JediKaren

Thank you so much for read. I'll post the next chapter and yes it has been thoroughly edited to death. Chp 2 Mirmo Many people have told me that meditation is a waste of time, a tedious experience that puts them to sleep, but that is because they perform it incorrectly, like my apprentice. If done correctly with careful, constant practice, another thing my apprentice refuses to do, one can achieve universal oneness with the Force. Most people yawn at this point and change the topic to something more interesting like the weather, or the newest fashion trend for Hutts. I do not get discouraged by this. I know I am not everyone and I am glad of that. I have always been told how wonderful it must be to always be calm when placed in a testing situation, which my apprentice frequently places me into, such as now. Do not get the impression that I do not care, deeply care that is, for Karen. She truly was an amazing student when she wanted to be, and clever and the fastest learner when she fancied, probably one of the strongest people that I have ever known, ranking close to Master Skywalker, but she does severely push my limits from time to time. I love her like a father loves a daughter, and I feverishly hope I have treated her far better than her father did. The memories she shared with me only days ago had caused me unpleasant dreams, and I can not understand how she manages to hold back her screams at night. She claimed during the council meeting that she no longer had nightmares, but from the experiences that I had been suffering from, I had to wonder if that was not said for saving face. I had hope this voyage would provide both of us an opportunity to get to know each other and resolve the uncertainty and strained feeling between us. There was also the hope that this trip would teach her things that a classroom could not, but she was focusing on the less positive aspects of travel and was making the worst of it. I had hoped during the time spent traveling, we could talk, but so far we have only said the bare minimum. As the master, one would assume it was my responsibility to initiate the conversation. Because Karen was the one that left me with no note or idea of where she was or why she left, or if she needed me, I felt it was up to her to start the conversation. She seemed to radiate a feeling of very tense confusion and she was withdrawn, perhaps hurt by the lack of communication between us. This is why I was sitting in front of the blinking green and red console, eyes closed, mind empty, being one with the galaxy, searching for the a deeper truth of life and Force. I had nearly reached the desired state of mind for the meditation when I noticed something in the small room. Mentally, I pulled out of this state and called upon the Force to search for the cause of the interruption with my eyes still closed. The life energy that gave all Jedi their endless power hinted to me it was my restless apprentice squirming again in her seat. My plan to spend the trip peacefully meditating the time away had a few holes. I held a sigh and opened my eyes. One amazing talent she had was being able to ignore my glaze for a full five minutes. When she stopped pretending that she had not noticed me, I asked her if something was wrong. ”œOh. Um no, nothing is wrong.”

Ch1 Karen Adventure: It wasn't something a Jedi craved, daydreamed, or furiously worked to make happen. Yet, here I was, on a ship in hyperspace, sailing through space and time to a planet that was full of adventure and I loved and craved it. I loved the excitement, the unknown events waiting to happen, the real danger, and the speed of a trip. I was a veteran traveler who knew that adventure was not all thrills and included late or missed meals, sickness, lack of sleep, and the dull moments that were in all trips. I knew all there was to know about travel, like travel days. Travel days were guaranteed to bore anyone to sleep and make them wish they were back home doing something useful and vaguely exciting with their life rather than doing the tedious job of sitting in a cramped seat in a cramped ship, next to an equally cramped, unentertaining Jedi Master named Mirmo. I had to admit that at least I did not have to sit the whole time or sleep in that chair like I might have done back on my home planet which was rather backwards and unknown to the rest of the galaxy. The small ship contained a compartment of one bed in the back, a tiny galley of one burner with one pot to cook, a tiny sink to clean everything, including myself and my master, and a tiny cupboard to store protein bars which I quickly grew to hate. Travel days were also a logical must in order to have an adventure. There was no possible way to get from point A to point B without the weariness of travel unless one knew the secrets of teleportation and I was mentally working out the physics of that. I forced my addicted-to-depression mind to look for something positive about where I was and what I was doing. There was one nice point about travel. It gave me plenty of time to reflect on my past life on my home planet compared to my life now and how I had changed, and more importantly the relationship between me and the man sitting next to me. Master Mirmo was my one true and beloved master who took me as his apprentice, six months after my first scary meeting with the council. It was funny to say, but I was starting to believe that Mirmo loved me as his apprentice. I think he saw me as the daughter he never had and never will. I wanted to say deep in his heart he loved me the way I had grown up to believe is right and true; somehow I couldn't see this feeling in him. He might have been sitting half an arm's length away, but it felt like he was galaxies further. My natural emotional, hungry heart reached out to him, for his strength, support, and wisdom. All I got was coldness, like a turned back, wondering eyes and a blank, unreadable face that evaded the best my scanning abilities could produce. This distance hurt me because I knew I had hurt him. He had said in front of the council he had forgave me and asked me to accept his apology. It seemed now he had forgotten those easy words and had withdrawn from all around him. The worst part of sitting in that small, cold metal chair was my mind wouldn't leave the past. Again and again, I saw myself run through the jungle, look into the misleading eyes of my role model, hearing the words that stung so clearly with truth, and when I felt I was done and had won, seeing the feelings and thoughts of my master as he picked up and carried me back home. I thought I was done with this pain and this past haunting me. I had found my inner child as some would say. I had started to genuinely heal myself, something even Mirmo couldn't get me to do. Did my master not see this process begin? If he did, then why did he stop caring for me? Why didn't he talk to me? He said we had much to talk about and now would be the perfect time to talk. He begged so many questions in this awkward silence. There was so much confusion in the air, I felt like I could reach out and touch it with my fingers. I looked over my right shoulder to peer at Mirmo. His body posture was relaxed, forming to the ridged chair. His face was composed while he meditated. I noticed his eye lids weren't moving, which told me he was not asleep and therefore was doing his customary meditation that he was so fond of doing. I moved in my chair, dying to get up and stretch, but I didn't dare it. With our relationship being so rocky and traveling a path I knew nothing about how to navigate, it was better I didn't disturb him and end up annoying him. I stretched what little I could by flexing my legs and arching my back to get the kinks out, but that did nothing to relieve my restlessness. My eyes turned away from his peaceful outward look and glazed out the small window of the front of the ship. Billions of streaks that I had to guess were stars zoomed pass the window. The space between the streaks was the blackest black I had ever seen. The view was gorgeous to me who had never seen space. My trip to the Jedi academy on Yavin Four from my home planet was spent asleep or eating, so this was the first time I had ever seen space with my own two eyes. Again, I forced myself to think of something else, something cheerful. I allowed myself the brief joyous feeling of where we were going, which was the biggest city ever made. In my travel, I had been to a fair amount of cities. My house was about an hour away from the capital of the area where I lived. I had learned that big, important cities were not all what people made them, which was of two ideas. The first idea that cities where a place of unlimited wealth, with the streets paved in gold, everyone was dressed in unspeakable riches, and smiles were to be seen everywhere. The second impression everyone had about cities who didn't live in or near one, was that cities were the most dangerous places to live. If you weren't mugged on the street during broad daylight, raped during the night, and then shot and never found again, you were most likely going to die of poverty and some hideous disease. In my experience, cities were not just one or the other, but had a bit of both and then more. A sigh escaped past my mouth with a twitch of my body. Impatience and worry made me restless. I stared out in the dark nothingness that our ship soared through, hoping the trip was over soon. It hurt so much to sit next to a stranger.

