Anything but Normal -- NSW (FMA)

[Lord Ar-Pharazon]

Wow, this is lengthy, Obi. I'm trying to chug my way through this. How long are you seeing this? Should I just wait until it's done or do you want me to read, chapter to chapter?

[Obi-quiet]

It's going to be at least 20 chapters...I'm on chapter 15, and it's one of the major confrontations. ^^; So I'm pretty sure it won't be much longer than that.

 

I appreciate you trying to read it though. *hug* You don't have to...but I am going to post it one chapter a week. I guess I'll say just read it at your own pace. It will probably take me a good three to four months to post it all, considering I've posted to chapter 10...so if you want to wait I can understand, but I'm pretty sure I'll be pretty steady up until the end.

[Obi-quiet]

Darkness everywhere.

 

“I’m fine,” Selim said aloud, trying his best to ignore the terror-filled tone in his voice.

 

It closed around him, suffocating him, cutting off his air. He couldn’t breathe!

 

“I am perfectly good.” It didn’t help much, but he continued to mutter anyway. “It’s alright, I’m fine,” Selim whispered to himself over and over again as he huddled in the center of the cell they’d thrown him into. It was little more than a windowless room, which had instantly set him on edge. Then they’d blown out the lights and shut the door before Selim could do anything about it. That had shoved him over the edge.

 

At first he’d completely thrown his self respectability to the wind in panic. He remembered yelling and screaming until his voice had gone raw, but no one had returned. That could have been minutes or hours before. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. All he knew was that he’d been arrested for something he either hadn’t done, or hadn’t realized he’d done. Now he sat in a foreign prison, in a land he’d sneaked illegally into while he confronted his worst fears.

 

He hadn’t realized he would regret his rash actions that much. When he got home, he vowed he’d never leave his room again.

 

Trying to make the area feel as open as possible, he sat in the middle of it with one arm wrapped around his knees while his other hand hit the ground in somewhat consistent if random intervals. The movement seemed to be the only thing keeping him from throwing himself at the door again.

 

“It’s just a little dark, it’s nothing to worry about,” his voice squeaked. Again, it didn’t do much to reassure him. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Nothing…” He knew that wasn’t true. He felt cut off, abandoned and completely powerless. He always did when he was trapped. He’d tried calling on the shadows, but nothing had responded. He’d concluded that to have a shadow, there had to be light, so his shadows wouldn’t work in the dark. Briefly he wondered why strong sunlight hadn’t been his enemy. In the desert, he’d been able to use the shadows freely.

 

Then the terror blew such rational thoughts away like it always did.

 

“Don’t leave me,” he found himself whispering suddenly. “Don’t leave me here…”

 

No one answered. Even the voice in his head remained silent. He was almost desperate enough to wish it would speak up. Then again, that was probably why he hadn’t heard from it. They weren’t exactly friends. Then again, it hadn’t spoken since he’d been in Xing unless he counted the dream. Maybe it couldn’t? He doubted it. Or did he? Truthfully, he didn’t know. With the state his mind was in, he was surprised he could think at all.

 

He’d come too far out of his element. He just wanted to leave; go home and back to his loving mother. Perhaps if Father would hurry Selim could…

 

He paused for a moment, his thought process grinding to a halt. Father? His father? Where on Earth had that come from? Then again, thinking back, that wasn’t the first time he’d had that thought. His panicked brain tended to shoot out the strangest ideas. Too bad he really didn’t have the presence of mind to do much more than realize that before the desperate panic set in again.

 

“Don’t leave me alone…all alone…no one to come for me…” as if anyone would. He chuckled mirthlessly, sounding more than a little cracked even to himself. The noise seemed to break a dam of sorts, and he found himself unable to stop. His hysterical laughter grew louder and wilder, and he couldn’t find the ability or will to control it. Then it broke to sobs, and he hoped with all his might that no one could see or hear him. He hated crying in front of others.

 

He didn’t know how long he’d been like that when the door opened. Selim’s head shot up at the sound, and he forced himself to his feet, ready to make a mad dash for the exit. He took off the moment he saw light, eyes fixed on that blessed change and nothing else as his feet thudded over the hard floor. He’d only taken a few steps when he collided with someone and they both fell to the ground.

 

“Ow, Selim!”

 

Selim paused, trying once again to blink his eyes into working in the sudden, if small illumination.

 

“Mandy?” he asked, hating how weak his voice sounded.

 

He stared down through the dim light towards the shadow he’d somehow missed earlier. Her voice had come from that direction, right? He could vaguely see an outline of someone—

 

The door shut again. He’d pondered for just a moment too long. The sudden loss of the comparative brightness caused him to snap his eyes towards the now vanished crack of light.

 

“NO!” he yelled, forcing himself to his feet and launching his body at the door desperately. “NO!” he shouted again when he collided with the hard material and began pounding on it, to no avail. “Don’t leave me here! Let me out! Let me out now!”

 

It was the beginning of his captivity all over again. He just couldn’t seem to stop panicking or pounding at the door.

 

“Selim!” he heard a voice behind him. “Selim stop!”

 

“I can’t!” he retorted. “They’ll leave me! There’s no way out! I have to get out! I have to get back!”

 

“Back to where?” Mandy asked.

 

“To Father!”

 

That caused him to stop and he blinked, trying to force his hysterical mind to process that. It didn’t work very well, but he was able to calm down somewhat.

 

“Father? I thought you didn’t know who your father was,” Mandy said slowly.

 

“I…I don’t,” Selim managed to respond.

 

“Then what are you talking about?” she asked, trying to speak in soothing tones.

 

“I don’t know…” he whispered. “I don’t know...I...I-I’m not exactly rational right now if you haven’t noticed!” The whisper grew to a yell before he’d realized it.

 

Mandy sighed. “Selim, I’m here, alright? I talked the Emperor into letting me stay here with you. He also told me he won’t hurt you. You’re safe, alright.”

 

He was still breathing hard, but her words did far more to calm him than he’d ever let on. Just needing someone else to be there was already a huge blow to his pride. He doubted it would ever recover from the strike of actually admitting it aloud. He felt so weak.

 

“H-how can I be safe?” he heard himself ask. “I’m stuck in a dungeon in a foreign kingdom in the dark! Why would they do that?! It’s so dark…”

 

“It’s not a dungeon,” Mandy said, still trying to calm him down. “It’s a simple holding room, and you’re only here until the Emperor decides what to do with you. He will come back. Until then, I’m here, alright?”

 

“Can’t you just use your alchemy and get us out?”

 

“No,” Mandy replied softly. “They took all my circles and drawing implements away.”

 

Selim cursed.

 

“Watch your language,” the girl said sternly.

 

Selim turned and blinked at her, despite the fact that she couldn’t see him. The comment was so…ridiculous—so normal that it almost distracted him. Almost.

 

“Did you really just say that?” he asked incredulously.

 

“No,” she responded dryly, “it was the tooth fairy who also happens to be in here. Her house is in the corner.”

 

Selim paused again, finally beginning to feel himself calm down ever so slightly. He couldn’t help the feeble chuckle that escaped him. “Sarcasm is a new thing for you. Besides, you’re wrong,” he heard himself say. “If she lived here, she’d be glowing. We’d have some light.”

 

It was a pathetic attempt at a joke. So pathetic that he only managed to remind himself of the smothering blackness.

 

“What did I do?” he heard himself whisper again. “What did I do to deserve this?”

 

Mandy snorted. “You know, I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

 

“I don’t know!” Selim shouted. “I have no idea what I did!”

 

“Calm down,” she said. “And why don’t you start at the beginning.”

 

He contemplated her request for a moment before nodding. He knew she couldn’t see him, but it comforted him a little when he responded as if she could. “Alright.”

 

xXx

 

Discussing his day with Mandy helped. By the time he finished, he’d gone from ‘frantically hyperventilating’ to ‘extremely jumpy’. It was an improvement neither one of them dared to either acknowledge or complain about.

 

“So you looked up without him asking?” Mandy clarified. “Because that’s the only thing I can think of.”

 

Selim shook his head. “No. He asked me to stand up. He seemed so friendly until he looked at me.”

 

“Hmm,” she responded thoughtfully.

 

“You’re drawing a blank too, aren’t you?” he muttered.

 

“Maybe you remind him of someone?”

 

Selim snorted. “Who? And why would that give him a reason to imprison me?” He didn’t sound bitter. He didn’t.

 

He heard Mandy shift and assumed she’d shrugged. “Don’t know.”

 

They sat in silence for several seconds, contemplating.

 

Finally, Selim spoke up. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

 

“Sorry for what?” Mandy asked.

 

“Sorry I dragged you here. I should have listened to you.”

 

She snorted. “Yeah, you should have.” Then she sighed. “But you didn’t, and you had your reasons.”

 

“Doesn’t erase the fact that I was stupid enough to come here to begin with.”

 

“Amen to that,” she muttered, then her voice rose a little. “Why did you do that? It bothered me at the time—that you wouldn’t listen to me at all. Just acting like that isn’t like you. What happened?”

 

It was his turn to snort. “How do you know what I’m like? You’ve known me for all of what, two days? Three?”

 

“Six,” she admitted. “If it’s after midnight here. It’s just, you always seem like you think things through. You’re very methodical except when you’re panicking.”

 

He didn’t want to admit how her words seemed to shame him. “I guess,” he muttered.

 

“So what happened to make you suddenly traipse about the country side and sneak illegally into countries?”

 

“I don’t really know,” he muttered, tapping his hand on the floor again, welcoming the slight comfort it brought. He couldn’t exactly tell her about the strange voice in his head that wanted him to kill people or looked down on them as inferior beings. He could, however, tell her why he’d decided not to go back to Central. “I guess I was sick of waiting for answers to come to me. I think I knew I’d have to go looking for them if I wanted to find them.”

 

“You know, you still haven’t told me what kind of answers you’re looking for,” she said softly.

 

He sighed. May as well. “When Clemin tried to kill my friend and me, he called me a monster. He said I was a homunculus named Selim Bradley.”

 

He practically heard her raise her eyebrow. “And you didn’t think that maybe it was just because Clemin’s crazy and you looked like the kid?”

 

“Of course I did,” he scoffed. “But something about his words…they felt true.”

 

“Selim, you can’t really believe you’re some sort of artificial being, can you?”

 

“I don’t know,” he responded honestly. “I didn’t want to think so, but it just wouldn’t leave me alone. I looked everywhere, spent months researching, wrote down everything I could about my abnormalities…”

 

“Abnormalities?”

 

Selim rolled his eyes and began counting them on his fingers. “I can control shadows. That’s the biggest one.”

 

“Point,” she conceded.

 

“I don’t know who my birth parents were, and my adopted mother avoids the subject like the plague, which I found rather suspicious.” He paused, but Mandy didn’t comment, so he continued. “I’ve always been athletically fit. You pointed out that it’s strange because I don’t actively try to be. I’ve always been really strong compared to other people my age. Plus I could probably eat the entire country of Amestris out of their back up food supply in a month if I really tried to.”

 

Mandy giggled. “That’s not too abnormal.”

 

Selim smiled in spite of himself. It only lasted for a moment before he was back to being serious. “I’ve always felt different from everyone around me. I can’t explain it, but I just knew I was. I couldn’t ever tell my mother because she’d get so sad if I tried, so I started pretending I was normal. I tried to fit in, I really did. I just never…could.”

 

“You’d be surprised,” Mandy said quietly. “I felt the exact same way growing up.”

 

“You’re an alchemist,” Selim pointed out. “Child alchemists aren’t exactly normal. At least you had a reason.”

 

“But it’s not uncommon either,” the dark-haired girl protested. “Besides, I felt like that long before I started practicing alchemy. I don’t know why I always felt different. I just did. Sound familiar?”

 

The small smile returned, and truthfully, Selim found himself enjoying the fact that he was even able to do so at all.

 

“You know, I actually started believing my father was a homunculus,” he admitted. “When I finally found a book that explained them, I went through and checked off what traits did and didn’t fit me. If I count the ability to control shadows, I have about half of them.”

 

“Oh? Can I hear them?”

 

He shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘why not?’ forgetting once again that she couldn’t really see him. “Homunculi are artificially created humans, so they’re inherently different simply because they’re unnatural. Every homunculus has a philosopher’s stone at their heart. I don’t know if that means it is their heart or not.”

 

“I doubt you have one,” Mandy said, snickering. “They don’t exist.”

 

“One way or the other, I’m not about to tear my chest open to find out.”

 

“Sounds smart to me.”

 

He shot her a half smile and continued. “The homunculi are sorted into two categories: greater and lesser. The lesser homunculi are ravenous and don’t let anything stop them. Their entire existence revolves around feeding. Now I know I’m a tad on the gluttonous side, but not to that extent, so it would make more sense that if I was one, I would be one of the second category; greater homunculi. They have their own personalities and powers.”

 

“Like your shadows,” the older girl said softly.

 

“Exactly,” Selim replied, voice equally as soft. “Anyway, every homunculus has a mark—”

 

“Like the one on your forehead?”

 

“No, it’s different,” he responded with a wave of his hand. “I’ve looked everywhere, and no I don’t have one.”

 

“Good enough for me.”

 

He snorted. “They’re supposedly very difficult to kill. That’s another one I’m not about to test.” She didn’t respond so he went on. “Plus if a greater homunculus is transmuted, it would make sense that they’re more or less indentured to the person who formed them. I’m assuming that would have a limit if each homunculus has its own personality, but I can assure you I have never been overly loyal to…” he faded off, memories of his dreams where he knelt before the cold, blond man and how he desperately wanted to help and serve that man in those dreams.

 

“Selim?” Mandy’s voice broke through his thoughts.

 

“Yeah, never been subservient to anyone,” he forced. “At least not that I can remember.”

 

“So, homunculi are difficult to kill, fueled by a mythical wonder stone that doesn’t exist, subservient to the person who created them, have special powers, and are difficult to kill.”

 

“Don’t forget the markings,” Selim confirmed. “They also tend to have more stamina and strength than a human and think of humans as lesser…beings.”

 

A sudden stab of fear jolted through his heart as he recalled the words of the new voice in his head. He gulped.

 

Mandy didn’t notice. “Okay so that’s three of what, eight traits?”

 

“Yeah. Well there are a few more.”

 

“Like what?”

 

He shook the previous train of thought from his head and continued. “Most homunculi don’t grow and change like humans do. They stay the same age for their entire existence. Some do have that ability, but they usually start out as humans to begin with.”

 

“How does that work?” Mandy asked. “How can they be artificial humans if they started off as humans to begin with?”

 

Selim shrugged. “No clue. The book didn’t go into an explanation.”

 

“Oh. So you think that because you have some traits of a homunculus that your father might have been a homunculus.”

 

“Yeah,” Selim nodded. “It would explain everything.”

 

“It would,” Mandy conceded, but she didn’t sound too sure. After a few moments, she finally spoke up again. “Do you really think the Elrics could answer your questions?”

 

“Well, everything I just told you I read from a book the Elrics published. It sounds like they’ve run across a homunculus or two, and so they might be able to answer my specific questions. They may not be able to tell me conclusively, but any information they have could help to clear some things up.”

 

They sat there for several seconds, contemplating their discussion while Selim continued to absently tap the floor.

 

“I didn’t know you knew Morse Code,” Mandy said suddenly.

 

Selim paused, blinking in her direction. “What?”

 

“You just gave a latitude and longitude in Morse Code.”

 

“I did?” Selim asked, blinking down at the hand he couldn’t see.

 

“You didn’t realize it?”

 

“No,” the dark-haired boy replied. “I…didn’t. What were the coordinates?”

 

“About half-way between Central and the Eastern Province boarder, I would think. I’m not all that good with latitude and longitude.”

 

“Oh,” Selim muttered. Then a thought occurred to him. “How do you know Morse Code?”

 

“My father taught me.”

 

“I see.” That reminded him. “Hey, when I woke up earlier you were gone. I asked the servant who brought me food where you were and he said you’d gone to use the telephone. Who did you call?”

 

“He said that?” Mandy asked, sounding suddenly nervous.

 

Selim leaned back against the wall behind him. “Yes, he did.”

 

She didn’t respond for several seconds. When she did, it didn’t escape Selim’s notice that she was talking much more slowly than she normally did. “I contacted a friend, calling in some favors to get us back to Central once we decided to head back to Amestris.”

 

“Oh.” She was hiding something from him. The realization hurt. What could she possibly be hiding? Did she look at him differently now that he’d told her his theory concerning his father? He hoped not, but his sinking heart had already figured otherwise. “Did you get ahold of them?”

 

“Yes,” she said. “They’ll help if we can get to Amestris ourselves. I was planning on meeting them on the way there.”

 

“Someone you met in your travels?” Selim muttered, hoping he didn’t sound too upset.

 

“You could say that.”

 

They sat in an awkward silence for quite a while after that, neither one wanting to break the quiet atmosphere. Of course, the lack of sound and distraction only served to fuel Selim’s fear. He scooted away from the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees again, rocking back and forth.

 

Fortunately, before he could get to a full-blown panic attack again, the door opened a third time, allowing a great deal of light into the room.

 

Looking up, Selim blinked at the brightness, but managed to make out the form of the Emperor and at least two body guards. The door shut, leaving them with just a candle in one of the guards’ hands, but Selim almost wanted to kiss the thing. Any light was better than none.

 

The Emperor no longer looked angry or surprised, but he did still seem confused. His stony expression masked it well though. He glanced at Mandy once but then completely ignored her, turning to Selim instead.

 

“How did you leave Amestris?” he asked bluntly.

 

Selim hated the tone in Emperor Yao’s voice, and something inside of him refused to allow him show his fear in front of the man. He forced an expression of neutrality onto his face and gazed up defiantly. “By train.”

 

Emperor Yao frowned. “How were you able to?” the Xingese man said as if to clarify.

 

“Uh,” Selim wasn’t sure how to answer. He didn’t exactly want to bring up the fact that he didn’t have travel papers. “Why shouldn’t I be able to?”

 

“Because Amestris is your container,” the Emperor said, unable to mask the barest hint of frustration in his voice. “You shouldn’t have the ability to leave.”

 

“Wait,” Selim replied, surprised, “The government is containing me? And you knew about it?” Well that didn’t bode well. If the government had something to do with it, then they believed Selim was a threat. He didn’t particularly care for the connotation that went along with that thought.


 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it!” Emperor Yao growled.

 

“No I don’t!” the Amestrian boy responded angrily. “You want to know how I left? I got on a train. That’s it.”

 

END CHAPTER

 

A/N: No I don't plan on pairing those two up. At least not by the end of the story. Thanks to anyone still reading this!

 

The Emperor seemed to contemplate this for several seconds. Then his expression hardened. “So you got around it somehow. Fine. Then how did you mask your presence?”

 

“Presence?” Selim asked, brow furrowed. “I didn’t know I had a presence to mask.”

 

Emperor Yao ignored him. “You feel so similar to everyone else! How did you do that?! Even I couldn’t do that!”

 

“How can anyone ‘feel’ different? That makes no sense,” Selim retorted, trying not to let his anger and frustration build up. He was half tempted to just knock all these guys out with his shadows and make a run for it. Somehow, though, he thought that probably wouldn’t end well.

 

“I didn’t think your ego could handle you playing dumb,” the Xingese leader muttered. “It’s pathetic. Have you sunken so low?”

 

His words hurt more than they should have. Selim not only realized his intellect—something he had always taken pride in—had been insulted, but also that the insinuation was worse if only because Selim wasn’t playing at anything. It bothered him on such a deep level, and he couldn’t figure out why. It felt as if a friend or close relative had somehow betrayed him and he couldn’t help but sense that the Emperor had known exactly where to hit.

 

“Pathetic?” he responded, voice getting dangerously soft. “This coming from a man who gets a rise out of verbally sparring with fifteen-year-olds? A man who can’t seem to decide how he wants to act at any given moment? Who says one thing and does another all while lying through his teeth? Do your subjects not pay you enough attention that you have to get your fix from other countries’ people?”

 

One of the guards started yelling out in Xingese and stepped forward as if to strike Selim, but Emperor Yao held out his hand. The bodyguard froze, then stepped back as he muttered something that sounded like an apology.

 

Selim and Yao both ignored him as they continued to glare at each other in silence. After a while, the Emperor spoke again. “Why did you attack the train you were riding then?”

 

All of Selim’s defiance practically vanished as his intestines plunged to hit the floor.

 

“H-how…no. I didn’t attack it!” Well, he hadn’t meant to.

 

The Emperor scoffed. “‘Giant, black monsters of indefinable shape’? Did you really think I wouldn’t put that together?”

 

His stomach decided it hadn’t gone low enough and started digging, making him nauseous. “How do you know about that? I haven’t told anyone but Mandy…” Then he put two and two together. It was so simple, why hadn’t he seen it before?

 

“You knew my father.”

 

The Emperor snorted. “Of course I did.”

 

Selim licked his lips. “Who was he?”

 

The question seemed to take the other man back for a moment as he grew very still, watching the teen before him warily.

 

“Please,” Selim continued. “Please tell me!”

 

“You don’t remember?”

 

The teenager swallowed his annoyance, but was unable to do so with the anticipation. “How could I? My adoptive mother told me my parents died when I was a baby.”

 

Realization and shock washed over the Xingese leader’s face. For a moment, everyone in the room froze. Then the Emperor brought a hand up to his forehead and stared blankly ahead, struggling to figure something out. He stood like that for several seconds, not seeming to really see anything as he muttered unintelligibly under his breath.

 

“Then they…” The Emperor said a little louder as he glanced between Selim and Mandy for several moments. Then he let out a sigh. “I’m sending you back to Amestris.”

 

“What?” Selim asked. “Wait! What about my parents! I’ve been looking for these answers for months! Please! You have to tell me!”

 

But Emperor Yao just shook his head. “I can’t. It isn’t my place to say.”

 

“Not your place?!” Selim was starting to get angry again. “Then exactly whose place is it? Because everyone seems intent on hiding the truth from me!”

 

“Have you ever considered that there’s a reason for that?” Ling asked softly.

 

The question seemed so unlike the man that Selim felt his anger settle ever so slightly despite himself. “Of course I have. I know it could be hard to accept, and I know it will probably mark me as different for the rest of my existence…but how can I go through life living a lie? Pretending to be something I’m not?”

 

The Emperor watched Selim for several seconds, as if he couldn’t make up his mind about something. Then he shook his head. “I should kill you. But you risked your life to save my subject’s. For that, I will grant you safe passage back to Amestris.” Selim felt his spirit fall lower and lower with every word. “Just know this; if I ever catch you in my country again, I will not show such mercy.”

 

With that, the Emperor turned to leave, robes swinging stiffly around him as he moved.

 

“Wait,” Selim called. Emperor Yao paused at the door and glanced back at the teenager. “My father…was he a homunculus?”

