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Star Wars: Where The Eyes Open (WUT)


Tiana Calthye
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Where The Eyes Open

A Star Wars AU

 

Genre: Drama, action. (That advertising signature with chibis is a joke, really...)

Rating: PG-13 for action sequences, mild language, and angst.

Disclaimer/Author’s note: This is a Star Wars AU. It means it wouldn’t happen, and cannot happen, canonically. It does not contain any weird pairings or slash. Just a bunch of violence and angst quantum mechanics and things that aren’t canon. Lucas owns all but the original stuff which if you want to steal, PM me first.

 

I dedicate this story to Amidala Skywalker. You challenged me to write, to write well, and to write Star Wars. You’ll be missed and your return awaited. And when I write The End on this story (JUST WATCH ME!), that’s for you. Props to Jandalf for prereading.

 

 

(click for back cover)

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*review blurbs may possibly have been taken out of context, ellipsised, or stolen from the comments on my trailer.

 

 

 

Trailer:

Text trailer (scroll down a bit to find the video link on this page.)

"NOW PLAYING" trailer, completely different from the first.

 

 

 

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-Prologue-

 

Look.

 

See?

 

This is the galaxy.

 

It unfolds beneath your feet. Look, see—see the fragments and shadows and broken stars that fill this blank with color. See the planets…

 

…ships…

 

……people……

 

And the dark. It’s only occasionally broken when you look closer and see just how large this galaxy underneath your bare feet is.

 

Take a step.

 

Breathe.

 

It fills your lungs with black.

 

See, these planets? A yellow gem, a blue stone, an earthen orb, an obsidian marble only shattered by sparks of gold. Name them. Coruscant. Sullust. Yavin. Kashyyyk. Utapau. And stars… they gleam with life and death. They ask a question; is there Light, or is there Dark? Which is it that binds this galaxy together? So many thoughts and questions to penetrate as you’re drawn closer to this black hole, a void and vacuum that drains all life and matter into an untouchable maw. It’s there, it grabs your mind…

 

…You can’t step away.

 

Its eyes have been opened.

 

You—

Edited by Guest

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Wow, it's here! I really like what you've got so far, though it may take me a while to get used to the idea of Qui-Gon as a Sith.

 

I am very impressed by your cover. How did you do that? (I am the kind of person who can barely use Microsoft Paint, which can be rather frustrating at times. )

 

You seem to have an extra letter near the end of the second post. I assume that you meant to say,

Hey, who called it? as opposed to vHey, who called it?

 

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed it, and am looking forward to more!

GaladrielKenobi3.jpg

"Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought." --- Abraham Lincoln

"We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang seperately." --- Benjamin Franklin in the movie, 1776

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I am very impressed by your cover. How did you do that? (I am the kind of person who can barely use Microsoft Paint, which can be rather frustrating at times. )

Without Paint.

 

You clicked to see the whole thing, right? I LIKE my whole thing, but posting it all stretched the board... snrk. Anyway, I went image hunting... Padme picture is from a Star Wars comic, and I think the Obi-Wan one might be too. The Anakin one was fanart. Rest are from the movies... I put the movie Coruscant background down on a plain layer, then put the "spine" in as a black block. Then I put the three people images down... Anakin's on the bottom layer, and stuff... and used the eraser tool to blend them into each other and make it opaque where necessary. The text involved a bit of manpulation... a few layers to get the effects... all this is stuff you can't do on text, starting right with "layers". If you want a cover, I can do one if you can describe more or less what you want and possibly help find images.

 

Trust me, Paint is not a good program to do graphics in. Try out Gimp if you're going for free, or get a trial for Photoshop, or Paint Shop Pro, or Arcsoft Photostudio (which is what I use for a lot of stuff, until I get a new computer when I'll be able to USE Photoshop or something fancy. Works, and it's simple enough...)

 

You seem to have an extra letter near the end of the second post.

Yeah, I put my BBC code in on Word and used paste to put it in, must've held the V down a bit long. Fixed.

 

I really like what you've got so far, though it may take me a while to get used to the idea of Qui-Gon as a Sith.

