The Needs of the One (NSW)

[Obi-quiet]

Rating: PG-13 (T) for some violent scenes and themes

Fandom: Merlin (BBC Series)

Summary: Arthur is the only one who can unite the land and bring magic back. It is his destiny alone. So what happens when Morgana succeeds in removing him from the picture before Merlin was around to watch his back?

Warning: Spoilers for season 4 to follow (Also, it's a LONG one-shot)

 

“The Needs of the One”

 

The old woman stood at the bottom of the rocky mountain, glancing up its heights from under the ratted shawl. Other than the particularly difficult terrain, the mountain was unremarkable; small, barren and nestled in the center of dozens of other similar landmarks, but she knew she’d found what she’d been looking for.

 

"So," she said quietly to herself. "Here is where it will end."

 

xXx

 

She came across the spell rather by happenstance. It had taken some work, but she’d just been able to convince another one of the many slave-trading groups that sauntered along the borders of the five kingdoms to her way of thinking. That’s when they’d mentioned some of the other illegal cargo they’d picked up.

 

Magical books were, to say the least, scarce these days. It was not uncommon for those bold enough (and rich enough) to try magic to seek out such books, and they would often pay hefty prices for them. Smuggling such tomes in and out of the five kingdoms proved to be a lucrative, if dangerous side business.

 

The tomes she found proved to be most useful. Morgause hadn’t been able to teach her everything, after all, and some of the books had such fabulous, painful ideas. Happily, she added many of them to her mental list of ways to make Arthur suffer and Camelot hers.

 

After all, one of them had to work, especially with the recent discovery of Emrys’ true identity.

 

Oh yes, if she ever had that…boy in her clutches again…. It galled her like nothing else that she’d had him in her power—under her control even—and still had not discovered his true power.

 

Begrudgingly, she had to admit that he was a far better actor than he let on. Either that or he really was a hopeless fool with a seemingly bottomless supply of loyalty. She would not be surprised if either—or perhaps even a little of both theories proved to be true.

 

One of the final books she withdrew from the bottom of a particularly large, weathered chest proved to be a discovery beyond anything she could have hoped for. The old, leather covering practically decayed in her hands, age and elements having seemingly combined forces to destroy it. Only a few old magical charms kept the words readable. With careful fingers, she turned the brittle pages and studied some of the darkest secrets known to man. Many of them surpassed even her comprehension.

 

The moment her eyes landed on the page, though, she knew she had come across something far more precious and valuable than all of her and her sister’s previous knowledge combined. Her hands trembled, and she felt the familiar stirrings of excited butterflies in her stomach.

 

Let the “king” and his fool magician try to stop this one.

 

It took her months to gather all the ingredients and sacrifices, the latter mainly because they had to be willing sacrifices. In the end, she realized all she had to do was get someone to confess, whether they truly meant it or not. So she would travel from town to town, tricking tavern men into following her. Once alone, it was simply a matter of getting them to repeat something along the lines of how they would die for her (easily done as most of them tended to be in a drunken stupor and would say just about anything she wanted them to) before she would kill them with that promise on their breath. Afterwards, she would extract the organs and blood necessary before disposing of the rest of the body in magical flame. Then she would smirk as she walked away from the ashes that remained, wondering on how such stupid men had survived for as long as they had.

 

When she finally had what she needed, it took an additional seven months of waiting for the stars to align correctly, but the moment they did, she killed her final sacrifice and invoked magic far more deep and dangerous than anything she’d ever dreamed of doing before, and gave her own price.

 

Then, all she could remember was screaming for what seemed like forever. It felt as if her very soul was being ripped apart, and while the sensation held no physical pain, it was by no means pleasant. Then it stopped, and the woods around her faded to darkness.

 

When she opened her eyes again, it was to the sound of rings clinking together and light streaming through curtains. She hadn’t slept in a bed this soft in…years. And then she looked up to see the smiling, dark features of an old friend-turned-enemy.

 

“Good morning, Milady,” Guinevere said with a genuine smile. “Did you sleep well?”

 

She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her own face. It had worked.

 

“Better than I have in years, Gwen.”

 

xXx

 

With a younger, fresher body, it would be a feat to climb the hill. With her aged and broken body, it would be practically impossible. She knew this, as she leaned heavily on the old, twisted cane, but began the trek nonetheless.

 

It took her days to ascend what would have taken anyone even half her age to climb in hours, but she did not give up.

 

By the early afternoon of the fourth day since her journey up the rocky terrain began, she finally reached her destination: The cave at the top.

 

xXx

 

“I met a boy today who stood up to Arthur,” Gwen said conversationally as she helped her lady dress.

 

Morgana’s heart nearly stopped. She remembered this conversation.

 

“Oh?”

 

“He ended up in the stocks for it,” the dark-skinned girl said with more than a touch of disapproval. “But he was very brave.”

 

“Who is he?” the fair-skinned woman asked, the very picture of polite interest.

 

“Giaus’ new apprentice, from what I understand,” the servant said as she snapped the last fastener into place.

 

At that Morgana turned around, blinking innocently. “What was his name?”

 

Gwen smiled fondly. “Merlin.”

 

xXx

 

She cornered him in Giaus’ chambers later that evening.

 

“Giaus?” she asked, slipping into the room. The tall, lanky figure of the man she had come to know and despise—the man prophesied to be her doom—turned comically from the table where he’d been working, consequently knocking several vials on the floor.

 

She couldn’t help but raise a skeptical eyebrow as he immediately knelt, wincing at the mess he’d made. This would be the greatest sorcerer to ever live?

 

“Sorry,” he muttered, kneeling to clean the mess. “Giaus isn’t here. He’s gone down to the lower town on request.”

 

Of course he had. Morgana had arranged it.

 

“Oh, I see. I don’t believe we have met. I am Morgana, the King’s ward,” she said with a smile, stepping forward and holding her hand out. Looking unsure at what to do, he eventually realized he was supposed to take her hand and kiss it and did so awkwardly from the floor. Morgana tried not to snort. The boy probably didn’t even realize the importance or the implication of the gesture. Ladies only allowed men to take their hand when being introduced to knights and noblemen; respected people, not servants. She wondered if he’d ever look back on this and wonder or if it would always just pass him by. Simpleton. “I’ve come for a sleeping draft. He usually sends one to my chambers.”

 

Merlin looked around helplessly. “I am afraid I don’t know where I would find it.” He began to search clumsily through the bottles of liquids on the tables and shelves around the room. “Do you know what it looks like?”

 

“Do you always address a lady in such a fashion?” she asked, hoping her forced amusement hid her annoyance.

 

He immediately stiffened and turned around, bowing deeply. “Forgive me, Mi’lady. I meant no harm.”

 

She smiled. “Of course not. Do not worry, I do not often hold to such formalities.”

 

He seemed to realize she was teasing him and blushed. If she didn’t absolutely hate the boy, she might have admitted he did look a little cute like that.

 

For a back-stabbing murderer and chronic liar, that was.

 

“The potion is usually purple, or blue,” she commented. Her sudden reminder had him looking through the bottles again.

 

“I will find it,” he told her without turning around, half distracted, half determined.

 

“I hear that you stood up to Arthur today?” she said, the barest smirk coming to her face.

 

He paused looking both annoyed and embarrassed. Really, had he always been this much of an open book? “I didn’t do much,” he said, that carefree grin coming easily to his face. It was the grin he’d lost somewhere along the way, sometime in the future. The smile she would assure that he lost again, far sooner if she had anything to do about it.

 

“Don’t put yourself down,” Morgana berated. “It isn’t easy to stand up to the prince.”

 

“To be fair,” he said as he straightened and scratched the top of his head absentmindedly, “I didn’t actually know he was the prince.”

 

“Oh? Would you have voiced your opinion of him if you had known?”

 

He looked over at her for a moment, and then back at the bottles on the shelf he’d moved to, although he did not resume searching. “I hope so. A royal status does not give him the right to act like such a…” he suddenly realized who he was talking to and faded off. Then he turned and bowed to her again. “Forgive me, Mi’lady. I did not—“

 

“Don’t,” she said with a wave of her hand. “You can speak your mind with me. Truly.” He glanced up at her, relieved and wary at the same time, so she decided to coax his opinion out. “Doesn’t give him the right to act like such a what?”

 

“A…a prat,” he muttered, blush returning.

 

Morgana couldn’t believe it. Had he really been this trusting—this naïve from the beginning? Perhaps this would be too easy…but no, she couldn’t let herself believe that. She didn’t dare when it came to Merlin.