Reaching through Darkness Sequel to The Hidden Secret Also known as the Emotional Battle So here is the intro to the story (yes I'm torturing you all mwhahaha) Karen, a twenty one year women from a far outer rim planet, came to the Jedi Academy to train as a Jedi and to move past her fearful and abusive past. Through a lot of rough times and the help of her much loved Master, Mirmo, she faces her fears and becomes the Jedi she always wanted to be. At the end of a fate deciding meeting with the Jedi council, her master requests and receives permission to take her on her first mission to Coruscant. The trip starts out slow paced, boring as any meditation session could be, until they set foot on the immensely busy ship landing station The ever going up building, the unbelievable diverse masses, and the rush of the fast life is quite a different setting of the quiet and alive Yavin four. Karen is introduced to an old friend of Mirmo who's character is questionable, but proves to be interesting, like the idea of planet wide city that never sleeps. As Mirmo brings Karen to see the low and high of life of the planet, they discover someone, or someones is following them for unknown reasons. When Mirmo makes the mistake of taking his eyes off his apprentice for just a second, she disappears to face the worse of nightmares....

The Story Behind the Story Many of you have asked me a ton of questions relating to the story and I would like to answer them once and for all. So here I go. I hope you find this interesting. 1. Will there be a sequel to this story? Yes there is. I am currently working on it. I don't know when it will be done or if it will be a long as this was, but I do promise you it will be very very different. It is called Reaching Through Darkness. 2. Did you have this all planned out or did you make it up as you went along? It's half and half. I had certain scenes planned out and a general direction for the story to take. I knew how I wanted her to meet Mirmo. I knew I wanted Mirmo to help her through her nightmares and fears. I wanted her to learn about the Force and lightsaber skills. I knew I wanted her to face down her fears and I knew about the letter at the end. The rest of it came to me either as I was writing it or during walks or at night when lying in bed. 3. Will you publish this? This version of the story can't be published. George Lucas and Lucas Films won't accept fan fiction. Also being an unknown writer wouldn't help my chances. The only way I could publish this is to take out anything related to star wars and change it. That means words like: Force, Luke Skywalkers, lightsaber, Jedi, Yarvin 4, comn link, and so on would have to be changed to something else. Third, this story badly needs the atom bomb of grammar dropped on it. I'm not sure if I could even get through editing this story just for grammar. There are a lot of things I would like to redo like the first council scene, length dialog, put more detail in at the beginning, completely rewrite the first chapter, and so on. 4. Why were the chapters so short? Well I did that to keep the readers interested. I've found that readers can usually read 1000-2000 words and the shorter the chapter is, the more likely you can get new readers to read. I tried very hard to average out about 1000 words per the chapter. If I ever went back and edited the story, I would combine chapters and get rid of the many cliff hangers I tortured you all with. 5. How much of this story relates to you? Honestly, a lot. Most everything was taken or inspired by something that had happened in my life. Here are some examples of what I mean: Her trouble of adapting to the school: That was taken from my first month of college. I pretty much had no friends, scared, lonely, emotional unstable, homesick, and having trouble dealing with my past. Class behavior: That was me pointing out how rude a lot of students are to their teachers. I was completely grossed out and left severely disappointed with my class in high school because we had no respect for the teacher. We would never shut up. We never did the homework. We barely passed any of the tests, which were already dumbed down. The teachers didn't even try to get us to think. We were spoon fed everything, which annoyed the heck out of me. I spent much of my time bored The first council scene: Lol”¦oh boy there's an interesting story. Basically read my astral project logs and you'll have a laugh. But honestly, I have always, and probably continue to have this fear of being made to be in a scene like the council in the Old Order. The thought of all those minds seeing through me gives me a bad case of the shivers. The nightmares: Yes I do suffer from nightmares. My last year in high school was overrun with countless horrible nightmares. I did dream of my father, though not quite the way the story goes, and I did have a lot of fear issues due to those dreams. I also had the bad habit of not telling anyone close to me about them, which made the fear worse, which lead to even more nightmares a night. When I finally got to college, the dreams stopped. The tk dream was actually a dream I really had a few nights before I wrote that chapter and used it for the story. The two flashback memories sessions: This may come as a shock, but those eight memories are real. They really did happen to me, that same exact way. Yes, I live with an abuse, angry father and a helpless, hopeless mother. Those two chapters were the worst by far to write. The second one had me crying at the end of writing it. Yes, I have gone and gotten help. I have really gotten past a lot of the fear and anger, but I still struggle with my past and probably will for many years to come. Shots: Lol, yes I really hate shots and about act that way too. The telekinesis class: Yes, if you basically follow that with a bit more information, you can really do tk, as can I. I do not lie about that. Nature: You've notice how much I go into nature. I love life. I love the woods. I love walking around, feeling the Force, and being part of natural life. I really am anti social and walking through woods