The Dejarik Board

[Aidan Darkfire]

Lies and deception banish away the truth. Tiny lies we tell ourselves slowly erode our truth.

 

Lies...we tell ourselves? Aidan was dumbfounded by how to approach this one. A storm began to boil in the distance, barely noticeable to the Knight. If he told himself a lie, he would know it. If someone else told him a lie, he might not. How was this a problem? He had no disillusions over who or what he was, he was an Imperial Knight, sworn into Queen Raven's service and bound to keep the darkness at bay. These were choices he'd made. He was ready to move on.

But there was no reply from Sandy, there was no calm reassurance. The storm clouds grew darker, taller, moving in.

After a few moments, he was confused, and mildly frustrated. His grip on the Force loosened, and he began to fall lower into the ocean. Frustration gave way to a low panic when still he heard nothing from Sandy, his head began slipping beneath the waves that rolled in from the storm front approaching him. What is it? My father? Is that the lynchpin?

 

He began searching inside of himself, digging through memories as the storm approached, when he remembered why he had joined the Knights in the first place: to do what his father couldn't. He hadn't made the choice because it was what he wanted to do, he'd done it out of some misguided sense to avoid what he was told was his destiny. He hated the idea of fate, that someone or something else dictated where he went and how he acted, and in lying to himself by deliberately avoiding fate he was denying himself freedom from it. Fate was just an idea, a concept, and while the Force granted visions of the future, the future was also always in motion until it became the present, and then the past.

He slowly began to find traction in the waters, his legs treading him upwards more easily, and the waves stopped washing over his face as dramatically. But still, the storm came. The waves grew, and once more Aidan began to panic. It was impossibly difficult to see through a lie one told to one's self unless confronted with it directly, and he began to worry that this would have drastic consequences if he were unable to continue. Peals of thunder and flashes of lightning cracked through the air, and Aidan was once more swept beneath the waves. In a last ditch effort he reached out, attempting to pierce the veil, attempting to find solace in the one person who could help him right now. Sandy. Sandy! SANDY!
 

Sandy.

 

Lightning struck him, but it did not hurt. It was the harsh realization of what he'd known to be true, but buried because of dogma and ceremony. It was forbidden, many among the order had said before, and yet it was also not. The Jedi had long treated romantic attachment between people as something to be shunned or prevented, but the reality was many prominent masters had lovers, his own parents being a prime example. It wasn't that the relationship itself was forbidden, rather that it was a gateway to strong emotions that could easily lead to darkness.

He cared for her. Deeply. More deeply than anyone else he'd ever cared about. When he was down, she was there for him, when he fell she helped to pick him back up. The seas began to calm, the weather softly clearing as thunder echoed in the distance, moving away. Perhaps it was time he embraced that he had these feelings for her, and discuss them at a later point. Weakly, timidly, he reached out, fearful that she was still no longer there, that by some trick of the Force they had been cut off from each other.

Instead, he felt her presence once more, and knew she bore witness to his ordeal. They would discuss things in due time, but...each now knew. It was a beginning. After a moment's pause, he signalled her to continue.

Edited July 23, 2020 by Ary the Grey

[Sandy Sarna]

Sandy could not deny that she was shaken by the sudden surge of feelings that she had felt well up inside Aidan. She at first tried to ignore it, not to shun it but let the feelings roll off her unaffected. But they still caused her to take a deep, steadying breath, before she could continue. She needed to be the calm in the storm, no doubt they would have to discuss the fact that they had shared feelings, but that would have to be later. Why? But she pushed that selfish desire away, she wasn’t some gawking teenage girl on a Kashyyyk beach anymore. Such feelings had their time and place, they would bring much joy if left in fertile ground, and so she would let them lie. She took another breath and put forth her gentle reassurance to Aidan. 

 

Illusion prevents us from true insight. 

 

Another breath and her mind was free from the distraction of the revelation from Aidan. 

 

Search within you to find the illusions that you have long kept close to your chest. Constant self reflection will keep you from building up these deceitful illusions. 

 

Much like any other spectre, when left unexamined, any part of the force, or personality, or thought, could keep the Jedi, or imperial knight from finding their own weaknesses. The meditation for insight was in itself a fight against pride. The silent killer of Jedi, the thought that you were good enough already and had nowhere to improve. 

 

 A humble reflection will always find the illusion. 

 

They were nearly at the end of the session, and the exhaustion was beginning to fade at the edges of her mind. 

[Aidan Darkfire]

Illusion prevents us from true insight. A humble reflection will always find the illusion. 

