Vaderman

I think most great artsits are wholly "unlearned" in their art. I always chuckled at the art majors at my college, because they spent so much time focusing on drawing trees and the such. It's one of those things that you're either good at...or you aren't. Sure, schooling can help aide in perfection, but really, art is a talent, not something learned. And you sir, you have talent! This is great stuff! I generally don't read poetry, but this stuff is gold! Keep it up!

So glad you guys liked it! After nearly three years anyways. So here's the thing: I have a "Stanley Part II" written. Is it customary to post sequels in the same thread or a different one?

Thanks guys! I wrote this back in February but kept forgetting to post! You're a favorite returning character!

PART THREE Hostile Takeover It was a cold, mid January afternoon. For a week, the three administrators of JNet had been meeting in secrecy outside of their building. They frequented bars, pubs, taverns and the occasional cave to discuss and plot their next move. “If word of what we’re planning gets out,” Vaderman had stated, “we’ll be thwarted. We simply cannot allow word of our plans to leak.” A week later, Vaderman had sent out an emergency message to Brendo and Mael. The three were to meet in the Boardroom, immediately. Mael and Brendo met Vaderman at the top of the helipad. The three entered the elevator in silence as they began their descent. As the various floors of their building passed them by, Mael began furiously stroking his beard. “Are the rumors true, V?” Mael asked cautiously. “Has he really—“ Vaderman lifted his hand in silence. The three entered the Boardroom. The door sealed behind them. Mael and Brendo took their usual plushy seats and began drinking their preferred beverages. Vaderman paced at the front of the room. “We must ensure absolute secrecy in this,” Vaderman said. “If the members of JNet discover that we’ve killed kyoo, there will be angry mobs at our doors.” “Crikey,” Brendo gasped. “Then it’s true. He’s as dead as a dingo’s donger.” Vaderman nodded. Mael dropped his drink and scratched beard with both hands. “We always suspected he was vulnerable,” Mael mused, “but I didn’t think it’d happen so quickly. Was it an easy victory?” Vaderman pursed his lips. “He put up a fight,” Vaderman said. “I asked him to step aside, as we’d agreed. He claimed he wasn’t simply going to “project manage” our takeover.” “Who led the battle against him?” Mael asked. “General Wakie. It seemed as though we were facing defeat, but Wakie prevailed.” “Crikey, mate,” Brendo said, pouring down his bourbon. “I told you he was top notch.” Vaderman nodded. “The question now,” Mael said slowly, “is how do we sell this to the public? How do they buy it?” “We’ll have to do it delicately, mate” Brendo said, sipping more bourbon. “We’ve all had a lot of respect for kyoo, but I don’t think most people realized he was so narky.” Vaderman sat down in his own chair with the others. He lit a pipe. “We’re all agreed we can’t tell them the truth?” he asked. Mael nodded. “It’s like how we say back at home,” Brendo said, drinking more bourbon. “’How much can a koala bear?’ See, in this case, the users are the koala bear. How much can they bear? (After the situation with Stephen, Archer, and Erin, we’re aware of how much they can bare). This group of muppets at JNet don’t like change. We have to ensure they’ve got the best transition story to make sure they don’t panic.” “We’ll tell them that it was pleasant takeover,” Mael said cautiously. “We’ll thank kyoo for the service he’s given us.” “Yes,” Vaderman sighed. “We’ll phrase it in an honorable manor, that will soothe over everybody’s conce—“ BEEP The admins glared at the intercom. “Yes?” Vaderman hissed. “Uh, hey guys. This is Travis. I saw the visitor logs said all three of you guys were in the building at the same time, but I can’t tell which floor you guys are on. Why not?” “Travis, we’re in a really important meeting mate,” Brendo said. “Can I offer you any tidbits?” “Travis,” Vaderman said, reclining in his chair, “We’ll open up a full meeting for everyone in the building to offer up suggestions for the future of JNet. But we haven’t made an official announce—“ “But I’ll get to be the first one to know, right?” Travis asked, excitedly. “You guys will tell me first?” Mael muted the intercom. “Are we all in agreement that when we’ve officially taken the reigns, we’re going to “accidentally” block his access to the building for a few weeks and pretend we don’t know why he can’t get in?” Brendo and Vaderman nodded their heads. TO BE CONTINUED

Thanks! I've got a few more ideas I think I'll give them a shot!