 

That same contemplative expression fell over the older man’s features again. Without speaking, he turned to go, and Selim grit his teeth in frustration. Then, just before the Emperor moved to step into the hallway beyond, he spoke.

 

“Yes. He was.”

 

Selim didn’t know exactly what to think at first. He felt both excited that he’d finally received a straight answer that he somehow knew he could trust, but sad that what he’d feared had been the truth.

 

“Thank you,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

 

“You should know,” Yao said, “I was going to simply kill you, or leave you here to rot.” Selim felt fear clutch at his heart at the Emperor’s words. “It was your apology before that caused me to consider even keeping you alive. You’ve shown that you can put your pride aside if necessary. I didn’t think that would be possible for you.” He glanced back at Selim once more. “If you ever lose that trait…you will become the monster your father was.”

 

With that, he left, bodyguards following after him. The door clanged shut, and the room fell into darkness once again.

 

“H-hey!” Selim called fearfully. “Hey! Let us out! You said you’d let us go!”

 

“Selim,” Mandy said quietly. “Give them a few minutes. You can handle that, right? With me here?”

 

No. No he couldn’t. But, in light of everything he’d just heard, he could try. “Alright,” he managed to say, forcing himself to sit down. Instinctively, his body returned to his previous position, with one arm wrapped around his knees while the other one struck the floor repeatedly.

 

Mandy didn’t speak again. After a few moments, he heard her walk over to him and sit down somewhere nearby. Then he felt her hand wrap around his, stopping the tapping on the floor.

 

At first he wanted to tell her to back off, but after a moment’s contemplation, he realized that her gesture seemed to give him much more strength than pounding the floor ever could.




They sat like that until the guards came.

[Obi-quiet]

Chapter 12

 

"I think I'll move out here when I finish school," Selim said dully as he stared out the train window at the familiar, golden desert stretching away into the horizon.

 

In the seat across from him, Mandy glanced up, surprised. "Finally stopped moping?" she asked dryly, raising one eyebrow at him. Selim frowned, but couldn't find the motivation to even look over at her. He'd been silent since the guards had come to escort them to the train that would take them back to Amestris. They'd been traveling since before morning, and he'd only been able to really relax after the sun had risen.

 

That had been hours ago and his lingering unease had long since morphed into a tense boredom, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep. Bored or not, he still felt restless and on edge for a reason he couldn't place, and he hated it.

 

Bringing his thoughts back to the matter at hand, he sighed and conceded his companion's point. Maybe he was moping, but he did happen to have a pretty good reason. It didn't help that his fears had been confirmed; that his father had been a monster. At least he'd gotten the answer he'd gone searching for (albeit from the most unlikely place imaginable, not that he was complaining about that).

 

Sinking down a little further into his seat, he found his thoughts straying back to his mother. Perhaps she'd tell him the truth now; tell him everything about his parents and his heritage. After all, he still had questions. If his father had been a homunculus, what about his mother? And what exactly did that make him?

 

A condescending chuckle trickled through the back of his mind. Selim ignored it, but the realization that the voice was gaining strength again did nothing to help calm his unease. Of course, there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it either. The voice had to be something he inherited from his father, just like the ability to manipulate shadows. It made sense.

 

"Hey…" He heard Mandy speak up again, breaking through his thoughts. "Are you okay? I mean, you're alright now that we're not in that cell, right?"

 

"For the last time, I'm fine," Selim responded, snapping a little more than he'd meant to.

 

"Well excuse me for caring," Mandy muttered, going back to her journal. "All you did before was nod like some sort of zombie whenever I asked a question. What was I supposed to think?"

 

"That I can handle myself," the other teen muttered.

 

Mandy paused and raised her gaze to him solemnly. "You know, there's no shame in needing help, and especially not in asking for it."

 

Selim scoffed. "Then why do I hate myself every time I have to?"

 

"Because you're a very proud person."

 

Yeah, that fell under the category of 'last thing he wanted to hear'. "Thanks a lot."

 

"It's not necessarily a bad thing," she continued, flipping a page in the diary over and focusing on it again. "Not necessarily a good thing either. It just…is."

 

"Isn't pride one of the worst sins or something?" Selim murmured, wondering how she could hear him over the clacking of the train. At least this time he wasn't stuck in some freezing or over-heated baggage car. It suddenly occurred to him that luggage car or not, he'd been confined to one train or another for most of the last week. The realization suddenly made the train's interior feel smaller, and he sunk even lower into his seat.

 

Mandy didn't notice, still focusing on her writing. She did, however, answer his question. "I guess so. I've heard of the seven deadly sins: Pride, wrath, um…sloth, envy, lust…uh…I forget the other two."

 

"Gluttony and greed," Selim finished for her, almost without thinking.

 

She paused for a moment, but seemed to dismiss whatever had come to her mind with a shrug. "Right. Thing is, everyone's guilty of one those at some time in their life. Having a tendency towards one doesn't necessarily make you a horrible person, but only as long as you don't let it rule your life. You don't. You're a proud person, yet you ask for help." She looked up as a genuine smile crossed her face. "In my opinion that makes you strong."

 

Tell that to the creepy voice in my head, Selim thought and turned to gaze back out the window. He'd sunk low enough in his seat the he could barely see over the window's edge, but he didn't move.

 

"I don't feel strong."

 

"Very few people who are truly strong feel it."

 

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her. "That sounded awfully deep for you."

 

She shrugged and smiled, catching his somewhat lighter tone. "It was something my mother used to say. One of the few things I remember about her."

 

He appreciated the sentiment but hated the sadness he heard in her voice. He didn't want his own peace of mind to come at someone else's expense. Besides, he disagreed. How could anyone be strong if they didn't feel it?

 

Stifling a groan, he brought his hands up to massage the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache beginning to build, which didn't help his mood. After a moment, he went to drag his hand through his hair only to realize he didn't have much. This time he managed a scowl and glanced over at Mandy again.

 

"Why did they have to cut my hair?"

 

"Oh yeah," she said, brightening. Selim wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. Mandy may be annoying, but he preferred her exuberance over her sadness. Both of them didn't have to wallow in despair. "They did that because you wouldn't wake up when they came to get us in the desert. The rescue team wanted to check for head injuries, and it was all I could do to keep them from completely shaving your head bald, although that would have been entertaining." She snickered.

 

Selim's frown only deepened, but otherwise he ignored the comment.

 

"Apparently," Mandy continued, "they didn't find anything but your tattoo." At that, she rolled her eyes. "Honestly, who gets a tattoo under their hair? Some sort of rebellious phase that you wanted to hide from your mother?"

 

Selim's breath caught in his throat. "Tattoo?" he asked quietly.

 

"Well yeah," she said. "You have a little dragon flying in a circle. There's something else inside of it, but it's hard to see with what's left of your hair in the way. I think it's a star of some sort. Am I right?"

 

The sick feeling gained intensity to a point of almost being painful. "Mandy…I've never gotten a tattoo."

 

She raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Well you have one."

 

Selim paused for a moment before carefully asking his next question. "Do you have a mirror?"

 

Mandy blinked. "Yeah, why?"

 

"I'd like to see it."

 

"Seriously? Well I only have one. I doubt that will be of much use. It's right on the top of your head." She tapped the crown of her head with a finger to illustrate her point.

 

Selim glanced down the aisle. "There's a bathroom on the train."

 

Mandy cocked her head, then shrugged. "Alright. Let me find it first." She began to search through her many pockets while trying to locate the object. Honestly, Selim didn't realize so many could be on one coat. It took her a moment to find the mirror, and when she did, she handed it over to him without saying anything else before going back to her notebook.

 

"Thanks," Selim said as he stood up. She waved her hand in dismissal. "Bathroom," he muttered to the guards. One of them followed him silently, stopping outside the door as he walked in and slid it shut behind him.

 

Grunge and rust had built from years of use around the mirror's edge, making the middle the only place clean enough to view anything clearly. Selim couldn't help but be a little disgusted. At least the rest of the bathroom looked clean.

 

Taking a deep breath, he raised the mirror in his hand and began to scan the top of his head for that tattoo. It took him a moment, but after some searching, he managed to find it. He couldn't see all of it from the angle he had the mirror at, but he could tell what it was immediately.

 

An oroboros; a serpent eating its tail.

 

The possibility had always been there—had always existed—but he hadn't really believed it. After all, the knowledge brought up more questions than answers. Problem was, now he knew the truth.

 

Clemin had been right.

 

Selim was a homunculus.

 

xXx

 

He didn't really know what to do with the knowledge of his true nature. He sat where he'd practically collapsed on the toilet seat in the bathroom for almost half an hour before he could gather his wits enough to return to Mandy.

 

He walked to the front of the car in a daze, Xingese guard in tow. His mind wouldn't stop racing madly despite the still growing pain that throbbed dully through his head. So he was a homunculus, just like his father. Did that mean his mother was a homunculus too? Or had he been created the same as his 'father'? Was he actually acting on an alchemist's behalf? Could he do that and not know it? How had he come into being? Did his mother (his adopted mother) know? Probably. That would definitely explain why she hadn't told him anything before; why she had insisted he drop it. But still…

 

The questions didn't stop, continuing to dash through his mind. Had he originally been human because he could change and grow? Or did he get that from his biological mother? Did that mean he really did have a philosopher's stone somewhere in his body? He got hurt and healed just like everyone else, but was he harder to kill? Why didn't everything fit?

 

Now he felt anxious—almost eager—to return home, sniper or not. He had to ask his mother, demand to know all the answers. He hoped she'd tell him, now that he knew, but he had his doubts. Would she answer his questions?

 

On top of that, how was he supposed to act now? He was an artificial being. Did that make him a monster? He hoped not. He didn't feel like a monster. He didn't really feel any different at all. Then again, did murderers and psychotic killers feel different from the normal, common masses?

 

Finally figured it out, have you?

 

Selim started and froze in the middle of the train's aisle, eyes wide in horror. After a moment, he allowed himself to take a deep, calming breath and continued to his seat. So the voice had returned. He'd almost hoped that it had been gone permanently.

 

"What, did you fall in?" Mandy snickered at her own joke as he approached her. "You were gone a pretty long time."

 

He ignored her comment, mind on other things as he handed the mirror back to her. "Thanks," he said.

 

"No problem," she returned with a smile and shoved the mirror back into one of her pockets. "Guess it took you a while to find it."

 

"Yeah," Selim nodded dully.

 

"Do you remember where you got it now?"

 

"No," Selim muttered. "It's something I've had my whole life."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Something my father gave me," he added.

 

Mandy's eyes widened, all joking aside. "Really?"

 

"Apparently."

 

She wanted to ask more questions, he could tell, but she thankfully caught that he didn't want to talk about it, and for once respected that with change of subject. "Hey, we just passed the border of Amestris. We'll be coming up on our first stop soon. It's an Ishbalan trading town."

 

Selim frowned, thinking back to their trip out of the country, grateful for the distraction. "I don't remember stopping there before."

 

Mandy shrugged. "Neither do I. Maybe they didn't stop on their way to Xing, it's not a very big place yet. We're only going to stop to refuel now and pick up a few people."

 

"Oh."

 

"And guess who I found in the other car," her grin turned into a haughty smirk.

 

Selim turned his head to focus on her. "Who?"

 

"Two people who didn't have their papers on them."

 

He blinked. "Marlin and Bonnie?"

 

"Yup. They're not happy about it either."

 

"Don't blame them."

 

"At least they're not being turned over to the police," Mandy pointed out.

 

"Good," Selim said, mildly surprised to find that he meant it.

 

Apparently Mandy caught it too. "You do remember that they're the ones that kidnapped you, right? They started this whole trip."

 

Selim felt the anger and annoyance behind her sentence, but couldn't catch onto it himself. In his opinion they'd been caught up in this whole thing just as badly as he had. They weren't really evil people as far as he'd seen, so he couldn't really blame them. No, in his mind Clemin held all the responsibility.

 

He allowed a small, vindictive smile to grace his lips as he thought of what he wanted to do to the man when he found him.

 

"Okay, that's a little creepy," Mandy's comment had him looking blankly back at her.

 

"Huh?"

 

"You looked like you were about to kill someone."

 

The smile returned, much stronger. "Kill? I'm not going to be that nice."

 

She blinked at him, her expression suddenly serious. "No, seriously. Don't do that. It really looks creepy. Not cute at all."

 

That last sentence sounded a bit forced, and brought another realization to Selim's acknowledgement: Mandy hadn't called him 'sweetie' or 'cutie' or anything like that since they'd gotten to Xing. Actually, now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember her doing so since they'd hitched a ride on the train. Despite her words about enjoying trying to annoy him, he wondered if she'd taken his confession about her abrasive personality to heart.

 

Just about then, the train lurched slightly as it began to slow down. So they'd reached the trading town? He wondered if it had a name.

 

"So," Selim said, face expressionless again as he turned to look out at the landscape. In his absence the sand had grown rockier and gained some sparse vegetation. "These guys aren't going to let us off until East City, right?" he thumbed in the general direction of the body guards.

 

Mandy fidgeted. "Uh, about that. You know those friends I called back in Xing? Well, the Emperor agreed to let me meet them at the trading post. They'll be waiting for us. This train may head back from there or we could be taking it all the way to East City. I don't know."

 

"Whatever," Selim muttered. "Friends of your fathers?" he asked, not really caring or concentrating on the question. It took him a moment to realize he'd asked a similar question before, when he'd been trapped in the dark room. He shuddered at the memory and focused on his companion's answer as a distraction.

 

"Not really," Mandy muttered. "Look, there's something I have to tell you before we get there."

 

He sighed and turned to look at her. "What is it?"

 

"Well," she started, but hesitated as if she didn't quite know what to say next.

 

Selim opened his mouth to tell her to spit it out (he wasn't in the mood to be patient, what with his recent discoveries and headache now in full force) when the door at the far end of the cabin burst open and two Xingese men came rushing in.

 

The Xingese guards already in the car protested in their own language. One of the men yelled out a hurried conversation before nodding to his fellow guard and retreating the way they'd come, leaving the two guards who had been sitting across the aisle from Mandy and Selim blinking after them.

 

"What's going on?" Mandy asked worriedly.

 

"Other prisoners make trouble," one of them said in a heavy accent.

 

"Those two," the dark-haired girl growled, standing up. Cautiously, Selim followed her lead. He didn't really want to be left alone to his thoughts at the moment. He'd had enough thinking about his current…circumstances. "Let me see what I can do," she muttered.

 

"No, you stay," the guard said as he stood, trying to block her path.

 

"Oh for—look, we're not really prisoners, and we know those people. We can help."

 

The man shook his head. "You stay."

 

Mandy glared at him for several seconds before turning back to her seat and practically collapsed onto it with a huff. "Fine. You guys have fun trying to contain those two."

 

Selim had to admit she had a point. He doubted anyone could hold Bonnie and Marlin for long if the two bounty hunters didn't want to be held. Actually, now that he thought about it, both Selim and Mandy had the power to escape if they wanted to as well.

 

He filed that thought away for possible later use and sank back onto his own cushioned bench and focused on Mandy again.

 

"So, you were—"

 

Just then the door slammed open. Much to the surprise of everyone in the car, Marlin came storming through.

 

"Marlin?" Selim asked. "What's wrong?"

 

The large man flashed a smile at Selim before turning to the two guards, both of whom stood quickly and fell into defensive stances.

 

"We don't want any trouble," he said calmly, his voice dead serious. "We just want off before the station."

 

"Why?" Mandy asked.

 

Marlin shrugged. "Don't want to be turned in."

 

Mandy raised one eyebrow. "Wait, are you saying you actually have warrants out for your arrest?"

 

The older man shrugged. "Don't know and we're not about to stick around and find out." With that, he yelled over his shoulder. "You coming, Bonnie?"

 

"Yes," a voice from behind him answered. Not seconds later, the woman in question slipped through the door. She glanced over at Selim and Mandy for a moment and nodded politely, but that was the extent of her friendliness.

 

"Ready when you are," she said to the large man. He nodded and tromped to the back. The two guards watched them go warily but did nothing to stop them otherwise.

 

"Are you just going to let them walk away?" Mandy asked them curiously.

 

"Not Xing here. They leave. We watch you, not them," the second guard said, speaking for the first time.

 

"In other words, you don't care," Selim clarified wryly.

 

The first guard shrugged and the second remained silent. The door slid shut after the two bounty hunters and Selim had to admit, he felt sorry to see them go.

 

"I'll be right back," he told Mandy as he stood up and turned to follow them.

 

Guard number one protested in Xingese before Mandy could say anything, but Selim ignored him. He managed to reach the door and yank it open before the man could grab him. Not caring whether the guy would follow him or not, Selim leapt over the coupling and rushed into the next empty car just in time to see Marlin wrench open the door on the opposite side.

 

"Hey," he called out. They paused and turned toward him. "I'm sorry it didn't work out. At Xing, I mean. And I wanted to say thanks…" a sharp pang shot through his forehead, causing him to twitch slightly, but he continued anyway. "Thanks for letting me tag along, and for the warning about the sniper."

 

Marlin grinned. "You're alright, kid. Good luck to you."

 

Bonnie also flashed a smile at him. He hadn't seen her do that since the first time he'd met her just after he'd been kidnapped. Had that really only been a week before?

 

"The same to you," he responded with a smile of his own. "Be careful."

 

Marlin snorted, still smiling as he turned around and raised his hand in farewell. "When aren't we?"

 

Selim chuckled and shook his head fondly then winced at the pain that shot through it again. He wasn't about to acknowledge their question with an answer. Then they closed the door. Selim sighed and glanced outside only to realize the train was going slowly enough that they'd probably already hopped off and had begun to sneak into the town somehow. He stood there for a moment, just watching the sagebrush crawl by. It didn't take long for the locomotive to finally come to a complete stop.

 

He turned towards his rather unhappy guard, who had shut both doors in his wake, and cocked his head. "Alright, I'm coming," Selim said as he walked past him and began to lead their short trek back to the front of the next car; except, when he opened the door, expecting to see Mandy and the second guard, no one was there.

 

"Where did they go?" Selim asked his guard who shrugged.

 

The door on the opposite side of the compartment had been left open ever so slightly, so Selim shrugged and walked down the still aisle. He opened the door and stepped over the coupling to the second almost-closed door, but paused at the voice he heard inside.

 

Even at rest trains weren't exactly the quietest invention, but after listening to the clacking and rumbling of full speed for the last several hours, Selim could easily pick out words on the other side. He paused, unable to help himself from listening.

 

"…so sir. He seems to be able to control shadows somewhat, but nothing else." Selim blinked. That was Mandy. What was she doing, telling someone about his powers? He felt a stab of betrayal accompanied by another sharp throb in his head. It was getting hard to think through the pain. Stupid headache. He rarely got them at all. The last few days must have been harder on him than he'd realized.

 

"Are you sure, Major?" A second, much deeper but strangely familiar voice answered. "We have to be absolutely positive." Major? Mandy was a major? State alchemists automatically had a rank of major. He blinked, shocked. Mandy was a state alchemist? How could he have missed that?

 

You're pathetic, the voice in his head cackled in answer to his question. Selim ignored it, continuing to focus on the conversation.

 

"He hasn't mentioned anything else, sir. I've been watching for signs. He doesn't know. Actually, he believes his father was a homunculus."

 

That almost stopped Selim's heart. She'd known. She'd known about him. For a moment his train of thought seemed to freeze on that realization. She was a state alchemist, and she'd known about his true nature. One of the few people he'd bothered to put his trust in and she'd been omitting the truth about—if not outright lying to—him the whole time. A deep anger began to swirl at the back of his mind, accompanied by a gleeful laugh. He didn't care.

 

A prod at his back from the Xingese guard broke through his thoughts. The man obviously wanted Selim to keep moving, but he wasn't about to head into the car now. It only took a thought (and a momentary stabbing pain from his scar) to call his shadow and restrain the foreigner before he could so much as take a breath to yell for help.

 

"His father was a homunculus," the man's voice said.

 

"And his mother?" Mandy asked.

 

"He didn't have a mother. Homunculi don't work like that."

 

A pause as a third voice called out. "This one is alive too, sir! It seems there were no casualties."

 

"Good," the first unknown voice replied. "And find out who those two were. If they were able to take out this many Xingese guards, they're not people to be taken lightly."

 

"Sir!"

 

"So…," he heard Mandy say softly, "you're not going to kill him?"

 

Selim's jaw dropped. There had been at least the possibility of the government (if Mandy was indeed working for the military) killing him and his supposed 'friend' hadn't even deigned to give him a warning? With friends like that, who needed enemies?

 

We don't need anyone.

 

"If what you say is true, then no," the man replied.

 

Another pause fell over them, and then a third unknown voice broke it. "We are ready to head back to East City on your command, sir!"

 

Their stop had been too fast to refuel. Yet another lie adding to the icy anger twisting in his gut. It took him a moment to recognize and acknowledge that his temper seemed different this time—deeper somehow. Despite this, he felt so calm, even with the nigh-unto-migraine on top of everything else. This fury was cold and calculating, and would probably scare him more than his normal smoldering temper at any other time. He'd gone beyond caring though, stuck somewhere in the betrayal and shock that had come with the overheard conversation.

 

Do you see now? The voice asked Selim. Do you understand why we can never trust humans?

 

"Where is he?" the second voice asked before Selim could respond.

 

"With a Xingese guard in another car, sir."

 

"Well, let's go find him, shall we?"

 

"Sir!"

 

Selim glanced at the man still tied up in his shadows and made a split second decision. He didn't want them to know he'd been eavesdropping. He'd have more cards to play that way. Jumping back through the open door behind him (vaguely wondering why the guard hadn't bothered to close it this time), he threw himself on the seat. His shadows carried the man just behind him, still struggling to move and yell out.

 

Selim couldn't have that.

 

With a twitch and another grimace at the pain that went with it, he called the shadow to hit the man in the back of the head, hard. He crumpled in the center of the aisle as the shadows vanished. Selim went to kneel down next to him just as the door opened revealing Mandy followed by a man dressed in full military uniform and the second Xingese guard.

 

Selim knew the stranger instantly, despite the fact that they'd never met: Major General Roy Mustang; the Flame Alchemist. Even studying about him as a child in school, Selim had never cared for the man. Something about the military leader and his slightly filmy eyes had always rubbed him wrong, and he could never figure out why. Now, as those eyes found him, Selim's distaste for the man blossomed almost instantly, morphing from a passive dislike into an utter loathing.

 

It took him a moment to realize just what he was feeling. It confused him because he'd seemed to reach a whole new level of emotion for only the smallest reasons. Yes he'd overheard Mandy and this man discussing his very existence, but most of his anger was directed at his supposed friend, not Mustang. It didn't make sense. He simply hated this man, for no reason.

 

The voice in his head didn't seem to like him any better as it remained silent, but Selim could feel the seething hatred pouring from the other entity. Maybe that was why Selim suddenly despised him so much?

