Return of the Jedi - Clash of Lightsabers - Vignette (Fin)

[Catalyst]

For those of you who know of me and my one story (After Endor) I posted here, I want to apologize for never finishing it. There are times when an author loses a story. He/she loses focuses or forgets where they were going with the plot. That's what happened with me. Life (marrige, new house, new job, new kids, etc.) intruded in the middle of writing and when I tried to come back to it, I had no idea where I intended to go with it. With that said, I will leave it here for as long as the mods okay it, and if anybody would like to pick it up and finish, well they are more than welcome.

 

Now with all of that hubaloo out of the way, what I did want to post is very short vignette based in Return of the Jedi. I've always had a problem with the film version of this scene since everything seems to be rushed and the direction is horrible. So in order to alleviate my own faults with it, I wrote this...

 

As always all comments are welcome.

 

Title: Clash of Lightsabers (Return of the Jedi Vignette)

Rating: PG

Rated for: Star Wars like violence

Critique level: Encouraged

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"If you won't be turned, then perhaps she will."

 

"NOOOOO!" With a roar of defiance Luke charged at me and in an instant I was transported back in time. To a time and place I thought I had forgotten. Padme laid at my feet a crumpled form. Kenobi stalked down the Nubian starship ramp in his awful righteousness - so assured in his purpose - so confidant - everything that I was not. I hated him for it. You will not take her from me! I shouted at him in defiance. That same defiance, that same vehemence is what I sensed in my son at that moment - it terrified me and a part of me actually recoiled.

 

And then there was no more time for memories or thoughts as Luke's brilliant green blade stabbed at my chest. Only force enhanced muscles and machinery were quick enough to deflect his attack. The speed that he and I played at before this moment was nowhere to be found, but in its place was power. Awful power. With every swing of his saber he brought to bear all of his physical and force strength. Every swing was filled with malice and anger. It took all of my concentration and skill just to turn and deflect those mighty strokes. Each one stronger and more powerful than the one before it. I was driven backward, completely on the defensive.

 

I could feel the darkness boiling from him. It was absolutely horrifying. Not even the emperor in his glory put off that kind of raw dark energy. I realized in that moment that I could not beat him. I faced what Kenobi must have all those years ago on the first Death Star. But I could not make the same choice he did. I could only fight on, knowing that it was a losing battle. It was really the only thing I knew how to do. My whole life was spent fighting. Never knowing true peace.

 

And then the inevitable happened, I lost my footing on a gantry. I stumbled and fell hard against the railing. I could feel ribs cracking upon impact, my already heavy breathing brought excruciating agony. Luke rained down strike after strike against me. I could no longer turn the blows, I could only hold my own saber in front of my face and hope that my augmentations would hold.

 

With a quick flick of the wrist, Luke turned my blade outward and then brought his own down to viciously slice through my sword hand. The severed appendage along with my lightsaber dropped down the long service shaft. I raised my left hand in an effort to call upon the Force to push him back, but I could not command enough control to flutter his hair. I could only prepare for the killing stroke to fall.

 

I saw a curious thing then. Something I had not expected. The fire that fueled his rage left my son. The dark energy which he called upon to batter and defeat me winked out in an instant. I could see revulsion in his stare as his own gaze turned on his artificial right hand. The hand that I took on Bespin. In another corner of my mind I chuckled with dark irony: a hand for a hand. It was somehow fitting.

 

Palpatine's laughter broke his reverie and he turned as the aged dark wizard glided down the steps toward us. I could see something wicked in the old man's eyes.

 

"Good, good," he crooned when he reached the bottom of the steps. "Your hate has made you powerful."

 

Luke straightened and his chin rose in defiance. But instead of the fierceness he showed toward me only moments ago, all that came from him was a calmness. And I felt something I never knew was possible. I felt proud. Proud because he was going to face the Emperor on his terms - not bowed, not terrified, and not hate-filled. All of which always characterized me and my dealings with Palpatine. And with the pride for my son, I felt another thing that I can only describe as a lightness.

 

"Now strike him down and take your father's place at my side," the emperor said.

 

Finally, Palpatine voiced his real plans for Luke - and ultimately myself. With Luke on the verge of falling into darkness, I was now replaceable. A small seed of anger crept back into me. This powerful old man twisted everything I ever held dear and made it seem foul. He had made sure that he was the only steady rock to cling to, as much as it hurt to cling to it. And now, when my usefulness was about over, he was going cast me aside. Damn him.

 

"Never. You have failed, your highness," Luke said with a small, triumphant smile on his face, as he tossed his lightsaber away. "I am Jedi, like my father before me."

 

I don't know if Luke could sense it, but I certainly could. Luke's words enraged Palpatine, and I could feel that he was summoning a vast amount of dark Force energy to his will. Acid dripped from his words as he said, "So be it, Jedi."