CHAPTER NINE GUESS THINGS HAPPEN THAT WAY As Stanley and Luigi finished their victory lap, Kamek swirled his wand and the track disappeared. They returned to where they had first arrived. Encircling them, the other characters applauded the winning team. “That-a was excellent!” Luigi cried. “We did it Stanley! We’re free!” XR zipped up to greet them. “You guys were amazing!” he exclaimed. “I watched the whole thing! I didn’t think you were going to pull it off in the last lap, though!” Patty Cakes, scowling, kicked the ground. “I can’t believe I lost!” he whined. Princess Peach [expletive] slapped him across the face. “Hey!” she scolded. “That’s my line!” Stanley laughed. “Hey Patty Cakes!” he yelled. “Looks like you just have a bad attitude!” Stanley was drained. His body ached from the multiple attacks during the races, and the adrenaline from the final seconds of the last race had completely drained him. Kamek appeared on his broom. “Well, we have it,” he said. “The winners are STANLEY AND LUIGI!” The Nintendo characters all burst into cheers. “Patty Cakes,” Kamek shouted. “You have lost. You will now become engrained into the Mario Kart community. You will never be allowed to leave. Day in and day out, you will be forced to race.” He raised his wand and pointed it towards the scientist. “Consider yourself…SAVED TO MEMORY CARD SLOT A!” With a whoosh, Patty Cakes was hit by the wand’s substance and screamed in again. For a split second, what appeared to be a carbon copy of Patty Cakes materialized and then dissolved into the background. “You are now a part of our community,” Kamek shouted. “Congratulations. Now, as for the plant, robot, and Luigi,” he said, waving his wand once again and checking his watch, “I will give you five minutes to say your goodbyes. After that, you will be released from this place and into your own world. He left. Luigi carried Stanley with him over to his brother, Mario. “Luigi!” Mario yelled. “That was-a fantastic! I’m-a so proud of you brother!” Luigi’s eyes began watering. “Luigi,” Mario consoled, “don’t-a worry about-a me. We knew this day would-a come soon enough. You know what-a to do!” Luigi nodded. The two hugged and Stanley hopped down onto the ground, only to be scooped up by XR. “Take me to Petey,” Stanley asked. Petey, standing alone, nodded towards them as he was approached. “Why did you do it?” Stanley asked. “You let us win. But…why?” Petey stared for a second. “We’ve been watching Patty Cakes,” Petey replied in a surprisingly deep voice. “Kamek, however heartless he may be, filled us in on your guys’ arrival. Didn’t you notice? All the characters were helping you along the way. I never was going to let him win. But I had to make the race competitive or I knew Patty Cakes would take the wheel from me.” Stanley reached out and grabbed Petey’s leaf. “Thank you,” he said. “You’ve been such a help.” Petey nodded, moving out of the way. Behind him, Patty Cakes arrived, glaring at Stanley. “This isn’t fair,” he whined. “I should have won! And…I should have succeeded in Project X! I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for—“ “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” XR interrupted. “You would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for ‘you meddlesome robot, plant, and deceased musician’. We get it, dude.” “You still don’t get it,” Stanley asked, “do you, Patty Cakes? Don’t you realize this? This all should have been a lesson for you? These characters…they sacrificed their own freedom to spare the world and help us. It’s one thing you’ve never been able to learn, Patty Cakes. Your whole life, you’ve always abused friendships and relationships with others. Sure, it was under the guise of having work to do, or just having a seriously warped view of other people, but you have never allowed yourself a true friend. Where has that gotten you? You’re alone. You’re cold. You always use that excuse that you have work to do…but where has it gotten you? What does scraping by with a “C” on a calculus test get you? Nowhere! In the end, you’re always going to be alone, cold, and miserable! You tried destroying the world because of a nosebleed for crying out loud! You’re overzealous, and it’s finally caught up with you!” Patty Cakes just growled at this. “This has nothing to do with me!” he denied. “It was the Prophecy! You were the ‘Chosen One’! I was doomed to fail because of it!” Stanley just shook his head in disbelief. “You still don’t get it. Goodbye Patty Cakes.” Time was up. *** Spinning uncontrollably, Stanley, XR, and Luigi were all swirling about. They finally landed back in the real world. “Where will you go?” Stanley asked Luigi. “Mario and-a I have-a plan,” he explained. “I cannot-a go into details, but-a I will be working on freeing my friends soon.” “That’s great,” Stanley said. “But what about Patty Cakes…if you free them, won’t he escape?” Luigi shook his head. “Patty Cakes is-a now saved to the Memory Card. He is-a trapped forever.” XR, unplugging the GameCube from his chest, discharged the Memory Card. “I think we’ll be holding on to this for safe keeping!” he said, keeping the Card in his chest cavity. “Thank-a you guys-a so much!” Luigi said. “I am-a forever gracious for-a the help!” As he left, Stanley and XR waved goodbye. XR deactivated Patty Cakes’ computers. There would be no mass extinction of plant life. Finally, the Baker’s Man had been thwarted. Once the robot finished, he looked at Stanley. “So…if you’d like…I can take care of you, Stanley,” XR said. “I can water you, trim your leaves, and that good stuff! I mean,” he said, looking nervously around, “I don’t have anywhere else to go.” “XR,” Stanley laughed. “I would love to have you stick around. Heck, I need help moving anyways!” The two laughed. It had been a long few days, but Stanley was ready to relax and enjoy life. With Patty Cakes defeated and the Prophecy fulfilled, there was little for him to worry about. On the occasion, while listening to a Johnny Cash song, he swore he caught a glimpse of the Man in Black flashing a thumbs up sign. Whenever Stanley saw this, he just chuckled to himself, “it’s Johnny [expletive] Cash”. THE END

Thank you so much, gimpy! And thanks for taking the time to read through my story! I wasn't sure when I first started posting the story if other people would find the "inside joke" styled humor between me and my college roommate amusing, but I'm glad to see you guys do!

