MoM: Not All Is As It Seems (Assessment)

[Travis]

 

• The Angvardi invasion during the Unification Campaigns in 2E 1049 was not the first time that the Kingdom of the Sei has been invaded. Numerous times over the centuries, the Sei have faced invasions from all sides and not all of them went well for the Sei. The year is 2E 156 and the mighty armies of the Koshi general Agmas have invaded from the south. The once powerful bastion of Buteas Sei has fallen and with it, the Seinari have been crushed. Now nothing stands between Agmas' horde and the capital, Kasas Sei.
   
  That is, nothing except the shrewd wizard Xaretines and his small band of courageous peasants from Praten. . .

 

 

_____________

 

Title: The Master of Magic: Not All Is As It Seems

Rating: PG-13

Rated for: violence, language

Critique level: Critique Requested

 

This will be the first of (hopefully) several short stories set in the Master of Magic universe created by me. The first mention of Xaretines' tale was in the One Who Masters Magic when Havert briefly mentions it as one of the great heroic tales he so loves. I plan on containing this within 20,000 or so words, but with my record, it could quickly expand to more. I will be working on this slowly in conjunction with my editing of the first draft of the full novel. Nonetheless, I hope to have a chapter out every two weeks or so.

[Travis]

Here we go, the prologue to this little baby. I am trying out some new things to see how they work out. As this is a short story and not a novel, I will probably only have about three to four active characters. The focus (at least after the prologue sets things up), will be mostly on action with only one major plot, so don't expect any truly deep subplots. I generally consider myself good at multiple layers and plots, but this will be a single plot deal or it may turn into the bastard prequel that I never planned on or wanted.

 

Anyone reading this will NEED to see the map or you will likely be lost in the flurry of locations mentioned here. The map can be found at this link.

 

 

_______________

 

 

Prologue

 

Not all is as it seems.

 

On initial inspection of the situation, one would believe that the Sei were finished, doomed to be overrun by their southern neighbors. In a brilliant move that required precise timing and impeccable foresight, the great Koshi General Agmas sent three armies from three different locations to ravage the Kingdom of the Sei. A sizeable force of cavalry descended from the Kredat Hills along the western border to distract the bulk of the Seinari, the Sei's professional standing army. While the Seinari were busy chasing down the raiding cavalry, a second, much larger army set out from the Jarvaliis Highlands along the southern border. That army surprised and overwhelmed the patrols along the border and managed to storm the city of Asperi Sei with little resistance.

 

When King Mortuthan scrambled conscript forces to liberate Asperi Sei, General Agmas and his third and largest army hit them from the flanks by advancing across Kosh Lake and catching them in the open. With nothing between him and the fortress city of Buteas Sei, Agmas personally organized a siege. Hoping to catch the Koshi by surprise and lift the siege, the Seinari that had been chasing down Agmas' cavalry in the west attempted to cross the Lower Mastar River that ran along the western side of Buteas Sei by night.

 

It was a total disaster.

 

Spies within the Seinari had alerted Agmas of the maneuver and his men were waiting. Of the twenty thousand Seinari that attempted to cross the river, only three thousand were able to make it back. The rest were slaughtered to the last man. Buteas Sei fell just two weeks later and the streets ran red for days.

 

In just forty days, the Koshi had conquered more land than they had been able to in four hundred years of sporadic warfare. The Kingdom of the Sei had no military force between Agmas and the capital, Kasas Sei. King Mortuthan was preparing to evacuate to See Sei and negotiate a terms in hopes of being able to retake the lands at a later date, but Agmas was not that sort of man. He was the sort of man who wanted it all and right now, it was all within his grasp.

 

But, as I so often like to say, not all is as it seems. I am Wizard Norquen Xaretines of the Coalition of Balance, and I leave this journal to those who will come after me so that they may learn to see things not as they seem, but to see things as they can make them be.

 

 

Village of Praten

Kingdom of the Sei

2E 156

 

You could see the smoke from here. Everyone knew what it was and what it meant, but nobody dared to speak it aloud. The Koshi were coming and they would burn anything in their path just as they had Buteas Sei. Anyone who lived in that path would be left to starve or freeze to death in the winter with no food or shelter. The Koshi weren't interested in the wellbeing of the Sei, just their land and resources.

