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Aidan Darkfire

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Aidan Darkfire last won the day on March 26

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  1. Aidan appreciated Sandy's praise, but there were much larger things to worry about right now. He moved with the rest, speaking up as they entered the ancient spaceship. "Hey, by the way...I know you both probably feel the Dark Side's influence here, and I just want to say I'm not entirely sure it's just from the region. On approach...well, I thought I noticed another small ship docked on the far side of this thing. I could be imagining things, but...well, I think we all know I'm not. Keep on your toes." Aidan looked around the hallway they had docked to, lit by nothing more than low powered lighting. Much of the ship would have been in an energy-conserving mode, awaiting full reactivation. That was the logical explanation of course, but it didn't make seeing it any less spooky. After seeing literal zombies on Gala, Aidan wasn't sure what to expect from the Force anymore. "Well...I've never been on this thing. If I was, it was as an infant, but at the least I don't remember it. Do either one of you two have any idea which way we should head first?"
  2. The question jarred at Aidan's concentration, pulling his focus away briefly and causing a slight disruption to their connection. The ship slowly veered slightly off of its safe heading, but as he snapped his attention back to the task at hand he was able to help fix it. "I'm...not sure...valuable ship...probably shouldn't..." It was all he could manage to mutter as he rededicated himself to feeling out the strong gravimetric currents, finding a path of safety among the turbulent cosmic waves. Maybe Kel would have something to say on the matter, but Aidan couldn't afford more than that, lest he risk their entire mission again.
  3. Aidan admittedly didn't know an exceptional amount about space travel, but his gut told him the answer. "I don't think we have a choice." Slowly, he allowed himself to relax from the view he had transfixed on, going through some of the calming and meditative techniques he'd been taught. It was a little more difficult than at other times, but Aidan still managed through. He began to reach his senses out, feeling the eddies and pulls of the Force that mirrored the space in front of them. In the Force, the black holes themselves weren't voids or absences, but rather highly concentrated spots of energy representing enormous mass compressed past its Schwarzchild radius. Aidan opened his mind, allowing his companions to make use of what he could sense, letting them enhance themselves by using him as an extension of their limits. It was only something he'd done a handful of times before, but at the least he was familiar with what was required of him.
  4. This was something Aidan had never thought he'd ever see before. The view was terrifying in an existential sense, representing guaranteed death if something went wrong. But it also had an absolute sense of beauty to it, the accretion discs of the several black holes all twisting and tangled and feeding into each other. "How...how is something like this even stable?" Aidan's stomach dropped as he stared, not exactly answering Sandy's question, but answering enough for her to understand that no, he'd never seen the Maw before, and he was already lost in it. Absentmindedly, he fiddled with the hilt of his staff saber, both nervous and entranced. This was not something he had expected when they set out for their mission from Nar Shaddaa. Aidan had wanted to escape authority and see the galaxy for a long time, but he was completely unprepared for it.
  5. Aidan didn't have much to check over, just himself, his Imperial Knight's armor, and his blade. Physically, he was ready. Mentally...that was another story. "Didn't the Jedi hide the Eternal Vigliance specifically so the Sith wouldn't get their hands on it? Gala I understand, but the Vigilance shouldn't hold anything hostile to us." Aidan spoke, and the words schoed out of his mouth with doubt though his logic rang true. He was still uncertain of himself after what had happened on Ossus with Frond. Something in how Sandy had warned them left a bad feeling in the back of his mind. "...right?"
  6. ((Continued from Ossus)) Aidan sighed after a long pause following Sandy's question, slinking down in his seat a bit. He didn't want to answer, didn't really want to acknowledge what had happened beyond how he already had, but if he was going to, he might as well go first and get his answer out of the way. "Guilt, I guess. I feel like I tried to help and made things worse. I know full well that's always a possibility, but when it actually happens? It still feels horrible. As for what went on between you and Master Vos, well...seems more like Jedi politics and differing philosophies than anything that really concerns me. Frond is in good hands now, that's all that really matters." It was what it was. Aidan just wanted to complete his mission for the Empress and be done with it all.
  7. Aidan was glad to have stayed silent through all that. Maybe he shouldn't have been explicitly glad, but the fact that he didn't have to deal with a lot of the pressure Sandy and the others were put under was a weight off his mind. It didn't relieve him blaming himself in part over what had happened to Frond, but at the least it hadn't added to it, either. Aidan still followed Sandy, silent. They would have time to talk later, they would have words to say. But right now, it was simply convenient for Aidan to quietly shadow along. He felt the anxiety of continuing their mission, but that too would come to pass before long.