 

He stood there, in the middle of the room shifting uncomfortably, as if he waited for her to declare him executed for such insolence.

 

She would not make it that easy on him.

 

And with that knowledge, she also knew just the perfect reaction. After a few moments of staring at him, she burst into laughter.

 

“He is a bit of a prat, isn’t he?” she confirmed.

 

The dark-haired boy visibly relaxed even more, grinning from ear to ear. “And arrogant.”

 

Seeing as she couldn’t agree more, it wasn’t that difficult to force herself to laugh harder (she hoped it didn’t sound too forced, as she hadn’t had much of a reason outright laugh of late). Then, nodding, she glanced back at him. “Oh, I love him like a brother, but you’re right; he is horribly arrogant, and pushy. I am afraid that it comes with the territory of being the heir to the throne.”

 

Merlin smiled at her, now completely at ease, much to her pleasure. “I suppose he does have a lot to live up to,” the boy conceded.

 

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Morgana said, wiping the last forced tear of laughter from her eye.

 

He watched her for a moment, before bowing somewhat gracefully. “Anything for you, Mi’lady.”

 

It took every ounce of her willpower to keep the triumph from showing on her face.

 

xXx

 

Her knowledge of what lay inside the cave began to bring the memories back again. They no longer haunted her as they once had. She’d had far too long to contemplate them. Magic, it seemed, allowed one to age more slowly; the more magic one had, the more slowly they would age. She’d had decades to witness the consequences of her mistakes, and had finally come to terms with them.

 

That didn’t mean those memories didn’t still hurt.

 

xXx

 

Lady Helen. Morgana vaguely remembered what happened with her. The kingdom’s most honored singer. All she really recalled from the time was that the woman had been a sorceress after Arthur’s life to make Uther suffer.

 

A woman after her own heart.

 

“Lady Morgana,” the woman who answered the door said, surprise and more than a little wariness washing through her features before she put on the mask of friendliness. It made Morgana sick. She’d had to wear that mask all too often herself.

 

“Lady Helen, I wish to speak with you,” she said, feeling all too conspicuous in her old, green cloak as she stood in the citadel’s cold, stone halls. In her mind, she had not been welcomed here for over a year. Some things, it seemed, took time to unlearn.

 

The woman impersonating Lady Helen blinked cautiously, but Morgana knew she’d won. The musical sorceress couldn’t very well refuse without a good reason.

 

“Of course,” she said with a forced smile that would seem very real if Morgana didn’t know the woman’s exact intentions. “Please come in. Just let me tidy up…” With that, she walked away from the door and over to the desk as if to straighten it. The first thing she did was cover the mirror.

 

“There is no need,” Morgana said softly as she shut the door behind her. “I know you are a sorceress. The woman from the other day who lost her son to the hands of Uther, I presume.” The woman froze, and Morgana continued in a soothing voice. “You need not fear me. I too, have magic.”

 

The woman spun around in surprise as the lady of the castle continued. “I see how all are treated and how magic is feared. I see injustice done every day and so I come to you to let you know that I wish to help in your endeavors to slay the prince.”

 

“Why should I trust you?” the woman asked suspiciously.

 

“You want Uther to suffer. I want to rule Camelot as I should. When I gain the crown, rest assured that you and all of our kin will no longer have to run or hide. I will remove the ban on magic and make restitution for all those who suffered at Uther’s hand!”

 

The woman shook her head as if to clear it. “It is a nice dream, but cannot be. You have no legitimate claim to the throne. The knights and other lords will not swear loyalty to you.”

 

“Trust me,” Morgana smiled cruelly. “I’ve already taken care of that. I just need you to go through with your plan.”

 

Again, the suspicion came back in the form of narrowed eyes. “So why did you come to me?”

 

“Because there is a boy; a nuisance who will thwart your plan. His name is Merlin; a serving boy who has innate magic. He will be able to resist your spell.”

 

“Innate magic?” the woman said, taken aback. “I have never heard of such a thing!”

 

“He wouldn’t be the first case, although it is rare,” Morgana conceded. After all, she’d had innate magic of her own. The words of the Cailleach echoed in her mind. Her destiny and her doom? Well, she would make certain that never happened. And she would torture him slowly once she had harnassed his loyalty and magic.

 

The woman was now pacing the room. “Why would he stop me?”

 

Morgana shook her head. “He is one of the most loyal subjects to the crown, despite his magic. Do not ask me why, for that is something that I cannot fathom.”

 

“What can I do then?” the woman asked, running her fingers through her hair nervously.

 

“I want you to leave me out of the enchantment,” Morgana said. “I will take care of Merlin, you take care of Arthur, and then, after Uther has suffered, I will finish him off.”

 

The sorceress eyed her again, confusion plain on her face. “Why do you not simply protect yourself magically?”

 

Morgana frowned. “During a recent spell, I was required to give a large price; my magic. It has yet to return.”

 

A small, confident smirk appeared on the woman’s face. “Then I could kill you right now.”

 

A flare of anger sprung from Morgana, but she suppressed it. Now was not the time. “You could try, although you should be warned that I can protect myself, magic or not. If you do somehow kill me, though, you will die before you see Uther suffer. It is your choice.”

 

Afer a few seconds of contemplation, the sorceress seemed to come to a decision. Turning to the desk again, she began to rummage through the top drawer. Finally, she pulled out a scrap of cloth, said some words over it, and once again faced Morgana.

 

“Tear this into pieces and place the scraps in your ears,” she said. “If you let it slip, it will not protect you. If you betray me, I will make you pay.”

 

Morgana almost laughed out loud at the threat. She may not have magic, but that did not mean she could not best such a weak sorceress. “You need not worry,” Morgana replied. “Soon you will see Uther’s ultimate suffering. That is what you wish, is it not?”

 

The woman didn’t hesitate to grin, her own anger causing it to match Morgana’s. “Yes.”

 

xXx

 

It was a matter of timing, really. As soon as Helen started to sing, she slipped the scraps of cloth into her ears. Merlin, eyes fixed on the entertainment, didn’t notice a thing. Neither did Arthur or Uther.

 

Not long afterwards, the nobles at the banquet began to fall asleep. She kept her eye on Merlin, whose smile had begun to melt into an expression of confusion with just a touch of fear. Now was the time. She made eye-contact with the singer and nodded. Then she stood.

 

“W-what is happening?” she asked. “Everyone…falling…why?” Ever the actress, she stumbled against her chair, putting a hand to her head. The Sorceress didn’t stop singing. No one stirred at Morgana’s outbust except Merlin.

 

Cobwebs began to form, a sign of the spell taking hold. No one within those magical webs would be able to break out of the spell as long as she continued to sing.

 

Rushing forward, the warlock got to Morgana just in time to catch her as she collapsed.

 

“My Lady?!” he asked.

 

“It’s…a spell…” she whispered to him. Confused and alarmed, he looked from her back to the enchantress who had just taken out a knife. “Merlin,” Morgana said, distracting him. “Protect…”

 

SHING!

 

“NO!” Merlin shouted, but the deed had been done. A dagger stuck from the prince’s heart, and the music stopped. People began to wake, looking around, confused, but the sorceress had vanished. Again playing her part, Morgana made to sit up.

 

“My Lady?” Merlin asked.

 

“Arthur!” she gasped. Merlin followed only to be stopped by a scream of pain from the king.

 

“NOOOO! Arthur! My son! Giaus!”

 

Hushed whispers ran through the room as the physician rushed forward. No one thought to look at Morgana, so no one—not even Merlin—saw her smile.

 

xXx

 

Gais pronounced Arthur dead on examination. In a fit of rage and devastation, Uther sent practically the entire guard to search the city and country for the sorceress and Lady Helen. Then he locked himself in his room and refused to allow anyone inside.

 

That’s when Morgana approached Merlin again.

 

“Giaus?” she asked, stepping into the room. From his place at the table, miserably looking over something Morgana didn’t care to know about, Merlin looked up.

 

“Mi’lady,” he said, standing. “Giaus isn’t here.”

 

“We have to stop meeting like this,” she said with a smile. He didn’t return it, so Morgana cocked her head.

 

“F-forgive me!” He burst out as he bowed.

 

She blinked. “Forgive you for what?”

 

He shook his head. “You tried to warn me that it was a spell. I could have saved him. I could have—“ He stopped, shaking his head. “I didn’t want him to die.”