 

The villagers didn't like me much, but that wasn't my problem. They were suspicious of anyone from the Coalition, and I didn't blame them. When the Coalition arrived, it was usually because something had gone terribly wrong in the Great Balance. You see, the Coalition of Balance was not beholden to any king, we were independent and sovereign. We were a group of accomplished warriors and arcane practitioners who understood that in order for the West to survive against the rising power of the East, there had to be some sort of balance. No one kingdom could take over the rest and grow too powerful lest they gain the notice of the Angvardi Empire or the new Kingdom of Terula. It was best for all if the Easterners were left to fight between themselves, and they were content to do so as long as there was no threat to them from the West. The Coalition had tact assurances from both parties that as long as no Western kingdom grew too powerful, they would keep their focus in the East.

 

So whenever one kingdom grew too powerful or looked like it was on the verge of utterly destroying another, the Coalition stepped in. Sometimes, a careful word of warning whispered in the right ear was sufficient to ward off the threat. Other times, a simple assassination prevented the deaths of tens of thousands. On the rarest of occasions, the Coalition had to take far more direct action.

 

This was one of those times. None of us had foreseen the speed by which General Agmas would overwhelm the Sei. Wars between the nations were frequent and had almost become a sport to the two of them. The Coalition worked quietly to ensure that neither side was able to successfully destroy the other and that those wars ended in a general stalemate. That strategy had seemed to work just fine up until now.

 

When Agmas' forces took Asperi Sei, I suspected that this would not be any normal war. Agmas had been a young man in the last war, but he had accomplished great things. He had deftly climbed his way through the ranks of the Koshi armies until he was a commander of one of their banners, or what they call their battalions. Then, at the end of 2E 149 when most sane military commanders were setting up their winter camps, Agmas decided to take unilaterally take command of two other banners by disposing of their commanders and march all three straight into Sei territory. With nine thousand men at his back, he managed to surprise and overwhelm a Sei army sixteen thousand strong that had invaded Kosh.

 

They battled for three days, after which the Sei withdrew back into their territory with a scant seven thousand men. For his part, Agmas lost only three thousand men while killing five thousand Sei and taking four thousand more as prisoners. His astounding victory was enough to not only get him pardoned for executing the other two commanders and disobeying orders, but to also get him labeled as a Hero of the People. He used his newfound power to gain control of the army and force the king to turn over most of the actual power in the kingdom to him.

 

We should have seen the threat he was, but the Coalition was occupied at the time making sure the Tegas and the Susun's most recent disagreement didn't break out into war. By the time we realized what was happening, it was too late to stop him. He was too well protected by his army to assassinate and there was no way to persuade him to stand down. The only alternative was to try to deal with him directly by intervening on the Sei's behalf.

 

And so I was sent north into this rather dire situation and told to stop Agmas by any means possible. Weather delayed my arrival until it was too late. The other Coalition agents who had been in the area had already been killed or driven into hiding, I was the only one who could do anything at the moment.

 

What was I given to work with? Not much, truthfully. The Sei employ a quirky system of military recruitment. They have the Seinari, their professional, standing army that is typically enough to deal with usual matters and at least delay any invasion until reinforcements could arrive. Those reinforcements came in the form of conscripted citizens from various cities and towns near the conflict. All able bodied men are required to train periodically throughout their lives so that when the need arises, they are at least semi-competent when it comes to fighting.

 

The Seinari in that time typically numbered around thirty-eight thousand men scattered in various units called wings that each had a little over five thousand men in them. There were, at the start of the war, seven Wings of Seinari in the entire kingdom. By the time I got there, there were only four, and one of those was scattered throughout the western frontier and all but useless to us. The other three were guarding the borders from the Kutii and the Sua just in case one of them decided to take advantage of the situation, though I didn't think they would remain there for long. When your enemy has breached your lines and is slaughtering your vanguard, you don't hold back your reserves for fear that the enemy might have another force at your rear. Even if they did, you are doomed if the enemy shatters your line and guts you where you stand.

 

Even if that doddering fool of a king, Mortuthan, decided to send in the rest of his army, that wasn't going to help me any at that point. Kasas Sei was all but undefended. If my sources were correct, then there was not more than two thousand men protecting its walls. If Kasas Sei fell to Agmas, then there would be no going back. He would be able to use his army to hold that city against any attacks that the Sei could launch against him. Once the Sei ran out of men to throw against the walls of their former capital, Agmas would open the gates and march out to conquer the entire kingdom.

