Sirvani Zsahra

A smooth black ship, whose presence was noted with some excitement on the planet below, exited hyperspace and made it's way to the garbage world of Raxus Prime. It came in smoothly, but erratically. It would seem to anyone observing that the pilot was not thinking about where she was going. The ship landed in the hanger of a large Temple, notedly toward the back of the hanger. The hatch slid open and Sirvani descended. Turning to lock up the ship, she set a password entrance, ensuring that no one would be able to enter unless they knew the password. She took a deep breath, then slowly unblocked herself from the Force. Pain rushed back in, filling her lungs with every breath she took. She had finished what she had begun a long time ago, and there was nothing left for her. Nothing that wouldn't be better off without her anyway. She knew there were some things she'd have to do here, things she'd have to face. Ignoring the Nohgri guards that gravely met the ship, at least for now, she headed directly up to her bedroom. There was something comforting about being home, despite all the pain it brought her. Once there, she went over to the black curtains that had been replaced so many times during her apprenticeship. Once again, she tore a strip out of them, then headed over to the closet. Rummaging deep inside the closet, her fingers finally grasped the coarse material of the item she had been looking for. Pulling out a simple set of black robes, she slumped down on the bed. Holding the fabric up to her nose, she inhaled, breathing in the familiar scent of their former owner. Tears started in her eyes, but she blinked them back. Now was not the time. Undressing, she quickly put the robes on and tied them with the curtain sash. Hooking her lightsaber, plus John's two, to the belt, she deposited her own clothing in a small trunk. On second thought, she unclipped her own lightsaber. Staring at it for a moment, as if saying goodbye, she placed it in the chest. Rising, she opened a drawer in a bedside stand and lifted up a hidden compartment in the bottom. There lay a holograph of two people, a human male and a Twi'lek female, holding each other and beaming at the holo-camera. Sirvani bit her lip and forced herself to look at it. She missed those times. It had been taken not too long into her apprenticeship. She noted that it was before the Dejarik Board incident when John and Andon had been connected--John still had matching eyes, and his hair was darker. Going over to the trunk, she placed the holograph inside and shut the lid. She then placed the trunk in the back of the closet, near the place she had found John's old robe. There was little left to do now. Sitting down on the bed once more, she took out a holodisk and recorder from another drawer in the nightstand. Activating it, she rose, took a deep breath, and began to speak. "Emily, first off, I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know you wil grow into a beautiful woman, and an intelligent one as well. I think you deserve to know the last bits of truth I can offer you. As you probably know, I am not your birth mother. Her name was Bekka. She knew she couldn't care for you, and since you were conceived on a stolen night of passion, asked me to raise you as my own daughter. It was for your father's sake at first that I agreed, but then I grew to love you. Know that I love you more than anyone else in the universe right now. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I can't go on anymore. My time is up, and I've gotten the feeling that I've outlived my times. "Inside this chest you will find my remaining posessions. They are yours now, should you choose to use them, or if they serve you in any way. I also leave you my ship. The password to enter is 'Qel-Droma'. It has served me very well, and will be able to serve you as well. "Finally, my daughter, a bit of wisdom. I have trained many apprentices and seen much in my lifetime. I have been exposed to both sides of the Force, although I never sought the training of the Jedi. I chose my path, and I feel there is no going back now. However, your father's dying wish is the same as mine: Do not be afraid to study the Force as a whole. To understand it, you must learn of both sides, and make your own decisions. The Force will be strong in you, and will teach you endless information if you delve yourself fully into it. We want you to broaden your mind to it's highest capacity, and be all you can possibly be. "I love you Emily. I always have, and I always will." EDIT: 7/31 Shutting off the holoporjector and placing it on top of the trunk in the closet, she took a deep breath. One last thing...no, two. First, she headed down to the main slave quarters. There, she sought out the oldest Nohgri, who was the leader of the slaves. "I will no longer be coming back," she told the Nohgri. "I am transferring your ownership completely to Emily. If any other Sith need a place to stay, welcome them in, but this Temple now belongs to her, and you are to serve her with the same dedication you have served your masters before you." The Nohgri bowed low. "As you wish, Mistress." She nodded curtly, then returned upstairs. It wasn't hard to find Emily. Her Force-presence had been shining out brightly ever since Sirvani had arrived, although the Sith Master had kept her own presence hidden. She found the girl in her room, idly lifting small objects into the air with the Force. Sirvani smiled and went in. "Mother!" Emily's cry was full of joy as the two embraced. But Emily suddenly pulled back. "What is it?" Sirvani's smile lessened. Emily had caught on. "I...I just wanted to see you one last time," the Twi'lek said slowly. "I...Emily, I can't go on anymore. You're the only thing I have left to live for...and you don't even need me." "Mother, don't say that!" Emily replied, alarmed. "Of course I need you! You're my mother. I don't want to be an orphan." "Em...I'm sorry...I really am. But if I were to just stay here with you...I would feel cooped up. Like I'm wasting my talents. I tried to go out in the world, become a part of the Sith Order again. I trained an apprentice, and met up with people I knew from before. But nothing staisfied me. I'm empty, Em..." She paused, not knowing how to continue. It had to be hard for Emily to hear this, but she deserved to know the truth. "Ever since he died...I'm nothing. I can't just pick up the peices of my life and keep going. There are no peices left, and I'm too old to start over. I can't go on being someone else. Everything I was...was him. Was because of him. Was as a response to him." She hesitated again. "I feel as if I've lived too long. Overstayed my time. You'll be fine. The Nohgri will answer to you, and you will find all you need here. Once you have decided you're ready to go out into the world--once you're old enough--I left you a message and some things up in my room. "I don't want to abandon you Emily, but I have no choice anymore. I never was a good mother--" "Don't say that, Mom," said Emily fiercely. Sirvani gave a sad smile. "But I know it's probably true. I love you Emily. I always have, and always will. I'm proud of you." She gave Emily a strong hug and kissed her cheek. "Don't go Mom," came Emily's smothered voice. "I have to," Sirvani replied. Finally, they let go, and Sirvani backed out of the room, her wet eyes never leaving Emily's. Brushing away the tears, she headed to the roof, to the very same place where, all those years ago, her life had been saved and rebirthed. Where she had become the person she was today. Kneeling down, she let the tears flow freely. "I didn't understand why you had to leave me, John..." she said to the wind. "You left me with nothing. I am nothing without you. So I am going to do the only thing I have left to do...I'm going to join you." For a brief moment, she reached out to Tethyn, telling him she was sorry, but that it would never have worked out between them anyway. Then she ignited John's lightsabers. Turning her face upward, she swung the blades through her midsection. With her last ounce of strength, she threw the two blades off the roof into the forest, and...slowly...smiled and slumped down. With that, Darth Anathema, Sirvani Zsahra Skywalker, was dead.