 

“Oh, Merlin, none of us did. Please do not feel guilty. There was nothing you could have done.”

 

“But there is!”

 

She raised an eyebrow. “Because you have magic?”

 

Oh, how she enjoyed seeing his face pale in pure fear like that. “H-how…No. Of course I don’t! What?”

 

He always had been a lousy liar. Really it surprised her that he’d been able to keep his secret for a week, let alone almost a decade. “I know, because I have magic too.”

 

The fear melted into absolute shock. “Y-you do?”

 

“I used to,” she said. “I’ve been having problems with it lately.”

 

“But the king…and you…and…”

 

“Now you see what I’ve been hiding? Now you see what I’ve had to live with? It is such a relief to find someone else who knows how I feel. Who reacts as I do.” She took a step closer. “That is how I knew. The magic of Lady Helen’s spell couldn’t have as strong of an effect on me because I have my own magic. That’s how I knew you had some as well.”

 

He gulped, looking around, blue eyes swishing from side to sid,e as if to find an escape route. Foolish boy, you cannot escape me. She thought, but refused to let the merest hint of her assurance or triumph show on her face.

 

“You do not need to worry, Merlin. I will not share your secret, as long as you do not reveal mine.”

 

A breath of relief. “No, never,” he promised. “I just…can’t believe it.”

 

“I couldn’t either,” she said. “But we need to use that magic to protect the king.”

 

“How?” he asked, depression setting in again. “You see how useless I am. If I try and actually succeed, he’ll kill me within the week.”

 

“Study with me,” she said. “In the ways of the old religion. We’ll make progress together.” And she could use his powers for her own plans and agendas. She could also steer his progress while gaining more knowledge herself.

 

His eyes widened at her suggestion. “But the king—the laws—“

 

“In secret, of course,” she said, then looked down. “I came to you beause we are both magic. We are kin. I know I can trust you.” Of course she’d never take any food or drink he offered, and she’d never turn her back on him, but he didn’t have to know that, did he? “Don’t tell anyone about me,” she commented. “Not even Giaus.”

 

He shook his head. “But Giaus already knows about me. He could help us.”

 

“I can’t trust him…not yet,” she insisted. “I’ve been hiding this too long. Please?”

 

Merlin studied her for a few moments before nodding his head. “As you wish, My Lady.”

 

“Morgana,” she said with a grin. “Call me Morgana.”

 

xXx

 

Taking a moment to rest her old bones, she found a decent seat just inside the mouth of the gaping hole that lead down into the earth. Leaning her cane against the rock, she took her water skin out and drained what was left.

 

“So,” a voice from the cave rumbled out to meet her. “The crazy witch seeks me out.”

 

xXx

 

Uther was dead within the month. She honestly couldn’t believe how spineless she’d been before to have let the man live as long as he had. It had been a matter of contacting her (rather surprised) sister and obtaining a few enchanted objects.

 

Surprisingly, Merlin did not interfere, not that she let him find out about anything. He’d had free reign of most of the castle in her previous life. Now he didn’t, and as such didn’t discover her plans so easily.

 

A week after the king’s death, she revealed herself as Uther’s daughter. Then, with the support of the kingdom, she was crowned queen. Unlike her previous bid, very few refused to pledge loyalty.

 

That’s when she began working on releasing the ban on magic. Once Morgause came to the castle—on Morgana’s request—they realized they only needed to announce that the king’s death had resulted from the enemies he’d made when he had outlawed the old ways.

 

Now, as she stood on the balcony for her official announcement, she couldn’t help but truly believe for the first time that she could change the land.

 

It was a good feeling.

 

“My father was a great king,” she said loudly to the crowd below. “But he was also a man, one who made many mistakes. I will not repeat those mistakes. Magic comes from the land and it returns to the land. As such, the law oppressing those who wish to practice magic is officially lifted!”

 

The cheering was not as loud as she hoped, but it was there. The people would see in time. If they didn’t, she’d make them.

 

Glancing to the side, she saw Giaus and Merlin sanding in the background as they always did. She’d specially requested their presence.

 

“I also come to announce a reinstatement of the position of court magician, and the person who will fill that role! Chosen from among you, he is a young man with outstanding talents!” Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as he blanched and allowed a smirk to appear on her face. Oh, how she enjoyed even this small act of retribution.

 

“His name is Merlin!”

 

He and Giaus both were far too stunned to move, which was good, as he couldn’t gain his senses quickly enough to run away when she gestured for him to come forward. The guards had to push him.

 

And all he did was stand there like a fool.

 

Oh yes, revenge was sweet.

 

xXx

 

“Why did you do that, Morgana?” Merlin asked as he walked up to her, visibly distressed. She had been about to retire to her bed and as such, was alone for the first time that day. She wondered if he’d been looking for a chance to confront her all evening. Wiping the smile from her face to hide her merriment at his reaction, she turned from the door to her chambers to face him as he stopped in front of her.

 

“There is no one else I trust more,” she replied, blinking innocently despite her lie. She could never trust Merlin again. She also could not afford to let him out of her sight, so she needed him to trust her. “As a new ruler, I intend to surround myself with people I can count on.”

 

“But magic hasn’t been accepted by the people of the kingdom, yet! Everyone but Giaus is avoiding me, like I have some sort of disease or something.”

 

“And that is exactly what needs to be changed,” she insisted. “Isn’t that what we agreed earlier? Who else better to change the people’s opinion than you?”

 

He frowned. “We didn’t exactly put it that way.”

 

She sighed inwardly; time to turn on the sympathy. “I can see that I’ve upset you,” she said softly. “I had only thought… But you are correct in that I should have spoken to you beforehand. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me, Merlin?”

 

The slightly troubled look of contemplation fell over his face. “I understand why,” he said slowly after a few moments. “I just wish I would have had more time to prepare for it. I would gladly join your court, if that is your wish, Your Majesty.”

 

She smiled at him. “Thank you, Merlin.” Reaching up, she laid a hand on his shoulder, just to see him try not to flinch away. How she loved making this traitor feel uncomfortable.

 

“Um,” he said, still sounding nervous. “Even though I’m court magician, can I still stay apprenticed to Giaus?”

 

A small frown flitted across her face. That was the last thing she wanted. “You are part of the court now, Merlin. I had already arranged for new quarters for you.”

 

He shifted again. “It’s just that he knows so much that I don’t. Besides, I would feel bad leaving him alone again.”

 

“He’s been that way for years now. Surely he can cope again,” she pointed out.

 

“I just…please, Morgana. I’m asking you not as your subject, but as your friend.”

 

She almost cursed aloud right then and there. With those words, she had to accept his request. If she denied it, he would feel she no longer saw him as a friend. The problem was, she still did not want him around Giaus. Those two together were far more dangerous than either one alone, which said a great deal.

 

Of course, now they were supposedly on her side, and that could prove useful if she played her hand correctly.

 

“Very well,” she said, forcing another smile. “If you feel that strongly about it, you shall remain apprenticed to Giaus.”

 

He returned her grin, full force. “Thank you, Your Majesty,” he said.

 

“I will see you tomorrow morning for the court meeting,” she said with a nod as he bowed and turned to leave.

 

“Oh, and Merlin,” he paused and turned back. “You may want to find something more suitable to wear for tomorrow.”

 

xXx

 

Morgause entered her sister’s room the next morning, looking as if she’d come to a decision of her own. Without preamble, she immediately started on her confrontation. Of course, that was Morgause: Direct and to the point. Morgana wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“Why did you name him court magician, sister?” she asked, sounding affronted. “Did you not say you trusted me?”

 

Morgana turned to her closest friend and shook her head as she picked up and held the other’s hands. “It is simple, sister: I would rather have him in danger than you. You are far more dear to me than he ever could be, and, until the stirrings my changes have caused to the kingdom have settled, I wish to keep you by my side and safe. I plan to name you my advisor today when the counsel convenes, but I want him in the public eye, not you. Not yet.”

 

Morgause didn’t look too happy about the answer, but she accepted it. For now, that was all Morgana needed.

 

xXx

 

“So,” a voice from the cave rumbled out to meet her. “The crazy witch seeks me out.” Turning her head, she glanced into the darkness, but her failing eyesight brought back nothing.

 

“Of course I seek you. You are the only link left to the past,” the woman replied softly. Reaching up, she tugged the shawl off of her scalp and onto her shoulders, revealing a head of thin, straggly, white hair tied into a small bun at the nape of her neck. Small strands escaped it, flying around her head as they tried to defy gravity. Skin draped down off of her face, spotted and wrinkled with age. Sad, grey-green eyes peeked out from under drooping eyelids. The tired color almost matched the rags that clothed her thin, frail body.

