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Corellia


Darth Jade

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“Aren’t you supposed to be dead as well?” Raia asked suddenly, remembering what she’d overheard when she’d first met Raynuk right after he’d awakened in his tomb.

 

“No one’s looking for me,” Jaina replied to the Dathomiri girl quietly. “Tirzah, Emily, Raynuk… they’re all I have left.”

 

“What about that Delta fellow...the one that sent me the baby Ronto?” Tirzah volunteered, but fell silent after her mother gave her a withering look.

 

“‘Delta’?” Raia asked, turning to Tirzah. “Ca’Aran? Did he kiss you too? What’s a ‘Ronto’?”

 

A horrified look spread across Jaina’s face as she stared at Raia. “Delta… the kiss… I thought that was all just part of the dream. That actually happened to you?” Her impulse, had her physical state allowed it, was to embrace the girl, but given her confinement she settled for a brief touch of the Force on the girl’s mind.

 

“No. It happened. He kissed me and told me that’s how babies were made,” the girl answered matter-of-factly.

 

“Afraid that was the fallout of one of Emily’s failed lessons.” Raynuk interjected into the conversation, having finished giving 2V instructions. “Raia was asking too many questions about love and relationships and stuff, so Emily sent her to talk to Delta because ‘he knew all about that’.” He added with an amused smile.

 

“He is a strange man,” Raia continued. “It made me angry for a long time, but I still helped him when he needed it on Dathomir…” She grew quiet as thinking about helping him on Dathomir also directly led to the incident when her own mother had disowned her.

 

Raynuk was quick to pick up on Raia’s sudden silence, knowing that even saying the name of her home planet likely meant thinking about what had happened there. And in that quickness, he wrapped his hand around hers in silent comfort. He had known Delta had been present for the destruction of Raia’s connection to her family and clan but still had yet to get the full story from the girl.

 

Tirzah’s eyes kept flicking back and forth between the conversation happening in front of her as though she could somehow ascertain more detail if she stared harder. “What happened on Dathomir?” she asked blithely. There was some undercurrent in the room that she could not quite put a finger on, but Raia’s sadness seemed apparent and her attachment to the older girl had become quite secure given their time spent together in the hospital.

 

Raia opened her mouth a few times before finally being able to form the words. “I...was sentenced to die alongside Delta because my own mother would not speak for me. My clan was especially distrustful of outsiders and once they found out about Furion’s mark…” she took a deep breath and clutched Raynuk’s hand tighter, closing her eyes for a moment before finishing, “I was no longer a member of the clan and marked as a danger. Ca’Aran told me the quickest way to die when they burned us. He seemed broken, but still found a way to be kind.”

 

The girl shook her head before shifting subjects, “I still don’t know where babies come from…”

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Jaina’s eyes softened as Raia’s story came tumbling out. There was a bubbling undercurrent of darkness in the girl’s words, a deep hurt that ran farther than she would let herself say. The fact that Delta had been a friend to the girl was a kindness, but the point at which her story broke away told Jaina more than if she had simply stayed silent on the topic. “Raia, come here,” she said quietly, patting the edge of her bed, her hand outstretched like she was waiting for a wild animal to calm.

 

Raia looked at Raynuk for a moment, who gave her a small nod of encouragement, before crossing the short space to Jaina’s side, her posture stiff and uncertain. Tirzah, curious as ever, came closer as well, as though to reassure her friend that it would be okay.

 

For the space of several moments, Jaina simply met her uncertain eyes with a measured gaze, reaching into that small flame of hope that emanated peace and letting it fall around them like a blanket. At last, with an elongated exhale, she took one of Raia’s hands in both of hers. “Maybe,” she began with a small smile, “before you and Raynuk have to leave here, we can talk about some things that your mother should have taught you.”

 

While her smile was warm, a marked grief for the atrocities suffered by one so young marred Jaina’s eyes. My own mother would not speak for me… Her words were haunting to hear for one whose daughter had found herself abandoned for the vast majority of her childhood. “I want you to know that if you need to talk about what happened on Dathomir, there is no safer place than in this room right now. But regardless, whatever it was, it was not your fault.”

 

Tirzah circled around, taking Raia’s other hand silently, as though intuitively knowing what her mother was endeavoring to do. Jaina glanced at her, a flicker of pride echoing across her features, before turning her gaze back to the girl before her.

 

“If you’d like, if you’ll let me, there is something I can do to lessen the pain,” she finished quietly.

 

“What?” Raia asked, suddenly suspicious.

 

“It’s a Jedi healing technique,” Jaina offered. With a glance over Raia’s shoulder at Raynuk, she asserted her suspicion about the nature of the girl before her. “You’re a healer yourself, aren’t you?”

 

After a moment’s hesitation, Raia nodded. “I don’t want to forget. Mitral tried to make us. Forgetting is just lying and hiding the truth.”

 

“I agree wholeheartedly,” Jaina said, her gaze swimming in sincerity. “We are all the sum of our experiences and memories, and I wouldn’t dream of taking that from you. No, this is something a bit different. Rather than removing or altering your memories, it’s a way of…” She trailed off as though looking for the words.

 

“Remembering with peace,” Tirzah finished, her eyes closed as though seeing something that could not be seen by natural sight.

 

Moving one hand to grasp her daughter’s and keeping the other firmly in Raia’s grip, Jaina studied her daughter’s face wistfully, reaching through the Force to whisper instruction to her. You can help me, you know what to do. Follow your instincts.

 

She smiled once more at Raia, prompting gently, “Does that sound like something that might help?”

 

“We won’t get trapped again?”

 

“No,” Jaina replied as a genuine grin split her face. “You’ll be with me, and I’m strong enough to hold you two girls on solid ground.”

 

Raia’s eyes locked with Raynuk’s for a moment and he gave another nod. “I’ll be right here, don’t worry, mazais.”

 

Somewhat reassured by Raynuk’s presence within the Force, she gave her assent. “Okay…We can try it.” Raia’s grip tightened in her own, and in Tirzah’s. Any use of the Force still made Raia feel sick to her stomach with fear, but if it would help it might be worth it.

 

“Hold on,” Jaina whispered, then closed her eyes.

 

Bit by bit, little by little, she opened herself to the flame of the Force. Rather than a torrential heat, it was like watching the sunrise: as the power waxed and flowed, they would become accustomed to it. Gently, like the warm lapping of a tidal pool, Jaina pushed it outward from herself, enveloping Raia an inch at a time. It brought with it a unique light, the flame of a mother and daughter reunited and working together, hope and healing moving inward to the center of the darkness, where the fearful memories were kept.

 

And then, suddenly, abruptly, the warm progress of inner light halted as though coming up against a seawall. Intuitively, Jaina sensed Raia retreating into herself. But rather than forcing her way through the barrier, she simply paused, letting the girl feel out the sensation on her own. Inviting, warming, welcoming, Jaina offered her the peace that could be found only from letting the emotions of the moment go. Not, as she had feared, to release them forever, beyond recall, but simply to pause, and listen to the galaxy spinning around them, and let the darkness and the light and the turmoil and the shadows simply be.

 

Like petals of a flower that opened before the warmth of the ever-brightening sunlight, however, it did not take long for her resistance to melt away piece by piece.

 

Let peace wash your thoughts, Jaina communicated to the girl subvocally. Bring that which troubles you, let the light touch it.

 

Images began to flash in her mind’s eye almost too quickly to latch onto. Raynuk, bloodied and unmoving, prone in the red dust of Dathomir’s canyons. A maelstrom of crackling energy darkening the skies overhead. Fire: surrounding, behind and before, above and below, watering eyes--and just beyond, the visage of a blonde man with fey purpose. Gentle touch of hands on skin, immediate recoil and scalding rejection.

 

As though digging her heels in, Jaina ground the progression of images to a halt. It came as no surprise to her that such a task was difficult: Raia had already proven herself extraordinarily powerful. But this was the beginning of unfolding and healing. The center of her pain, that which she had already admitted to. My mother wouldn’t stand for me.

 

Fear had been the common ground shared between Raia and her mother: fear of displacement, of abandonment, of rejection. And some part of Jaina could not help but disdain a mother who would sacrifice her daughter before allowing herself to be displaced.

 

It rang true, echoed in Jaina’s own soul, and as they sat together, three women forced to grow up too quickly, she shared with the girls her own mourning. The Force prompted her as though she were staring at a shatterpoint. You are stronger than she was, Jaina’s mind whispered to Raia’s. You have already overcome so much fear.

 

Tirzah’s small voice chimed in, You are strong enough to walk alone, and you will not need to.

 

With the face of Raia’s mother held before them, Jaina washed it in the peace of the Force and let it slip into the endless stream that bound the galaxy together.

 

In its place, however, a sharper, more sinister face appeared. Sneering and snide, cold and calculating, she seemed to hover inside Raia’s mind, whispering controlled hatred, a puppeteer with her hand on the string. A hot lash of fury snapped, and as though they were back in the dream world, Jaina watched as a jungle tree encircled the woman, crushing the life from her.

 

Fear spiked from Tirzah, and at last, Jaina understood: Raia had not simply fled her people or abandoned her heritage. The storm, the fire, the woman… she had destroyed them.

 

Chaos gives way to serenity, she whispered to the girls. From that which dies, life comes again.

 

Once more wielding the peace of the Force like a cleansing stream, Jaina let it pour once more over Raia, enveloping her in the stillness of acknowledgment. It was not your fault. Guilt and shame are needless companions.

