Mathis

The interaction between the brothers and Winrey was amusing, and stays true to what I know of the brothers' characters. Willing to do whatever they have to, but trying to keep other people out of danger. The one thing that I've been picking up through each update that I like is how you have little, subtle lines that help to reinforce the characters. For example:

Tiana, are you still working on this story?

Have you actually been working at work lately? You started out updating every couple of days, now you're dropping down to around once a week. Any chance of getting some more story?

It's cool, it just threw me off a little at first. I'm thinking that it's due to the fact that the previous update was nearly two weeks ago, and that I had forgotten what all happened in that one.

Did we skip a section where the Elrics went back and reported to the General, or was that on purpose? I was confused at first with the whole desert thing, but I was able to figure it out when I went back and read through the last section. I really like the pace you're going on with storyline progression.

Sorry I didn't comment on the last couple sections, it just seemed like it needed some more content before I could say something actually worthwhile. I think you got Rykool at his best in this last section, along with his original thoughts when he was getting chased. He sees them as his enemies, but comes to realize he's been told lies by his Master. Although, there is one part where it sounds like he's a willing soldier for the Master, and another where it sounds like he was unwilling. The outburst still seems uncharacteristic, but it could have been for show with the soldiers. All the rest of the characters sound good, with some solid development.

It's ok, this time. Don't do it again! I've only watched it casually, so I kind of know the characters, but not really too much of the story lines. I'll do what I can, though. The fix is better, but that segment from the last post sounds a little awkward. I'll chalk it up to it being the end of your day and wait for the next installment.

Good character development for Ed, Al, and Mustang. The man's outburst seemed a little out of character based on what his thought process that we got to see in the first section. Also, that last sentence... I don't like it. The last two parts need joined together.

I've watched some FMA, but haven't seen the beginning. You've got the characters sounding like they do in the show, though. A couple small spelling mistakes, and the part where the guy saw Alfonse catching up to him was a little rough to read through. Overall, though, looking forward to seeing where you take this.

Good update, not too much to critique. This seemed a little early, as Sari wasn't freaking out too much yet. However, it does fit with Grace being prophetic/prescient. I'm thinking that this is just a phrase I don't know of, so I'm not quite sure the meaning of it. I like how you start to let on about how knowledgeable Grace is about the future, to the point where she can guarantee that the baby will be born. This does make me question, is she seeing bits and pieces of the future, or does she already know how everything is going to play out? Good to see the trees mentioned again. Shows that they're sentient to a point. As for the cliffhanger, the only two options that I can think of is that either one of them tells someone, or else the baby grows at an accelerated rate.

"I'll try my best to remember that." The words, spoken softly as the physical distance between them grew, were missed by Emily. As the rest of the group boarded Skye's ship, Mathis turned his attention to the comlink. Double Helix, hmm... I don't think I've ever been there before. Let's see if I can get the coordinates of off somebody. Mathis started to check with the various personnel in the hangar, and was eventually able to ascertain the location of Double Helix. He made a quick trip back to his room to gather up a few things, and then went to his ship to go to the briefing.

Mathis and Emily stepped off to the side. Hearing the defiance and a little bit of caution in her voice, he did his best to project his intentions of peace. "After talking to you last, I did some soul searching. I realized that I was still operating under the ways of the old days, when we were constantly at war. You, and your father, have reopened my eyes to the fact that not everything in this universe is black and white." He paused for a second to collect his thoughts. "I just wanted to apologize to you again about how I confronted you. It was a mistake on my part, and I'm sorry. I promise that I will never judge anybody like that again. I also wanted to make you an offer. If you ever need anything, anything at all, or if somebody acts like I did, I will do everything in my power to help you." Mathis had said what he could to try and make things right. It was now up to Emily to accept or reject it.

Mathis was about to reply to Skye, but he was cut off when two more people came to join their group. Talk about a small temple... While Emily was introducing herself to Skye, Mathis' commlink alerted him to the order to go to Double Helix. "Well, I was going to say that I have nothing to do, but it seems like that has just been changed. I'm sorry, Darex, but I haven't seen or heard from Ish in quite some time." As Mathis returned Skye's farewell, he felt the Force tugging at his mind. There was some business that needed to be finished before the opportunity disappeared. "Emily, could I possibly talk to you for a moment before you leave?"

Mathis gave a slight bow of the head to Darex and Darla as Skye introduced the pair. "I'm just relieved that you were around to pick up my slack. I'm sure Ish was glad to be able to work alongside you, Darex." The conversation was interrupted by the return of the two droids. Mathis watched them carry their package to the ship in a bemused silence, the corner of his mouth pricking up in a small smile. Once the package had been delivered, Skye and Mathis turned back towards the group. "And I'm sure it'll be an interesting enough story. Where in the universe are you heading off to next?"

As Mathis walked through the front doors of the Temple, he quickly realized that he didn't know where to go from there. Not so much as how to get around, but more so he didn't know what to do with himself. I said it myself, I have been out of the loop for a while. I don't even know who the current Head is! I wonder if there's anybody around that I even know who would catch me back up to speed? Stretching out his senses through the Force, he lightly touches on the different presences that populated the Temple. Most were strangers, but there were a few that he remembered from times past. Kirlocca, Kitt, and Skye were the ones that seemed most familiar to him. He locked on to the location of the one closest to him, and took off through the Temple. Mathis navigated through the hallways until he came out to the hangar. Spotting the small group of Jedi, he made his way over to Skye, Darla, and Darex. "Hello, Skye, it's been a while. I don't think that I've ever had a chance to thank you for looking after Ish for me." Not wanting to be rude, he turned to the Darla and Darex to introduce himself. "My name is Mathis. I don't mean to offend by not saying hello to the both of you, but I don't know what your names are. However, you both seem familiar to me. Have we met before?" ((Dagobah and Borleais, respectively. In case you guys forgot, cause I did. ))