The Emotional Battle (SW) completed

[NavyGal]

This is getting more and more interesting.

 

So why did Mirmo skip the meal?

[JediKaren]

I was called to my master's room a few days later. I found him sitting in front of his computer, playing another cursing game of pazaak. I laughed out loud and asked him if he was ever going to learn.

 

”œAfter I win the next game”

[Skye Organa]

Nice updates there. Again watch the typos

 

Interesting twists there. You had me curious to a few things there, though I guess that it'll be answered if I'm just patient

 

Your going into her past so he could see what sort of childhood she had was an interesting idea.

 

Remember when you use an OOC comment to IC comments, break them off with either lines or some sort of break so we know what is in the story and what isn't.

 

I look forward to seeing more.

[JediKaren]

sorry about that.

 

************************************************************

I stared at the door, too tired, too numb to find the energy to say anything. I wasn't sure if I wanted company or not. I wasn't sure how I felt. My mind felt blank, empty, unable to form thoughts or feelings. I wasn't sure of anything.

 

”œKaren, it's me, Lyn. Can I come in?”

[NavyGal]

Mmm nice postie.

 

So we get to see more of what she is so troubled about in her past. Her father sounds nasty!

[JediKaren]

Vague dreams of swirling, misty, confusing feelings that were hazily fearful filled my mind that night after Mirmo had entered my mind. The dream content was nothing distinct and when I woke up, I could not remember what had caused me to break out into a sweat. I knew my sleep had been fitful and I had not gotten a good night's of rest. My body ached and slow moving. I felt as if I was starting a cold, but when I sent the Force through my body, I sensed nothing that would confirm this. I got dressed and sat sleepily at the computer, waiting for Master Mirmo to come for the morning meal.

 

”œKaren, are you ok? You look pale”

[Tiana Calthye]

Hmmm. Caught up again. Yeah, tis how I read. I'm not going to bother pointing out mistakes, though if you do another long story, I recommand a beta reader for grammar's sake alone--the story matter is good, just occasionally it tears us out of the story when you misplace a word or something.

 

It's good. I think I like your drama better. Her dad's NASTY. Sounds dark side to me. I like the angst.

[Skye Organa]

Nice updates, Now that you're sending me the updates to proof, I'll see if I can't catch the typo's before they get posted.

 

The dark angst of the father really shows through.

[JediKaren]

”œHello Master healer, how are you?”

Edited August 19, 2007 by Guest

[NavyGal]

Hmm nice postie. You have to fix some bits though where you have the where you want to put something in italics and also want to decide which way to word a line.

[JediKaren]

lol sorry about that. I knew there was some correction I had missed. I got it now. Thanks. Also sorry for making you all wait for so long. It won't happen again.

[Skye Organa]

I see you missed a few of the corrections I'd pointed out. Take your time next time you post it up and preview it before you submit the post. That way you can see if you need to do anything more before you post it up.

 

Other than that, nice update.

[JediKaren]

Using every skill, empathy, telepathy, scanning, linking, and what ever else the Force would provide, I came to the conclusion that my master was embarrassed. He seemed to feel a bit guilty for letting me stressing out until the stress affected my health. He hid his embarrassment, by replacing it with a stubbornness I had never observed before. Every night he made me clear my mind out before going to bed. He refused to let me get too worried about anything and demanded several times a day to know how I felt. This new regime did not go over well with me. I understood and even privately thanked him for wanting to look after me, but he was pushing the limit of what I would tolerate. When he announced a week after the new intense meditations that he wanted me to take down all shields, I stood my ground and refuse to obey.

 

”œKaren, this is no an option. I want all shields removed.”

[NavyGal]

Hahahaha!

 

I love the Master Yoda thing at the end. That's really gotta be confusing him with her age and all

 

A few grammatical areas but all around nice work!

[JediKaren]

I tried to swallow, but with a dry mouth there was nothing to swallow. My eyes darted around the room, to the floor, to Luke's face, back down to the floor, over the walls, and finally to the bookcase, where the cane laid. Curious, I asked Luke if that cane really once belonged to Master Yoda.

 

”œYes”¦but that will not get you out of answering my question. How did you know him? He died before you were born.”