 

"Selim, what happened?" Mandy asked worriedly, rushing over to his side, focusing on the unconscious guard while the second guard leapt over the seats to kneel next to the man. He shot an accusing glance at Selim, but didn't say anything.

 

Meanwhile, Selim focused on Mandy's question. He was actually surprised he could think up a lie as quickly as he did. "Marlin. I guess he thought this guy was going to try to stop him after all. I'm pretty sure he just knocked him out, though."

 

"And you dragged him back here?" Mandy asked, checking the man over and relieved when she found his vital signs.

 

Selim shrugged. "Tried to."

 

"Why didn't he attack you too?" Mustang asked in a calm voice. Selim could see through it somehow. He felt like he was being interrogated by those seemingly dull eyes that hid an otherwise sharp intellect.

 

"I wasn't the one dodging around the cabin yelling at the top of my lungs in another language," Selim responded dryly, and probably a little more coldly than he'd originally meant.

He deserves worse.

 

Selim didn't respond, instead turning back to Mandy and the unconscious guard. He'd have to figure out what to do with the guy before he woke up and told them everything.

 

"They were about to get off," Mandy was saying, motioning for Selim to help lift the man into a nearby seat. He did so mainly to occupy his hands before he wrapped them around someone's throat. The thought slipped over his mind before he could stop it, and the voice latched onto it.

 

You could just kill them and be done with it, it urged. Selim paused. If you did, I would consider coexistence. I could stop the pain…

 

Shut up, Selim retorted, but without his usual ferocity, focusing on getting the guard situated. Before he could do so, though, the second guard scooped the guy up.

 

"We leave now."

 

"Thank you for your services," Mustang said gracefully, stepping to the side and letting them pass. "Please give my regards to Emperor Yao."

 

The man grunted something in return and swept off the train. Selim couldn't help but be relieved. Now he didn't have to worry about the guard waking up and telling them what he'd overheard. He might still find a way to contact someone once they woke up though…

 

If the being in his head had had eyes, he would have rolled them disdainfully. You really should listen to me and just kill them all, but it doesn't matter anyway.

 

And why is that?

 

Because… now Selim could feel a sort of triumphant cockiness. You cannot withstand me forever.

 

I can try.

 

Why should you? To protect those pathetic, weak creatures that have only lied to you so constantly? Who would do anything to keep that truth from you because of their fear? Their innate, subconscious knowledge that we are a superior being.

 

Stop it! Selim responded angrily, I may not be human, but I'm nothing like you!

The voice laughed. Do you really believe that?

"Selim?" Mandy's voice broke through his thoughts. Selim blinked and turned his attention on her. "Are you alright?"

 

"Oh, yeah," he muttered. "I have a headache. That's all."

 

"You don't look very well," she insisted.

 

"It's a really bad headache, alright?" he snapped, almost instantly regretting his words when her eyes gained just a touch of wary hurting. Then he didn't want to feel sorry for her; for his back-stabbing 'friend'. Then he realized what that sounded like and had to sigh. "Sorry, Mandy."

 

"It's alright," she said, smiling reassuringly. "We've had a pretty long day. Now, remember what I was going to tell you earlier?" Selim blinked. Would she tell him now? Had she been about to do so earlier? That would negate all of his previous thought process and just about everything the voice said if she just—

 

"Well, I'm a State Alchemist."

 

He waited for more, but nothing came. That's what she'd been about to tell him? Well that news had been a bit of a surprise, but seriously, that was all? He felt a pang of disappointment dash through him.

 

"You are?" he managed.

 

"Yeah," she said, rubbing the back of her head self consciously. "This is Major General Roy Mustang. Those 'friends' I called were the military. I must admit I didn't expect General Mustang to be the person meeting us here." Selim could practically see the stars of hero worship in her eyes as she glanced up at the taller man, and felt his stomach roll with disgust. Who would look up to this…human?

 

Selim paused, wondering where that thought had come from. He may not care for the Major General, but Mustang was a very prestigious figure of the government and an excellent alchemist from what Selim knew.

 

"General," Selim said, forcing himself to be polite. "My name is—"

 

"Selim Baker. Yes, we know," the General said. "I have personally come to escort you back to Central. Your mother was an old friend of mine, and she called in a favor to me."

 

Selim wanted to scream at the man, but wouldn't even allow a himself to show a disappointed shake of his head. That had been why his mother had been so upset about his questions. If he found out the truth, they would kill him. He couldn't let them know that he knew now. Just more secrets and lies.

 

The very thought seemed to sap every last drop of motivation from his soul. He suddenly just felt so tired of everything…of the whole situation. Still, he stood, falling back on the manners that had been ingrained into him since he could remember.

 

"It is an honor to meet you, sir," he said. "And I appreciate your offer to my mother. Please tell me, is she well?"

 

"Worried about you," Mustang said, nodding. "But otherwise she remains in good health."

 

The slightest weight lifted off of Selim's mind, and he let out a breath. They stood in silence for a few moments after that, with the General finally breaking it.

 

"I will inform the head engineer that we will leave immediately. Major, stay with Mr. Baker here. I will return shortly."

 

"Sir!" Mandy said, clicking her heels together in attention.

 

The General closed the door, and Mandy practically fell onto her seat.

 

"Please tell me that wasn't a dream," she said in a breathy voice. "Please tell me that that was Major General Mustang, one of the greatest alchemists who ever lived, and that he actually spoke to me, and that it wasn't a dream!"

 

Selim blinked at her, uncomfortable with the attention she was giving the man he seemed to instinctively hate. "Hero worship much?" he asked dryly.

 

His comment seemed to snap her out of her daze, but not out of fan-girl mode, "Are you kidding? He almost single handedly saved the country and everyone knows he's going to be the next Fuhrer when Fuhrer Armstrong retires! What's not to admire? Besides, he ages so well." With that she giggled; a sound Selim hadn't heard in days. He immediately wished that the 'pleasure' had been indefinitely postponed.

 

Finally he shook his head, deciding to avoid the subject completely for now. He really didn't want to talk about the Major General. Sighing and wishing his lingering mental fatigue away, he lowered himself onto his own seat.

 

"A State Alchemist?" Selim asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Mandy blushed. "Well, it was the only way my father would allow me to leave the house besides marriage."

 

"Marriage?"

 

She shook her head bitterly. "He comes from an old family. I was supposed to be betrothed to…oh, I lose track. I chased off a good half dozen suitors before they finally accepted me as a State Alchemist."

 

"You'd rather become a dog of the military?" Selim asked.

 

She scowled at his terminology, but didn't comment on it. Instead she answered the question, glancing out the window sadly. "I felt I was giving up less freedom this way. I prefer the military over high society any day."

 

The image of Mandy trying to act proper almost brought a smile back to Selim's face. Almost. Between her fairly modern clothing that didn't seem like anything rich or extravagant and her frizzy, usually unkempt hair, she didn't strike him as someone who would like the etiquette and rules usually enforced by the higher class. Selim himself had mostly been spared that kind of stifling atmosphere, as had Johan, but they were exceptions, not the general rule. At the moment, he couldn't be more thankful, lies or not. The idea of having to practically sell your soul to gain a little freedom…

 

He didn't know why that train of thought made him feel so uncomfortable all of a sudden.

 

Another pang of pain raced through his head and he lifted a hand to massage his scar. The voice that had continued to lurk at the back of his mind snickered cruelly.

 

The car below them suddenly lurched forward. Selim glanced out the window to see the terrain begin to pass slowly by.

 

"So why were you getting a job as an alchemist when I met you?" he asked, moving from her appearance and supposed place in society to what she'd told him about the alchemist job; the reason they'd met to begin with because she would not have otherwise been on the train with Bonnie and Marlin.

 

"Oh, that," she said with a wave of her hand. "You see, I was supposed to go under cover. The military had gotten a tip that alchemists and people who were taking those jobs had been disappearing, and so I was supposed to try and infiltrate. It was perfect too! No one would expect me to be a spy, right?"

 

"No," Selim admitted bitterly. She didn't look or act anything like the State Alchemists he'd met or heard about.

 

She must have caught the note of his voice because she did manage to look sheepish. "Well I was on the lookout for suspicious people, and was on the train that those two took. I didn't really start to get apprehensive until they left for the baggage car and Bonnie came back without Marlin. I decided to check it out. That's when I found you. My station had gotten the missing flyer just before I left, so I figured that I could help you out and get back to my original assignment before—"

 

"Major," Mustang interrupted as he entered the car again. "Is it common practice for you to inform civilians of military intelligence? A good deal of information related to that subject is classified."

 

Mandy blushed bright red and shut her mouth with an audible 'clop'. Selim found himself torn between amusement and annoyance.

 

Without much ado, the General took a seat next to Mandy who looked like she might faint, whether from embarrassment or excitement, Selim didn't know. He realized that he really didn't want to either.

 

They sat in an awkward silence for several minutes as the train finally gained full speed. Mandy was too overcome to make conversation, it seemed (the one time he wouldn't have minded it, Selim realized bitterly) and the other teen found the idea of initiating a conversation with this man more than a little detestable.

 

Finally, after a good quarter of an hour of nothing but the clacking and rumbling of the train, the General cleared his throat.

 

"Major Parkins, please elaborate on your experiences in Xing."

 

Selim silently scoffed at that. Typical general. He couldn't let his stupid façade down for a moment to show any real personal interest or concern. Heaven help all that would break loose if he supposedly did. Selim didn't like the sarcastic tone his thoughts had taken, but he still couldn't muster the motivation to really care.

 

Mandy blinked up at him for a moment before nodding curtly. "Sir! There isn't a whole lot to tell. Once the rescue party finally showed up in the desert, we were taken by train to the boarder. Once there, a royal escort waited to take Selim and myself to the palace, supposedly to honor us for our deeds."

 

"Yes, I heard about that," Mustang said, eyeing Selim with an expression that seemed both distrustful and thoughtful at the same time. "You went into an extremely dangerous area to save a man's life, correct?"

 

Selim stiffened slightly. "Yes sir," he said, forcing himself to be calm.

 

"Why?"

 

Why did everyone find that so difficult to believe? Selim scowled mentally but kept his face neutral. "I wasn't about to let anyone die if I could help," Selim muttered.

 

"Ah, yes. I have heard that you have some special abilities? Could you describe them to me?

 

Selim shot a glare at Mandy, who seemed to find the carpet on the floor suddenly fascinating. Then he figured that he wouldn't be telling them anything they didn't already know, so he addressed the larger alchemist. "It deals with the shadows, sir. I can make them move, but I can't control them well."

 

"How long have you been able to use these 'shadows'," Mustang asked, bringing a hand to his chin and stroking it thoughtfully with one white-gloved hand. The movement seemed more threatening than it should have.

 

"Not long, sir. Just a few days."

 

"Have you used them before that?" he asked.

 

Selim wanted to look away, but he refused to allow himself to do so. "Yes, sir. When I felt my life was in danger, the shadows reacted. It only happened once."

 

The dark-haired man nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. "So when you rescued that man, did you use your 'shadows' then?"

 

It really bothered him that Mustang kept referring to his shadows in quotation, as if it were some childish label and Selim wasn't intelligent enough to know its real name or intent. "Yes, sir," he answered through gritted teeth.

 

"You were with another man, correct?" Mustang asked, looking thoroughly interested. "Did he question you?"

 

Selim shook his head. "No. I passed it off as circle-less transmutation." He dropped the 'sir' completely; something Mustang obviously picked up on as the suspicion that had temporarily been replaced by curiosity abruptly returned.

 

"I helped circulate that rumor," Mandy spoke up. "So people wouldn't panic. I know a lot of high-ranked alchemists who can do so, you yourself being one of them, sir, and gave such examples to anyone who questioned. It worked rather well." She paused and fidgeted, looking uncomfortable. "Um…sir," she said slowly, "is it…I mean would it be possible for me to learn how to do that, sir?"

 

"No," Mustang answered sharply, and just a little too quickly, startling both Mandy and Selim. "That isn't something you can simply learn."

 

His eyes narrowed almost threateningly at Selim. It was such a familiar expression that it seemed to bring back a de ja vous. The homunculus' eyes widened as an image flashed through his mind.

 

xXx

 

"I'd hoped we could avoid this," Selim heard himself say to Mustang who had been quite literally pinned down in the human transmutation circle by none other than Fuehrer Bradley. "But we're out of options. There's no time left."

 

Mustang blanched, gaining a fearful, desperate gleam in his eyes as he glanced between Selim and older man who held a sword in either hand, stabbed right through the Colonal's palms to hold him in place.

 

"We will force you to open the gate," Bradley said, his voice devoid of emotion.

 

xXx

 

His brain practically exploded in pain for a moment before the sensation backed off, allowing Selim to realize he'd yelled out.

 

"Selim?" Mandy asked. "What's wrong?"

 

"It…really hurts," he managed, somehow unable to stop his mind from going over the scene again. The man with the swords had been Fuhrer Bradley, Selim was sure of it. So just what…?

 

He could feel a smug triumph from the other presence in his head.

 

It is finally time.

 

"Sir, isn't there something we can do? Some pain killers?"

 

"Not until we reach East City," he heard Mustang say. Even in his pain, Selim caught the suspicion and wariness in his voice.

 

Selim shoved his apprehension at the man's callousness aside in favor of concentrating on the other being in his head. No! he protested. Leave me alone!

 

There is nothing you can do, weakling. The voice responded coldly.

 

Selim felt the other push somehow, and then, as if he'd passed through a barrier, scenes and images invaded his mind, and all he could do was scream.

[Obi-quiet]

Chapter 12

 

"I think I'll move out here when I finish school," Selim said dully as he stared out the train window at the familiar, golden desert stretching away into the horizon.

 

In the seat across from him, Mandy glanced up, surprised. "Finally stopped moping?" she asked dryly, raising one eyebrow at him. Selim frowned, but couldn't find the motivation to even look over at her. He'd been silent since the guards had come to escort them to the train that would take them back to Amestris. They'd been traveling since before morning, and he'd only been able to really relax after the sun had risen.

 

That had been hours ago and his lingering unease had long since morphed into a tense boredom, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep. Bored or not, he still felt restless and on edge for a reason he couldn't place, and he hated it.

 

Bringing his thoughts back to the matter at hand, he sighed and conceded his companion's point. Maybe he was moping, but he did happen to have a pretty good reason. It didn't help that his fears had been confirmed; that his father had been a monster. At least he'd gotten the answer he'd gone searching for (albeit from the most unlikely place imaginable, not that he was complaining about that).

 

Sinking down a little further into his seat, he found his thoughts straying back to his mother. Perhaps she'd tell him the truth now; tell him everything about his parents and his heritage. After all, he still had questions. If his father had been a homunculus, what about his mother? And what exactly did that make him?

 

A condescending chuckle trickled through the back of his mind. Selim ignored it, but the realization that the voice was gaining strength again did nothing to help calm his unease. Of course, there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it either. The voice had to be something he inherited from his father, just like the ability to manipulate shadows. It made sense.

 

"Hey…" He heard Mandy speak up again, breaking through his thoughts. "Are you okay? I mean, you're alright now that we're not in that cell, right?"

 

"For the last time, I'm fine," Selim responded, snapping a little more than he'd meant to.

 

"Well excuse me for caring," Mandy muttered, going back to her journal. "All you did before was nod like some sort of zombie whenever I asked a question. What was I supposed to think?"

 

"That I can handle myself," the other teen muttered.

 

Mandy paused and raised her gaze to him solemnly. "You know, there's no shame in needing help, and especially not in asking for it."

 

Selim scoffed. "Then why do I hate myself every time I have to?"

 

"Because you're a very proud person."

 

Yeah, that fell under the category of 'last thing he wanted to hear'. "Thanks a lot."

 

"It's not necessarily a bad thing," she continued, flipping a page in the diary over and focusing on it again. "Not necessarily a good thing either. It just…is."

 

"Isn't pride one of the worst sins or something?" Selim murmured, wondering how she could hear him over the clacking of the train. At least this time he wasn't stuck in some freezing or over-heated baggage car. It suddenly occurred to him that luggage car or not, he'd been confined to one train or another for most of the last week. The realization suddenly made the train's interior feel smaller, and he sunk even lower into his seat.

 

Mandy didn't notice, still focusing on her writing. She did, however, answer his question. "I guess so. I've heard of the seven deadly sins: Pride, wrath, um…sloth, envy, lust…uh…I forget the other two."

 

"Gluttony and greed," Selim finished for her, almost without thinking.

 

She paused for a moment, but seemed to dismiss whatever had come to her mind with a shrug. "Right. Thing is, everyone's guilty of one those at some time in their life. Having a tendency towards one doesn't necessarily make you a horrible person, but only as long as you don't let it rule your life. You don't. You're a proud person, yet you ask for help." She looked up as a genuine smile crossed her face. "In my opinion that makes you strong."

 

Tell that to the creepy voice in my head, Selim thought and turned to gaze back out the window. He'd sunk low enough in his seat the he could barely see over the window's edge, but he didn't move.

 

"I don't feel strong."

 

"Very few people who are truly strong feel it."

 

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her. "That sounded awfully deep for you."

 

She shrugged and smiled, catching his somewhat lighter tone. "It was something my mother used to say. One of the few things I remember about her."

 

He appreciated the sentiment but hated the sadness he heard in her voice. He didn't want his own peace of mind to come at someone else's expense. Besides, he disagreed. How could anyone be strong if they didn't feel it?

 

Stifling a groan, he brought his hands up to massage the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache beginning to build, which didn't help his mood. After a moment, he went to drag his hand through his hair only to realize he didn't have much. This time he managed a scowl and glanced over at Mandy again.

 

"Why did they have to cut my hair?"

 

"Oh yeah," she said, brightening. Selim wanted to breathe a sigh of relief. Mandy may be annoying, but he preferred her exuberance over her sadness. Both of them didn't have to wallow in despair. "They did that because you wouldn't wake up when they came to get us in the desert. The rescue team wanted to check for head injuries, and it was all I could do to keep them from completely shaving your head bald, although that would have been entertaining." She snickered.

 

Selim's frown only deepened, but otherwise he ignored the comment.

 

"Apparently," Mandy continued, "they didn't find anything but your tattoo." At that, she rolled her eyes. "Honestly, who gets a tattoo under their hair? Some sort of rebellious phase that you wanted to hide from your mother?"

 

Selim's breath caught in his throat. "Tattoo?" he asked quietly.

 

"Well yeah," she said. "You have a little dragon flying in a circle. There's something else inside of it, but it's hard to see with what's left of your hair in the way. I think it's a star of some sort. Am I right?"

 

The sick feeling gained intensity to a point of almost being painful. "Mandy…I've never gotten a tattoo."

 

She raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Well you have one."

 

Selim paused for a moment before carefully asking his next question. "Do you have a mirror?"

 

Mandy blinked. "Yeah, why?"

 

"I'd like to see it."

 

"Seriously? Well I only have one. I doubt that will be of much use. It's right on the top of your head." She tapped the crown of her head with a finger to illustrate her point.

 

Selim glanced down the aisle. "There's a bathroom on the train."

 

Mandy cocked her head, then shrugged. "Alright. Let me find it first." She began to search through her many pockets while trying to locate the object. Honestly, Selim didn't realize so many could be on one coat. It took her a moment to find the mirror, and when she did, she handed it over to him without saying anything else before going back to her notebook.

 

"Thanks," Selim said as he stood up. She waved her hand in dismissal. "Bathroom," he muttered to the guards. One of them followed him silently, stopping outside the door as he walked in and slid it shut behind him.

 

Grunge and rust had built from years of use around the mirror's edge, making the middle the only place clean enough to view anything clearly. Selim couldn't help but be a little disgusted. At least the rest of the bathroom looked clean.

 

Taking a deep breath, he raised the mirror in his hand and began to scan the top of his head for that tattoo. It took him a moment, but after some searching, he managed to find it. He couldn't see all of it from the angle he had the mirror at, but he could tell what it was immediately.

 

An oroboros; a serpent eating its tail.

 

The possibility had always been there—had always existed—but he hadn't really believed it. After all, the knowledge brought up more questions than answers. Problem was, now he knew the truth.

 

Clemin had been right.

 

Selim was a homunculus.

 

xXx

 

He didn't really know what to do with the knowledge of his true nature. He sat where he'd practically collapsed on the toilet seat in the bathroom for almost half an hour before he could gather his wits enough to return to Mandy.

 

He walked to the front of the car in a daze, Xingese guard in tow. His mind wouldn't stop racing madly despite the still growing pain that throbbed dully through his head. So he was a homunculus, just like his father. Did that mean his mother was a homunculus too? Or had he been created the same as his 'father'? Was he actually acting on an alchemist's behalf? Could he do that and not know it? How had he come into being? Did his mother (his adopted mother) know? Probably. That would definitely explain why she hadn't told him anything before; why she had insisted he drop it. But still…

 

The questions didn't stop, continuing to dash through his mind. Had he originally been human because he could change and grow? Or did he get that from his biological mother? Did that mean he really did have a philosopher's stone somewhere in his body? He got hurt and healed just like everyone else, but was he harder to kill? Why didn't everything fit?

 

Now he felt anxious—almost eager—to return home, sniper or not. He had to ask his mother, demand to know all the answers. He hoped she'd tell him, now that he knew, but he had his doubts. Would she answer his questions?

 

On top of that, how was he supposed to act now? He was an artificial being. Did that make him a monster? He hoped not. He didn't feel like a monster. He didn't really feel any different at all. Then again, did murderers and psychotic killers feel different from the normal, common masses?

 

Finally figured it out, have you?

 

Selim started and froze in the middle of the train's aisle, eyes wide in horror. After a moment, he allowed himself to take a deep, calming breath and continued to his seat. So the voice had returned. He'd almost hoped that it had been gone permanently.

 

"What, did you fall in?" Mandy snickered at her own joke as he approached her. "You were gone a pretty long time."

 

He ignored her comment, mind on other things as he handed the mirror back to her. "Thanks," he said.

 

"No problem," she returned with a smile and shoved the mirror back into one of her pockets. "Guess it took you a while to find it."

 

"Yeah," Selim nodded dully.

 

"Do you remember where you got it now?"

 

"No," Selim muttered. "It's something I've had my whole life."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Something my father gave me," he added.

 

Mandy's eyes widened, all joking aside. "Really?"

 

"Apparently."

 

She wanted to ask more questions, he could tell, but she thankfully caught that he didn't want to talk about it, and for once respected that with change of subject. "Hey, we just passed the border of Amestris. We'll be coming up on our first stop soon. It's an Ishbalan trading town."

 

Selim frowned, thinking back to their trip out of the country, grateful for the distraction. "I don't remember stopping there before."

 

Mandy shrugged. "Neither do I. Maybe they didn't stop on their way to Xing, it's not a very big place yet. We're only going to stop to refuel now and pick up a few people."

 

"Oh."

 

"And guess who I found in the other car," her grin turned into a haughty smirk.

 

Selim turned his head to focus on her. "Who?"