 

I knew Luke was in real danger now. I struggled to my feet holding my ruined right arm to my chest plate. I crossed the gantry to stand at my usual position. At the right hand of my Master.

 

"If you will not be turned, the you will be destroyed," Palpatine declared as he raised his crooked fingers and called upon the Force. Darkness swelled around him and bright blue lightning leapt from his fingertips to envelope Luke. The lightnings writhed and wrapped around Luke in a hypnotic pattern. With each flash I was transported back in time. To times when I was happy. I saw Padme smiling. I felt the love we shared. I saw Obi-Wan and his calm determination as we stood back to back in some outer-rim conflict. I felt the comraderie. I missed it all. And as I saw each of these in my mind's eye, I heard a small voice from my past, you must train yourself to let go of what you fear to lose. I didn't heed those words and this is where I am ended. I looked down at my son, as he writhed in pain, and I saw myself in his eyes. I saw everything I had ever done. How I justified it all as "them" being evil. When it was really I who was evil.

 

"You have paid the price for your lack of vision," the emperor said in a brief respite. And then once again he inflicted his wrath upon Luke.

 

"Father! Please!" Luke cried out as every muscle in his body spasmed and contracted. It was a testament to Luke's strength that he was even able to say anything.

 

The lightnings let up briefly for the last time and Palpatine smirked when he said, "Now, young Skywalker, you will die."

 

Skywalker. A name lost in history. A name cloaked in shame. Except, Luke wore it proudly. My son wore that name proudly. He was so like Padme in that way. Padme's son. My son. And then all at once, it hit me. Skywalker was MY name. I lost myself when I gave it up. I lost EVERYTHING when I gave it up. Was it too late to take it back? Was it too late to show the galaxy that I was not completely destroyed by Darth Vader? Could I turn again? Did I want to? Did I even dare?

 

"Father! AHHH!"

 

Luke's pained voice, so close to finally breaking brought me back to myself fully. I looked over at Palpatine and the anger I felt moments before when he urged Luke to kill me surged within me. I looked at him, and for the first time I did not see a powerful father figure, I only saw a bitter old man who was drunk on his own power. A man who was so consumed with himself that he knowingly twisted everything that I ever loved - just so he could use me. And use me he did.

 

At last I took control of my own destiny. I lunged at him while I screamed from within I will be used NO MORE!

 

With all of my remaining strength I grabbed Palpatine and lifted him high in to the air, the lightnings that were aimed at Luke, now rained down on me. I welcomed them as they fed my rage. The energy tore at my muscles and wreaked havoc on my augmentations. I delved deep into the Force and willed my mechanics to keep performing their functions. As much energy as I was taking, I was poring as much into myself. One step at a time I moved closer to the edge of the service shaft. I was verbally screaming now as I grew closer to my goal. Every fiber of my being was in intense agony. I used every bit of power that I could summon to my will to fuel my body. I lifted Palpatine over my head in one final gesture of defiance and then hurled him down the shaft. As soon as he was free from my grip, my body failed. I could acutally feel the servos and motors that I had been pulsing with the Force finally give in to destruction. My legs collapsed under me and I fell heavily on my broken ribs, driving them in and upward into fragile lungs. It was worth it.

 

An explosion of dark energy rushed up from the shaft - the result of the Emperor's destruction. As the wave washed over me inundating me even more with damage, I only had one thought in my head, I was free.

Edited May 15, 2009 by Guest

[Amidala Skywalker]

First off, welcome back! It's great to see you again!

 

About the viggie--very powerful. I really enjoyed it. You really captured the emotions of the scene, and I loved the POV. Anakin's thoughts breaking through Vader's mind really struck me, and the last line was chilling and freeing and happy and sad at the same time...

 

There were a few grammatical errors, and a few times you could have reworked the sentences to make it clearer, but nothing that detracted from the story.

 

Overall, I really enjoyed it. It would be great if you were back to hang around for a little while, too (hint, hint ).

[Tiana Calthye]

Whoa. I... vaguely... I think someone recommended I read your old fanfic? I haven't, though, I'm sorry to say.

 

I always liked Vader viggies. Definately my favorite fics to read, to be certain, and this one was some nice angst too. ^_^ I agree with Ami that there were some places where it could've been reworded to be clearer and flow a bit better but it was still a great viggy, great use of the personality and portrayal of Vader alongside Anakin's thoughts and memories.

[Catalyst]

Wow such quick replies. I'm flattered. Thank you so much. After reading both comments, and then rereading what I posted, I have to admit that I didn't do as good a job of proofreading as I thought I did. But in my defense, I only took 20 minutes total from start to finsh and another few to reactivate my account and post. So say 30 minutes total - not bad for only half an hour - if I do have to say so myself.

 

Anyway thank you for your kind words and it's nice to post again. I don't know just how often I'll be able to visit - my 1-1/2 year old really takes a lot of time - but I'll try to be a little more frequent.

 

...and the last line was chilling and freeing and happy and sad at the same time...

what a fabulous comment, Ami. Thank you.

