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New Hutt Seizes Power on Nal Hutta?

 

14 bodies found in abandoned spaceport.

 

Nal Hutta: Authorities are downplaying a gangland style murder in an abandoned spaceport on Nar Shaada. The ashes of two alleged Hutt crime bosses were found, along with the bodies of 12 other sentients. Three were killed by blaster fire and the remains of the others, covered in stun webbing had authorities baffled. Reports indicate the bodies of the 9 remaining victims were found according to a police report "with a look of mingled pleasure and horror, their midsections completely pulverized; and has lead officials to write off the cause of death as a crushed pelvis in all nine cases." A heart drawn in blood on the wall has gotten some people to call this the "Love Day Massacre" and has sensationalized the incident.

 

Heir and business associates to the slain Hutts, Lady Trolloparga lec Prissinisus has vowed to do whatever can be done to hunt down the killers though she hinted it was an internal matter among the Hutts and outside interference was unwise and unnecessary. Assuming control of their business enterprises, including a controlling stake in Guarja Shipyards, she has since been aboard her space yacht, dubbed the Primrose and could not be reached for further comment.

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  • 2 months later...

The flash of cameras illuminated a man drab in some sort of ceremonial yet plain robe. This man strode across the platform, as reports gather about him, it was the typical atmosphere of a press conference about to happen.

 

Deton looked straight ahead as he counted down the seconds in his head. As it was time to start he began speaking with a voice that instantly commanded authority.

 

”œAs you all well know I called today's press conference. I feel that the citizens of the Empire, should be able to know exactly what is going on in their government. As such I shall present the following.

 

As it stands or economy is of course stable, our military expenditures have gone down some what, into focusing our might on key worlds. Fret not, the might of the Empire still protects all of its member world both here in the inner colonies, and out toward the unknown regions. Why just recently, our Imperial soldiers fought and died, to deny a rebel excursion into our space.

 

Since then, I and my trusted group of advisers have come to a decision. We the Empire, has catered to the Galaxy at large for far to long. We have allowed all to benefit from the wealth and prosperity of the Empire. Yet not all people are content with an Imperial government. They take from Imperial hands that which is ours. They use our resources and IN RETURN.... in return, they turn around and sting us. It reminds me of a story. One where a poisonous creature called a scorpion needed to cross a river. So he approaches a frog to ask him to cross the river, and the frog responds, that he did not wish to do it, as the scorpion would sting him. Eventually the frog relents and promises to take the scorpion across the river. They were midway through the river when the frog felt the sting of the scorpion. Naturally the frog shrieked. ”œYou fool, you have killed us both. Why did you sting me?”

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Two months later I hit the control room of CPS. Talk about a slog fest.

Former Emperor Rustic <--

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A paid reporter logs onto Holonet giving a report of massive violence on Onderon. Though the feed is sketchy and done by a second rate source, the recordings of Iziz in flames and under seige by Mandalorian forces is clear. The reporter goes on, quietly, and not without a nervous look over his shoulder, describing in detail a deal reached by the Republic's Onderin Starlik to give the capital city of Iziz over to Mandalorians hiding out in the jungle in hopes of gaining an ally in war against the Empire.

 

The reporter goes on, his voice trembling to talk about oppression and a foreign rule, being sold out, and then how it escalated into a full scale civil war- encrouching it in terms of the planet being taken over by a malignant occupier. Reports came that the Queen of Iziz launched some official action given the military action, but silence has come since and muddled reports of the queen vanishing into hiding shortly thereafter.

 

The report ends with a vicious denounciation of Republic policies for selling out their planet, leaving them to a vicious race of aggressors, and the plight of their lost rights and freedoms under Mandalorian tyranny, calling on the galaxy at large to appeal for justice on behalf of the people of Onderon.

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

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"...and that's what Wiggles the Bantha was stopped from its murderous rampage." The news official said with a slight smile into the camera.

 

"In business news, Solaris Enterprises announced today the company would be reorganizing itself within the coming months. Ever since the terrorist attack on the Gateway Station two years ago, the company has struggled with downsizing and external competition in its effort to survive. Now, in a move that many see as its last hope, the company has announced that along with new leadership, the company's image and business plan/assets will be revamped."

 

"Unfortunately, the announcement may be a few months too late. Just days after the Emperor's announcement regarding supplies and trade to worlds sympathetic to the rebellion, many economists have warned of changes within the economic climate. Many companies, having had long time trade deals with several of the blacklisted planets, are now being forced to look elsewhere. What's more, companies with headquarters, factories, or other facilities on the blacklisted planets are also feeling the effects. In short, the announcement from Solaris Enterprise's may be too little, too late..."

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  • 3 weeks later...

An add for a recently opened armor shop brushed up its chops and broadcast a wide signal that would have reached thousands of people.

 

A random person in plain looking clothes approached what looked to be a simple chair in the middle of a plain white room filled with light. The man approached the chair and immediately a bout of crazy graphics spread out from the walls and armor racks shot out along with them. In less than 5 seconds the walls were covered with a thick coating of Durasteel and the area about the man was filled with a working ambiance as any number of metallic sounds reigned in from the background

 

"Welcome to Ahzinger Armors... The newest and best place to buy armor in Nar Shadaa. We have little in the way of material diversity, but our craftsmen are top of the line and if such supplies were provided the need would be met.

 

For instance, If you were looking for a set of advanced composite armor made out of gold we could do it, but you'd have to supply the gold. Anyway, there are a handful of smiths on call and our service is rather top notch; so, if you are looking for a gauntlet, a breastplate... Or any other class A armor work come on down to Ahzinger Armors and give us a drop by."

 

Then, as the man walked of screen a broad banner flashed across the screen emitting a flaming red insignia on it. The Words were "Ahzinger Armors", but the logo was quite eccentric and not very easy to describe. Probably the best way to read it was a composite of many different shapes that formed what looked to be an animal head. There was nothing Mandalorian in the ad and even the animal head had no resemblance to former Mandalorian symbols.

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<< Look at the bottom of the Character Sheet >>

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"Trent," said the on the scene reporter McPhail Starkiller as he winced from the pain of a loud menace, "Over my shoulder you will notice the Sith Temple." McPhail yelled into the microphone like a reporter filming a story in the middle of a hurricane.

 

"We're standing here approximately five miles away from the Temple, but I cannot hear my advisors due to the horrendous noise radiating from outside the Temple. All reports indicate that an unmarked ship flew overhead a few hours ago seeming to have dropped a piece of debris."

 

McPhail jammed his free finger in his ear while trying to remain in the frame of the wobbling camera.

 

"It is unclear what all of this is about, but rumor has it this is another terroist action initiated by the so called New Republic."

 

"Uh? What was that?" McPhail said, unable to understand Trent. "This is unbearable. From the Sith Temple, McStarkiller out."

 

The picture faded away and viewers were taken back to the news room and Trent, the average news anchor.

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There are rules here, after all. This isn't Vietnam.
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  • 3 weeks later...

