Jump to content

When The Day Arrives [MA/R] (Complete)

Guest Almira

Recommended Posts

Side project, two different perspectives.





Crisp, cool air caused my skirt to flutter as my mother clutched desperately to my hand. Somehow she seemed fragile; the woman that had always comforted me was now seeking solace in my touch. That's what happens when you grow up, or when your father just dies. No one saw this coming; he was only forty-five years old. My mother woke up early a few days ago and when she tried to wake my father he wouldn't budge. They found her in the bathroom wailing, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. I'm not exactly sure what made her scream and not stop. The fact the love of her life was dead, or the fact she'd possibly slept next to a corpse for six hours without realizing it. Her hand shook as she stood to walk past the casket. I'm not what you'd call the emotional type, don't get me wrong I loved my father more than anything, but dying intrigued me. Death itself was one of the most fascinating things about living, the fact you could just die. Everything stops working and you're gone. I listen as family and friends relay how extremely sorry they were that we lost such an amazing man. I try to recall who most of these people are, or if I'd ever seen them before in my life. I can make out a few of them, but the rest I'm not even sure I'd ever seen in my twenty years.



”œI need to go lay down sweety, I can't stay here anymore.”

Edited by Guest
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's a solid start, a nice look at the conflicting emotions that surround the death of a loved one. One suggestion I would make is to watch the run-on sentences, of which there are a fair number- it detracts slightly from the punch of what you're describing.


http://www.themire.co.uk-- being a veracious and lurid account of the goings-on in the savage Mire and the sootblown alleys of Portstown's Rookery!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...



I watched as the woman walked away, and then glanced at the man standing beside me. It was his daughter, I knew that much, he knew she couldn't hear him. I brought him here today to have closure; I do that for most of my ”œclients”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...

I wonder if we'll ever see Almira back on this site. It's too bad she didn't write more stuff like this. I really actually enjoyed this. It wasn't too bad at all. I liked the title too, but unfortunately it reminded me of a Nick Cage movie, which is obviously not cool at all. I always had Almira pegged as just writing romantic pornography. It's good to see her dabble.


[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...