is usually how I withstand most people. Art: Yep, I love to draw and have taught a few private lessons on how to draw. I do love to do horses and have an art site if you're interested. Running away: Would have I done that in real life? The answer is yes. It's shameful to say, but when under that much stress and depression, I tend to do crazy stuff and usually just want to get outside and away from the world. Yoda: Ok, I confess I deeply and dearly love the little green dude. I'm not totally sure why, but I loved him since ep 5, before ep 1,2,3 came out. If I must be cornered into venturing a guess, I think it's because he's so deep and complex, yet there is little revealed about him. This is a guy that understands the world like no other. This is a guy that can understand anyone, including myself. He's my role model and just plain an awesome guy that I wish were real and I wish I could have a chat with sometime. I also tend to day dream myself being in Luke's place and trying to convince him to train me. So the idea of him refusing me would be a nightmare. The crying child: I have once meditated and did find myself in the image of a crying child and once I had taken care of that child a lot of my fears went away. So that was taken from real life. Astral Projection: All I can say is read my articles. I won't even try to explain it here. 6. Where did this story come from? A day dream. Half of this story was daydreamed in about the same amount of detail before I even thought about writing it. I thought people might be interested in knowing what I daydream. 7. Why did you write it other than people might be interested? Well, Jedism is very important to me and it's hard for me to write about Jedism in article form. I thought presenting the ideas of Jedism in a story might be easier and it was. Also I meant to show people myself and my past. I feel that people aren't aware of what abused children go through and if they knew more about it, they would try to help the child out. Please note that while kids are more likely to get abused, both my sister and I suffered only as teenagers. Keep that in mind when you see the signs of teenagers being tightly controlled by their parents, having few friends, seeming stressed and anti social, having poor grades and face problems. These abused people generally won't admit they are being abused, or if they do, they won't get help. Do not any force help on them, but offer them a place to stay if things at home get bad. Trust me that was one of the nicest things a friend's mom did for me.

Luke Skywalker watched Mirmo and Karen approach the ship that would take them off planet. It was so nice to see the two working together and exchanging meaningful glances. It was he who asked Mirmo to visit his apprentice when hurt. It was he that found the trembling scared and highly emotional Karen in that dark temple. It was he who helped them come together again. Mirmo had his old pride for his apprentice back and seemed to be excited as Karen to get out of the temple and hot jungle. Karen was quiet, but focused. The council meeting brought something out in her that wasn't there before. She was bolder and wiser. She had more respect for others, but seemed less likely to engage them in conversation. Soon, the ship was ready, the plan was rehearsed and nothing else remained to be done. The apprentice and master walked up to Luke to give him a final goodbye. Mirmo was the first to say something. ”œMaster Skywalker, or should I call you Luke? Take care ok? Keep an eye on that R2 Unit of yours and keep those students meditating for me.”

One would think that if one was exposed to a council, one would feel comfortable going back. Somehow, that wasn't so with me. I found myself much like the first time I stood outside of the council's door, waiting to be called in. The only difference was the increase in nervous sweat clinging to my body and the speed of my pacing. I knew why I was here and that made the situation all the worse. I had been called to be judged. I was here to be questioned about my commitment to the Jedi and the order. I was brought to see what side of the Force I stood on. All of this hit my ego, smacked my pride, and tore at the core of my being. The past events had not made me look good in any light from any angle, but I knew with all my heart who I was and with who I stood by. Yet, I feared the council had made up its mind and this was just a polite act to kick me out. My worst fear was turning from a bad nightmare to intense reality. It was a real surprise to hear the door I came in, open, shocking me out of my seizure of fright. Mirmo came walking in calmly and with his normal presence of being at ease, open minded, and peace with the world. I saw or more possibly felt the slight frown and disappoint as his eyes set on me. I gulped and remained quiet, not wanting to make the matter worse. It was very unclear of the reason behind Mirmo coming here. He very well could have come just because it was the duty of masters to be by the side of their apprentice when facing the council, but he could have had other unidentified reasons for coming. What hurt the most was Mirmo kept silent and ignored my plainly obvious fear of what was to come. I was not made to wait long, for the doors opened a minute after Mirmo came in. We both turned to face the door, then walk in, me letting him go in first. I did this on purpose to give a feeling of respect and that I knew my place, but really I was letting the council pour any emotion they had onto the first person that went in, letting Mirmo take all the unseen hits. Once in the all important room, I stepped away from Mirmo, forcing myself to present a decent image of myself. It was so hard to make myself meet the eyes of so many that were stronger, wiser, and greater than me. I wanted to look away, to leave this room, and never enter it again. But, as I reminded myself, it was my duty to stand here and hear out my fate, no matter how unbearable it was. ”œHello and thank you for coming. Master Mirmo, the council does not require you to be here. You may leave if you wish.”

