Worst Weekend Ever 6 "The Rip Tide. (Fin)

[ForceFusion]

This is a little mini-series of my journey as a writer. Writing is difficult and this is a series confronting that. It's mostly non-fiction. In fact, it's a little bit of a journal. I really don't know what it is, but the three pieces are connected in one way: they all come out of this terrible weekend I'm just getting through. There may be a follow up series.

 

Untitled 6 "The Rip Tide"

 

It's a rip tide. You never expect it. You're doing everything you can to deal with your emotions, to keep yourself healthy and sane, and then suddenly, no matter how strong you are, it pulls you under. You weep and cry and hyperventilate and you have absolutely no escape but drowning. You have to drown, to die, to become whole again. You have to absolutely lose your mind for a few moments. If you can pick yourself up off the floor, confront your issues, and continue to be a human being, then maybe you'll be all right.

 

I was hurting her in my head. That blow was not for my pillow, it was for her. It was my vengeance. For the first time, I consciously allowed myself to wish pain upon her. Not for any sort of helpful reason; not so she could feel my pain, not so she could grow. No, I wished nothing good on her in that moment. I wished her pain simply because I was in pain. Because she caused me pain. Because I did nothing to deserve the pain and if there is fairness in the world, her soul will be torn to shreds.

 

But there isn't fairness in the world. There is a God. A good God. Who forgives. And whom I must imitate.

 

I am absolutely paralyzed. I cannot type the next sentence. I cannot. I cannot speak it. I can barely think it.

 

I'm afraid if I don't do it now, I'll never be able to do it. But how can I forgive her twice in two weeks for tearing me to shreds?

 

Kassy, I forgive you.

[Jidai Geki]

Well written, and does a good job of evoking (your?) emotions. If this is about you, it's something very personal to commit to the perusal of strangers- not a judgment either way, just an observation.

[ForceFusion]

Fellow writers, I believe, are not strangers, though we've never met. We put our living soul into art, so no matter how fictional a story I read or write, there is a human connection.

 

At least I think so.

[Amidala Skywalker]

I think this is one of my favorite pieces of your writing. I can relate so closely to it...it is so hard to forgive those who have hurt us. You communicated that struggle eloquently, but didn't draw it out.

 

Nice job putting emotions on paper...or rather, on the computer screen.