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About Genesis

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  1. As we jogged across the grassy plains of my homeworld, I gazed upon it in a different light. No longer did it feel dark and gloomy, nor did it feel oppressive and prisoning. No. Today I gazed upon the first healthy view of its humid sunlight with joy and excitement. As if I had faced my darkened past and come out of it rejuvenated with an entire new outlook upon it. For it was home, and home had always been where my heart truly laid. Where Armiena was uncomfortable and dreaded, I was complacent and found enjoyment. But then again, I grew up on this world, and was accustomed to its weather all year round. I grew up facing its elements with very little protection. But not was all as it seemed, her voice trailing behind her and catching my ears with techniques I did not know. I watched in awe as she quickly sped away and nearly out of sight with only her words echoing in my mind. Pushing myself harder to try and play catch up, my mind wondered on her words. Better? Stronger? Faster? I knew I saw the Force work upon the displaced Citizens I worked on back on Borleias. But how could I apply such a technique on a healthy living person? Closing my eyes, I turned inward into my own body, flowing the rapid beating of my heart, the pumping and flowing of the blood and cells within me, and expanding and falling of my lungs. That was when it hit me. Like my using the Force to heal those on Borleias by hastening their natural healing, I could do something similar with my own form. But I had to be careful, as it was a fine line to walk. I could increase the oxygen flow from to blood and cells to my muscles, increasing their own dexterity, but too much could cause me to faint just as too little would. And hastening my heart to match could leading to even more dangerous scenarios. I could see what she meant, but I had to focus and apply the right amount to each addition, balancing it over all to match perfectly, making sure not to overdo it. And so i attempted to try, slightly altering the flow of my blood to spread up the dispersal of the oxygen to my muscles while simultaneously increasing the intake of the oxygen through my lungs and the rate of my heart ever so slightly so that i wouldnt overload my system and cause my body to exhaust too quickly. And before i knew it, i was doing it, my gaze falling upon her as i began to quickly catch up. Only one problem. Now that i was doing it, how could i stop as i grew closer and closer? My mind briefly flew into a panic as i tried to stop myself, but before i knew it, i had tripped on my own two feet and came rolling past her as i past her now stopped form. Yeah. I would need a little more practice.
  2. I nudged my head in a slight thankful bow as she praised my considerate thought and climbed upon my feet as she rose off me, dusting the wet grass from the general area I could reach, and with a quick thought, reach my hand and my mind out with the Force, urging my saber back to me, careful not to beacon the ignition switch in the process. Until it became second nature, I would have to be careful with it, and that could very well take awhile given my previous stance upon wielding one in the first place. As I clipped it upon my belt, I gazed upon her own as she showed it. At first glance as she ignited one blade after the other, I pondered the aspects of her wielding a double bladed lightsaber, as in truth, it seemed to fit her. But as the expulsion of gas and blade tethered to liquid cable snapped my attention and nearly stopped my heart, I found myself quite mesmerized by her ingenuity. There was nothing like it in the archives I had studied nor was it listed in what I had downloaded onto my datapad for ideas and study. I had heard tales of her prowess with both combat and machines alike, most notably her inventiveness with the wolfspiders used in previous wars. But this, seeing it in action, removed any doubt I may have previously held. But as she spoke, I returned to reality and my mind grew briefly dim. War. It wasn't a term I had came to terms with yet. At least not fully. I saw first hand what it wrought to Coruscant, the devastation, the chaos, and in truth, it was what pushed me to fully commit to my choice of following the Jedi's path. But I had only seen it, not experienced it like she had. And part of me doubted that I would ever know the experience with it that she truly understood. Especially with the real world of my writer being plagued by a pandemic known as COVID-19 that was running rampant like wildfire across his globe. If only he could escape it into our world, perhaps he could avoid his own reality. But that wasn't possible. With a nod as Armiena took off, I quickly followed in suit. It was time for my training to become rigorous, this i knew. So i kept pace, letting my lungs expand to match, pacing myself. But after a few minutes, the brisk walk turned into a jog, my pacing hastening behind her. I could not tell where she was leading me, but i had come to trust her. Where she led me, i would surely follow.
