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Lord Ar-Pharazon

Star Wars: Advent of Shadows - Updated 9/19/2011

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You guys are right. Unstickied!


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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.

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Lol, Tiana.

 

I think I like it better as an announcement...and I'm sure LAP will too because now it's the first thing on the page.


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SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.

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Thanks Tiana!

 

Lol, Tiana. I think I like it better as an announcement...and I'm sure LAP will too because now it's the first thing on the page.

 

You're starting to figure me out. Of course, it didn't take a lot to know I would enjoy something like this.

 

Also, to Obi-Quiet: please check your PM Box. I got your PM yesterday, and you sounded really confused, and I checked my outbox, which showed me that you haven't received my PM from a few days ago. I think it'll remedy some of your confusion.


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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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You're welcome. Now go update it. It IS an announcement, after all.


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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.

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Well, I've sent out the next part to ATS, so the ball is in her court at this point. I really like how this thread is an announcement though. That's awesome. So, to give the readers something, I will provide the following pictures...

 

Here's a preview regarding the next chapter:

 

NEW CHARACTERS:

 

***

 

I'm making an edit and pulling the picturess from this post, to reduce the overall number of pictures in this thread for a faster load. I reposted them below, with their chapter.

Edited by Guest

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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

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Looking forward to the next installment! Also, I am tickled at seeing Suikoden artwork >_>


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Looking forward to the next installment! Also, I am tickled at seeing Suikoden artwork >_>

 

Haha, I thought I would put those excellent pics to use. I'm a huge fan of the Suikoden series, and this is my indirect little homage. I know KKVC is also a huge fan of the series, and I especially love 1 and 2, but I didn't expect anyone else to recognize them. That's great. Maybe you'll get a kick out of some of the pictures I'll employ in the future too. I've expanded away from just Suikoden, because as I've spent more time looking for pictures, I've found more and more from other areas too. The chapter after next will be the first with a Non-Suikoden pic though. Sorry...


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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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Ahaha. Im a composer eh? Interesting. Cant wait to see the next chapter Ben, one of the few Fan Fics ive ever actually followed closely!


1fE1uLv.png

I ate a hippo. It was delicious.

May the Forth therve you well...

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Heh, I love how you incorporate yourself into the story. That's so you.

 

Ah, but in all seriousness bud, it's really good so far! I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.


"Even if this land shall expire, thou may be able to prevent further corrosion. But even so, one day the flames will fade, and only Dark will remain. And even a legend such as thineself can do nothing to stop that."

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Nice pics...I find it very amusing that Raynuk is a composer. I think we're all looking forward to the next part!


amipaint2.jpg

SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.

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Yes yes Hallie, laugh it up. I am a composer, and considering Dakin is a Vocalist, I have a general idea of what my part to play in the story is.

 

But really Ben? A HARP!?


1fE1uLv.png

I ate a hippo. It was delicious.

May the Forth therve you well...

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Yes yes Hallie, laugh it up. I am a composer, and considering Dakin is a Vocalist, I have a general idea of what my part to play in the story is.

 

But really Ben? A HARP!?

 

Okay. I want your prediction. What part in the story are you going to play?


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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

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Well, based on that you told me I was already mentioned, and given that my chatacter is a composer, Im assuming I am the Jedi on the Harp. As such, I would also assume that im the leader of the band for the ceremony


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I ate a hippo. It was delicious.

May the Forth therve you well...

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Chapter Three: Composition and Dissidence

 

Night continued to descend over the Jedi Temple, the silvery glow of the skyscrapers in the distance resisting the falling darkness. The enormous district surrounding the Jedi Temple echoed with noisy chatter and excitement, nearly drowning out the orchestral performance set below the high balcony.

 

At the formal request of Adi-Wan Tinova, Raynuk Montar, Jedi Knight and musical prodigy, strummed up an ornate golden harp. For the hours leading up to the Grandmaster’s inauguration, he played with masterful precision. Raynuk had played and sung many well-known songs about courageous Jedi and their memorable victories over the infamous Sith, as scored by the galaxy’s most notable composers. It was gratifying to play in such a venue, for such distinguished company.

 

While Raynuk enjoyed performing music, he thoroughly loved composing it. In his estimation, anyone, over time, could skillfully learn to play an instrument, but true mastery of music lay in its creation. As a Jedi, and an accomplished composer, he sought perfection in both realms, and seldom did an opportunity arrive in which the two so uniquely crossed paths.

 

He sang of Obi-Wan Kenobi and his brave soldiers, who fought their way across Muunilist in a desperate battle of the Clone Wars, driving deep into the armies of the Intergalactic Banking Clan.

 

Back across the galaxy,

flying back with heads held high.