Thanks guys! Interesting you think it improved, Ami. My friend and I both agreed the Mario Kart portion was the more...tedious part of my story and a little bit of a lull in reading. Glad to hear otherwise!

CHAPTER EIGHT BORN TO LOSE Stanley and Luigi were anxiously waiting for the green light. The first match, as with all Mario Kart matches, was Luigi’s Circuit: a short, but fast paced adrenaline racing track. Stanley, who was riding in the back of the kart, called towards his driver. “Luigi!” he shouted over the revving of the karts. “I’ve never played this game before! What do I need to do?” Luigi turned around, looking apologetically at the plant. “My skills are-a not very good,” the plumber said. “But to give-a you a quick description, you’re-a gonna wanna watch to grab-a the item boxes when you’re in the back. The rider in-a the back is the “gunner”, so to-a speak. Do you-a know about-a the different items?” “Yes, of course,” Stanley said. “Red shells gun for the person ahead of you. Green shells are just normal shots. Stars make you invincible; mushrooms give you a boost, and the winged blue shells—“ “Blue shells of doom,” Luigi corrected solemnly. “Yes, the blue shells of doom destroy the person in first place. Am I forgetting anything?” “There is-a also a false-a item box that-a you will have-a to look out-a for. And,” Luigi smiled, “we have-a my special: the Green Flame.” “And…” Stanley gulped. “I may have to drive?” “It’s-a no big-a deal!” Luigi exclaimed. “It’s-a very simple. I wish-a that I could-a give you some kind of a strategy, because-a I no win-a very often.” Stanley was worried. “This-a Baker’s Man that-a come with you,” Luigi asked. “He-a bad man?” “Yes,” Stanley replied grimly. “A very bad man. If we don’t win, the world—my world—is doomed. It won’t matter if I’m trapped here. I just want to stop him.” “It’s-a gonna be-a very difficult,” Luigi said. “Especially because he’s-a with Petey. Petey the Piranha is-a very tough to beat. Outta the past-a twenty races, Petey has-a won eighteen. He-a doesn’t lose very—“ Kamek appeared before them, holding a traffic light by a fishing pole. The light flashed red. Luigi revved the engine. I’m not ready for this, Stanley thought to himself. Yellow. The fate of the world depends on this race. if we don’t somehow win… Green. The karts simultaneously revved and took off. Luigi’s kart backfired loudly as the other drivers flew past them, leaving the plant and plumber stuck at the start. Oh no! Stanley thought. What now? Unceremoniously, Luigi’s kart finally began slowly driving. Looking through the smoke, Luigi turned back and apologized, “Sorry! I always-a time that-a wrong!” Picking up speed as they hit a boost on the track and well behind the other racers, Luigi and Stanley drove to the first item box. In his clenched vine, the item box spun rapidly about showcasing multiple items. The Super Star, Stanley gazed, in awe. “Use it!” Luigi exclaimed. Stanley squeezed the star until it dissolved. The entire kart was encased in a sparkling glow. Stanley felt wonderful. Powerful. Stronger. The kart also picked up speed as the Super Star’s ability was fully charged. Trailing in from eighth place and all a-glow, Stanley and Luigi did a power-slide around a bend in the track and aimed towards the next item box. “Switch!” Luigi cried. Stanley and Luigi switched in midair and the plant grabbed the wheel as Luigi took the item box. Three mushroom boosts. Luigi powered the three of them, the Super Star’s use slowly waning. “Don’t think of them as friends,” Luigi warned. “This is life or death for us all!” Stanley drove straight into Princess Peach and her rider, knocking them off course. Stanley felt bad, but immediately took Luigi’s advice. It was no good to view them as friends. Faceless enemies were taken out one by one. They’d reached fifth place in a matter of seconds. Sparing the next racer, Luigi and Stanley switched once again as they hit the next item box. Another Super Star! Stanley laughed with glee as the pair rounded into third. No need to use the star yet. They passed on to the second lap. Another item box later, and they had a red shell. Patty Cakes and Petey were ahead of them. Launching the red shell, Luigi knocked the evil duo out of their way. “What’s that whirring sound?” Stanley shouted, alarmed. A low whooshing sound was rushing towards them. “Ahhh!” Luigi screamed. “It’s-a the blue-shell!” Sure enough, behind them the winged blue shell was gunning for them. Stanley tried to activate the star to protect them, but it was too late. Pain ripped through Stanley. It was unbearable. He wanted it to end then and there as he went soaring into the sky. “Fight through the pain!” Luigi yelled through clenched teeth. As they landed, they saw that Patty Cakes and Petey had also suffered the wrath of the blue shell. Regaining composure, Stanley and Luigi tried catching up to Patty Cakes and Petey. They got a red shell, but just as Patty Cakes could be heard shouting in pain, Stanley accidently crashed into a banana peel. “Hey Stanley!” Patty Cakes taunted. “There’s a banana there!” Third lap, and Patty Cakes and Stanley were neck and neck, both in the back of their drivers’ karts. Petey slammed his kart into theirs as Patty Cakes reached over and pimp slapped Stanley. “Why don’t you give it up now?” Patty Cakes asked as Petey laughed. “It’s over before it even began! You guys can’t win! You’re pathetic! No one’s as awesome as me…er…and Petey here! You’ll never beat us! Give it up alrea---AHHHH!” Patty Cakes and Petey spun out of control as they were nailed from behind by someone else’s green shell. Catching up unbelievably fast, the two were neck and neck once again, finish line in site. Petey, whose kart was much faster, began pulling ahead. Luigi did a fast power-slide and boosted across the finish line. Stanley laughed. “Luigi! That was great!” They stood around and watched as the scores were tallied. Stanley and Luigi gained ten points. The plant was feeling good, but the battle had just begun. Fifteen more tracks awaited them. *** The day was a back-and-forth between Luigi/Stanley and Petey/Patty Cakes. The two, from the first track’s finish, had emerged as the clear favorites and frontrunners. The following course ended with Petey and Patty Cakes’ victory, with Luigi and Stanley in a distant second. They had not performed as well, but made up for lost points the next match. Back and forth, they continued to go like this, through several races. The two frontrunners remained at a statistical tie throughout the day. With the exception of Mushroom City, a traffic jam-packed track in its own, (in which both Stanley/Luigi and Patty Cakes/Petey placed fourth and fifth, consecutively), the two teams placed in either first or second. As each race carried on, the other