  3. A sense of pride began to swell within me as praise from Master Armiena reached the lobes of my ears and resounded throughout the encased drums of my middle ear. Especially at her amazement with the Ultrachrome hilt, though truth be told, I had taken it from the ship's forward cockpit looming above. But lost in all that pride and praise, I failed to mention one thing, and it was due to that, that what happened next could have been avoided. I felt the weight of her form connect with mine before my attention drew to what was happening, her pause in her speech and throwing of my blade causing my gaze to follow with confusion and a blank train of thought that followed. Before my mind even had a chance to draw anything together, she was atop me, squeezing me with her own form and my head aching from its brief but firm connection with the earthen soil beneath us. In the moments that followed as my mind began to rather its thoughts both from the confusion and the brief blow, I noticed that though her form was frail in outer appearence, it was muscular and strong. And despite that neither of us had hit the refresher in quite some time now, her sweaty scent held an almost flowery essence in its trail. After a few more moments passed, I felt her form ease and she rose to looked at my blade, my gaze looking at her differently than I had before. Yes, I was a boy. But it wasn't that. Even as her questioned slipped out her lips, I realized how long it had been since I felt another's embrace, let alone one from a female. And in truth, it felt warm and comfortable, and in that brief second, part of me wanted it to continue, if only to remember the similar embrace of my mother's, the embrace of one who chose to protect their child with everything they were. And in that moment, a tear streamed down unnoticed until I felt it begin to roll down my cheek. Rising from the ground, I wiped it away and gazed in the direction of my blade. With a chuckle and a smirk, I spoke. "I installed a internal switch to prevent just anyone being able to activate it. It just felt right that a weapon of such power should have one, even if it was meant to protect lives by taking them."
  4. The breeze was blowing gently across the plains, myself taking in the serenity that home seemed to present its self as this time around, even going as far as enjoying the moonlight as it shown the landscape. But Armiena's words confused me, this growing more frequently as of late. I could see the shimmer of her smile in between the pulsating flickers of illuminated crimson, the hair upon the back of my neck wanting to stand up as I did. But I pushed it from my mind, and as she approached, handed over my saber. Like my writer had previously described, the saber was of the curved hilt variant, the casing forged from ultrachrome and held a leathered grip at the forefront that seamlessly fell beneath the casing. Inside held an internal switch that required the use of the Force to activate, and the crystal itself had been shaped into a orb that nearly mimicked Dantooine from space with the remaining shards used to align and focus the power input, and had insulated the entire innards to protect from electrical interference. But even as flawless as it was, it didn't seem to want to activate unless my will and it's own became one in my defense. Such is the imagination of my writer I suppose. "Forgive the time it took to forge it." I sincerely spoke in regret, the overall process taking nearly six days and once I recovered from my exhaustion, a current endeavor still in process, I hadn't been able to present it until now. "What do you think Master Armiena?"
  5. The realm of dreams was a tricky place to tread, especially for a Jedi Padawan like myself, a place where visions could plague the mind and become contorted and twisted, where dreams could feel like reality, and a place where serenity could become a nightmare. Like myself and my homeworld, me and the crystal which now resided in my lightsaber were not just connected, but conflicted as well, one side trying to overcome the will of the other, trying to find a balance of harmony as one. And even though I had found a semblance of it with the blade, the harmony had not completely taken. Dreams of my past were usually hauntings in my sleep, memories of days past swirling in and out of my subconsciousness at times, causing me to constantly second guess myself. And I suppose, for someone like myself with the past that i had lived, it was an rare but normal occurrence. But the dream i had this day was unlike any I had ever had before. A figure stood before me, draped in a blackened robe, rain pouring off him like rivers of constant tears, his red hair shifting in the hollowed wind. His gaze shifted toward me, his white glazed eyes looking back at me with sadness in his heart as his turquoise saber sprang to life, illuminating his face. I gasped, realizing the visage that I gazed upon was that of my own, a darkness in my heart and eyes that weren't eyes at all, but were bled crystals, void of life and connection, cut off from the very Force that once weilded them. I could see his, or rather, my mouth move. Yet no words came out or I could not hear them. I reached my hand out to him, trying to grasp at the fallen soul I saw before me, weeping in sorrow. But the farther I reached, the farther he, or I, became, until he blinked from existence completely and i stood alone. Reaching up to wipe my tears, I noticed the color red upon my hands, and in a panicked haste, realized that I was covered in blood from head to toe. I screamed, calling my own name, but neither words nor sound escaped my own voice. And then blackness covered my sight, and I gazed once again on the figure, this time, seeing him just as I was, covered in blood that darkened the robes ever more. And once again, I gazed at his illuminated eyes, seeing the sorrow within. And I woke, the feeling of being pulled from the dream by another presence, almost as if a hand had grabbed my psyche and dragged me from murky waters. And there, upon the grassy plains before me at the bottom of the ship's boarding ramp stood Master Armiena. Seeing her standing there, I smiled, pushing the dream back into my subconsciousness, and stood. "Forgive me Master. It's been an eventful week and it got to me."