 

Back to my original point, I was left with next to nothing to save the entire kingdom. I had arrived too late to save the Seinari forces from their slaughter, but I had managed to get some help, if you could call it that. I had but four hundred conscripted men from a village called Praten that was about ten miles northeast of Buteas Sei. A battle hardened lot they were not, and they had no illusions otherwise. They were afraid, severely lacking in confidence, and ultimately, a complete disgrace to the typically competent Seinari.

 

While standing there watching the smoke rise from Buteas Sei, I could not help but wonder if this was a fool's errand. Only the knowledge of what would happen should I fail kept me from throwing my hands up and leaving these whining peasants to their fate. The saddest, most infuriating thing of it all was that, as powerful a wizard as I was, I couldn't stop Agmas' hordes on my own. I needed them as much as they needed me.

[DarthBrendo]

This needs to be looked at again...

 

Agmas decided to take unilaterally take command of two other banners

 

Interesting read though. Very different feel to the novel, in that it's quite brief and doesn't go into the same detail, but if this is supposed to be a shorter story than that is fitting.

[Travis]

Yes, it is a different feel from the novel because I am testing out new writing styles. I want to throw this small piece out there since it is a sample of what I am going for. I went with a more casual, almost sardonic mood here, but I am not sure how it will play out. I want at least a second opinion before I continue further because if it fails miserably, I will need to change things. Instead of chapters, this will be divided into named sections of varying length.

 

______________

 

 

Assessment

 

What sort of instructor would I be if I did not give you an assessment of the situation from which I found myself forced to work with? I daresay not a very good one. And, since I am widely considered to be a most excellent and wise scholar, I believe that at least a basic assessment is required.

 

When I arrived in the Kingdom of the Sei by way of Castle Integle (which, ever since Lord Belgan the Large's unfortunate accident there two years ago, is now called Fat Man's Fall), I was forced to constantly adapt to the ever changing situation. General Agmas' lesser generals were quick and brutal in the execution of their tasks, so the battle lines were constantly changing. Normally, armies in these sorts of conflicts tend to move cautiously and slowly, preferring to secure and loot newly taken territories before the enemy came to displace them. This was usually a sound tactic as wars here rarely result in permanent transferring of land.

 

However, as I have stated before, General Agmas was not your typical general. He was more ambitious and daring than any other Western general of our time. Instead of moving slowly, his armies were quick and brutal. They swept through the southern reaches of the Sei in less than three weeks, and that includes the week long series of battles for Asperi Sei. Instead of meeting up with a Seinari wing or two, I found that the Sei were almost completely routed and what few men they had left were too busy fleeing northward to offer any help.

 

It through much difficulty and tribulation that I found myself stuck in the unremarkable little hovel of Praten which lie not too far from the scene of the massacre at Buteas Sei. I could tell you of the games I played with Koshi patrols on my way there, but any fourth year wizard could accomplish such things and the tale would probably bore you to tears.

 

Oh by the Balance, the leadership I found while there! What a complete mess that was, and it was an utter shame. The doddering fool of a king, Mortuthan, had fled his capital and his duty leaving behind utter discord and chaos. With him went any semblance of an experienced officer corps that could be used to rally the routed and demoralized troops fleeing from the calamity of the south. I could find no commander above the rank of lieutenant, and the one I did finally find was completely unfit for the task before him.

 

Onto the players in the story. First, of course, was me: Wizard Norquen Xaretines. At this time, I was still fairly young, but I had been in three campaigns before and learned to specialize in war magic. Some within the Coalition specialize in politics or assassination or even recruitment, but I found out fairly quickly that my gift truly lay in killing large numbers of men and getting others to help me do it. Sometimes, the situation simply calls for mass carnage and no other strategy will work. You already know where I came from and how I ended up in the Coalition, so I won't regale the tale. Needless to say, as it turned out I happened to be the perfect man for this job, and you will soon see why.

 

Other than General Agmas, who only entered the scene at the end, I need to mention the Koshi general Toug. He was an old friend of Agmas who rose when he did and therefore found himself in command of Agmas' banners, or battalions with a little less than twenty-five hundred men under him. Normally, he would have had three thousand, but he was in the vanguard at the massacre on the Master River that crushed the Seinari reinforcements sent to free Buteas Sei so he lost some of his men. He was a competent man who was as ruthless as most generals can be. He drove his men hard and kept good discipline among the ranks, and that made my job all the more difficult.