 

Humility and Illusion. Aidan was certainly not the most humble of people, but how could it illusion him to the truth? He spent several moments examining, reflecting, bringing peace to the image he had of himself. Eventually, the Force began to coalesce in front of him, showing him two reflections of himself. The first was the Aidan he sought to become, a decorated master of the Imperial Knights, armor shining white for all to see. But this Aidan burned with a dark fire from within, and eventually was consumed by it. The second Aidan was clad in the robes of a Jedi Master, though he got the distinct feeling that this version of himself would never see the leadership within the Jedi Council. This version of himself was more at peace, but had long ago given up his lofty aspirations.

And then, the two images floated together, combining, along with many others that manifested and merged within the blink of an eye, some versions where he was a Sith, others where he took a naturalistic path, all potentialities and walks. What resulted was something he didn't recognize, despite it looking exactly like he was now. The image shifted one final time into a haze of smoky blackness and misty light, taking the form of two koi that swam slow circles around him. The first was a white koi with black markings, the second a black koi with white, mirror images of each other.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. There were no sides to the Force. Those who could sense it and interact with it and make use of its gifts chose their own destinies, their own fates. They made manifest the darkness and the light, not the other way around. While there was always hope for redemption for even the blackest of souls, the purest were likewise not without their sin. There was still peace to be found in both, as a darksider did not necessarily have to choose to harm others to attain their selfish goals, just like a lightsider could potentially justify collateral damage in times of war for the supposed greater good. True peace came from within, but it did not preclude the connection the Force granted between all things, living and nonliving. The universe lived and breathed, and they were all just a small part of it.

 

As the illusion faded from what he thought he knew, he was bolstered, reinforced by the Force itself, lifted by the currents. In this moment, his calm came from the fact that it was the only sane way to feel, anything else was merely self-inflicted pain. He was ready for the final step.

Or so he thought.

[Sandy Sarna]

There were no sides to the Force.

 

Sandy watched with what could only be described as horror as her friend took a divergent hook from the path laid out for him and dove headfirst into what she firmly believed was a dangerous heresy. Heresy was a phrase seldom used among the Jedi Knights, and while she could not stand behind all the expressions and judgements a call of heresy brought with it, the revelations of Darkfire resembled it. How could he so easily abandon a solid foundation of right and wrong and dive into this? Did not the force tempt a man with its immense power? Or was it a man's own fallible will? She opened her mouth to urge him to reconsider when she heard a small, calm voice in the back of her head. 

 

Wait

 

With the softest of touches on her mind, the holocron’s master bid her to pause. 

 

But does not the darkside always bring with it death and suffering? 

 

So does the good

 

How can you say that? How can you believe that? The lightside does not harm it-

 

Wisdom

 

But I ca-

 

This is his journey young Jedi, not yours, no matter how much you may desire it to be. Do not consume yourself with the pride of self righteousness. 

 

She felt her eyes narrow in frustration, as involuntary as it was, and her breathing became a ragged mess as she fought to regain her calm. There was a wisdom to what both Darkfire and the Holocron’s master showed her. She had to accept the wisdom though she might disagree with it. It was not her place to correct Aidan’s journey. And to do so would to act distinctly out of pride. It took her a moment before she had regained her composure enough to respond. And when she did her voice was calm. And it begged forgiveness. 

 

I see

 

The voice of the master carried with it a laugh that was only mirth. 

 

This journey is a lifetime, not a single meditation. One cannot achieve wisdom, only strive for it. 

 

She nodded and let the force open her mind for the next teaching. And when she felt it, she spoke it out to Aidan, her voice strained. 

 

Now you must let go of your attachments to embrace the force

 

She nearly choked on the words. For the attachments she held close were all before her. Mirdala Ad’Goran, her adopted mother of iron. Adenna, her master and grandmaster. And Aidan Darkfire, whom she loved. The love had developed from the awkward crush, to an unrequited love, to a deep friendship, and finally to an actual meaningful love.  One forged from shared trauma, shared experience, battle, and blood. How could she give up these attachments when they defined her? She had long ago given up on stupid childish dreams of a romance that swept her off her feet, but could she give up the only thing she had ever really wanted? Could she give up on the very thing that had kept her alive? 

 

Wisdom 

 

But attachment was not the same as love. She needed to surrender the entirety of it to the will of the force, and that did not mean to give up love. The love had come into her life and would someday go out, and if she built her entire foundation on it, then she would be truly broken when it departed. So she must let go. To embrace Wisdom.

 

[Aidan Darkfire]

But does not the darkside always bring with it death and suffering?

 

It was a thought that made Aidan question what he saw, but all he got back in return from the Force was a confusing sequence of imagery that he couldn't make heads or tails of. The end result didn't change his preconceptions of things, instead came another small realization that he didn't know how the Force worked concretely; perhaps nobody could truly know the full depths of the Force. It comforted him, but at the same time saddened him, as while perfection could never be achieved, neither did he need to stress over ascertaining knowledge that wasn't meant for him to comprehend.