No surrender, with lightsaber,

no surrender, clone or Jedi.

Honor be theirs, ever after,

Those that fought on Muunulist.

 

He also sang of Mace Windu, who, with his own hands, defeated an entire battalion of Seperatist droids in the wake of a gigantic seismic tank. He provided a musical narration of the Tragedy of Count Dooku, a Jedi of legend seduced by the powers of a mysterious Sith Master. Raynuk received tremendous applause for his rendition of the famous tale of the capture and rescue rogue-turned-hero, Han Solo, from the clutches of a vile Hutt lord.

 

As the night progressed, the opportunity to perform an original composition approached. Raynuk noticed that his allotted time was all but depleted. It was an all too common circumstance. Knowing he had mere minutes, he selected one particular piece – one of his favorites, and also his latest completed work. He signaled the band to prepare and for his accompanying vocalist to take the lead solo, before he sat down to pluck the harp once more. Real music, finally.

 

Raynuk’s vocalist, Dakin Lee, was a gifted young gal. Also a multitalented Jedi Knight, she eagerly offered her musical abilities to Adi-Wan’s celebration too. What she lacked in experience, she made up with remarkable talent and a pretty face. Her dress was showy – guaranteed to attract attention. Raynuk certainly approved.

 

When the song was finished, it was met with loud, lengthy applause. While taking her bow, Dakin received loud whistles and cheers. Raynuk too was met with strong applause, but less than that of his accompanist. He rose back up, swallowed his heart, and proceeded back to his position with Dakin in tow. On his face, he wore a sullen expression. It never fails. The singer always receives more praise than the song writer.

 

The intense spotlight shifted onto the Jedi Council – standing prominently in a circular formation around Adi-Wan Tinova. Raynuk, though, sat in his spot, next to the performance stage, reflecting on the effectiveness of his newly unveiled song. It dominated his mind.

 

“I’ve never been so nervous in my life,” said Dakin, breaking his concentration.

 

“You were exceptional,” replied Raynuk, with a smile. “Exceptional. Far better than I had expected.”

 

“Well, it was a pretty song,” she said. “You’re a remarkable composer.”

 

“Thank you,” responded Raynuk. “It turned out well.”

 

“I thought it was terrific, but I’d better be quiet. It looks like things are finally getting underway.”

 

“Ah… yes,” he agreed, with a hint of hesitation, unsure of what else to say.

 

The Jedi Council was obviously intent on getting started. But Raynuk remained focused on his composition, analyzing all possible elements. Every chord progression, with the tempo and dynamics, and each intended emotional response captured his thoughts. He had spent countless weeks perfecting the piece in every possible way, and it frustrated him greatly to see that the crowds cheered more for Dakin than the intricacies of the piece itself. It didn’t make sense. Dakin would be nothing without the song. Raynuk’s frustration twisted into anger. It lasted only a moment.

 

When Jidai Geki finished presenting, Dakin took advantage of the momentary silence, and turned back to Raynuk once again. “Do you think I’ll have the opportunity to sing with you again, Raynuk? I would very much like that.”

 

Her question caught Raynuk off guard, but he was calmer now. “We’ll just have to see,” he responded inanely. He caught himself before appearing too awkward, and even managed an enthusiastic smile. “I certainly don’t see why not. Aside from that, Dakin, I would like to see you again. We could take a walk, tonight, after the celebration, or perhaps, we could picnic outside City Center."

 

“I would like that,” she replied.

 

“Splendid. I would too.”

 

***

 

All eyes were on the elevated balcony, where Jidai Geki, the longest tenured member of the Jedi Council, solemnly glanced down upon Adi-Wan Tinova, who remained kneeling before him. The rest of the Jedi Council stood gathered around them.

 

“Adi-Wan, my dear boy,” whispered Geki proudly, with his hands clasped behind him. “Good to see you here. Are you ready to proceed?”

 

“I am,” replied Adi-Wan, confidently.

 

A sudden, total silence overtook the Jedi Temple, despite the excited multitudes surrounding the sizable structure from all directions. The anticipated moment had finally arrived.

 

“Then you may begin,” directed Geki, quietly.

 

“I, Adi-Wan Tinova, as the Grandmaster, in the presence of the Jedi Council, do hereby swear to safeguard the Jedi Order and the systems of the Galactic Republic; to use all my talents, power, and abilities in the sacred responsibilities undertaken by me, to devote myself to the service of the people, the glory of the Jedi Order, promotion of safety and morality, support of justice, to refrain from tyranny, to protect freedom and dignity of all peoples, to spare no efforts in safeguarding the frontiers of the political, economic, and cultural freedoms of the galaxy; to guard the power entrusted to me by the Jedi Order as a sacred trust like an honest and faithful trustee, by seeking help from my fellow Masters and following the examples of the Grandmasters before me. May peace be upon them, the Council, and all peoples, now and forever.”

