When He Awoke--Challenge response (complete)

[Amidala Skywalker]

Okay, so this probably isn't my best work, but this is my challenge response for the one that said to begin with the phrase "When he awoke, he knew something was terribly wrong."

 

It's really short, but this was my original inspiration for that challenge anyway, so here it is...

 

Hope you enjoy it!

 

***

 

When he awoke, he knew something was terribly wrong.

 

The first clue he had was that it was freezing cold. He felt it in his bones. That in itself was both a bad sign and a good sign. It was bad because it meant he wasn’t back at the Echo base. It was good because the fact that he could feel anything at all meant he hadn’t frozen to death.

 

The second clue he had was that the world seemed oddly inverted, and his feet cemented to the floor. He glanced down at them. They were frozen over with ice. He looked up. The ceiling was only a foot or so above him, but there were giant marks in it that looked suspiciously like the tracks of some giant, furry creature. Wait a second… he thought. Footprints on the ceiling? Then it hit him—he was hanging upside down.

 

He swallowed. Yes, something was terribly wrong. He glanced around, trying to twist his body to see where he was. The last thing he remembered, he was checking out a meteorite, then his tauntaun started bawling, and then…

 

A muffled roar echoed through the cave, and Luke suddenly remembered the giant, white furred creature that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and attacked him. His tauntaun had probably become lunch, and from the way he was hanging, Luke had a bad feeling that he was to become dinner.

 

Glancing down, he saw his blaster on the snow beneath him. Well, it wouldn’t have helped to blast his toes off trying to get down anyway. No, the only thing he could use to get out of this mess would be his father’s lightsaber. He twisted around, trying to see the tell-tale flash of metal in the white snow. Then, he saw it out of the corner of his eye.

 

The roars were getting louder now. Starting to panic slightly, Luke reached out for the hilt. Sithspit…it was just out of reach. He stretched again, coming closer this time, but still just missing it.

 

Heavy footsteps were approaching now, shaking the cave and causing clumps of snow and ice to fall from the ceiling. He knew this was not going to end well. As fear threatened to take hold of him, he remembered suddenly the drills that Ben had taught him to work on. Perhaps he could use the Force to draw the lightsaber to his hand…if he just focused enough.

 

He closed his eyes, calming himself, pushing away the fear and panic as much as he could. He reached out…vaguely, he could sense the ice creature closing in, but pushed the feeling away. He searched for the signature his hands had left on the lightsaber, locked on to it, and focused. Clearing his mind, he reached with the Force.

 

The lightsaber twitched, but it was stuck in the snow. He pulled harder, still feeling the ice monster lumbering up to see what all the commotion was about. Just a bit harder…

 

And with a I am an idiot, the lightsaber leapt into his hand. He quickly hit the switch and swung it at the ice imprisoning his feet. He tumbled to the ground, and quickly righted himself to face the now-infuriated creature. One quick slash, and a white clawed arm fell to the ground. The creature roared in pain, and Luke could hear his roar echoed by others throughout the cave.

 

Seizing the monster’s moment of distraction, he stumbled out of the cave, trying to get feeling and blood rushing back into his numb legs. The wind hit him full on, and he fumbled to turn off his lightsaber.

 

He knew he didn’t have much of a chance out here, but it was better than facing more snow monsters. He set off as quick as he could, determined to get as much distance between him and the cave as possible.

 

Within minutes, he felt colder than he had felt in his entire life. Growing up on a warm planet, he had had no idea humans could even survive in this kind of cold…and began to think they couldn’t, as slowly his ears, face, toes, and fingers went from numb, to an agonizing burning sensation, and then to having no feeling whatsoever.

 

He had a bad feeling about this…

 

He wondered, briefly, if he could find his way back to Echo Base. He was sure they would have noticed his absence by now, but in this weather, he knew they wouldn’t risk sending out tauntauns. His only chance was to make it back, or hope that the speeders had been completely adapted to the cold by now.