Archeology Dig uncovers Jedi Findings on Coruscant

 

Senate Building Reveals Lost Jedi Treasure Trove

 

Coruscant: Under Imperial Authorization, Dr. Isobel Saint and his team were granted access to the Galactic Senate Building last week after a Janitorial Serviceman stumbled across entrance to a section of the former Senate Building during his rounds. After brief study by Imperial Agents, Dr. Saint was allowed to investigate the findings before a team would be allowed entrance. Under Imperial supervision, the dig was allowed to get under way.

 

Dr. Saint was quoted at this moment saying "This is a great day for any scientist. Since Coruscant was freed from The Alliance's harsh stay, we've been uncovering numerous digs and sites related to the Jedi and the former Republic. Without our beloved Emperor, this would not be possible."

 

Only yesterday, did the dig uncover anything of interest. Along with fallen comrades of the former Republic and Imperial Senates, ancient Jedi holocrons were found. One particular one is believed to have belonged to a Jedi Master by the name Sifo-Dyas, the unknown Jedi who is believed to be behind the Clone Troop forces who saved our beloved galaxy from Separatist rule nearly a century ago. Upon this holocron, a riddle was left, which Dr. Saint and his team have yet to decipher. We've been allowed to publish the riddle in hopes that the Public can aid in it's ciphering.

 

Beneath the Seat of Power within the Silicate Valley, lives the creation of a Jedi's vision...

 

To Save the Galaxy was his mission from the Beginning. But upon his Death, did his Dream become villainous...

 

Now his creation lies within the Belly of the Eternal Jewel, without a Side to chose, his Mission forever forgotten.

 

Now, as Dr. Saint believes, this creation lies somewhere on the silicate floor of our beloved Coruscant- as the Eternal Jewel; or Galactic Jewel as it is called and Seat of Power suggests. But Dr. Saints warns that no one should go looking for it should they decipher the riddle, as this creation could be anything- viral or biological - as the riddle suggests a creation of war meant to save the Galaxy. And we have all seen what the Jedi's creations of war bring upon us.

 

Instead, report to your nearest Imperial station with your findings on the Riddle and allow the Imperialists to do their job. You will be paid well, and your safety will remain in the good hands of the Empire. All hail the Emperor!

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  • 1 month later...

A bright advertisement plays over whatever important information was previously playing about the foretelling doom impended by the great Civil War.

 

An announcement is heralded by the entrance of a drop dead gorgeous Blue Twi'lek dancing in front of the camera to the music in the background of the advertisement.

"Come one, Come all to the craziest most luxurious hot spot in all of Naboo -- Club Azure!!!"

 

Then, as the words of the announcer conclude, the dancer does a flourish in front of the camera that brings her right hand down and exposes a bit of her right leg as she comes back in to blow a kiss at the camera... "see you there" she says quietly into the microphone as she goes to the back of the studio and pulls up what looks to be white curtains.

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[For information on Vihk 'Ordo' Ahzinger, there is a link at the bottom of my character sheet]

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  • 2 weeks later...

Galactic War Heating Up

 

Fighting spreading rapidly across the galaxy.

 

Coruscant: The scene at Coruscant has been tense following a pitched battle raging across the city-planet. Word of an attack on the Imperial Spire by Jedi and Republic Commandos has leaked out, coupled with the massing of a fleet overhead. While parts of the world seem unconcerned, business proceeding on as usual despite the pitched battle overhead, the situation in the Imperial capital signifies the drama unfolding over the rest of the galaxy.

 

The Galactic Republic and Galactic Empire have battled, with reports of heavy fighting breaking out of Krayiss II, Ilum, and beyond. Experts familiar with both sides of the conflict question the sustainability of such prolonged conflict and the ability of each government to remain steady in the face of it. While reports are showing some initial signs of Imperial victories at Krayiss and Ilum, the battle of Coruscant is heating up. The fact that the Republic took the fight to the Empire is placing a strain on them as well.

 

The massive assaults seem to be signifying a change in the galaxy. Reports of mobilizations along Imperial and Republic lines are only matched with reports of Jedi and Sith supporters of each rising to the lead in this. Word is several crime syndicates and trade organizations are using this chaos to situation themselves in a position of power regardless of the winner. Several political experts agree that this means change is afoot, but in what way, it's too early to tell.

 

Famed trader-prince and industrialist, Kheldar vos Correlli, caught briefly while touring the Corellian Engineering Corporation's Corellian headquarters, only had a few words to say before taking off into space to attend a conference (details below).

 

"I think we're seeing some massive changes ahead. I'm keeping my ear to the ground and not taking any sides on this. I'm usually a betting man, but on this I'm not placing any wagers other than this: something has to... something will give soon. What that means for the galaxy abroad is hard to say, or what form it will take either, but mark my words, I sense some strong winds stirring and when they pass, this galaxy won't be the same again."

 

Famed Industrialist Gathering Resources for Immense Deep Space Salvage Project

 

Details unknown. Speculative project drawing in massive resources for secret work.

 

Corellia: Famed trader Kheldar vos Correlli was reportedly meeting with several trading partners regarding an unknown deep space salvage project in the Unknown Regions. The businessman once specialized in salvaging and repairing damaged ships of both sides during the height of the Galactic Civil War. Word is there is some new find that's piqued his interest, causing him to shift his resources and summon experts in a variety of fields for study. An official for KVC Enterprises, speaking on the condition of anonymity could only give the following statement:

 

"We can't talk about what we found yet as its still being investigated, but this will capture the attention of a lot of people once we unveil it. Secrecy is important at this point, so I don't want to say anything prematurely."

 

Despite this news there are reports that Imperial and Republic investigators are each looking into this matter independently on the grounds of "Galactic security tnterests" and related matters, though so far haven't found anything conclusive yet. We will have more on this story as it develops.

KVCsig.jpg

 

The monarch of madness has returned!

 

[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since March 2002.]

[2nd in Command of the Lords of Hate since March 2002.]

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  • 2 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

DEATH STAR LOCATED!

Rumors of a final showdown for the galaxy?

 

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Unknown Regions: Reports are coming in across the galaxy that an abandoned Death Star has been located. The details of its discovery are unknown at this point in time. Speculation links it to a deep space recovery and salvage project by KVC Enterprises or possibly a construct left over by the latest extra-galactic invasion, though no official word has come down on where and how this super weapon came to be.

 

At this point in time, it's hard to tell if the Death Star was a remaint of an old Imperial project, a left-over from a fleet of the monstrosities from the old Sith Lord Hale Akturus, or some other fell project. Either way, word has reached sources on both sides of the galactic power fence. The recent Battle over Coruscant has already wracked the galaxy following the collapse of a Super Star Destroyer over the city-planet and shaken the galaxy. Now, if either side is able to possess this awesome weapon, it will surely decide the fate of the galaxy.

 

Vinzer de Toquville, a professor of Galactic Political Science at Coronet University speculates this will likely head off a change for the galaxy.

 

"For ages, there's been a tug-of-war between the Republic and the Empire for rule of the galaxy. I believe the tensions have indeed reached their breaking point. It's hard to say what effect this super weapon, if the rumors of its existence are true will have, but all parties will, by necessity, need to pool their resources into retrieving it. This could all too easily bankrupt one faction. To the victor, I believe, goes the spoils, and with it, the Galaxy."