 

Jidai Geki smiled as Adi-Wan completed the hallowed recitation. Now it was his turn.

 

“You are sealed to us now, Adi-Wan Tinova, Grandmaster. On behalf of the Jedi Council, we receive you, and do you great homage, by virtue of the charge we have also undertaken. We swear that we will uphold you inviolability and the rights of your office. We additionally affirm that we will do everything that good and true Jedi Masters should do.” He paused for emphasis, showing signs of a slight smile. “May the Force be with you.”

 

“And with all Jedi,” responded Adi-Wan, to Geki and the Council, with a slight bow.

 

Finally…

 

Without hesitation, Geki advanced to the balcony’s edge, to deliver the final section of his recitation. He stared down the crowd with his deep-set, dark eyes, taking a brief breath before urgently delivering the expected proclamation.

 

“We have a Grandmaster.” His voice was not loud, but it was amplified by the vast array of microphones and the audio assimilation droids hovering about, sending the short message to billions across the galaxy. Immediately the crowds exploded with a tumultuous roar of cheers and applause. Fireworks crackled high above, bright silver and gold bursts lighting up the night sky. Adi-Wan stood up, moved forward, and met the crowds with outstretched arms, garnering even louder reception.

 

As Adi-Wan began to address the crowd, Jidai Geki hurriedly retreated through the gateway into the antechamber, heading back inside the Jedi Temple. Remaining outside certainly did not appeal to him. But much to his chagrin, even on the inside, the celebration continued. He was not one for loud parties and long celebrations. As he strode towards the apartments of the Jedi Council members, he passed many hired servants and Padawan learners shuffling about, performing their various assigned duties. If luck held, no one would see nor bother him. Eager to go unnoticed, Geki knew that certain members of the Council would consider his premature departure overtly discourteous.

 

“Master, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be outside?” asked a serving boy, catching Geki off guard from behind.

 

Blasted boy! In no real mood to be bothered, Geki paused for a moment, and considered delivering a verbal lashing, when the boy, once again, caught him by surprise.

 

“Are you feeling sick, Master?” the boy asked. “You look spent.”

 

Geki had no great desire to speak with the boy, but his position on the Council obliged him to remain cordial. Closing his mouth, Geki managed a weak, “Of course.” This route was easier anyway. “That’s precisely the matter. And I’ll be taking that.” He grabbed the pitcher from boy, long enough for a long draw, before pushing it back into the boy’s hands. As the boy received the drinking vessel, Geki noticed he wore a Padawan’s braid.

 

“Hurry along, youngling, and finish whatever task is at hand. Then, I believe you are free for the evening. Consider this a formal dispensation from your duties,” declared Geki, waving his hand in a manner of dismissal.

 

The boy’s eyes lit up as bright as the fireworks. “Thank you Master. Thank you very much.”

 

“Now get moving,” Geki replied, anxious to reach his room. The boy quickly hurried away, down the hall and towards the festivities.

 

Attempting, once again, to avoid detection, Geki made his way through another hall, then down some stairs, into the restricted area where the various apartments of the Jedi Council members were located. Upon reaching his private quarters, he slammed his palm onto a sensor to unlock the door.

 

Before the device completed its scan of Geki’s hand, a familiar voice called out from behind. “Ah, Jidai Geki, my old friend, I did not know that you were home – at this hour.” The voice was that of Hale Akturus, a fellow member of the Jedi Council who, like himself, had gained a great deal of seniority. “But, I did think there was a strong possibility.”

 

Frustrated, Geki turned to meet him. “Well you’ve caught me. What could you possibly want with me right now?”

 

“Old friend, forgive my impoliteness, but there are pressing matters to attend to.” Hale chuckled. “The moment is now, for the rest of the Jedi Council is meeting above. They should be up there at least two more hours. So what better time for likeminded individuals such as ourselves to assemble?”

 

“Since we’re not above, they will be wondering already,” speculated Geki. “Is it worth the added risk?”

 

“But of course,” answered Hale. “Know well that I am meeting the others, with or without your presence, thus I highly suggest you find yourself at my apartment in ten minutes’ time.”

 

“All right,” acquiesced Geki grudgingly. “I will not tarry long.”