 

The voice from the cave chuckled mirthlessly. “So you have regained your senses.”

 

“How can I regain something I never had?” she replied, voice croaking with age.

 

“The years have not been good to you.” Then the voice did something she never thought it would; it called her by name.

 

xXx

 

After a few weeks as queen, she made a pilgrimage to see her father’s grave; her real father, not Uther. In her mind, the previous king would never be her father. She took Morgause with her, and they traveled to pay respects to the man who had raised her.

 

After dismissing the guards, she sat with Morgause and explained everything. She told of the alternate future where Arthur had survived and gained Merlin for a servant. Then she told of how Uther had kept the truth of her heritage from her, and how Arthur had been named king. She told of Merlin and his ability to keep his magic secret for years; of how he poisoned her to save the kingdom and lost her trust forever; of his identity as Emrys and how it had been foretold that he would be her doom. She told of Morgause sacrificing herself to release the spirits of the dead upon the world as her last gift to her sister. She told of her conquests to gain Camelot as her own, as it should be, and her failure in so many instances.

 

Then, finally, she told her sister why she could no longer use magic.

 

“It was the price I had to pay,” she said softly. “You told me, sister, that all magic has a price. Normally that price is simply energy from the body, but the more the magic effects, the larger the price required.”

 

“As the priestesses taught me,” Morgause agreed with a nod, her voice equally quiet. “You sacrificed your magic to return to the past.”

 

“Yes,” Morgana answered, tear trickling down her cheek. “And I do not know if it will return. That is why I need you, and why I do not banish Merlin for all he has done. I need your magics. Do you understand?”

 

Morgause put a hand to her sister’s cheek. “Of course I do, sister. Now that we have found each other, know that I will never leave your side.”

 

Morgana felt such gratitude at the statement that she couldn’t help but slump in relief. Then she looked up, meeting her sister’s dark eyes. “Please, sister, tell no one of this.”

 

Morgause gathered her sister into her arms. “I would never do such a thing,” she whispered.

 

Not long afterwards, the guards came to inform them it was time to leave. Morgana returned to Camelot feeling much lighter than she had before.

 

xXx

 

Merlin was getting good at using his magic. It worried Morgana as he seemed to be growing at a much more rapid pace than she remembered. Of course, that was the point of lifting the ban on magic, but it still worried her. It only gave her comfort to know that he was not the only one.

 

Many of the other countries had also placed bans on anything to do with the old religion when Uther had, and as such more than a few hopeful magic users traveled to Camelot to set up residence. They too seemed to be growing and learning the old ways again. It pleased Morgana to see this, although it seemed that many of those people still suffered injustice at the hands of those who did not use magic; those who feared them.

 

It set Morgana’s blood to boil whenever she heard of such cases.

 

That led to the creation of a group of mage-knights who answered only to the Queen and Morgause (although in the coming years many would seek advice from Merlin, much to the sisters’ displeasure). Their job was to right the wrongs that had been done to those who wished to practice magic.

 

She knew many would abuse their power, but as long as the message got across, she didn’t particularly care. In her opinion, it served them all right for denying magic and supporting Uther to begin with.

 

Not surprisingly, Merlin spoke against the group. It would be the first time he spoke against Morgana. It wouldn’t be the last.

 

xXx

 

“Your sister doesn’t like me,” Merlin commented one night after a ‘study session’ of magic several months into her reign. Morgana had asked Morgause to come and study with her and the warlock as they pursued their magical studies. As such, her magician and her sister interacted far more than they had in her original life. Familiarity, it seemed, breathed contempt.

 

Morgana dismissed this with a wave of her hand. “She is simply overprotective.”

 

“I think she may mean to kill me.”

 

Morgana froze in her tracks. “Why would you ever think such a thing?” she asked. Morgause would never go against her sister’s wishes. Ever. She knew Morgana needed Merlin for their plans to succeed.

 

Merlin glanced around nervously, still looking ridiculous in the robe he’d bought months before as the ‘something that was more fitting for counsel meetings’. She had figured his taste would be lacking (that had been the point, after all), but didn’t realize just how badly until he’d shown up that morning.

 

And yet, he somehow still managed to pull off looking and sounding ‘wise’ every now and then.

 

Now, however, was not one of those times.

 

“Someone told me as much,” he said, shifting nervously.

 

“Who?” she asked angrily. Who would dare speak against her sister in such a manner?!

 

He swallowed and looked at his feet. “The Great Dragon.”

 

She felt her eyes go wide in surprise. “You’ve been speaking with the Great Dragon?” she asked. Of course! Uther had trapped the last dragon below her city. The realization that such a magnificent, magical creature lived beneath Camelot had never even crossed her mind.

 

“Yes,” he replied, still shuffling nervously. “Not often, though,” he amended when she didn’t respond.

 

“How long have you been seeing him?” she asked, her mind only just coming out of the numb shock that had settled over it.

 

“Er…since I first arrived in Camelot.”

 

She put a hand on her forehead. Just what would this entail? Did that count as having a dragon under her power or was it loyal to Merlin alone? How could this information help in her future plans for uniting Albion under her rule?

 

“Could you take me to him?” she asked, unable to keep her eagerness from showing.

 

His face paled as he backed up, shaking his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He doesn’t really like you.”

 

“That is because he believes I will rule as Uther did. Please take me to him so I may put his worries to rest!”

 

Merlin still didn’t look convinced, but he nodded anyway. “Follow me.”

 

He lead her down the cold, stone halls to the dungeons, and then even further. The stairwell they eventually ended up in had cobwebs practically lining the walls, and besides the few stirrings of footprints in the dust on the stairs, it looked as if it hadn’t seen a human being for decades.

 

Finally, he led her onto a precipice that jutted into in a cave larger than she thought could possibly exist. All of this rested below Camelot? The very idea overwhelmed her.

 

“Hello?” Merlin yelled. Nothing answered.

 

As impressed as she was at the sight of the cave, she couldn’t help but glance expectantly over at Merlin. He chuckled nervously before clearing his throat and yelling out again.

 

That’s when she heard the flapping and clinking of a large chain. Then the beast dove at them, roaring. The queen caught sight of its mouth, open and glowing and couldn’t help the shriek of fear that escaped her lips, nor could she get back to the gate and up the stairs before the fire reached them. Merlin seemed to realize the same thing because he backed up a step, shoving her behind him protectively.

 

“Dragon? Dragon! No!”

 

The flame was already coming towards them, and all she could do was helplessly shriek and cower behind Merlin. She felt useless, worthless, pathetic and hardly worthy of her royal title at that moment. Then Merlin shouted some familiar words, and she looked up to see the fire hit a magical shield.

 

The giant lizard landed atop of a large rock just across the cavern. His head still almost reached them.

 

As she watched the beast, she suddenly felt the stirrings of anger and resentment build in her heart, replacing the fear. How long had it been since she’d truly felt afraid? And now this chained beast thought he could get the better of her?

 

“Stand aside, Merlin,” the dragon growled, his voice rumbling the very ground they stood on.

 

“No!” Merlin insisted.

 

“That is the witch that will lay destruction upon Albion! Stand aside, I say!”

 

“Never!” Merlin shot back, and for an instant, she saw why the druids spoke of him with such fear and reverence. He no longer looked like the nervous boy who tended to dodge gazes and skirt around subjects. No, instead of the clumsy servant she was used to seeing, he looked every inch the powerful wizard he would be come. Defiant and firm, he refused to back down, even in the face of this monstrous beast.

 

The dragon shrieked his displeasure to the cave walls, causing them to shake all over again. “Why do you refuse to listen to me?!”

 

“I brought her here because she wanted to speak with you! To make peace with you!”

 

“I will never again believe the word of a Pendragon!” the dragon insisted. “Especially not one who believes in the ways of Uther.”

 

That brought Morgana’s rage to full bearing and she stepped out from behind Merlin. “I do not!” she denied. “I am nothing like my father! I respect the land and the magic in it! I will not put people to death unjustly or because I do not agree with their ways!”

 

“And yet you allow those who do not practice magic to be persecuted by those who do. When Uther banned magic, as much as I loathe to admit such a thing, he brought peace to the land. He did many unspeakable things. He destroyed my kind and yours, then trapped me here and left me to rot under the guise of peace. For that I can never forgive him. But he did so because he truly believed what he was doing was right. You cannot even claim that anymore.”

