Set Me Free

[Obi-quiet]

Rating: PG

Rated for: Dark themes, generally depressive/dark outlook

Critique level: CRITIQUE ENCOURAGED

 

xXx

 

Peace is a lie.

 

He wanted to be free.

 

Being born in the Republic where slavery had been abolished for centuries and minimum wage standards were enforced with harsh penalties and clear guidelines should have given him the freedom he'd always wanted. It didn't.

There is only passion.

 

It didn't matter what power or wealth one had to their name, someone always had the power to take that away. They had, in essence, more power. So one had to obey the law; follow rules. One had to make an appearance. One had to play the games as he'd learned to do so long ago. He could play them well. He still hated it.

Through passion, I gain strength.

 

Once, he'd thought he could have escaped his iron-clad fate if his parents had allowed him to be trained as a Jedi. Now he knew better. They had their own rules; their own despicable games, and he found he could hate them for it.

 

Now he hoarded that hate as it gave him strength.

 

Through strength, I gain power.

 

”œGood, good.”

[Amidala Skywalker]

Ah! I loved it!! The scene itself was so ordinary--just an apprentice practicing saber techniques with his master. But Palpatine's processing added another layer of depth, and the way you worked in the Sith Code so masterfully added another deeper layer. Like a pie. I am really, really impressed with your writing. You are very solid, and it's just a pleasure to read!

[Obi-quiet]

I'm so glad. I thought it would be disjointed and difficult to follow because I threw it together at 5 in the morning in a rather depressed state (better now, so don't worry).

[jedi_master_gimpy]

Great stuff! Having read the challenge in the Truth or Challenge thread I knew who it was going to end up being, but even so I could appreciate how only in that brief mention do we realize who it is.

 

As Ami said, the writing was wonderfully done. The mix of action/thought/memory/Sith Code was perfectly balanced, your descriptions spot-on. I particularly liked these sentences:

 

Once, he'd thought he could have escaped his iron-clad fate if his parents had allowed him to be trained as a Jedi. Now he knew better. They had their own rules; their own despicable games, and he found he could hate them for it.

 

His master had been pleased with his progress so far, but he hadn't been. It wasn't enough. It was never enough...but it would be, one day. If he bled enough, if he sacrificed enough, if he pushed enough, then it would be.

 

It completely matches with the Sidious we know later!

 

Great job, OBQ!

[Tiana Calthye]

Very nice progression... writing early Sidious is a hard challenge, and you got that sort of calculating hatred well worked into his character. Short, but effective.

 

I think the short impact of it makes it work very well.

[Obi-quiet]

Thank you both for the feedback! I don't normally do "short", but I think you're right, I think the shortness did work to my advantage in this case.

 

I really thought a lot about how I should go about doing this, and someone mentioned once to me that Palpatine would have to have a fairly fool-proof background to be able to become a Senator, come under scrutiny of the Jedi and still be able to hold office, so I figured a "private school" facade would work well. I also was wondering what could possibly go through his mind to make him the...evil son of a hutt that he is.