Edited December 3, 2007 by Guest

[NavyGal]

Hmmm. I wonder how she will deal with this?

 

Nice postie.

[JediKaren]

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But its home to me and I walk alone

 

I walk this empty street

On the boulevard of broken dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk alone

 

I walk alone,

I walk alone,

I walk alone,

I walk a....

 

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,

'Til then I walk alone

 

I'm walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the border line of the edge

And where I walk alone

 

One, two, three, four, pivot. One, two, three, four, pivot. Back step, followed with a forward step, stop, one, two, one two three, turn right, stop. Back cross with left, stop, balance, spin and one, two, three, four.

 

”œAn interesting song with interesting moves.”

[NavyGal]

Hmm interesting...

 

How did his test go?

[JediKaren]

”œWell, you should pass, if you do that during the test. Now, I think we can improve those moves. First, you need to think about what you are doing.”

[JediKaren]

Sometimes my dreams did weird things. At times, I could redream of a dream, or be aware that I was dreaming, change a dream that was going in the wrong direction, or even continue a dream. My dream that night was a continuation of the last nightmare.

 

Mirmo says nothing, making me feel worse. I hate my father. Even here, so far away, he has hunted me down, criticizing all that I love, all that makes me happy. I can not be him and can never satisfy him.

 

My father grows angry at his silence. My father continues to spit out words of loathing disgust towards my master, aimed at him and at the Jedi. My father takes a menacing step forwards to Mirmo. I feel my father's anger like a boiling rage, threatening to overspill into violence. I cowered in the dark corners of the room, as I silently beg my master to do something. Mirmo keeps his tranquil, polite glaze steady on the insane man before him. Out of loyalty and desperate dread, I step out of my fearful hunch, to give a warning to my master. My father, filled with madness, turns around and swings a powerful slap across my face. I am forced to the ground by the impact of the hit. My face stings with humiliation and shock. Mirmo finally takes a step forward. My father whips out a gun, not a blaster, and shoots my master in the chest. My master stares blankly at the hole, now dribbling deep red blood. I scream in angst and denial my master's name.

 

I sat up, my blankets have been kicked half across the room and the pillows were scattered around in my bed. My throat was sore from the scream I gave that woke up me. Sweat dripped down on my face, stinging my eyes. I could feel the hair on my neck stand straight up as I became aware of my shaking hands.

 

It was just a dream. That couldn't happen. My father wouldn't kill anyone. Or would he? He had been in the army. He had killed in the army. He had threatened to kill me before. I forced a racing heart to slow down and regulated my breathing enough that I could feel the Force. I extended my mind, picturing my peaceful dreaming master, to him, feeling the soft reinsuring presence. It was just a nightmare.

 

I looked at the time to find I might as well get up. I headed for the shower to clean up after that sweat bath and to wash away the vivid visions full of strong emotion out of my head. I focus on the spray and the welcoming heat to clear my mind out. This was not the day for nightmares or stress. Today was all about getting to pass this lightsaber practical exam. Today was the worst day to lose my nerves. I needed all the focus I could get. My thoughts wandered back to Mirmo, trying to understand how he could fail to stop the bullet that was a sure death. Did he not believe me? He did underestimate the wrath and angry power of my father? Did he so honestly believe that peaceful meditation wins all? I shook my head to shake the doubts out of my head. Again, I reminded myself today was not the day for such thoughts.

 

Stepping out of the shower, drying my long, brown hair, I wondered what I should do in my time before classes started. I could go talk to Mirmo, but perhaps it was best not to talk about this and not start up calmed down fears. I could go find Lyn and hang around her, but our relationship had grown enough that she would pick up my mood and ask questions I didn't want her asking. It was best that she was in the dark about my reoccurring nightmares. As far was I was concerned, she didn't need to trouble herself with my pitiful past. The burden was mine to bare, though my master stubbornly protested against this.

 

Then I thought of what to do. Go outside. Go where there is natural peace. Go where no one can bother you or would look for you. Go outside and heal.