Yeah... well... you'll have to also get used to that what you define a "Sith" as isn't what Sith necessarily are in this story. It's very AU. It'll explain itself as it goes, more. I forgot, you weren't one of the readers for my "New Sith Order: Mirrormath". You're not familiar with how very VERY AU my AUs are, and very alternate dimension toying I am. Qui-Gon is very much as he is in TPM. Uh, I'll start being quiet now.

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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I liked how you started it. Qui Gon a sith... hmm... as said above, that'll take some getting used to.

The prologue, or chapter one? Either way, good, I was really worried about my beginning. Quiggy... well... yeah, some backstory will explain, but for now, all you people having trouble getting used to it will just have to accept that Sith in this universe isn't quite so Sith in canon universe.

 

Thanks. I'll finish posting chapter one in a few days, or so.

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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I just decide that I have some free time and I decide to drop by, and I see that it's here!!!!

 

Very nice start, T! Nice job dropping the bomb that Qui-Gon is a Sith Master at the end of the first part of chapter one. I think it worked so well because Qui-Gon is still the same as he is as a Jedi. No one suspected anything. I'm very interested to see this pan out.

 

Beautiful covers, and I loved the feel of the prologue.

 

I've always been a big fan of your writing (as you know ) and so far, this hasn't disappointed me one bit!

 

I'll have to try to do my best to drop in more often, now that I know you have this up and going. I have a feeling the story won't leave me alone...

 

And I'm very honored, and look forward to you completing this one!

 

Keep up the great work.

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SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.
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I loved the feel of the prologue.

Thanks, I was really worried about posting that. I know some people (well, Miss Snark. Snrk.) hate prologues. And in published stuff, I hate them too. But a fanfic doesn't have to be publishable material. Just an interesting read.

 

Thank you for your review. I wasn't expecting many. And now I see I even get one or two unexpected ones--thanks, Navy. Ami. Skye. Galadriel. I do plan to complete this. I know EXACTLY where I am going. (hides) I worry it's predictable. I worry it's not worth it. But I'll try get past my insecurities about a fanfic at long last and try post regularly instead.

 

The rest of chapter one will be up in a couple days.

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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A/N: Originally the first half of this was supposed to be chapter one, but for forum posting's sake, and for the sake of more pretty headers, I have decided to make more, shorter, chapters and not split them up like I did before.

 

4pxijp0.jpg

 

-Chapter Two-

”œRebreathers!”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry for the short update, this is the rest of chapter two. The next scene is pretty long and needs to be posted all as one, anyway.

 

<><><>

 

Five handmaidens kept out of the Empress's way as she completed her morning routine. There was always a guard at her side, always one of her female, non-Force sensitive trained maidens in the room. Here things were quieter, for anyone to get in to assassinate the Empress they would have had to break through walls of steel and bars of pure Force energy. The palace was protected by darkness itself.

 

It was safe for the handmaidens to keep their sticky, hot headpieces off, and three of them lounged off duty in the living room, chattering aimlessly about this guard and the new swimming pool and gym that had been put in near the north end of the sector. The other two were silent””Madine worked through a rigorous stretching ritual and, Padmé thought, probably internally gloated that she would look as if she was at least doing something when the Empress exited her sealed meditation chamber. This was the only place Dailyn escaped continual eyes, when she entered the black cavity made in the middle of her room. The walls were two metres thick, bulletproof, blasterproof, lightsaberproof, fireproof, waterproof, airtight with a regulated self contained oxygen system, unhackable, bashproof, and, likely, if the planet was destroyed in some freak divine act of interference, would still survive the blow””and the following time in vacuum, until the Empress died from lack of food and water.

 

The other three handmaidens, Padmé thought as she wrote in her journal, were no less for their choice of activity. All five were trained furiously from young ages, trained to protect the Empress at the cost of their own life. It was said there were others in training in case the select few were killed. And they were. Every day hung the weight that one of them would die in the stead of their Queen and ruler. Every day risked losing a close companion and coworker from what could have felt like forever””but attachment was an even worse risk. There was Madine, the continually practicing one. She was as physically honed as it was possible for any human to be. There was Nabida, the animal lover and empath. There was never a risk of crazed animals killing the Empress when Nabida was around. There was Ashinda, the illusionist. They said she was Force-sensitive, but hadn't made the cut. Her resemblance to the Empress had brought the Tatooine nomad from her training into yet another training regime. And then there was Tavell, the taste-tester and cook. She was a genius with poisons and chemicals and no one had ever got anything past her yet. And if they tried, a few days later they'd find themselves in bed, vomiting their internal organs out.