 

The brilliance of the light seemed to fade slightly as Jaina began to withdraw it, letting the moment glow in the healing touch of the Force that refreshed and renewed their souls as they resurfaced.

 

When she finally peeled open her eyes, she let her gaze flicker back and forth between the two. Tirzah’s expression was unreadable, but Raia’s face more than made up for it. Tears were streaming down the older girl’s cheeks unchecked, and Jaina leaned forward slightly, releasing her hand in order to wipe the girl’s eyes.

 

As she did so, however, something felt strangely different than it had been before. She shifted her weight once more, and all of a sudden, Jaina tossed back the blanket that had covered her. The blackened combination of charred flesh and grafted synthetic that scarred her leg was now completely new, glistening as though it had never been wounded to begin with.

 

Glancing back up at Raia, Jaina let out a breath she did not know she had been holding. “You are capable of so much,” she whispered, slightly awed at the side effect of her foray into the girl’s mind.

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...why are the pretty ones always the most hazardous to your health?

May the Forth therve you well...

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The girl, who was still trembling from the emotions of the experience, merely nodded and looked back at Raynuk, her eyes holding the same questions as before they’d been interrupted by the emergency call. Do you still want me?

 

Raynuk however, had not simply been twiddling his thumbs while the three delved into the Force. Silently, he had stretched his mind out towards the women, hovering just slightly away from them; close enough to jump in after them if needed, but far enough as to not let his substantially darker presence interfere or distract them. He would have been lying to say he did not hold a bit of concern for both Raia and Jaina, each for their own reasons, but beyond that concern was trust.

 

The depths of his connections, mentally and emotionally, to both Jaina and now Raia proved to be more than he had bargained for in the end however. Even though he was not a part of their shared ritual vision, he was privy to some of its contents. He saw the sunrise of warmth that blossomed from Jaina, and felt Raia eventually let it wash over her. He saw the faces of her mother, and of the snarling woman enveloped by the tree.

 

Between the two, Raynuk might as well have been a part of it. In the end, he found understanding about what had driven Raia into such a deep, dark hole on Dathomir in his absence, and he felt no embarrassment, no shame for her; He simply felt understanding. The tendrils of common ground among them all spread farther than either Raia or Tirzah would know, and even then he wasn’t sure if Jaina knew either.

 

”You should have stayed inside mother… Should have left this business to the men…”

 

Raynuk’s eyes slid closed as his own haunting words came back to him, along with a mental image of his mother. The woman who had raised him and had truly never given him reason to despise her, and there she was screaming, eyes transfixed on the bloody remains of her husband, until a knife whizzed through the air and silenced her forever.

 

His mother had been long dead, and the memory of those early days pushed far deeper than nearly everything else that had happened in his life. But as he opened his eyes again and found Raia looking back at him, full of emotion and clinging to the idea of feeling wanted again amidst the fear of rejection, it only served to strengthen the assurance that he had in his decision.

 

Silently he stood and crossed to the bed, standing beside Jaina as he fixed Raia with a smile reminiscent of the sunrise set forth by the Jedi. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, to answer the girl.

 

And then he thought better of the moment, instead reaching forward and mimicking the gesture Jaina had given to wipe away a tear, then glanced at Jaina with a silent message through the Force.

 

It’s time they knew…

 

Raynuk sat on the edge of the bed next to Jaina near her shoulders, and turned to look at Tirzah for a moment before he refocused on Raia.

 

“I have a story to tell the both of you, one that will probably answer questions I know you have, especially you Tirzah. But first; let me assure you Raia, that I am not Furion; you are not a weakness. You… all three of you really, give me a measure of strength; of drive, and of purpose. You give me a reason to fight against whatever this galaxy has the audacity to throw in my way. I have not changed my mind… You are like a daughter to me still. You are wanted, and you are cherished.” He began.

 

“But as I said, I have a story… And it is the reason why I have come to see you, and love you as a daughter. You see… many, many years ago…” he paused, glancing at Tirzah, “before either of you were born, when I was a young and, foolishly handsome Sith, I came upon a beautiful young woman. She captivated me, she intrigued me, and I knew at once that, given the chance, I would love her with all my being. She was quick of wit, sharp of tongue and sassy as all get out. And so I pursued her, nearly endlessly, and for a time, it seemed I had stolen her heart. And with her, I saw a future… not as a Sith Master, or a Dark Lord, but a future that held a family with this woman that I had loved.” He paused, appraising both girls, smirking slightly as he saw they were almost entranced with the story.

 

“But the fates had other ideas… it was not long before her heart was stolen by another, a man who this woman found herself unable to resist, a man who stood for everything righteous and good in the galaxy; a shining example of a Jedi. And it was to him that I lost this woman. It was that loss that fueled my own hatred and despair that pushed me forward as a Sith. I pursued her again, relentlessly as before, not as a suitor, but as a nightmare.”

He turned to Tirzah then, seeking to answer the questions he knew fluttered in her young mind. “That woman, was and still is your mother. And that ‘shining example of a Jedi’ was your father.”

 

He glanced backwards at Jaina, offering her a shallow smile, as though it could erase all the evil that had transpired between them. But then he faced forward again, addressing both girls once more.

“Jaina feared me in those years leading to your birth Tirzah, and I gave her good reason to be so. I was… a monster. I had lost your mother’s heart, and I did not handle that loss in any sort of good way.” His voice was sorrowful, and it was probably not hard for the young girl to feel the sadness of his presence through the Force in those moments.

 

“But as I said… that was many years ago. Through all that darkness and pain however, my feelings towards her, at their core, never waned, but were merely corrupted and twisted into evil and darkness. They remain even now. So I hope that you can forgive me Tirzah for the pain I caused your mother, and your father. Or at the very least, I hope you can understand my desire for redemption now.”

 

He turned to Raia then, and continued. “Which… you may be wondering what that story has to do with you. Remember that future I said I saw with the young beautiful woman I saw? Well, after you and Emily found me in my tomb, and after I began to spend time in your company, I began to realize how much you reminded me of that potential future, and of her.”

 

He reached out and briefly touched her hair, which was braided over her shoulder, with his fingertips. “Your hair is a similar color to hers, and your eyes are like mine were at your age. You are as I imagined a daughter between Jaina and I would be. And the more I began to notice it, and think about that future that I ruined, the more I realized it felt right… Like it was not just a reward for my atonement, but a reason to continue fighting for it.”

He paused, taking a breath and feeling like he had droned on for far too long to the two teenagers. But slowly a snarky smile grew on his face as he addressed each of them in turn. “So. In summary...Tirzah; I dated your mom before your dad and never stopped caring about her to this day, and Raia; you remind me of the life I could have had with Jaina of a family and love, and I’ve totally adopted you in my head as my daughter and couldn't undo that if I wanted to. Which I do not.”

He quickly looked back and forth between them. “Any questions?”

 

Raia was silent for a few moments trying to process everything Raynuk had shared with them. Finally she spoke, her voice quiet and tone gentle, “What about Emily? The baby?

 

Raynuk turned to her, his head dropping slightly at the question. “I had lost Jaina, and over time I found myself chasing after her less, and fulfilling my duties to the Sith more. And then… after Tirzah was born, Jaina was lost forever. The simple answer is… I moved forward and moved on, and I met Emily. I filled the hole in my heart with love for her.”

 

He paused, and then spoke again, as though he needed to reinforce the statement, “And I did love her Raia, and still do… but it always paled in comparison to what I had felt in my youth. In the end, Emily couldn’t handle that I could love someone besides her. As for the baby? That was unexpected and unplanned… And apparently I was the last to know, which speaks volumes.”

 

There was a growing sense of bitterness in his voice as he answered Raia, knowing that there was a part of him that wanted to leave Emily to whatever wolves she had crossed.

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I ate a hippo. It was delicious.

May the Forth therve you well...

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Again, there was a short knock on the door before the Nurse stuck his head in again, frowning when he saw that both Raynuk and Raia were still there. “I thought I told you two to clear out.” He seemed to shift ever so slightly as though he realized he’d walked in on the middle of something, but his duty to the patient and her recovery trumped any misgivings he had about interrupting.

 

Jaina, for a moment, considered ordering him out, but a wave of exhaustion rolled over her, not least due to her mixed feelings at Raynuk’s exposition of their shared past. The technique she had used on Raia was certainly one that had brought healing to both of them, but more than anything, she found herself sapped of energy.

 

And the mix of emotions congealing within Tirzah meant that they were due some alone time too.

 

“Whatever happens, we won’t be able to track down Emily if we’re all falling apart. Let no one say I don’t learn from my mistakes,” she smiled weakly as she lay back onto her collection of pillows. The nurse extended his arm as though to show Raia and Raynuk to the door, and they began to move that direction.

 

For a flicker of a moment, Jaina caught Raynuk’s eye. What she wanted to convey could not be put into words, so she settled for a look that she knew he would understand given their bond. In all the years that had passed between them, she had never truly known for what he had hoped. In the tale that he wove for the two girls, all the bittersweet regret that she had felt from across the galaxy, all the whispered apologies, all the efforts to atone now made sense.

 

He seemed to pause before exiting, the flash of a roguish grin in his eyes as he took one last long look at her, and a knife seemed to twist in Jaina’s gut.