 

I took a deep breath, as much as my lungs could take, of the morning dew, of crunching grass and leaves under my feet, of the smells of millions of animals, and of the perfume of wild exotic flowers. It was the smell of the living Force, a smell I could keep smelling for eternity. I opened myself up to the full span of the Force, losing my identity, mind, and personality to the consciousness of the Force. For a moment, I forgot about I was standing, slightly sweating in the heat of the rising tropical sun, and was only aware of the universal at large. But, this was only for a few seconds and my attention dropped back to the ants that had decided to climb up my legs and onto my hands. I shook them off and began walking.

 

I did not go far because I did not want to lose sight of the temple, not knowing how to get back if I did. There was no need to go far anyhow. The various plants were of so many colors and different shades, I was sure I could find a new color no artist had ever used. There were glimpses of wild life, mostly small, darting birds and rodents, to catch the swish of a tail or heard the rustle of leaves when the birds took off. The jungle was alive with the sound of music coming from the birds whistling, creaking, and barking out their song of mating or demanding food. One could hear the distant howls and answering cries of packs hunting breakfast. I looked up to see darkening grey cloud pre-tell the promise of a rainy day. The clouds where low, covering a great amount of land and slow, like an evil presence slinking sneakily to sieze control and ruin all hope of light. I shivered, being reminded of my dream.

 

I headed back to the temple, not so much for the rain, but because my stomach demanded with rude growls that I feed it. I found my master waiting outside of the dining hall. His questioning face told me he knew of my little stroll and knew there was a reason why I could take it so early in the morning. I was not about to retell my disturbing dream, so instead I smiled, brightening up my presence, and cheerfully greeted him, asking how he was. His eyes narrowed as he greeted me back and said he was well. He followed me into the room, starting to fill with hungry Jedi. I knew I had only briefly avoided being questioned, knowing I could not escape him the whole day, but glad he decided not to drill me now. As I ate, I begin to prepare myself for the up coming test, one I would glad just to get over.

[NavyGal]

Ohhh build up to the test. Good writing... a few grammatical errors here and there but otherwise excellent.

[JediKaren]

Master Mirmo was the first of the knights and masters to take an apprentice from my class of students. He took me much earlier than anyone else, and as I hear some say behind my back, too early. There was a huge mountain of mystery about us. Students wondered why he took me. I constantly caught students, and even staff at times, studying and analyzing me, as if they were trying to understand the clouded history of me. The buzz of talk concerning Mirmo was clear that even knights and masters that had been part of Mirmo's class, could not understand why he choose me, especially after refusing to take an apprentice for so many years. There seemed to be equal amount of mystery in the subject of me. No one knew me, for I didn't talk very much and turned stone cold silent when I sensed a prier. Even Lyn didn't know too much about me. She knew of my personally, my unpredictable hyperness, my ever so fast changing moods, and of my talents, but she was excluded in my history. She was the only person that didn't mind not knowing me fully. To be fair, I didn't know much about her and it was understood that I didn't need to know. Our friendship was strong and steady enough to respect each other's need for privacy.

 

It was other training that I received on Earth that had taught me, though it was not meant to, to ignore being looked at or knowing people were trying to look at me without being noticed. I had learned enough self control not too blush, not to let my heart race, and fumble around, but to act as though I was blind to their stares of wonder and continue my every day life. Privately, I found the looks annoying. There was nothing special about me. I was a no one. Back at my home planet, I was one in billions, just a number with no name, no money, no power or fame, and no reason for anyone to give a care about me. This unasked for attention brought confusing messages of who I was and what I should think and do.

 

No one knew, with the exception of my master, the only Jedi I confided in my troubles of new given interest among people I didn't know, how much of relief it was for the attention to turn on the new chosen apprentice. I was sick of awkwardly avoiding people's same questions on a weekly basis and hiding in strange places to escape wondering eyes. It was now my turn to do the staring on the new girl, a tall, skinny female with bright flaming red hair, and try to understand why she got picked. She seemed a bit pushy for my tastes, a bit more on the bossy side that I was, with less consideration that almost extended on to the side of rude, when she was around people. Unlike me, she was surrounded by a group of adoring or pitifully jealous girls. She had a loud voice that carried her commanding presence. She was picked, well, I guessed, for her skills in the Force and leadership. Her master was not quite so pompous, but the master gave me a new appreciation for Mirmo.