Once brought back to the Jedi temple, I was quickly transported to the medical center and then stayed there for five days recovering from all sorts of wounds, both physical and mental. It seemed my excursion had done more damage to me than I knew about. An unhappy healer informed me there were over twenty different kinds of germs living in my torn up feet; some of them required painful shots to be injected into the soles of my feet. My rash, while easy to treat, had caused a light fever and was the reason behind much of my crying. An IV was inserted into my arm after a medical droid discovered I was badly dehydrated. Generally, I was ordered for five days to keep in bed, not that my feet allowed me to go anywhere, and keep quiet. Keeping quiet was not difficult at all for I had nothing to say and wanted no one around me. No one really wanted to be around me much, which worked out for me. It seemed that the Jedi were not sure how to feel or judge me, so left me to try to understand themselves better. I had withdrawn from society, becoming quiet and thoughtful. I had plenty of time to go over current events, looking at my past, trying to understand everything. I came to the truth of the dark temple. During my time healing and resting, I noticed my dreams were pleasant or nonexistent. These peaceful nights of rest healed the wounds that were caused by the last memory session. A deep peace settled into me and grew until I knew with all my heart my past would no longer haunt me. I had gone within myself to face off the source of my internal trepidation, accepted, embraced it, loved it, and released it, just as any Jedi should. It was strange to say that I was able to do something that my master had spent a total of six months trying to do for me. Perhaps, in that light, my little trip was worth it, despite all the other problems it had caused. The biggest problem my escape had caused was between me and master Mirmo. It seemed that I had broken Mirmo's trust in me, but he was too attached to me to admit that out in the open. Honestly, I wished he would. He came to visit me out of a sense of duty and I suspected that Luke strongly suggested it. Otherwise, I felt he would have not come at all. The visits were short, formal, and awkward. We had little to say other than acquiring my health and his. The look in his eyes spoke of the pain, the lack of sleep, the confusion he felt towards me and the unasked questions that burned on his thin pressed lips. Mirmo kept a certain space between us that clearly spoke how much he didn't trust me and didn't want to be there. He said nothing of further training or classes I was missing. The thought of Mirmo dropping me as his apprentice crossed my mind more than once and sent me to tears more than one night. He wasn't the only visitor or the only one at odds with me. My best friend Lyn at the temple was also confused and hurt by my quick and unexplained leave. She came to visit twice a day and loyally stayed at night until I fell asleep, but her emotions did not escape my notice. She worked hard to keep my spirits up, bringing me literature to read and paper to draw horses for her, but she too fell unnaturally silent when Mirmo came in. ”œHello Lyn, hello Karen.”

I stared at him, rudely and blankly, in utter shock. Every inch of me shrank away from that horrible, unthinkable idea. It was through mental self defense against insanity and complete loss of hope that I blocked the meaning of those words out. While I was certain he was wrong, I felt stiff and challenged. I stood up and demanded angrily how he could make such a bold, false statement. ”œSimply.”

It was dark, very dark. I blinked, but that didn't do a thing. If my hand was numb and centimeters from my face, I would have been clueless it was there, that how dark it was. The temple was deathly quiet, like someone holding their breath. I found myself hissing in pain because my feet screamed at me that there was too much weight on them. There was no point in waiting for my eyesight to adjust. Along with my feet, my throat was dry and sore, my stomach wanted dinner and I had another dull, painful headache. If there was any water in this dreadful place, I had no change of finding some until I could see. As for food, I told myself that I could survive a day or two without food. Finally, it dawned on me that I hadn't slept for near twenty four hours and my body could not stand anything more. Mirroring my early move, I pressed my back to the scratchy, mildew walk, slid down, curled up into a ball, and lost conscious thought. Some unknown time I woke up quite suddenly. There was something wrong. I couldn't put the feeling into words, but my skin crawled, my neck hairs stood on end, and every last part of me told me to run, get away and never return. Run away from what was something I couldn't answer. The room was dark, but sunlight peeked through cracks and through unseen holes, dappling the room with hints of what lay inside. The room seemed to be big, judging how my breathing bounced off the walls. Not like the outside of the temple, there was any kind of carvings or details on the walls. I stood up and took a few steps into the middle of the room. Perhaps it was because my nerves hadn't recovered from all the drama, but I found an unexplainable need to watch my back, turn in place, and nearly jump at ever tiny sound of a rodent scurrying by. The worst, spookiest feeling was in the air. The air seemed to feel alive, oozing a twisted and noxious personality, like death. Unheard, silent voice whispered in my ear no words. From the opposite wall with the entrance was a door way that was simple and inviting. I saw no trap or trick, so I went in. This room had the same feeling and looks as the other room, but still was noticeable different. The best way I could describe the room was to call it a throne. There was very little of interest in the room except for the steep, narrow stairs that lead up to a platform and on the platform was a great stone chair set high above, over looking the rest of the room. A strange fearless curiosity took over me. I slowly climbed the stairs, with easy and half unconscious of what was going on. When I reached the platform, standing in front of the mighty chair that seemed to radiate power, both immense and malevolence, I snapped out my short lived trance. ”œSit down.”

