. But most importantly, the smile that bore itself across my face was one of excitement and pride. I was finally going to follow my dream, and I felt it's touch within reach. "Thank you so much," I spoke with excitement and gratitude, my voice an almost high pitched squeal as I struggled to hold back my excitement. "You have no idea how happy you've made me... Should I call you Master? Or just sir Knight? Despite all that has happened, he had still yet to tell me his name, or if he was even the one who was going to teach me.

Humor... A chuckle briefly erupted from my lips as the Knight mentioned never gracing my presence with Milk again, followed swiftly by a sudden chill rising upward upon my spine as the mere thought of the disgusting liquid brought forth goosebumps that rigidly encompassed my form. I winced in pain as I flinched from the chill, reminding me that my muscles still ached from the confrontation earlier, and I blushed at the embarrassment that I considered the man sitting across from me had ever been a Jedi, his compassion assuring and comfortable as I swung my legs back and forth beneath the examination table I sat upon, my feet a few inches from the floor. After the moment of pain passed, I sighed in relief, for I had finally escaped the Jedi Order and it's grasp. "Thank you..." I spoke sincerely toward the Knight before me, noticing him attempting to clean a carbon scarring that tarnished his vibrant armor. "For rescuing me earlier. I honestly don't know if I would have survived the encounter with the slavers had you and your kin not been there, and as such, I likely owe you my life." I shoved my hand out toward him, my eyes squinting nearly shut as my face drew a near encompassing smile followed by a soft chuckle. "And for making the note to not bring that disgusting liquid before me again. I don't know who's idea it was to decide to drink it one day way back when, but whomever it was needs to be thrown into a trash compactor....." Conviction.... Realizing that I was now beginning to trail off, I sat quietly for a moment as he talked about balance being near impossible, and for a brief moment I wondered if it was, the conviction of his tone and the self belief of the truth in his words were a rather convincing argument for him. Perhaps my own were mere self beliefs, no more right nor wrong than his own. Perhaps my ideology were just that of an inexperienced child and his were of a hardened veteran whom could not envision it any other way. Whatever the case was, I shook my doubts away, undoubtedly showing my stubbornness and own convictions. "Perhaps you are right. I've never known anything but what the Jedi Order has taught me. My ideals could be nothing but foolishness coming from a little girl..." I smiled, letting him see that I wasn't being sarcastic as I spoke. "But no matter which ideology you take belief in, history shows us that neither can wipe the other out, as it's roots seem to be stemmed from sentient nature, the nature of the heart. Jedi have fallen to the dark side whether it be from fear, doubt, love, or ego. And the same could be said for Sith and Dark Jedi whom have found redemption within themselves through various reasons as well. Either way, both have faced extinction many times and revived in the other's wake." Acceptance.... Briefly playing coy with the Knight who now sat idly cleaning his armor, I thought upon his offer, making him wonder what my answer would be for a little longer than it took me to have decided. But before he could ask me what my answer was, I had already hopped down from the table and plunged forward onto him, my arms wrapped tightly, yet softly, around his neck with my face buried into his armor, nearly knocking us both backwards off the bench. With a warm smile, my eyes filled to the brim with tears, I gazed up at the Knight. "And yes, I wish to learn your ways, more than you know. I was beginning to wonder if you were even going to ask, or if I would ever follow my dream."