  6. Walking up the ramp, I grabbed hold of the loading rail and let my exhausted form slid down onto the durasteel flooring as I rested, my gaze shifting out across Dantooine's savannah. There was almost a serene feeling flowing across me as I watched the first of it's sun rise above the distant plateaus as I caught my breath. It had been a long night, and despite still capable of mustering the energy to eat the last of my meager rations, I felt drained and tired. I could hear that Master Armiena had returned, but felt compelled to leave her to her tasks as I sat in silence, the memories of the night before and what led up to it still fresh in my mind. I had ran away from this world, determined to escape its grasp. And yet, here I was, a Jedi Padawan who walked it's grasslands once again and justly confronted the very thing that drove me away. I chuckled silently at the irony as I sat there, lost in those thought. Before I knew it, my mind had given way to my exhaustion, and when Armiena would come to investigate the loud growling sounds, she would find me fast asleep, the growling sounds being my exhausted snoring.
  7. Unconsciousness, it was a lingering feeling as I laid there trying to pull myself from upon the floor. It was a state in which I flowed to and from as hunger and sleep deprivation took its hold, the times I could awaken to see blurred by. And so, occassionally, all I could do was give in, letting the moments of darkness take me and fly by until i could manage to open my eyes again, attempting to fight to regain my reality. Day break finally pierced the veiled gaze i managed to look through as the Force began to slowly return through my moments of sleep, my lips coarse and my throat dry as my voice once again called for her by name. But Armiena was far, and I too weak to reach her or find her through the Force. So I managed to crawl myself from the room I was in. It felt like hours had passed before I finally made it to my gear, reaching in and pulling forth a few nutrition bars from it and nearly choking as i scarfed them down in large bites, using the water i had to wash it down before i regurgitated it all back up due to the haste of my hunger. But grabbing another, I slowly began to eat my fill. Before I knew it, another day had passed. I felt my strength returning well enough that I managed to make it to the cockpit in order to see if i could locate Master Armiena, but I instead found her note. I chuckled as I sat there reading it. Typical of her, but I felt the pain this planet held for her, so it was understandable. Dantooine held a similar pain for myself, and i soon found myself outside the ship as well looking in the very direction to where it laid. I supposed to myself that since I was here, and had a little time, it warranted a visit if only to see the old homestead. I needed to find closure in my old life if I was to truly move into my new one. And so with a bag packed, and my addition to the note that @ObliviousKnight had left that simple spoke 'Going Home for a quick Visit', I departed. The Stormhelm homestead wasn't but half a days walk through the tundra of Dantooine, past the ancient Jedi Enclave and past the old Caves where my whole journey had began, and sat not too far from the old outpost where DSF had stationed themselves many years ago outside the Ruins of the Builders. When it came into view, it was almost nostalgic. The scents, the feel of the breeze rushing through the nearby crevasse that tunneled it across the plains, even the squeaking of the old swing, all brought back painful but memorable memories that brought both tears from my eye and a smile to my face. And as I sat my bag down on the rotted timber of the front steps and sat down, I stared out into those memories as time began to fly by. Sitting there, I pulled the saber from my hip, my mind pondering if my mother and father were there with me, wondering if there was a sense of pride within their spirits, at the man I had become. And a part of me knew that it was true. Rising, I got up and walked inside, carefully treading as the old boards creaked with the pressure of my weight, my gaze shifting around as I strolled down memory lane. The sight and smell of my mother's cooking. The laughter of my father as he came in from work and kissed the love of his life like he hadn't seen her in months. It was almost picturesque, and memories I had not remembered in so long that they felt not of my own. And then I turned toward my old room, dark and closed off. Opening its door, I could barely see where I once laid my head, taking my saber in hand and activating it. But it did not ignite, a confused look crossing my face. Did I not assemble it correctly? It didn't explode, so that was a good sign. Shaking my head, I flipped the switch back off and clipped it to my hip, figuring I would have Armiena inspect it upon my return and instead ignited a flare. My bedroom was just as I had left it that morning, toys still strolled about on the dusted sheets. Over on my desk were parts that could only be described as trinkets from the spaceport I called home after their deaths. And on the shelves were books, mostly