 

I wish it could be said that we had good leadership on our side. Lieutenant Gestar Hrotinas was a puerile, arrogant, and altogether plump old goat of a man who, by some excessively unfortunate string of events, somehow managed to land himself command of the Praten Company. It is probably due to his excessive incompetence that the Company was delayed in responding to their orders of conscription thus saving them from the horrible fate that awaited the Sei at Buteas Sei. Perhaps the Balance had some use for him after all, because for the life of me, I couldn't find any trace of use out of him. He was an entirely disagreeable, pompous fool who should have been strung up as the village idiot before being made their lieutenant.

 

Fortunately, his second in command was a decently competent man. Sergeant Orthan Whelden was a good man who preferred to take care of his men rather than gain recognition. He was an experienced veteran who rose up through the ranks of the Seinari before growing older and deciding that a slightly quieter and less unstable life suited him better. While he was far from perfect and tended to be too cautious, I was glad to have in around.

 

While not a single person per se, I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to give a brief overview of the Praten Company. They were, like most of the Sei's forces, conscripted peasants who ranged from stable hands to farmers with the occasional shopkeeper or shepherd thrown in just for good measure. They were mostly hard working folk who loved their land and were willing to fight to protect it. That didn't mean they were suicidal. Believe me, it took a lot of persuading to get them to stand up against General Toug's army when the time came for it, but they proved to be moderately competent in combat, despite their poor leadership.

 

Perhaps a brief overview of the situation I found myself in would help. By the time I arrived in Praten, Agmas had secured Buteas Sei and was preparing to move on Kasas Sei. The company had mustered and was in arms, but the moron Gestar simply had no idea what to do. He had no orders due to their king's hasty flight, but he was not courageous enough to set out on his own. He and his four hundred men were encamped half a mile south of their town though many of his men spent the night in their own homes. They were milling about doing nothing important when I arrived, but more about that later.

 

Agmas sent General Toug and his banner up along the Lower Master River to serve as a preliminary invasion force and to scout the area. While he was aggressive on the battlefield, Agmas was not foolish enough to risk his entire army moving through hostile land when he didn't know where his enemy was. Had he known the true extent of the Sei's military and command breakdown, he may have come north with all of his men and the world would be very different than it is today. Thanks be to the Balance because he did not therefore I only had to contend with Toug's twenty-five hundred men.

 

The terrain in the area was fairly typical for southern Sei. There was a great deal of rolling hills with fairly minimal ground cover. It would be difficult to maneuver an army in the day with any degree of secrecy. That also meant that there were few materials suitable for the construction of barriers or even firetraps. Wizards can indeed create fire, but to get a truly awesome effect, we prefer to have something around us that can burn with ease. There were, to my relief, plenty of small canyons no more than ten or so feet deep scattered throughout the area. Most of these were caused by runoff during the spring and autumn storms that created small tributaries for the Master River.

 

It was in the middle of the war season, so at least the days were long and the weather was warm. Agmas might have won his fame by launching a winter campaign, but he was not foolish enough to trust such a complex series of maneuvers to the benevolence of winter weather. That is good because I hate having to wake up every morning wondering if most of my men were unable to fight due to frostbite or even just freezing to death. Of course, the heat presented problems of its own, but whatever weather related problems we suffered, our enemy had it worse because they were in a strange land and farther from their supply lines. They could only get so far on foraging, especially with such a large army, but the Sei were right at home with plenty of food and knowledge of safe places to get water.

 

Regarding weapons and armor, things weren't as bad as they could have been. The Koshi preferred to a type of locking scale armor by which they fastened the scales on all four sides instead of just the top like most. Over this, and occasionally weaved in with the lacing, were steel rings around an inch in diameter to offer further protection against slashing attacks. They rarely wore anything under this armor other than normal cloth, but they didn't need to because their armor proved to be quite resistant on the battlefield. The Koshi utilized the usual assortment of axes, swords, and spears that most Western armies field.

 

The Sei, on the other hand, preferred hardened studded leather armor since it was easy and cheaper to produce. This region has an abundance of cattle, so there was a bountiful source of high quality leather to use. The more wealthy of them were willing to afford the occasional half scaled shirt or even a set of truncated mail. This offered them fairly durable protection, even if it didn't quite match what the Koshi professionals were wearing. Like the Koshi, the Sei used the standard array of weaponry and were surprisingly adept at wielding them, at least for conscripts.

 

In summary, I found myself on that summer day faced with leading a scant four hundred untested boys and men against nearly six times that number of battle hardened warriors soldiers. The only thing I had in my favor was the fact that the enemy didn't know I was here and my men knew the terrain. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, though. As I said, my gift focuses on killing large numbers of men and that was something the poor Sei peasants sorely needed.

