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A Soldiers tale (complete)


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Title: A soldiers tale

Rating: PG-13

Rated for: Languadge, mild gore

Critique level: Low

 

This is a WWII story.

 

”œCaptain!”

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That's Fernando, I found him in a Cambodian sewage pipe. His is a tragic tale of imaginary sea creatures and crack abuse.

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  • 1 month later...

It was an interesting piece though I didn't really notice anything in the writing that made it stand out. Due to your critique level being low I'll leave it at the fact that there were a few grammatical errors that made me pause, but nothing too major. It felt kind of rushed.

 

One note that you might take into consideration when writing in the future: Flashbacks are generally marked in some way, typically by italics or completely seperated from teh previous section. I was a bit confused when you just kind of jumped into it.

 

Over all it was a nice little one-shot that got the point across.

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Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05

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