A Peaceful Scene (Non SW) (Fin)

[JediKaren]

yeah I'm on a roll. Eventually I'll get this perfect. So far, I'm just trying to get into the swing of writing this way. Hope you all enjoy it:

 

Where the sky meets the earth and the sun and moon share an open sky starts the beginning of hope and a new day. Blades of grass, green and strong, grow tall among the trees. The trees are old and sturdy, for nothing has beaten them, nothing has challenged them. A breeze of life swirls around the wide spaces, turning the ears of all, to a point. A golden ray bursts on a drop of water, upon a fallen leaf. A dazzle of blinding sparks cause split second rainbows to glow secret colors. And soon comes a small, furred creature, peeking from a hidden hole. His nose twitches, his body grows still and all falls silent. No noise can be heard, as life continues its soundless path. No human calls or thoughts or emotions disturb this land. No hunter to fear. No death to mourn. Peace takes over and harmony drives this place. Time is endless. A bird, bright with long features, lands on a nearby branch. Her eyes are inquisitive, black and thoughtful, for she is a mother of two. She tilts her head and watches the river carry a branch from a fallen log. Finally, the silence is broken. First a twirl, followed by a rustle, and not soon after, both the bird and animal have left to return to their home. The wind still blows, the sun still shines, and the land is still green. Only the moon and the sun have changed.

[Amidala Skywalker]

I like how you made it come full circle in a few short sentences. You're doing a good job of capturing the feeling of standing in these silent hidden forest glades. I really liked the line about the trees in this one, and the "time is endless" line.

[Lord Ar-Pharazon]

My favorite sentence was "Blades of grass, green and strong, grow tall among the trees." I was able to form a mental image of grass in a very real, almost 3D sort of way. I can imagine the thick, lush green blades of grass as a soft wind dances over them, and they sturdily remain propped up. For whatever reason, I really liked this sentence.