 

***

 

NEW CHARACTERS:

 

scaled.php?server=40&filename=raynukmontar.png&res=medium

 

Raynuk Montar

Position: Jedi Knight/Composer

Age: 27 Years

Species: Human

 

 

 

 

scaled.php?server=31&filename=dakinlee.png&res=medium

 

Dakin Lee

Position: Jedi Knight/Vocalist

Age: 20 Years

Species: Human

 

 

 

 

scaled.php?server=3&filename=jidaigeki.png&res=medium

 

Jidai Geki

Position: Jedi Master/Biologist

Age: 60 Years

Species: Human

 

 

 

 

scaled.php?server=23&filename=haleakturus.png&res=medium

 

Hale Akturus

Position: Jedi Master/Diplomat

Age: 57 Years

Species: Human

Edited by Guest

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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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Yay! He posted more! *is happy*

 

I found that this chapter seemed to drag a bit, though. That is to be expected with the formalities, though, so no worries.

 

"She was a talented young gal", that phrase really bothered me. The rest of the chapter seemed very sophisticated, to an extent that "gal" really stood out and distracted.

 

*wants to smack Raynuk* Of course people will applause what is the most apparent. If you don't like it DON'T BECOME A COMPOSER! Sorry...kind of a sore spot for me as my family is very musical. Of course, I can understand being drawn to music no matter what, but still...you know?

 

Anywho, looking forward to more.


You know the closer you get to something

The tougher it is to see it,

And I'll Never take it for granted,

Let's go!

 

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*Cowers into the corner* Dont hit me!

 

ITS NOT MY FAUUULLLTT


1fE1uLv.png

I ate a hippo. It was delicious.

May the Forth therve you well...

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I have to agree with Obi-quiet... it was a little bit draggie, but then I am one that likes to skip over the detailing to get to the juicy parts. Good Job Ben... Can't wait for the next chapter.


"When in doubt, Get the Hell out!!!"

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I'm actually going to disagree and say I liked this section a lot. It showed some more of the culture of the period. And since I'm a big music nut, I loved all the parts about Raynuk analysing his piece...I do exactly the same thing.

 

I thought this section was good for character development...and now I'm suspicious of Akturus and Geki.


amipaint2.jpg

SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.

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I found the 'talented young gal' drove home how Raynuk thinks of Dakin... everything else is sophistocated but here he thinks of her as just 'a young gal'. I wanted to smack him too, but I think that's the whole point of the character...

 

And, Raynuk the poster, don't worry. We won't hit you. Just the character based on you.

 

To be honest, it was my favorite chapter so far. I mean, it FINALLLY got to the main event. But I think the real reason I liked it was the vibes I got from the first bit... and then the last, wonderfully action promising bit. It's like... "finally, the plot might go somewhere instead of being a bunch of Jedi talking about someone and partying!"

 

It reminded me of reading the Fellowship of the Ring, to be honest: you've started with the promise of a party, given us the party, analasized a poem, created the potential of romantic tension, and now finally there's the whisper of an undercurrent of something a bit darker...

 

Very much like the Fellowship of the Ring, in fact.


spsig.jpg

Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.

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See, what I got from it was that Raynuk the composer was a little let down that he put so much work into it, and yet it was Dakin who got all the attention. He feels a little left out, but then with the conversation he has with her, to me seemed to cool his frustration, as if hes saying

 

"Well, at least she got the praise instead of someone else less worthy"

 

I would almost go so far as to say that he has... a special place in his mind for Dakin.


1fE1uLv.png

I ate a hippo. It was delicious.

May the Forth therve you well...

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I'm glad that I finally got around to reading this. I told you I would eventually.

 

There's really nothing for me to say that hasn't already been said. Yes, there were a few grammatical errors but they didn't detract from the story. It was very descriptive which I liked. It was kinda creepy at the end of the last chapter though. I was reading Hale's dialouge and I imagined the voice that I thought he would have. When I saw the picture of him I was thinking to myself that that's exactly what I thought he would have looked like. Excellently done good sir.

 

And I really enjoyed this last chapter in particular. I plan on majoring in Music Education after my senior year so all of this musicy stuff made me smile.


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Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05

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I appreciate the commentary. I hope you guys don't mind if I respond. I know that most musicians wouldn't care about the applause and would be willing to understand that the good-looking performer is going to get the praise, but Raynuk is a little more than just an average musician. In fact, he looks at music in a much deeper way than any of you, being that he's a prodigy/genius, who lives for this. He's a Jedi, yes, but he's also a musician, and I think it's obvious what he holds to be more important. He's a one of a kind master of music, and his viewpoint is much narrower and far more neurotic than the average composer.

 

Silas, I'm eager to see what grammatical errors you were referring to.

 

I'm glad you guys liked this latest part. I'm sorry it took so darn long. I've got a big chunk of the next part done and I wrote almost a page today. I'll try to get it done as soon as possible.


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[Associate of the Illinois Mafia since November 2002.]

Member of the Four Horsemen

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