 

"Two people who didn't have their papers on them."

 

He blinked. "Marlin and Bonnie?"

 

"Yup. They're not happy about it either."

 

"Don't blame them."

 

"At least they're not being turned over to the police," Mandy pointed out.

 

"Good," Selim said, mildly surprised to find that he meant it.

 

Apparently Mandy caught it too. "You do remember that they're the ones that kidnapped you, right? They started this whole trip."

 

Selim felt the anger and annoyance behind her sentence, but couldn't catch onto it himself. In his opinion they'd been caught up in this whole thing just as badly as he had. They weren't really evil people as far as he'd seen, so he couldn't really blame them. No, in his mind Clemin held all the responsibility.

 

He allowed a small, vindictive smile to grace his lips as he thought of what he wanted to do to the man when he found him.

 

"Okay, that's a little creepy," Mandy's comment had him looking blankly back at her.

 

"Huh?"

 

"You looked like you were about to kill someone."

 

The smile returned, much stronger. "Kill? I'm not going to be that nice."

 

She blinked at him, her expression suddenly serious. "No, seriously. Don't do that. It really looks creepy. Not cute at all."

 

That last sentence sounded a bit forced, and brought another realization to Selim's acknowledgement: Mandy hadn't called him 'sweetie' or 'cutie' or anything like that since they'd gotten to Xing. Actually, now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember her doing so since they'd hitched a ride on the train. Despite her words about enjoying trying to annoy him, he wondered if she'd taken his confession about her abrasive personality to heart.

 

Just about then, the train lurched slightly as it began to slow down. So they'd reached the trading town? He wondered if it had a name.

 

"So," Selim said, face expressionless again as he turned to look out at the landscape. In his absence the sand had grown rockier and gained some sparse vegetation. "These guys aren't going to let us off until East City, right?" he thumbed in the general direction of the body guards.

 

Mandy fidgeted. "Uh, about that. You know those friends I called back in Xing? Well, the Emperor agreed to let me meet them at the trading post. They'll be waiting for us. This train may head back from there or we could be taking it all the way to East City. I don't know."

 

"Whatever," Selim muttered. "Friends of your fathers?" he asked, not really caring or concentrating on the question. It took him a moment to realize he'd asked a similar question before, when he'd been trapped in the dark room. He shuddered at the memory and focused on his companion's answer as a distraction.

 

"Not really," Mandy muttered. "Look, there's something I have to tell you before we get there."

 

He sighed and turned to look at her. "What is it?"

 

"Well," she started, but hesitated as if she didn't quite know what to say next.

 

Selim opened his mouth to tell her to spit it out (he wasn't in the mood to be patient, what with his recent discoveries and headache now in full force) when the door at the far end of the cabin burst open and two Xingese men came rushing in.

 

The Xingese guards already in the car protested in their own language. One of the men yelled out a hurried conversation before nodding to his fellow guard and retreating the way they'd come, leaving the two guards who had been sitting across the aisle from Mandy and Selim blinking after them.

 

"What's going on?" Mandy asked worriedly.

 

"Other prisoners make trouble," one of them said in a heavy accent.

 

"Those two," the dark-haired girl growled, standing up. Cautiously, Selim followed her lead. He didn't really want to be left alone to his thoughts at the moment. He'd had enough thinking about his current…circumstances. "Let me see what I can do," she muttered.

 

"No, you stay," the guard said as he stood, trying to block her path.

 

"Oh for—look, we're not really prisoners, and we know those people. We can help."

 

The man shook his head. "You stay."

 

Mandy glared at him for several seconds before turning back to her seat and practically collapsed onto it with a huff. "Fine. You guys have fun trying to contain those two."

 

Selim had to admit she had a point. He doubted anyone could hold Bonnie and Marlin for long if the two bounty hunters didn't want to be held. Actually, now that he thought about it, both Selim and Mandy had the power to escape if they wanted to as well.

 

He filed that thought away for possible later use and sank back onto his own cushioned bench and focused on Mandy again.

 

"So, you were—"

 

Just then the door slammed open. Much to the surprise of everyone in the car, Marlin came storming through.

 

"Marlin?" Selim asked. "What's wrong?"

 

The large man flashed a smile at Selim before turning to the two guards, both of whom stood quickly and fell into defensive stances.

 

"We don't want any trouble," he said calmly, his voice dead serious. "We just want off before the station."

 

"Why?" Mandy asked.

 

Marlin shrugged. "Don't want to be turned in."

 

Mandy raised one eyebrow. "Wait, are you saying you actually have warrants out for your arrest?"

 

The older man shrugged. "Don't know and we're not about to stick around and find out." With that, he yelled over his shoulder. "You coming, Bonnie?"

 

"Yes," a voice from behind him answered. Not seconds later, the woman in question slipped through the door. She glanced over at Selim and Mandy for a moment and nodded politely, but that was the extent of her friendliness.

 

"Ready when you are," she said to the large man. He nodded and tromped to the back. The two guards watched them go warily but did nothing to stop them otherwise.

 

"Are you just going to let them walk away?" Mandy asked them curiously.

 

"Not Xing here. They leave. We watch you, not them," the second guard said, speaking for the first time.

 

"In other words, you don't care," Selim clarified wryly.

 

The first guard shrugged and the second remained silent. The door slid shut after the two bounty hunters and Selim had to admit, he felt sorry to see them go.

 

"I'll be right back," he told Mandy as he stood up and turned to follow them.

 

Guard number one protested in Xingese before Mandy could say anything, but Selim ignored him. He managed to reach the door and yank it open before the man could grab him. Not caring whether the guy would follow him or not, Selim leapt over the coupling and rushed into the next empty car just in time to see Marlin wrench open the door on the opposite side.

 

"Hey," he called out. They paused and turned toward him. "I'm sorry it didn't work out. At Xing, I mean. And I wanted to say thanks…" a sharp pang shot through his forehead, causing him to twitch slightly, but he continued anyway. "Thanks for letting me tag along, and for the warning about the sniper."

 

Marlin grinned. "You're alright, kid. Good luck to you."

 

Bonnie also flashed a smile at him. He hadn't seen her do that since the first time he'd met her just after he'd been kidnapped. Had that really only been a week before?

 

"The same to you," he responded with a smile of his own. "Be careful."

 

Marlin snorted, still smiling as he turned around and raised his hand in farewell. "When aren't we?"

 

Selim chuckled and shook his head fondly then winced at the pain that shot through it again. He wasn't about to acknowledge their question with an answer. Then they closed the door. Selim sighed and glanced outside only to realize the train was going slowly enough that they'd probably already hopped off and had begun to sneak into the town somehow. He stood there for a moment, just watching the sagebrush crawl by. It didn't take long for the locomotive to finally come to a complete stop.

 

He turned towards his rather unhappy guard, who had shut both doors in his wake, and cocked his head. "Alright, I'm coming," Selim said as he walked past him and began to lead their short trek back to the front of the next car; except, when he opened the door, expecting to see Mandy and the second guard, no one was there.

 

"Where did they go?" Selim asked his guard who shrugged.

 

The door on the opposite side of the compartment had been left open ever so slightly, so Selim shrugged and walked down the still aisle. He opened the door and stepped over the coupling to the second almost-closed door, but paused at the voice he heard inside.

 

Even at rest trains weren't exactly the quietest invention, but after listening to the clacking and rumbling of full speed for the last several hours, Selim could easily pick out words on the other side. He paused, unable to help himself from listening.

 

"…so sir. He seems to be able to control shadows somewhat, but nothing else." Selim blinked. That was Mandy. What was she doing, telling someone about his powers? He felt a stab of betrayal accompanied by another sharp throb in his head. It was getting hard to think through the pain. Stupid headache. He rarely got them at all. The last few days must have been harder on him than he'd realized.

 

"Are you sure, Major?" A second, much deeper but strangely familiar voice answered. "We have to be absolutely positive." Major? Mandy was a major? State alchemists automatically had a rank of major. He blinked, shocked. Mandy was a state alchemist? How could he have missed that?

 

You're pathetic, the voice in his head cackled in answer to his question. Selim ignored it, continuing to focus on the conversation.

 

"He hasn't mentioned anything else, sir. I've been watching for signs. He doesn't know. Actually, he believes his father was a homunculus."

 

That almost stopped Selim's heart. She'd known. She'd known about him. For a moment his train of thought seemed to freeze on that realization. She was a state alchemist, and she'd known about his true nature. One of the few people he'd bothered to put his trust in and she'd been omitting the truth about—if not outright lying to—him the whole time. A deep anger began to swirl at the back of his mind, accompanied by a gleeful laugh. He didn't care.

 

A prod at his back from the Xingese guard broke through his thoughts. The man obviously wanted Selim to keep moving, but he wasn't about to head into the car now. It only took a thought (and a momentary stabbing pain from his scar) to call his shadow and restrain the foreigner before he could so much as take a breath to yell for help.

 

"His father was a homunculus," the man's voice said.

 

"And his mother?" Mandy asked.

 

"He didn't have a mother. Homunculi don't work like that."

 

A pause as a third voice called out. "This one is alive too, sir! It seems there were no casualties."

 

"Good," the first unknown voice replied. "And find out who those two were. If they were able to take out this many Xingese guards, they're not people to be taken lightly."

 

"Sir!"

 

"So…," he heard Mandy say softly, "you're not going to kill him?"

 

Selim's jaw dropped. There had been at least the possibility of the government (if Mandy was indeed working for the military) killing him and his supposed 'friend' hadn't even deigned to give him a warning? With friends like that, who needed enemies?

 

We don't need anyone.

 

"If what you say is true, then no," the man replied.

 

Another pause fell over them, and then a third unknown voice broke it. "We are ready to head back to East City on your command, sir!"

 

Their stop had been too fast to refuel. Yet another lie adding to the icy anger twisting in his gut. It took him a moment to recognize and acknowledge that his temper seemed different this time—deeper somehow. Despite this, he felt so calm, even with the nigh-unto-migraine on top of everything else. This fury was cold and calculating, and would probably scare him more than his normal smoldering temper at any other time. He'd gone beyond caring though, stuck somewhere in the betrayal and shock that had come with the overheard conversation.

 

Do you see now? The voice asked Selim. Do you understand why we can never trust humans?

 

"Where is he?" the second voice asked before Selim could respond.

 

"With a Xingese guard in another car, sir."

 

"Well, let's go find him, shall we?"

 

"Sir!"

 

Selim glanced at the man still tied up in his shadows and made a split second decision. He didn't want them to know he'd been eavesdropping. He'd have more cards to play that way. Jumping back through the open door behind him (vaguely wondering why the guard hadn't bothered to close it this time), he threw himself on the seat. His shadows carried the man just behind him, still struggling to move and yell out.

 

Selim couldn't have that.

 

With a twitch and another grimace at the pain that went with it, he called the shadow to hit the man in the back of the head, hard. He crumpled in the center of the aisle as the shadows vanished. Selim went to kneel down next to him just as the door opened revealing Mandy followed by a man dressed in full military uniform and the second Xingese guard.

 

Selim knew the stranger instantly, despite the fact that they'd never met: Major General Roy Mustang; the Flame Alchemist. Even studying about him as a child in school, Selim had never cared for the man. Something about the military leader and his slightly filmy eyes had always rubbed him wrong, and he could never figure out why. Now, as those eyes found him, Selim's distaste for the man blossomed almost instantly, morphing from a passive dislike into an utter loathing.

 

It took him a moment to realize just what he was feeling. It confused him because he'd seemed to reach a whole new level of emotion for only the smallest reasons. Yes he'd overheard Mandy and this man discussing his very existence, but most of his anger was directed at his supposed friend, not Mustang. It didn't make sense. He simply hated this man, for no reason.

 

The voice in his head didn't seem to like him any better as it remained silent, but Selim could feel the seething hatred pouring from the other entity. Maybe that was why Selim suddenly despised him so much?

 

"Selim, what happened?" Mandy asked worriedly, rushing over to his side, focusing on the unconscious guard while the second guard leapt over the seats to kneel next to the man. He shot an accusing glance at Selim, but didn't say anything.

 

Meanwhile, Selim focused on Mandy's question. He was actually surprised he could think up a lie as quickly as he did. "Marlin. I guess he thought this guy was going to try to stop him after all. I'm pretty sure he just knocked him out, though."

 

"And you dragged him back here?" Mandy asked, checking the man over and relieved when she found his vital signs.

 

Selim shrugged. "Tried to."

 

"Why didn't he attack you too?" Mustang asked in a calm voice. Selim could see through it somehow. He felt like he was being interrogated by those seemingly dull eyes that hid an otherwise sharp intellect.

 

"I wasn't the one dodging around the cabin yelling at the top of my lungs in another language," Selim responded dryly, and probably a little more coldly than he'd originally meant.

He deserves worse.

 

Selim didn't respond, instead turning back to Mandy and the unconscious guard. He'd have to figure out what to do with the guy before he woke up and told them everything.

 

"They were about to get off," Mandy was saying, motioning for Selim to help lift the man into a nearby seat. He did so mainly to occupy his hands before he wrapped them around someone's throat. The thought slipped over his mind before he could stop it, and the voice latched onto it.

 

You could just kill them and be done with it, it urged. Selim paused. If you did, I would consider coexistence. I could stop the pain…

 

Shut up, Selim retorted, but without his usual ferocity, focusing on getting the guard situated. Before he could do so, though, the second guard scooped the guy up.

 

"We leave now."

 

"Thank you for your services," Mustang said gracefully, stepping to the side and letting them pass. "Please give my regards to Emperor Yao."

 

The man grunted something in return and swept off the train. Selim couldn't help but be relieved. Now he didn't have to worry about the guard waking up and telling them what he'd overheard. He might still find a way to contact someone once they woke up though…

 

If the being in his head had had eyes, he would have rolled them disdainfully. You really should listen to me and just kill them all, but it doesn't matter anyway.

 

And why is that?

 

Because… now Selim could feel a sort of triumphant cockiness. You cannot withstand me forever.

 

I can try.

 

Why should you? To protect those pathetic, weak creatures that have only lied to you so constantly? Who would do anything to keep that truth from you because of their fear? Their innate, subconscious knowledge that we are a superior being.

 

Stop it! Selim responded angrily, I may not be human, but I'm nothing like you!

The voice laughed. Do you really believe that?

"Selim?" Mandy's voice broke through his thoughts. Selim blinked and turned his attention on her. "Are you alright?"

 

"Oh, yeah," he muttered. "I have a headache. That's all."

 

"You don't look very well," she insisted.

 

"It's a really bad headache, alright?" he snapped, almost instantly regretting his words when her eyes gained just a touch of wary hurting. Then he didn't want to feel sorry for her; for his back-stabbing 'friend'. Then he realized what that sounded like and had to sigh. "Sorry, Mandy."

 

"It's alright," she said, smiling reassuringly. "We've had a pretty long day. Now, remember what I was going to tell you earlier?" Selim blinked. Would she tell him now? Had she been about to do so earlier? That would negate all of his previous thought process and just about everything the voice said if she just—

 

"Well, I'm a State Alchemist."

 

He waited for more, but nothing came. That's what she'd been about to tell him? Well that news had been a bit of a surprise, but seriously, that was all? He felt a pang of disappointment dash through him.

 

"You are?" he managed.

 

"Yeah," she said, rubbing the back of her head self consciously. "This is Major General Roy Mustang. Those 'friends' I called were the military. I must admit I didn't expect General Mustang to be the person meeting us here." Selim could practically see the stars of hero worship in her eyes as she glanced up at the taller man, and felt his stomach roll with disgust. Who would look up to this…human?

 

Selim paused, wondering where that thought had come from. He may not care for the Major General, but Mustang was a very prestigious figure of the government and an excellent alchemist from what Selim knew.

 

"General," Selim said, forcing himself to be polite. "My name is—"

 

"Selim Baker. Yes, we know," the General said. "I have personally come to escort you back to Central. Your mother was an old friend of mine, and she called in a favor to me."

 

Selim wanted to scream at the man, but wouldn't even allow a himself to show a disappointed shake of his head. That had been why his mother had been so upset about his questions. If he found out the truth, they would kill him. He couldn't let them know that he knew now. Just more secrets and lies.

 

The very thought seemed to sap every last drop of motivation from his soul. He suddenly just felt so tired of everything…of the whole situation. Still, he stood, falling back on the manners that had been ingrained into him since he could remember.

 

"It is an honor to meet you, sir," he said. "And I appreciate your offer to my mother. Please tell me, is she well?"

 

"Worried about you," Mustang said, nodding. "But otherwise she remains in good health."

 

The slightest weight lifted off of Selim's mind, and he let out a breath. They stood in silence for a few moments after that, with the General finally breaking it.

 

"I will inform the head engineer that we will leave immediately. Major, stay with Mr. Baker here. I will return shortly."

 

"Sir!" Mandy said, clicking her heels together in attention.

 

The General closed the door, and Mandy practically fell onto her seat.

 

"Please tell me that wasn't a dream," she said in a breathy voice. "Please tell me that that was Major General Mustang, one of the greatest alchemists who ever lived, and that he actually spoke to me, and that it wasn't a dream!"

 

Selim blinked at her, uncomfortable with the attention she was giving the man he seemed to instinctively hate. "Hero worship much?" he asked dryly.

 

His comment seemed to snap her out of her daze, but not out of fan-girl mode, "Are you kidding? He almost single handedly saved the country and everyone knows he's going to be the next Fuhrer when Fuhrer Armstrong retires! What's not to admire? Besides, he ages so well." With that she giggled; a sound Selim hadn't heard in days. He immediately wished that the 'pleasure' had been indefinitely postponed.

 

Finally he shook his head, deciding to avoid the subject completely for now. He really didn't want to talk about the Major General. Sighing and wishing his lingering mental fatigue away, he lowered himself onto his own seat.

 

"A State Alchemist?" Selim asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Mandy blushed. "Well, it was the only way my father would allow me to leave the house besides marriage."

 

"Marriage?"

 

She shook her head bitterly. "He comes from an old family. I was supposed to be betrothed to…oh, I lose track. I chased off a good half dozen suitors before they finally accepted me as a State Alchemist."

 

"You'd rather become a dog of the military?" Selim asked.

 

She scowled at his terminology, but didn't comment on it. Instead she answered the question, glancing out the window sadly. "I felt I was giving up less freedom this way. I prefer the military over high society any day."

 

The image of Mandy trying to act proper almost brought a smile back to Selim's face. Almost. Between her fairly modern clothing that didn't seem like anything rich or extravagant and her frizzy, usually unkempt hair, she didn't strike him as someone who would like the etiquette and rules usually enforced by the higher class. Selim himself had mostly been spared that kind of stifling atmosphere, as had Johan, but they were exceptions, not the general rule. At the moment, he couldn't be more thankful, lies or not. The idea of having to practically sell your soul to gain a little freedom…

 

He didn't know why that train of thought made him feel so uncomfortable all of a sudden.

 

Another pang of pain raced through his head and he lifted a hand to massage his scar. The voice that had continued to lurk at the back of his mind snickered cruelly.

 

The car below them suddenly lurched forward. Selim glanced out the window to see the terrain begin to pass slowly by.

 

"So why were you getting a job as an alchemist when I met you?" he asked, moving from her appearance and supposed place in society to what she'd told him about the alchemist job; the reason they'd met to begin with because she would not have otherwise been on the train with Bonnie and Marlin.

 

"Oh, that," she said with a wave of her hand. "You see, I was supposed to go under cover. The military had gotten a tip that alchemists and people who were taking those jobs had been disappearing, and so I was supposed to try and infiltrate. It was perfect too! No one would expect me to be a spy, right?"

 

"No," Selim admitted bitterly. She didn't look or act anything like the State Alchemists he'd met or heard about.

 

She must have caught the note of his voice because she did manage to look sheepish. "Well I was on the lookout for suspicious people, and was on the train that those two took. I didn't really start to get apprehensive until they left for the baggage car and Bonnie came back without Marlin. I decided to check it out. That's when I found you. My station had gotten the missing flyer just before I left, so I figured that I could help you out and get back to my original assignment before—"

 

"Major," Mustang interrupted as he entered the car again. "Is it common practice for you to inform civilians of military intelligence? A good deal of information related to that subject is classified."

 

Mandy blushed bright red and shut her mouth with an audible 'clop'. Selim found himself torn between amusement and annoyance.

 

Without much ado, the General took a seat next to Mandy who looked like she might faint, whether from embarrassment or excitement, Selim didn't know. He realized that he really didn't want to either.

 

They sat in an awkward silence for several minutes as the train finally gained full speed. Mandy was too overcome to make conversation, it seemed (the one time he wouldn't have minded it, Selim realized bitterly) and the other teen found the idea of initiating a conversation with this man more than a little detestable.

 

Finally, after a good quarter of an hour of nothing but the clacking and rumbling of the train, the General cleared his throat.

 

"Major Parkins, please elaborate on your experiences in Xing."

 

Selim silently scoffed at that. Typical general. He couldn't let his stupid façade down for a moment to show any real personal interest or concern. Heaven help all that would break loose if he supposedly did. Selim didn't like the sarcastic tone his thoughts had taken, but he still couldn't muster the motivation to really care.

 

Mandy blinked up at him for a moment before nodding curtly. "Sir! There isn't a whole lot to tell. Once the rescue party finally showed up in the desert, we were taken by train to the boarder. Once there, a royal escort waited to take Selim and myself to the palace, supposedly to honor us for our deeds."

 

"Yes, I heard about that," Mustang said, eyeing Selim with an expression that seemed both distrustful and thoughtful at the same time. "You went into an extremely dangerous area to save a man's life, correct?"

 

Selim stiffened slightly. "Yes sir," he said, forcing himself to be calm.

 

"Why?"

 

Why did everyone find that so difficult to believe? Selim scowled mentally but kept his face neutral. "I wasn't about to let anyone die if I could help," Selim muttered.

 

"Ah, yes. I have heard that you have some special abilities? Could you describe them to me?

 

Selim shot a glare at Mandy, who seemed to find the carpet on the floor suddenly fascinating. Then he figured that he wouldn't be telling them anything they didn't already know, so he addressed the larger alchemist. "It deals with the shadows, sir. I can make them move, but I can't control them well."

 

"How long have you been able to use these 'shadows'," Mustang asked, bringing a hand to his chin and stroking it thoughtfully with one white-gloved hand. The movement seemed more threatening than it should have.

 

"Not long, sir. Just a few days."

 

"Have you used them before that?" he asked.

 

Selim wanted to look away, but he refused to allow himself to do so. "Yes, sir. When I felt my life was in danger, the shadows reacted. It only happened once."

 

The dark-haired man nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer. "So when you rescued that man, did you use your 'shadows' then?"

 

It really bothered him that Mustang kept referring to his shadows in quotation, as if it were some childish label and Selim wasn't intelligent enough to know its real name or intent. "Yes, sir," he answered through gritted teeth.