 

He focused his entire being on getting back. Stumbling through the knee-deep snow and blustering wind, though, he felt his hope beginning to fade. He couldn’t go on any longer…

 

As his body collapsed into the snow, his last thought was that it seemed strange that his life should end this way after all he had been through…after all he had fought and suffered for…after all Ben had sacrificed…

 

But then the world came crashing down around him, and blackness descended over the white snow…

 

***

 

“Luke.”

 

He stirred…that voice…calling him from the blackness…

 

“Luke!”

 

Blinking, he looked up. At first, he didn’t see anything. Then, slowly, he saw the glimmering outline of…

 

“Ben?!?” he choked out.

 

“You will go to the Dagobah system,” Ben told him.

 

His mind was reeling with a thousand questions. Ben was dead! He had seen the old man get cut down by Darth Vader on the Death Star. True, he had heard his mentor’s voice in his head, but never had he dreamed that he would see an actual manifestation of him…Briefly, he wondered if he was dead. Otherwise, how would he be seeing ghosts? But the look in Ben’s eyes commanded him to focus.

 

“Dagobah system?” he repeated weakly. He had never heard of it.

 

Ben gave him a knowing smile. “There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me.”

 

Luke felt the blackness tugging at him again, and the vision of the Jedi began to fade. “Ben!” he croaked.

 

But the Jedi was gone, and Luke collapsed once again into blackness…but before it claimed him completely, he though he saw another figure approach. Vaguely, he almost hoped it was the ice creature, for even death by being eaten would have to be better than this agonizing, freezing, slowing feeling…

 

***

 

When he awoke, he knew everything was absolutely right.

 

***

Edited January 21, 2018 by Guest

[Tiana Calthye]

Good, good. Luke was one of the characters I considered for this challenge (I am working on a response, yup), and you portrayed this well. But my final character choice was NOT Luke, so don't worry. We'll have different fics.

 

I enjoyed it. I wouldn't have done the multiple ?!?! thing, as it seemed a bit childish, but, eh, all in all your characterization and writing is very interesting. XD Not your best work, I agree, but it was still very enjoyable. The character felt right, anyway... and it fit nicely into the movie segment.

 

Don't worry. Mine will be darker.

[Galadriel Kenobi]

That was good. I think I'm starting to like fics that take a scene from a movie and tell them from a character's point of view. You did a really good job!

 

I'm also working on this challenge. Actually, I'm working on two different responses to the challenge. One is SW, the other isn't. I'll post them eventually (if I ever get them done ).

[jedi_master_gimpy]

It's absolutely super to see you put something up, Ami! As soon as I saw that second paragraph I started chortling in general amusement at what was to come, having placed it (although at first I'll admit to thinking you were having him wake up while in the tauntaun guts, perhaps that's why the laughter came... )

 

It was bad because it meant he wasn't back at the Echo base. It was good because the fact that he could feel anything at all meant he hadn't frozen to death.

 

Excellent way to open it up and clue us in as to what's going on.

 

Within minutes, he felt colder than he had felt in his entire life. Growing up on a warm planet, he had had no idea humans could even survive in this kind of cold”¦and began to think they couldn't, as slowly his ears, face, toes, and fingers went from numb, to an agonizing burning sensation, and then to having no feeling whatsoever.

 

Snicker, snicker. Wonderful tie in between the cold and his childhood on Tatooine, it's a detail I don't think I would have thought to put in and it's wonderfully in-character and specific to Luke.

 

Like Tiana, I'm not sure if I like the multiple section repeats. I think I do, particularly how you tied in the third one (short and sweet) to wrap it all up. I think I would have like it better if you had followed the "When he awoke..." pattern at the start of the second section so that the fact you designed it that way was highlighted a little more - show off the style you show, ya'know?

 

I'd agree that you've done a little better, but it was in no way bad - and it's always hard when you're jumping back in after not writing for a while! I was super excited to see that you had a challenge response up, and hope to see many more of them!

[Anakin T Skywalker]

That was cool! Yeah, if I had to pick a moment to be in Luke's shoes, that's probably not the one I'd want! But you made it funny and engaging, even though I already knew what was happening.