Silas Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I'm glad that I finally got around to reading this. I told you I would eventually. There's really nothing for me to say that hasn't already been said. Yes, there were a few grammatical errors but they didn't detract from the story. It was very descriptive which I liked. It was kinda creepy at the end of the last chapter though. I was reading Hale's dialouge and I imagined the voice that I thought he would have. When I saw the picture of him I was thinking to myself that that's exactly what I thought he would have looked like. Excellently done good sir. And I really enjoyed this last chapter in particular. I plan on majoring in Music Education after my senior year so all of this musicy stuff made me smile. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 So, uh...Hey Ben, when are you going to update this? I was actually following a story as it was being posted for once and you ran out on us. I demand more. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 You moved to another country? Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 No responses yet?! A very well written chapter, Ben. There were one or two words missing that didn't in any way detract from the story, but its worth mentioning just so you can be on the lookout in future chapters. Krystal is definitely my favorite character thus far. You've developed both her and Ar-Pharazon beautifully and I can't wait to see where you go with them. Well done, good sir. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 Yeah, I was definitely seeing some parallels between Chazi and Anakin. I was wondering if Chazi's character would be exploited in the same way that Anakin's was. Guess we'll have to wait and see! Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 So what's a guy got to do to get an update around here? Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 So shit obviously went down in this chapter. As I believe that you handle critiques quite well, I'm going to give it to you straight. I don't think that this chapter was your best. I'm not sure if this was the case, but it feels like you were powering through the plot ideas that you wanted to include in this chapter in an effort to pump out an update before your readers grew restless. I feel like your other chapters had far more description in them which lent an air of maturity to them that I think this chapter lacked. Since there was so much happening, it makes sense that you would have less description but it, and I use the word lightly, disappointed me a bit as I have always loved your vivid and colorful imagination and it didn't come through as brightly as I would have liked to see. A few housekeeping items (I might have missed some because it is 5:30 a.m. here and I'm quite tired): ”œApparently,” Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 so, ben, is this the real chapter? Yeah, if this isn't the real chapter then I'm going to feel like a complete and utter jackass for spending an hour and a half trying to help you out. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Well... Ben still owes a chapter then. Pay up, good sir. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silas Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Not annoyed in the least. It allowed me to do more of the absolute nothing that I was already doing. But you still owe me a chapter. Proud member of the JNET Addicts Club since November '05 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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