thanks all. We're getting close to the end. I really, desperately, in the most painful way, wished that I had my shoes. The jungle floor wasn't soft muddy dark ground dirt. It was, at times, a foot thick with sharp, pointy leaves, thorn covered vines, and sticks at strange angles everywhere. As careful as I was, looking at each future step, the time I reached the temple's complex my feet were swollen, bleeding, red stomps of human flesh, with the blisters pulsing in unknown pain. My clothes had semi dried to stiff pieces of cloth that had a horrible, gagging smell of the stinky, rotting river, strengthened by the hot sun of Yavin and the stench of my own sweat. Most people, when in this amount of pain, usually let their mind wonder off to some problem to keep distracted. My mind was no different, except that the ”œproblem”

My pace was fast and my mind was driven. If I wanted to be left alone and unfound I had to be fast and careful. I used several tricks like walking on roots, avoiding mud, circling around, or taking the harder path. I ignored the thousands of insets slowly draining me of my blood and causing a part of my restraint to go crazy. After the first mile I gave up wiping the sweat out of my eyes and letting the tears wash away the sting. No branch or tree stump could slow me down. My years of endlessly walking through the woods back home taught me on how to look, plan, and walk through any type of terrain. The river was a problem. It had rained for several days, leaving the water raging, nearly overflow its banks. I watched in depression and frustration, the brown muddy water rushing down. There was one long tree that had fallen over the river, but the water was at its level, sometimes lapsing over the bark of the tree. It was clear to me I would have to climb up on the tree and work my way across the bark, hoping the river would not sweep me away. My already shot nerves were not numb enough to attempt this proposed feat. I went upstream, hoping the water would lessen, or at least narrow. This was not the case. I went back and passed the original spot, searching down stream for a better crossing point. The strength of the river was reduced, but the depth was still unknown. I gave up and went back to the tree across the river. I stomped my foot hard on the ground and cursed. There was no time for this. By now Mirmo would have discovered I was missing and gone looking for me. I looked at my hands, shaking, dirty, and covered in sweat. I willed them to stop shaking and looked up. The tree was pretty big, though wet. I growled and grabbed the neared root, hauling myself up to the base. Slowly, on badly shaking knees, I stood for a second before almost slipping off and landing straddled on the rough, black bark. The impact of the hard landing took the breath out of me and my mind froze in pain coming from between my legs. I raised myself again onto my knees and tested my ability to crawl. It turned out that I could crawl. Aware of the pressing lack of time, I sped up my pace. Half way over the tree, covered in moss and slime, I looked down at the water. My pants had gotten partly soaked when the water bounced off the tree. I lowered my head, looking more deeply into the water. That is when I slipped. It was a fast movement, one that caught my breath, jumped my heart, and made me sweat even more. I hadn't fallen into the water because at the last second I dug my finger nails into the bark and hung on for dear life. The water tore at my body, swinging my legs from side to side, dragging me off the log. I kicked wildly, but the river seemed to have no bottom, nothing for me to push myself out of the water. I felt my grip give out and screamed as I plunged into the rushing river. For a moment I was senseless, due to being tumbled all over, unable to tell which way was up. Air, I needed air. I kicked at the water and stuck a hand past my head. I felt something that was not water. I forced my body to head for that direction. My head broke out of the muddy wetness around me and my mouth gulped sweat fresh air. The river grabbed me and pulled me down. No! I struggled back up and won. I kicked and moved my arms around to keep on the surface. I had no idea where I was. The river was still rushing. I looked at the banks, trying to judge how far they were from me. I gritted my teeth and did hard, powerful strokes across the current. Blindly, I reached for a root. Several went past my hand, tearing some of the skin off my palms, and one lasted about a second before snapping off. The river continued to carry me away. I gathered my strength and reached again. A thick branch was grabbed and held against my weight. Hand over hand; I climbed the branch, bracing my feet on the bank. When I was on safe ground, I collapsed panting, dripping, bleeding, and coughing water. I stayed there, curled up into a ball. I felt tears form in my eyes and blinked them away. I thought of Mirmo and why I was here. Disgusted with my momentary weakness, I stood up and looked for my bag. It was missing, along with my shoes. Deeper depression hit me as hard as the river had. I had no food, no water, and no way to warm up. The thought of my bed, of the dining hall food, and Lyn came into my head, tempting me to turn back. I looked at the river, still angrily raging and realized I couldn't even turn back if I wanted to. I could not cross that river again if I wanted to live to see Mirmo again. With a heavy, scared heart I started to walk forward, away from the river that nearly drowned me. There was one place that I knew from my extensive reading and that was the ancient pyramids made by the native people. The native inhabitants were made slaves by a sith lord, thousands of years ago. The teachers of the Jedi did not speak of the temple, but my master had once commented on them, saying few people explored them and one should not go there if one could help it. The temples were places of power, my guess the darkside, but with that said they were dry and would give me shelter from the storms that could ravage the jungle and me. I tried to find one with the Force, but my mind was too battered from the day's adventure to open up and feel the energy's warmth. I was Force sensitive, and that meant the Force would still work for me and lead me to the temple if I followed my instincts. There was one direction that led through overgrown tree roots and leafy plants that spoke the loudest to me. Knowing my recent luck had been bad, I headed that direction, hoping to find a dry place to spend the evening and night.