 

“How dare you,” Morgana started, but the dragon cut her off.

 

“How dare you! You who used to be good, who used to wish only to help people! Now you only care for your conquest, regardless of the consequences, and turn a blind eye to your sister’s doings!”

 

That brought Morgana up short. “My sister’s doings?”

 

“She plans on destroying Merlin on your behalf! She believes he has wronged you when he has not! Your anger and distrust towards him are unfounded, witch. The crimes you blame him for have not happened in this lifetime!”

 

Her breath hitched in her lungs and she almost felt her heart stop. He knew! How could he know that?!

 

Apparently the dragon sensed her distress, because he chuckled darkly. “You think you can keep your secret, but it will be your undoing. Arthur should have been king. Only he could have united those not of magic and those of magic in the land of Albion. Now that you have killed him, you have doomed your own kingdom.”

 

“She did not kill him!” Merlin exclaimed in her defense. “It was a sorceress under magical disguise!”

 

The dragon chuckled again, although while it still held no mirth, it did not seem as dark or foreboding as it had been before. Now it just seemed…sad.

 

“If that is what you wish to believe.”

 

Merlin shook his head. “Come, My Lady. I knew this was a bad idea.”

 

In her shock and surprise, she allowed him to lead her from the cave and back to her room, where Gwen met them and helped her prepare for bed. Even the bracelet she’d again acquired from Morgause didn’t stop the horrible dreams from coming that night, as most of them were memories.

 

xXx

 

Shortly thereafter, she began her campaign to take the other kingdoms, some by subterfuge and some by force. No matter what the dragon said, she would unite the five kingdoms and the lands beyond.

 

That was when Merlin started to really ask questions; challenge her even. She had little choice but to at least pretend to listen to his counsel so as to retain his loyalty, much to Morgause’s disappointment.

 

“Sister, why do you entertain such foolish notions? He stands between us and the other kingdoms! He is obsessed with peace and—“

 

“He is the most powerful magic user in the entire country. If he’s not with us, he is against us. Trust me, sister, we do not want him as an enemy,” Morgana pointed out.

 

“Then perhaps,” the blond said with a smirk, “it is time we relieved him of the choice.”

 

Morgana looked over at her sister and couldn’t help the sadness and touch of betrayal she felt. So the dragon had been right. Morgause was planning on taking Merlin’s life. At least she had waited for Morgana’s approval. Finally she shook her head, dismissing the idea firmly. “Why do that when his power serves us so well now?”

 

Morgause’s gaze darkened. “He has blinded you, sister.” With that, she turned and stalked off.

 

The dark-haired woman watched her sister leave for several seconds. Then images of the utter power Merlin commanded came to mind, and she shook her head. “Perhaps,” she said to herself with a sigh, “it is not me who is blinded.”

 

xXx

 

She sent him away to study with the druids after that. He was hurt, but he hadn’t questioned her, probably because he knew why. It had come down to a decision between him and her sister, and she would choose her sister every time. That did not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that she wanted him out of her sight. Problem was, she still had so many uses for him and his magic.

 

She wasn’t willing to let that kind of power go just yet, or she would have let Morgause kill him.

 

Well, try to kill him. With what she knew of him from her other life and knowing how much raw power he had, she wasn’t sure he could be killed anymore.

 

But she wasn’t afraid. No. She could never be afraid of the clumsy, half-wit peasant who happened to be born with the ability to destroy the entire world with a thought if he so desired.

 

At least not to a point where she’d admit it.

 

With him ‘out of the way’ as Morgause so aptly put it, Morgana put her plans for conquering the other kingdoms into effect.

 

In less than a year, war had been declared.

 

xXx

 

“The years have not been good to you.” Then the voice did something she never thought it would; it called her by name.

 

The irony was not lost on her, but she shook her head, ignoring it. “I have not been good to myself.”

 

The voice seemed to consider this as silence fell over them. Finally, the old witch rose, hobbling towards the voice on her cane.

 

“Why is it that you can call me by name now? I believe that is the first time I have heard my name come from your lips.”

 

“This is the first time I have spoken to you when you have enough senses to comprehend my words.”

 

She snorted. “We could debate the subject.”

 

For once, the voice seemed to gain a touch of humor. “We could.”

 

xXx

 

Three years after Merlin’s departure from Camelot

 

The phrase ‘torn by war’ had never seemed so true. As Morgana sat atop her horse in the lead of her army against yet another kingdom that refused to bow to her, she couldn’t help but see the men who had fought for her. They had been replaced again and again as more and more of them fell. Most of both the magical and non-magical knights had long since died, with only four or five left at the commanding posts. They were outnumbered three to one, and the opposing sides had finally gotten intelligent enough to bring in sorcerers.

 

This would be no easy victory.

 

It wouldn’t be a total loss, as they had the high ground, but that could only count for so much. Of course, that didn’t mean she didn’t have an ace up her sleeve.

 

“We camp here,” Morgana told Morgause. “Spread the word.”

 

“Of course, sister,” the blond woman replied easily. When she had left, Morgana let out a sigh. She’d gotten tired as of late. So very tired. But she would not show her weakness in front of her sister or her men. No, she had to be strong for Morgause as the other had always been for Morgana.

 

“Your majesty!” a guard said, kneeling before her horse. “We caught someone trying to sneak into the camp. We believe him to be an enemy scout.”

 

Another one. They’d caught enough, and in return had had many of their own scouts taken by the other side. “Very well. Set up my tent and bring him there.”

 

“Yes, Highness,” the guard said before turning and marching off.

 

It didn’t take them long to set up camp, and her tent was the one erected first, of course. She’d counted on it. Morgause would still be out among the men and, Morgana could see to the scout herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her sister, it was more that she didn’t care for the glint of pleasure she’d seen the blond gain whenever they tortured someone as of late.

 

It took them maybe twenty minutes to bring the prisoner before her.

 

One look at him, and she knew she shouldn’t be surprised.

 

“Merlin.”

 

“Morgana, you have to—“ He cut off as one of the guards punched him in the stomach.

 

“Speak more respectfully to the queen!”

 

Morgana wanted to sigh and shake her head. Instead, she narrowed her eyes. “Leave us.”

 

“But your majesty—“

 

“Are you questioning my orders? I can handle myself. Now leave us!” Reluctantly, they did as they asked, leaving Morgana to pace slowly and deliberately in front of her supposed court magician.

 

“I should have known,” she said softly. “You always did end up turning traitor.”

 

She expected a questioning response, or one of confusion and surprise. Instead, she received a sad comprehension, and somehow, she knew that he knew.

 

“Please, Morgana, you have to stop this.”

 

“Why?” she asked. “My conquest is nearly complete! I have almost gained control of the whole of Albion! Why should I quit now when my goal is so near?”

 

“Because,” he looked up with that defiant gaze that always managed to make her blood boil. “If you fight this war, there will not be enough of Albion left to claim! This is a last ditch effort on their part, not merely to stop you but to survive!”

 

Morgana shook her head. “Always for the best of Albion.”

 

“I will only do what my queen will not.”

 

“How dare you!” she turned, magic flaring, grateful that it had finally begun to return, although she had nowhere near the power she’d had before. He didn’t resist her yanking him into the air helplessly. He could have, she knew.

 

“Morgana,” he said calmly, “once you listened to my counsel. I have no different goal now than I did then.”

 

She scoffed. “That just proves you were as much of a traitor then as you are now.”

 

“I’m not a traitor! I didn’t poison you!”

 

His words froze her to the spot, and she found she couldn’t respond. He took it as a sign to continue. “That was another me, another time, another place. None of that could happen now.”

 

“So you do know.”

 

“The druids helped me learn to see,” he said softly. “But you should know that I have only ever been loyal to you.”

 

“Then why do you fight against me?” she hissed.

 

“Because,” he took a breath. “A leader of the people should be loyal to their people. You’ve lead them into battle after battle, Morgana. Surely you’ve noticed the numbers of replacements dwindling! It is not because people do not wish to come and support you but because there is no one left! On either side!

 

“If you continue like this…you will destroy Albion. Just as the dragon said.”

 

She shook her head. “And what will you do if I do not listen to your counsel?”

 

His expression hardened. Gone was the silly serving boy. Gone was the magical ally.

 

“Then I will fight against you.”

 

“I should have killed you when I had the chance.”