children books about Jedi and Republic war heroes, even a few science fiction ones about Galaxies not of my own, one noted as Terra Nova, a planet once called Earth that my writer decided to throw in to relate with me. Closing the door as I departed, I noticed that the sun had began to set, so I settled in for the night, taking the couch where mother used to bounce me on her knee when she wanted quality time with me. Taking a bar out of my bag, I ate at it, making sure to finish regaining my strength that had been waning since the construction of my lightsaber. And after a few swallows of water, I tossed the flare out the window and let the setting sun grow dark as did my own world. Memories would take hold and plague my dreams that night, horrifying and dark. It was the memory of that day, the memory that I had been fighting since I chose to walk the path of the Jedi. It always started out the same, my father's smile, my mother's laugh, my mischief and their enjoyment of it despite the harsh repercussions that I usually brought upon myself at the hands of my mother's switches. But for some reason, that day, she did not scold or discipline me, rather smiling and laughing instead with a bittersweet enjoyment of the day. But then came the blood, the death, the darkness of it all as the Krath Hounds slew and tore them apart, my mother's sacrifice that saved me and my ending the lives of the Krath's and their pup. "Genesis..." I heard my mother cry as those moments flashed over and over in my mind, my form tossing and turning in a cold sweat upon that familiar couch. "Genesis.... run. Get out of here!" These were the last of her words I remember from that day as I grabbed father's blade, but this time, it resounded too realistically and I jumped awake with deep gasps from my slumber. I looked outside into the star filled sky, throwing my legs over onto the floor and wiping the sweat from my face as I buried it into my hands. The flare had long gone out, and the house was as dark as the emptiness of space. So I stood up and walked to the door, stopping short of its frame as I heard a rumbling growl just outside. It was a growl I was all too familiar with, and my heart raced with the reality of it just as it did that day. Kath Hounds. Grabbing my bag, I searched desperately for a weapon of any kind, something to defend myself. But I had left all that behind and only brought my lightsaber. I cursed silently under my breath, placing the bag over my shoulders as I tried to locate the hound. I could use the Force to defend myself, but at this time of year and given the solace of my location, it was a pack of them and they were hungry. Not even a blaster would deter them against one singular being of prey. My only choice would be to run, and I would have to run fast to escape the likelyhood of at least three. And as silent as it was, I could hear two of them on the porch, which meant I couldn't get an accurate number. Whatever plan I was going to come up, I would have to come up with it fast. I knew they could smell me, but a simple creak of the wood beneath my feet would give away my position. And sure enough, as i leaned back to try and get a view out the window, it did. Before i knew it, one of the two came crashing through the window, causing me to rush out the door and into view of the other. So I ran. I ran as fast as I could as the two bulls began their pursuit. Opening my mind and body to the flow of the force, my form became as light as a feather, crossing the plains in a haste I had never charged before. But with the sounds of snapping branches and horrific growls behind me, I did not choose to look back nor slow down, the fear and panic within me echoing of that day so many years ago. One managed to keep up, the other only lagged by the beast in front of him, and i could feel its intent to pounce just as it did, causing me to zag to the right and out of instinct, I shoved the beast aside with a luckily well placed push of the Force. But it caused me to slow and the second beast closed the gap. Picking up speed, I darted toward the crevasse ahead of me, hoping that I could make it and bottleneck myself in instead of dealing with the two beasts on both sides, possibly causing them to collide and loose enough ground for my escape. But I hadn't learnt my lesson years ago, Kath Hounds albeit beasts, were abnormally intelligent and the third waited for me there. This was why they stood as some of the best hunters this side of the Galaxy and now I was pinned. I stood there, encircled, the fear of death gripping as my heart, as they playfully circled me. But I had already chosen that I would fight even if I died this day, just as my parents did so long ago, and as they each took turns charging at me, only to be brushed away by my touch of the Force, I finally understood why my parents fought and died that day. It wasn't just ensure my survival like I had always believed. But it was to feed the hungry by offering themselves up as sacrifices so that their bellies would be full by the time it came my turn. They wanted me to live, wanted me to become the man that I had become. It was in that moment, standing off against