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Helpless Fury (NSW, vignette, VERY dark) (Complete)


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Hello, all. Before I say anything else, let me get this disclaimer out of the way:

 

This story is rated R for intense, disturbing themes and some language.

 

I wrote this as a school assignment; for this online college course I had to create an emotional word picture (and it had to be very short) based on some strong emotional situation I had experienced in my life. I chose one that was based on rage and helplessness, and this... this thing came out of it. Interestingly enough, the title reflects the emotions.

 

For lack of a better title, this story is simply called "Helpless Rage." Thanks to Obi-here for previewing and critiquing it. Further critiques are welcomed.

 

 

 

 

North wing, Block C, Cell 25. Day Thirty-Four.

 

Jack continued pacing around the perimeter of his cell, counting his steps. Six steps, turn, eight steps, turn, six steps, turn, eight steps, turn. After all, what else was there to do? Rehearse a defense? He hadn't been formally charged yet. Not that it mattered. You didn't need to be formally charged. Not anymore. If there was any suspicion of your loyalty to the party, you were thrown in jail for interrogation. His father had often spoken of the old days of ”œdue process”

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"According to this website, you should never trust the source of an online quote." --Abraham Lincoln

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Long time since I've seen you around. Welcome back. Honestly, I know it's weird for me to not post a long response to the fic, but I'm still hazy. This story just made me feel GREAT RAGE along with your character, and a bit upset. So, y'know. I guess it worked?

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm not exactly sure how to feel after reading that. Needless to say it was quite amazing. Passion is such an awesome thing to be able to portray through the written word and you were blessed with that talent. The only thing that I noticed while reading was that I had to go back and read a couple of your sentences twice to comprehend them completely, though that could be due to the fact that its 6:40 am here and I haven't slept all night.

 

All in all it was an excellent piece. Like S_H said, it was clear and perfect. Excellently executed man!

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Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05

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  • 1 year later...

I thought this was a pretty good piece. I feel like water boarding someone now though.

 

A few sentences stood out as particularly awesome. ”œThe young woman's screaming subsided to a painful sobbing as the sounds of physical violence stopped.”

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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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