She felt lost. Drifting in the Force, she felt and heard Tethyn's departure. But she felt empty...like she was missing something huge. Last night, she had not been thinking about it. She had simply acted, trusting that he would fill the void. And now she was let down. It was not the answer she was looking for. Perhaps it was just because she didn't feel that Tethyn loved her. It was not the same as it had been. She was unfulfilled. She had everything anyone would want--a successful career, a newly Lorded apprentice, a daughter, a home, and now even a new lover. But she wasn't happy. So she left. Pulled herself from the Force, and went to her ship. She didn't think about the coordinates, just put them in and left the planet, certain that she wwould probably never return.

"I'm sure you won't, Tethyn...and I don't plan on it either," Sirvani replied with a wicked grin. She pulled him down toward her and with that, the two explored the vastness of the universe, new secrets being unlocked, and the Force weaving between them, forming a bond that would not soon be broken unless by design of the pair. Somewhere in the midst of their time together, Sirvani thought she saw John's familiar features pass over Tethyn's face... When the Twi'lek woke the next morning, it was chilly. Sometime during the night the candles had blown out, and an early-morning feel hung about the temple. Sirvani stretched and smiled over at Tethyn, then retrieved her clothes and got dressed. Re-lighting the candles, she sat down and began to meditate. There was much on her mind now, and she wanted to ponder it while immersing herself in the vastness of the Force.