He picked up the letter with trembling hands to realize the worst fear of all. This was not the same letter. The letter was not a page long, not handwritten, nor signed. It was a short one, typed, and without a date or signature, but he knew who was the author. He barely had time to process the words before a loud knock could be heard from the front door. This was the knock of death. He started at the door, trembling even worse, unable to move. The silence of the house grew louder, demanding a reaction from him. It seemed fate screamed at him to answer the door. Another three, short knocks could be heard. Death was impatient. He swallowed and inched his way to the window of the door. He barely got a glance outside of the door before having the precious seconds to duck a bullet speeding past him. He crunched down; his heart was pounding in his ears and his legs nearly reduced to wiggling jelly. He didn't dare to breathe. For a few seconds there was rush of screaming silence. He strained his poor hearing for the footsteps of his killer. There was nothing. Suddenly, the air whipped and cracked a deafening scream. It took him a full three seconds to become aware it was him who made that scream. His eyes searched around for his killer before being forced to look his wet, warm side. He stared, shocked, at the blood rushing from his ribs. There was a definite sign of a bullet hole between his ribs. He couldn't feel it, but he knew without a doubt that he was dying. He didn't move, for fear of activating his pain and attracting the attention of the killer. It didn't matter. His scream had told the murder where the victim was. His breath was growing rapidly shallow. He didn't have much time. He heard the quiet steps of a person. He saw sneakers. He recognized those sneakers and nearly screamed again. He looked up and saw the face of death, of fear, of life and death. He saw what was within himself. He saw his daughter with a gun pointed at his face. He opened his mouth, but he couldn't find his voice. For a second he was full of rage, full of anger, and full of fear. This was just a second as the bullet left the barrel of the gun and ripped through his head, splattering his brain and blood all over the walls of his home. I hit the save button on my computer and pushed the chair away from the desk. I shot a glare down at my hands, feeling them betray my emotions while shaking in fear and anger. To gain control of them, I raised them to my face and rubbed my bloodshot eyes. I was tired, oh so tired. My head pounded with a dull, aching headache. I sat limp in the desk chair, unable to find the will power or energy to rise and head over to the dining hall for food. As if to scold my lack of discipline, my stomach painfully growled, and heightened the sense of being close to fainting. I looked at the strange, alien devise for telling time. There were many advances in technology that I had gotten use to, even approved of, but the simple wrist watch was one I would never give up. It was nearly time the sun to start rising according to the time piece. The shadows of the night were shortening and fading with the coming sun. The temple was at its most quiet, most calming hour, yet the feeling escaped me. In a few more hours Jedi would awake, greet each other, and then continue to live on happily. I would not. I did not look into the darkness, for I had become the absence of light. I had given up the battle. I had been broken by the last test my former master, Mirmo set for me. Again, I looked at the window, making out the dark outline of the hot jungle against the breaking clouds, streaked with a pale orange. The sky had changed from a midnight black to a deep navy blue. It was time to go. The chair creaked in the hush of the small stone room, sliding against the hard stone floor. What little clothing the Jedi gave me was tossed into a small bag meant for day treks. Water was collected from the small sink mounted in a corner and stored into a large container. Dried, tasteless, but nourishing protein bars were forced past teeth and tongue. The lightsaber that had been loaned to me was placed on the neatly made bed. A look around showed a room that was clean, but empty. I was ready. Quiet were my footsteps as I carefully crept through the sleepy halls. My mind was silent to avoid the masters picking up on my departure. Each door was studied. All corners were checked for cameras. My presence would not be traced easily or quickly. Finally, the last door, the door to freedom was pushed opened.

The next day was another weekly day off from class. These days were rather quiet in the morning, seeing how the students would sleep in; even some apprentices were allowed to get up for training later than usual. Many of the students spent time together, yapping, joking, and relaxing with their fellow Jedi. Other trainees who were more adventuress would make day trips in the near by jungle. The staff of the temple took turns each week leading a group of students on a one night camping trip. Although I had been on one of their camping trips, I preferred to go alone into the hot, stick jungle with Master Mirmo's permission, and he always gave it. For that day I decided not to go anywhere, but stay in my room and quietly work on my computer, by now I was starting to have a good grip on how to operate. My dark mood kept hold of me during the morning and through the day. I stayed in my room mostly to hide from people that would nudge my barely contained self control into a wild passionate flame throwing fire of anger and raging hormones. My master seemed to be clueless or had simply learned to leave me alone when nature was to blame. When I was not sitting in front of the screen, battling carpal tunnel and ruining my slowly fading eye sight, I was curled up into a ball, wishing to murder nature and her idea behind woman's pain. It was in the evening when Mirmo came by. I could tell the moment he walked in by his posture, the grave facial expression, the way he hesitantly walked in, and by the gift of empathy the Force gave me, that he had bad news. I waited politely for him to talk to me. ”œKaren, I have seen you do a remarkable amount of healing over the last three months, even when tested in the sorest of ways. I do not wish to break this progress, and what I am about to ask, may cause a relapse in your progress. I would not dare begin to consider this action, if I did not feel the Force has hinted this is the best course. While I shudder at the prospect of this idea, I have come to the conclusion it is the only way.”

The dining hall, with its grand old tarnished stone work that dated back several thousands of years was packed of people, not just humans, but all sorts of creatures, or what was probably rude to call, aliens, sitting down for the last meal of the day. The room was full of chatter, laughter, praises being thrown around, glares, and all the drama a person could want. The smell of various meats and plants being cooked, drifted on the slightly breeze in the air, filling my nose with delicious scents, tempting my stomach to growl with hunger. I had just spotted Lyn and would have run over to her when a calm Master Mirmo stepped into my path. I silently cursed him and his timing. ”œHello Karen.”