 

And there's me. Padmé, thought Padmé. She was the diplomat of the team, the hopeless romantic while still the politician. She was a deadly shot with a blaster or any other ranged weapon, but even more deadly with her mind. Where Madine could kill someone with only one finger free, Padmé could talk them down to size and make them wish they had never been born.

 

She wondered what it would have been like, to be born somewhere else. All she knew was that she had been born on Naboo””her parents had taken her away before she was old enough to remember anything more than smoke and ash and black. Then Coruscant had been her glistening home until the Empire had found her”¦

 

As, she supposed, everyone else's story was. No one had the right to ask. It wasn't need-to-know information.

 

A hiss startled her from her thoughts and she rose with all the others, as the Empress exited her black chamber and emerged into the crisp white of the room. She only blinked twice at the sudden flood of light; if she showed any other displacement symptoms, no one else noticed as they were on their knees in a moment.

 

As one, they spoke. ”œMy Lady.”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Yay! You gave us more! Interesting descriptions of the handmaidens. Also, that little insight about Padme's journal is wiggling around in my brain. I can't help but wonder if the journal is going to end up in the wrong hands...

 

As always, I love the way you write and can't wait for more.

GaladrielKenobi3.jpg

"Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought." --- Abraham Lincoln

"We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang seperately." --- Benjamin Franklin in the movie, 1776

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Tiana...you never cease to impress me as an author. Every time that I think you couldn't possibly come up with another original idea like this, you manage to come up with something totally cool. I'm really excited about this one...as usual, your writing is top-notch.

 

Introducing Qui-Gon has a Sith was just brilliant; you're so subtle sometimes. You're doing an excellent job of setting up this new world. hehe...I love AUs. Messing up George's characters never really gets old, does it?

 

I look forward to reading more. You've got some really good stuff going here.

 

Obi-gone

Obi-Gones-Award.gif

 

"The circle is complete! Now I [Obi-here] am the angst Master!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks, Obi-Here. As you're about to see, it involves more than one world. Thanks for the compliments, and, no, it doesn't ever get old.

 

I don't find my writing top-notch, I think I always have room for improvement. I hope with the introduction of MORE plot, you still like it. This is a bit of a twist. Now, see author note, and the first part of CHAPTER THREE!

 

 

 

A/N: Scenes take place in between the alternate universe, and the canon universe””more specifically, there are scenes that occur in the universe where history was different””and scenes that occur in the universe where history is the same as it happened in canon. Because of this, there are characters that occur in both universes. I leave it to you to tell by context whether it's an alternate version, or the ”œcanonical”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Interesting. Are we going to find out what was sabotaged, or is that irrelevant? Would it be correct to assume that Obi-Wan is about to be transported into the alternate universe?

 

"If the Jedi Order is ever destroyed, Obi-Wan reasoned, I'll be perfectly qualified for a career in the circus."

 

This was my favorite line!

GaladrielKenobi3.jpg

"Freedom is not the right to do what we want, but what we ought." --- Abraham Lincoln

"We must all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang seperately." --- Benjamin Franklin in the movie, 1776

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Maybe.

 

Thanks for the review.

 

Here is the rest of chapter three! (yeah, I'm posting half chapters, more or less, each time)

 

 

<><><>

 

 

A screech from the alley startled Ambassador Ellne Neihm, but not enough that she didn't graciously set down the fruit basket she was holding before running in the direction of the scream. The Force nudged her and she found herself quickly at the mouth of the alley, a sobbing girl in a soaked-through undershirt and pants.

 

”œDadine shoved me in the hole and now I can't remember where home is!”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Great stuff, T! I like that last part--"Maybe we could bring grunge back while we're at it". Hilarious. I love how you delve into the characters' minds and they come out so real!

