Tobias Vos Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I have to take a poetry class in order to graduate. Thought I would share the first poem I wrote with you all. Then share the rest of the poems as I am assigned them by my teacher. Cheers. Assignment one: We had to connect with images. I felt this came across alright. What is It Anyway? ”“Tobias Vos Is it a boy sitting in a windowsill? Is it the ice-cream cone melting in his hand? What makes the little things in life so grand? A gentle touch of a friend? Or a Lover? Was it the smell of a fresh apple pie? Was it the smell of fresh wildflowers? Or was it the seductive feel of the warm sun? What is it anyway”¦ That makes you enjoy the little things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobias Vos Posted April 8, 2011 Author Share Posted April 8, 2011 (We had to write about the scene, someone from it. I chose the loner guy. This is what he is thinking...) Good Ol' Eddie. Always makes sure there's just a pinch of sugar in my coffee. Ah. What a rough day. Let's take a sip of you. MMM”¦Delicious. Maybe tonight I will actually order a donut. Who knows? Life has been so hectic recently, can't stand the neighbors. Always shouting about communists. Damn them. Don't they know that they are only in Russia. Who's that laughing? Never seen that guy before. With that broad that's $10 an hour. Hah! Best not to stare I guess. Let's light up a cigarette. Ohhh a deep breath. Amazing. Coffee and a cigarette. Always a wonderful taste. Thank goodness there's no one here, well except for the love birds. Time for another sip. Mmmm. It always brings a smile to Eddie's face when someone enjoys his services. He's a good man. Great person. Shame his dad died recently. That was a bummer. But at least he owns the diner now”¦I guess that's a plus. Ok, enough with the giggling, lass. I'm enjoying my after work-coffee. Well. That's the last of the coffee. Best pay my two bits and leave. Here yah go Eddie, a little something extra. Take care. See yah tomorrow. Back to the wife and kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Heh, classic picture. Always wondering what people are thinking in those kind of paintings, hey? Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amidala Skywalker Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Those are both pretty good poems. I like the first one--very questioning, and a good resolution. Very nice. SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobias Vos Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 Metaphor Poem; You are the morning dew and the wake-up crow The smile and the joy You are the happy feeling in my heart And the fleeting feeling in my soul You are the smile on my face when I come home And the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. Wind under my wings You give me my life You're the last thing I smell when my head hit's the pillow And the first when I wake up. But you are not the fuel that drives me You are the not the wood that built this house You are the love that hold's it together The smile and joy of this House Some of the lines are clichéd, but hey. It's a good attempt. Hah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiana Calthye Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Wind under my wingsYou give me my life That's my favorite line. By the way, you're using apostrophes wrong. 's is used when it's possessive or if you're shortening "is", like "something's" or "Ben's". It should be "holds" and "hits", because it's not belonging to hold and it's not "hold is". Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amidala Skywalker Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Nice! I loved it. Very well done. You know, it's something that could work as song lyrics, too. Add a chorus and you've got a good one. SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone! There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobias Vos Posted April 19, 2011 Author Share Posted April 19, 2011 Thanks Ladies. My Teacher's favourite line was: "But you are not the fuel that drives me You are the not the wood that built this house" Tiana-Yeah. That is one of my biggest writing flaws. I never grasped those concepts in grade school. I'm slow when it comes to proper writing. Ami-I gave up writing song's long ago. But I will give it to my guitarist friend and see what he does with it. Thanks for the idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobias Vos Posted April 20, 2011 Author Share Posted April 20, 2011 Assignment: Write a persona poem or prose piece based on a mythological, historical, or storybook/fairytale character. Tell the real story, focusing on a specific event, or focus on one aspect of the original tale. In other words, don't tell the entire story of creation if you speak from the point of view of Eve in the Garden of Eden. And don't tell the story we already know. Feel free to create a character who doesn't yet exist. This is right from the RP. I needed to make a decent post here soon, so knock two birds out with one stone. So to speak. I still need to revise this piece, so if you have any suggestions. Let'em fly. Tobias grumbled on in pain. His previous fight had dire consequences. But it was what he wanted, what he needed. This was his shoe-into the Order. Multiple rewards would bloom due to this recent ”œbetrayal.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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