Travis Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 I feel like the pacing did suddenly drop down much slower, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It's like in a movie where everything suddenly is in slow motion for a dramatic scene, and I think it works here. It is odd that you feel it is much slower as I thought the opposite. The first chapter seemed to drag on for me, but this is like everything happening at once. That said, it feels like a filler post designed to just get our hero from point A to point B, there's nothing of substance happening in the post until they get to the battle, and the battle feels a little superficial...I want to hear more about the sounds, how the particular formation our heros group is helping is fairing and how they're fighting, how the King reacts to reinforcements....more detail. I understand, and it may be something to do with the paragraph you wrote before this regarding the format and sporadic pieces being posted. Not everything can be super plot changing material, there has to be some support and setup. I can't just say "and they were there and charged into the enemy flanks" when they were viewing the battle on the horizon a few paragraphs before because this isn't a roleplay, it is a novel. I did try to focus on the fact that these guys are pushing themselves hard so they can help defend their country. I had actually intended on including far more material and cut it short simply because there was not much more need for details. I would like to point out that I ended this where I did for two reasons: it was about the same length as the other submissions (trying to keep it short for internet readers as per advice from my last attempt at submitting literature here) and because it kinda fits as a decent stopping point. I will point out that in the completed work, there will be absolutely no break between this and what follows. Also, regarding to how the King reacts to reinforcements, the answer is he wouldn't. Small groups of reinforcements have been coming all night and to be honest, when you have a quarter a million men fighting on the field, five hundred really isn't that significant. I haven't yet gone into scale here yet (that comes later), but there are about 70,000 Sei on the field facing 200,000 Angvardi. It is a big battle and I intentionally set the hero in a relatively small group and had him play a fairly insignificant part because he isn't yet the hero. It would be entirely illogical to have him play a major part in victory when he has not even been developed. As for more detail on the actual nitty gritty, that is coming. The battle is far from over and there will be more detail of the fighting itself and the aftermath in the second part of Chapter 2 and start of Chapter 3. Click for the best site ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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