 

Very intruiging, mysterious, and all sorts of good words like that. I'm having more of a hard time getting into this fic, but the writing is strong enough to keep me coming back. So far I don't like it as much as some of your other stuff, but I can't put my finger on exactly why I feel that way. I'll let you know if I figure it out. Maybe it's just that it's all introductory right now and that it seems like there is no real story per se. Yet.

 

Anyway, I'm enjoying it whenever I pop back in.

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SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.
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I know what you mean. I can explain easily what makes this less likable. It doesn't jump into the action, it's a lot of introduction, a lot of just... characters being characters right now. Unfortunately, I found I was required to do that to introduce the setting and the characters because... it becomes very fast pased later. If it was an original fiction, I would have jumped in at the point where my first trailer begins. But here, it's a fanfic, I HAVE to intruduce the characters and what's going on. I'm sorry you're not getting into it. I'd change my beginnings if I could. It evolved a bit once I started really getting into the writing. I'd probably start with chapter three because that's where it starts getting more exciting, less description. I'd dump it, but I've written 9 chapters, DAMMIT, and I am NOT giving up on this one! I AM NOT. I love my plot, I love my world, I love my background... just something with my writing's off and there's not enough people active in fanfic to give me a hand and point things out for me. And what I recognize is wrong is too big to fix. Sadly, that means I'm not going to get any readers, no matter how cool it is.

 

To be honest, I hate everything I write. The fact that someone else doesn't like what I'm doing is just proof that I'm totally messing this story up. I should stop writing, because I'm just hurting myself by doing it. I'm NOT a good writer. I'm not even a good reader. Just a good critic. (sighs)

 

You're right. There is no real story yet. Actually, no, that's a lie. There's a real story. I just drowned it in one of the things I complain about most as a reader: history dumping. At least it was well written history dumping, but... ugh. That's the problem. I massacured the canon universe and no one would make sense of this story without knowing all this background. Maybe I'll drop it. Maybe I'll rewrite it as an original story. I don't think anything I write is worth reading, though - and your opinion just clarifies that. It's not that I don't like critism, it's just that I already think very lowly of what I write. (Knowitall egotistical brat? Not likely! I'm critical because I don't want other people to write as badly as I do!)

 

It starts getting more interesting now, at least, I hope. Especially since my chapter quotes are becoming less relevant and more relevant. >.>

 

Chapter four, in its entirety! It was fairly short, anyway. If anyone leaves a crit, none on the tense, please. I know it's a different tense--intentional--and I know it may not maintain the present tense all the way through. Sorry. Live with it. =P

 

 

 

cp4.jpg

-Chapter Four-

”œThen be my darkness.”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Wow........drastic change from the post before this to this one. I really liked this chapter! And I'm not just saying that. Now that stuff is the Tiana I'm used to. Very well done. I love how you didn't just reveal who the criminal looked like right away...you held it off until later. It built suspense and dragged me deeper into the story. See, now I want to know who this guy is! I'm sure he's not dead...

 

Ooh...suspense. I don't know what you did differently here, but I really enjoyed this last chapter. Not it feels like you're back in full force. Great work, T!!!

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SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.
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I know exactly what I did different: that chapter relied on POV to move forward rather than telling. XP I know what I'm doing wrong, I'm a critic--but I've written enough in this voice I can't change it now. x_o Ah well.

 

I'll admit to something I don't think you'll ever here again.

 

I read some of my own work. I picked NSO up and reread the chapter with Luke/Mara vs Maul's duel, and my last chapter.

 

I wanted to shoot myself.

 

I had built up the suspense so very, very well that even I was mad I ended on that cliffie. Will I ever act on this? Who knows! We'll see how much time I get. (dies)

 

Without further ado, all of chapter five! I do have Nano to complete so once I've posted all I've got, you may have to wait a ways for updates my, ah, loyal readers? (glares) WHERE ARE MY LOYAL READERS??