 

Hurriedly turning her glance to Tirzah, she murmured, “We have lots more to talk about, you and I.”

 

Tirzah shrugged. “Okay,” she said simply, though it seemed apparent to Jaina that her carefully constructed apathy was a wall built for the benefit of others.

 

“Get some rest,” Jaina said, reaching out to squeeze her daughter’s hand once more. “And then I’ll answer all the questions you didn’t want to ask him.”

 

The pre-teen nodded, moving back towards the bed on the other side of the curtain, but Jaina did not release her hand. As she glanced back in confusion, her mother nodded to her. “After all, you deserve to have a mother who stands for you.”

 

Silently, Tirzah nodded once more, and Jaina thought she could detect the glimmer of tears in her eyes as she disappeared.

 

The nurse, still standing in the framed opening of the curtains, moved about checking her vitals and the status of her surgical scar. “Ms. Skywalker,” he said as his examination came to her previously burned leg. “Did you do an extra session in bacta that isn’t marked on your chart?”

 

As tired as she was, she could not suppress a smile. “No,” she smiled faintly. “Jedi healing techniques are powerful anyways, and it doesn’t hurt to have a little help.”

 

His eyes widened. “I didn’t know… your chart didn’t say... you’re a Jedi?!”

 

She snorted. “I have the same reaction sometimes.”

 

He glanced back and forth between her eyes and her healed leg several times, as if unsure of how to respond. “I’m sorry, I just… how would you like me to put this in your file?”

 

Holding up a hand, she shook her head. “Don’t bother including anything official. Accelerated healing as a result of prolonged bacta exposure is fine.”

 

Tapping on the datapad he carried, the nurse completed his assessment and dropped it in a slot at the end of her bed. “Okay. Now, Jedi or not, I think you could use some rest.”

 

After he left her line of sight, moving on to the next patient, Jaina’s comlink lifted of its own accord off of the bedside table and traversed the open air to come to a rest in her palm. But first, I have a call to make…

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...why are the pretty ones always the most hazardous to your health?

May the Forth therve you well...

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A comlink message arrives with a slithering ringtone backed up by the upbeat tunes of an often-played song from a Mos Eisley Cantina, intended for Master Quietus

 

 

<>

 

A scene is shown of the grand dining hall, filled with chanting loyalists, and the familiar faces of Dahar Raikanda and Vladimir Faust.

 

<>

 

Another scene shows bodies stacked like cordwood, charred by a lightsaber’s blade

 

<>

 

The comlink message ends with a slow wink from the face of the Sith Hutt.

 

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King Kheldar vos Correlli said:
Sheog, I have to ask, overkill much?
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Raia was silent on the way back down to their room, doing her best to embrace the uncertainty and revelations that had just been revealed. She was worried about Emily but didn’t think that Raynuk would simply abandon her or the baby.

 

Things between Emily and him made a bit more sense now, she supposed. Things still seemed so complicated, though Raia thought she could understand how Raynuk could hold love for all of them in his heart.

 

The situation of Emily’s capture scarred Raia and she voiced her thoughts once they were safely back within the relative security of room 327. “Who would take her? The Empire? She said she wasn’t a Sith, but was one in the past. Does that mean they could take Jaina too even though she’s a Jedi now? Are they going to take us all?”

When he did not immediately answer, she took a few deep breaths like Emily had taught her and tried to find her center again. It was difficult, but she somehow managed it. “Who sent the holonet response to the Empire?” she asked. “It wasn’t the big slithering Sith’s voice. Are there others out there?” Raia honestly didn’t like the idea of finding more Sith, but Raynuk’s offer and whatever Jaina had done had helped to clear her mind enough that she could begin trying out possible solutions to getting Emily back.

 

“So many questions…” Raynuk mumbled finally, having returned to his bed and sitting on it. “Any number of people or groups could have taken Emily, but I have 2V following up with CoreSec on who took her. I will figure it out, don’t worry. And then we can decide what to do.”

 

There was another knock on the door, and a moment later Nurse Smith popped her head into the room.

 

“Oh good, I thought I saw you two. I hope I'm not interrupting anything?” she said in her normal chipper tone.

 

“No no, not at all. Please come in.” Raynuk answered with a wave of his hand. “I was just about to tell Raia here about your offer to visit the maternity ward that you made earlier.”

 

Raia looked at Nurse Smith and then back to Raynuk. “What is ‘Maternity’?”

 

The nurse gave Raynuk a look for a moment but then turned to Raia. “That’s the part of the hospital I normally work in. It’s where women who are pregnant with a child come when the baby is ready to be born. Then the doctors and nurses like me make sure the mothers and babies are all healthy and happy so that a few days later they all get to go home and begin growing up. Would you like to come see?”

 

The young girl looked at the nurse with renewed interest. That had been her favorite part of her duties as a healing apprentice on Dathomir. “I can go?” she asked Raynuk, eager for a bit of distraction from the current situations.

 

The sheer excitement he found in her voice brought a smile to his face as he nodded, “Of course. As long as you promise to listen to what Nurse Smith tells you, okay?”

 

“What about you Mr. Montar? Would you like to come?” The nurse asked.

 

But Raynuk simply shook his head, “No, I don’t think so, but thank you. I find myself a bit exhausted, so I’m just going to stay here and rest a bit, perhaps catch up on some… work.”

 

Raia threw her arms around his neck briefly and gave him a hug, “Thank you,” she said meeting his dark brown eyes. He could feel her gratitude and even a brief glimmer of happiness even though both went unspoken by the girl. “Don’t work yourself too hard. You need your rest as much as Jaina does.”

 

“Oh is that where you were? Visiting your friend on the fifth floor? How is she?” Nurse Smith asked.

 

“She…is a very strong-willed woman, and I think she’s doing better and better every day. It was good to see her and talk to her.” Raynuk answered, almost wistfully.

“Maybe you can tell me how babies are made, then,” Raia said suddenly to Nurse Smith. “I have helped deliver, but don’t know how they come to be.”

 

Raynuk instantly facepalmed as Nurse Smith looked at him following her question, and sighed. “I’m sorry… She’s been terribly sheltered for most of her life. Her mother and her were from a small clan on Dathomir that I often visited during trade routes. I’m afraid I was not around to be a father to her until recently, following her mother’s death. This was only her second real trip to a big planet… She’s still adjusting.”

 

Raia looked slightly embarrassed for not having fully thought out what other questions hers might bring. “I didn’t want to stay on Dathomir. It was boring.”

 

Nurse Smith rolled her eyes at Raynuk before asking Raia gently, “And your mother never told you?”

 

The girl shook her head, “Just that my body was ready.”

 

“It really should be your father that should talk to you about this, but it might be better to hear it from someone who gets to see the results of it day in and out. Come along, dear,” she put her arm around Raia ushering her from the room before adding, “Besides not knowing at your age could lead to unplanned consequences. Now where to start...”

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~~ A comm comes in for Raynuk Montar ~~

 

Raynuk,

 

I hope this finds you in better health. I have some bad news. We received a message from Captain Ulys Kelvin of CoreSec informing us that Emily has been abducted. My instincts tell me that it was the Cult. Draken and I are on our way to Coruscant now to see what else we can find out. I wanted to let you know in case you hadn't heard. I'm also concerned about Raia. How is she after all that happened on Dathomir? Please let her know we are thinking of her.

 

~~ end comm ~~

 

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Darth Alraune

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A comm arrives for the Ravenhammer, moored in Tyrena City.

 

 

At approximately 1440 hours standard time, Ms. Zsahra-Skywalker's ship was observed floating dead in space, attached to a freighter with a stolen transponder ID. Shortly thereafter, an escape pod jettisoned from the Shadow's Shine and was immediately collected by said freighter, which disregarded regulations concerning hyperspace jumps within a certain radius of Coruscant's atmosphere and jumped immediately to hyperspace. Several fighters which bore markings connecting them to known criminal organization Black Sun destroyed the ship and eliminated all significant traces of wreckage. Can you give us any information as to what Ms. Zsahra-Skywalker was doing on Coruscant, or if she has any known enemies?

 

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Raynuk sighed slightly as Raia and Nurse Smith exited his room, silently wondering with amusement what the Darth Quietus of only a few years ago would think of his present circumstances. Probably would have killed the girl the moment she tried his patience…

 

With Raia gone however, Raynuk returned to the task of tracking down information regarding Faust’s attack here on Corellia. By now, several reports of the events had gone out over the news channels, all of them pointing to the attack being the work of a single man that had seemingly no connection to Faust, other than his manifestos and messages. Was it possible that Faust could influence someone like that? To essentially haunt them and drive them to perform such acts?

 

But like before, the fates decided that Raynuk had to be interrupted from his research as his comlink beeped, signalling a newly arrived message. Apparently he had been distracted enough since the alert regarding Emily came through that he had also missed two previous messages, one apparently from Sheog and the other from Alora. He played all three messages in order, beginning with Sheog’s.

 

The Hutt’s message was short and sweet, but was of importance. It seemed the Sith were indeed on the rise again, and the newly built temple on Korriban had drawn a number of powerful players there. The fact that Faust had shown up and apparently tainted the temple with his presence was concerning, even more so considering the hutt pointed out Raynuk’s warning arrived later than Faust himself did. He did not recognize the other man shown as another Sith, but that was not entirely worrying; Raynuk had been dead for a while.