 

 

What say you both to me re-posting After Endor in all of its unfinished glory? I don't plan on finishing it. It's pretty much dead in my brain. But I do remember there are some really good sequences in it. So, would that be a good idea or not?

[Amidala Skywalker]

*shrug* I'm ambivolent. You can repost it if you want to--it was a great fic. Or you could just get the old thread pulled up again. It's probably archived, so you'll have to get Tiana or NavyGal to do it for you, but that might be easier all around. It's up to you.

 

About this fic, it did seem to me that you had probably rush-posted it. We all do that from time to time, for sure.

[Catalyst]

I just ran a search on the board for "After Endor" and it came up. So anybody (ahem, Tiana) can get to that thread that way. Therefore I won't waste room on posting it again... Anyway good to see you, thanks again for your kind comments.

[Lord Ar-Pharazon]

That's what happened with me. Life (marrige, new house, new job, new kids, etc.) intruded in the middle of writing and when I tried to come back to it, I had no idea where I intended to go with it.

 

Marriage. Get a divorce. New house? Bomb it and collect the insurance. New job? Quit! New kids? Sell them into slavery. You'll get more money if they're younger.

 

My sense of humor is really screwed up. Sorry...

 

Anyway, I thought it was funny how you used the word ”œcrooned”

[Catalyst]

All in all, I thought it was good work, and though I do not believe I have seen your writing before, I hope you won't deny me the pleasure to read more of it.

 

Coming from you, I'll take that as a great compliment - since I've read other reviews/comments of yours where you have been pretty harsh (not unwarranted mind you - but harsh just the same).

 

If you want to read something else I've posted then run a search on the boards for "After Endor". It was a pretty long AU fic that I was writing a few years ago. I feel that it has some very strong parts and some not so strong parts. It's good, but unfinished and dead.

[Lord Ar-Pharazon]

Coming from you, I'll take that as a great compliment - since I've read other reviews/comments of yours where you have been pretty harsh (not unwarranted mind you - but harsh just the same).

 

Interesting. . . You've noticed my criticism? That's bizarre, because until recently, most of the posts I've made in this forum were just inflammatory statements, bogus challenges, fake compliments made only to increase my total post count (which no one ever called me on, even though it was obvious I was posting 30 seconds after my previous post ), and crass or crude parodies of other people's work, and my personal favorite: a shallow attempt into scaring everyone into thinking I was going to steal their work and get it copyrighted in my name. Well, I've had a solid, well-needed realignment of priorities, so don't worry. My comments about your story were entirely genuine. But, with that, I will totally serve up a SHAMELESS PLUG.

 

http://forums.jedi.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=36219

[Catalyst]

LAP, I'm well aware of your penchant for incendiary comments and blatant post cout inflation practices. But that's why your genuine comment was a compliment to me. And yes, I've overlooked all of your more immature practices and read some of your other honest critiques. Anyway, I'll read your fic soon. I don't want to start unless I've got a couple of hours to devote to it, then I'll flame...uh I mean, post heartfelt literary criticism (whether you want it or not).

[Tiana Calthye]

LAP, I'm well aware of your penchant for incendiary comments and blatant post cout inflation practices. But that's why your genuine comment was a compliment to me. And yes, I've overlooked all of your more immature practices and read some of your other honest critiques. Anyway, I'll read your fic soon. I don't want to start unless I've got a couple of hours to devote to it, then I'll flame...uh I mean, post heartfelt literary criticism (whether you want it or not).

Did you see the comment I left on his fic? It was probably almost as long as his chapter was and he didn't even tell me to die in a fire. I'm pretty sure you're safe to give inflam--I mean--heartfelt literary criticism there.

[Lord Ar-Pharazon]

LAP, I'm well aware of your penchant for incendiary comments and blatant post cout inflation practices. But that's why your genuine comment was a compliment to me. And yes, I've overlooked all of your more immature practices and read some of your other honest critiques. Anyway, I'll read your fic soon. I don't want to start unless I've got a couple of hours to devote to it, then I'll flame...uh I mean, post heartfelt literary criticism (whether you want it or not).

Did you see the comment I left on his fic? It was probably almost as long as his chapter was and he didn't even tell me to die in a fire. I'm pretty sure you're safe to give inflam--I mean--heartfelt literary criticism there.

 

I have other ways of punishing you Tiana. Other ways...

[Silas]

I'll start off by saying that I absolutely love the 1st person point of view and I think that you did it justice when you wrote this little piece. It was excellent. I actually got goosebumps during Luke's "I am a Jedi like my father before me" line due to the description of how proud Vader felt of his son. You did an excellent job writing that part in particular.

 

There were a few errors scattered through the vignette but I wouldn't say that it detracted from the story in any way. Over all it was a great piece of work that makes me want to go dig up 'After Endor' and read it as well. Perhaps I'll get to it someday.