Ally... A quirky smile crossed my face as I looked up toward the Knight before me, a feeling of appreciation sweeping across my mind as I did. Because, in truth, it lifted alot of the burdened weight that I had been carrying for so long, shunned by those I had called 'family' amidst the Tythian Jedi. For the first time I was able to relax, finding comfort amongst these beings that called themselves Imperial Knights, and despite my slight difference in beliefs, I felt I could grow among them and even find my place beside them. I felt, in more than a manner of speaking, at home. Nemesis.... Or at least I did until a nearby nurse brought forth a plate of food, and I laid eyes on my eternal arch nemesis. "So we meet again." I spoke, my glaring stare focusing hard upon the plate before me, as if urging to shatter my nemesis into a million pieces, and if I had the power, it would have happen. In all the places of all the worlds, why did I have to run into it here? "Milk." Wisdom.... Turning my gaze from upon the disgusting liquid that came from places that no being should ever have even thought of touching, I turned back toward the Knight. Forgive me Sir Knight.. I said apologetic, still having yet to actually catch the man's name. But there in lies the problem. It is my belief that The Force is neutral, and so should we be, as well as our power. Light cannot exist without dark as I stated before, because of it laying in the shadows behind the mass of creation. Nor can the Dark snuff out the light, as it illuminates what lies within. Perhaps this is why the Jedi feared me, as my words may seem heretic, but the truth is that each of the Orders create the need for the other by focusing solely on one aspect or side of the coin we call the Force. But if we embrace neutrality in our wielding, then we deviate the possibility of falling to either side and create harmony between the two."

Enlightenment "In truth, Sir Knight," I began, my tone echoing of the sadness and despair I felt within my heart. "The Jedi Order has been the only home I've ever known. I was left there as a child, unwanted and discarded by whomever left me there. And as I grew, they were the only family I knew and cherished, outside of my studies. And I'm guessing that was where the rift began to form." A singular tear streams down my face after having formed in my cold blue eyes, forcing me to gaze down upon the floor in embarrassment. "Because during my Initiate Trails at Ilum, the moment they noticed my Kyber Crystal take it's current form, they suddenly wanted to cut off the one thing that I cherished above all else; The Force and my beliefs in it." I removed the Kyber Crystal from my pouch and brought it forth and shown it to the Knight. "Only in my presence, does it glow this barely visible shade of silver like blue. And that is why they wanted to cut me off from the Force." Illumination Looking down upon the floor, I noticed my shadow just lingering there, and it made me remember my studies of Tython and it's ancient Order, the Je'daii. Looking up toward the lighting above me that illuminated me and produced my shadow, I spoke once again. "It's not that I live in fear of the Jedi Order, only in confusion as to why they wanted to cut me off from the Force. Perhaps I delved too deep into my studies of Tython and it's ancient Order, the Je'daii. Perhaps they feared I would fall because I believed in balance of the Force in one's self rather than in the Force it's self." Moving my hand about, once again gazing at my shadow upon the floor, I spoke again. " It's like my shadow upon this floor. it is the darkness of my form illuminated by the light above, yet it stays there. It doesn't attack, nor does it corrupt, only stays apart of me, bound by it's connection to me by the light above me." Turning back to the Knight, my tears having now dried upon my face only to be replaced by a smile after having talked about the truth within my heart, I chuckled. "Perhaps you don't agree with me either, but in truth, I believe like the Je'daii before me, I will find the Balance of Light and Dark within myself, and thus, Balance within the Force that flows through me."

Ignorance I felt slightly more at ease once the man smiled at me, his attentiveness calming me as I began to sit completely up. In truth, I kinda smiled myself, noticing rather quickly that even here, upon the Smuggler's Moon, my feet never quite reached the floor when I sat upon an examination table. I guess that was one of the downsides of being so small. Turning my gaze toward the Knight, I questioned. "What is this Remnant that you speak of? Forgive my ignorance, but I've never heard of it. Are you a splinter cell of the Order?" “Once jedi, now we serve a different path. The remnant, it's empress, and the path of light to seek and destroy the darkness that haunts every step taken in this once fair galaxy.” These words ran through my head as I asked those questions. Subconsciously I pondered. Were they Fallen? Or did their views differ from the Order's like in cases such as Revanchist? Outwardly I looked upon the emblems he had pointed to, as they obviously resembled that of the Imperialists, but the Empire had long been defeated and disbanded according to the Masters at Tython. Were the Masters incorrect, or did they hide this fact from us because some of the Order had left and started this Remnant the man mentioned, or was I simply confusing myself even more. I sighed. Intuition "Oh. Forgive me." I spoke, my gaze once again turning toward my lower limbs still dangling from the table I sat upon. "I'm perfectly fine. I don't quite understand all of this, nor what happened to me during the battle earlier..." I sighed once again, this time slightly frustrated as I jumped down from my perch and both legs landed, still slightly wobbly, though I managed to hold myself up as I caught my bearings. "Forgive my manners. I am Pandora. Thank you for your rescue earlier. I've been running from the Jedi Order for quite sometime now, and when I noticed your presence, it frightened me."