 

chapter5-nightmare.jpg

 

-Chapter Five-

”œOur studies have revealed that a great many amateur writers tend to begin their tales with a description of the weather or a dream””why this is, our scientists have never truly ascertained, except the possibility that””just perhaps”” the volatile nature of dreams appeals widely to the overreactive imaginations of those who would seek to escape the system. Whereas, contrary to the fact, weather is something very real to many of us and part of the system: two very paradoxal beginning representing the wholeness of the universe: light and dark, fantasy and reality”¦ who doesn't seek to make fantasy reality?”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Just finished up with Chapter 2. I must say, when I started reading i thought "great, another story about Qui-Gon nobody needs". I must say i was sorely wrong. Very interesting. A little long for my taste, but I will try to keep up with it.

 

I would, however, like to point out a small error in the first chapter:

What is it, my young apprentice.

Should be a question mark

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The period there was intention, to convey a sort of 'eye rolly' tone, rather than an actual inquiry. Qui-Gon doesn't care what Tanon wants. He already knows, through the POWER OF THE DARK SIDE. (coughs)

 

Yeah. Srsly. I might change it, thanks for pointing it out. But I just narratively justified what may have possibly just been a mistake on my part.

 

I'm glad you think that way... that you're sorely wrong, that is. Which yes, you very are. It is a very long story. It'll be a novel by the time I'm done. And definately not one of those stories about Qui-Gon no one really needs... I think it's AU enough to satisfy you. (And to be honest, Obi and Ani are the main characters. But as a writer, I rarely focus on one main main... possibly a fault, but there you have it.) Thanks for reading (and trying to keep up with it, insanely long though it may be)

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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Love it, love it!

 

Obi-Wan's double appears again...

The Empress and this Dark Lord plot and plan...

Obi-Wan has freaking cool dreams that I wish I could have...

Anakin snacks...

 

Great work, T! Very nice chapter, and you left me hanging again.

 

So now that you went back and re-read NSO and are re-inspired to end our torment, you should do the same with Doorway. And Autumn's Game.

 

~Your ever-loyal reader

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SHE MEANS TO END US ALL!!! DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!11eleventyone!
There goes Ami's reputation of being a peaceful, nice person.
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  • 3 weeks later...

I should like to appologize profusely for not updating. Though I have another few chapters written yet, and have since October... ahem. That said: dear readers, I appologize profusely for not updating since November. I also appologize for the bad prose I've been putting you through.

 

Because in my month of Nanowrimo torment, I realized what's missing from this story. In trying to amend my... weaknesses in my writing (at least, what I believed to be weaknesses) I removed what were really my strong points. Sure, I fixed my overuse of passive voice in exchange for a dull narrative without the old spice I used to have. I'm not going to go back. Chapters 6-8 are still old chapters. As well as the beginning of chapter nine. These will be given to you as-is because they're not bad, they're just not as good. But further writing will hopefully contain better writing as I'm realizing what I'm messing up.

 

That said.

 

Zero, thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it, I think... ah... when was the last time you sent me an update?

 

Ami: It was a better chapter than this one, but this one starts making things make sense. Slowly. Autumn's Game, Doorway, and NSO, you say? I can't rewrite them all and I can't finish them all, but we'll see... I keep forgetting about the projects I've started on here, I should finish them even if I'll only have one person reading them. Heh.

 

That said. The above chapter quotes start getting longer/more interesting now... but all of them are relevant. I dare you guys to start figuring out what they refer to.

 

 

 

A/N: BBY refers to ”˜before battle of Yavin' in Star Wars chronology. As this seems to be widely accepted, I'm using it instead of BCT (before current time), even though the Yavin battle does not apply to this AU””it is a set measure of time. Of course, this AU takes place, on both sides, sometime between AotC and RotS””we'll say 25 BBY. When it comes to AU dates, one thousand years ago, the Jedi and Sith fought””and the Sith won. So around 1025 BBY.

 

 

chapter-6.jpg

-Chapter Six-

”œHssss”¦ don't know why they””hsss””cold night, hey? Hsssssssssss”¦ (static) Wait! Hey! Jerethain, don't let him get away! ”¦Hsssss”¦ Sith! Sound the alarm! Jere! JERE! (static) ”¦Hssss”¦ you'll pay! (footsteps) (snap-hiss) Don't think we're going to let you live, Sith! No one breaks into the”¦ hsss”¦””temple”¦ and lives to remember it!”

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Just when I thought it was over, I watched Tiana kick Almira in the head, effectively putting her out of her misery. I did not expect that.
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