 

"You were with another man, correct?" Mustang asked, looking thoroughly interested. "Did he question you?"

 

Selim shook his head. "No. I passed it off as circle-less transmutation." He dropped the 'sir' completely; something Mustang obviously picked up on as the suspicion that had temporarily been replaced by curiosity abruptly returned.

 

"I helped circulate that rumor," Mandy spoke up. "So people wouldn't panic. I know a lot of high-ranked alchemists who can do so, you yourself being one of them, sir, and gave such examples to anyone who questioned. It worked rather well." She paused and fidgeted, looking uncomfortable. "Um…sir," she said slowly, "is it…I mean would it be possible for me to learn how to do that, sir?"

 

"No," Mustang answered sharply, and just a little too quickly, startling both Mandy and Selim. "That isn't something you can simply learn."

 

His eyes narrowed almost threateningly at Selim. It was such a familiar expression that it seemed to bring back a de ja vous. The homunculus' eyes widened as an image flashed through his mind.

 

xXx

 

"I'd hoped we could avoid this," Selim heard himself say to Mustang who had been quite literally pinned down in the human transmutation circle by none other than Fuehrer Bradley. "But we're out of options. There's no time left."

 

Mustang blanched, gaining a fearful, desperate gleam in his eyes as he glanced between Selim and older man who held a sword in either hand, stabbed right through the Colonal's palms to hold him in place.

 

"We will force you to open the gate," Bradley said, his voice devoid of emotion.

 

xXx

 

His brain practically exploded in pain for a moment before the sensation backed off, allowing Selim to realize he'd yelled out.

 

"Selim?" Mandy asked. "What's wrong?"

 

"It…really hurts," he managed, somehow unable to stop his mind from going over the scene again. The man with the swords had been Fuhrer Bradley, Selim was sure of it. So just what…?

 

He could feel a smug triumph from the other presence in his head.

 

It is finally time.

 

"Sir, isn't there something we can do? Some pain killers?"

 

"Not until we reach East City," he heard Mustang say. Even in his pain, Selim caught the suspicion and wariness in his voice.

 

Selim shoved his apprehension at the man's callousness aside in favor of concentrating on the other being in his head. No! he protested. Leave me alone!

 

There is nothing you can do, weakling. The voice responded coldly.

 

Selim felt the other push somehow, and then, as if he'd passed through a barrier, scenes and images invaded his mind, and all he could do was scream.

[Obi-quiet]

Warning: Major spoilers to follow in this chapter.

 

Chapter 13

 

The tunnel had been started. Their dream was beginning to turn into a reality. Soon they would rid the world of the weak beings that thrived off of it and they would open the gate. Then all would be theirs.

 

xXx

 

Selim heard himself breathing hard between the screams, but it seemed as if it all happened from a distance. The scenes continued overwhelming his mind, as if he could see years and years of memories in just moments; and they didn’t stop.

 

xXx

 

“You should have waited for my permission,” the blond man with the beard was saying. The only outward sign of his displeasure was the tone in his voice.

 

“Please forgive me, Father,” Selim heard himself say, “but he knew too much. He will be easily replaced.”

 

“We would not need to replace him if we simply manipulated him. The promise of power and wealth will buy the heart of almost any human. Do you understand?”

 

Selim nodded. “Yes, Father.”

 

“Good. See that you do not forget.”

 

“Yes, Father.”

xXx

 

He heard of the exploits of the Fullmetal Alchemist and his younger brother and could only shake his head at them. Sacrifices weren’t supposed to risk their lives and bodies like that. Then he’d met him and couldn’t help but be…under whelmed. Seriously, were teenagers supposed to be that short? At least Selim and his container had a reason for being small.

 

That stunted, small being was supposed to be one of the keys to Father’s plan?

 

xXx

 

First there was darkness, then light. It blinded and hurt. He didn’t cry out though. He would be strong. Somehow this very idea seemed to be ingrained into the very fiber of his being.

 

Fighting back a grimace (somehow knowing it would be undesirable to show an expression of his discomfort), he looked up at the man towering over him.

 

“Welcome, my first born,” he said.

 

xXx

 

“Selim? Selim?!” Vaguely he heard Mandy shouting his name, but he couldn’t seem to answer. There was so much there…so much knowledge, so many memories. It felt as if his mind would burst.

 

Is this what it felt like for an alchemist who saw the Gate of Truth?

 

Where had that come from? It seemed so foreign and yet familiar…

 

xXx

 

As soon as he saw the white, he knew he’d succeeded. Mustang stood rigid and prepared, but also confused and shaking as he tried to mask his fear. Then he turned around to see the being that kept the Gate. Selim couldn’t help but enjoy the utter horror on the man’s face. A deep, twisted smirk crossed his own face as he anticipated the pain that would follow. He wasn’t disappointed. The normally stoic colonel screamed in sheer agony as his hands suddenly shot to his face. Selim’s grin widened.

 

“That is the price you pay, Alchemist,” the strange gatekeeper said.

 

Then the dark-haired man was suddenly pulled towards the gate by the pitch-black hands that so resembled Selim’s own power. He frowned, knowing he’d have to hitch a ride to get back. This was where the risk to him came in.

 

Good mood dampened, he reluctantly followed Mustang through the gate, glancing back at the being just once before the giant doors closed.

 

“You paid an interesting price as well,” it said before he’d found himself back in Father’s lair.

 

xXx

It often surprised him how easily the sacrifices allowed themselves to be controlled. Couldn’t they see it? Was it truly that difficult for them to not notice Father’s hand in all of it? And they were supposed to be geniuses; amazing beings with incredible abilities. No wonder the human race was doomed.

 

xXx

 

He could see it now, just how well Father’s plan would work. The mere idea behind it was so advanced it almost stunned him. He often found himself in awe simply when thinking about it. And today he would begin his first assignment. Today he would take on the persona of the adopted son of Amestris’ leader. Today, they would take another step closer to ensuring their victory.

xXx

 

“Selim, answer me!” Mandy screeched.

 

“Too much…” Selim heard himself say. Somehow he’d ended up on the floor, hands clutching his head as he fought to contain the knowledge and information that continued to pour into his mind. How could he ever contain it all?

 

Fool. You can’t.

 

Selim’s eyes went wide, although they couldn’t focus. “No…stay back,” he managed to get out. “Get away!’

 

He didn’t see Mandy’s worried expression as she backed off, nor did he notice Mustang’s grim stare.

 

Do you honestly believe you can win against me? Actually, Selim didn’t really know what to believe at the moment, and he couldn’t clear his mind enough to think it through either. I will not be subject to your weakness any longer.

 

He tried to stay conscious, he really did, but he wasn’t sure how well he succeeded. With all the memories suddenly running through his head, he couldn’t focus on much of anything. His eyes refused to take in any sight and he couldn’t register any feeling from his body. It was as if his mind had been lost in a maelstrom of sorts, and he had no anchor to hold him to safety.

 

Unable to hold on any longer, he registered something akin to slipping inside of his soul somewhere, and then nothing.

 

xXx

 

Mandy already felt guilty enough for quite literally reporting Selim’s secrets. She hated lying to him. The government already knew practically everything about him, but that didn’t stop her from feeling terrible. His abrupt screaming and grabbing his head in pain only added worry to the guilt. Now she knelt by him, panicked as he continued to yell and scream on the ground.

 

“Selim!” she shouted, trying to be heard over him. “Selim, answer me!” They needed to get him focused on the here and now if the pain was really that bad. She’d do a field diagnosis and see what they could do, but she could really only do that if he could answer her questions.

 

“Too much,” he managed to gasp out.

 

“What?” Mandy said, but she doubted he heard her. He just clutched his head tighter. She hated this. She felt so helpless and useless, not an unusual feeling for her, but she thought she’d put that behind her when she’d been accepted as a state alchemist.

 

She really needed to learn Alchestry. Healing just might be helpful at times like these. She berated herself for the sarcastic thoughts. Sitting here and commenting on the unfairness of the universe wouldn’t change anything.

 

“No…stay back!” Selim said suddenly. Surprised, Mandy snatched her hand away from where it had been resting on his shoulder. “Get away!” he yelled. Instinctively, she stood up and backed away from him, bumping into her idol. She would often look back later and it would strike her as to just how worried she had to be to not even register that fact.

 

“Selim…” Mandy said almost desperately, but she didn’t approach him. The General stayed silent.

 

The door burst open and several military officers began to pour in, lead by Lieutenant Hawkeye—a woman with short, blond hair that Mandy had only just been introduced to when she’d gone to meet the military personnel earlier (and been utterly shocked that the General Mustang had come to meet them personally). The Lieutenant and all of the soldiers had their weapons drawn, having heard the yelling and screaming.

 

“What is the situation, sir?” the blond woman asked.

 

Mustang opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again when, unexpectedly, Selim stopped screaming. Everyone watched with baited anticipation as he just lay there for a few moments, breathing hard. Then he got to his feet slowly and casually, as if nothing had happened.

 

“Selim,” Mandy said again, going to step forward, but a hand on her shoulder held her back. Confused, she glanced back at General Mustang. He didn’t move his steely gaze away from the dark-haired boy. “Sir,” she started, but Selim cut her off.

 

“Roy Mustang,” he said. Mandy gasped, her own eyes shooting to the homunculus. It wasn’t the same person. It couldn’t be. It sounded like several people had spoken at once, and his words alone held a hatred that sent fear shooting up and down her spine. It couldn’t touch the emotion in his violet eyes; as if he’d stepped in a foul-smelling puddle and had to remain in the company of whatever pathetic creature had made it. It was an expression she’d seen on so many nobles her father had introduced her to; it usually meant that Mandy was just wasting the time of her supposed betters. She hated that expression, and she had never seen anyone pull it of to such an extreme. She felt a sickness begin to stir in her stomach as he continued to speak. “The Flame Alchemist. Still not Fuehrer?”

 

General Mustang’s grip on Mandy’s shoulder tightened.

 

Selim continued, tone still condescending. “I see you’ve regained your eyesight. Pity. I wanted the last thing you ever saw to be the gate.”

 

Mandy’s jaw dropped in disbelief. His words seemed to pound on her soul harder and harder with every syllable. She wanted him to stop; to say it was a joke and he was leading her on before grinning that somewhat condescending and yet horribly sincere grin of his. He didn’t, and his continued, smug silence only proved her theory, no matter how much she didn’t want to acknowledge it: This wasn’t Selim at all. This was the homunculus; the one that General Mustang had said he would kill. Before, she’d been unable to imagine Selim ever being a real threat. Now though…

 

Several clicks from off to the side had them glancing at the guards and Lt. Hawkeye. She had a blank expression on her face as she aimed her gun straight for Selim’s head.

 

“Fire at will,” she heard Mustang say, and her stomach clenched. Just like that? What about Selim? Her Selim; the one she’d gotten to know over the last week. He had to still be in there somewhere, right?

 

She yelped and crouched down on instinct as several guns went off. Then she snapped her head up to look over at Selim. To both her great relief and confusion, he stood there smirking triumphantly, as relaxed as ever. She glanced back and around the room. The guards lay scattered, all on their backs and all looking down at their feet, where shadows had wrapped around them.

 

Then she heard a muffled sound over her head and looked up to see Lieutenant Hawkeye hanging over what looked to be a shadow monster of some sort. It had an eye above what looked like a long, thin mouth and razor sharp teeth. Mandy cried out, but didn’t dare move.

 

Thankfully, no one paid her any attention.

 

“I think I’ll let her be the first life to replenish the energy in my stone,” Selim said in the same, smirking tone. Mandy blinked. Stone? What stone? “What do you think, Colonal? Oh, wait, you’re a Major General now, aren’t you? All that power and still useless.” Without waiting for a reply, the shadows dropped the woman who fell, struggling, towards the mouth—

 

Snap!

 

A miniature explosion of flame blew Mandy down hard as it singed the seats. From the shaking floor of the train car, she blinked and looked back up at General Mustang, then over at Selim and Lt. Hawkeye. The woman had somehow escaped, much to Mandy’s relief. She could see the blond jumping over the worn, red seats of the train, scrambling to get away despite her age.

 

Selim’s eyes had narrowed, but otherwise he hadn’t moved a muscle. “That was rather reckless. In such a small space?” he said to the General.

 

“Your shadows versus my flames; of all the powers the homunculi had, yours are the weakest against me; and I killed two of you.”

 

Selim raised an eyebrow curiously. He didn’t seem worried in the slightest. “You could have snapped several times earlier in the conversation. Why didn’t you?”

 

“Any last words for your mother?” Mustang asked softly.

 

At first, Selim didn’t respond. Then he burst out into a laugh; a cruel, heartless guffaw that didn’t fit the boy she’d come to know at all. She wanted to stop him; to stop all of this, but had no idea where to even start. It suddenly hit Mandy as to how much she really hated the whole situation. She wanted to intervene, but as long as Selim acted like this, she didn’t dare. Her mind somehow didn’t seem to want to connect to her body anyway.

 

“Pity and sadness,” Selim scoffed. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else from stupid, sentimental humans.” The General’s mouth thinned into a hard line, and he went to raise his hand again, but then his eyes flew wide as his body went rigid. Puzzled, scared, and confused, Mandy tried to find the source of his worry. It took her a moment to catch the tiny, dark line that trailed from the shadows of the scorched benches to the General’s own shadow.

 

Gulping, she glanced at his outstretched hands, and realized that she could see just the barest hint of the same dark lines encircling his wrist, glove and even fingers, holding them in place.

 

“You see, human,” Selim went on, still standing with his hands tucked casually into his pockets, “my shadows are indeed susceptible to your flames, but only when you can use them. Did you honestly think I had survived for 300 years by relying on my shadows alone?” He scoffed again. “Just one of the many reasons why homunculi are superior beings.

 

“Oh, and I would warn your subordinates to lower their weapons if they don’t want to watch as I squeeze your life out of you in front of them. Or I could just slice through your flesh. Although it would be a tad too painless for you, I can do it with my last thought. It’s their choice.” Mustang took a breath as the shadows tightened, drawing blood on his neck. Mandy hadn’t even noticed a shadow there.

 

She’d never felt so torn before. This was her friend—the kid she’d immediately liked, despite his somewhat condescending attitude and pompous air. He’d been a good person; a good friend. She couldn’t believe that was all an act, but she also could not see a trace of that person in the being standing before them.

 

It was that thought that seemed to allow her to snap out of her daze. She hated this and didn’t want it to be happening, but it was. She couldn’t just sit there and let what was left of her friend do this! Finally deciding on a course of action, she reached as nonchalantly as she could for one of her circled papers, but Selim’s voice stopped her.

 

“You too, Mandy,” he said. “Stand up and keep your hands in the air or we’re going to have a blood bath on our hands.” Slowly, Mandy followed his orders, standing while holding her hands in the air (no easy feat). Something about Selim’s voice when he’d addressed her had caught her attention and caused the dying spark of hope inside of her to flare. Had it just been her imagination, or had the edge left his words? And he hadn’t called her ‘human’, nor had he called her by her last name as he had with Mustang. Why?

 

“I guess it is a shame, General,” Selim said mockingly, taking deliberate steps forward as he spoke. “A shame that there isn’t a way out for you, this time. Don’t worry, though,” the smile on his face sent shivers up and down Mandy’s spine, “I’ll make sure all of your knowledge doesn’t go to waste.

 

“You know, when I absorb someone’s memories, it’s like stealing them right out of the human’s stupid head. They don’t remember it at all after that, even if they happen to live.”

 

“If you do anything to me, they’ll kill you, Pride,” Mustang ground out. Mandy shivered at the tone in his voice. She’d never seen anyone look so angry before. His eyes seemed to burn with an inner fire that made her suddenly very glad he wasn’t directing it towards her. “And from what I hear, you don’t have enough power to immobilize them all.”

 

Selim’s—no, Pride’s—cruel smile widened. “Perhaps not,” he conceded. Then, a shield of shadows sprung up between them and the soldiers, separating Mandy, Selim and Mustang from the others. “But I can do this,” he said.

 

Several shouts from the other side of the shield followed by a series of useless, loud shots had Mandy cringing. She’d never been fond of fire arms and hadn’t really gotten used to them yet. She’d only been in the military for a few months for crying out loud! It abruptly hit her as to just what she’d gotten herself into.

 

“You could have done that earlier,” the General growled at Pride. “You were just gloating.”

 

The homunculus laughed again. “Father always taught me to play with my food.”

 

The ice in Mandy’s stomach began to spread through her veins. She’d had some training, but this had been her first field assignment—it was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance mission and they’d needed a spy badly enough to send a green horn like her into enemy territory. She’d originally been excited as that spoke volumes of what they thought of her capabilities. Now she wished they’d taken a chance on someone else; someone with more experience. She had thought she’d been ready for situations like this, where she had to think on her feet and make possible life and death decisions for her friends and colleagues. It made her sick to realize just how wrong she’d been.

 

“And you say we’re inferior beings?” It was Mustang’s turn to scoff.

 

Pride’s smile dimmed somewhat.

 

“Sir!” a shout from Lt. Hawkeye reached them.

 

“Tell them to stand down,” Pride said, voice once again cold.

 

Mustang actually chuckled. “You need a human to give such an order? How the mighty have fallen. You’re not even a shadow of the being you used to be. Pathetic.”

 

“Something I will remedy shortly,” Pride said, his voice dangerously quiet. Mandy noticed his hands had clenched into fists, shaking at his side.

 

“Selim…” she started slowly.

 

“Shut up,” he growled at her, never taking his eyes off of Mustang. “And I’m still watching you. Don’t move, or he dies.”

 

“Reduced to useless threats?” Mustang asked. “Please.”

 

Mandy couldn’t figure out why the General was antagonizing him. Angry people tended to make stupid mistakes, and she couldn’t see an angry homunculus as being much different there, but it still seemed like a bad idea to her.

 

Then she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Lt. Hawkeye had opened a window and was leaning out dangerously as she positioned herself behind Selim and raised her gun to fire at him.

 

A distraction, Mandy realized as she glanced at the stoic General, impressed at their teamwork, even when they couldn’t really communicate with each other.

 

“I was going to let you live a little longer,” Pride glowered. “But it seems you are too dangerous to allow that, even for revenge.”

 

Mustang rolled his eyes. “Why would you want revenge against me? I didn’t reduce you to a sniveling shadow.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Selim said calmly, although his smile had not returned. Beside him, a large shadow rose and formed itself into a sharp spike. “I’ll take care of Fullmetal soon enough. One other thing I want you to know, General, is that once I eat you, all of your men will follow.”

 

He’d barely finished speaking when everything hit the fan. Lt. Hawkeye shot at Selim as the train went over a particularly nasty bump in the railing and the shadow spike lurched towards Mustang all in the same moment. Due to the bump, the shot hit Selim’s shoulder instead of his head and he cried out, clutching the wound, matching Mandy’s own yell of denial as she felt her body move forward, situating herself between the shadow’s point and Mustang.

 

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. It really had been an incredibly stupid move on her part. She didn’t think jumping in front of that spike would do much except kill her too (probably wouldn’t even save Mustang), but her body had moved on instinct. All she knew was that someone was going to die, and she’d had enough of standing aside while everything happened in front of her.

 

Then Mandy saw the spike accelerating towards her and realized that she was going to die. She half expected her life to flash before her eyes, but all she could focus on was Selim’s brown irises as they glanced up painfully and found her own.

 

Brown…?

 

Then she squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for impact as more shots from Lt. Hawkeye’s gun rang through her ears, drowning out the train’s clacking.

 

She waited, expecting a sharp pain that she imagined would come with having a spike shoved through one’s chest. Not moments later, something wrapped itself tightly around her shoulders, pinning her arms to her side.

 

Then the world sped up again.

 

Gasping, she opened her eyes, surprised and extremely relieved, she found that Selim’s shadow hadn’t skewered her…and coincidently not the General either. The homunculus had fallen to his knees, grasping his shoulder as he breathed heavily. His shield had extended to block him from sight of Lt. Hawkeye and his make-shift spike had turned into a thin, dark rope.

 

“W-what? Selim?” she asked hesitantly, unable to resist breaking the heavy quiet that had fallen over the scene.

 

“General!” Lt. Hawkeye called from the other side. She must have come back into the car.

 

“Lieutenant,” Mustang returned, sounding both confused and relieved, not that Mandy could blame him. That was about how she felt as well.

 

“Selim,” Mandy started again as he lurched to his feet.

 

“What are you playing at, homunculus?” Mustang said, but his words seemed far more reserved than they had been. Mandy still cringed, but to her utter surprise, Selim ignored them completely, stumbling past them and the ruined remains of the benches. Then he began to make his way towards the door at the opposite end of the car.

 

“Running away?” the General called.

 

Selim paused, but didn’t turn to look back at them. “It’s taking everything I have to not hurt you, right now,” he said in a pained voice. “I want to, desperately…I think. I didn’t even know why…it’s all so confusing. All the memories. I’m not sure…I need to think. Please don’t goad me into killing you. I want to…but I don’t. I’m not sure I can control it…so…shut up, you filthy human.”

 

He began to stumble towards the door at the end, still breathing hard and clutching his shoulder. She was surprised he could walk with a wound like that.

 

Mandy wanted to call out again, but something stopped her. She wasn’t even sure what.

 

He opened the door.

 

“Sir!” she heard Hawkeye say again.

 

“Be ready, Lieutenant,” Mustang said.

 

No sooner had he closed the door behind him, than all of the shadows vanished, shrinking back to harmless pools of blocked light scattered around the room.

 

“After him!” the General ordered as Mandy stumbled to the side, leaning heavily on one of the burned seats. The soldiers stumbled past, but before they’d even reached the door, a jerk ran through the train and the General swore.

 

“He’s uncoupled the cars, sir,” she heard Lt. Hawkeye say.

 

“I know, Lieutenant,” he growled. “Probably cut right through the coupling. Get to the front of the train, stop the engine. We’re going after him.”

 

A hand appeared on her shoulder, causing her to jump and look up at the harsh face of the General.

 

“Can you still fight?” he asked.

 

A million thoughts ran through her mind. ‘Of course not!’ being the first In 10 minutes she’d had all the harshness of the reality she’d thought she’d been able to grasp (and how wrong had she been about that) thrown into her face. She’d realized just how weak and inexperienced she was and had seen a friend try to kill (and eat?!) people in cold blood. She’d almost died and almost seen both said friend and her idol killed.

 

But she couldn’t say any of that. Not only did it make her sound even weaker than she’d felt before, but she’d be left behind again. Not to mention she’d lose face in front of Major General Mustang.

 

Feeling her features harden she took a deep breath and nodded.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

To her surprise, he smiled. “Good. Follow me.”

 

She somehow found her feet again and went after him as he made his way quickly over the few, small debris littering the car floor and through the door on the other side. Mandy trailed in silence as they entered the next car. It looked exactly like the car they’d just left used to be before an alchemist and homunculus had decided to have a showdown.