Now you must let go of your attachments to embrace the force

 

He was anchored in his attachments, though. They helped to keep him stable, to correct him when he strayed too far from his path. He'd just had a grand realization that he was seriously attached to Sandy, and now he was expected to give that up? It was a harsh truth for him, one that for a while he was uncomfortable facing. Sandy seemed to grasp the concept behind this final step far easier than he was willing to, and he took from her understanding the seeds to grow his own. Attachments were not good or bad, but without the willingness to accept their loss if or when it came the loss itself could become devastating. While a pliable reed bends in the current, a brittle reed breaks and dies. 

He didn't want to accept this, despite being confronted by the truth of it. It felt like throwing away something valuable he'd just gained, but in the same breath rejecting it. He only hoped that Sandy could understand as well, and wouldn't hold it against him. Perhaps this was why his father was so seemingly aloof all the time, he understood that worldly attachment to even family wasn't always healthy. But Aidan also knew that Aryian had missed the mark too far in the other direction, not allowing himself time to cherish and comfort his family when they'd needed him most.

 

It was not a mistake Aidan intended to repeat.

 

Slowly, he conjured up images of Sandy, some of divine beauty, others images of her lying dead on some forgotten battlefield. His emotions swelled one final time before he let them sink beneath the waves. The waters calmed as he did so, turning into a mirror-slick that stretched to eternity. This was the truth the Force offered: not any universal answer that made sense, but a truth found within one's self. A greater sense of one's place in the galaxy, and a better understanding of those who lived in it.

 

This was not the end, it was merely another step in his journey that would last his entire life. The destination was never the point, it was the journey itself that meaning was found in.

 

He reached out, brushing Sandy's thoughts, thanking her. This was something he'd needed for a long time. For what felt like hours, he stayed, wanting to be near her, but time was something nobody could escape. Eventually, much more calmly, he relaxed his hold on the Force, ending the meditation.

[Chaotic Tranquility]

The truth of the Dejarik Board was as forgotten as it was ancient, it's purpose known only by those who could remember or those who could see through its deceit. For most, it was an illusion of reality, a hell based upon their past lives. For others, it was a place to transition and see all variable outcomes. And for the rest, it was a construct, meant to be whatever someone wished it to be; an eternal mind game of conflict and pleasure. For Sirena, it was what it was, darkness.

 

She opened her eyes and found herself floating in its space, swirling vortexes surrounding her as sorrowfilled souls were sucked within each, damned to their own madness for all eternity. And at it's center, where she stepped down upon a central platform gracefully, was it's mindframe, a mimicry of digital illusion based upon Gods overlooking their pillages. It was a simple construct standing center amongst the multiverse it showed, flora covering it's edges with furniture placed upon it's marble form, and pillars standing in its corners. She frowned in displeasure.

 

Opening her mind, she called to her students, beaconing their appearance before her. It was time to reveal the truth to Aliss and Roshan, the latter of which may know of this place's true purpose. Either way, she didn't mind. It was time.

[Durose Roshan]

Even as he floated in the bacta tank, Roshan could hear her call. The voice was undeniable, piercing the serene silence of unconscious musings.

"Roshan...."

The Cathar answered her call, only to be hurled into a deep and unnatural darkness. He felt an almost supernatural chill, as air rushed by him and the darkness fled away, revealing an alternating pattern of black and white spaces. The ground seemed to be of some sort of solid marble-esque composition but the entire environment felt neither completely like a dream nor firmly based in reality. This wasn't quite death or at least he hoped it was not, but the sight of Lady Sirena coming into view did not fill him with confidence about their current state.

 

Almost as if she fell from the sky itself, Aliss joined the group, landing and roll across the marble floor. When she came to a stop, the girl looked around frantically like a cornered wild animal. Lord Roshan motioned for the girl to hold her position as he address the figure of the woman up ahead of them.

"As if trying to kill yourself wasn't enough, why have you summoned us here, Lady Sirena? Are we dead? Or do you yet live? If it is any consolation, I tried my best to call for help after the stunt you pulled. But whether I had any success... well..."

 

___
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Edited November 30, 2020 by Durose Roshan

[Chaotic Tranquility]

"No. We're all still alive." She spoke with a chuckle, it's cackle echoing eerily across the darkened void. "And I see you still haven't grasp the concept of my last lesson, that hording power is self destructive."

 

Sirena smirked.