characters became increasingly irritated with Patty Cakes. While it was custom for the characters to taunt one another while they passed each other on the track, Patty Cakes embellished this habit and took it to a new level. Instead of taunting the other players with a quick punch, Patty Cakes screamed insults about the other drivers’ mothers and then proceeded to spank the passengers on their ass while squealing uncontrollably. Stanley, on the other hand, refused to taunt the players. If punched, Stanley would deflect, but in all, he wanted to keep the race civil. Everybody was fighting for their freedom. He was no different from any of them. And so the day carried on, each battle leaving them more and more bruised, angry and determined. As they gracefully completed Yoshi’s Island, they arrived at the final track. Rainbow Road. It was beautiful and serene, yet frightening and precarious. It was a track that was suspended in space, through the grace of Kamek’s magic. Very few guard rails were on the track, and Stanley was growing concerned. It was a tie. Stanley/Luigi and Patty Cakes/Petey were completely tied in points. Whoever crossed the finish line first would win. Whoever crossed first would get their freedom. As the final green light of the day flashed, the riders were off. Since their first race, Luigi and Stanley had perfected the take-off. They no longer sputtered out of control before the finish line. With grace and speed, the pair took off. The hit a ramp on the track and shot over a crevice. Grimacing, Stanley took the wheel. They maintained third place as they got their first item: a red shell. Waiting for the series of curves to end, Luigi fired the shell and took out Diddy Kong, who whimpered in unhappiness. Behind them, Patty Cakes was swearing. Ignoring the scientist, Stanley and Luigi hit another ramp and sped quickly over another crevice, landing safely onto the next section of track. “Now,” Luigi said, shakily, “this-a next part is gonna be tricky! Hit the small ramps, but keep-a in-a the center! We not able to-a risk falling off. Stanley gripped the wheel again and nervously hit the first boost. It shot them forward and he swerved about, trying to regain control of the vehicle. “Hey!” Stanley shouted, taking the next boost. “That wasn’t so bad!” Dodging a banana, the pair closed in on first place. Toad and Toadette were happily enjoying their moment in the spotlight. As they drew even with the Mushroom headed couple, Stanley looked over apologetically at Toad. “I’m so sorry!” he shouted as he rammed the side of the kart into theirs, knocking the two off the track and hearing their frightened screams. “You had-a to do that!” Luigi reminded Stanley. “We-a in this to win-a this—WATCH OUT!” Stanley skimmed off the side of the track. For a split second, the two were in midair with nothing beneath them. Then, as the track curved sharply, the two found themselves safely back on the course. Hitting another ramp, they were shot directly into a tube that propelled them upwards and spat them out on the higher portion of the track. Without incident, they cleared the finish line. “One lap down,” Stanley said, determined, “two more to go.” Out of nowhere, they heard the approaching sound of a shining Super Star and the muffled screams of Patty Cakes. “BA-BA-BAAAAAM!” Patty Cakes squealed as they slammed into Luigi and Stanley. Petey laughed. Regaining control once again, Luigi launched a green shell at Petey and spun the evil duo out of control. Abruptly, Bowser and Baby Bowser shot into second place, directly ahead of Stanley. Looking down at the mushroom he’d just received, he smiled. They boosted into the two horned turtles and stole the Bowser Shell. Ahead of them, Petey and Patty Cakes were enjoying the first place spot once again. “Go FASTER you IDIOT!” Patty Cakes screamed. “What do you do all day, huh? You’re a [expletive] plant! You race every day of your life! WIN THIS ONE FOR ME DAMNIT—AHHHH!” Stanley nailed them with the Bowser Shell and completely overtook them. Looking behind him, he saw them fall into fourth place. As they crossed the finish line once again, Kamek appeared, holding a sign that said “Final Lap”. “We’ve got this!” Stanley cried happily. They had nothing to worry about anymore. Patty Cakes wasn’t a threat any longer, he was too far behind. Luigi and Stanley didn’t even need to place in first—they just needed to place higher than Patty Cakes and Petey. Happily, Stanley took the first ramp when lightning tore through the entire track. “NOOOOOOOO!” Stanley and Luigi screamed in unison. It hurt, and though it did not inflict as much pain as the blue shell had, it had dealt them a devastating blow. They missed the jump. Screaming still, the two fell through the oblivion. Everything went black for a second when Kamek arrived, carrying his fishing pole once again, and placing the two safely back on the track. The race was surely over. In fourth place, it would be difficult to regain the lead. Even at the great distance, Stanley could hear Patty Cakes maniacally laughing and swearing at Petey. There was little they could do to catch up. Stanley thought back to two days earlier. Johnny Cash’s abrupt entrance into his life had only been two days ago, but it seemed like it had been exactly one month of time that had passed. Stanley was crushed. The Prophecy was wrong. Johnny Cash was wrong. How could that be? Stanley thought to himself. It’s Johnny [expletive] Cash. Nonetheless, Stanley was defeated. Hope drained from his entire form. Patty Cakes was going to be released back into the real world. It would be a matter of time before all life was extinguished. “Don’t-a give up just-a yet!” Luigi encouraged as they got a red shell. Knocking Wario and Waluigi out of their way, they gained third. Yoshi and Birdo, who were in second, noticed the pair riding quickly behind them. Yoshi made eye contact with Luigi and slowed down. They’re letting us pass, Stanley thought to himself. They want us to win. Up through the tube they went. Patty Cakes and Petey were already on the other side. Stanley’s small amount of hope was dashed. No more item boxes were there. They had one ramp to go over and it was the finish line at the end. They were close, but Petey’s car was just too fast for Luigi’s little kart. They neared the jump and Patty Cakes smiled. Abruptly, Petey’s kart spun wildly out of control. Jerking around in circles, the kart hit the ramp at a funny angle and shot forward directly into the guard rail. What on earth are they doing? Stanley thought. “WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!” Patty Cakes squealed. “You did that on purpose! You’re sabotaging us you son of a--!” It was too late. Stanley and Luigi passed them. They crossed the finish line jubilantly. They won the race.