the darkness of nature, that I understood the life they saw for me. And it was in that understanding that my views began to shift. For so long I felt that my living was a mistake, my life no more important than the next. Even the pup I had slaughtered that day in anger. But now I knew, just as Master Armiena had said, that we fight until our fight is done and only then can we truly rest. And in that moment, I felt the presence of my mother and father upon the passing wind, the scent of them flowing within, and as the three attacked in an almost unison pattern for the final kill, I grabbed my saber, pulling the force within me and unleashing it in all directions as the turquoise blade sprung to life. Guilt free and realizing that my fight had just begun, I attacked. Charging up the backside of the closest Kath, I spun myself, feeling the curved hilt of my blade shift within my palm as it struck the hide of the beast before i landed head on with it, my gaze revealing my intent to fight until i could fight no more. In that moment, I saw its hesitation just as one of the other's charged from behind me, my form twirling and twisting as I ran the tip of my blade across it's back, blood spewing across my form in its passing. And lastly, I turned toward the third, running up it's face and striking its horn as I cleaved it in two. And as I turned, all three took off and left me beaten and bruised, a couple of ribs cracked and my robes torn where one managed to slice open my arm. Deactivating my blade, I fell to one knee, aching in pain, watching as the sun began to rise. After applying what little healing I could muster, and bandaging the rest, I would arrive a day later after Armiena's own return, covered in blood from the battle the night before, wounded, and tired. But in my hand i held the Kath's horn. And on my hip, my saber, humming upon the flow of the Force with my newfound resolve. I may not have to kill, but a Jedi is forged to fight against whatever odds they may face. That is the path of the Jedi. That was the path i was meant to walk. I, Jedi.
  8. Me and another member were talking earlier, and although Discord is quick and simple to use for personal storylines and encounters, it can take away from the OOC activity that the site needs at first glance for newer members. So it gave me the idea to put a thread for personal plots and narratives as well as factional plots and narratives to be discussed and planned on the site rather than in Discord, and if need be, a sectional list be placed here in my own post for quick links for such narrative designs.
  9. I nodded my head in agreement, taking my place next to her at the work station as I laid the parts out before me as they fell from their hold with both my crossed arms, falling upon it with clanks and sounds of metal scratching against metal as they spread out. Next to me, I laid the datapad with design sprawled across its screen, a nervous pit in my stomach as I realized that I had never really put anything together, having always did stripping and separating as a scavenger and what little skill I did possess in making anything was no more than primitive means. But if I was going to do this, I was going to make sure I did this right. And so I began, first by separating the parts from the wiring and components, placing the sleeve and casing aside for last. And so my work began, carefully zooming in along each section to inspect how each fit together, where each part connected to the next, and where possible modifications would need to be made. Hours would pass as I made mental notes here and there, scrolling from one page to the next, searching for the design I had embedded into my mind until a full picture began to unfold in my head and I slowly began to grab parts and components and began to put them together, the fumes of soldering wires and the sounds of frustration filled the air. Then next came the framing, using the fuselage I grabbed earlier to fit the pieces in place as I meticulously followed the design I envisioned. From placing the emitter and lenses at the forefront to the power cell containment at the rear, it began to strangely form the inner workings of a semitrically curved hilt. But I still didn't seem to feel right to what I envisioned, so I set it aside and took out the Pontite crystal that I had carried for so long, its swirling color mesmerizing my gaze as it pulsed with life. They say Kyber Crystals are living crystals, born of the Force and intune with those it chooses as its weilder. And the Pontite variant is even rarer, able to enhance its weilder's affinity in the Force its self. But whether or not that this was true, I could not say. All I knew was when I looked at it, I felt the presence of home within it, like the plains of Dantooine lived within it, its color reminiscent of the its turquoise glow from space. And as I looked deeper into it, I could feel the Force flowing from me into it as if it was a part of me, my memories of my childhood, my adolescence, and even my time of under Master Armiena flowing through my mind and through it. It was a strange feeling to behold, but it brought me a sense of clarity as I