 

The news that Exodus had assumed the mantle of Dark Lord, as well as Sheog’s assurances and proof that Faust’s influence would not be felt within the temple both brought a measure of confidence to Raynuk. By the end of the Hutt’s message, Raynuk knew it was a summons he would not, and really should not, ignore.

 

Which made the next two messages harder to listen to. Alora had apparently received the same message from CoreSec that Raynuk had, and had decided along with Draken to pursue Emily’s abductors. Her confidence that it was the Cult of Morthos troubled him, as he had heard nothing that would have pointed the Cult to Emily. As far as he knew, the Cult was seeking him, not Emily. If they had wanted Emily, why would they have resurrected him, and not grabbed her when she arrived at the resurrection on Korriban?

 

It was a troubling idea, but there was a growing part of him that was willing to leave Emily to whatever problems she had gotten herself into.

 

The third message, which had been forwarded to his comm from the Ravenhammer by 2V, brought with it a few answers.The fact that her ship was observed to be dead in space over Coruscant was troublesome, but the timing of the unidentified freighter making an undocumented jump right before Black Sun fighters destroyed the Shadow’s Shine was enough for Raynuk. The question remained as to why the Black Sun would want Emily, but their involvement, and not that of the cult made his decision easier.

 

He would not pursue what had happened to Emily.

 

Besides the fact that he trusted Alora and Draken to get to the bottom of what had happened, he was still holding resentment against the woman for the secrets and selfishness she seemed unable to rid herself of. And even if the cult was actually involved somehow, it was likely a ploy to distract Raynuk from continuing his hunt of the cult as a whole. Sometimes in war, sacrifices must be made… he thought to himself, feeling the truth of the fact that he was capable of leaving Emily to the wolves while he destroyed the wolves’ den.

 

With all three messages listened to, Raynuk set about responding where appropriate, instructing 2V to again respond to the CoreSec captain as well.

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

With the responses to his comms sent, Raynuk took a deep breath and leaned back in his bed, his gaze drifting out the windows, a bit of mirth filling his mind as he again regarded how much better the view was from Jaina’s room.

 

The lengthy conversation that had transpired between the two of them was nothing if not cathartic. It relieved a great deal of burden from his shoulders and his mind, and for the first time in a very, very long time he saw a glimpse of hope for a future where they were not repelling each other like oppositely charged magnets. What came of them would remain to be seen, but if he knew one thing, it would be that every step forward would be made without regret when it came to her.

 

Hopeful as he was, he was still worried for her. She would likely still be recovering from everything that had happened -- including things from before her death -- for a long time. The best he could do would be to support her when needed. She seemed to find purpose, if only briefly, from helping relieve Raia of the burden the girl still carried from Dathomir, and for both of their sakes he was grateful for it.

 

His thoughts drifted to Raia once more, a swelling of his heart coming with it. He had decided almost spontaneously to accept what his heart and mind had already decided; that the teenager was his child in the Force, and that such a connection was meant to be. He would guide her, protect her, encourage her, and love her as his own daughter. And that simply felt perfect to him,

 

Thoughts of refection of the past hours spent with Jaina, Tirzah and Raia eventually gave way to Raynuk slipping into a slumber that was far more peaceful than a Sith Master deserved. But still it came, and he drifted off wrapped in its warm embrace.

 

The sound of his door opening, and the voices of Raia and Nurse Smith roused him from the slumber, and he sheepishly greeted them with a smile, trying to act like he had not fallen asleep at all.

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The hand holding her comlink fell against Jaina's chest as she willed herself to breathe slowly, tears leaking out of her eyes as she gazed dully out the window. She had managed to keep herself together through her conversation with the enigmatic Delta, but now that she found herself at last alone in her room, all of the myriad emotions of the day began to catch up with her. The weight of them seemed to constrict her chest and cloud her mind, and Jaina found herself wishing for the numbness she had felt only an hour ago.

 

It is work to stay soft...

 

The words seemed to taunt her, floating in her mind with Andon's voice. Numbness was safe, Jedi-approved, even. There is no emotion, there is peace.

 

If she could choose to forget, she could forget Andon and the Star Destroyer-sized guilt that settled across her shoulders every time Raynuk's eyes caught her own.

 

If she could choose not to care, Emily's whereabouts--and the existence of the child growing within her--would be a mere curiosity.

 

If she could choose not to feel, she could laugh in the face of Delta's tears, brushing off the obvious soul-crushing wound that would lead him to offer his own daughter to her out of base protective instinct.

 

But something in her had woken up when the dark-haired phantom of her past walked into the room, and like pinpricks of returning circulation, Jaina found that everything she felt was pain.

 

So now she had consented to Delta's favor, and would put everything on the line once more for someone else's family. There was no way she could turn down such a request, and Delta knew it.

 

A curtain of torpor seemed to hang in the air around Jaina, tempting her to fall into its murky depths as though falling into a blanket. Like a black hole, it offered promises to swallow all of her pain. Something sinister lurked in that blackness, though, that absence of emotion, that Jaina could not put her finger on. Even juxtaposed next to the Jedi ideals that eschewed attachment, it seemed wrong to utterly abandon the impulsive emotions within her.

 

There would be no true peace without reconciliation, of that she was assured. She had been reconciled to Raynuk, after a fashion. Loaded with forbidden emotion, weighed down with circumstantial freight, she had still pursued peace with him after so many long years of their mutual torment: a peace that would not have come except for the emotion that drove her to pursue it. For now, it seemed worth it.

 

Andon had taught her too well and too thoroughly, or she had straddled that grey line of the Force for so long that even if such peace was a lost cause, she would die pursuing it.

 

So she fell into the Force, pushing outward on the apathy that threatened to crush her, and prepared for a healing trance such that she might escape for a moment. The sweet peace of dreamless sleep would replace the conflict that warred within her gut until the Force provided her with some unseen wisdom. A mantra rang out over and over again as her cascading tears continued until finally, they didn't.

 

There is no emotion, there is peace...

 

---

 

When Jaina awoke, the orange glow of afternoon sun painting her face, she became instantly aware of a small hand in hers. Tirzah was sitting at her bedside, facing away from her, pale dark eyes fixed on the glow of the light from the window. Curly hair framed her jaw, and while the resemblance to Jaina herself had always been obvious, for the first time, Jaina observed Andon present in her daughter's features. Thoughtful, contemplative, faithfully present even in pain; there Andon had always lived for her, and there she found Tirzah now.

 

A sudden wistfulness stole over her at the thought that Tirzah might someday become like her father. In many ways, like Raynuk had said, Andon was the shining example of what a Jedi should be: willing to fight for the lost cause of peace and harmony. But his connection to John Skywalker, and even Jaina, bespoke of a darker element. Andon had never been content with what a Jedi should know or have. In truth, they fed off of that drive to learn in one another. But in the end, all of their knowledge, their power, their mastery of light and dark could not save them from the inevitable decay of death and despair.

 

Hollowly, she thought back on Tirzah's words to her as they were en route to Raxus Prime. Her daughter did not want her for a teacher, only for a mother. Tirzah's pedigree ensured that she must be trained in the arts of the Force, but Jaina grew more convinced with each passing moment that she could have nothing to do with her daughter's advanced tutelage. The line that must be walked by those who seek the whole of the Force was toxic, and if it were up to her, Jaina would not allow her daughter near it.

 

"Hey," she murmured quietly, but Tirzah did not move.

 

Pushing herself up to sitting, somewhat pleased with the lack of tearing pain from the movement following her healing trace, Jaina leaned forward and squeezed her daughter's hand. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk?"

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Tirzah's gaze never wavered from the window, but her voice came, smaller than usual. "Master Tares is gone, isn't he." It was no question.

 

"Yes," Jaina replied simply, "as we know him. His connection to the Force has been severed. Even if he comes out of the coma, he'll be very different without the Force. It's like trying to walk with no legs." Or see with blind eyes, she thought ironically.

 

"And you're trying to fix him? That's why you called that Delta from our dream?"

 

"Yeah."

 

She trailed off into her own thoughts, but Jaina did not interrupt. There was something in Tirzah's experience that needed to emerge, and she did not yet know what that might be.

 

“Fixing people is what Jedi do, isn’t it?” She turned toward her mother as her face scrunched in confusion. “Raia tried to heal me and she’s Sith. Is they why we got trapped together? Did she do something she shouldn’t have?” Tirzah was dancing around having to discuss what she’d seen of Raia’s memories and some of the harsher realities her friend had had to face.

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Jaina shook her head. “No, she didn’t. Raia is very untrained. Control comes naturally to you, since you’ve had training since you were very young, but when she touched you through the Force, her level of control was not enough to ground the two of you together.”

 

With a proud half-smile, Jaina gazed deep into her daughter’s eyes, no matter how well Tirzah could actually see her. “You’re more strong in the Force than you know. And you helped to ‘fix’ Raia. She’s seen a lot of terrible and difficult things, and you comfort her, I think.”

 

Squeezing her daughter’s hand a bit tighter, Jaina continued, her throat constricting, “You comfort me, too.”

 

Tirzah raised an eyebrow, as if to say, No kidding, I’m your kid,, but remained silent as her face grew serious once more. “Why would her own mother say those things? Abandon her like that when she had to know what would happen? I mean, you hardly had a choice and dad-” her voice caught as her mind reeled with a thousand thoughts to finish the statement with and, rather than choose one she let it drop. “I’m still mad at him for walking away from me, but I’m not supposed to be, am I? Anger isn’t an emotion Jedi are supposed to have, is it? How is it fair to ask us to give up what comes so naturally?”