Darkness within I stood within a darkened realm, pitch black as far as the eye could see, both forward and back, up and down, surrounded by it. Yet I stood, able to see my full form almost as a beacon of light amidst the darkened existence. Ripples splashed beneath my feet as I stepped forward, my voice echoing through-out as I questioned "Hello?", yet not an answer back was given. What was this place? Where was I? Questions filled my mind. "Hello?" I questioned again, this time louder as I took another step forward. Still there was no answer. Yet something appeared before me, at first a red swirl of light similar to a comet with a tail that followed and dissipated as it traveled toward me. And then a blue swirl of light joined it, as the two intertwined within a dance of beautiful proportions. But as they grew closer, molten drops of what seemed to be fire and metal dripped from their forms anytime they came into contact with each other, until they sat opposite me, floating before me, side by side. They acted intelligent, sentient even, as they hovered in front of me. Choices "I am Light." Spoke the glowing blue orb as it dangled, as if floating in the emptiness of space it's self, it's tone soft and humble. "I am compassion, learning, complacency, and peace my child." "And I am Dark." Spoke the glowing red orb as it dangled, it's form almost swelling with pride and glowing brighter, it's tone seductive, yet boastful. "I am power, means, opportunity, and action little one." "Which of us will you choose to follow?" The two questioned in unison, echoing of a shared mind. "What do you mean?" I questioned back inquisitively, my gaze looking upon both forms as they hovered before me, bobbing like a pair of corks upon a vast ocean of nothingness. "What are you exactly?" "We are life, and death. We are the beginning and the end. We are all and nothing. We are everyone and we are you." The blue orb once again spoke alone, swirling circular as it did. "We are two halves of a whole, existing from the first dawn until the last dusk, a part of everything and absent of nothing. The Jedi and Sith have long called us The Force, Ashla and Bogan by the Je'daii before them, but to put it simply, we are what you wish us to be yet what we are." The red orb retorted. "But what do you mean by which of you do I wish to follow?" I questioned once again, confused by what they have asked me. The Jedi had taught me that everyone was inevitably good, lured to the Darkness by desire and greed, so why are these two orbs asking my choice? "I thought that letting go of the light was the only way to fall to the Dark...." "Jedi Ignorance" Spoke the red orb, glowing brighter in anger. "Such fools to think that I am to be shunned simply because I exist." "What we mean to say is that most beings choose one of us early on in life, depending on the course of their lives and where their hearts lead them." Spoke the blue orb, it's light never changing as it spoke. "You however, have never chosen. Through your entire life until now, you have been a part of us both, your heart as blank as the day we granted you the ability to chose, despite your growth." "Is this a bad thing?" I asked, my gaze shifting between the two orbs. "Do I have to chose?" "No. It is not a bad thing. Unusual, but not bad." chuckled the blue orb, the first sign of it's light growing, if only briefly despite the consistency of the red orb's growth when reacting. "Curious. Why do you ask if you have to chose?" Questioned the red orb. "Can I not choose you both equally?" I questioned yet again, perplexed by their questions and answers, my knowledge of the Je'daii being capable of using both to balance themselves in the Force. "The Je'daii once did. Is it no longer possible?" "It is possible, though..." Spoke the blue orb once again, with the red orb quickly following in suit. "You will never be able to Master neither side nor grow strong." "Then so be it. It's not strength nor Mastery I wish to obtain." I replied, hesitant at first but strong in my convictions. "I only wish to find the understanding and balance within myself." "So be it." The two orbs spoke in unison once more before they began to swirl around and around in a circular motion, a blue and red haze forming before my eyes before a bright light overcame my gaze and as I uncovered my eyes, a reflection of myself stood before me, only this being glowed as the orbs did. Yet instead of red and blue, it's color was silver with a hint of a blue hue. Once again, the two voice spoke in unison. "Awaken child, for you have chosen." Light Beyond As I awoke, I looked around in slight fear. I quickly recognized the medical corps from my days at the Jedi Temple at Tython, yet recognize them to be different. I went to arise and run, yet my body was weak and ached in places I had never known could ache. And that's when I heard the voice from before, yet softer this time, realizing it was the Jedi from before. Yet, he called himself something different, a title I had yet to hear before this day. "The Remnant? Knights of the Imperial Remnant? You're not Jedi?" Meanwhile, unnoticed by me, my Kyber Crystal began to change.