 

“That was your first hostile situation, wasn’t it,” the General said when they’d reached the other car. It wasn’t a question. Mandy cringed. Was it that obvious? She’d had a gun pointed at her before, but she’d never really felt like she’d been in such danger. She had always felt so confident that she could take on just about anyone else. Why couldn’t she this time?

 

Of course the one pointing the proverbial gun this time had been a friend. Apparently that made all the difference in the world. She wasn’t sure whether that was a good or bad thing.

 

“Y-yes sir,” she said, finally acknowledging his remark.

 

“You could have stopped him at the end. You have transmutation circles that you use as a varying arsenal, useful in both espionage and battle. Why didn’t you use them?”

 

Mandy felt an embarrassed blush rise to her cheeks. “I…didn’t think of it, sir.”

 

“Hesitation like that can kill you and the people depending on you in battle,” Mustang said sharply.

 

Mandy flinched. “Yes, sir,” she muttered.

 

“But, I believe you also just saved my life back there.” Mandy felt her eyes widen in surprise. They reached the door leading to the coal car, and he paused. “And you pulled yourself together quickly. Well done, major.”

 

With everything that had happened, his compliment felt more like a consolation prize than anything else, but it still made her smile in spite of the situation.

 

“Thank you, sir.”

 

xXx

 

Author's note, for those of you who know the series: I've had several people comment about Mandy being a state alchemist at her age, and felt I should address the issue as it probably won't be mentioned more than in passing in the story. Fuehrer Armstrong (Olivier) lowered the bar a great deal when she came into office. The reason it was so high before was because the homunculi were weeding out the best of the best for sacrifices. Instead of only letting in three or four of the best of the applicants in twice a year, they'll often take a dozen or more. Obviously they still have to pass a test and they have to show off what skill they have, but it isn't abnormal for the military to take younger people now mainly because they are more trainable-they still have to be skilled, but their age is now taken into consideration (a lot of that is the fault of the Elrics, because they really were just that good).

 

One thing that Olivier did get rid of is the name thing: no new alchemists have titles or names given to them by the Fuehrer (mainly because she doesn't want to have to deal with something stupid and petty like that).

 

A common age for people to enter the military is just after high-school graduation (or secondary school, as the case may be), or just after they become an adult (age of 18), so having Mandy become a State Alchemist at a young age isn't quite so unheard of anymore. Actually, she has several alchemists who entered about the same time as she did who were in a similar age bracket.

 

Someone also asked why she would have been chosen at such a young age to infiltrate an enemy base. Here are the reasons:

1. She doesn't look or act like a spy at all.

2. It was a very simple reconnaissance mission, more or less a 'get in, get out, give us the information we need'. She wasn't going to go in deep, they just wanted to see what was going on with the alchemists being hired. Once they had more word on the screening process, they would have sent in a more experienced alchemist (or two) to infiltrate deep. It was more or less a 'test the waters' kind of mission.

Note: She failed. ^^; Mainly because she became side tracked, and she had a pretty good reason, but her direct superior officer isn't happy with her right now. Unfortunately, we never get to meet him.

3. She worked hard to get where she is. She honestly saw getting into the military as her only way out, so she had the motivation to learn what she needed to learn. She's no Elric, but she is talented (about as talented as any normal state alchemist). So she's skilled enough that if something came up, she should be able to defend herself.

 

Also, In the anime, it has been brought to my attention that Selim's eyes are purple/blue. For purposes of this fic, it's because he was always Pride. Hoenheim had gold eyes, so did the Homunculus in the Flask (Dwarf in the Flask/'Father'), those are closer to brown so I can see Selim's original eye color more as brown than blue. The blue-eye could have easily been a disguise of some sort (after all, he had to have a background, and perhaps his 'parents' had blue eyes), but either way that was his eye color when he was Pride, so that's what it changes to when he's in...well Pride mode. ^^;

 

I hope that answers all of your questions.

[Obi-quiet]

Darn it, my signature was supposed to change. Ah well.

 

Anyway, haven't heard from people for a while. Been busy and haven't been able to read things on here like I wanted to (hmm, doesn't that sound familiar *smacks forehead* ). *Sigh* Life seems to like to do that to me.

 

As such, I'm catching up with this fic, and I may have to take a hiatus to finish it and post it. I hope not. I like posting every week.

 

Anyway, I would like feedback. I'd also like a million dollars and that's not happening. *shrug* Ah well.

 

FYI, I'm still aiming for about 20 chapters on this.

 

xXx

 

Chapter 14

 

Selim’s eyes barely took in the sight of the rock and grass that rushed by. The train was still going awfully fast in his exhausted opinion. The confusion didn’t help. His head still felt like a hurricane of memories all fighting for dominance. He couldn’t seem to sort through them…and wasn’t sure he wanted to.

 

He didn’t want to think about what had just happened, and it all seemed to settle behind a numb shield, locked away for him to examine later.

 

At least the voice had disappeared, although he wasn’t sure that was a good thing. Did that mean he’d become that voice? Did he hate or like that idea?

 

It hurt too much to think about, so he shook the thought from his head. He was in no condition to fight or defend himself; he’d used the shadows far too much. What a marvelous idea that had been. But then again, he’d figured he’d just use the energy from the souls he’d planned on devouring to return his strength.

 

He paused. Why hadn’t he done that again? He could have, couldn’t he? Somehow the very idea felt wrong…and right.

 

Again, he pushed the thought from his mind and tried to focus on jumping from the train. He was not going to stay here and just become a sitting duck for them to find. It wouldn’t take them long to come back for him. As pathetic as humans were, it didn’t mean they were that incompetent.

 

Besides, his pride wouldn’t allow him to just sit around and wait for death.

 

He almost scoffed at that thought. His pride, huh? What a joke. A pathetic pun that didn’t even deserve to be laughed at.

 

The train still wasn’t slowing as quickly as he would have liked. He scowled. It probably hadn’t been that long since he’d used one of his shadows to slice through the coupling between this car and the one the alchemists and soldiers had been in. It felt like an eternity though.

 

He scowled at the ground again. Perhaps it would be easier to jump from the back of the car? He doubted there had been any more railroad workers on the train than were completely necessary. Greed’s former vessel may have been many things, but he, at least, had not been stupid. And as much as he hated to admit it, neither was Mustang. At least comparatively. Nor had either one of them been one to tempt fate more than necessary.

 

A mirthless chuckle forced its way past his lips.

 

Ling should have killed him when he had the chance. He’d gotten soft too. This is what a country without war did to people: made them even weaker than normal.

 

Forcing his eyes open (when had they fallen shut?), he tried yet again to focus on the ground in front of him. He was standing on a small ledge that was a corner of the back of a car, clinging to a hand hold on the side as he tried to prepare himself to jump.

 

His mind refused to focus though. If this is what humans were like, no wonder they were so weak. Useless bodies, pathetic endurance—they had to sleep every night after all! And now he was just like them. Simply fabulous.

 

The fact that any of them had survived at all was in and of itself a miracle. Either that or it attested to human determination.

 

Wait, had he just complimented the human race?

 

He was stalling, he realized. Jumping in normal conditions wasn’t exactly the best idea. Jumping in this condition was suicide. But he didn’t have time to wait until the train came to a stop.

 

Or did he?

 

Why was he in such a hurry again?

 

Oh, right. Mustang.

 

That disgusting piece of scum that—

 

Just then, something off to the side caught his attention. Two figures dropped from the back of the slowing train.

 

Selim’s eyes narrowed as he tried to make them out. Was that…? Yes…yes it was. It had to be…

 

Surprise in his condition wasn’t good either. The muscles in his hand loosened involuntarily, and he suddenly found himself slipping towards the train’s wheels. Somehow he found the presence of mind to push off with his legs, and he managed to avoid landing anywhere near the giant, steel circles. It didn’t mean he avoided injury.

 

Stars exploded before his vision as he landed painfully on his shoulder.

 

He was unconscious before he’d even realized he’d cried out.

 

xXx

 

The voice was gone. Of course it would be. The voice had been him after all…well, who he used to be. Who he now was again? That was what he’d planned, after all. Wait until both personalities had been on enough of a similar wavelength to merge? The Colonel’s presence had been infinitely helpful, as had Mandy’s little secret betrayal. At that point, Selim had felt resentful enough to identify with Pride, unknowing as it had been.

 

Pride had 300 years worth of memories, give or take a decade. Selim had 15. It wasn’t difficult to believe that he would return to full strength. Actually, it bordered on laughable to even imagine the weak, human-like personality would stand a chance.

 

So why did he feel like this? Conflicted didn’t even begin to describe it. He should have gone back to the way he’d been under Father: Ruthless, heartless, determined and superior. Actually, that last one should have been a given. He was a homunculus! Superiority shouldn’t have been a question at all!

 

Yet here he was, trapped inside an empty vortex in his mind, unable to decide at all.

 

Humans were inferior.

 

But all life should be cherished.

 

He was powerful.

 

So were Alchemists, and some humans that worked hard enough and had enough inane talent for swordplay, martial arts and/or projectile weapons.

 

Humans were pathetic, weak and not worth his time.

 

What did that say about homunculi? Humans had bested him and apparently Father as well (not to mention most if not all of the other homunculi—he’d have to somehow find out what happened to them).

 

He could not dismiss one side or the other. Such indecision would cause hesitations and hesitations would cause weakness. Both sides of him could agree on that, but the realization didn’t help him to come to any sort of conclusion.

 

It felt as if his very soul would tear at the seams.

 

Of course, that didn’t matter much, as Mustang would undoubtedly find and kill him easily enough. That one wasn’t as weak as the others. Perhaps that’s why Pride…Selim…they hated him so much. He wouldn’t give them another chance. And they couldn’t seem to wake up.

 

Too much shadow usage. It had been a reckless move, but Pride had believed that he would replenish their philosopher’s stone so it hadn’t mattered. Then Selim had stopped them.

 

It had been stupid, but they didn’t regret it. Or did they? They didn’t know…and that knowledge only continued to bother them.

 

The worst part was that ‘they’ were really ‘he’. He couldn’t even agree with himself, but then again, how could he?

 

After all, humans were weak.

 

But they were also strong.

 

And nothing, it seemed, would change either opinion.

 

xXx

 

He wasn’t dead. That fact registered in his brain as he slowly made his way back to reality. It also surprised him. He could tell it had been a while since he’d fallen asleep (his stomach could attest to that), but had he been lucky enough to land in a place that could hide him from the military?

 

He was neither naïve nor hopeful enough to really believe that.

 

Not anymore.

 

He was lying on his back, and something had been draped over him. His shoulder stung and ached in a constant throb, but he could tell the wound had been tended to. Had he been captured after all then? It was dark (a ping of both fear and annoyance zinged through him, although he would not admit outright to either) after all. He was also moving. The steady clacking of a train that had become so familiar to him recently reached his ears and sent uncomfortable jolts through his body.

 

It would stand to reason that he’d been captured and thrown into a holding cell of some sort as they transferred him back to Central. Interesting and a tad disappointing. He’d thought better of the fifth sacrifice.

 

“He awake yet?” a soft voice managed to puncture his thoughts.

 

His brow furrowed. That voice had been so familiar…

 

“Can’t tell,” another, deeper voice answered.

 

“It’s been almost four days,” the first voice said.

 

“Then he’ll be mighty hungry when he wakes up.”

 

A pause, and then, “Who would have shot him like that?”

 

“We’ve been over this before, Bon.”

 

Selim’s eyes flew open. Bonnie and Marlin?

 

“What?” he croaked, trying to push himself up and failing miserably.

 

How utterly humiliating—showing such weakness in front of humans.

 

“Well I guess that answers that question,” Bonnie said dryly. In the darkness he could only see what looked like a box or two in front of his face. That was promising. If he could see something, it meant there had to be light somewhere. If necessary, he could use his power.

 

Unfortunately, his aching body was telling him that would be a very bad idea at this point.

 

“Hey, kid,” Marlin voiced from somewhere to his right. He focused on turning his head to look at the source of the voice, and succeeded marginally. Then he found himself watching what seemed to be a large hand advancing towards him.

 

“Don’t touch me!” he said, flinching back and hissing at the movement.

 

Fortunately, the hand backed off. Relaxing slightly, Selim managed to force his way past the pain and saw two dark figures above him. He could barely make out Bonnie’s light hair in the darkness, let alone any features, but he knew it was them.

 

“Alright, kid,” Marlin said placatingly. “We understand, but we need to know how you feel.”

 

His first response was something along the lines of: “Why should I tell something as useless as you?” His second response started in on the conflict all over again. “I feel horrible. Is there anything you have for the pain?”

 

So he settled for something somewhere in between. “I got shot and fell off of a train. How am I supposed to feel?”

 

“Alright, alright,” Marlin said, a little put out. “So you hurt. You up for something to eat?”

 

“Yes!” Oh that response had been pure Gluttony, and far too large of a blow to his pride. “I mean, yes,” he amended calmly.

 

Marlin chuckled, and he could see Bonnie’s figure visibly relax. “You got it, kid. We don’t have much, but here’s some bread.”

 

“Thank you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. Ugh, he’d actually said that to such lowly beings. Then he felt bread against his lips and almost completely forgot. Almost.

 

Stupid Gluttony. He’d never regretted absorbing his ‘brother’ so much. Still, he would not be reduced to being fed by those hands, and forced himself to move. His arms responded sluggishly, but succeeded in grabbing the bread. He didn’t even have the strength to sit up to eat after that, but managed to get the whole chunk down without choking.

 

The bread did little to truly sate his appetite as usual, but the food in his stomach felt much better none.

 

“There you go,” Marlin said after Selim had finished inhaling the food.

 

“What happened?” the homunculus managed to ask.

 

“We were hoping you could answer that,” Bonnie said shortly.

 

Selim paused, unsure of what to say. He couldn’t tell them the truth without endangering himself, but a large part of him did not want to lie to them. It was ridiculous. A lie could easily fix this—but it could also put them in a great deal of danger, and that started the inner conflict all over again.

 

Finally he decided to appease the kinder side for the moment, just so he could actually do something.

 

“It’s a little fuzzy,” well, that was the truth. Two personalities merging to an extent and regaining a few centuries worth of memories could do that to a person. “Something to do with the military…lots of shooting and yelling…and danger. Something very dangerous…”

 

They didn’t have to know that the most dangerous person on that train had been him. If they ticked him off at all, they’d find out anyway, he promised himself. The compromise appeased the harsher side of him somewhat.

 

“How did you find me?” He asked, changing the subject.

 

“We never got off like we said. Hid in the back and all,” Marlin responded.

 

“Weren’t you going to try and get into Xing?”

 

“We were told in no uncertain terms that if they caught us without papers again that we would regret it. We found it a tad deterring.”

 

Cowards, Selim thought then shook the thought from his head, focusing on the other’s words.

 

“Anyway, so we were thinking of heading down to Rush Valley or something in that area,” the large man continued. “And then the train started to slow down. Someone had uncoupled the cars, which is strange because doing so while a train is moving is practically impossible without slicing directly through the coupling.”

 

Selim didn’t say anything at all, staring up to the dark ceiling of the car they were in. A baggage car again, he realized. That was why it was so dark. And rather cool too. Ah the joys of winter weather.

 

After a few moments of quiet, Marlin continued. “Anyway, we figured something had happened, and had just hopped off the train when we saw you fall.”

 

“Got yourself pretty banged up,” Bonnie interjected. “One shoulder dislocated, the other shot clean through. You’re lucky you survived, kid.”

 

“I’m kind of hard to kill,” Selim muttered.

 

“Noticed,” Marlin said with a smile in his voice. “Good thing too. Anyway, we did some fast first aid and debated leaving you there for your girl to come back and find, but we also figured that whatever had shot you couldn’t have been good for you. So we decided to take you along with us. Figured that once you woke up you could call whoever you needed to and let them know you’re alright and let them come and get you.”

 

Selim couldn’t help his scoff. “You thought it had something to do with the FFO and Falk, didn’t you.”

 

“The thought had crossed our mind,” Bonnie answered with a tight voice. “But we also saw the Military before the train stopped, so that was at the top of our list.”

 

“We figured that there was a clash between the Military and the Xingese guards and you got caught up in it, actually,” Marlin supplied.

 

Selim sighed. “Yeah, something like that.”

 

They sat in silence for several seconds before Marlin spoke up again.

 

“You’re still tired,” the large man said. “You get some more sleep if you can. We’ll wake you up when we stop.”

 

“Where are we heading?”

 

“Don’t know,” Marlin said with a shrug. “South somewhere. We caught the first train we came across. Traveled for two and a half days with you on my back before we crossed some tracks. Took another hour or so to reach a town. We got you to a doctor there who said you were just tired and would need rest. He said you’d need to relieve yourself when you woke up, but you’ll just have to hold it to the next stop.”

 

“You would focus on that,” Bonny muttered.

 

Selim blinked, realizing that the man’s words were true…very true. Ugh. As Pride, he’d rarely had to worry about that. Most of what his body didn’t use would get converted to energy and stored in his philosopher’s stone. Any true waste products were usually small enough that he rarely had to expunge such products from his body. Having to do so every day was nothing short of disgusting.

 

Still, he was determined to hold it and not show an ounce of discomfort in front of these two.

 

“Anyway, it wasn’t too difficult to hop a train headed south. These towns are small enough that no one thinks anyone in them could do any wrong, so they don’t check.” Marlin said offhandedly.

 

“Why didn’t you leave me at the doctor’s?” Selim asked.

 

“We still felt like we owed you one,” Marlin muttered. “Besides, we’ve grown a bit attached to you.”

 

Bonnie snorted, but it sounded like she’d done so in good humor.

 

Selim didn’t say anything, but the irony was not lost on him.

 

They rode for almost an hour before the train began to slow down. Marlin helped Selim to the door and held him as they jumped down. The plan was to buy tickets in town and head legally the rest of the way to Rush Valley or whatever their destination happened to be. Now that they weren’t carrying an unconscious passenger, they would be far less memorable.

 

It wasn’t too difficult to get into the station and thankfully to a bathroom. It was late, though, and no one was at the ticket window. Bonnie and Marlin argued for a few minutes as to whether they should stay there and wait or just hop the train again.

 

Selim was just thinking that all small train stations looked the same when exhaustion overtook him again.

 

xXx

 

It took him far too long to really wake up the next morning. It seemed his body was still recovering, but the bullet wound was healing nicely according to Bonnie (who apparently had some skill in that area). It still hurt immensely. Sleeping on the station bench again hadn’t helped there either. No wonder humans avoided such trivial wounds. Selim was half tempted to just kill everyone right then and there, replenish his stone and have the wound healed in minutes. Then that stupid corner of his mind recoiled at the thought and outright refused to allow him to do so.

 

He grit his teeth as Bonnie wrapped the bandages tightly, half in annoyance at himself and half from the pain. They would put his left arm in a sling so the wound wouldn’t become more agitated than it already had been. Apparently, he was also to try and refrain from using his other arm for fear of popping it out of place again. It ached in its own right, so he didn’t argue

 

Thankfully Bonnie also carried some pain medication that helped a good deal. Perhaps humans weren’t so completely useless after all.

 

He’d just swallowed the large pills when Marlin came back to the waiting room, swearing loudly.

 

“What is it?” Bonnie asked.

 

“We should have hitched a ride on the train last night,” Marlin grumbled. “It’ll be three days before another train comes south.

 

“I could have told you that,” Selim muttered.

 

“You could have,” Bonnie said as she tore the bandage and tied it off, “if you hadn’t been the one to fall asleep last night. You were the reason we stayed, you know.”

 

“A simple solution would have been to just carry me aboard,” Selim pointed out with a frown. The last thing he wanted was to have these pathetic beings blame him for everything.

 

Marlin cut in. “You needed the sleep. And frankly, so did we,” he shot Bonnie a pointed look. The Ishbalan raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t say anything. “What’s worse, though,” Marlin continued, “is that there doesn’t even seem to be an inn in this place. It’s a farming town that doesn’t have much use for outsiders.”

 

“Fabulous. So what do we do?” Bonnie asked.

 

The older man sighed. “We find a nice farmer to put us up and help them out in payment for a few days. It’s either that, we stay here at the station, or we start walking, but the next town is a good day’s journey in either direction.”

 

Selim rolled his eyes. Seriously, what had he been reduced to? Humiliating didn’t begin to describe it.

 

Marlin, however, wasn’t finished. “The good news is that we can put Selim on a train back up to East City when the train makes a return trip today. We just have to call your mother and let her know you’re coming home. We can even take the train to the next town ourselves and see if we could get a room there.”

 

Selim’s face went neutral. “I can’t do that,” he said softly. “Falk, remember?” And Mustang and the whole of Amestris’ army. Not that he could tell them that.

 

For the first time it struck him as to how bad the situation had become. He quite literally had no where to go. If he went back to central, the military would find him and undoubtedly kill him, especially if he went to see his mother. Where else could he go though? He had no friends or family that could (or would) help, and he couldn’t even really leave the country. Being an Amestrian in just about any country besides Xing would be asking for trouble. The tension between countries right now was palpable and only a breath away from more outright war.

 

War which he actually had no wish to be apart of this time around, strangely enough.

 

“Well at least call her and work something out,” Marlin insisted. “Let her know you’re alright.”

 

At first he opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. Then he closed his mouth thoughtfully. He wanted to call her. Actually, he was surprised at how much of him wanted to. It wasn’t the smart thing to do; calling his mother could easily paint a target over his head that blared brighter than electric lights. Then again, he already had a target on his back anyway. Well, they’d know he was alive, and in Amestris (and that was if they were tapping his mother’s phones because he doubted she’d say anything to the government about him…at least he hoped she wouldn’t), but they wouldn’t know exactly where he was. Besides, Selim desperately wanted to hear her voice and confirm for himself that she was alright. The Pride part of him felt that contacting her would be appropriate, if only because not calling her would make Bonnie and Marlin suspicious.

 

He most definitely didn’t care about her. He didn’t.

 

Sighing, he reached delicately for his shirt and began the painstakingly slow process of putting it on again. “Very well. Where is a phone?”

 

“Surprisingly it seems that there are several around here,” the gray haired man said. “But all of them are privately owned. We’ll have to ask to use one.”

 

“How utterly depreciating,” Selim muttered as he stood. Bonnie reached out to help him with his clothing, and he flinched away.

 

“Don’t,” he warned. Then, seeing the look on her face he forced himself to smile. “I would like to do it on my own.”

 

Bonnie shrugged. “I can respect that. I’m going to throw these bandages away and wash my hands. I’ll be back soon.”

 

By the time she returned, he’d managed to get his shirt and coat on. Thankfully Mandy had asked that they keep an eye out for their bags and coats, and all four items had been returned before they’d left Xing. He hadn’t bothered to tuck in his shirt as it hurt quite a bit to bend either of his arms to do so.

 

“Well,” he said stiffly as Bonnie returned to the group and grabbed her supplies. “Shall we?”