 

“That’s a hard question,” Jaina answered, leaning back into her mountain of pillows. “Many a Master has wrestled with the same thing.”

 

Studying the backs of her hands, she exhaled slowly. “From my perspective, anger isn’t something you should give up. Emotions themselves aren’t the problem. Trying not to feel emotion is like trying not to breathe: it’s next to impossible and it might just kill you to try.

 

“As for your dad,” she continued, invisible wires constricting around her heart, “I have something to show you. I found it on Raxus Prime just after we arrived. It’s time you saw it, I think. It might help to explain some things about why your dad wasn’t there for you.”

 

Through the Force, she reached for her datapad inside the bag hanging from her bedside table. It floated to sit on the space between her and Tirzah, and whether or not the girl could see the image of her father’s haggard face, his voice gave plenty of context for the emotions behind his words.

 

"This is the last testament of the Jedi known as Andon Colos, left to Emily Skywalker, my only remaining family in the known universe.

 

“I am farther into the stars than I have ever dreamed to travel. So far out, in fact, I can barely detect any other beings through the Force. There is such an emptiness on the fringe, there is so little here that is actually alive.

 

“I cannot feel the flicker of your future, I do not even know if you are alive, but I choose to believe that somewhere you are safe and loved. I have no possession of worth to leave you with, but what I have is a tale. It is the tale of how I came to witness the fabric of eternity unravel and mold before my hand.

 

“My story is not an easy gift to receive, but it is mine to give and I will gladly share it with the little girl I remember, whose eyes were too smart for her own good. And like all good stories, my Emily, it all starts with a girl…”

 

When the last words of his incomplete transmission dissipated into the scrubbed air of the hospital room, Jaina tucked the datapad away once more. The words were no easier to hear a second time, but strangely, for the first time since her return, she found that she could think of him without instinctively reaching for the comfort of his presence through the Force. Instead, she stretched out towards Tirzah, feeling a grief that mirrored her own.

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...why are the pretty ones always the most hazardous to your health?

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For a long time, Tirzah didn’t speak or move, just staring blankly at the datapad in her hands. “That’s all there is?”

 

No mention of her, surely he’d known she had survived her birth? All for Emily, his Emily. Nothing of the daughter he’d abandoned to the whims of the cruel and dark galaxy. It was his fault that she’d had to suffer all of those years in and out of the orphanages, bounced from foster home to foster home. A sharp surge of jealousy twisted her features.

 

Even if he hadn’t wanted to raise her himself, he could have honored his duty to her by at least bringing her to the Jedi Order sooner instead of abandoning her to the services available for the unwanted on Hapes.

 

She’d forgiven Jaina for not being there. Death was hardly something she could begrudge her mother. Her father though was a different matter entirely.

 

Tears ran down her cheeks, and she pulled away when she sensed Jaina reaching for her. She didn’t want to be touched, held, or coddled.

 

Jaina had given her permission to honor the anger she felt, but maybe the lesson the Jedi had intended was to pay respect to the emotion, but not let it continue to fester within to become an all-consuming hatred. She wanted to hang on to the injustice she felt but remembered Raynuk’s own admission and what she’d witnessed during Raia’s healing.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” she sighed, allowing herself to let go of the painful emotions. “Master Montar probably filled in the rest anyway...and...I still don’t know how to feel about that. Do you love him, mom? Same as you loved Dad? Is it wise to get involved with a Sith Master, especially one who seems perfectly fine with abandoning his own child?”

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...why are the pretty ones always the most hazardous to your health?

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Ammi finished up another song, then retreated back, letting a display of pyrotechnics wow the audience. Over the clapping of colored explosions and neon laser lights, she checked her communicator again. It was from CoreSec. She gathered her friends around and then read it. When Ammi received that call back, she felt a warmth run through her that she hadn't felt before. She made a difference, an actual positive difference on the galaxy at large with her music! Giving an excited squee, she hugged both her droid friends and then went out and finished up the remaining songs with renewed energy, even doing an encore of Fear is the Mind Killer.

 

When all was said and done, they'd raised a modestly tidy sum. Ammi steadfastly refused to have her expenses reimbursed for the cost of flying out as well as the expenses on her show like the fireworks and such, an action that made 4L-T0, and even B45-50 nervous since it ate into the small nest-egg they earned performing on Coruscant. They weren't broke again, but they also couldn't afford a major mishap or large sudden expense either. The funds were given to CoreSec to disperse as needed, trusting that they'd get it to the right people.

 

They parked the ship at a spaceport and then gathered at a local café, Ammi ordering food for herself, and getting energy shakes for the droids. Ammi had the oddest sense of deja vu as she walked around, like she'd been here before, long before her adoption, but nothing she could remember. She tried, but once again her head started hurting and she shrugged it off. She leaned back in her chair, trying out an exotic fruit flavored smoothie, supposedly all the rage.

 

"We have a few options," she said, looking at her bandmates. "We can stick around Corellia, and try to find work. We can try heading back to Coruscant too. Both are pretty safe, pretty steady options." She gave 4L-T0 a serious glance, trying to read his mannerisms. She didn't want to put the band in jeopardy by running out of money. "Since CoreSec thanked us, I don't think we have to worry about that incident we instigated. I think the same could be said of the two ("Three", B45-50 interjected) run ins we had with the Imperial remnant that might have gotten us on their bantha poo doo list." She gave B45-50 a sharp look. "The commandant, over the outfit, the brawl at one of our events that got the doxy of the local Moff's teeth knocked out. That's two."

 

"What about that riot?" 4L-T0 added sarcastically.

 

"That wasn't our fault and it doesn't count." Ammi snapped in a familiar refrain.

 

"Four," B45-50 amended. "The riot was not the one I was thinking of."

 

The three sat in silence, brooding. "Well, Sith space is out," Ammi concluded. "I don't think we caught any serious attention from our concert, but let's not take chances." She had a surprisingly sober expression on her face as she said that. Both droids found it odd that Ammi was the one to warn about taking chances too. "Nar Shaddaa maybe? I think that last incident with the Hutts is water under the bridge. The places is seedy, no doubts about that, but it could be fun!"

 

To continue on Corellia, to go back to Coruscant, or to try the Empire or Nar Shaddaa... The three continued debating the pros and cons of each well into the night, only putting the discussion on hold when it was closing time for the cafe'. Tipping generously, they left, and the debate resumed back at the ship.

Forgiveness is a rebirth of hope and a reconstruction of dreams. Once forgiving begins, dreams can be rebuilt. When forgiving is complete, meaning has been extracted from the worst of experiences.

- Beverly Flanigan.

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Raia’s trip with Nurse Smith to the maternity ward of Tyrena Medical Center had been fairly enlightening, yet at the same time raised more questions regarding the situation between Raynuk and Emily.

 

What had also surprised her was a number of males present in the maternity ward. Nurse Smith had found Raia’s shock mildly amusing as the teenager had explained how things worked in the jungles and huts of the Dathomiri wild. Mothers did not leave their homes to birth their babies, but instead, Raia and her mother had come to them.

 

What was left unvoiced by the girl was the mixed feelings she got when she watched the mewling, squirming, little bundles in the nursery. The thought of carrying someone, of a new life growing inside a mother still filled her with wonder. How was it you could be as close as you possibly could to another individual and then leave them to face death alone? How could her own mother have abandoned her so completely? Her mind still struggled to reconcile the event, despite the short distance and changes that time had brought.

 

Raynuk had given a reason for claiming her, but what she wasn’t sure was how she was his daughter. The Jedi Raynuk had mentioned had apparently sired Tirzah, but, to her knowledge at least, Raynuk had never been among their tribe so it was a near certainty that he hadn’t played a part in her creation. Still, she couldn’t deny the bond that had developed between them or the fact she’d grown just as attached to him.

 

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it hadn’t about his ability to ensure her own survival. If that had been the case, leaving him here and remaining on the ship would have been safe enough. Yet she’d lied to the staff in order to make sure that he was okay.

 

She’d gotten so lost in her thoughts she jumped when Nurse Smith’s hand brushed her shoulder. “I’m sorry, dear. Credit for your thoughts?”

 

Raia looked up at her and hesitated. “On Dathomir...children don’t have fathers. There are males, yes, but they are mainly workers or helpers, never child raisers. I have a father now, but I still don’t understand what it means.”

 

The Nurse smiled, her kindly manner evident in her eyes. “We have a saying here on Corellia: the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Usually, we take this to mean that families are formed through bonds of love and mutual commitment, rather than simple biology.”

 

Raia had gripped the biology well enough as Nurse Smith had explained it, but it seemed there was still a lot more to be learned.

 

“Father’s aren’t that different from mothers, I think you’ll find,” Nurse Smith continued. “Different approaches, but they care every bit as much as mothers do about their children. Your father cares enough about your well-being that he’s broadening your experiences beyond your homeworld. You care enough about him to ensure that he got proper treatment, even standing up to Dr. Janspear when you didn’t feel he was doing a good enough job. However new your relationship is with your father, anyone with eyes to see can recognize that you two have a special bond. Speaking of, I should probably get you back to him, my break’s just about up.”