Damnation Pressing forward, I lept forward to slay another, not thinking, but rather acting on instinct. It was as if something else held a handle upon the wheel of my actions. I could not explain what it was I felt, only that it had taken hold of me completely and aided in my desire. I could feel the last thought of my enemies as the fell to my blade, and it sorrowed my heart, not because they feared nor hated me, but because it had come to my life over their own. They felt themselves right, where I stood wrong. Yet, in my eyes, I was right and they were wrong, merely because they had fired upon me first. Such was always the viewpoints of individuals. And yet, I could feel those slain by those I had aligned myself with this night, only that fear and disgusted rested in their final moments before pain overtook them and they quickly fell from my thoughts. Finally the four of us stopped before a large door, one of the red cladded Jedi turning toward me. “This place is no refuge for a child, we will not press you into service But simply ask that you accompany us in this task at hand, for your own safety.” Turning my gaze toward the door as I looked inside, the workings of trafficking and slavery nearly taking my breath away as I viewed hundreds of beings locked within cages. And for a moment, my blood boiled and I wished I could raise the dead that surrounded us just so that I could strike them down again. But in that moment, weakness took hold of my form and I almost collapsed from sheer exhaustion. Down on one knee, my polearm the only thing keeping me from falling upon the durasteel flooring we now stood upon, I looked back up at the Jedi as the spoke toward the slaves. "The Remnant?' I questioned momentarily as the darkness took hold of my thoughts and my mind fell blank, just as my form did upon the floor where I knelt. Great... I just had to pass out. Salvation

Stuck Sweat glistened as it beaded down my brow and slender cheeks, my gaze looming into the distant darkness as I awaited those who chose to hunt me. My hands gripped tight the polearm that I faced forward, it's blade reflecting what little light fell upon it's polished form, both from the distant Nal Hutta and the lights that littered the alley. Behind me was endless darkness, a bottomless pit awaiting me to turn and embrace it should I choose death rather than being taken back to Tython. But no, that was not my end game. If I was to live in my newfound freedom, no longer a prisoner of the Jedi and to find my destiny force willingly, I would face and fight whatever was to be thrown my way. Suddenly the path before me lit up, silver blades igniting before their forms. Red armor reflecting in it's illumination, words echoing as they walked toward me. Jedi was all that I could think... or were they Sith? Not that it mattered. Between a Rock “We are not here to hurt you child.” Spoke a male voice, his accent nearly butchering his words. “You have darkness all about you in this sea of shadows. Let us shine light upon you to free you from fear.” Spoke another, similar in comparison, yet different. Nein! "You stink of Jedi." I shouted, my voice screeching of my fear, yet harmonious of my determination and resolve. Grabbing the chest plate of the Jedi Armor I adorned, my lungs and heart beginning to ache from my moment of flight from these unknown pursuers, I couldn't help but ponder if I truly could escape the Jedi hounds they seemed to have sent after me. And it was this moment of disheartening confusion, of fear, I knew and realized of my own self doubt. Shaking it from my mind and from my heart, I yelled back. "If you want to free me of my fear, then let me be, and leave me the hell alone." “Move Child! Lest you are felled here by the enemies of the light! Move Now, enter our defensive pattern, prepare your blade for combat.” A third voice spoke, seemingly beside me as if a whisper into my ear, causing me to dart left just as blaster bolts whizzed by aimed directly where I had just stood. Coming out of roll upon the durasteel flooring, I only paused for a second as I realized where my flight from these three had taken me. I could feel evil intent all around me, save for from these three. Jedi or not, as my head began to level, I could only see one clear path. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and as I saw them began to defend themselves against the barrage of crimson bolts, ones aimed at me as well, I knew at least for now that these three were allies. And a Hard Place Rushing to my feet, I climb into position amidst the three Jedi, not sure what my polearm could do to aid, yet feeling comfort as I did. Closing my eyes, I focused my mind, allowing my second sight to take hold. Even in the darkness, they could not hide from me, and within a moment of locating one rather close to our position, I struck out from the group. But this time a strange sensation fell upon me. My second sight seemed to reach into the minds of the man I focused upon, as if the air around me thinned and my body in all it's tiresome weakness suddenly found strength once again and more than what it had ever produced before. Within moments I had arrived at my target, and before he even knew I was there, my blade had sliced into him. And so did the Zybrak female down the hall from him, mere moments away as I closed the gap quickly between him and her. I knew not what overtook me, but before I knew it, five had be laid claimed by my blade, myself unaware of the three Jedi's own numbers. But looking down upon my hands in the darkness using my second sight, I saw the same silver aura I saw before upon Ilum, still slightly blue in hue, covered in blood. What was this sensation?

