Non SW prompt based short (Complete)

[silent88]

So I had to write a creative short story for a prompt in my creative writing class. I thought it would be interesting to post the prompt and my response. Its and interesting prompt if anyone wants to write on it that could be fun, but here it is:

 

A character who is obsessed with their most marked characteristic and their afraid of what they regard as their lowest depth of misery.

 

It's hot here. I mean it's blazing, all eyes on you, the lights on you. The body heat of a million plus persons staring at you all at once. Even just walking out onto the stage destroys all resemblance to a person that there is. Out here you are a star, maybe more than a star, maybe a god. Who would want this as a god? Even my mother is afraid of this.

 

It started as a simple statement, a rebellion against the man. Quickly people started noticing due to the extreme methods I used to make my case. Soon I was doing anything to make myself unique. The need to be different grew from the sorrow of living alone in the hazy clouds of my mind. The need to be recognized grew to a point that I would do anything for attention.

 

I soon found my way into a band that thrived on my need to be different. We grew from a punk rock band trying to make a statement to a band that needed the best live show ever. It started with yelling, to burning the US flag, burning bibles, to spraying blood into the audience. Just to feel unique.

 

I started to feel like something wasn't right when my parents said they didn't want us to come home for Christmas, and they stopped taking my phone calls. I did so many things that I can never take back. I feel the diseases slowly take my life, but I try to be different to remain unique until my last breath. The eyes around the stadium all watch me as I walk to the microphone to give the last concert of my life.

 

I destroyed those people with my poison, the way my need for diversity poisoned me. I destroyed them as I doomed myself. Now it was my turn. The crack from behind me starts the drum intro as I slowly walk to the front of the stage. People rush out around me and grab my arms. The people lift me onto a table, and chain me down. The man in the jacket whispers something, I just keep singing like I am expected to at the last concert of my life. I feel the needle touch my arm, and shortly I have no more control of my body, and the singing ceases, although I keep trying. At least there is no pain like they promised. I slowly feel my body fail as total control of my muscles stop, just like those dozen people all those years ago. It feels like yesterday.

 

No one wants me anymore, no one comes to the rescue of their god, or their son. Now my eyes flutter around the room looking for redemption from my mistakes. The only escape I had found in my life was my music, it had destroyed me, just like everything else. My eyes rested on a camera, and I realized all of my worshipers were watching their god become a mortal, and with him their dreams are silenced.

Edited March 21, 2007 by Guest

[Tiana Calthye]

Hmmm. I'm not entirely sure what happened. I have to say it was creepy, and take back my ranting review that you needed some seriously grammar and spelling help from before--as evidently you can write quite neatly. POV, isn't it?

 

Honestly, I found it a bit confusing. I'm not a fan of short, short stories... I prefer length and real character development... though this was enjoyable. I just felt that through reading it, it wanted to be longer.

 

As an appearance note, I'd like to suggest that you bold the prompt, and put a *** or something between that and the story start. I may take your promt, as I have a character who very nicely fits into it... >.> Obsession, and the fear of having that all taken away... hmm. Yes, we'll see. Perhaps see if Ami can have it stuck into our challenge thread, or post it into the plot bunny thread?

 

I liked it, really. I just would've liked to see more to it. Lovely bit of intensity. Ah, well, short stories are an art in themselves.

[Anakin T Skywalker]

Yeah, I don't quite get what happened, but it was intense enough, I guess.