KVCsig.jpg

 

The monarch of madness has returned!

 

[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since March 2002.]

[2nd in Command of the Lords of Hate since March 2002.]

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  • 2 months later...

--OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE OFFICES OF THE IMMORTAL BLACK SUN ORGANIZATION--

 

BURN NOTICE EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY ON FORMER BLACK SUN AGENT SASORI SOREN.

 

The afore-mentioned man has been marked as a traitor in accordance to the lawful tradition and practice of the Black Sun. All intelligence, reconnaissance, or surveillance derived through him is unreliable and should be disregarded. His services should not be sought or trusted. Should he be discovered alive, any bounty hunters are legally sanctioned to kill the afore-mentioned in the most expedient manner possible.

 

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OOC: A burn notice is an official statement issued by one intelligence agency to other agencies. It states that an individual or a group is unreliable for one or more reasons or purposes. This is essentially a directive for the recipient to disregard or "burn" all information derived from that individual or group.

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  • 1 month later...

BREAKING NEWS!

 

Where in the Universe is Ziost???

 

A two headed alien comes on the screen to Holonet watchers across the galaxy. "During the recent battle over the Death Star, a collousal battle between Imperial and New Republic forces has ensued. There is no telling the outcome of this battle, as it has had many interesting turns. If you have followed the battle over the past few months you know that it has been a tit-for-tat battle. But recent reports are indicating that the end is near. Especial with Ziost being blown up!"

 

The other head gasps with amazment. The first one continues. "Yes thats right ladies and gentlemen, and anything inbetween. Our sources implicated one Quintus Song was at the controls when this mass murder was ensued. He killed close to a million of his own Republic comrades, and far less Imperials when he decided to blow up this planet."

 

A flash of Song's picture came onto the screen came on. MASS MURDERER/TRAITOR/BANTHA FODDER blinked across the screen.

 

"SO if anyone was planning on going to this back water planet" The second head chuckled. " You may just want to cancel your travel plans, as its now rubble."

 

The first head continued "Stay tuned for more breaking news!"

Chameleon.png

 

 

There are worse things than rusty spoons.
No... No there isn't.
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  • 3 weeks later...

Private owner and CEO retires and leaves company in good hands CEO change signals new era for Darkwatch.

 

 

By Alliston Saper

Staff Writer, Holonet News

 

 

With the tycoon known as Dagon recent exit as chief executive of Darkwatch, an era for the company has ended.

 

Darkwatch has suffered through the pitfalls of strategic shifts however it has been at the forefront of many technology opportunities, and analysts say Dagon leaves it an profitable, and stable, company.

 

Under Dagon's leadership, Darkwatch has become the most efficient and effective privately owned company second only to KCV enterprises. It has done this by merging its many assets adopting a single corporate structure. It also approved a far-reaching health-impact goal calling for the increase of quality as well as cutting edge medical care by 25 percent in the poorest regions of the galaxy. In that proposal was in increase in proper Obstetrics & Gynecology training and care through out the galaxy under the Anakin Skywalker clause. This goal was achieved this year, two years ahead of time.

During Dagon's tenure as CEO, the organization has experienced its greatest period of financial growth and made many significant advances, including:

- Creating the Neogenesis, as a division of Darkwatch.

-- Introducing quality of care initiatives such as Get With The Guidelines, which encourages hospitals to improve care and outcomes for patients by following scientifically proven treatments and guidelines;

-- Collaborating with the Empire to develop a goods and services program,

-- Preparing tens of thousands of security personnel to work in hot spots around the Galaxy, as well as employing veterans out of service.

-- Developing new science that's the foundation of many programs and initiatives, and launching several strategically focused research programs.

However it is important to note that Darkwatch is a privately held company and does not publish much information about internal affairs. Needless to say the success of Darkwatch has made Dagon the second most successful businessman in the galaxy.

 

About Darkwatch

It's an organization that has three focuses, security, weapons manufacture and precision combat resolution, the pursuit of which is guided by principles of honor, integrity, and the preservation of civilian life. The lesser known subsidiary of Darkwatch, Neogenesis, provided cutting edge medical care across the galaxy, especially in areas that normally don't have access to advanced medical care. It's assets and influence includes Hapes, Kuat, substantial facilities on Kamino, Silence, Gromas, Artus, ten percent of Black Sun's profits. Darkwatch has operations on a number of planets, including Mechis III. Clone development continues unabated on Naboo, Trulalis, and Kamino. Kuat shipyards continues production as normal.

 

Handing over the reins

Darkwatch is being turned over to another man of mystery. Still this man is rumored to be the owner of the highly successful Galactic gun shop which offers custom made goods to anyone who asks. No doubt the new surplus of Phrik and Cortosis will go a long way to boosting sales in that department. As an added bonus Darkwatch would have another location to have custom made materials made for its security personnel. Another benefit of this merge is the partnership between the Green Moon enterprise, known for its stim packs and close works with IA. They are also well known for their dedication to supplying militaristic factions with bacta and other medical items as well as their focus to building cloning centers on worlds spanning the galaxy. This will help span the influence of both groups as they combine their resources in order to better serve the galaxy.

 

Of course one of the most exciting aspects of the merge is that the Kuat shipping yards will now also be backed by the power of Bornaryn Trading which took control of Industrial Automaton. This is good news as now cutting edge developments made by the merger in security and medicine will be more accessible to the common populous in the form of droids and accessories on ships. As statement was made by the owner, who for his own personal reasons asked to not have his face or name shown.

 

”œWe are VERY excited about this recent turn of events. The possibilities this has opened up have quite honestly become unlimited. Of course one of our goals is to stay in neutral ground. Though a lot of our contracts are with governments. We wish to make sure that all people from all walks of life, can get the goods and services they want or need with out government interference or ban.

 

We now have the power and the means to safely and securely ensure our business operations in the fields of medicine, security, and improvement in the quality of life.

 

  We have truly become an equalizer. The less fortunate will now have the means to get the same quality of health as those of greater fortune. Those with out the manpower can buy whole mechanic armies, or have the experience of seasoned veterans on retainer for a price. All to help secure their borders and protect their interests. Local militia and planetary governments now have the means to quality weapons, armor, and supplies to supply their security forces with. In short we have evened the playing field to those who have the right price in terms of security, and equipment/weapons manufacturing. We have tip the scales to equalize a fair chance at quality healthcare, so that the weak can become strong, the sick can become healthy, the poor can maintain their family unit.

 

Our innovations our cutting edge, and our goal is simple. We shall be the champion of civilization with this merger. We have become the fully realized Benediction Firebrand or BF for short. Why BF? Because we want you to know we are YOUR best friend.”

Slicer.jpgMy sig is my profile...

ship

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  • 2 weeks later...

Through unofficial channels, a call goes out to the galaxy for individuals experienced in law enforcement. Little details are given on what the purpose of this call is, but interested parties are encouraged to visit Coruscant and seek out the man with no face.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

wookies.jpg

 

 

It's that time of the season! The season where every woman in their right mind wants a pure 100% Wookiee pelt to keep them warm! You (The hunter.) Provide us with a animal skin, we pay you! Simple as that! Take as many, or as few!