I'm looking forward to start reading all of this as well as the next part

PART TWO STAFF DECISIONS The gleaming tower of JNet stood proudly amongst the other structures. Deep within the bowels of JNet, the three masters were settling in for a long night of administrative work for the building. The room was a haven for the three admins. Three deep leather chairs were placed around a warm, flickering fireplace. Bottles of various liquors lined the walls. The three were drunk. “Alright boys,” Vaderman said, grasping a glass of wine. “Let’s get down to business.” Brendo and Mael took their places in the chair. Brendo was nursing a strong bourbon. Mael slammed back several beers. “Well mate,” Brendo began, “I don’t know if you noticed it or not, but I thought it’d be a jolly good plan to re-arrange some of the floors just to see if people were paying attention. I moved customer service to the top of the building, for starters.” “I saw that,” Vaderman mused. “Did anyone notice?” “Leinemaster thought it was a stupid idea, but that’s why we’re in charge and he isn’t, isn’t it?” Brendo said proudly. Vaderman chuckled under the influence of the alcohol. “Mael, anything new in your neck of the woods?” Vaderman asked. “Well,” Mael began, scratching his beard. “I temporarily set Travis’s access code to “inactive”. I figured we could just tell him we weren’t sure why he couldn’t get in to the building for a couple of days.” Brendo and Vaderman roared with laughter. “Well that bloody well explains the recent spike in voice messages then!” Brendo chuckled. Mael continued scratching his beard. “As a joke, I changed the building’s Bar and Grill a bit and re-named it Wampatown” Vaderman and Brendo continued their laughter. “How did they take it?” Vaderman asked, fully aware of the general bad attitude of JNet’s visitors towards past pranks pulled by the three administrators. “They…loved it,” Mael said, slamming back another beer. “They’ve constructed a University for the town and are working on building defenses from outside forces.” “Crikey,” Brendo said. “We might as well keep it that, then, shouldn’t we? Any other business?” “I did have one idea,” Vaderman said, softly chuckling while pouring another glass of wine. “What if we put LAP in charge of the Community Center?” “LOL!” Brendo exclaimed. “That’ll cause chaos! Let’s do it! It’s like the old saying back home! “Maybe the dingo ate your baby”. See, the dingo, in this case, is LAP. And the baby is all of JNet. And he’s going to eat them.” “Too much o’ the brandy, eh, Brendo?” Mael asked in a fake Aussie accent. “I’m Australian, mate,” Brendo shrugged. “We drink this stuff in the cradle.” The three enjoyed a merry laugh and continued plotting drunken mischievous. And that is how the administrators of JNet make decisions concerning the site. Fin.