I have found that when I do not dream of nightmares, I generally dream of silly, nonsense events that never make sense. In rare dreams, very rare that is, I have been known to dream a solution to a problem, or find a hint to something that had been bothering me. Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely, the night before the Force class, I had dreamed of performing telekinesis. I was in shoe store that I use to work, back when I was living on my planet. I was looking at the lid of a shoe box that had been sticking up, wanting to use the Force to make the lid go down. I fixed my gaze on the shoe lid, gathering the Force around me and directing the energy on the lid, willing the lid to go down. To my astonishment, the lid obeyed my silent orders. I decided to push success and have the whole box flip over. Once again, the box complied with my desire. It was in the early morning that I woke up, filled with a strong feeling of renewed hope and an answer. The dream had been vague with details of how simple will and the Force was suppose to push me pass my current strength in telekinesis, but that did not phase me. If I could do this feat in my dream, I could not be far from reality. I went about my usual morning routine. At breakfast, I hurried over to Lyn to tell her excitedly of my aspiring dream. Lyn seemed to share my hope, if not more than me. ”œThat's really great. Let's hope you dreamed of the future, even if didn't take place at the academy. Have you told your master of this dream?”

Summary: Yoda's point of view when Luke comes to Dagobath to train as a Jedi. If you all like this chapter, I'll keep this up. If not, oh well, I tried. He could feel the boy coming, gliding through space, bringing the hope of the galaxy and a chance of peace with him. The boy carried a weight so huge; he had to wonder if the young man would be able to carry out the mission. His part in the mission was simple: train the boy into a Jedi. It was not the easiest task in the galaxy, but it was a necessary one and when pressed, he was the best being to do it. It also helped, he the only one that he knew of that could complete this part of the mission. If the Grand Master of the former Order could not train the boy, he doubted anyone else could. He reached out to the Force again; gently adjust the ship, so to correct the course. He wondered if the boy was aware of the change, but he picked up no emotional reaction. What he did sense was confusion, uncertainty, anger, fear, and pride. There was lots of those emotions and little else. This worried him some, but he held on to his hopes and put away his expectations. No need to go into this business with a pre made judgment. That was not the way he ran his order and he knew how to run an order. Or so he thought he had. The truth was he knew how to run an order in time of peace, when the light side glowed in blinding brightness, when the darkness hid in corners and rarely ventured out, when peace was to be felt all around. Perhaps he had become too accustomed to the feeling of peace, the addictiveness of happiness, and relaxed too much into the Force to fail to notice the darkness creeping up until it was too late. He had twenty years to reflect on what had gone wrong and there still seemed to be no one simple answer. There was no one person to thrown on the blame, although it was tempting to through it on the Sith. The ship had just entered the atmosphere. It was time to let go of the past and focus on bringing the boy safely to the ground. A twitch of the Force was all that was needed to blank out the reading on the ship. Immediate, he felt the strong, half controlled panic of the pilot, struggling to gain control of the ship. He shook his head, slightly smiling. The boy was wasting time and energy. The boy was effective as a baby thrashing around in its mother's arms. Another touch of the Force help guide the ship through the tree line and the boy took it from there, landing straight into a wet spot. This was would do. He wanted to make sure the boy did not get scared, or should he follow his father to in burst of anger try to leave. Once he sensed the exact location of the ship, he sighed and got up from his sitting position. It was time to meet the boy and find out the future of the galaxy as well as the Jedi. He slowly made his way through the swampy mud, ambling through the thick, old trees, noticing the snakes, lizards, and squawking birds above. This was a planet of life, a planet full of the Force, full of nature. This was his kind of world. He very well could be from the planet for the origin of his birthplace was unknown, even to him. The cloudy sky spoke of rain and the Force supported his feelings. Still, there was time before the storm and might as well give the boy time to deal with a ship stuck in mud. Soon he came into view of the ship and the boy. The kid was busy moving compartments out of the ship. Good, he thought, the boy brought much needed supplies. It was not that he could not live in the hut he created, or eat the food he found in the near by grounds, but sometimes he missed electric lamps, or cloth blanket, or for that matter, new clothing. A Jedi did not spend time dwelling on personal items, but most Jedi did not spent twenty years in a swamp. If all went wrong and the boy could not be trained, he could still get something out of the deal. ”œYou ready for some power”

A few days later I was found in Lyn's room, a small room like mine containing a bed, a desk with a computer, a lamp or two, a few attempts of her art lessons, and a dresser full of clothes provide by the Jedi. I was sitting on her bed and her on the floor, trying to copy one of my drawings of a horse. There had been a peaceful silence between us for a good ten minutes, except for the angry comments coming from her, as she struggled to get the curve of the horse's back just right. I was ignoring her, lost in deep thought and worry. ”œArg, that's it. I give up. Your animal is impossible to draw.”

”œI would like you all to get into the assigned pairs. Roan with Karen. Nield with Irini. Jem with Carl. Dack with Kit. Max with Salla.”

Days later, I returned to full health and back to classes. In the lightsaber class we were given lightsabers for the first time ever. We went through the basic moves, now with a lightsaber and started on simple sparring patterns, using the moves we had been tested on. When we fought each other, we had to switch back to the wooden sticks, to keep us from doing serious harm, as if the hundreds of bruises everyone received weren't serious enough. What made the lessons even harder was my concentration was being split between the teacher and Roan. The problem with Roan was I had a crush on him. I felt rather silly, acting like a school girl, staring at the most popular guy in school, wishing the guy would turn around and see me during lunch, but I couldn't help myself. Roan, as girls said on my planet, was hot and there was no denying that fact. His body was trim; his hair was clean and had a certain eye catching wave. His clothes, the same as everyone's, managed to show off his muscles. Days after the lightsaber test, I fought extremely hard to hide my feelings for him, but both my master and my best friend Lyn pointed out my blushing. Master Mirmo was the first to notice and comment on my crush during the mid day meal. ”œSo, my distracted apprentice, which do you think is hotter, your meal in front of you or that young man you have spent the last twenty minutes endlessly staring at when you think I am not looking?”

yes, this story has been written for a while now and there is still a lot more to come.

maybe I'll write it in the sequel I'm writing right now

opps lol. Ok, fixed. Hope you liked his past because that's the last of it in this story.