  8. It was overwhelming, the temptation laid at the feet of Aidan. Aidan thought he knew darkness, but nothing quite as powerful a focus as this had ever presented itself, the longing and hunger from the dropped lightsaber whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He wanted it so badly, or did it want him? Either way, he only realized that he had taken several steps closer to the saber only after a Pit droid scooped up the saber, scampering off with it. Momentarily rage flashed across his thoughts, everything he'd ever wanted was just at his fingertips and now it was lost. But were those his thoughts? It took a few seconds, but Aidan eventually managed to shake his head free from the influence the saber had tried to exert. So that was the power Frond had been fighting against...and he'd almost given it to Aidan. It seemed to have a will of its own, attempting to manipulate things to its benefit, and it nearly succeeded. Aidan shuddered at the thought of what would have happened had he actually taken the saber from Frond instead of reject it out of sheer chance and misunderstanding. As they walked back, Sandy remarked how defeated she felt over the ordeal, remarking how she failed Frond. Aidan remained silent, but reached out to her, reinforcing and bolstering her. Aidan wasn't sure if they had failed or narrowly succeeded or what had happened, but it was clear their trials and tribulations on this mission weren't going to be nearly as straightforward as he thought. As Frond spoke to Sandy, Aidan remained silent. He tried to help once, and stuck his foot squarely where it didn't belong. There were others present who could handle things far better than he could, and he was more than fine with letting them handle things. He still felt badly, but that would subside with time. Nothing could erase what had happened, they could only move forward and pick up the pieces. Sandy could use his help with that. She doubted herself, but she also knew far more than Aidan did. And he doubted himself, but he knew that mistakes happened, and what mattered was how he'd recover. All they had to do now was push forward. This was supposed to be a short stop on Ossus, but it had turned into so much more. While Aidan was concerned with finishing their task for the Empress, common sense said the Eternal Vigilance could wait, as if the Jedi hid it well then it would probably be waiting wherever it had been left.
  9. Sandy's question caught Aidan off guard. In all the time that he'd spent since joining the ranks of the Imperial Knights, he hadn't done much self reflection or care...except when he ran into her before their mission on Nar Shaddaa. That was probably the thing that kept drawing him back to her instinctively, she allowed him to be himself. Encouraged it, even. No other member of either Force order treated him that way. "I...don't really know. I haven't thought about that much; I guess I've kind of just been going with the flow of things. It feels like I'm doing okay, but it's more like I'm finally figuring out who I am. Who I want to be, and more importantly, who I'm comfortable being. And it's a slow process that's just starting, but any kind of progress is okay, right? So, uh...yeah." There was a long awkward silence as he didn't really know how to follow that up. He'd appreciated her asking, but when it came to small talk Aidan always fell a little short. As he finished his food however, he felt a sort of pressure building up in the back of his mind. A familiar feeling, but not a great one. It was hard for him to even localize it, but it was unmistakable: a sudden surge in the energies of the Dark side, at the perimeter of the Temple grounds near where he was moments ago. If he had felt it, likely others would have too. "I think we should check on Frond sooner rather than later. Like, now." Leaving the rest of his plate, he stood up from the table, waiting for Sandy. "I might have seriously underestimated Frond's problem."
  10. Aidan looked up at the hopefuls Sandy had pointed out, stifling a chuckle. "Uh, not really. Believe it or not, most of my youngling training was conducted by my grandmother and Master Kirlocca. I was never officially part of the Order, my parents were careful to not allow the Order to dictate the future of their child. Which makes sense, the Jedi often take children that show potential simply so they don't learn the wrong way, but they're still taking kids from their parents. Mom was the Grandmaster, at least for a bit, so it was easy to get others who might disagree to back down." Aidan reached out in the Force, gripping at the fork on his plate, trying to poorly get a bite of food to his mouth, eventually managing. As he finished the bite, he continued. "And then I ran away. The next actual training I had was with the Imperial Knights many years later. Most of what I know is more...instinctual? It's certainly not the orthodox methods of either the Jedi or the Knights. Maybe my last name carried weight somewhere it shouldn't. I feel like I've been in a lot of situations I wasn't really prepared for, and I've had to unlearn a lot of adapted habits." He took another bite, this time using the fork in his hand instead of the Force. His gaze returned to the hopeful, still struggling at their task. "Maybe I should have been put through that kind of stuff. I don't know. I'm really starting to understand how I don't know a lot of things I thought I did. It's getting easier though, I think." He paused, reflecting, before a sly grin crept across his face. "You never told me much about your apprenticeship. What was the worst thing they made you do?"