--------

 

Raia thanked Nurse Smith as she entered the room that had been assigned to Raynuk and closed the door behind her as the older woman departed. She offered him a sheepish smile of her own, before crossing to the couch affixed along one side of the room. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to try to get some sleep,” she shrugged before pulling one of the blankets around her and rolling to face the wall with her back to him. It wasn’t long before she was asleep.

 

After a few hours of tossing and turning, she suddenly bolted upright, scuttling backwards, gasping and screaming from whatever dreams and Force-whisperings had gripped her.

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Utterly taken aback, Jaina recoiled and stared at her daughter with wide eyes. “I--I don’t--he isn’t--”

 

Blinking several times from sheer shock, Jaina studied the floor intently, her face frozen in a mask of surprise and conflict. Every question she had been avoiding in her mind was thrown in her face like a thermal detonator. To one, however, she had a firm answer.

 

“I don’t love him the same way I loved your dad,” she said as matter-of-factly as possible, hoping that her answer would suffice to quell the girl’s accusation until she could subtly change the subject. Strictly speaking, this was true. Andon and Raynuk were nothing alike. But it was a question she could not let herself explore the repercussions of just yet. Snorting derisively, she added, “Besides, you can’t trust everything a Sith Master says. He left out the part where he kidnapped me and my… sister…”

 

Her face grew slack again. “Tirzah, your adoptive mother. The one who brought you to the Jedi. What was her name?”

 

“Ashley Jade,” Tirzah replied, not quite sure why it mattered. “I haven’t heard from her in years. She’s probably forgotten about me, if she’s even still alive.”

 

Jaina ran a hand over her face. Of course. Andon’s strange amnesia made more sense now. Had his lifted the same time Ashley had departed in search of Jaina?

 

One thing was for sure: the memories of Tirzah and Jaina that had been stolen from the pair of them had not been accidental.

 

“She’s your aunt. My sister, Ashley Jade Skywalker. She… she didn’t remember you? Or me?”

 

Tirzah’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand. Ashley Jade...she adopted me from Hapes. She was a teacher there. There was a lot she said she didn’t remember, but never seemed to feel like it mattered. Then she one day decides to move us from Endor to the Jedi and then leaves me. Why do adults always think kids aren’t strong enough to know?”

 

She paused for a moment before adding. “And you still haven’t answered my question. Do you still love Master Raynuk? Because he sure as hell seems to care an awful lot about you.”

 

Jaina regarded the girl coolly. Tirzah’s experience had been traumatic, but that was no excuse for her casual disregard of her mother’s attempts to fill in the details that she had been missing nearly her whole life. “There are a lot of things you don’t understand,” she said quietly. “Sometimes, it’s not that you’re not strong enough. Sometimes, it’s that you just don’t see the whole picture.”

 

Straightening up in bed, her eyes drifted as though seeing somewhere far away. “She wasn’t on Hapes when you were born, which means she must have come looking for us. Andon--your dad--something happened to both of them. Their memories were taken from them, just like the Force was stripped from Master Tares. I don’t know why, or how, or who did it, but I intend to find out.”

 

Jaina bit back the emotional retort that wanted to explain to Tirzah that she could not have possibly understood the motivations of her aunt, who was private and understated to a fault. But something in the set of Tirzah’s face reminded her to speak gently with the girl. Their tenuous relationship must not be disrupted by petty bickering.

 

“As for Master Raynuk,” she said, “That’s n-” A knock at the door made her pause before she could respond to her daughter.

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...why are the pretty ones always the most hazardous to your health?

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There was nothing quite like the sound of a teenaged girl screaming to rouse a person from normally peaceful slumber. And it seemed that despite Raia's normal quiet and borderline shy demeanor, the girl had quite the set of lungs on her Raynuk realized as her scream broke him from his own dreams like a twig over the knee. He likely would have lept full bore out of the bed and landed on his feet if the sudden stab of pain from such a violent bodily movement had not cause his instinctual reaction to recoil.

 

So instead Raynuk had to settle for flinging himself upright and nearly yanking over the fluids drip that was still attached to him, his entire head snapping towards the couch where Raia had been sleeping, quickly taking stock of the look on her face.

 

“Raia, what is it?!” He asked through a mouthful of worry and confusion. If history was any indication, he figured the girl had had another unfortunate vision through the Force, which continued to be troublesome for everyone involved. He knew she did not want them, and each one brought with it a sense of dread for her; both in terms of what she may have seen, and for the inevitable growth of the tattoo she wore like a badge of shame from Furion.

 

She'd settled against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest and trying to steady her breathing. She wouldn't look at him either when he asked her again.

 

There was a short knock at the door before Dr. Janspear barged his way in, “What's going on in here Mr. Montar? Is your daughter okay? She seems quite distressed.”

 

“It was just a bad dream,” Raia quickly murmured from her spot on the couch, her expression revealing her displeasure at seeing the overly nosy doctor again. “I'm fine.” Her face was still pale, but at least she was responsive now.

 

“I told you,” she began, frustration at the doctor or the dream causing a measure of venom to seep into her voice, “you aren't wanted or needed here. Go away and leave us alone.”

Dr. Janspear rubbed his temple, finding that this girl routinely gave him a headache. “You don't get to decide who treats or does not treat your ‘father’ child. Children do not dictate hospital protocol.”

 

Raia's cheeks flushed red as the girl visibly bit her tongue before leaving the room, lest she inadvertently do something they all would regret. Raynuk opened his mouth to talk to her, but the girl was gone before he could get a word out. Instead, he turned his attention to the doctor, suddenly picking up on the man’s choice of emphasised words and the way he had acted towards Raia, both of which suddenly annoyed the Sith. And that was always a dangerous thing to do, injured or not.

 

“I’m not sure I like the tone that you just used with my daughter, doctor he stated in what was almost a mocking tone. “Or would you care to tell me why you’ve decided to be rude to her? I’m sure it was hard enough for her to have to deal with my admittance here without you making it harder on her.”

 

The doctor shook his head dismissively. “She knows way less than a daughter should about her father’s medical past. There are some things about her story that don’t quite sit right with me, but soon you two won’t be my problem to deal with much longer. Depending on how the rest of the day goes, you’ll likely be discharged in the morning.”

 

Raynuk looked at the doctor for a minute, and then carefully swung his legs off the bed, and got up. Doctor Janspear attempted to begin telling Raynuk he didn’t need to get up, but one glare from the Sith shut the doctor up as Raynuk stood and approached the doctor, severely invading the doctor’s personal bubble.

 

“Well it's a good thing you’re only supposed to be a doctor. I’ll tell you the same thing I told the CoreSec officers who came in here the other day investigating me for ‘human trafficking’...” There was a rising anger in his voice that came from suddenly understanding that it was this poor excuse for a human being that had likely called CoreSec in the first place.

 

“She is my daughter. I don’t give a pile of bantha poodoo what you claim to know or think. Her mother died very recently, the mother who raised her while I was running around the galaxy conducting business. So no, you’re right. She doesn’t know my medical history, because she barely knew me at all until recently. And instead of doing your job, you’d rather make her life more of a living hell than it already is… And that I will not abide. I suggest you leave Doctor, lest you end up in one of these beds yourself.”

 

Visibly shrinking back from the taller man, Dr. Janspear just managed to hold on to what shreds were left of his dignity as he made his mark in the chart before leaving the room as well, feeling more than a little regretful that protocol prevented him from releasing the man and his daughter sooner. Raynuk watched the doctor all but flee the room before visibly exhaling, his own form shrinking slightly as his posture relaxed. He was still quite annoyed that the doctor’s presence had caused such a visceral reaction from Raia, but more-so by the fact that the girl had fled the room before Raynuk could find out what had caused her to awaken in terror like that.

 

So with that concern in his mind, he reached out into the hospital with the Force, trying to find the teenaged girl who was now a daughter to him.

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Tirzah’s expression indicated that this discussion was far from over as the girl crossed to open the door.

 

“Raia?” The younger girl stepped back to wave her friend into the room. “What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

 

“I-I was hoping to talk to your mother about some things. I can always come back if it’s not a good time...”

 

“Come in, Raia,” Jaina called from across the room, extending a hand to the girl. The interruption was a welcome relief from Tirzah’s inquisition. “What happened?”

 

Something in the girl’s face was haunted, and despite the momentary peace they had arrived at together, Jaina immediately sensed that something was off. “What did you see?”

 

Raia looked at Tirzah for a moment, knowing she’d likely already exposed the girl to far more than she should have seen as a Jedi. “Raynuk...Master Furion...and,” she paused, her voice dropping to just above a whisper, as though she were scared to say the name aloud, “Faust.”

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Decisively, Jaina turned to her daughter. “Tirzah, will you go check on Master Montar, please? I don't like the idea of him being left alone.” Her expression left no room for argument. The girl had seen enough of Raia's terror for one day, and needed no additional fuel for her own inner conflict.

 

Tirzah shrugged, not quite liking being left out, but gave little protest. Maybe I can get something out of him about my father then…

 

“Take your comlink with you,” Jaina admonished as Tirzah retreated from the room with a muttered “whatever.” Using the Force to pull the chair closer to her bedside, the Jedi Knight gestured to it.

 

“Sit down, and tell me what you saw,” Jaina said gently.

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Raia didn’t immediately sit, still feeling worked up with what she saw. “We were in Master Raynuk’s tomb on Korriban, only, this time, the ritual didn’t work, or maybe it was wearing off...I don’t know. He was half dead, but standing with enough strength to slaughter the cultists he’s hunting.”