Exit Sight Despite being able to see as any normal being could, I had long held other means to see. Often I closed my piercing blue eyes and walked leisurely amongst the masses, exploring my surrounds and those I walked amongst for simple pleasure. I truly don't know how long I held this gift, or why I was blessed with it, but it was truly the only thing the Force seemed to have granted me. As a child, it started during dreams. I dreamt roaming around the halls of Tython Temple, only to awaken and find myself yards or miles away from where I fell asleep. And as I grew older, so did it too. Only but a few years ago, I noticed that I could not only use this gift to project my sight into rooms nearby and fields away, but I could at times read people hearts and intentions with focus. It felt intrusive, and I steered clear for the most part. But here, upon Nar Shadaa, where I was but another unknown, I held no reason to hold back. What can I say? I'm a curious teenaged girl. And so as I closed my eyes, I began to look around. For the most part, many of those around me were lonely and sad, evident by the strong weights they carried upon their shoulders, a feeling that I too knew all too well. And despite not knowing that I had peeked, my sight reaching around corners and through walls into homes, many truly held up little to none in defense against my gaze. I suppose in the safety of one's home, they felt no need to. Nor would I, had I had a home. And some held evil and murderous intent as I passed, but none seemed as if they would act upon it despite holding such. And some even lit up like lights on a hovercraft, full of cheer and happy with their lives despite the insignificance most would view as their lives, determined to make the best of what they had. And in truth, I envied them to a degree. Enter Knight But as I trailed off into the lesser populated areas, I felt more alone. While most of the folks here, what few there were, held malicious intents, I continued on. I was too lost in my own despair of no longer having a place to lay my head nor to call home to really care what they would think of me as they saw me pass by... if they even noticed me to begin with. The effects of being free of the Jedi Order had long worn off, and now the onset of being alone was beginning to take it's toll. I was beginning to actually the Temple where I had been raised for so long. and yet, I still wondered what it was in me that they feared so much. I only wished to serve the Force, not control it. Why would they view that as evil and a path to the Darkness? Had I overreacted? I shook my head in shame. Perhaps I had jumped the gun a bit too soon, but I couldn't understand why they wanted to take my Kyber crystal and muttered that I should not be trained. In truth, serving the Force was my life, all I had ever wanted, and they wanted to take that from me. So it is that, that I ran from them, hoping to get lost among the masses so far from them. And yet, as I continued my gaze onto those around me, almost losing myself within my own thoughts, i nearly missed those who would soon wash over me wave after wave in not only power but in light. "Jedi?" My piercing blue gaze springing to life as I muttered the words under my breath. "I will not go back and let you sever what the Force gave me!" I shouted with all my might toward where my gaze had fallen upon them, although my voice was but a whisper; soft and gentle. Without another word, I darted down a nearby alleyway, it's darkened corridor riddled with lights that barely illuminated it's form slowly flickering as I ran down it. I refused to be caught. I would not go back to Tython. The Jedi will never sever my connection to the Force. That much was clear in my mind as I cut around another corner, running up a flight of nearby stairs and cutting North away from them. Although my female form was small and petite, I held strong in my heart that I would run until my legs gave out. And so I did, nearly three levels as I attempted evade what I thought was my would be captors, my feet slipping occasionally as I turned corner after corner, not knowing if they had followed me nor giving them the chance to catch me by slowing down. At least, until my running room ran out on me and I nearly plummeted to what would surely have been the moon's surface. Catching my footing and preventing my near plummet, my breath heavy as I panted, my lungs gasping for breath as my heart raced my blood's circulation throughout my body in an attempt to keep my muscles from seizing, I turned. My polearm now placed within my hands, I stood ready in case they had followed me. Nearly exhausted from running, the fear of being taken back to Tython still held my adrenaline pumping despite my body's tiring. I stood ready for a fight, not knowing those whom had truly came for me wasn't Jedi, nor Sith, but something I had never dreamed of. Off to Never Sever Land