 

He shook his head. “That doesn’t work. In another lifetime, I tried to kill you when I had the chance, even though it almost killed me to do it. I don’t know if you noticed, but that is when I—when he stopped smiling as much.”

 

“That naïve fool never grew up.”

 

“Not as much as I have,” Merlin agreed softly.

 

“When did you stop?” she asked, not even sure why the words had come out.

 

“When I saw that My Lady had gone from a regal queen to a warlord bent on destruction.”

 

They sat there inside the dimly-lit tent for what felt like forever, neither one moving or saying anything.

 

Finally, the tent flap opened to reveal Morgause. With her appearance, Morgana knew Merlin’s cause was lost, and by the look on his face, so did he.

 

“So, this is the spy? This traitor?”

 

“I am no traitor,” Merlin repeated, struggling to keep his voice even. She still picked up the sad undertone.

 

“Then why are you here? To aid our victory?” the blond asked as if genuinely curious.

 

“Both of you have already lost more than you realize,” he replied.

 

Morgause snorted. “And he learns to speak in riddles.”

 

“I came here in peace,” he insisted. “Peace is the only way to save Albion now.”

 

Now it was Morgause’s turn to scoff. “Peace? You jest. If we leave this battle now, it will only come back to haunt us later. The sorcerers of Albion will not be free until we have conquered all lands!”

 

“And what of everyone else?!” the dark-haired man asked—yelled really. Morgana began to realize that he had indeed grown. She truly saw no trace of the boy he’d been, and knew she never would again. She found herself surprised that, instead of triumphant or sad, she felt more resigned at the realization.

 

“We would have no problem with them if they accepted magic too,” Morgause shrugged as she walked over to stand by her sister.

 

“Forcing everyone to accept magic is no better than forcing everyone to refuse it!” he said, almost pleading.

 

Morgause shot him a glare. “What are you implying?”

 

“That you are no better than Uther.”

 

“You will die for that!” Morgause hissed, drawing her sword.

 

He’d been hanging in the air where Morgana had left him. Now he broke that hold easily, eyes flashing golden. That quickly, Morgause found she could no longer swing her sword as it froze in mid-air.

 

“I came here in peace, and I leave in the same manner, but I warn you that that peace ends tonight. Tomorrow I will meet you on the battlefield, and I will fight for Albion and Camelot, because both of you have refused to do so.”

 

Morgause’s eyes flashed gold, but he simply raised his other hand, countering the spell and sending her sprawling to the back of the tent.

 

“Sister!” Morgana yelped, rushing to side of the only family she had left. Morgause didn’t respond, but Morgana could tell that she still lived. The sight brought back familiar flashes of her sister lying at death’s doorstep on Camelot’s throne room floor, and she felt the familiar stirrings of rage break through the blanket of exhaustion that had enveloped her soul.

 

“How dare you?!” she turned to Merlin, magic at hand, but he was nowhere to be found.

 

There is still time, Morgana. His voice said in her head.

 

I will kill you for what you have done to my sister! She spat back.

 

He didn’t answer. She ignored him as best she could, choosing instead to place her focus upon her unconscious sister. Then the simple, sad words appeared in her mind. As you wish, My Lady.

 

The guards at the ends of both camps heard her screaming.

 

xXx

 

Silence fell over the two as she continued to waddle to the back of the cave, slowly sliding down the larger boulders in her path and using her cane for direction as much as balance.

 

“Why do you seek me out now?” the voice asked as his form finally began to take shape in her vision.

 

She shrugged—a very un-queenly thing to do. “Does a mad woman need a reason?”

 

“Everyone has a reason, even if they do not know it themselves.”

 

She didn’t answer, but continued until she stood before the great beast. “I seek you out, because like me, you are the last of your kind.”

 

This time, he didn’t answer, merely regarding her. “You brought this about yourself,” he said finally.

 

“I came to accept that long ago,” she muttered tiredly. The weariness her words held were not physical, but something that ran far deeper.

 

xXx

 

The battle became one of the bloodiest of the entire war. Heavy losses ran on both sides, and by the end of the day, less than half of both armies still stood.

 

That’s when Merlin found Morgause and killed her. She didn’t know how it happened. All Morgana knew was that she’d felt her sister die.

 

For several moments, she could only stand in sheer shock. At least before, in her previous life, Morgause had given up her life of her own free will. Here, it had been taken from her.

 

Then she found herself screaming and her magic lashed out. Anyone in the vicinity, friend or foe, died almost instantly, their bones and organs crushed.

 

That’s when she began to actively seek him out.

 

It didn’t take her long to find him. The battle around them had died down, leaving them to stand alone amidst the broken bodies that lay strewn around them.

 

“You…you killed my sister!”

 

He didn’t respond.

 

“You dare to ignore me?!” She shrieked, bringing her magic to bear so as to attack him. At the last moment, he turned around, bringing his own magic out to fend off her attack. They dueled for what could have been moments or hours, flinging one magical assault after the next at each other.

 

She knew the moment he gained the upper hand. His next spell would kill her, she knew. With that in mind, she froze. He did the same, watching her carefully.

 

“We will withdraw tonight,” she hissed at him. “Tomorrow, you die.”

 

He sighed. “I will beg you one last time, Morgana: Please let this go!”

 

She didn’t answer him, backing away with a murderous glare. She knew she’d gone too far in just about every aspect. She’d known for a long time, actually, but she simply couldn’t stop. That wouldn’t change now…and he knew that too.

 

“Tomorrow,” she hissed, disappearing into the darkness.

 

Ignoring the bodies she stepped over as she made her way back to her camp, she thought about her foolishness in believing he could ever have been of use to her.

 

Summoning her magic, she shot a flare of fire in the shape of a dragon into the sky to signal a break for the night. Oh, how she loathed to use the Pendragon symbol, but it had been one that the people would follow.

 

Not too far away, a similar burst of light without a shape at all signaled the same from their side. She cursed him under her breath; him, Arthur and Uther and all of Camelot.

 

It took her nearly half an hour to find her sister’s body among the dead. She carried it all the way back to the tent, tenderly placing the lifeless girl on the ground and covering her now-peaceful face with her cloak.

 

The camp, it seemed, had not been disturbed much, and sentries still remained posted. At least it hadn’t come down to every last man yet. She expected it to soon, if she didn’t do something.

 

It was time to bring in her wild card.

 

Turning to the guard, she practically hissed at him. “Find Balinor.”

 

xXx

 

A cold numbness had settled over her heart when she awoke the next morning. Her soul seemed determined to match the atmosphere of the upcoming day. Clouds covered the sky and an early-morning fog still clung to the land, as if it wished for the darkness to linger just a little longer. Wet, cold, and not promising in the slightest, she felt as if her spirit had called the very weather to the battleground as she slept.

 

The mist shrouding her soul only broke when she thought of Merlin and her sister. Only then would a burning hate stab through the icy wall before the bleak frost took over again.

 

It brought the knowledge of one thought to mind: Today, there would be no mercy.

 

“Have the preparations been made?” she asked the sentry as she exited the tent, dressed for battle.

 

He bowed stiffly. “Yes, Mi’lady.”

 

She smirked coldly. “Good. Where is he?”

 

“This way, Your Grace,” the guard said, nodding to the other sentry before leading her to the back of camp. If she had been a little less focused and determined, she might have noticed the despondent state of her soldiers. She knew that nearly half of their force had been completely obliterated the day before, but she hadn’t wanted to bring out the extra measures, seeing as the old dragon still hated her and wanted her dead. That made him a last resort, even with a Dragon Lord on her side.

 

Rounding a hill, she waved for the guard to be dismissed as she could now hear the dragon and Balinor talking.

 

“I cannot abandon the land again!” Balinor said heatedly. “I ran away once, and look where it got me!”

 

“Then stay and fight,” the dragon replied simply. “But if you order me to fight, you will regret it.” At that, his tone turned dark and mysterious, with more than a little sadness dripping off of his vague words.

 

“I already regret my actions, or lack thereof. I cannot sit by while both sides destroy each other! You are our last hope!”

 

The dragon scoffed. “I will not fight for the witch’s side.”

 

“Then magic will be lost forever!” Balinor returned, obviously frustrated. She stopped just out of sight, waiting for their argument to end (and also not wanting to get near the beast just yet).

 

“Has your exile taught you nothing?” The giant creature asked. “Magic is born from the land and will last long after humans have returned to the dust. You know this.”

 

“I cannot sit by and watch it all happen again,” the man insisted.

 

“So you would be a part of that which you fought against before?!” Morgana figured that now would be a good time to step in.