 

She paused and opted for the chair as her legs began to feel shaky. “Furion came for me while he was fighting, ordered me to kill him, but I didn’t...I couldn’t...wouldn’t.

 

“This made him angry and he took me over somehow. I don’t remember much of what happened next, but Faust was there talking about how we’d played our parts to perfection and we were on top of a mound of bones somewhere. Faust stood with Furion and Raynuk was joining them. Faust did something and Furion disappeared, but fell into a thousand little silver spiders that attacked me...that’s...when I woke up…” Playing with the ends of her long-sleeved tunic, she looked up at Jaina.

 

The Jedi nodded, her brow furrowed in thought. “These… dreams, these visions… you’ve had them before, right? It was your vision that showed you where to find Tirzah, wasn’t it? Did this feel the same?”

 

Raia nodded. “Emily says they’re rare gifts. All they’ve done is cause trouble. I saw the fight at the Memorial when I was left behind as part of Furion’s collection,” her tone had shifted slightly at the last few words. “I saw you and Delta and flashes from your past with Raynuk and Tirzah’s father. Emily hiding your message and the baby from Master Raynuk. The cultists finding out about the Shine...This felt...different...and not. I won’t go back to Furion. Ever. I’ve seen what Faust can do and the lấy một phần mười he can leave in his wake. Even someone as powerful as Masters Raynuk, Draken, and Alora are wary or careful around him.”

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Furion’s collection… Hollow dread crept over Jaina. If her visions had all been true and this one was no different, then what Raia had seen did not bode well. Presently, she spoke slowly as though she were choosing her words with great care.

 

“Raia, your visions themselves don’t cause trouble. People carry trouble, and darkness, with them. To blame it on visions, or on secrets, or on things beyond their control is denial and weakness. Such things are too often the bread and butter of the Sith, I’m afraid, as I learned when I was an apprentice among them,” she said gravely, bringing her own experience to bear on the situation.

 

Jaina was beginning to piece together Raia’s story, between snippets of conversation with Emily, Raynuk, and now Raia herself, plus what she had seen in the girl’s mind on two occasions. Emily must have taken her as an apprentice, stolen away from the hoard of Darth Furion, and with the subsequent split between Raynuk and Emily the girl must have opted to stay with him. But why? How had he so quickly managed to endear the teenager to him? In Raynuk’s manner, she had detected no duplicity, no lack of sincerity, no untoward behavior. She had warned Emily against Raynuk, and received nothing but assurances that he was not how Jaina remembered him. Everything Raynuk had said and done since her reunion with him seemed to prove her niece’s declarations truthful.

 

But Emily was now conveniently removed from the situation, and Raynuk had no intention of pursuing her, even for the sake of his own unborn child. Instead, he turned his fatherly attentions to Raia, who was powerful, malleable, and friendless, and had already managed to attract the attention of far too many Sith Masters for Jaina’s liking. “Why did Furion want to collect you?” she asked warily.

 

Reaching through the Force to the girl’s mind, she added, and why are you telling all of this to me and not Raynuk?

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Tirzah was more than a bit miffed at her mother’s dismissal, but was also grateful for the escape in a way. She’d already seen more of Raia’s demons than she cared to, even if she felt more than a little empathy for what the girl was going through.

 

She made her way down the corridor, flattening herself against the wall as a particular doctor brushed past her in the hallway, clearly wanting to put as much distance between himself and where ever it was that he’d just come from with all haste. What’s got him so worked up? she wondered before continuing to her destination.

 

She knocked on the door to 327 and waited for an answer when she felt the darkness of Master Raynuk’s mood.

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The girl wiped the moisture from the edge of her eyes, “I-I don’t know. I don’t know why Furion wanted me and I don’t know why it made more sense to come to you instead of my…” she paused, hesitating at the foreign word, “father.”

 

In her hesitation, she questioned within herself why Jaina had seemed safer than Raynuk in light of her dream or vision, she really couldn’t be sure which it was at this point. “You are not Sith…” she answered simply. “And...you know him better than I do.”

 

How do I know that he’s not collecting me too because of these visions? she couldn’t bring herself to voice the fear aloud. Too late, she realized the floodgates of uncertainty and doubt the single thought had given way to, unknowingly sending its echoes through the Force, though still guarded enough that only the well-trained would be able to pick up on it.

Would he have still cared about me if I didn’t remind him so much of you or the life he wanted with you?

 

Would he abandon me as quickly as he did Emily if I failed to serve his needs or purpose?

 

Am I still a game piece that's just changed hands?

 

With each spiraling thought, it became harder and harder to hold back the tears. Do I really even trust him or do I cling to him because he means I won’t have to be alone again?

The truth was, at least in that moment, she’d chosen to trust some Jedi she’d just met over the man she’d just bonded herself to in some form or fashion she didn’t yet fully understand. In the rush to feel she’d belonged somewhere, Raia hadn’t completely thought through what the implications of that connection and affiliation were.

 

To her, Jaina held no stake in her future, so she could be trusted to be as objective about the situation as possible. It was maybe even because of her previous association with Raynuk that Raia trusted her now. This woman, by Raynuk’s own admission, had seen him at his worst. Raia hoped Jaina’s insight and experience would be enough to help her find her path forward amid all of the confusion and doubt the dream had raised.

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"You are never alone in this galaxy, Raia Montar," Jaina murmured in response to the girl's voiceless query, prodding at the girl's acceptance of Raynuk's offer by use of her new name. "To wield the Force is to be connected to the essence of life itself. Some, like Furion and Faust, twist it to their own devices; they distort the very fabric of the Force to destroy that which creates it."

 

A wry smile passed over her face. "Raynuk was once like them. Perhaps in some ways he still is," she admitted, "mired in the old ways of thinking that have made him powerful, too entrenched to find another means of access to the Force. Emily wanted me to believe that he was different from the nightmares of him that I remember. I didn't see what she saw then. Now, here, in how he cares for you, at last, I see it."

 

In her heart of hearts, she knew: Raynuk would never let harm come to this girl. He did not lightly welcome others into his heart, but once he had, it was irretrievably done.

 

"But you, Raia, are a healer. If you choose to stay with Raynuk, the discrepancy between you and the other Sith is something you will have to reconcile, and no one else can do it for you. Only you can determine if you can carve out a place for a healer among the Sith.

 

"If you think you can do that," she continued, "if you can decide for yourself that is the path you choose, then you will find no protector more loyal. He is no collector, like Furion, no mastermind, like Faust, not even a deceiver like so many of the others. He is a warrior, and even among the Sith, there is honor among warriors."

 

Jaina laid an earnest hand atop Raia's. "If you can be who you truly are with him, uncompromising for even a second, but still able to learn and expand and grow into who you wish to become, you would be a fool to throw it away."

 

A twinkle came into her eyes. "And all this coming from a Jedi. I really am the poorest representation of what the Order is supposed to be," she laughed.

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...why are the pretty ones always the most hazardous to your health?

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Raia felt the Force surging through her even before Jaina touched her hand, though this time she didn’t feel the fear that had once gripped her at its brush. It was surging, yes, but not sweeping her up as it washed through her and over her while she considered the Jedi’s council.

 

The truth of Jaina’s words echoed in that connection and resonated within Raia’s being and she realized, in that moment that accepting Raynuk’s offer of family and protection meant she could move forward with confidence, even among the duplicitous and dangerous Sith.

 

He’d never once tried to force her to do or be anything that she wasn’t. Even in the wake of all that had happened on Dathomir, he still had encouraged her to be who she wanted to be and choose the life she’d wanted. The very whims and wishes of the Raia of two years ago that had pushed her along the path to where she stood now.

 

When she looked up at Jaina, there was a certainty that hadn’t been there before.

 

"Now, Meita, go. Your Tētis is waiting for your answer," Jaina urged, carefully applying the language that sprang from the depths of memory seldom wanted.

 

Raia gave her the smallest of smiles that ultimately broke into a full-blown grin as she nodded, then dashed from the room in search of her Tētis.

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Raynuk’s extension of the Force yielded unexpected results however, as he found the smaller and brighter presence of Tirzah making her way down the hallways, seemingly towards him. He simply sighed again, and took a deep breath in an attempt to let out some more of the anger and frustrations that were slowly subsiding from his interaction with the doctor. Don’t want her to pick up her mom’s habit of fleeing from my presence he joked to himself, which seemed to help his mood.

 

The knock at his door, though expected, still surprised him slightly, having not realized Tirzah was that close already; which meant she may have sensed the tail end of his foul mood. He crossed the room to the door and opened it to find Tirzah standing at the door with a mixture of patience and guarded defense.

 

“Let me guess, your mom kicked you out of the room?” He said as evenly as he could, a bit of a grin tugging at his face. “Come on in.”

 

She took his offer, padding into the room as directed. “Raia was upset. I think my mom thought I'd seen enough of the inside of her mind for today.”

 

Tirzah folded her arms and shrugged as though attempting to seem nonchalant, which she utterly failed to accomplish. The shadow of apprehension still marked her face. “She's probably right.”

 

Raynuk nodded and hummed an affirmative as the younger girl passed him, noticing clearly she was not as casual as the girl wanted to seem. “Yes, she is. Everyone has things they’d rather forget, and Raia has far too many of those for someone her age. It troubles even me.”