 

We were all standing in the matted floor with gleaming white walls of the lightsaber training room, nervously chatting to each other, with a few who were going over moves minutes before the test. As usual, I stood a pace away from the group, radiating my normal ”œleave me alone”

[Galadriel Kenobi]

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this story!

 

I really enjoy your descriptions of her internal struggles, as well as being curious about this new padawan.

 

In this last post, when you were describing her using the wooden lightsaber, there were a couple times when I had difficulty envisioning what moves you were trying to depict, but overall, you did a great job.

[NavyGal]

New padawan? Red hair? I'm curious.

 

Nice postie overall.

[JediKaren]

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this story!

 

I really enjoy your descriptions of her internal struggles, as well as being curious about this new padawan.

 

In this last post, when you were describing her using the wooden lightsaber, there were a couple times when I had difficulty envisioning what moves you were trying to depict, but overall, you did a great job.

 

I don't really know anything about sword fighting except what I have seen in the movies and what role playing online has taught me. Thank you for reading, that goes to everyone!

[JediKaren]

There was one advantage of going first and that was you didn't have to wait, wrecking all nerves, for your name to be called. The worst part was you got to see everyone not make the mistakes you made and groan because someone performed better than you and there was nothing you could do about it.

 

There were three people that stood out in my mind as I watched them go through the moves. The first person was the new apprentice, named Irini. She stuck her head up, refusing to show any nervousness, though she could not hide it from my Force sense. She bowed shortly and quickly to the teacher, us, and her new master, Deila Cobral. I silently cursed at myself for not thinking to bow to my master. Perhaps, because Irini was only a week new with her master, she was still trying to gain the respect from Master Cobral. I carefully watched her moves. She went through them ok. She had clearly practiced them, but she had no grace or anything to write home about. She ended the show with a quick bow and promptly sat down. I turned my head around to observe her master nodding in approval to her. There was a sharp nudge in the Force as Mirmo grabbed my attention. His glare and unhappy features said all. He clearly did not approve of me spying on the new master and apprentice team and titled his head to indict I was to turn my attention back to the class.

 

After a few students went, one young man, about the age of nineteen stood up. His posture was of assurance. His walk was slow with a natural grace. The highlights in his hair caught to dappling sunlight, turning his brandy brown hair into a deep red. His blue eyes were deep, sensitive, with maturity and conscious for himself and others. The students politely parted for him, the comments died down. He looked around as he walked, making eye contact, communicating so powerfully and yet without the Force. Bright hopes and whispers of good luck sprang up around him. He inspired goodness in people and he was a natural leader. Here was my dream, my crush, my day dream ideal date taking his place for the test. His name was Roan and I thought it was the most day dream name of all.

 

There was just one thing wrong with my perfect man. Roan was horrible at lightsaber skills. His hand slightly shook. He didn't bend his knees when he was suppose to and then stood straight as unbending stick during the times he was suppose to lower his center of gravity. Roan could barely remember to bow and even that simple movement was almost too much for him. The cool, self assured person I laid eyes on a minute before had been replaced with a seemingly young boy, sweating nervously, hands shaking, eyes darting, showing he was struggling to remember what came next.

 

”œYou may begin Roan.”

[NavyGal]

Ohhh nice. A bit hard to understand sometimes on the description of the movements of the apprentices but still good.

 

She has a crush... aww such a teenage thing

 

Nice work.

[JediKaren]

A few days later, in the late evening when the whole temple had quieted down for sleep, I was still up, on the computer.

 

”œShould not you be in bed?”

[JediKaren]

”œWhat would you like to know about me?”

Edited October 23, 2007 by Guest

[JediKaren]

”œI was shocked, with my thoughts racing to see an old Jedi standing, holding my arm in the middle of the town square. I was dying to know who she was, how long she had lived here, who had trained her, and how she managed to avoid the Empire and its thorough searches to root out all the Jedi that still remained.