Welcome back! Thanks so much for udating/reposting your story. It's so you're doing this! How old is the story exactly? You were 13 when you first wrote it? I'm really enjoying this whole thing so far! Keep us posted

Haha As I said...two years ago, the story was entirely a satire of my friendship with my freshman year roommate...and Mario Kart was the only thing that we did

CHAPTER SEVEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M BOUND The trio floated as though weightless and without gravity. They’d entered unfamiliar surroundings, and each of them had a look of fear etched upon their features. As they floated, a large orange grid appeared before them. Humming softly, the grid was sending out electrical currents. One by one, Stanley, Patty Cakes, and XR all passed through the grid. Stanley felt an unpleasant jolt of energy shoot through his leaves as he passed through, and noticed the others had each expressed similar discomfort. To his surprise, the other two were now appearing two dimensional. As they floated along, a strong wind passed around them. It was pitch black, but images flashed around them. A two dimensional man in a red jumpsuit and hat was running away from a turtle. A mushroom-headed creature was sobbing uncontrollably. Patty Cakes seemed to be frightened more than XR. Though fear lined the scientist’s face, it seemed as though the man had known what to expect. Out of thin air, large green tubes suddenly appeared. Above each tube, there were a series of letters labeling the entances. S:H&R was the first tube the trio passed. LM and SW:RS were the second two that materialized and disappeared instantly. One tube in particular, labeled MK:DD, began sucking the air around them, like a Hoover vacuum. Patty Cakes tried swimming out of the tube’s suction, but it was worthless. The three were sucked into the tube. *** Immediately, the tube spat the three out. Located in the sky, Patty Cakes and XR plopped onto the ground. Extending an arm, the robot caught the plant safely. As they took in their surroundings, murmurs were heard hidden throughout the land. The place was strange. Stanley, Patty Cakes, and XR were no longer two dimensional, but the land and its surroundings were…cartoony. “It’s a video game,” Patty Cakes muttered. “Good going.” XR scanned the location internally on his computer system. “It’s…Mario Kart…Double Dash” As the words escaped the robot’s mouth, creatures began encircling the trio. “Holy crap…it’s…it’s Mario!” Patty Cakes exclaimed, motioning towards the red-costumed plumber. Other familiar Nintendo characters were seen amongst the crowd. In all, there were twenty different personas surrounding the group, looking curiously at them. “Welcome…to Mario Kart: Double Dash!” Mario said. “We are-a not usually a-used to visitors!” “Sweet! Mario Kart!” Patty Cakes said. “I love this game!” “Game?” Princess Peach asked, horrified. “You think this is a game? This is imprisonment! We’ve been forced to race every day! If we don’t, we’ll die! He’ll kill us.” “Who…who would do such a thing?” Stanley asked, shocked. Peach opened her mouth and then stared into the sky. “Him.” The clouds, which had originally been smiling at the group, grew black and angry. Lightning flashed across the sky as a loud whirring noise was heard in the distance. There was a loud CRACK of lightning and, through the cloud of smoke, a being materialized. Zipping around on a broom, a turtle-like creature, wearing a blue robe and a blue, pointed, hat, and brandishing a wand ,was glaring at the group. “Ahhh…why are you all not racing today,” he said, in a high pitched voice. “Are you willing to sacrifice your liv—“. He stopped midsentence. “Intruders,” he said. “That’s a magikoopa,” XR whispered to Stanley and Patty Cakes. “They’re like regular koopas, only magic—“ “SILENCE!” the magikoopa shouted. “I…am KAMEK! MAGIKOOPA OF THE LAND AND RULER OF ALL THAT YOU SEE!” Patty Cakes began quivering. Hopping off his broom, Kamek stood amongst the crowd. “So…we have intruders. No one, for seven years, has dared enter my world.” “We’re…we’re sorry, uh…sir…” Stanley stammered. “Silence,” Kamek said, waving his wand at Stanley. A painful amount of energy permeated his leaves. “Allow me to formally introduce myself,” the magekoopa began. “As I said, I am Kamek. I am of the evil koopa clan of King Bowser, but one of the few royal members with magical powers. Over the years, I grew weary of the same old battles in our world. Always it was the two brothers having to fight Bowser, who also just never seemed to learn. It was an endless battle! Capture the Princess Peach, save the Princess Peach! Always employed to do some evil bidding.” Bowser growled angrily at this. “I grew bored of it,” Kamek continued. “When the Mario brothers were on another mission to save the Princess, I devised an unstoppable plan. While distracted, I successfully overpowered the Mario brothers. Bringing them to King Bowser, I overpowered he and the Princess as well. These were the difficult ones. The other characters were a simple catch without the famed Mario brothers.” Luigi and Mario looked down at the ground in embarrassment. “So now, I created our own world inside this Nintendo GameCube. Race tracks, complete replicas of our own very world. Every day, my little characters must race. Otherwise, they’ll die.” Patty Cakes nodded his head. “Ingenious, if I don’t say so myself.” Kamek hopped on his broom and began zipping around again. “We have a problem now, however. I only have allowed enough space in this digital world for the 20 captured characters and myself. You guys, by entering so abruptly, have thrown this off balance. If the capacity level is not brought to 20 by nightfall, the entire world will implode.” “That…checks out,” XR said, his scanners plugging into the surroundings. “We’ll make a game of it,” Kamek said, chuckling. “Ahh, yes, how did I miss this before? We’ll have a race. The two who come in first shall leave this place. Everyone else must stay. Yes, yes, yes! I’ll even allow for one Nintendo character to leave! It will give false hope for the others as they await his return!” Kamek stuck his wand carelessly in his mouth and began chewing on the end, deep in thought. “The robot won’t count,” he said. “He has no life force. The scientist and the plant…you must compete against one another.” He raised his wand and flashed it over Stanley. “Ahh…yes, plant. You are timid, but with a purpose. Humble, but fighting a cause for the greater good. You and Luigi are a match. Each of you shall be teamed together.” Luigi high fived Stanley’s vine. Kamek flashed his wand over Patty Cakes. “Hmm…” Kamek pondered, “Arrogant. Determined. Cut throat. You’ll do whatever it takes to win. You and Petey Piranha shall be a team.” Patty Cakes groaned. “I hate Petey,” he whined. “Hey…wait a minute! This means I’ll probably win!” Kamek flashed his wand again, and the various karts materialized. “We’ll start momentarily. The winners shall be released back into the world along with the robot. Baby Mario and Baby Luigi will abstain from the race. We will do this on…Mirror Mode…”