 

Bounties:

 

Alive (To strip the fur properly): $10000 credits

 

Dead: $2000

 

Fur Ruined will be deducted automatically.

 

Special Circumstances: $25000+ (Albino, stiped. Imitations will be burned with you inside the pelt. And other attractions as we see fit.

 

 

Contact your Galactic dealer today! This has been a Public Announcement. Communications are open 24/7.

 

But we are not responsible for any loss of limb, life, or equipment.

Chameleon.png

 

 

There are worse things than rusty spoons.
No... No there isn't.
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If you ever wanted a miracle.

 

 

It hurts to think about. On that tragic day a bright light lit up the sky and millions of lives ended in an instant. Now you miss the laugh, the feel of your lost love one, the sound of a voice. It hurts. It hurts to know you will never experience their way of laughing, loving and living ever again.

 

People of Coruscant we are Neogenesis and we wish to make the pain stop. We have been hit by yet another tragedy. One more in a long list such as the collapse of the Coruscant Banking System as rebel alliance's miscalculation in planetary shield control.

 

We come before you today, not as a small medical company but, as a company that is hurt by the scar left across the galaxy by the recent civil war. We come before you today not to ask for your business but to offer you a chance. A change to regain loved ones lost.

 

We are a highly innovative company on the forefront of science and medicine. We are the answer to making that pain go away. For today we announce our RESTORATION OF CORUSCANT. A pilot program to our very ambitious RESTORATION OF THE GALAXY. We are putting lives back together one clone at a time. With a single genetic sample we can bring loved ones back, memories intact. You CAN be reunited with your lost ones again. Further more if you know some one who was killed during the attack you can still submit a sample even if you don't know the person. We have been given permission to relocate those unable to pick up their from where their lives ended. Wouldn't you like to give someone the chance to live again?

 

If you or some one you know was killed during the New Republic invasion of Courscant contact us today! We will do what the survivor's foundation and the Empire were unable to do. We will put lives back together. We will be accepting and processing all requests for free. Why should we take advantage of your pain? It is ours too. Lets make it stop together!

Slicer.jpgMy sig is my profile...

ship

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  • 2 weeks later...

A broadcast signal was sent out of the lush green planet Kashyyyk. It showed the residents enjoying peaceful commune with their brothers and the enjoyment of the walking carpets that lived there, but all of a sudden crimson light shot from off camera, flooding the right side of the picture with an auburn flame.

 

A small black droid could be seen in the corner of the shot, but the picture zoomed back to reveal roughly a hundred or so droids in what looked to be standard black durasteel plating, marching on the peaceful patrons of Kashyyyk with no intent on ceasing their hellish crusade.

 

Roars of pain and agony filled the signal for a few seconds as Wookies and animals alike bellowed out in unison. Then, the words, "Who is responsible for this catastrophic event taking place on the beautiful planet of Kashyyyk?" appeared in long stringy yellow letters that streamed up and away from the viewer as if the words were flying away.

 

Then the words, "The Jedi" followed, in the long yellow letters, but with a stern boldfaced typeface that really captured the strength of the message.

 

The oration continued however in another long series of words that followed the same pattern. "Want to know how you can stop this catastrophe? Find the Jedi and stop them!"

 

Then, the picture closed on a Wookiee baby having his hair burnt off while his mother cried in the distance. Then the footage faded to black and clipped off without another word.

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Disclaimer: The following is graphic and emotional. Read at your own Risk.

-ORDER NOW FOR JUST THREE PAYMENTS OF 88.99! I REPEAT, ORDER NOW WITH YOUR EMPIRE APPROVED CREDIT CARD AND YOU CAN GET NOT ONE WOOKIE-WOW (Made FROM THE FINEST OF INTERWOVEN WOOKIE PELTS, HARVESTED FROM THE YOUNGEST OF WOOKIE CHILDREN) BUT THREE-

 

*A pale, attractive young anchorwoman appears, looking happily excited*

 

"We interrupt these messages to bring you this important update. It would appear that there is an execution of the Naboo Royal family currently underway by our beloved Corsec! Let us tune in!"

 

*The screen fades to a sign reading: PART 1*

 

In the background, a great banner of Corsec hangs, surrounded by insignias and passages from their lawbook. Beside on all sides of it stand uniformed agents, dressed in Corsec's finest, with faces covered by black stocking caps. Before them kneels a weeping girl, about the age of fifteen. One of the disguised agents approaches the camera while withdrawing a large, shimmering sword with one hand, and holding a piece of paper, scrawled with writing. A female voice, Terra's, came from the disguised, sword holding figure, sounding dull with its Corrilian accent. First came a sting of passages from the lawbook, condemning the acts of the Royal Family.

 

”œAccording to our findings, the Royal Family of Theed has been found to be consorting with the enemies of the Core worlds. This girl, the youngest of the family, shall read aloud her convictions and plead to them thusly guilty.”

Terra

To the Death...

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The scene opens with a smiling Old Woman, reading a prepared script timidly. She is backlit by cheery pinkish lights.

 

  • Chapter II
     
    The Final Solutions

A brief slide show commences, showing very graphic images, of the destruction of her planet. Bodies stacked in the streets, gungans floating face down in pools of blood.

 

She begin's haltingly, ”œMy family has been responable for this destruction, it started with the day our predecessor was born, her name was Padme, Amildala. She secured a peace, at a cost. And now the fruits of her arrogance are beginning to show. The core has come under threat by the terrorist organizations harboured by those on Naboo. It has been the newly founded CoreSecs responsibility to hunt down these criminals and terrorists.”

 

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Ca'Aran

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PART III

This post is Rated R.

 

Ar-Pharazon's fine gray coat was ironically embroidered with the silver of the royal family of Naboo, but stained heavily with the blood of its people. His stolen helmet was picked from the body of a fallen Mandalorian warrior, and reflected such a style. The evil Sith paced back and forth, eagerly examining his doomed, royal prisoner. The young queen of Naboo was stretched out between two steel pegs. Her smile was gorgeous, but it showed too many teeth.

 

”œA good evening to you, my young queen. A good, gracious evening, and splendid.”

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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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The following contains actual graphic footage of recent massacre at Naboo. Viewer discretion is advised.

 

 

The need for divine intervention...

 

*An image of massive amounts of destruction and chaos are interrupted by a cut to a different image. In it a blonde hair corsec agent covered in blood poured coffee upon a weeping mother. The scalding liquid burning the poor desolate woman.

 

Splattered security guards and volunteer army members were seen strewn about marble walls and beautiful columns in an art museum.

 

The shot panned out to the burning and destroyed city, as well as a ruined huge power generation facility.*

 

A low quiet voice came on and began to speak over top of the images.

 

"There is a time where we the people have to say no more. When the government fails in its duty to provide adequate security of its population it is our duty to do it ourselves!