  11. “What is on your mind?" There was a long pause of hesitation as Aidan struggled to get the words out. He was thinking heavily about what had just happened, but frankly he wasn't quite sure what exactly happened. "I don't know. Frond, I guess. I thought he needed a bit of help, and I tried to be there for him like you were there for me. I guess I didn't really do a great job, though." Aidan sighed, trying to clear his thoughts. He really thought he had made a bit of headway reaching out, trying to understand what Frond's problem was, but the vision he shared was fairly clear: he didn't understand. Aidan knew Frond was struggling with the pull of the Dark side, he'd felt it just talking with Frond, but nothing he'd said had helped. And Frond had even tried to give him his saber...a very strange spontaneous act with almost no explanation. Maybe eventually Aidan would understand, but right now he simply didn't, and it gnawed at him. "He tried to give me his lightsaber. I've barely known him...it...what, a few hours? I think he's just going through some rough stuff. I'm kind of worried about him, to be honest, but he seemed pretty set on the idea that I wasn't helping. At least I think that's what he meant...he's a little hard to understand. Maybe you can talk to him later? He seemed to recognize you and Master Vos when we were back on Gala, so I'm guessing you guys have history?" Aidan's eyes wandered, scanning the temple, looking for something, anything to get his mind off this, but it would likely just take time. "I don't know. I just wanted to help, is all. I think I'm going to get a bite to eat if you want to join me. The rations you guys have on the ship don't quite sit right with my stomach, so I'm hoping they have something a bit better here."
  12. Aidan's brow furrowed, and he pulled away. Clearly what Frond had shown him the big tree fully believed in, but it wasn't a vision the Imperial Knight shared. "I'm sorry...I just...don't agree." It saddened Aidan to know that nothing he'd really tried had had any effect on Frond's problems. It also hurt him a bit to think that Frond would rather him feel the tree's hopelessness rather than try something, anything different to drag himself out of his emotional pain. "If you want me to hold onto that, I guess I can. I just don't think such a small action like that will stop what's going on in that head of yours. Of course...I guess what I said didn't either." Aidan stood, looking back to the temple. He could feel Sandy back there where he'd left her, and he suddenly had an urge to spend some time with her. When he first met her she was overbearing and annoying, but it became clearer over time that she actually cared about him in more than just the capacity of a simple crush, and that was refreshing. Right now, he could use that refreshment. Hopefully Frond understood Aidan was fine being there for him in the same capacity, to reinforce and to calm. "Just leave it in my things on the ship if you're serious about getting rid of it. I'll take care of it. I, uh...I need to go for a walk." Giving the tree-thing one final look, Aidan walked back towards the temple. He'd tried, and he hoped that it mattered to whatever cosmic entity that was keeping score of things.
  13. Frankly, Aidan didn't really understand much of what Frond was trying to say. The tree-thing spoke in riddles with a strange vocal pattern. He'd heard stories of some species who had to speak that way even when they knew Basic simply because that was how their brains worked, but witnessing it firsthand was something else. He sat on the log with Frond in confused silence, trying to piece together what he meant. At the end, though, when he brought his hands together, or rather...branch-hand-things, Aidan finally got it. "Balance must be found." "Aaaaaahhh. One of those things. Well, I'm not going to presume I know your problems or what you're going through, but um...I kinda went through something similar lately." Aidan shifted uncomfortably, hesitating before he continued. He hated talking about this, even admitting he'd had issues, but deep down he knew it was okay. It was just a wound that needed time to heal, was all. "I had, well, have...anger issues. Not exactly kosher for an Imperial Knight, or a Jedi. I'm lucky master Kyrie decided to try and work with me instead of excommunicate me from the Order, which would have been her right. But finding balance, even within ourselves, it isn't easy. I think...I think we can fight back the darkness and be righteous in our cause without falling to it. We make mistakes, and we get back up. It's part of life. I had a hard time accepting my own imperfections for a long time, always being held to a standard that didn't fit me, and I internalized a lot of it I think." He sighed, picking up a rock and throwing it at a much larger one a little ways away, trying to fight through the urge to keep his problems to himself. "I mean, we're all here to lean on each other. Not like literally, you'd probably crush me, but I mean help out with what we're feeling and going through. If you bottle that stuff up and make rash decisions it usually just hurts you and those