stared at it. And in that moment, I decided to shift my design slightly. Grabbing the tools needed, I began to carve away at crystal. More hours would pass and before I even realized the time that had already passed, I was alone in the moment that took me. Like Dantooine its self, and the life that had forged me and came full circle upon the very planet that I tried to run from, I slowly carved the crystal from it's natural state into one of crystal clarity, a jewel of Dantooine, a orb of life, and finally into a gem that glowed like the planet its self: a perfectly circular crystal to fit into its proper place within the hilt. And when it grew time to place it in its proper place, I had yet to realize that I had been at it already for three days, lost within the moment of forging the weapon it ached to be. Now would come the moment of truth, all parts properly aligned as much as physical touch could perfect, and the test of a Jedi came to call my skill. Opening myself to the Force, I opened myself to its call. The casing, the sleeve, the frame, and the crystal all began to encircle my form as I pressed the etched vision in my mind to bring it to life. First the frame hovered before me, the imperfected alignments shifting to perfection, then the crystal taking its place at its heart near the ignition switch cut from a sliver of the crystal that would lay beneath its sleeve and casing, activating only upon the call of the Force and not by the hands of outsiders. And then the insulated sleeve wrapped its self around the frame, ensuring that even lightning could not harm its contents, a lesson that I had learned upon Coruscant. And finally, it shifted into the casing, the lever I had taken from the cockpit made of Ultracrome with the sliver of leather replacing the former metallic grip that once adorned it removed with the leather providing the forward grip for such a hilt. Sleek and sophisticated, I felt the hilt fall softly into my hand as the final piece fell into place, a circular clip at its bottom, adorned with smaller crystal orbs salvaged from the very crystal at its heart. It was finished. Shifting my eyes around for Armiena, I did not realize the toll the whole experience had taken upon me nor my form as the shifting of my eyes caused my head to grow light and my stomach to feel queasy from hunger, still unaware that a total of five days had past since I began. As I laid back and gave into my weakened state, all I could do was tell for her, unsure whether she was near or far. "Master"
  10. I smiled half heartedly as Master Armiena finally acknowledged my choice, but I could still tell that she wanted more from me, more for me really. But I was young and naive, and wanted life to define me. Perhaps not the wisest choice, but still better than most. So as she left, I contemplated on her previous words.... words about her previous Padawan and how she spoke of him in a past tense, making me wonder of his own fate and what he was like. Like she said, most of the parts that the data listed were easily found. The descriptions made them vividly recognizable. But the hardest part was the frame and angle I was looking for, as well as the sleeve, just among a few other parts. And after nearly an hour of trying to force pieces together and makeshift a few items I felt would work, I frustratedly tossed aside yet another failed attempt. I sighed briefly, sitting back from my perched position over the pile of scrap onto the floor and bit my thumbnail as I thought about her last words and what she was going to focus on. Master Armiena obviously had more experience than I did at forging a lightsaber than myself, especially considering I had only recently considered forging one in the first place. And that's when I remembered her words about the Force guiding me, causing the lightbulb above my head to vibrantly shine. So I sat there, opening my mind to the Force with the vision I held of my saber in my mind and saw its pieces strewn about. I felt the design I wanted and wondered how to properly fit to together, from the emitter and focusing lens down to the curved hilt and cylindrical casing being as smooth as the ice of Ilum, with the leather of its forward grip sitting seamlessly beneath its casing. And that's when it hit me. The parts were there, and I could see everything as if I knew the ship inside and out. Just behind the paneling Armiena had been stripping held a wire fuselage frame that would fit the angling perfectly. And back in the cockpit, sat a lever with the same angle that the frame would fit perfectly in made from Ultrachrome. And down the hall in the common area sat leathered seat that could easily provide the grip where the lever once had one. Everything, though strewn about, was there, just as she had said. Running about, the constant clanking of my hurried feet from one side to the other, up and back down, could be heard as I went about collecting the parts. And once that was done, I quickly found Armiena, the panting of my breath recognizable by my previous rushings with all in my hand. Yet I spoke not a word as I stood there, gazing at her lost in her moment, and waited for confirmation.