The Beginning It was a humbling experience to walk outside the confines of the Jedi Temple that I've known nearly my entire existence. It was hard for me at first to understand life, having known three meals a day and a warm bed. But out here, away from constant restrictions and instruction, I felt freedom, I felt alive. The Masters curriculum had never fit me as Student, nor did their beliefs. While I understood consequences more than most, I also understood connection and reason. Emotions could lead to anger and hate, but at the same time strive one to better themselves and drive them to do the impossible for a simple emotion such as love. But to truly understand such a thing as the Force, one could not cut themselves off from the other half. And this was the the thing that intrigued me most. The Force During my studies as an Intiate, I was a curious child. I knew of the Light and Dark sides, reasons for falling and redemption, and I wondered why it was so. So, I began to question, and looked into forbidden lore to a youngling such as myself. I began to research both Orders and it's known members. I looked into the history of Planets such as my home planet of Tython, Ossus, the Sith planet Korriban, and I followed the path I found that laid within its knowledge. And it was there that I found the truth I was looking for. The Jedi stood for light, like a beacon of hope for those lost in darkness and despair. Yet only one side of a coin. Yet the Sith, they grasped the other half and clung onto it out of hunger for power and greed, which was what would always lead to their downfall. Yet, some, very few, never completely fell to the lure of the darkness. They were capable of wielding both sides of the coin and not lose themselves, and this is what called to me. Extra curriculum So I delved into as many books as I could, searching for their reasons, searching for their paths, searching for their legacy and wisdom. Instead of sticking to my clan within the Order, I hide myself away, trying to understand how to balance myself without losing who I was. And as I researched the very planet that I lived upon, I found the answers. The Order that started it all, those who revered Balance, the Je'daii. They were true Masters of the Force. They understood it's very nature. They sought not to wield it, but rather understand it and become a part of it, not like an extension of their mind, nor like an extension of power. No. For them, it was their very soul they wished to connect with it, to become one both heart and soul. And I found peace in knowing that it was possible to make it a part of me, rather than try to control it. And that is where the Masters would fault me. Trials Like all Intiates, I was taken to the caverns of Ilum to find a Kyber crystal for the construction of my lightsaber as part of my Intiates Trials before a Master would choose me. Already considered an outcast by the majority of the Jedi Masters and Knights looking at potential Hopefuls after having been caught doing my research, I felt myself highly unlikely to be chosen and become a Jedi Padawan. Still, I held onto hope, praying that one day I would become a Jedi Knight myself and find Balance within me. I would return to the teachings of the Rider's forefathers and show that balance was to truly understand both sides of the Force. But as I found my Kyber crystal under the guidance of a Jedi Master, it's glow was a color that seemed to frighten them. Though it was clear, nearly white, a hint of blue still hued it's form. Though the reason was lost to my knowledge, it wasn't to them, and before I knew it, they attempted to take it from me, muttering words that I will fall and that I should never be trained. And so I ran... from them, the Order, and Tython. Nar Shadaa And here I stand upon this darkened moon, full of chaos and confusion. I know not why they feared me, nor if I should fear myself. But no matter the reasons why, I intend to lose myself upon this force forsaken planet and escape the hounds that they were likely to send after me. As I walk among a crowd, making my way from the starport toward the moon's lower levels, I contemplate on what life outside the order, what my life will be without the Force, or if I will ever find someone outside those who don't understand me to finally teach me. Only that I have yet to give up hope, and I refuse to give up my belief.