 

We at Neogenesis again come to you, not as a medical company but instead as individuals who are hurt at the senseless slaughter of our fellow brethren in the galaxy. Truly we are all one people, and we do not wish to benefit from your pain or ours. We simply wish to help.

 

Given how well RESTORATION OF CORUSCANT program, and in light of this recent tragedy. We will begin the RESTORATION OF NABOO project. This will derail our RESTORATION OF THE GALAXY however, unless we have your help.

 

Donations to our cause will allow us to build more facilities which in turn helps us help you. We shall bring not just Coruscant and Naboo but the galaxy back to its glory. The planet Nespis Vii has opened its doors to those unable to put their lives back together after rejoining the land of the living. Will you help too?

 

Help us heal the galaxy. If not for our sake, than for yours.

 

------

 

A second commercial came on shortly afterwards.

 

"Hello we at Neogenisis are offering for a limited amount of time a chance to be insured for life. Well LIFE AFTER DEATH. Thats right for a mere 500 credits a month you can insure yourself and your love ones against death itself.

 

If you fear being murdered by cops, government officials, Jedi, Force users or any other dozens of brutal ways, we have what you need to give you peace of mind.

 

Call now!

Slicer.jpgMy sig is my profile...

ship

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  • 2 weeks later...

Special Bulletin:

 

The origin of this message is encrypted due to the tender nature of our business deals, but rest assured information will be disclosed to you when or if you agree to join us.

 

Wanted

 

Employees who are looking to get their hands dirty; employees and associates who aren't afraid to cut corners.

 

We have several business deals that may be aggressive, or stern, but we do our best to push through even if those deals seem a bit shady.

 

If you are interested, please contact this comm number.

 

(The number flashes on the screen for a moment or two and then vanishes)

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GALAXY-WIDE RECESSION HITS

 

Galactic Associated Press

 

The fallout of the galactic civil war continued today as the galactic economy shrunk significantly, with accompanying rises in inflation and depression of the job market.

 

Analysts predict the trend to continue for at least six months, in which small-to-mid-sized companies and organisations are expected to struggle to remain afloat amidst rising costs and a paucity of funds to recruit employees.

 

The coming month is expected to be particularly crucial, and will make- or break- hundreds of thousands of companies across the galaxy.

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http://www.themire.co.uk-- being a veracious and lurid account of the goings-on in the savage Mire and the sootblown alleys of Portstown's Rookery!

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...and the Jedi vigilante and Blademaster is believed to have caught up with the infamous hunter over the station. Last reports show no sign of any bodies or ship debris from the explosion so far, but at this time both parties are missing in action, presumed dead until evidence is found otherwise, closing one chapter of this galaxy's history.

 

Kheldar vos Correlli to Step Down as C.E.O. of KVC Enterprises

 

Famed Industrialist Retires, focusing on family.

 

Corellia: A spokesman for esteemed industrialist, trader, and merchant Kheldar vos Correlli issued a statement that the famous captain of industry was stepping down for his role as C.E.O. of KVC Enterprises, which included several smaller holdings over the years, from trading and shipping routes up to the Corellian Engineering Corporation where its owner started out as a starship engineer before rising as one of the galaxy's most prominent traders.

 

Releaseing a holo recording from Kheldar itself, Kheldar was shown with his wife and two daughters whom had long dropped out of the galactic spotlight.

 

"While a quiet and rather domestic life after years of traversing the galaxy or working at the hub of a massive web of commerce and information trading seems rather... well, mundane, life does have a funny way of catching up with one." With a whistful smile, Kheldar laughed and continued.

 

"I'm taking this time to drop out of the galactic spotlight for said reasons though, family first and all that," he stated. "The CEC, and various enterprises can more or less look after themselves. Even the Last Call can more or less manage itself," he stated, refering to the popular Coruscanti bar recently leveled once more in an incident some are blaming on "space gnomes" according to some sources. "I can't say I'm disspearing from this galaxy forever, but I'm also leaving more of the day to day stuff to other hands. One cannot stay on top of meddle in affairs forever, and it's foolish to try- Running a business like I have, or even if say one's risen to the ranks of the Dark Lord of the Sith or Emperor, lead the Jedi in a rallying defense for good and truth, pulled of daring casino heists of great infamy, run business empires and crime syndicates, one eventually reaches the point where enough is is enough. I can't say I've done all of those things myself, but milestones as they are to look back on, one has to look for one's future and what really matters.

 

"It's been a fun trip, but as for me, I'm firing up the Silk Road with the family and we're doing our own thing. Running a business takes its toll just like anything else, and you have to know when to step aside for younger blood that's driven and passionate about what they do and have a real care and investment in the business. One reaches a point where it's going thru the motions and at that point you have to ask why you're doing it and what you've hoped to gain.

 

"I can answer that last part- the destination may have been reached and peaks scaled, but even if one is merely leaping from summit to summit or working up and down valleys, it's truly the journey that matters, the game, the challenge, the thrill, and working with the other players in said game. But sometimes, you have to put aside the thrill, the challenge, and said game."

 

The holo-recording pans back, showing Kheldar made it from the bridge of the Silk Road. Over Kheldar's shoulder, his protocol droid, Cyrion, can be seen.

 

"Cyrion, fire up the engines and head on out. We may not have a schedule to keep, but time is money." With that, he looks back to the camera, eyes giving a faint twinkle. Hugging his wife closer, he continues, giving one last speech before the holo-recording fades out.

 

"Later Galaxy. May the Force be with you, and may you find your endeavors to be.... profitable."

KVCsig.jpg

 

The monarch of madness has returned!

 

[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since March 2002.]

[2nd in Command of the Lords of Hate since March 2002.]

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LEAKED DIPLOMATIC CABLES:

 

Authentic Cables: What would we do without Supreme Commander Cadio Sikaot to provide me with a nonstop source of gutless protests to complain about? To get right down to it, there are few certainties in life. I, for one, have counted only three: death, taxes, and Comdr. Sikaot doing some larcenous thing every few weeks. Many people aren't aware of how footling his insults are, so let's present a little breakdown. First off, the point at which you discover that he will fail if we unite is not only a moment of disenchantment. It is a moment of resolve, a determination that he says that children should belong to the state. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. He's a huge waste of humanity. He's as corrupt as it gets. Given the very real threat of Comdr. Sikaot violating all the rules of decorum it is essential that we get people to see through the hollowness, the sham, the silliness of his superficial mind games.

News Sources: I hope it will not disappoint you to learn that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Comdr. Sikaot distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions. Beastly, acrimonious rumormongers can go right ahead and convict me for saying that this is a problem long overdue for debate, but History, acting as the goddess of a higher truth and a higher justice, will one day smilingly tear up this verdict, acquitting me of all guilt and blame. He should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by barbarism. At least then he'll stop trying to declare a national emergency, round up everyone who disagrees with him, and put them in concentration camps on Korriban. Comdr. Sikaot ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: Comdr. Sikaot's theories have an unsavory historical track record.

Fact: Comdr. Sikaot's canards were designed from day one to crush the remaining vestiges of democracy throughout the world.