 

Marlin and Bonnie exchanged glances. “Hey kid, we were wondering if you’re alright? You sound…different than before.”

 

“I am perfectly sound,” Selim lied. They didn’t have to know of his inner conflict. What could such incapable beings do? “I am assuming you got a list of places where we could locate a telephone?”

 

Marlin stared at him long and hard for several seconds before shrugging and standing up. “Sure do. Follow me.”

 

Selim didn’t like the idea of following anyone, but also didn’t want to make a scene. It would make tracking him all that much easier.

 

They walked out of the station and onto what had to be the only paved road in whatever backwater town they’d landed in. In the distance he could see a cluster of houses that all seemed to be fairly new. As they approached, he could see a miniature market had been set up for the locals to come and sell their wares. It probably only happened once or twice a week, given the size of the town.

 

“The first place is just at the end of the street here, I think,” Marlin muttered as they passed through the marginally busy market. Most people were holding quiet conversations as they bartered and traded their imperfect wares, and while everyone cast curious glances their way, no one seemed particularly interested. Good.

 

“It’s market day,” Bonnie muttered. “We’ll be lucky to catch anyone at home before afternoon.”

 

“Late afternoon,” Marlin agreed.

 

“We could simply ask these…people,” Selim pointed out, quickly changing the derogatory term he’d been about to use.

 

Marlin must have caught the disgust in his voice. “Don’t be too hard on them. They’re simple people living in a simple town. You won’t find any of your Central upper class here.”

 

It took a moment for Selim to realize that Marlin thought he was referring to the people of the town instead of the human race in general. So much the better. He hated having to rely on these two, but he also knew that they were the best chance he had at living through the weekend.

 

Once his arm healed, he could head off on his own and not worry about or rely on anyone else. Of course that brought up the whole idea of ‘where’ he could go a second time. He didn’t like the thought of hiding in the woods like some sort of hermit at all. Just the suggestion of running way until he healed grated on his nerves, so he simply could not fathom doing so permanently. The problem was he also knew that even twenty years ago, when he’d been at full strength, taking on the entire military would be suicide, especially with people like Mustang at its head. He may have been many things, but stupid was not one of them.

 

Well, at least now that he’d gotten his memories back.

 

In front of him, Marlin stopped before the door to one of the few houses they’d come across and knocked loudly. After several minutes of waiting, they concluded that no one was home and moved onto the next one. Bonnie suggested they find the local businesses as they’d have to have phones. Marlin replied that he had started with the businesses. The place he’d just been was supposed to be something of a smithy. Glancing back over his shoulder, Selim could indeed see a small hovel in back of the house that looked as if it could be used as a very basic blacksmith. No smoke came out of the chimney.

 

It struck Selim just how small (but probably spread out) this little community was. A lot of it looked new but that didn’t say much. It probably had a name that no one had ever heard of and wasn’t even on a map. It was the kind of settlement where everyone had a little niche, and every family had their own trade. Newcomers had to make their own place and visitors tended to be extremely rare.

 

Selim sighed when he realized just how long this day was going to be.

 

Once again he considered killing and devouring Bonnie and Marlin to replenish his stone. It wasn’t like anyone would know they’d gone missing. Of course, he’d have to make sure no one was watching if he did. He had to stay hidden until he had enough power to take on Mustang and the other State Alchemists. That would take more than a couple of lives.

 

No, he had to bide his time. He could be patient, and even endure this small but constant pain. He would wait and see what would happen and that was all there was to it.

 

He completely ignored the fact that he really didn’t want to kill them either and refused to admit even to himself that he was making excuses.

 

xXx

 

“Brother!” Edward Elric nearly fell off of his chair at his younger brother’s exclamation. He dropped the book he’d been reading and it slammed shut, probably bending a good deal of the pages and losing his place.

 

Cursing under his breath (a habit he’d picked up since getting married—no one swore aloud around Winry and got away unscathed), he stood quickly, shoving his office chair back and turned to glare at the door. He could hear Al’s steps as he practically ran through the house. Honestly, what kind of deal did he find this time? Admittedly he was better than just about anyone Ed knew at bartering, but his exuberance over such finds could get bothersome. Ed frowned. Al tended to be excitable, but still, he hadn’t been this worked up since before he’d gotten married.

 

The door burst open to reveal a panting man in his mid twenties with short, blond hair and round eyes that looked entirely too innocent on a person his age.

 

Immediately Ed knew something was wrong.

 

“What is it?” he asked. Then his own eyes widened. “Don’t tell me…”

 

Al nodded. “I just saw him with two other people leaving the market. He didn’t see me. At least I don’t think he did.”

 

The older blond swore aloud this time, grateful in the back of his mind that his wife wasn’t there to hear his colorful vocabulary. Actually, he was glad she wasn’t in Risembool at all. As soon as they’d received the call from Mustang about Pride evading them and possibly coming for revenge, they’d sent Mai, Winry and the kids to Rush Valley.

 

Ed, on the other hand, refused to leave Risembool to Pride. He was determined to do something if the homunculus was indeed coming after them. If they weren’t there when Pride got there, Ed doubted they’d have a home to come back to…again. He didn’t want Winry to lose her late grandmother’s house.

 

When Al had heard his reasoning, he’d insisted on staying too. He hadn’t needed to point out that Ed wouldn’t be able to fight Pride as effectively without his alchemy, and the older blond had been far more than grateful. He had never regretted his choice to give that up, but that didn’t stop him from longing for his old ability.

 

“Wait, you just left him there in the market?” Ed asked sharply. “What about the town? Did he look like he was coming in this direction?”

 

“Not really, actually. There were two other people there and they were going from house to house. They might have been guards of some sort.”

 

“Where would he get money to hire guards?” Ed asked incredulously. “And why would he lower himself to do so. That makes no sense. Maybe he’s with them because he can’t use those shadows of his?”

 

Al shook his head. “I don’t know. All I could tell is that one of his arms is bandaged and in a sling and it looks like he didn’t want to move the other either.”

 

Ed frowned. “He’s not healing? He’s had days since the incompetent general lost him. He’s had plenty of time to gather more energy.”

 

Al shrugged. “I don’t know, and I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, but either way he must be down to his last life again. It will make him desperate.”

 

“And all the more dangerous,” Ed nodded, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Absently he realized he hadn’t shaved that morning, but brushed the thought to the side hurriedly.

 

“I wish we had more backup. Where are the men General Mustang sent?” Al wondered hurriedly. “Weren’t they supposed to be here yesterday?”

 

Ed’s eyes hardened immediately. “No clue. Don’t care.”

 

Al sighed. “Edward—“ he started, but Ed cut him of.

 

“If I had my way, we wouldn’t be having anything to do with that…” he paused, glancing around as if expecting to get caught. Then he took a breath when he confirmed that he and Al were alone in the room. “Besides,” he muttered, continuing the train of thought—best not to get back into the habit, after all, “if we don’t at least make an attempt to catch him, I’ll never hear the end of it.” He could feel a vein throbbing on his forehead.

 

“But Ed, you’re not even in the military anymore. You won’t have to listen to—“

 

“He’ll find a way,” Ed grumbled. “That son of a…” he stopped out of habit again, then decided that Mustang just wasn’t worth finishing the sentence. Normally Al would push in a teasing comment about how Winry had him trained well, but the younger brother seemed to be far too distracted, so Edward continued. “He’ll find a way to discredit me or publicly humiliate me if I don’t do anything.” Reaching into his closet, he brought out a large shotgun. It wasn’t much, but it could do a lot of damage and it was better than nothing.

 

“Brother,” Al tried again tiredly.

 

“Fine, you wait here, but I’m not going to let anyone get hurt just because we’re not there,” Edward said as he pushed past his brother determinedly.

 

Al simply sighed and fell into step behind him, saying something that sounded suspiciously like ‘I thought you’d outgrown this.’ Ed didn’t answer, though. He’d been waiting for this day for fifteen years. Somehow, he’d known it would come. He’d known it when he’d handed the small form of what was left of Selim Bradley to his adoptive mother. He’d known and done it anyway, and as far as he was concerned, no one else was going to pay for that decision.

 

One hand trailed down to his metal leg, brushing the hard surface through the material of his pants. After all, Ed was in the habit of paying for his own mistakes.

[Obi-quiet]

Marlin, Bonnie and Selim had just stepped onto the dirt road just out side of the white, picket fence around the fourth house they’d visited (again, no one was home, just as the two bounty hunters had predicted) when a sudden crackling light surrounded them..

 

“What the—“ Marlin started but cut off when Bonnie grabbed his arm worriedly, drawing her gun. Then, before their eyes, the Earth around them began to rise into a dome, still buzzing with the bluish energy. Selim recognized it immediately: Alchemy

 

In as many seconds, two memories came to Selim’s mind: one where Mandy had used a similar technique to separate him from Marlin after he’d been kidnapped. The second one had happened fifteen years before when Alphonse Elric had tried to neutralize Pride’s powers by trapping him in the dark.

 

A deep anger rushed through Selim and he immediately called for his shadows to slice through the walls. Thankfully the dome had been large, taking longer to make, even with the obvious skill of the alchemist. Funny, if they’d used a smaller trap, he probably wouldn’t have reacted quickly enough before they’d sealed him. Their mistake. They’d been counting on his inability to use his shadows at a long distance.

 

To his satisfaction and relief (he hadn’t been a hundred percent sure his weakened shadows would reach the transmuted material, although he would never admit it aloud), the walls around them crashed to the ground in great, stone blocks.

 

Beside him, Marlin and Bonnie blinked, trying to figure out what had just happened. They watched bewildered as he stepped in front of them and towards the two figures he could see just outside what was left of the dome. One of them had a large gun held loosely in both hands while the other squatted low, his hands on the ground.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me this was Risembool?” Selim asked the two people behind him, although he didn’t turn to look at them. It took Marlin a moment to realize he’d been addressed.

 

“I didn’t think it was important,” the large man answered finally. Slow, pathetic creatures. Why hadn’t he killed them again? “Why would it be? What’s going on?”

 

Selim ignored him, taking another step forward. “Edward and Alphonse Elric,” he practically spat.

 

“Wait,” Bonnie spoke up, “The Elric Brothers?”

 

“None other,” Selim replied, trying to force his teeth to unclench—not that he didn’t have good reason to be angry at the people standing so warily before them. They had ruined his life after all. Part of him felt hatred deeper than he had for even Mustang, especially towards the older of the two. The other part of him, that stupid human part that refused to be overthrown, felt a great deal of relief at seeing them. They could help answer questions like why he could have lived the way he did without knowing and why he was aging when he shouldn’t. He had never originally been human after all.

 

Of course it would only be when the questions he’d originally set out to ask were answered that he’d actually meet them; when part of him wanted to desperately take revenge and reassert his superiority. His life had been one huge ironic twist lately.

 

He couldn’t decide what to do. Should he ask his questions, or simply attack them and try to end their miserable existence once and for all? Of course, that would be difficult, seeing his body was in such poor condition. He’d had problems with them at full strength after all.

 

Perhaps that was what bothered him the most. Just seeing them reminded him that these abhorrent, worthless creatures had beaten him. More importantly, they’d beaten Father (obviously or the country wouldn’t have existed for the past fifteen years), and that hurt. Actually, that hurt far more than his realization that they’d defeated him and the rest of the homunculi. Then, to add insult to injury, they’d taken pity on him. Him! He didn’t need their sympathy!

 

Oh yes, he could easily say that he despised the Elric brothers. Yet he could still recognize newer feelings that countered that hate; respect, nervousness, and even gratitude of all things. Part of him felt thankful for the actions of these repugnant vermin.

 

He wanted to sigh. The battle in his head had begun to get very old.

 

Trying to push such feelings to the back of his mind, he continued to watch them, and they returned his scrutiny. It took him a moment to realize that they had yet to make another move because they were waiting for him. Waiting for him to what? To try and attack them? He had considered it (it wasn’t like he could keep his identity hidden anymore) but he still didn’t want to use his shadows extensively while his body continued to heal.

 

Finally Alphonse (he assumed it was Alphonse, despite the fact that he’d never before seen the boy’s human body) stood up, eyeing Selim curiously. “You didn’t know you were in Risembool?” he asked as if finally realizing he’d missed something earlier.

 

“No,” Selim replied.

 

“And if you had known?” Edward asked. Selim grit his teeth. He didn’t want this person who looked so much like Father to speak to him at all. Also, he didn’t know what to say. Pride would have wanted to tear over to their residences and rip their worlds down around them. Selim would have wanted to ask to meet with them. Surprisingly, still a third part of him would have wanted to avoid the confrontation altogether.

 

Instead of answering, he looked back at Alphonse. “I see you got your body back.”

 

The man’s own jaw clenched, as did Edward’s. Not surprisingly it was the older brother who answered. “We see you got your memories back.”

 

“Despite your precautions,” Selim growled. He heard Bonnie gasp behind him, but paid them no heed. He knew he’d spoken in Pride’s multiple voice, but he didn’t care. The Elrics also tensed at his words, and he took some satisfaction from that.

 

Then he realized that he had a question both sides of him wanted to ask…badly. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed to take a deep breath and calm down. Scaring them more wouldn’t encourage them to answer him. Then he glanced up, trying not to glare too hard at Edward. Judging from the shift in the long-haired man’s stance, he didn’t succeed too well, but he had to know.

 

“Why?”

 

The two brothers exchanged glances for the briefest of seconds. It would have been enough to attack them, and they knew it, but Selim didn’t call the shadows to move. He wanted to know too much.

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why did you let me live? I was at your mercy. You could have killed me—should have killed me! Mustang killed Lust and I’m assuming Envy from what he said on the train.” There was a flinch from Edward that shouldn’t have been there. Selim took note but decided to address it later and continued. “I absorbed Gluttony, and that leaves three of my brothers and Father. I have no doubt both of you had your hand in taking out a good deal of them.” A new question poked into his mind and his lips thinned at the thought. “Are they all dead?”

 

It wasn’t as if he really expected them to tell him if any of the other homunculi still lived. The look on their faces, however, didn’t leave any doubt in his mind that they were telling the truth when they spoke.

 

“Scar killed Wrath,” Alphonse said softly. “Scar’s lucky he survived the encounter.” Selim couldn’t agree more. Of all the other Homunculi, Wrath would have been the biggest threat. He didn’t say anything though, mainly because it infuriated him that the Ishbalan had lived when Wrath hadn’t.

 

“Fuehrer and General Armstrong beat Sloth,” the younger brother continued.

 

“And Greed?”

 

Another uncertain glance, then they looked back at him.

 

“I killed him when I killed your father,” Edward responded.

 

Another flare of anger and hatred surged through him, but he fought it down. He’d never cared for Greed or Envy or any of the others really…so why did it bother him now? He ignored the confusing emotions and forced his face into something more neutral as he glared at the blonds.

 

“That would be after you eliminated my threat,” he managed to growl, although he was proud of the fact that he had enough control to use his human voice. “Speaking of, you have yet to answer my question. Why didn’t you kill me?! I wouldn’t have hesitated in your position, so why?!”

 

“Your mother,” Edward said finally, his voice soft. “She would have lost both her son and her husband if I’d killed you. She’s a good woman and, I suspected, completely innocent. I couldn’t do that to her—take her child away from her like that.”

 

Selim straightened, blinking. The depth of human stupidity and their weakness for compassion never ceased to astound him. His anger soared to new heights. He was alive because of his relation to a human; because someone had taken pity on that. The realization grated on what little control he had left.

 

At the same time, the gratefulness he felt towards the duo also increased. They had spared his mother a good deal of pain and given her a reason to live after all that had happened. Even the part of him that was Pride had looked up to her. She’d been so different from all of his previous ‘parents’.

 

“You are so weak,” he muttered. “It’s repulsive. So why do I want to thank you? How have I to become so weak in less than two decades?!” He grit his teeth and turned his glare back to the older brother. “Is this something you did to me, Edward Elric?! Something you left me with the night you allowed just one soul to remain in my stone? The night you took my entire life away from me?” The last sentence held as much accusation has he could put into it. He felt he had to blame someone, even if he didn’t expect the accused to feel guilty.

 

Edward snorted and rolled his eyes. “No. I only left you with enough power to survive. I didn’t take or leave anything else.”

 

Truthfully, that was the last thing Selim wanted to hear. He wanted to yell out that Edward was lying—deceiving him, but he knew that wasn’t the case. After all, what would his purpose be? Demoralization maybe? No, Selim knew he had spoken truth again.

 

His weakness was his own.

 

And oh, it almost killed him to admit even to himself.

 

“And where did the rest of the souls you took from me go?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound desperate.

 

Behind him, Bonnie gasped again. He’d almost forgotten they were there. He’d have a lot of explaining to do when this was over.

 

Edward shrugged. “Beats me.”

 

Pride sincerely doubted that. Of course, yet again he hadn’t really expected an answer, but still. His eyes narrowed and he scrutinized the blond that so reminded him of his own father for several seconds, almost as if he were trying to gain the secret from his human mind.

 

It didn’t work. He couldn’t puzzle out where all of his energy had gone. Had Edward stored and kept the souls inside of him? He didn’t act like he had to tune out a large amount of voices, and certainly only looked like a normal human, but then, so had Hoenheim. Still, Selim couldn’t sense anything off about him.

 

Actually, he couldn’t really sense anything at all. Even through his anger he realized how strange that was. Every alchemist had a certain feel to them, something different than a normal human. Father had told him it was because of Pride’s innate ability to sense the gate of truth in people, and why he alone could force that gate open, even though homunculi couldn’t use alchemy themselves. He could still feel that in Alphonse’s presence, but he couldn’t with Edward. Had his sensing skills really become that weak?

 

After a few seconds, his eyes fell slightly, lingering on the shotgun in Edward’s hands. That also struck him as odd. Why would he bring such a weapon? It wasn’t his style. Selim doubted that would have changed in the fifteen years since the Promised Day. To humans, guns often equated killing. Edward had avoided using lethal force on many occasions and no matter what he’d gone through, that hadn’t ever changed or Selim himself would not have survived.

 

An echo of another mind brushed his thoughts. Yes, Edward had told Kimbley they wouldn’t use lethal force now that he thought about it. He had absorbed the man’s memories after all. Even if Edward had altered that aspect of his personality, he had to know that a shotgun would do little more than distract Selim as the bullets wouldn’t get past his shadows’ shields.

 

Then Selim’s gaze settled on the bare flesh of Edward’s right arm. It should have been automail. So Alphonse’s body hadn’t been the only thing returned. Briefly he wondered about Edward’s automail leg, but ultimately decided it didn’t matter.

 

What did matter was the fact that Alphonse had his body while Edward had his arm and a gun. The latter still didn’t make sense, though. Selim still couldn’t figure out why he would he use something like that unless…. His eyes widened as he put two and two together.

 

“You can’t use alchemy,” he said suddenly. The brothers’ posture had been loose and ready. At his words, they immediately tensed, and it was all the answer Pride needed. “That’s what you gave up to get his body back!” A grin made its way across his face. “Impressive. I honestly didn’t expect you to figure it out. Tell me, was it worth it?”

 

“Absolutely,” Edward snarled instantly. Beside him, Alphonse gained an expression of sad guilt and looked down.

 

Pride’s grin widened. “And you’re not jealous that your little brother got off scott free while you’re stuck with a…less than extraordinary life? You don’t even have the means to really protect yourself anymore!”

 

“News flash, Pride,” Edward growled. Selim noted that that was the first time he’d used the name. “I never wanted an extraordinary life. I only wanted my friends and family to be happy.”

 

“Really? Your rather…boisterous actions from your youth would speak otherwise. Did you even know the meaning of the word ‘subtle’?”

 

“We were children,” Alphonse broke in, shaky but determined. “We did the best we could. That was all.”

 

Oh, there were so many places he could take that! Everywhere from them using useless excuses to how pathetic their ‘best’ had been while the answer had been in front of them the whole time. It would have only taken just one more sacrifice on Edward’s part, but he hadn’t been able to, probably until it had become utterly necessary.

 

He saw exactly what he could do with that conversation. It would be so easy to verbally tear them down into shivering piles of flesh, but before he could even open his mouth, a shadow fluttered over his mind, stopping him. It was a nagging doubt that said it wouldn’t be the right thing to do; that he’d already taken it too far. He glowered inwardly at himself. Perhaps it wasn’t right from a human stand point, but he’d always been above that.

 

Or had he?

 

The frustration at his inner conflict grew again. He hated being frustrated.

 

“What’s the matter, Pride?” Edward asked. “Nothing to say?”

 

Selim rolled his eyes. “I didn’t feel your pathetic sob story was even worth a comment.”

 

“You’re the one that brought it up,” the long-haired man said with a frown.

 

“My apologies,” Selim replied sarcastically.

 

They sat there for several seconds staring at each other. Then Alphonse glanced uneasily over at Edward before stepping forward slightly.

 

“So, what now?”

 

Selim returned the older brother’s frown and didn’t answer. He still couldn’t decide and he doubted they’d just let him walk away.

 

“Well,” he said finally, “you could run home and call your precious general.” He took a vindictive pleasure when he saw Edward scowl. So he and Mustang still didn’t get along, he noted.

 

“And you would just let us? As if you don’t want to take your revenge?” Edward asked skeptically.

 

“Oh I do. It’s just that I would prefer to avoid a fight at the moment.” He glanced down at his bandaged hands and the sling. Not that such conditions would seriously handicap him. It actually had more to do with his stamina when it came to his shadows, but they didn’t need to know that.

 

“What, afraid to fight now that you can’t heal so quickly?” Edward scoffed.

 

“Forgive me for not taking your example and turning suicidal,” Selim returned dryly.

 

“You realize we can’t just let you go,” Alphonse said softly.

 

Inwardly, Selim sighed. Yes, he’d realized that. It didn’t help his indecision. “Marlin, Bonnie,” he said, still refusing to take his eyes off of the Elrics, “you may want to head back to the station now.”

 

“After a conversation like that?” Marlin asked incredulously. “Just what is going on?!”

 

“Remember how Clemin said I was a monster?” Selim asked softly, calling to his shadows in the back of his mind. They rose out of the ground around him like black tentacles, shivering with anticipation. “It turns out he was right.”

 

It must have been a sight to see him standing there with his monstrous shadows because both Bonnie and Marlin stood staring with gaping mouths and pale faces at the scene. He refused to turn around. For some reason he could not fathom, he simply couldn’t stomach the idea of facing them, so he kept his eyes on the Elrics, watching the mercenaries that had accompanied him through one of his shadows’ eyes. For a moment he considered taking them hostage, but in the long run doubted it would make much difference. It wasn’t that he didn’t want them hurt, he told himself. And he most certainly did not care about their well being at all.

 

“M-monster?” Marlin said shakily. Selim tried to hide his flinch. Hearing him say the word didn’t exactly help his state of mind at the moment. Even as Pride he’d never considered himself a monster. He’d reserved that label for weak, power-hungry humans.