 

“Our forces have assembled. We ride to battle, Balinor. What news have you?”

 

“Ah, so the witch shows herself,” the dragon said darkly. “I wondered how long you would cower in your hiding place.”

 

It took some effort, but she ignored him. Balinor instead turned to face her, sighing. “He is being stubborn.”

 

“Perhaps I am not the stubborn one,” the dragon returned indignantly.

 

“Can you not order him?”

 

Balinor sighed. “I can, but I do not wish to. He is my friend, and my kin.”

 

“You are a man of magic,” Morgana pointed out, voice cold again. “If you do not order him, how many more of your kin will die today?”

 

The man sighed. “I know, My Lady, I know.” Silence fell over them, any noise swallowed up by the gray mist of the morning.

 

“I will not order you to save us,” she said finally. “Indeed I cannot as you have not sworn loyalty to me. But we will die today if you do not.”

 

“You could always listen to Merlin,” the dragon said dryly.

 

The heat of her rage kicked in again. “I will not listen to that traitor!”

 

“As ever, Uther’s daughter you remain.”

 

“Spare me, dragon,” she said with a glower. “I refuse to subject myself to your misguided opinion as well. Indeed, why should I spare any thought to one who hates me so unconditionally as you?”

 

“I never hated you, witch,” the reptile said with what looked suspiciously like a nonchalant shrug. “I only knew it would be your destiny to destroy the land if Merlin could not stop you. His goodness and love blinded him, for he wanted to believe that you too were good.”

 

“Who is this ‘Merlin’ you speak of?” Balinor asked, cutting into their conversation.

 

“A traitor,” Morgana practically hissed. “He vowed to serve me as court magician. One sought after his life, so I sent him away to learn and train. I saved his life! I gave him another chance to earn my trust, and I find only yesterday that he fights against me! Then he killed my sister.”

 

“As your sister would have killed him,” the dragon pointed out.

 

Her fists clenched at her sides as she stared the beast down. “He turned traitor. He lied to me again, and he fights against his own kin with magic! I cannot—I will not forgive him!”

 

The dragon sighed, seeming to slump down. “I feared as much.” With that, he turned to look at Balinor. “If you order me to fight, this will only end in more death.”

 

“For Merlin’s side,” Morgana hissed. “For the side that wishes to forbid magic from ever being practiced again!” With that she turned and strode off like the queen she was. “It is your choice, Balinor.”

 

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Balinor sigh and look up at his ‘friend’. “I do not wish to order you to fight, but if you refuse to do so, I will.”

 

Morgana smirked in triumph as the dragon scowled, then sighed and bowed his head. “Very well.”

 

xXx

 

With the dragon on their side, it was over almost before it started.

 

Morgana rode out at the head of her army as Merlin rode out at the head of his. She doubted he actually lead them, but he was a very powerful wizard. Indeed if he still remained loyal to her, she would have him ride at the head of her army as well.

 

The look on his face when the beast appeared was priceless. Right then, he knew they’d lost.

 

To his credit, he didn’t give up. As the dragon came soaring down, fire lighting his maw, he threw up a shield to block it. Of course, that meant turning his attention away from the fight at hand. The warriors he fought with rushed past him, colliding with Morgana’s army. It wasn’t too difficult to fight her way through the crowd towards him.

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she realized that her goal in the battle had gone from winning to simply getting revenge for Morgause, and was mildly surprised when she found she didn’t care.

 

Merlin continued to concentrate on the dragon; throwing everything he could at the beast while trying to defend his army from the draconian fire. It made for the perfect distraction as Morgana managed to gain the ground just behind him, only to shove her sword into his back.

 

For a moment, she almost didn’t believe she’d done it. It seemed almost anticlimactic. She’d done it! The most powerful sorcerer to ever live…and she’d beat him. He’d almost been undefeatable in her mind, and now he would die. Instead of letting him be her doom, she became his.

 

As he collapsed, she couldn’t help but catch him, heedless of the battle continuing around them.

 

“I…I’ve failed you…My Lady,” he said, copper blood already beginning to bubble at the side of his mouth. “Couldn’t…help you…forgive me…”

 

And with that, Merlin, also known as the wizard Emrys, died.

 

xXx

 

It was a very small, broken army that managed to drag themselves back to Camelot, but they returned home as champions. Once the battle had been won, Morgana had managed a treaty that forced the remaining opposing kingdoms to her will unconditionally. The casualties in the three-year-long war had been catastrophic, but she’d done it. She’d united all of the kingdoms into one nation.

 

Albion was hers.

 

Morgana couldn’t help but wonder; if they had won, and she’d achieved her goals, why did the victory feel so empty?

[Obi-quiet]

Grunting, she lowered herself to the ground, leaning against one of the boulders that held up the cave ceiling. “I do have a question for you, Dragon,” she said once she became situated.

 

“I have little better to do,” the large reptile replied. “So you may ask.”

 

“Was I cursed at birth?”

 

The dragon raised his eyebrow, although she could barely see him do so in the darkness. “Why do you ask that?”

 

“In one life, I lost everything and hated my life for it. In another, I gained everything, and hated my life for it. You yourself once told me that I had goodness in me—that I used to be a good person. Was I simply cursed?”

 

The dragon chuckled and brought his head down to rest on his forelegs, his own eyes old and tired. “So you wish to lay blame. No, witch. You were fated from birth, but that is not the same. Your evil was supposed to unite the land of Albion, but not under your rule.”

 

“I was supposed to be the common enemy,” she replied with a snort. “Why was I fated then? Why did I have to be the one to fall to save Camelot?”

 

The ancient creature shook his head. “That is a question even I cannot answer.”

 

xXx

 

The casualties continued to grow. They didn’t have enough food for the winter because all of the farmers had been recruited as soldiers, and people died. They didn’t have enough soldiers and knights to patrol the lands, leaving bandits to abound, so travelers and merchants died, leaving what remained of the outlying villages to fend for themselves and many of the larger cities to starve without the proper resources.

 

And they all blamed her.

 

Not that she could find fault with that. It had been her doing, after all.

 

They hated her now; her people. They hated her far more than they had ever hated Uther, even the magic users. So few people remained loyal, and, without her sister, she felt at a complete loss. Often she would simply find herself sitting and staring out of her bedroom window, fingering the healing bracelet that had once belonged to Morgause.

 

That was when she started wondering if everything she’d accomplished had really been worth it. She felt so alone and cold lately. Nothing could seem to pierce the frigid iceberg that had become her very being. Oh, how she wished she had someone left to melt the cold away.

 

Morgause she missed most of all, but sometimes her thoughts would stray, and she found herself wishing for anyone. Every now and then, Arthur would come to mind; her caring half-brother with his pompous gait and arrogant attitude. Other times she’d think of Gwen, who had insisted on fighting for her lady and had lost her life defending Morgana in one of the many battles (she couldn’t remember which now, as they all blurred together in her mind). Often she would consider trying to locate Giaus, who had left in protest half-way through the war, but she had no idea where to even begin to look for him. And on her worst days, she’d even miss Merlin and his loyal smiles or the excited exclamations when he finished a spell.

 

Towards the end, she found she even missed Uther, because no matter what had happened between them, he had loved her.

 

Then, one day, a few years after the end of the war, Morgana Pendragon, Queen of Albion, vanished. Some people said she wasted away, regretting her entire life. Others insisted she had taken her own life in recompense for her acts. Still others said that she simply could not handle what she’d done and wandered off as a mad-witch.

 

With no heir to the throne, the land once again rose up into war, killing a good number of Albion’s remaining population.

 

The land never quite recovered, and when an enemy from across the seas invaded, they met with little resistance. What was left of the old religion died out, and magic became practically non-existent.

 

xXx

 

Morgana sighed, trying to ignore the aches in her back and legs. She couldn’t. The rocks she happened to be sitting on didn’t help, but she also found she did not have the energy to move.

 

“Perhaps when I meet Morgause and Merlin again, we can combine our forces against whoever decided our fate.”

 

The dragon laughed this time. “Seek out Mordred the druid as well. The four of you together would be a force to reckon with indeed.”

 

“Morgana, Merlin, Morgause and Mordred,” she said, chuckling herself. It felt good to laugh again. Then her face fell. “Will I even see them? I doubt all of us will pass into the same afterlife.”

 

“That has yet to be seen,” the Dragon said with a shrug.