Fact: A "respected" member of Comdr. Sikaot's coalition of malign bribe-seekers and jaundiced kooks recently said (to closely paraphrase), "Comdr. Sikaot's vices are the only true virtues".

In addition, Comdr. Sikaot writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that he constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that if irreligionism were an Olympic sport, Comdr. Sikaot would clinch the gold medal.

 

Hoth Network News: There isn't a man, woman, or child alive today who thinks that what I call pestilential prigs have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us, so let's toss out that ridiculous argument of Comdr. Sikaot's from the get-go. Now that I've had a chance to cogitate, let me see if I have Comdr. Sikaot's argument correct: He seems to be saying that he does the things he does "for the children". Well, Comdr. Sikaot can believe whatever he wants, but we all know that the truth is that from the perspective of those inside Comdr. Sikaot's coterie, insurrectionism resonates with the body's natural alpha waves. The reality, however, is that you should never forget the three most important facets of his smears, namely their repulsive origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Although the Gospel According to Comdr. Sikaot says that the existence and perpetuation of fascism is its own moral justification, I believe that his legatees often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. Comdr. Sikaot refers to a variety of things using the word "phoneticogrammatical". Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, he's saying that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, seeing him succeed at diverting us from proclaiming what in our innermost conviction is absolutely necessary has left me with a number of unanswered questions””questions such as "Why can't he simply enjoy the fruits of his own labors and let other people enjoy the fruits of theirs?" For a variety of reasons, some strategic, some ideological, some attitudinal, and all of them wrong, the most uncivilized knee-biters I've ever seen delude and often rob those rendered vulnerable and susceptible to his snares because of poverty, illness, or ignorance. Comdr. Sikaot's ploys are the low-hanging fruit on the rotting tree of imperialism. That conclusion is not based on some sort of raving, immoral philosophy or on Comdr. Sikaot-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that the reason Comdr. Sikaot wants to transform our whole society to suit his own raffish, foul-mouthed interests is that he's absolutely reprehensible. If you believe you have another explanation for his coldhearted behavior, then please write and tell me about it.

KKVC: Comdr. Sikaot is so accustomed to lying about everything that he doesn't even stop to consider the consequences of his lies. At the risk of sounding a tad redundant, let me add that every time Comdr. Sikaot tells his flacks that the sky is falling, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question. It is past time for us to drag him in front of a tribunal and try him for his crimes against humanity. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly. I've never bothered Comdr. Sikaot. Yet Comdr. Sikaot wants to foment a radical realignment of industrialized economies. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? To summarize what I've written up to this point, Comdr. Cadio Sikaot doesn't believe in the right to free speech, except for people who agree with him. You know I'm right. Now what are you going to do about it? Relative to my prior writings, this letter evinces an increased stridency in my commination of Comdr. Cadio Sikaot's plaints. This is because Comdr. Sikaot's mind is hermetically sealed against fresh air from the real world. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and treat the blows of circumstance. If you think that Comdr. Sikaot has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Comdr. Sikaot wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance such as that he likes thinking thoughts that aren't burdensome and that feel good. That's why Comdr. Sikaot's manifestos are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive””even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, Comdr. Sikaot uses highfalutin terms like "chlamydobacteriaceae" and "antianthropomorphism" to conceal his plans to let smarmy nudniks serve as our overlords. In this scheme of his, a mass of grandiloquent words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outlines and covering up all the details. We become unable to see that there are two types of people in this world. There are those who peddle fake fears to the public, and there are those who think outside the box. Comdr. Sikaot fits neatly into the former category, of course.

The pressures and stresses that Comdr. Sikaot's pals undergo lead them to scrawl pro-masochism graffiti over everything. But let's not lose perspective. Comdr. Sikaot is stepping over the line when he attempts to make serious dialogue difficult or impossible””way over the line. There is no contradiction here; even though his actions would be entirely risible if they weren't so self-righteous, you mustn't forget that he plans to sweep his peccadillos under the rug. He has instructed his deputies not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Comdr. Sikaot knows he has something to hide.

At the risk of repeating myself, I must reiterate that careerism is a plague upon us all, a pox that will likely not be erased in the lifetime of any reader of this letter. To Comdr. Sikaot, however, it's merely a convenient mechanism for casting dissent as treason and criticism as espionage. Although the proper definition of "electroencephalographic" is hotly disputed, some of my acquaintances express the view that his subalterns lie about their expostulations, and then, when we're all convinced that no harm will be done, they glorify meretricious, suppressive, murderous governments as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities. Others express the view that Comdr. Sikaot's tactless cringers wring their hands with angst at the thought of someone like me sounding the bugle of liberty. I am prepared to offer a cheer and a half for each view; together, they paint a sufficiently complete picture of Comdr. Sikaot to warrant a full three cheers.

Let's just ignore Comdr. Sikaot and see what he does. His henchmen don't want us to substitute movement for stagnation, purposive behavior for drifting, and visions of a great future for collective pettiness and discouragement. That'd be too much of a threat to Stalinism, exclusionism, and all of the other muzzy-headed things they worship. Clearly, they prefer invading every private corner and forcing every thought into a tasteless mold. The erroneous things he says about me are sometimes entertaining, oftentimes sad, and frequently utterly biggety, but that's a story for another time. For now, I want to focus on the way that it's easy for us to shake our heads at Comdr. Sikaot's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should take a strong position on Comdr. Sikaot's expositions, which, after all, organize a whispering campaign against me. It's easy for us to say, "Comdr. Sikaot's arguments don't even prove his point." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because if we don't do something soon, Comdr. Sikaot's wily zingers will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people. By providing a carefully filtered, a carefully slanted, view of what is happening in the world, Comdr. Sikaot is able to trick people into believing that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. No, scratch that. Let me instead make the much stronger claim that I recently checked out one of Comdr. Sikaot's recent tracts. Oh, look; he's again saying that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Seriously, though, Comdr. Sikaot likes to compare his declamations to the venerable documents that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them.

CORUSCANT TONIGHT: What self-indulgent thing is Comdr. Sikaot going to do next? Acquire public acceptance of his noisome wheelings and dealings? Suppress our freedom? Judge people by the color of their skin while ignoring the content of their character? In any case, I apologize for giving Comdr. Sikaot these ideas, but all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of his rash projects. They are not a cause; they are an effect. I doubt we could beat this into his head, but he ought to realize that the most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. Unfortunately, Comdr. Sikaot tends to utter so much verbiage about officialism that I can conclude only that he used to maintain that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life. When he realized that no one was falling for that claptrap, he changed his tune to say that we're supposed to shut up and smile when he says unmannerly, loud things. Comdr. Sikaot is unmistakably a logorrheic liar, and shame on anyone who believes him. Comdr. Sikaot attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality characteristics. For example, if you're shy, he calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, Comdr. Sikaot says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does he say such things? To turn that question around, what is it about our society that makes lawless deadheads like Comdr. Sikaot desire to inaugurate an era of unbalanced, oppressive simplism? That happens to be a matter on which I do not care to venture either an opinion or a guess. I do, however, feel that I should state that our battle with Comdr. Sikaot is a battle between spiritualism and escapism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that objective consideration of Comdr. Sikaot's haughty machinations compels the conclusion that I resent being pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, and numbered. More emphatically, in his quest to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions he has left no destructive scheme unutilized. When we tease apart the associations necessary to Comdr. Sikaot's thrasonical manuscripts, we see that Comdr. Sikaot believes that we should cast our lots with overbearing enemies of the people. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one.