As he spoke, something inside her jumped. "Then you've learned the lesson I've had to teach many times over," she murmured. "Sith take what they desire..." With that, she gave in to him, lifting her lips to meet his. As they kissed, the intellectual part of her mind took notice at the difference between kissing him and John, but she savagely shut off that part of her mind. It would get her in trouble, make her regret her actions. And tonight, she didn't want to be stopped. At least for now, she would act on instict and give into her baser desires. Her right hand snaked up through his hair and she kissed him again, a raw feeling exploding inside her.

Sirvani noticed a change in his demeanor. She placed a hand on his broad chest. "What is it? What's troubling you?" She paused. "When men start to say things that don't make sense, I know something is bothering them..." Moving her hand to his face, she drew his attention away from the fire to meet her eyes. "Tell me how I can help you."

A struggle raged within her. The mention of insanity drove her mind, ironically, back to sanity. A flash of the stone on her finger drove her mind to ask her what in the name of the Force she was doing. How had she felt when John had cheated on her? She didn't even want to be reminded. And now here she was, tempted to do the same thing. It's not the same...he's dead... Biting her bottom lip, she felt a tear well up in her eye. She blinked it away, glad that Oblivion was not looking at her face. He can help you. He'll make you feel better than you've felt in a long time. It'll be good for you...after all, you deserve some happiness after all you've been through. The last thought made sense to her. The rules were broken now. He wasn't coming back. But then another arguement grabbed hold of her. Torin had desired her as much, if not more than, Oblivion. She had refused him again and again. Perhaps it was that Torin lacked the control Oblivion seemed to be demonstrating. Perhaps it was that Torin was arrogant and untamed, rather than Oblivion's cruel yet polished facade. Somehow, this was different. Part of her screamed at her, wondering how this could be her decision. Warning her that she would regret it if she allowed this to continue. But for once, she ignored the voice. She had been silent for a long moment. Now, she spoke. "I couldn't say. Insanity has never come to me in the form of myself..." Her shoulder tingled where he was playing with dark fire. "So I've been haunting your dreams...why me? If I recall, there was another...you spoke of her on Kamino." She wanted proof that he was different, that she had value to him because of who she was and because of what made her unique. His raw lust wasn't enough for her, flattering as it may be. She was a woman, and so naturally, was looking for something more.

As his purpose was revealed, part of her was unsurprised. She hadn't guessed it earlier, but he was a man, after all...and each man was just like the next in that respect. At first, she wanted to pull back, and turned her head the opposite way as his lips began to caress her neck. But a shiver of pleasure ran through her at the same time. How long had it been now? She had been through so much...and he would be able to comfort her, to satisfy her. The only thing that bothered her was his motives. Pulling one hand free, she reached up to his face and drew it parallel to hers. "Is this merely for your intellectual advancement? Your desire to be like the Sith Lords of old?" She didn't vocalize it, but wondered if any part of him held any actual desire for her. Was she just the most available woman around, or had he sought her out specifically?

She wondered at his grasp on her hand, but pushed the curiosity aside. He had always been hard for her to read. Even now, when he was the most relaxed than she had ever seen him, his eyes were unfathomable. As he earnestly asked if she still thought he was the same man John had trained, she looked deeper into his eyes. She thought of all the times she had spoken with him, seen him act, and knew the answer in her heart. "No," she said softly. "Before, you were young and, forgive me, rather naive. But you have matured in your knowledge of the Force, and I respect you for that. I do not hold you to your past. You are not the man you were then." It was a lesson she should have learned before this. And indeed, she had struggled with the past before. It had a way of haunting her, dogging her steps. But she had had to learn that life went on, even when it seemed it shouldn't. There was nothing one could do to change the past--it had happened, and now was set in stone. But it didn't have to mean that people were the same way. They changed, grew, and became wiser. The same had happened to her. And to the man beside her.

She smiled at his toast. She never knew what to expect from him. He seemed...excited, passionate. "To self-improvement," she echoed. She had never drank a toast with tea, and it amused her. "You know, it's good to see you again, Tethyn. It never seemed like we got to know each other. Perhaps we can start again...understand each other this time." She paused. It was warm in here, a sharp contrast to the chill setting in outside the Temple. She slowly removed her cloak, exposing a significant portion of her deep red skin to the candlelight. "I've always felt it a shame that we've had our disagreements."