Thank you all for being such great readers! Mirmo came back in the evening with a tray, after I had a few hours of sleep. He gave me a bowl of steaming hot broth, a tall cup of tea, and some medicine. ”œI want the soup and the tea gone 'by' the time I am done with the rest of the story. No arguments.”

”œI was shocked, with my thoughts racing to see an old Jedi standing, holding my arm in the middle of the town square. I was dying to know who she was, how long she had lived here, who had trained her, and how she managed to avoid the Empire and its thorough searches to root out all the Jedi that still remained. She smiled and slipped an arm underneath mine, if to pretend she was an old, helpless lady, relying on her strong, grown up grandson to walk her down the streets to her little apartment. The apartment appeared to be a shabby, falling apart with the thin white wash peeling off, a nearly abandoned shack, suggesting the idea she was broke and hardly worth the trouble to give her a second look, unless you were a desperate thief. I was wrong in unconsciously accepting this idea. Inside, the building was much larger then the look from the front and much richer. The walls were painted a deep, rich green, the carpet was thick and expensive, and the tables were hand carved, decorated with objects, obvious transported from other, far off planets. The strange, small, seemingly fragile lady took me into the elaborate kitchen, and sat me down with a plate of food. She began her tale as I ate. Her master had been knighted during the Clone Wars, shortly before order 66 had been given, destroying everything she knew. It was by the will of the Force did she manage, during a mission, to escape from the injustice mass killing of the Jedi. For several years she laid low, running from one planet to the next, as the Empire invaded the galaxy, taking control of all local governments. She found herself amongst the lowest of beings, learning the trick of living from seedy criminals, and trading heavily on the black market. Her Jedi training had little use in a universe that had no time or care for the Jedi and their powers. She found herself one day, many years into the dark rule of the Sith, stealing from some old lady, to gain a handful of credits. She was staring greedily at the credits in her hand, when she heard the distance, but distinct voice of her former master, scolding her for descending to a level that the Jedi were suppose to fight against. In that moment she realized she had forsaken all her training and the meaning of the Jedi and swore to turn herself around and bring back some good into her life and the life of others. Using the network of lowlife, she found a pocket of resisters and underground, undercover police. She slowly joined their numbers, showing she was above the life of crime, and used the Force in subtle ways that helped the group. Being a Jedi meant being a leader, and this was true with her. She did not only do her job, but also united and strengthened the group, earning her trust and dedication. She revealed her true identity, bringing a mixture of emotions from the rebels, but when they had time to think, they realized having a Jedi was a good thing. She was the leader of the group for years and years, until she could no longer physically be part of them. She grew tired of her life and her body was aging far too fast for her life style. The group came to notice this and arranged for her to live comfortably, but anonymous on my home planet. She gratefully accepted the offer and lived for a few years on my planet before she spotted me. She instantly recognized me to be Force sensitive, but on this hostile planet and my strained family, it was better to leave me alone and not attract attention to either one of us. It was painful for her to watch me be bullied and picked on a regular basis, but still there was nothing she could do. It was proud day when she saw Luke Skywalker so boldly appear with a lightsaber at his belt, saving me. She knew nothing of him, but the fact the Jedi could once again walk freely and without fear, made her complete and at peace for the first time in over thirty years. I had finished my meal and she had finished her tale of her past, answering my many questions. Her name it turned out was Liviani and she would not give out any last name for me to research. She knew of my mission and even of Luke's academy on Yavin 4. She saw me struggle to awkwardly try to gain support for the new Jedi order and knew there was no future in my direct path. Liviani offered to show me how to raise an underground group and how that would lead to helping out the planet. I was astounded by her generosity and humble accepted her offer. Her plan took time and much tiring work, but within six months I had the stable beginning of a group dedicated at fighting crime, promoting peace, and changing the way the official law enforcers viewed their job. During this time I was learning a lot about the old Jedi order and what I was raising. In exchange of her stories, I supplied her with the history of Luke Skywalker and what few Jedi he had found. She was somewhat happy to learn a few of the Jedi had managed to live and she was even more pleased to find out many of the Force sensitive families had not been wiped out. The town within a few years began to change as the children were being taught by example of the newly formed group I had started. The crime rate had dropped an evident amount. The attitude of the people was less hostile and people were more willing to help each other rather than spread harmful rumors. It was when these changes were obvious to the common towns person, did I let the group work out in the open for all to see. At first everyone was nervous about the situation, but the town saw the benefits and the group learned to listen to the town's requests. Talk spread and soon we were asked by the planet's government to from a world wide network of our small group and to spread the idea of peace. I was honored and Liviani was proud as could be. I worked with the government for another two years. The group did quite well and is still around today. The reason why I left was due to the death of Liviani. She died of old age, being the few of her generation of Jedi to do so. Her death touched me deeply enough that I could no longer live on the planet and returned back to Luke's academy for another direction to take”

”œWhat would you like to know about me?”