 

"Look around you both. See the truth with your own eyes from the seats of the Old Gods. Do you see them here?" Sirena spoke, having her hands across the multiverse and pointing out the swirling vortexes of souls. "Each of these hellish vortexes represent the Primordial Sins. Pride, Envy, Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, and Sloth. These are the hells that await your demise. There is no escape, no matter which path you follow or who you worship. Such is the Darkness."

 

Sirena's smirk disappeared as she waved her hands once again, her grasp shifting the construct beneath their feet and around them, scrolling across billions of memories, each different than the last in a little more than a subtle blink of the eye before it settled back upon the vortex scene, a noticable appearance of some Roshan may have known as well as the original shape the construct originally was intended for: a simple Dejarik Board. Once it has settled, Sirena glared at her two students before her.

 

"The afterlife you see is of little matter or consequence as we are all damned to it's hellish fate, bound to it's transgression for all eternity." Sirena's tone was cold and bitter, nothing like the coyful teacher she had mascaraed for most of the portion they have known her. "What IS important is the Legacy, the mark you leave imprinted upon the Galaxy, once you're gone."

 

Her gaze shifted from Roshan to Aliss before befalling upon them both. 

 

"Do you see the truth?" Her smirk returned, her voice coy. "Do you understand the dark reality of those you call the Blessed?"

[Durose Roshan]

"...What IS important is the Legacy, the mark you leave imprinted upon the Galaxy, once you're gone."

Roshan perked up at her words. Perhaps her stunt had finally knocked some sense into the woman.

"Tu umero zeuo lizxi ro ue'l inex m'a zeiqixunou, tkuroke. Luquxou'k m'a juo," He whispered to Aliss.

"Do you see the truth? Do you understand the dark reality of those you call the Blessed?"

With a smile, Roshan nodded and motioned for Aliss to stand, "For once, we are in complete agreement. She speaks the truth, little one. Even if she despises him, she is her master's legacy. The giant and those who followed them are the legacy of the Chaos gods. And so the cycle continues. But to accept this blessing comes with a curse..." Roshan paused. "A curse that I have tried to shelter you from for quite some time. But I can hide you from it no longer. If you are to accept your gifts and ascend under the tutelage of Lady Sirena, then you must accept that this is the ultimate price you must pay to live as a demigod among men. This is the price you must accept to save your mother and aid me in my quest. The price we, the Blessed, must pay to play on this side of the demesne of the Force."

Aliss looked to Roshan and then to Lady Sirena as she stood. She was still disorientated from all that she saw, unsure if this was another vision or something to be taken at face value. But the words of those two sent shivers down her spine all the same. Turning away from Roshan, Aliss stepped towards Lady Sirena.

"I am not scared! I meant what I said! I am willing to pay your price in exchange for your powers. Tell me what to do and how to do it and I will do it, Lady Sirena. I felt it... for a moment..., " Aliss replied with a momentary second or two of hesitation before returning to her confident, almost defiant manner. "I will not fail you again."

From behind her, Roshan's hand pressed against the top of her shoulder, signaling the girl to kneel. Aliss complied without hesitation and dipped her head ever so slightly. Roshan smirked widely as he slowly kneeled behind the girl and whispered into her ear, "Toe unu'k poqu lauiko'q, mipquku'k ouku'k. Toe unu'k poqu lauiko'q."
 

"We are at your service, Lady Sirena."

___
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Edited December 1, 2020 by Durose Roshan

[Chaotic Tranquility]

"Then accept humility with grace, for we are the Condemned, the Cursed." Sirena spoke as her gaze remained upon the two, the Hapian Princess' blue eyes alit with flame of the beyond. She had long saw the truth in the darkness, hidden psalms behind the false philosophy of the self proclaimed illuminating light. "We must carry the burden of truth with us until the next generation are ready to carry it."

 

"For generations, our Forefathers have lost themselves to the madness of Falsehood, claiming Blessings illuminated by the light of the Jedi, hording power and status as if it meant something." Tears began to stream from Sirena's eyes, stinging beneath it's folds as she spoke. "But in the darkness is where the truth resides, only seen for what it is when all light is cast aside. Progression, Evolution, Advancement... These are born of unbridled Darkness where light cannot pierce. Light is stagnation."

 

Sirena wipes her eyes, a trail of blood smearing her face.

 

"You claim to be of the Blessed, followers of Chaos and it's false idols. But you only blind yourselves behind the light of false illumination and what you see with your eyes." As Sirena's eyes close, the void becomes pitch black, with only their forms seen before each other. "These are but glimpses of the Revelation. Just as the Progress and Evolution witnessed in the reigns of our Forefathers. But to truly see into the Darkness, to know it's depth and understand it's purpose, you have to forfeit such idealogy and bear witness to it's truth."

 

Sirena's eyes open, a bloody glaze covering them. "Your Legacy is Life."

 

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