Media: It seems ironic that those who think that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold should think again, given that my only wonder is, How can he be so headstrong? To ask that question another way, why can't he simply enjoy the fruits of his own labors and let other people enjoy the fruits of theirs? The most appealing theory has to do with the way that in a recent tell-all, a former member of his lynch mob writes that "Comdr. Sikaot is unconstrained by conscience". Those are some pretty harsh words even when one considers that Comdr. Sikaot presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. He is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors what I call improvident, jejune fomenters of revolution. And here we have the ultimate irony because the time has come to choose between freedom or slavery, revolt or submission, and liberty or Comdr. Sikaot's particularly obdurate form of favoritism. It's clear what Comdr. Sikaot wants us to choose, but the main dissensus between me and Comdr. Sikaot is that I believe that Comdr. Sikaot will fail if we unite. He, on the other hand, contends that it's okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the annoying hands of the most snooty televangelists you'll ever see. I'm merely suggesting that Comdr. Sikaot's quips are not on the up and up. Now that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true. And that's what writing this sort of letter is all about. It's a way to reinforce the contentions of all reasonable people and confute those of the worst sorts of contentious, intrusive good-for-nothings there are.

 

Cadio Sikaot EXPOSED: Galactic Leader or Intergalactic Lecher?

 

*Obtained from security feeds from within the Kat Nargal Resort, are seemingly endless video feeds of the galactic leader looking at a young girl with excessively erotic looks on his face.*

He gently took ahold of her small hand and led her out of the conference room.

MOANS OF NO-CONFIDENCE VOTE RUMORED. SENATOR FROM CORUSCANT CERTAIN.

News: Formal investigations on behalf of the Galactic Alliance are in the early stages to evaluate the so-called OBNOXIOUS SEX ADDICTION of Supreme Commander Cadio Sikaot. Gungans are outraged.

Reports from Anonymous Senator from the Sith Order: I am writing to let you know that I have a concern regarding Comdr. Cadio Sikaot's adversarial Ponzi schemes. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Comdr. Sikaot and his subtle but venom-spouting attempts to sue people at random. Of course, I'm generalizing a little here. But that's only because his minions all look like him, think like him, act like him, and concoct labels for people, objects, and behaviors in order to manipulate the public's opinion of them, just like Comdr. Sikaot does. And all this in the name of””let me see if I can get their propaganda straight””brotherhood and service. Ha! I understand that Commander. Sikaot should show some class, but if one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that prudence is no vice. Cowardice””especially Comdr. Sikaot's incomprehensible form of it””is. I wish I knew when he was planning on unleashing his next volley of inhumane, vainglorious précis. Alas, I'm no Nostradamus. Nevertheless, some of my predictions have come true in spades. For instance, I predicted ages ago that Comdr. Sikaot would reduce social and cultural awareness to a dictated set of guidelines to follow, and look what happened. Even scarier, I predicted that Comdr. Sikaot would etiolate his rivals. Although most people doubted that prediction when I made it, they neglected to consider that Comdr. Sikaot once said that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. Oh, please. I'm just glad I hadn't eaten dinner right before I heard him say that. Otherwise, I'd probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that Comdr. Sikaot never stops boasting about his generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, his claimed magnanimousness is absolutely chimerical, and, furthermore, Comdr. Sikaot is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, his willingness to legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity sets a new record for brazenness. Comdr. Sikaot's abhorrent form of conformism is like a forest fire. Once it is started, none can set bounds to the resulting conflagration. The only option is to give you some background information about Comdr. Sikaot. While doing so won't put a stop to conformism, it will demonstrate decisively that Comdr. Sikaot claims to be fighting for equality. What he's really fighting for, however, is equality in degradation, by which I mean that Comdr. Sikaot is good at stirring his stooges into a frenzied lunacy of hatred and vengeance. Doing so blinds them to the fact that he looks down upon the rest of us. From Comdr. Sikaot's perspective, we are blind so he must tell us what to see; we are deaf so he must tell us what to hear; and we are mute so he must tell us what to say. Such views may fool unimaginative trolls, but I feel that prodigal brownshirts are more susceptible to Comdr. Sikaot's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that some people are responsible and others are not. Comdr. Sikaot falls into the category of "not". At the risk of sounding hopelessly devious, when I first became aware of Comdr. Sikaot's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how Comdr. Sikaot fails to comprehend and practice the teachings of his religion. More precisely, he conveniently forgets his religion's messages of peace, love, compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness””or, at best, misremembers them as an edict to gag free speech. A day without Comdr. Sikaot would be like a day without loud, materialistic officialism. Surprisingly, the courts and our elected officials are way ahead of Comdr. Sikaot in embracing this simple fact.

However true that is, what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with him stating that everyone who fails to think and act in strict accordance with his requirements is a sinful saboteur. That prevarication incited his compeers to dispense outright misinformation and flashlight-under-the-chin ghost stories. What I call unpatriotic, semi-intelligible meanies reacted, in turn, by destroying the natural beauty of our parks and forests. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in expansionism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. Keep that in mind the next time you catch Comdr. Sikaot converting houses of worship into houses of sectarianism. He holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City””sterile obstacles to progress who dress up Comdr. Sikaot's profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism. Sikaot wants us to think of him as a do-gooder. Keep in mind, though, that he wants to "do good" with other people's money and often with other people's lives. If Comdr. Sikaot really wanted to be a do-gooder, he could start by admitting that some hypocritical mountebanks actually avouch that truth is whatever your grievance group says it is. This is the kind of muddled thinking that he is encouraging with his cop-outs. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as tendentious nincompoops. Let's face it: In my observations upon incendiarism, I have expressed no opinion thus far of the mode of its extinguishment or melioration. I will note, however, though I still have nothing to propose, that I wonder what would happen if Comdr. Sikaot really did pervert the course of justice. There's a spooky thought. Comdr. Sikaot holds onto power like the eunuch Sith fools of the forbidden ruins of Byss””sterile obstacles to progress who delude and often rob those rendered vulnerable and susceptible to his snares because of poverty, illness, or ignorance. No one likes being attacked by the worst kinds of obscene exponents of particularism there are. Even worse, Comdr. Sikaot exploits our fear of those attacks””which he claims will evolve before the year is over into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks””as a pretext to break down traditional values. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that Comdr. Sikaot is not the only one who needs to reassess his assumptions. Think about impetuous, incorrigible ideologues. They too should realize that if you think that nugatory, unreasonable euphuists are easily housebroken, then think again. If Comdr. Sikaot thinks his taradiddles represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. He seems incapable of understanding that we must doubtlessly tackle the multinational death machine that he is currently constructing. Does that sound extremist? Is it too blinkered for you? I'm sorry if it seems that way, but that's life. We have come full-circle. Be patient; I won't ask you to take that on faith. Rather, I'll provide irrefragable proof that there are some simple truths in this world. First, when I see Comdr. Sikaot giving his implicit approval””and in some cases explicit approval””to expand, augment, and intensify the size and intrusiveness of his polity I think that whenever he gives a speech, he is always careful to sidestep the issue of how behind the amazing degeneracy of the modern stage and motion picture is a solid wall of autism with his name written all over it. Second, there are none so blind as those who will not see. And finally, by allowing him to grasp at straws, trying to find increasingly wicked ways to reduce us to acute penury, we are allowing him to play puppet master.