 

It felt like a stalemate with the tension filled atmosphere loaded and ready to break at any second. No one seemed to want to make the first advance.

 

Then the person Selim least expected anything from moved. He watched through his shadow’s eye in surprise as platinum blond strode purposefully past him, positioned herself between him and the Elrics, and faced him with folded arms and an unimpressed expression.

 

“Monster, huh?” she asked. “You know if you would have told me that even a week ago, I’d have believed you. The way you spoke to me on that first day didn’t sit right with me, but let me tell you what I’ve noticed since then:

 

“You are a spoiled brat.”

 

Selim bristled, but she continued before he could say anything. “You’re used to a soft life filled with wealth. Despite that, you were naïve enough to do everything you could to keep other people out of danger.” Selim frowned, remembering how he had indeed asked them to leave Mandy alone when they’d been cornered in New Optain, and how he’d gone to Xing to try and get answers. His intent at the time had been to control his power and the voice in his head so that he wouldn’t hurt people around him.

 

Of course that hadn’t been the only reason he’d gone on his little adventure. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Bonnie plowed on.

 

“You’re intelligent and calculating and one of the only people I’ve ever met who would walk into a dangerous situation to save a stranger.”

 

The train, Selim realized. “That was my fault to begin with.”

 

“So? You still risked your life to save that man and paid for it from what I heard. How long did it take for you to recover? Days?”

 

He didn’t really have anything to refute that, but he couldn’t find himself quite able to accept her words. Face grim, he wiled one of his shadows forward. It complied, stopping just in front of her eyes. She paled and took a step back despite her words. Her reaction was less than encouraging.

 

“Take a good look at this—at what I can do,” he said softly. “I’m an artificial being created with alchemy. Did you know that? I’m not even human.” He snickered mirthlessly at the comment. He still couldn’t decide whether he liked or hated that fact, but that was beside the point for the moment. He went on, leaning forward for emphasis. “And I’ve killed people. Hundreds of people. I killed and ate my own brother! Do you remember the day fifteen years ago when every person in the entire country collapsed? I played a large part in that whole incident! I almost helped destroy Amestris and was disappointed when I found our carefully laid plan had failed! I’ve manipulated and blackmailed people for decades at a time and I still find myself looking down on all of you pathetic weaklings that infest the face of this miserable planet!

 

“Now look at all of that and tell me I’m not a monster.”

 

Her eyes had widened, and she looked extremely unsteady, but then her expression hardened with determination and she stood straight. Behind her, Edward and Alphonse had begun to advance, probably coming to her rescue, but at her reaction they stopped, looking on warily.

 

“We all have our pasts, Selim,” she said, voice firm but soft. “Some worse than others. The thing is, just a few days ago I saw a boy forgiving and thanking his would-be kidnappers as they tried to escape possible custody. You didn’t dwell on the fact that we’d put you in danger, or the fact that we had indeed meant you harm. You didn’t even acknowledge what kinds of inconveniences we’d caused you, or the worry that we’d given your family by our actions.

 

“Monsters don’t do that. Maybe you were a monster at one time, Selim, but you’re not now.”

 

The world seemed to slow around them as he stared at the Ishbalan, mind blank. He hadn’t moved his shadow, but she refused to back down, standing there expectantly, arms still folded firmly in front of her.

 

“That boy you knew had fifteen years of experience,” Selim said softly. “The monster has over three hundred. Once I regained those memories Selim Baker was doomed. How long do you think the conflict will last? And which one do you honestly think will win?”

 

Bonnie shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “Dunno. The thing you’re overlooking is the fact that there is a conflict. I don’t know how bad it is, you’re pretty good at hiding it, but you just admitted that it’s there. Fifteen vs. three hundred, you say? Why hasn’t the three-hundred-year-old monster won yet? Seems to me that that side should have completely annihilated Selim already.”

 

He was surprised she’d caught on so quickly. He hadn’t even really explained half of the situation and she’d grasped it surprisingly well. For a human, that was.

 

“I don’t know,” he heard himself say, unable to keep the frustration from his voice. “It makes no sense to me. Pride should have overwhelmed Selim. There’s no contest. Selim is weak, and Pride is strong. Selim is human. That in and of itself should say everything. So why isn’t he gone? Why does he still influence me just as much as Pride does? It shouldn’t be this way and I don’t know why it is.”

 

He felt almost naked—completely defenseless standing there in broad daylight. Part of him just wanted to curl up in a corner with a blanket and hide, while the side of him that was Pride wanted to tear everything around him into pieces in his embarrassment and anger.

 

“I’m so tired of not knowing,” he muttered wearily, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them a few seconds later, he caught sight of the Elrics again—still standing there warily—and his eyes narrowed.

 

Bonnie followed his gaze and turned to look at them.

 

“You asked ‘what now’,” she said. “Now I’ll ask you the same question. You won’t let him go…”

 

Edward shook his head and Alphonse sighed. “I don’t think you quite understand how irresponsible of us that would be. He’s dangerous.”

 

“So are you,” she returned.

 

“Al’s not going to try to kill anyone any time soon.”

 

“Selim hasn’t killed anyone recently.”

 

“No, but he tried to kill Major General Mustang,” Alphonse said in that quiet tone that refused to waver. Sometimes Selim thought the quieter of the two could easily be the scariest. “And all of his men.”

 

Selim saw Bonnie’s mouth thin from the side, and then she turned back to look at him. He couldn’t meet her eyes. It took him a moment to realize that he was ashamed. He—the physical embodiment of pride—regretted his actions. Well, somewhat. He still felt a smoldering hate for the Major General.

 

His reaction was all the answer she needed. “So what happens if he goes with you quietly?”

 

Selim answered that himself. “They’ll kill me.”

 

“What?” Bonnie asked.

 

He raised his eyes to meet hers. “I’m too dangerous to keep around. Less than two decades ago, I almost destroyed the country. They won’t allow me to live. Either that or they’ll lock me up in a pitch-black room with no light and no contacts…if I’m lucky.”

 

She glanced back at the brothers. “Is this true?”

 

Alphonse looked troubled, but Edward refused to back down. “It isn’t our concern,” he said. “But I refuse to let him go free when he’s already killed hundreds of innocent people.”

 

Selim wanted to flinch. Pride wanted to gloat.

 

Bonnie glanced at Selim for conformation, and again he refused to meet her eyes. All of him hated the shame he felt once again. Pride wanted to deny he felt any shame. Out of the corner of his view, he saw the bounty hunter look back and forth between Selim and the Elrics for several seconds, obviously trying to work something out.

 

“I don’t get it,” she said finally. “You all are describing a horrible, despicable being,” Selim bristled again, looking up at her angrily. Homunculi weren’t despicable! Humans were! Weren’t they? “But all I’ve ever met is a completely normal teenager with very good qualities. Conflict or not, how can we be talking about the same person?

 

“Either you’re the most incredible actor in the world,” she nodded to Selim, “or both of you are wrong.”

 

“We’re not wrong,” Edward insisted.

 

Simultaneously, Selim spoke softly. “I wasn’t acting.”

 

Bonnie put a hand up to the bridge of her nose and began to massage it, saying something under her breath that sounded like ‘stupid, egotistical males’. Selim found it funny that her comment about his gender didn’t nearly bother him as much as the comments about his race.

 

After a few minutes, she rounded on Selim. “Alright, you say you killed people. Do you regret it?”

 

Selim blinked. “What?”

 

“Those humans you killed three hundred years ago or whatever it was. Do you regret it?”

 

Yet again, his mind ground to a halt and he couldn’t even seem to formulate an answer. Did he regret it? He could remember almost every face, if only because Pride had enjoyed their expressions of horror and pain. It sickened him.

 

“I-I don’t know,” he said again, hating how unsure he sounded. “Part of me does. Part of me hates who I used to be and is completely disgusted by it. How could I have ever treated life so carelessly? But part of me…” he felt a slight grin come over his face, and felt himself grow even more disgusted inside because of it. “Part of me would do it all again in a heartbeat. Part of me can’t help but think that humans are a disgusting blight and that the world would be better off without them.

 

“Can you imagine anyone thinking like that?” He realized that his voice had gained just the slightest touch of hysteria. “I can’t, but I am. How can that be?” The stirrings of a migraine began to rise in the back of his head. He’d known it was only a matter of time before the warring personalities that constituted his current state of mind began to take a physical toll. Of course, it would come at a time like this.

 

The older woman sighed again and leaned back with a grim expression. “You’re not making this easy, you know.”

 

He chuckled wryly under his breath. “I thought you could talk your way out of anything.”

 

She shot a sharp glance his way. “Who told you that?”

 

He thumbed over his shoulder to where Marlin was standing quietly, suddenly seeming uncomfortable under her gaze. Funny, hadn’t she been there at the time he’d told Mandy and Selim that? The memory seemed fuzzy and inconsequential next to everything else, so the homunculus dismissed the thought and watched Marlin fidget through his shadows. That’s when he realized that perhaps having them waving around in mid-air like that might not be a good thing. They’d already been out for several minutes.

 

He felt the stirrings of panic rise within him. He hadn’t used them a great deal, but he was afraid it would still take a toll on his body. Slowly, he began to retract them, hoping to conserve energy but afraid he was already too late.

 

“Selim, do you think you could win in a fight against them?” Bonnie asked as she gestured to the Elrics, voice low enough that only he could hear.

 

He blinked, surprised. “What do you mean?”

 

She took a preparatory breath and continued in the same tone. “I don’t know exactly what the deal with those black things are,” she nodded to the retreating shadows, “but if you think you can take them, we can make a run for it.”

 

He was so shocked he dropped his connection to his shadows completely and they all shot back into the ground. As always, he felt the draw on his body’s energy most when he released his hold on his powers, and couldn’t help but stagger. It wasn’t as bad as it had been, just sudden—like that first night on the train.

 

“Selim?” Bonnie asked worriedly. It was the first real expression he figured he’d seen on her face, and couldn’t help but feel touched, even as the Pride side of him scoffed at such a pathetic, useless display.

 

“I’m fine,” he muttered, glancing past her and at the Elrics, who seemed to be in the middle of their own heated discussion. “I don’t know if I can. My shadows take a lot of energy to maintain. Without more energy in my stone, the odds are stacked against me.”

 

“You’ve mentioned that before. What is this stone? Is there a way to get more energy to it?”

 

Selim snorted. Her reaction to this should be interesting. “My body is maintained by a philosopher’s stone. Philosopher’s stones consist of living, human souls. The only way I can replenish the energy is to kill people and absorb their life force. It’s what maintains my own.”

 

She blanched again and brought a hand to her mouth.

 

Then she lowered it to reveal tight, thin lips. “You were planning on killing us, weren’t you.” She didn’t say it as a question.

 

He looked down. “The thought had crossed my mind.”

 

It seemed he’d finally gotten the nature of his very being across to her. Well, that was a good thing, wasn’t it? Disgusted and horrified, she and Marlin would finally leave and he could concentrate on—

 

“Why didn’t you?”

 

He froze. “Why didn’t I what?”

 

“You had plenty of time to kill us and I’m guessing from what you said earlier that it would have completely healed you. No one would have noticed if you had, so why didn’t you?”

 

He could only blink at her, knowing the answer but unwilling to say it. He didn’t want to admit it. He really didn’t want to admit it. Yet another blow to his pride that he’d been trying to avoid.

 

Finally he forced himself to answer. “I don’t know, okay! I don’t know why I didn’t kill you, I just couldn’t! Just like I couldn’t kill Mandy; stupid, pathetic weakling that she is! She got in the way and I stopped and I don’t know why! It shouldn’t be like this, and it’s killing me! I am two separate people who have almost nothing in common and it’s made me weaker than all of you!”

 

He stood there with his fists clenched, entire body shaking with anger and frustration. His weakness disgusted him more and more with every passing second. It was almost as if he didn’t have any pride anymore.

 

Did he? Did he even deserve his name now?

 

Oh, Father would be so disappointed.

 

“Humility isn’t weakness,” Al said, pulling Selim out of his depressive thoughts. What had brought that thought on?

 

“What do you mean?” he asked, wishing he didn’t sound so dull and lifeless, but unable to muster the energy to respond differently. “Of course it is.”

 

“Why?”

 

Selim blinked. Were they really that stupid? Wasn’t it obvious?

 

Was it obvious?

 

“When you have no pride, you have no motivation,” he said finally, carefully tip-towing around every word. He’d never had to voice it before. It felt strange.

 

“That’s not completely true,” Alphonse said.

 

“Oh?” Pride scoffed. “You two fought because of your pride in your family. I’m assuming that’s why you’re still fighting. You got it from your father. He had that pride too.” Edward opened his mouth to protest, but Selim kept going. “Greed’s container and that little Xingese girl had pride in their clans and countries.” Surprisingly enough Alphonse tensed up at that. Pride hadn’t even realized there was a soft spot there. He noted that for possible use later. “Mustang has pride in his alchemy and office. Hawkeye has pride in her superior officer, as do most of the Colonel—I mean General’s lackeys.

 

“Everyone who fights has pride.”

 

He expected outbursts, protests and all sorts of arguments that he could work with. Alphonse seemed ready to jump in for once, angry expression twisting his innocent features.

 

Strangely enough, it was Edward who seemed to remain calm. Sighing, he lowered his gun and raised a hand to rub at the back of his head. He almost seemed disappointed.

 

Selim scowled. “You disagree?” He wouldn’t let them know how much their little switching act had thrown him off balance. They had always been such a constant before…

 

“You really don’t get it, do you,” Edward muttered, just loud enough for Selim to hear. He didn’t say it as a question.

 

Pride didn’t answer, frown deepening.

 

Alphonse turned to stare in incredulity at his brother for a moment. Then his face melted back into its normal, neutral state.

 

Pride knew he’d missed something.

 

“It’s not pride,” Edward said as if reading Selim’s mind.

 

“What is it then?” he scoffed. Neither one of them answered. Then something clicked, and Pride couldn’t help a condescending chuckle. “Sentiment again? Love? Foolish humans. Love is just another form of pride.”

 

“You’re wrong.”

 

Surprisingly enough, that hadn’t come from either of the brothers. Actually, it had come from behind him. Surprised, Selim turned and glanced at Marlin.

 

He cleared his throat and spoke again. “I just have to say it. Love is the opposite of pride. Pride is selfish, and sometimes rightly earned. Love—real love—is selfless and completely unpredictable. You’ll do what’s best for the other person, no matter what. There are all types of love and all types of pride, and sometimes they overlap. But they’re not the same by any stretch of the imagination.”

 

Okay, hearing that come from a man that big was just strange.

 

Selim opened his mouth to say just that, when a new voice called out in the distance.

 

“Sir! I found them!” Everyone turned to see several men in blue suits come marching over a lip in the road some distance away. One man, probably a scout of some sort, was waving to them as they caught up to him. At that point another, all too familiar man took the lead. A tall man with short, dark blond, spiky hair.

 

Selim felt his features tense angrily. That was one of Mustang’s men. Havoc, if he remembered correctly. Yes, he was the man Lust had supposedly ‘taken care’ of.

 

“There you two are!” he called with a wave. “Sorry we’re so late. We got stalled leaving New Optain because of the new FFO situation. Then we got lost.”

 

How could anyone possibly get lost in a farm town like Risembool? Selim found himself wondering. Then he realized what their arrival meant: Reinforcements. He might have been able to hold his own against Edward and Alphonse, especially if only the latter could use Alchemy. He couldn’t do so against so many men in this kind of an open space. He could try and keep a shield up while they escaped, but then what? He couldn’t hold one up indefinitely, especially not in his condition, and he had no doubt the soldiers would be able to follow easily.

 

Then his mind caught something else about the same time as the Elrics.

 

“What new situation?” Alphonse asked worriedly, turning to look at the approaching men. Apparently they hadn’t recognized Selim yet. He thought about taking the opportunity to get away, but Edward refused to look anywhere but at Pride. Not surprising, but highly inconvenient.

 

“Oh, you haven’t heard? We managed to evacuate most of Central, but apparently the FFO got wind of it and decided it made a good target. They’ve been…”

 

He froze, finally seeming to recognize Selim. He looked rather comical, standing there with his mouth open, cigarette almost dropping out of it. Then he raised his weapon, swearing loudly. His men followed suit, minus the language.

 

“You finally noticed, Havoc?” Edward called over his shoulder.

 

“What’s going on, Fullmetal?”

 

“That’s not my name anymore.”

 

A pause. “Sorry, Ed.”

 

Edward shrugged. “We ran across Pride.”

 

“I can see that,” Havoc snapped. “What’s going on?”

 

“He’s down to one life in his stone still,” Alphonse supplied. “So he heals like a normal human. In his condition,” the blond glanced back at Selim with hard, blue eyes, “he can’t fight much.”

 

“‘He’ is also right here,” Selim heard himself growl. “And I can fight. Want to test me?” he glanced over at Havoc. “I could easily put you back in that wheelchair if I so desired.”

 

He couldn’t help the swell of satisfaction that came with Havoc’s suddenly pale face and narrowed eyes.

 

“Hold it!” Bonnie said, stepping forward again. She shot a glare at Selim. “You aren’t making your situation any easier. Do you want them to kill you? This is the military we’re talking about. They’re not exactly saints and they don’t need much provocation.”

 

Havoc grit his teeth, but didn’t say anything. Selim scowled, but backed down. It felt like someone had punched his gut to do so, but he swallowed the feeling, albeit with some difficulty.

 

“And as for you all,” she turned and glared firmly, not seeming to care that she now stared down the barrels of at least five rifles. “Until you came in, we were making some progress here. My recommendation is to stuff it and keep your ugly mouths shut until we can figure this out! Got it?”

 

“And just who are you?” Havoc returned. “And why should we listen to you?”

 

Bonnie’s mouth thinned. “We’re friends of his.”

 

Edward’s frown deepened. “He doesn’t have friends,” he practically growled.

 

“Will you get over yourself?!” Bonnie practically exploded. Edward blinked and straightened with surprise. “We get it! You hate him! He did bad things! He’s dangerous! But that does not give anyone here the right to kill him!”

 

“We have been given permission to use lethal force,” one of the lackeys that Selim didn’t know said.

 

Havoc shot him a glare and he backed down.

 

Bonnie scoffed, her face falling into a despising glare. “That is something I would expect from the government. On the face of it, you’re all just and fair, but in actuality, nothing has changed. All of you are just like you claim he is,” she pointed back to Selim who happened to be just as surprised as everyone else there. Perhaps more so. He’d never heard anything like that come from the false blond.

 

“We’re not backing down.” Marlin said, coming to stand by her. Selim found himself suddenly uneasy. He could tell where this was going, and he knew it would not end well. These two were in the habit of standing against the government whenever and however they could. He’d known that before, but he could see it now: they hated the military almost as much as Pride did. Their eyes held a defiant, dangerous glitter that Selim could only barely see from his angle, but it was there.

 

Yet again, he found himself at a decision he couldn’t seem to make. One thing was for sure, he did not want them caught in the middle of his fight. All of him agreed with that, but he wasn’t concerned for them. He most certainly wasn’t worried about how they might get hurt because of this. He just wasn’t…was he? Part of him screamed ‘no’, while the other side firmly stated ‘yes’.

 

What surprised him, though, was that the calmer, human side was stronger this time…just barely, but enough that even he could tell.

 

“Stop!” he yelled. Bonnie and Marlin turned to look at him with confusion.

 

“What?” Marlin asked.

 

“Don’t get in the way,” he muttered, feeling his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. He hated feeling embarrassed. It usually meant his ego had taken another blow. He really wouldn’t have any of his pride left by the time he was done. That scared him; it was all he had left…but that same pride wouldn’t allow him to back down now.

 

“What do you mean, ‘get in the way’?” Bonnie asked angrily.

 

Selim shot a glare at her. “I’m not some martyr for your cause or some wronged being you need to protect. Technically I’m older than every single being here combined and truthfully I deserve their distrust. Those two have personal reasons to hate me as much as I hate them,” he nodded at the Elrics, then turned his glare to Havoc. “And my sister crippled him. I’m surprised he can walk at all.” And there wasn’t any begrudging respect in that either! Aarg!

 

It had become a difficult chore to keep his face neutral.

 

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and as calmly as he could, considered his options. One: He could fight. It was his preferred reaction but if he tried to attack in his condition, he had very little chance of survival. It bothered him that such an outcome would have any merit to him. Two: He could run. The problem in this lay with the fact that he’d be unable to run for long, again due to his physical condition. This option also had a high possibility of failure, and if he had to die, he would not run away like a cowardly human. Three: He could turn himself in. He hated giving in at all, but if he did so, it could buy him at least a day while having the added benefit of giving him more time to recover.

 

He already knew which option he would choose. That didn’t mean he had to like it. Gritting his teeth, he moved past the two bounty hunters.

 

“If I go with you,” he said as neutrally as he could, “I have three conditions. One, let them go. They have nothing to do with this. Two, I wish to speak to my mother when we return. She will be given unlimited access to whatever containment I will be committed to.” He didn’t add the ‘as long as they keep me alive’ that everyone knew was tacked onto the end of the sentence. “Three, we wait for the normal train back to New Optain. You create whatever arrangements you feel will be necessary for travel and containment, but it will be on that train.” Which meant he’d end up in the dark again, but he was proud of the fact that he’d lengthened the original amount of he’d thought he could buy himself off the top of his head like that.

 

“And where are we supposed to keep you now?” Edward asked, bristling.

 

Selim shrugged. “You work out whatever you wish, but I will not attempt to escape whatever prison you come up with.”

 

Edward scoffed. “Like we’ll believe you.”

 

“I didn’t expect you to. Do we have a deal?”

 

“Yes,” Havoc said, stepping forward. “We can construct a temporary containment at the Elrics, correct?” He nodded at Alphonse who returned the gesture firmly. “Just know that if you try anything, we will use lethal force.”

 

“Of course,” the homunculus wanted to roll his eyes, but felt he’d already lost enough dignity as it was. Havoc gestured for his men to surround Selim, who didn’t move. He kept his eyes focused on Edward’s, glaring with as much disdain and disgust that he could manage.

 

“Selim,” Bonnie spoke, sounding both disappointed and confused, “you don’t have to do this.”

 

“I’m not doing this for you,” he said as coldly as he could. “I’m doing this because it’s the best option for me.” He knew the truth though. He’d only considered his options because they’d gotten in his way, and was doing this for them as much as he was for himself.

 

They didn’t answer. He knew they continued to watch him as the small contingent of army men marched down the road, rifles at ready. He hoped they’d take the chance he’d given them to get out of this mess now. With the way the situation had developed he wasn’t sure he would still care enough to save them later.

 

xXx

 

Not that anyone's reading this right now, but I only have one chapter written for next week (just got over a rather large block on it) and as such I'm going to have to take a hiatus after next week.

 

Hope this chapter met up with people's expectations. ^^;