 

He watched her for a moment, and then carefully closed the door and turned to her. “And what about you Tirzah, you seem to have something on your mind.”

 

Before the girl could answer though, Raynuk felt the need to clarify. “Listen, if it's about the past between your mom and I, I’m not trying to be your new dad or anything. I just... “

 

He trailed off and sighed, falling back into momentary silence.

 

“I care what happens to her, you know? I’ve done a lot of wrong to her, and I’m aiming to make it right, even if it’s only an inch, or a word at a time. I owe it to her for all the time I stole from her by chasing her around like a monster.”

 

His own arms crossed as he felt a rare moment of vulnerability. Jaina he could talk to confidently. Raia he could talk to confidently. But Tirzah, who was a sort of combo of the two, he found himself unsure of how to talk to with such self assurance, like the young girl could and would see through anything he might say to dismiss a feeling or a statement.

 

“Sorry… You didn’t come here to hear me spew words all over the place.” He said. “Why are you here?”

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Chocolate-hued pale eyes flicked upwards toward him, as though rather than looking at him, Tirzah was looking through him. A corner of her mouth turned up in a smile the spitting image of her mother’s, then she said simply, “Mom said she didn’t want you to be left alone.”

 

She shifted her weight and looked askance as though there was something more on her mind, but Tirzah did not readily come forward with it. And there it was; a flicker of her mother that Raynuk could latch onto and recover his senses around. Evasive answers and a smile that was almost toying. With it, he stood up a little straighter, and his crossed arms became more authoritative than protective, and his chin lifted.

 

“I see you got your mother’s tendency for evasive answers. I’m sure she did say that, but that doesn’t mean you were going to actually do it. Wouldn’t be the first time you disobeyed your mother, now, would it? Maybe she didn’t even tell you to come down here for all I know.”

 

He paused again and studied her for a moment, “Come on Tirzah. I know you have questions of your own rattling around in that head of yours. Only way you’ll get answers is if you actually ask the questions. Unless you want me to read your mind that is.”

 

Tirzah shook her head fractionally, her smile disappearing for a moment before bursting forth again as an uncontrolled grin. “I was mostly going to ask if you had anything to eat. I’m starving.”

 

“Oh? Forgot where the cafeteria is already Tirzah? I’m sure one of the nurses or orderlies will tell you. Clearly you wasted a trip here.” He said, turning and walking back towards the door and opening it. “Why, here comes one now, shall I flag him down for you?”

 

“You know,” she said thoughtfully, “You’re not at all like how I imagined meeting a Sith Master would be.”

 

She made no move toward the open door. Instead, she countered his question with one of her own. “She said that everyone forgot me. That my dad, and… Ashley Jade… they just forgot me. Did you do that to them?” Her tone was thoughtful rather than accusatory, but underneath it, there was an undertone of some less obvious insecurity.

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Raynuk tried and failed to suppress a small smile from calling Tirzah’s bluff, and pushed the door closed again. “Ah so, now we get to a question that’s eating at you.”

 

He walked back away from the door, deciding to go sit on the couch instead of returning to his bed. He sat down and for a moment studied Tirzah’s face before speaking.

 

“No Tirzah, I did not do that to them, and I honestly have no idea who would do that. Though… I can theorize as to why, if you’d care to hear my thoughts on the matter.”

 

She raised her eyebrows and bobbed her head slightly in the affirmative, and in return Raynuk leaned forward, clasping his hands together.

 

“It is possible… That your father, your mother, and your aunt Ashley all either decided, or were made, to have memory of you removed from their minds to protect you. Perhaps they thought that by keeping you a secret, by ensuring that none of them could be coerced to reveal your existence, your identity, or your location, that it would keep you safe... “ He began, then paused and continued, watching her, “From me. To ensure that you could not be used against them. To ensure that doing anything to you would be pointless as far as hurting them. Because something like that... it was something I would have done. In fact, that was partially why I kidnapped your aunt Ashley before you were born...”

 

He sighed again, feeling like all the conversations lately kept coming back to “Quietus the Monster”.

 

“I know you have no reason to trust me really Tirzah, but one thing that I know for sure -- and I hope you can take my words as I mean them -- I know for sure that it was not because of you. Not because you were unwanted. Not because you were born blind. Not because anyone thought of you as a burden. If it was a choice they made, I can guarantee it was not a choice made easily. I see the way your mother looks at you; the pride in her eyes, the love in her heart, and her desire to simply be your mother. So any lingering thoughts about being discarded or unwanted, push them aside, and dwell on them no longer. You know better than I what the Jedi teaches you about dark thoughts and regrets.” He said offering a smile.

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Tirzah's dark features grew pensive once more as she digested all that he shared with her. Slowly, she moved to join him where he sat, though the wary set of her jaw insinuated that she still perceived him as an unknown and dangerous quantity. “I’ve learned a lot of things from the Jedi, but they were wrong about some,” she said, facing straight forward and staring at her interlaced fingers.

 

Pale, otherworldly eyes dripped diamonds as Tirzah spoke again, her saccharine voice husky with emotion. “Mom wants me to love my dad, but I don’t. I hate him, and I don’t think I can ever forgive him. If he were a real Jedi Master, he would have been able to protect his memories of me. He would have been there, and he wouldn’t have let anyone come between our family.”

 

Pivoting to face him, dark curls cascaded over her shoulder, and her manner demanded explanation. “What if someone wanted to use Raia against you? You asked her to be your daughter, did you think about that? What she might lose by being associated with you? What your enemies might do to her?”

 

Sobs shook her shoulders. Finally, angry tears spilled out as her own losses and wounds sank their teeth into her thoughts. “I don’t want to be a Jedi. I don’t want to be anything. I wish someone had ripped the Force away from me instead of Master Tares. Everyone takes pity on me because I’m blind. But I’m not blind. I see everything. Everyone’s afraid of me. Even Mom.”

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Raynuk remained quiet for a single moment, and then turned slightly to the girl, and wrapped both his hands around hers, and spoke, quieter than before, and without the hint of humor that had persisted up to that point, but as strong as ever.

 

“Your mother wants you to love your dad because she doesn’t want you to have that kind of hate in your heart. Like all parents… she wants you to be better than she is and was. She wants to make the mistakes, so that you don’t have to. I think… I think that’s a fundamental part of being a parent; you want the entire galaxy to be open and perfect for your child, and you’re willing to sacrifice nearly everything, so long as it means a better life for your kid.”

 

“You asked me what if someone used Raia against me… and if I had thought about that.” He paused, another small smile curling his lips for a moment as he continued. “And the answer is yes, I did think about it. And I am thinking about it… Because right now, someone might be using Emily and the unborn baby to get to me. And that is something that I have to deal with. I may not be on the best terms with Emily, but I know her. She is capable of great things, and is in no way a helpless damsel. And I have to trust her capabilities… But I can’t allow myself to fall victim to a trap in which she is the bait.”

 

He paused again, and then swayed sideways, gently bumping into Tirzah in a playful manner and continued, “Besides… I have friends who are very angry that someone took Emily, and they are going to find her. And I trust them too.”

He paused to think about Alora and Draken tearing apart the galaxy to find Emily, which brought its own breed of smile to his face. But the thought was broken, as a voice, familiar and scared, came to him like a whisper.

 

How do I know that he’s not collecting me too because of these visions?

 

Would he have still cared about me if I didn’t remind him so much of you or the life he wanted with you?

 

Would he abandon me as quickly as he did Emily if I failed to serve his needs or purpose?

 

Am I still a game piece that's just changed hands?

 

 

Do I really even trust him or do I cling to him because he means I won’t have to be alone again?

 

Raynuk’s eyes slid closed as the words came to him in Raia’s voice, and he felt his heart drop slightly. Raia was scared and confused, and was suddenly unsure about everything that had been built between them. He understood why she had not told him what her dream vision was about, but why the poor girl had run from the room. But the fact that she had gone to Jaina brought him a bit of comfort, because he had seen the way Jaina had eased Raia’s burdens before. Now it seemed the fates were offering him the chance to return the favor to Tirzah, who was likewise falling victim to her thoughts and pains.

 

Opening his eyes again, he spoke once more, turning to meet the milky eyes that continued to produce tears.

 

“You don’t want to be a Jedi? That’s okay. You think you’re the only kid who grew up among them to suddenly feel that way? You don’t have to be a Jedi right now, or even tomorrow, or every day from here till your next birthday. All you have to be, right now, is yourself; be Tirzah, the twelve year old girl who’s hanging out in a hospital with her mom and her mom’s old friend while both of them get better. You don’t want to love your long departed dad? That’s okay too Tirzah… It’s how you feel, and beating yourself up, or getting upset with yourself because you don’t feel like you can love him is never the answer. You only have stories that other people tell you of your dad, and none of those stories are going to make up for the abandonment you feel. Your mom knew him best of all, and she loved him, but even she feels the same sting of abandonment that you feel. So maybe you don’t love him; maybe you do hate him… Or maybe you can not hate him so much, because in the end, he loved your mother, and she loved him. And now she has you; the physical, tangible proof of that love. And she gets to love you to Coruscant and back, and you get to do the same for her.”

 

“But in the end… All you have to be, is Tirzah, the twelve year old, one who maybe kinda hates her dad, and maybe kinda doesn’t want to be a Jedi because all the other Jedi snobs treat her like she’s fragile and will break. What do you think, want to just be Tirzah for a while?”

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