Life and Death It was a concept that every being, every creature, every plant, and every living thing knew. It was a circle, construction, deconstruction, and reconstruction that revolved and evolved for as long as time it's self had existed. This was the truth of life, and the knowledge of death was only it's inevitability. For something to be born, something had to die, and in it's death, laid way for new life whether through nourishment or space. I had yet to grasp this concept as my life had only merely began. But the truth of it was out there, awaiting it's acknowledgement and it has beckoned me since my birth. even now as I walked the streets of Nar Shadaa, looking at the life that surrounded me, it tugged at my heart and soul, aching for me to truly see it. Light and Dark This concept could be seen merely by watching the skies. For between the sun and the moon, between night and day, light could not exist without darkness for it to illuminate, and darkness could not exist for light to shine within. Nature has always taught us this in everything we have seen, from birth and our unknowing eyes gazing at light for the first time, to death where darkness consumes our sight as the light at the end of the tunnel fades into death's abyss. the Jedi and Sith Orders had separated the two sides of the Force, but the truth of it was that without one, the other could not exist. First with the Je'daii Order of my home world, whom tried to Balance the Force naturally. Then the Jedi Order that rose from it's ashes to try and rid the Galaxy of it's darkness only to creat Darkness through themselves via their fallen. And the Sith whom seek power through the darkness only to be plagued by Death many times over. Only through understanding, could the Force truly be wielded. Good and Evil This concept was also known to every living creature and being that held any sentience. For one to exist, the other had to as well. But this I had already learnt to be partially true. As an Initiate within the Jedi Order at the Temple on Tython, it was constantly drilled into me to resist the darkness in myself, that it would only lead to destruction and despair in life. But as Tythan, my heart knew different. I could not explain it in words, but without evil, no one could be labeled good, nor without goodness, no one could be labeled evil. For that was the truth of nature. We each held two sides of that coin, and both existed within ourselves. Depending on which one you fed more, would determine whom you became labeled. But both still existed, which is why the Jedi Order held so many fallen to the lure of the Darkside. Balance And this is where my journey begins. I had never felt complete within the Jedi Order. For the Light they revered was not what I nurtured, nor was the Dark that the Sith themselves delved so deeply. No. For me, not only as a Tythan, but as a being of understanding, Balance beckoned within me. I felt it's call, focused on learning what Balance was and why it was so important. For Balance was the key to existence. without one half, the other half could not be whole nor live. Like trying to live without a heart, yet think with a brain that received no blood flow. It was impossible. Yet, this early in my story, I only knew that something called me here to this planet, away from the Jedi whom had taken me in as an Orphan. True that the only credits I held to my name could only afford me a ticket here of all places, the Smuggler's Moon, where corruption had long reined supreme. But still, for some reason it held a unconscious beckon within my heart and mind. And so here I stood. The Force The Force, the source of all life, where time began and ended, where life returned at it's demise, and it flowed through everything, entangling fate and creation as much as death and destruction. It's will is law, and no one nor anything could truly ever grasp it. The Jedi could weild it, and the Sith could tame it, but neither held a comprehensive level of what they truly tried to control. Like children merely learning to glide upon the waves of a distant shore using the aid of a small hover board as a way to balance. That's all it merely was. And even the Ancients, suchs as the immortal Celestials had barely scratched it's true surface even though they had managed to understand it the most. And here, despite my own ignorance, the Force had led me away from the Jedi against my own will to this new planet deep in space away from my home, for it wanted Balance within it's self again just as my ancestors once did. And now my story begins....