that care about you." Aidan looked back at Frond, taking a moment to look into the big tree's eyes to try and tell if Frond understood him. He put a hand on Frond's saber, and knew a bit better what he meant, the darkness in the saber reaching out to him. Dipping into the Force, Aidan pushed his senses out like he had when he went through the mental exercise with Sandy. In Aidan's exercise, he had pruned a mental tree that represented his own thoughts and mind. Not to kill it, but to trim away the bad branches so that the rest of him would be healthier. "I don't think the darkness in this was just naturally here. I think it's yours. It belongs to you. You can try to deny its existence, forsake it, cut it away from you, but you're still just cutting off your nose to spite your face. Sorry, human expression...uhh...hurting yourself more than helping. But that's okay. It's okay to know yourself, what you're capable of. For me it was a manifestation of something else, a pain I wasn't even aware of. And as I became aware of it, I learned to know myself better, and how to heal that pain. My balance comes from accepting who I am and what I can be, as well as what I can't and must never be. Sure, the dark side tempts me. Anger and rage are easy outlets to deal with it all, and in the wrong settings like this galaxy is so full of it's easy to just give in." He sighed again, pulling his hand back. "But that's not me. I don't think that's you. We can embrace our pain and be defined and consumed by it, or we can fight it, get ourselves to a better place, and help others get there too. We're all in this together, anyways, and it helps to have friends to lean on." Aidan looked up once more into Frond's big eyes, smiling. Whatever happened, he wanted the Neti to know he wasn't alone. "Gods, I hope you understood all that."
  14. "Uhh..." Aidan didn't exactly know what to do, nor what specifically it was that Frond held out to him. He spied some kind of metal poking out one end, and realized it might have been a kind of lightsaber. Aidan didn't really understand how Frond spoke all that easily, but it was clear that the big tree-thing wasn't really in the best of moods. "Look, you don't need to give me that. Not if you don't want to. I'm not quite sure what you're going through right now, but I just figured...well, sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to. You know, to work all this stuff out. It helps. Well...helped me, I guess. Do you understand?" Aidan caught the patronizing look that told him Frond understood him just fine. "So...uh...do you want to talk about it? Maybe sit down on that log over...uhh...is that even okay? That's not like a relative or anything, right? Look, I'm just trying to not be offensive and I've never encountered one of your kind before or anything..." He stopped, grasping for words, realizing he probably looked like an idiot. A while back that would have frustrated him, he wouldn't have tolerated it and he'd loathe himself for it, but right now he just felt silly. Taking a deep breath, he centered himself, continuing. "I'm sorry, let's start over. I'm Aidan. You're Frond. Nice to meet you. What's troubling you, bud?"
  15. Aidan scratched his head at the remark that his father's credentials were needed, almost like it were twisted fate he'd even come along on this mission. What if it were given to someone else? But it wasn't...it was his, just as it was everyone else's in their little band of misfits. "That shouldn't be an issue. I used to, ah...use his login all the time. Hopefully, it still works. I think it worked back on Gala because the systems hadn't been updated in forever, but...you never know." He turned, watching Frond leave the group. Honestly, it was the one person - or rather, being - he was highly curious about. He'd never encountered a Neti before, and the large tree thing had really caught Aidan's attention. Sure, the prophecy of doom and struggle was nice and all, but the Jedi were always on about their doom and struggle. In the here and now, people mattered. He leaned over to Sandy, pointing it out. "Is he going to be okay? I...I think I should go and check on him." He quickly keyed out a message to her with his father's login credentials, before following after wherever Frond had disappeared to. It took a few minutes and a bit of his Force senses, but Aidan finally caught up to Frond outside the Temple grounds. A small tornado of dust and dirt swirled about, and it was painfully clear the Force was tumultuous here, uncertain of itself. For a moment, Aidan stood there, uncertain himself what he should do. His training with the Exorcists told him he needed to extinguish the darkness present. His experiences with the Jedi told him that nothing what he did here would ultimately matter. And then there was his experiences with Sandy in his own self reflection... Aidan instead made a choice that he hadn't made in a long time: he needed to be himself. "You know, you could just ask for help. Trees withstand storms by relying on the ground to hold them in place. You feel like you need a friend who can ground you a bit."
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