 

She smiled and slipped an arm underneath mine, if to pretend she was an old, helpless lady, relying on her strong, grown up grandson to walk her down the streets to her little apartment. The apartment appeared to be a shabby, falling apart with the thin white wash peeling off, a nearly abandoned shack, suggesting the idea she was broke and hardly worth the trouble to give her a second look, unless you were a desperate thief. I was wrong in unconsciously accepting this idea. Inside, the building was much larger then the look from the front and much richer. The walls were painted a deep, rich green, the carpet was thick and expensive, and the tables were hand carved, decorated with objects, obvious transported from other, far off planets.

 

The strange, small, seemingly fragile lady took me into the elaborate kitchen, and sat me down with a plate of food. She began her tale as I ate. Her master had been knighted during the Clone Wars, shortly before order 66 had been given, destroying everything she knew. It was by the will of the Force did she manage, during a mission, to escape from the injustice mass killing of the Jedi. For several years she laid low, running from one planet to the next, as the Empire invaded the galaxy, taking control of all local governments. She found herself amongst the lowest of beings, learning the trick of living from seedy criminals, and trading heavily on the black market. Her Jedi training had little use in a universe that had no time or care for the Jedi and their powers. She found herself one day, many years into the dark rule of the Sith, stealing from some old lady, to gain a handful of credits. She was staring greedily at the credits in her hand, when she heard the distance, but distinct voice of her former master, scolding her for descending to a level that the Jedi were suppose to fight against. In that moment she realized she had forsaken all her training and the meaning of the Jedi and swore to turn herself around and bring back some good into her life and the life of others. Using the network of lowlife, she found a pocket of resisters and underground, undercover police. She slowly joined their numbers, showing she was above the life of crime, and used the Force in subtle ways that helped the group. Being a Jedi meant being a leader, and this was true with her. She did not only do her job, but also united and strengthened the group, earning her trust and dedication. She revealed her true identity, bringing a mixture of emotions from the rebels, but when they had time to think, they realized having a Jedi was a good thing.

 

She was the leader of the group for years and years, until she could no longer physically be part of them. She grew tired of her life and her body was aging far too fast for her life style. The group came to notice this and arranged for her to live comfortably, but anonymous on my home planet. She gratefully accepted the offer and lived for a few years on my planet before she spotted me. She instantly recognized me to be Force sensitive, but on this hostile planet and my strained family, it was better to leave me alone and not attract attention to either one of us. It was painful for her to watch me be bullied and picked on a regular basis, but still there was nothing she could do. It was proud day when she saw Luke Skywalker so boldly appear with a lightsaber at his belt, saving me. She knew nothing of him, but the fact the Jedi could once again walk freely and without fear, made her complete and at peace for the first time in over thirty years.

 

I had finished my meal and she had finished her tale of her past, answering my many questions. Her name it turned out was Liviani and she would not give out any last name for me to research. She knew of my mission and even of Luke's academy on Yavin 4. She saw me struggle to awkwardly try to gain support for the new Jedi order and knew there was no future in my direct path. Liviani offered to show me how to raise an underground group and how that would lead to helping out the planet. I was astounded by her generosity and humble accepted her offer.

 

Her plan took time and much tiring work, but within six months I had the stable beginning of a group dedicated at fighting crime, promoting peace, and changing the way the official law enforcers viewed their job. During this time I was learning a lot about the old Jedi order and what I was raising. In exchange of her stories, I supplied her with the history of Luke Skywalker and what few Jedi he had found. She was somewhat happy to learn a few of the Jedi had managed to live and she was even more pleased to find out many of the Force sensitive families had not been wiped out.

 

The town within a few years began to change as the children were being taught by example of the newly formed group I had started. The crime rate had dropped an evident amount. The attitude of the people was less hostile and people were more willing to help each other rather than spread harmful rumors. It was when these changes were obvious to the common towns person, did I let the group work out in the open for all to see. At first everyone was nervous about the situation, but the town saw the benefits and the group learned to listen to the town's requests. Talk spread and soon we were asked by the planet's government to from a world wide network of our small group and to spread the idea of peace. I was honored and Liviani was proud as could be. I worked with the government for another two years. The group did quite well and is still around today. The reason why I left was due to the death of Liviani. She died of old age, being the few of her generation of Jedi to do so. Her death touched me deeply enough that I could no longer live on the planet and returned back to Luke's academy for another direction to take”