"Perhaps your power is not greater than mine, but your word is much more respected," Sirvani replied, drinking her third cup of the steaming tea. She swallowed the warm liquid. "Circumstances change us. Mold us. It is inescapable. I know I have been changed for good...if not for the better. Although I feel I have improved myself..." Her voice trailed off again. Sitting here just talking to someone was something she hadn't done in a long time. Just a friendly chat. Not planning world or galaxial domination, not the talk of a student and a master. Just talk.

Sirvani gave a small smirk and a twinkle of humor sparkled in her eyes. "I'm glad I passed your test." She didn't think she had ever felt him this relaxed. It was good for him. He seemed so tense all the time, keeping up his mysterious front. "In all honesty, I am glad. You are a much better and more powerful Sith than I am. In teaching him, I was reminding myself." She paused. He had a soothing feel to his presence that made her soften up. Perhaps it was the afteraffect of John having trained both of them, but there was an unmistakeable effect he had on her. What he said had always mattered to her, and his words always made her stop and think. She remembered a time when he had been openly predjudiced against non-humans, and it had hurt her more deeply than she liked to admit. But then she remembered other times, like on Kamino, where he had been the only person she could turn to.

She pondered what he had said. The news that Montar was overthrown was interesting. She hadn't heard of any activity from him, but he was not a weak man. This new Dark Lord must have been either very strong, or very tricky. "So you are feeling misused," she said after a moment. "You've gained power, and now you are afraid to lose it. It is natural. The only step you can take forward now is to become the Dark Lord yourself." She paused. She knew Oblivion very well, and had known him a long time. He himself had pointed that out. She knew he desired to learn more about the Force, to gain greater understanding of how to use and manipulate it. And, deep down, every Sith knew that the ultimate view into the Force came in the position of the most power. Even the Jedi knew that. "If this new Dark Lord doesn't respect your wisdom...she is a fool. The trinity was put in place to guide our Order in the best possible paths. To perpetuate darkness throughout the galaxy. If she is a fool, then perhaps she is not suited to her new title..." Her voice trailed off. "Of course, I don't even know who she is." She took a sip of her replenished tea and raised her eyebrows at Oblivion.

She watched as he poured the cups, then drank his hastily, listening to his question. The Force seemed amplified in this place, the focusing point of thousands of Sith going back an equal number of years. She reached for the cup and took a sip. The steaming hot liquid had a curious taste to her, but felt good slipping down her throat. She drank some more, then finally turned to face the other Sith Master. "No," she said, "I do not know. You said you wanted to discuss something with me, and I can sense that it is something very important, but other than that, your purpose remains hidden from me." Finishing whatever liquid was in the delicate cup, she set it back down and waited for Oblivion's next words. She felt at ease for the first time in a long time. The surroundings gave her a feeling of untapped power rushing beneath the surface--a feeling she often had of herself.

She was proud of him. He had proven himself worthy, if only even in these past few minutes. She smiled at his last question. "That always seems to be a question. In fact, you have several options. The Link provides transport to anyone stranded on any world. Or you can use my comm systems to order a ship and have it delivered here. Or...there is a speeder in the cargo hold. You can wander the planet, searching for an abandoned ship." She shrugged. "If you want to take it, you can." She gave him a nod. "See you around the galaxy, then, Torin." With that, she left the ship, grabbing a cloak on the way out. As she walked, she dusted off the short top and skin-tight cut-off pants that she always wore and put the cloak on. The sun was going down and the planet was getting cold. It was only a few minutes before she arrived at the temple. Making her way into the inner sanctuary, she found Oblivion meditating. The mood was somber, yet peaceful, and she sat down cross-legged beside him. She said nothing, but waited for him to speak his mind.

"Well then, Torin," Sirvani said after Oblivion's disappearance. "Is there anything else you wish to say before we part? I do not know when the Force will have our paths cross again." She didn't really know what to expect from her--now former--apprentice. It was interesting to see the affect of his new title on him, and with that, she wondered at what his reaction would be. He had remained uncharacteristically reserved in Oblivion's presence. However, she wanted to part with Torin on friendly terms; that is, as much as 'friendly' could be applied to inter-Sith relations. For that, she offered him the chance to speak to her one last time, before their paths dispersed. Then she would go speak with Oblivion.