Alrighty! I should give a warning, this was all completed before I posted the first chapters, so all the critiques haven't gone into effect...but they are still appreciated for future reference! Here we go! ______________________________________ CHAPTER SIX UNCHAINED The following morning, Stanley finally awoke to the sunlight shining on his leaves. He suddenly remembered what had happened the day before, and realized he needed a plan. I need to get out here, Stanley thought to himself, fast. “It’s too late for that,” Patty Cakes said. Standing over the plant, Patty Cakes held in his hand a vial of the blue liquid. “Last night was fun, Stanley. But it’s time we end the charades. According to the Prophecy, you’re all that stands in my way. Yesterday showed that I have succeeded. After I destroy you, I will annihilate every single plant on this world.” Patty Cakes raised the vial ceremoniously above his head. “Goodbye, Stanley.” Stanley braced for death. Suddenly, there was a loud BANG. XR was shooting lasers from his chest panel. One beam made contact with the vial and shards of glass flew in different directions. “At last,” Patty Cakes growled, “my mutiny has arrived. Not today.” Patty Cakes dodged the next series of beams and grabbed his stun gun. “I created you, XR. I gave you more life than any robot has ever been given. I gave you the morals that you have. And you try to use them against me?” XR screamed as the electric volts ran through his body. Patty Cakes snarled viciously. “You thought that you could thwart me, you little petty piece of metal? You’re nothing more than a trashcan! That’s all that you are! A floating head on a trashcan! You’re my slave! You aren’t a free man! You are a SLAVE! The Prophecy says that I will bring destruction to the world! WHO ARE YOU TO STAND IN MY WAY?!” XR’s circuits were fried. The robot stood motionless as bolts continued to run through his body. Regaining self composure, Patty Cakes turned his back and moved towards Stanley. “Now, Stanley. For that little stunt, you are going to have to pay. No robot slave of mine conspires against me.” Patty Cakes ripped a single leaf off of Stanley’s vines. The plant screamed in pain. “One by one,” Patty Cakes whispered. “One by one, I will rip you apart. And then I will destroy you.” “No.” Patty Cakes turned to see his creation moving once again. XR was moving rapidly. From within his chest cavity, a third arm extended out and grabbed a hold of a purple cube. “My GameCube?” Patty Cakes chuckled. With an electrical outlet extending from his chest panel, the Nintendo GameCube powered on brightly. The orange light shone unnaturally bright throughout the room. “Say goodbye, Patty Cakes,” XR said firmly. From the four controller portals, orange light shot straight out. Slowly, the light joined together and fanned out. A loud humming noise was heard from the GameCube. “What the hel—“ Patty Cakes was dumbfounded. His shirt was slowly tugging towards the GameCube as though he were being sucked in. “You need a little time out,” XR said. Patty Cakes snarled as he was pulled towards the cubes portal. As he inched closer towards XR, he yelled, “I’M NOT GOING WITHOUT A FIGHT.” The GameCube pulling at a high speed, Patty Cakes grabbed Stanley in his left hand and reached onto the top of XR’s glass dome with his other. The room swirled around them as the three were finally pulled into the GameCube’s portal.

The rest is sooo bad thought I did just complete the sequel for when my roommate visited last month I'll get more chapters posted after work!

