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The Heist (very short fantasy viggie) (Complete)


Amidala Skywalker
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Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Actually...I'll put my disclaimer at the end. For now, let's just say I've never ever written anything like this before and never really plan on doing so again.

 

***

She crouched low behind the bushes, adrenaline coursing through her body. If everything went well, then they could be truly happy for the first time in a long time. Her and her family. So she waited, her mind full of anxiety. They could be in serious trouble if this went wrong. She didn't quite know what kind of crime it would be considered. Clearly what they were about to do went beyond petty theft. She vowed that no matter what happened, though, she wouldn't see any of her family go to jail. It wasn't worth it. They'd run, go somewhere far on the other side of the country and go back to their old way of life, eeking out survival day by day.

 

Hunger gnawed at her empty stomach. She tried her best not to think of it. If today's exploits go well, I'll have a full stomach by this evening, she promised herself. It was a nice thought, but she also knew that a lot could go wrong still.

 

They had waited until sundown. The place would be closing soon, and she really hoped that they wouldn't have to hurt anyone in the process. So they had agreed that closing time would give them the best chance at avoiding violence as well as getting what they came for.

 

Suddenly, the door spilled open, and she saw a young man exit. "I'll be right back!" he called to his coworkers inside. "I just need to run over to the church to fill out the final paperwork." She felt her breath catch in her throat. This was there chance. They knew from careful observance throughout the day that there were only ever three or four workers on duty at a time. The absence of the young man would work in their favor.

 

Sure enough, she heard a whistle like a bird call the moment the church door had closed behind the man. Silently, she slipped out of cover and joined the rest of her family. They were all dressed in black, with masks over their faces to hide their identities. The men--her father, brother, husband, and two sons--all carried heavy objects--bats, broken table legs and the like. Her mother and her had elected to not be armed, although both carried several lengths of strong rope and some empty canvas bags.

 

With a strong wrench, her husband opened the door and stepped through. The rest of the family piled in. As she followed, she heard the sounds of a scuffle and a woman's voice cry out. But it was over by the time she had stepped inside. It was so crowded inside with all of them in there that it took a moment for her to see what had happened. Two women in brightly colored shirts lay slumped against the sides. She moved her way towards them and began to tie them up. They appeared unhurt, just unconscious. Silently, she finished securing the one as her mother took care of the other woman. Then together, they wrapped them in the canvas bags.

 

"Okay, they're ready," she told her son in a low voice. The young man nodded, and he and his brother lifted the two unconscious women and took them outside. Now that that was done, they had to move quickly. There was a call from the back, and she turned to see her husband give a wide smile. "There's enough in here to last us for months," he said. The rest of the family exchanged grins of barely contained excitement. Her mother took an involuntary step towards the back, but her father grabbed her arm. "Not yet, dear. We have to get out of here first."

 

By this time, the boys had returned. Her eldest grinned and held up a keyring. "One of them had the keys on her." There was a collective breath of relief. This was about to get much easier. "Everyone find a place to sit!"

 

She watched as everyone squeezed themselves into spaces in the narrow hallway or on top of the beds, leaving the seats for her mother and father. Her son turned the key, and the engine roared to life. "Let's go!" her husband called from the back. With her son at the helm, the large vehicle sped off into the night.

 

She wondered as they drove home what that young man would do when he came out and found the place gone. But her unease disappeared as her husband passed her a small sack from the back that was filled with dark red liquid. She eagerly opened it and began to drink.

 

After months of living on animal blood, there was nothing sweeter or more fulfilling than that drink. She was finally full, and that made this bloodmobile heist worth every moment.

 

***

 

Yeah, so my disclaimer is that I do NOT like Twilight. This is only very slightly inspired by it, and that being the idea that there are vampires who try not to eat humans. Note that there are no sparkles in this story, or creepy stalkers, or angsty teenagers.

 

I was just inspired by passing a bloodmobile today and the thought occurred to me that it was full of blood, and if there was ever a car accident with a bloodmobile that there would be a lot of blood everywhere. LOL...however do we get these mad inspirations?

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SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.
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I was just inspired by passing a bloodmobile today and the thought occurred to me that it was full of blood, and if there was ever a car accident with a bloodmobile that there would be a lot of blood everywhere. LOL...

 

Ami, your street cred just went up BIG.

 

I enjoyed it. I guess I don't have much to comment on, but I want to ask something anyway. Are you really going to just leave it at this? You said you don't plan to write much more. I think your concept was solid enough, and amusing, at least to me. You really should keep going. My failed Nano was about vampires, and I too made an effort to not make them "Twlight-lame," so I appreciate that you did too.

 

It reminded me of the beginning of Les Misérables. You know... just different.

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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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Hee, I like your take on modern vampires! Much better than Twilight. Much better than 'artificial blood' or things like that. I enjoyed it. It was nice, short, and a good opening. I do hope there's more.

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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I quite enjoyed the concept. I was thinking it was maybe a band of homeless people trying to rob a grocery store or something, and it wasn't til the bloodmobile word came up that it all clicked in. Nicely done. Also, very appreciative of the no sparkle.

Member of Jnet Addict Club 12/05

Order of the Nocturnal

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  • 4 weeks later...

Tonight, one of my high school Facebook friends, who works in a clinic, posted: "just had a bag of blood explode all over himself, his coworker, and his patient. ALL. OVER. Hospital room looks like a murder scene..."

 

It reminded me of this tale.

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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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Oh I somehow missed this with my move and all. Loved it for what it was. I was going huh?! with the line about the man finding "this place" gone. It confused me then you got to the end.

 

Nice work. I kinda started writing a non sparkley vampire story a while back but got a bit of writers block.

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looking forward to tit
One flash of my perfect chest and he'll be knocked out in a happytime daydream.
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