 

Sighing, the old woman felt her body relax against the stone. It felt so much more comfortable now; like an old, worn chair instead of hard rock. “May I stay here?” she asked, her voice coming out as nothing more than a whisper. Somewhere along the way, her eyes had closed as well.

 

“You may. I will watch the passing of an age with you.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to.”

 

Although she couldn’t see the dragon, she knew he’d shrugged. “I would have probably lived to see it anyway. You simply brought its end about sooner.”

 

“I have one last question,” she breathed. “If Emrys was to be my doom, why did I find that spell?”

 

“That answer is something I can only speculate on.”

 

“It has been far too long since I have heard a simple opinion.”

 

The dragon chuckled again. “Very well. A fate is not always a certainty. My guess is that fate wanted to give you another choice and with it, another chance.”

 

“Perhaps,” she muttered, somehow not even able to open her mouth anymore. “If that is the case, then I may want to…thank fate instead…for trying…to save…me.”

 

Her breathing slowed as she fell asleep for the last time.

 

“You may be surprised, witch,” the dragon said, mostly to himself. “It traded an entire nation for you, but fate may very well have succeeded if that was its goal.”

 

The next morning, a local farmer found the body of an old woman lying at the edge of his field. He buried her in a nameless grave, saying all the prayers he could think of from every religion he knew of over it, hoping that one would match the stranger’s beliefs.

 

And thus passed the age of Magic.

 

END

 

If you read this and enjoyed it, please go here and vote for it! Thanks! http://www.ficmasinjuly.org/janneeann.htm (P.S. There are other stories to read there too!)

 

Phew, if you got this far...KUDOS. ^^;

[Jedi Kiara]

Oh my goodness! It is so funny because i just watched the end of season 4 today! I loved this! It is sad, but remarkably well thought out. Such an interesting twist of fate. How did you come up with this? I applaud you! P

[DarthBrendo]

I've just read up to where Arthur gets killed. I'm thoroughly enjoying this. I do watch the show too, and I think you've got everyone down pretty closely.

 

Morgana "feels" a but off, if that makes sense, but I can't quite put my finger on why.

 

But, enjoying it so far.

[Obi-quiet]

*gasp* You guys like Merlin too? *grabs on and doesn't let go* I officially love you! Well...more.

 

Morgana is my favorite character. It really broke my heart to see her turned so drastically around in season 3 and 4. She always felt a bit off to me in that season, Brando, so maybe it's a tribute to my skill that I was able to convay that? *head swells big* *pin deflates it* POP Eh, probably not. If you do figure out what you think is off, let me know.

 

Anyway, I came up with this because I wanted to know what would happen if Morgana had won. Would it be so bad? But then I remembered how the Dragon is always right and always going on about destiny and how it's Arthur's destiny, and it kind of freaked me out that he's willing to support and protect the son of his hated enemy because of the supposed concequences of their actions. What happens if Arthur dies? Well, it won't be pretty.

 

None of the magical people seem to get that though. A lot of them are simple peasants who were just looking for an easier way. They wouldn't have the skills or mind-set to really look into the future and see what would actually happen if they just killed Uther and/or Arthur.

 

So this was born from all of that togther combined with a 'what if'? What if Morgana figured out how to go back in time? What would she do? She'd try to bring the magic back, which is supposed to happen. So why is the dragon so wary?

 

Then I got to thinking how Arthur is supposed to bring the magic back and unify the land. Magic won't be ruling, just accepted, and I realized that Morgana (especially with Morgause by her side) would take it too far. I just can't see her current character causing anything else.

 

I miss the old Morgana! *cries* The one that snuck food out of the castle to give to staring peasants.

 

Does that answer your question, Kiara?

[Amidala Skywalker]

WOW--this is fantastic. I freaking love this show, so when I saw this I seriously got up a did a jig of joy!!

 

One thing that bothered me a little throughout the whole fic...isn't it Gaius? http://merlin.wikia.com/wiki/Gaius

 

What a great idea! I have always really liked Morgana as well, and miss her good innocence from the early seasons. She got really evil really fast, and while I could kind of always see why she has such reasons for hatred, I always related well to the other characters having such pity on her. Which, by the way, you absolutely nailed in this fic when it came to Merlin's attitude towards her.

 

Begrudgingly, she had to admit that he was a far better actor than he let on. Either that or he really was a hopeless fool with a seemingly bottomless supply of loyalty

 

LOL! Both! What a great description of Merlin as a character.

 

He seemed to realize she was teasing him and blushed. If she didn’t absolutely hate the boy, she might have admitted he did look a little cute like that.

 

For a back-stabbing murderer and chronic liar, that was.

 

I LOVED this. Perfect!!

 

Wow, what a great fic. I am very, very impressed, and absolutely am so glad that you shared it here!!!!!

[Obi-quiet]

I love what they've done with Merlin's character. You never really can tell whether he is an idiot or not, and I think that's the way he wants it.

 

I adore Morgana's character just because (as you said) you can see why she did what she did and why she is how she is, but it just makes us sad when we see her like that because of how she used to be. I remember her hugging Gwen when she came back after being kidnapped. *cries*

 

You know, I wasn't expecting so many replies so soon. *scratches head* I didn't even get this many replies on FF.net. You guys spoil me here, you know that? *glomp*

[DarthBrendo]

Just read up to where Morgana told her sentries to find Balinir. Still enjoying this, and yes. I'm a big fan of Merlin.

[Tiana Calthye]

I'm floored. It's a very good piece, very well written, good characters, good pacing. Now to be honest I don't know anything about the TV show but if it's anything like this I'd want to watch it.

 

Very enjoyable writing, thank you.

[Amidala Skywalker]

Tiana, you should totally watch it. It's fantastic.

[Jedi Kiara]

You know, I used to like Morgana's character. But she just became so ridiculously over the top evil in such a short amount of time, that I just can't stand her anymore. In my opinion the writers short changed us a bit on that front.

[Jedi Kiara]

They used the cheap excuse of, she was away with her sister for a year between seasons and that is why she has done a complete 180. I would have liked to see her transformation for myself.

[DarthBrendo]

I've just finished the first post. Morgan's right...it feels hollow. It seems bizarre that he was killed so easily.

 

I'll read more later on.

[Obi-quiet]

Well, I was thinking about it earlier, and in all actuality, first season she was really good, second season she went downhill, mainly at the end, but what broke the camel's back was Merlin poisoning her. Third season was more or less a continuation of that, and the nail in the coffin was more or less when she found out that Uther had been lying to her her whole life.

 

So I don't think it was too fast unless you marathon it. ^^; It seems so much faster that way. Each season is supposed to take place over a period of anywhere from one to several months.

 

^^;

 

Anyway, thanks again for all the feeback.

Edited February 22, 2012 by Guest

[DarthBrendo]

Finished it. Brilliant. I really enjoyed the Morgana/Dragon conversation you interspersed throughout as she reflected on things.

 

I still can't work out what about Morgana felt off I'm afraid, but it wasn't there, whatever it was, in the rest of the story.

[Obi-quiet]

Well I'm glad you liked it none the less, and want to thank you for the feedback.

[DarthBrendo]

No problems. You'll have to let us know how the story goes in the competition too.

[jedi_master_gimpy]

This is a very well put-together and thought-out what-if scenario, Obi-Quiet! So, I have to admit that I had originally only watched the first season of Merlin. I did find it quite interesting, but I never noticed when they started season two on Hulu and wasn't interested enough with the time I had to hunt it down.

 

That said, it's been popping up quite a lot recently thanks to a few people here (you with this vig being one of them), and so I decided to give it another go. Yay for Netflix! Anyway, with what I remember of the characters from season 1 I thought you did an excellent job with characterization. While Morgana was still "good" in season 1, the writers were already preparing us for a believable transition on her character (granted, I know nothing of the abrupt shift you've described in seasons 3/4 yet) as she rails against the injustice of killing people with magic as an extreme prejudice and then has bouts of mortal fear when she beings to discover those powers in herself.

 

I think you captured that here - that idea of strong convictions (whether good or bad) and the idea that she could - should - would do it right, avenging wrongs that are seen from her perspective but often taken too far to an extreme. It was believable and almost seemed inevitable it would turn out that way, even with the little I know, and I think much of this comes from what you said stemmed this fic - the exploration of her character and why it would be so bad if she won.

 

The writing was smooth and well-crafted to bring together a rounded story within a single (albeit very long! ) vig, the characterization quite good, the plot solid. Great job! I'd definitely be interested in any further Merlin stuff you post!