I finally clicked the link now that I'm home and not at work...good job Mael. It may have been a dick thing to say, but it was probably true! And Brendo pulling out a rare rollie eye

Thanks for the positive comments, guys! I had a few ideas for some more, so I'll be sure to write some up when I get the chance!

(The following may or may not be accurate depictions of staff meetings at JNet) The skyscraper was massive. Made almost entirely out of glass, the only entrance was at the top. A helipad awaited all who visited. The three men arrived at once. Nodding at one another and stepping into an elevator, they began their descent. Each floor contained a different activity. They zoomed past Customer Service, and a movie cinema. They briefly watched duels take place on another floor. Water coolers, computer rooms, and rec centers filled their view. The three were the last to arrive. As everyone stood to greet them, they silenced their applause. Vaderman, cloaked all in a black robe, Brendo, in a brown robe, and Mael, cloaked in an awesome beard, exited the elevator. “G’day, mates,” Brendo greeted. The staff room was a tavern. Bottles of liquor lined the walls and a giant conference table stood in the center. “Is everybody ready to give their weekly reports?” Mael asked. “Darkfire is drunk again,” BLCKCLONE sighed. “He was last seen streaking in the Bar & Grill. We heard some screams from the ladies in the rec center, we think he’ll be there.” “I’ll deal with him myself,” Vaderman growled. “Next?” “We had some people asking questions about the Star Wars films,” handofthrawn said merrily. “They were trying to speculate on some things—but don’t worry, I sat them down and explained everything that’s cleared up in the books.” “Is EU canon?” Amidala Skywalker asked her brother. “I think it is.” “Good point. What’s next?” Brendo asked. “I don’t want to take too much of our time, but—“ *three hours later* “--and he says that if he doesn’t get his way and have our ruling overturned, he’s leaving the RP forever. And he’s going to send Spam to all the other floors until he gets his way. Now, his nemesis says the exact opposite…” Jidai Geki explained. Vaderman jumped onto the table and withdrew a lightsaber, waving it around angrily. “I’ll kill them!” he bellowed. “I’ll kill all the RPers! I’ll burn their whole floor down!” “Vaderman!” Lord Ar-Pharazon shouted. “Calm down! Just give them one more chance…they really mean well! They’re just very competitive, I swear, they’ll get it right this time.” “Vaderman,” Brendo said, pointing at his colleague, “dealing with the RPers is like…throwing a shrimp on the barbie. See,” Brendo leaned in close, “the ‘shrimp’ are like the RPers…and the ‘barbie’ is like the competitiveness that they feel. So we throw these RPers into something competitive, and they’re bound to get burned up! But all you need to do is calm them down with a little ‘butter’ and they’ll be just right!” “In news out of the Jedi Library—“ Tiana began, but was cut off by the ringing phone. A voicemail was placed. “You have one thousand, three hundred, and thirty-eight unheard messages,” the recording informed them. It played the messages. “Hey guys, it’s me, Travis. I just thought maybe the building could use fire proof doors in case there’s ever a fire” BEEP “Hey guys, Travis here, have you guys considered selling bottled water with a JNet logo?” BEEP “Travis again, did you get my first two messages?” BEEP “Guys, I was wondering. If someone ever forgets the keys to the building, maybe we should all build another building, that way we can go there, just in case we’re locked out?” *two hours later* “—and at my old job, I took down the staff. It was pretty cool. Not that I’m threatening you guys, or anything.” BEEP “This guy needs a hobby,” Mael mused. Vaderman was pinching the bridge of his nose exasperatedly. “Is there anything else?” “Archer wants to know if we’ll let him back into the building,” Brendo said. “No.” ~Fin~

Thank you for the kind words, Travis. I am also quite pleased with the mod team that Brendo, Mael, and I have all picked out and worked on, and it's a sign of the mods that we have that shows the strength and ability of this site.

Sorry guys! I do have the story finished, it's just a matter of getting it posted, I suppose!

Very lovely, Dartha. My girlfriend is fluent in Italian. It's amused me quite a bit, your tale. Good job.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER IN MY STORY IS RATED PG-13 BECAUSE OF REFERENCES TO ALCOHOL, SEX, AND ADULT THEMES. IT WAS WRITTEN WHEN I WAS DRUNK (THIS WAS A PLANNED CHAPTER ) IT INCLUDES SPELLING ERRORS AND RAMBLINGS. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER FIVE PAT NEEDS TO GET LAID (AKA THE DRUNK CHAPTER) Stanley felt wonderful. A warm tingling feeling was permeating throughout all of his vines and leaves. The alcohol was slowsly making its affect on the plant. Who cares about the world, Stanley thought to himself. Why the hell should I save thw orld when I can be drunk off my roots? Hell, if Patty Cakes succeeds, maybe I can just drink myself unto a stupor until I die? Throwing his empty glass onto the ground, Patty Cakes started laughing hysterically. ”œThis party is gonna be off. The. Hook.”

Thank ya, guys! The story's been finished since late November, I just keep forgetting to update the chapters for you guys!

Nicely done LAP. I enjoyed the messenger format as well.