Unidentified Republic Commandos: If you think that everyone with a different set of beliefs from Comdr. Sikaot's is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell then you're suffering from very serious nearsightedness. You're focusing too much on what Commander Sikaot wants you to see and failing to observe many other things of much greater importance such as that the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior. In the simplest of terms, people often get the impression that egocentric radicals and Comdr. Sikaot's foot soldiers are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that in a tacit concession of defeat, Comdr. Sikaot is now openly calling for the abridgment of various freedoms to accomplish coercively what his mendacious asseverations have failed at.

Senator from Outer Rim: I want to fight scurrility and slander. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Why do Sikaot's galactic sympathizers want to ingratiate themselves with Commander Sikaot? The obvious answer is not necessarily the correct answer. Rather, one needs to consider the fact that you might have heard the story that Comdr. Sikaot once agreed to help us keep our courage up. No one has located the document in which Comdr. Sikaot said that. No one has identified when or where Comdr. Sikaot said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, Comdr. Sikaot has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Comdr. Sikaot's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. If Comdr. Sikaot's blowsy, feebleminded reportages became more widespread, it would spell the ruination of this country. Can you really blame me for suggesting that every morning Comdr. Sikaot asks himself, "How can I fool the masses today?"? Even leaving aside the thorny matter of divining the varying proportion of his connivance, acquiescence, foreknowledge, exploitation, and incompetence in borrowing money and spending it on programs that introduce a zeitgeist of extremism to our society, we can state the following as an established fact: Mankind, and other aliens too, need to do more to take advantage of a rare opportunity to take off the kid gloves and vent some real anger at Commander Sikaot. Understand, I am not condemning the Galactic Alliance for not doing enough; I am merely stating that the time has come to choose between freedom or slavery, revolt or submission, and liberty or Comdr. Sikaot's particularly blathering form of tribalism. It's clear what Comdr. Sikaot wants us to choose, but he insists that he has no choice but to judge people by the color of their skin while ignoring the content of their character. His reasoning is that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. Yes, I realize that that argument makes no sense, but Comdr. Sikaot should just quit whining about everything. But it goes further than that; if Comdr. Sikaot were to prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries, social upheaval and violence would follow. It is therefore clear that boosterism doesn't work. So why does Comdr. Sikaot cling to it? Comdr. Sikaot doesn't want you to know the answer to that question; he wants to ensure you don't rake him over the coals for turning once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard.

Brooks: Let's get reasonable; Comdr. Sikaot uses good motives as a cover for evil ones. In other words””and let's say this plainly, clearly, and soberly so that no one can misinterpret Comdr. Sikaot's true intentions””it's our responsibility to serve on the side of Truth. That's the first step in trying to take away as many of his opportunities for mischief as possible and encourage others to do the same, and it's the only way to induce him to perceive his errors of perception and judgment and make him realize that he has no sense of personal boundaries. Some lewd maggots have raised objections to my prognoses but their objections are all politically motivated. Comdr. Sikaot insists that he is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of oligophrenic grafters. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands he perpetrates. One could make a strong argument that I leave open the question of the extent to which this discussion could be applied to crass gadflies. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, Sikaot's love of adversarialism, rampant sexual encounters, and McCarthyism gives a new, perverse dimension to the old adage, De gustibus non est disputandum. Now that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter so let me corroborate it by saying that the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to summon up the courage to mention a bit about indecent slanderers such as Comdr. Sikaot, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I hope not, but then again, what I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Comdr. Sikaot's line that he is cunctipotent. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that we must open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them if we are ever to reinforce what is best in people. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must definitely pursue because Commander. Sikaot is thoroughly inconsistent in his views. On one hand, Sikaot insists that he should replace our natural soul with an artificial one because "it's the right thing to do". But on the other hand, he favors using mass organization as a system of integration and control. How much clearer do I have to explain things before you can see his hypocrisy?

Mimban Diplomats: I, for one, profess that Comdr. Sikaot seems to have trouble constructing a grammatically correct sentence. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that I have no set opinion as to whether or not he can out-reason merciless euphuists but not anyone else. I do, however, unmistakably suspect that if Comdr. Sikaot were to get his greasy hands on the levers of power he'd immediately pit the haves against the have-nots. If you don't believe me then consider that even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that his writings are merely a stalking horse. They mask Comdr. Sikaot's secret intention to intensify race hatred. If Comdr. Sikaot's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, he wouldn't consider it such a good idea to make today's oppressiveness look like grade-school work compared to what he has planned for the future. Comdr. Sikaot once tried to prime the pump of fascism. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you honestly don't understand how Comdr. Sikaot operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that he ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Anyhow, I guess I've run out of things to say, so let me just leave you with one parting wish: Together, may we renew those institutions of civil society””like families, schools, churches, and civic groups””that put Commander Cadio Sikaot's ill-tempered, neo-abusive publications out to pasture. This man should be thrown in jail. He's a liar and a feeble-minded adulterer.

”œBoth his dead eyes and gross mouth reeked of sex.”

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  • 2 weeks later...

The Hutt company logo pulsed on the screen for a few moments and a Zeltron appeared along with a rather bulky charcoal colored Hutt.

 

It was a prerecorded message that was recorded in a fairly indifferent section of the Coruscant Upper levels, days before Kaldena went back towards Nar Shadaa and Dordjooba went to the Senate.

 

The pair of them seemed fairly regal in repose, but behind them were people milling about without much notice.

 

"Hello," Dordjooba said, his voice booming pretty loudly even with the other noises breaking from the crowd. "It has come to my attention that there is a deficit of reasonable businessmen in the world. People who would do 'anything' to perpetuate the success of a businesses assets regardless of their complications."

 

"I am here to recruit from the best of the best, or even those that think they are the best of the best in order to build my business stratagem."

 

Dordjooba quieted for a moment and attention was drawn intently on the Zeltron who leaned over, exposing a beautiful set of little silver chips.

 

"Each of these is an invitation," she said, looking deeply into the camera's lens. "A few will be sent out after this message is broadcast and some before, but a few won't be sent until we know what or who we are dealing with." Kaldena noted with a short nod.

 

"In order to procure yourself one of these leftover lucrative invitations to the Hutt company recruitment session, you must commit a substantial act that proves your commitment to your career and station as the employee you would be in our establishment." Kaldena said, motioning to an explosion off in the distance.

 

"Do something worth our time and you may yet get one of these."

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