[DarthBrendo]

This continues to be a vastly different style of writing, but I'm enjoying it. I think that you'll get better and it will become more natural as you continue to write, but for the time being, it's enjoyable.

[jedi_master_gimpy]

Hullo! I'm glad to see you're still working on your original series, Travis. I wasn't quite sure where to start with jumping back in, to be honest the sheer word count I recall from MoM is a bit daunting! I thought that I would swing by here first to sort of ease my way in...

 

It's definitely a different style from what I recall of MoM and I'm enjoying the first-person perspective. It's a lot easier to simply sit back and enjoy this story - I think it's the narrative style, and also perhaps some more familiarity with the whole world - rather than the intense focus I recall more when reading MoM and trying to make sure I was catching all of the details. I'm also reminded that whenever I get into any battle in my own writing I should ping you for help on logistics and tactics, lol. I'm glad you're continuing to enjoy puttering around and adding to the world you've put so much time and effort into creating, I have no doubt you've created a rich back story and will have several short stories to come.

 

I am curious to see more of this Coalition in action, or at least through Xaretines. I would really like to learn more about how they work and see more of Xaretines bleeding through this first-person narrative (journal), really taking advantage of the POV to give us a unique perspective. Some of that, of course, is limited by the fact that this is a journal meant to be viewed by others rather than a stream-of-consciousness approach, and I would expect with a time delay from the actual events that might dull them or change the perspective slightly. Still, I feel like outside of a few comments (mainly with regard to the abilities of the specific Sei villagers) it may as well be a 3rd person omniscient narration. The only things I've picked up so far with regards to Xaretines himself is a) his name, b) he's part of the Coalition, has abilities with magic, and in particular with killing large amounts of people, c) is probably middle-aged due to being above a fourth level wizard (is implied), and d) is perhaps a little cantankerous or snide based on a few of his comments.

 

"You already know where I came from and how I ended up in the Coalition, so I won't regale the tale."

I found this statement extremely frustrating, because I thought it was very untrue and I definitely wanted to know more! So, here is my list of reader demands: All we know about Xaretines is that he came to try to keep the Koshi from fully conquering the Kingdom of the Sei and gaining the attention of the East.

 

1. What we don't know is how well-spread knowledge of the Coalition is (it seems to be like they would be working almost in the shadows), so I doubt he could simply introduce himself to the village of Praten an have everyone suddenly behind him... although merely mentioning his magic abilities would be enough considering their disarray. How did he even get there? Did he have to travel through the land until he found a way past the battle lines to where a good confrontation point might be, or does the Coalition allow him to somehow have real-time access (via magic?) to the knowledge that might help him target where to go and where his opposers are?

 

2. Who is the intended audience that Xaretines expects to read this account and for what purpose? The one comment he had on this seems to indicate that it's an account to bring hope to others who feel like they are stuck in an inescapable situation, so I was would assume that it's almost a memoir that would end up as a scroll in a few dusty libraries or keeps or something, however even to a "general" audience Xaretines would be influenced by the knowledge base he thinks the readers would have.

• - Would he fully want to reveal what the Coalition does to them, or is this a good thing to expose the potential danger to the West?
  - Would knowing that the Sei or Koshi may read this impact the ways he portrays them, or as a member of the Coalition does he not care?
  - Where did Xaretines come from before he became part of the Coalition? Does this bias him in any way?
  - Would Xaretines emphasis more of how intimidating the problem was (which you've started to do already in a basic layout of the forces and grounds) to fit the theme of the journal? If he's writing to encourage, would he continue to emphasize how intimidating it was to him?

 

3. When did he write this? Not that you have to explicitly lay it out, but the details might be more fuzzy or compacted if it's looking back many years later, etc. What would still seem the most important to convey at that time?

 

I don't think that you're ignoring any of these questions in what you have so far, in fact I think you're at least hinting at several of these, but having it firmly in mind if you don't already might help add some more focus and Xaretines' character in the narrative perspective. The whole Coalition idea really intrigued me, if you can't tell - so I want to know how the details of this all work out!

 

Anywho, I think this is an intriguing start to a short story, and if you can't already tell, you've piqued my interest with both the plot and style already! Looking forward to more of this, as well as popping over to the Shelves next to re-read and then move forward in MoM, although I probably will stay more on the read side and have very limited review posts for the sake of catching up in a timely manner. Looks like you have a separate Epilogue and the start of the next book as well?