  11. I sat in subtle silence long after Master Armiena departed, the remnants of her reaction playing over and over in my head. Her words, the clenched jaw, the emotionless tone, the guarded mentality, even if she did not present it or speak it, I knew for certain that I had accidentally touched a nerve. And because of that, I felt guilt knotting up in my shoulders and plaguing my mind. I had never been one very good at properly expressing myself. So I left her to her devices, at least, for the moment being, unsure to where she had went off to. Perhaps she simply needed a breather. Or perhaps she simply needed a moment away from me. I wasnt quite sure, but I left it as is, still sitting within the cockpit with worry in my eyes. I wondered if I had crossed a line. I worried with whether or not she would still wish to be my Master. I even worried whether or not I deserved to be her student. But what plagued me more than the worry were the words she spoke before she even left the room. She was a Jedi, a former Grandmaster of the Order. How could she not be a Jedi anymore? Had conflict caused her soul to become so weary, so exhausted? My thoughts were abruptly pushed aside as the large sounds of impacts above, startling me to reality as my gaze shifted upward to them. And then the growing familiar hiss and humm of an activating lightsaber before it began striking something aboard caused my to react and I quickly went after her. Following the sounds of her strikes amidst the crimson glow of emergency lighting, I passed the common areas of the upper deck and ran straight toward the seized portal now vibrantly glowing with the molten metal where the saber had struck. And within, Armiena knelt, tossing wires and circuit boards, metal plates, and anything that her hand gripped behind her like garbage. "Master?..." I spoke, extending my hand before quickly drawing it back, unsure of how to approach the situation, before I simply extended my hand completely and gripped her shoulder. "I am sorry if my words hurt you. I know you're not like other Jedi, and I know you mean well. But you are a Jedi nonetheless." I spoke carefully, letting my heart guide my words as the room settled to the same subtle silence I sat in below. "I just ask that you allow me to be the Jedi that I am destined to be, just as your life guided you to be the one that you are."
  12. As her words came across my hearing, they stung at my heart. Partially because she questioned me, but also partially because, in truth, I held no true answer. When I came to the Jedi, it was join or prison for me. So I joined under Master Armiena, taking the position of her Apprentice and never looking back. It was the truth of my childhood. Ever since I lost my parents all those years ago, it's how I had reacted to life. I acted first without thought, and never questioned the reasoning or the why, steadily moving forward so I didnt have to look back at my past. My gaze still staring at her, I realized that it was time to question everything I had done and become. Was it truly just to survive? Was it truly just to make my way in life? Was it truly the only option? Was it truly to redeem myself? Did I truly wish to be a Jedi? I asked myself these questions over and over as I hung my head in thought. I survived, yes, but at the expense of others. I made my way in life, but as a thief and vagrant. I chose this option, but only to remain free. I am redeemed, but at the expense of my freedom. I do want to be a Jedi, but I dont know what it means to be Jedi. These were the answers I found hidden within in me. And as I discovered them, it only pained me more. I gazed back at Armiena, the confusion in my eye glazing it over with tears as I looked at her for guidence. But what I saw in her own was a feeling similar to my own. I hadn't noticed it much before, but the signs were there all along. She held the eyes of a soldier, marching into battle without thought of consequence, distancing herself from those within the Order as well as her family, and constantly put herself in harm's way with little care for herself or those that treasured her with little regard for Order. She was no more a Jedi than I. "Master..." I started to question, an understanding begin to form in my mind and echoing its presence in my own gaze. "Are you asking for me? Or for yourself?" As I let the question linger in the air, I turned back to my own thoughts. Ever since I joined her as her Padawan, my life had been one rollercoaster ride after the other. But I enjoyed it. It completed me in ways that I had never felt before. The help I had aided with, the lives I had saved, it brought joy I had never felt before. But despite not truly understanding what a Jedi truly stood for, I knew deep down that this was the life for me whether it was originally one of choice or not. Not out of personal gain, nor for the fame and glory. No. I wanted this life because of what I was able to do. Like aiding those on Borleias, Coruscant, and whatever planet the war would lead to next. If I could bring a smile to someone's face or protect another from ending an orphan like myself, then it was worth it. It wasnt the duties of a Jedi that made me want to become one. It was that I was now choosing to be one so that i could perform those duties. So the answer to her question was simply. I wanted to become a Jedi to be a Jedi.
  13. Primary Account: Genesis Discord Username: ScorpioArmegedon#3930 Real First Name: Chad M. Active Characters: Mjan Sadow iv-Adas, Genesis Stormhelm, Mythos Von Howlster, Mi'lan Ziza, Shiro Seven, R3-M0, Kari Koi
  14. I was taken aback by Master Armiena's disbelief, her tone shallow and blunt. If she had not known me as well as she did, it wouldn't have stung as deeply as it did. But as her words resounded within my mind, a sense of pain and betrayal withered its self into my heart. After all, when I spoke, I spoke from my very core, the essence of my being. And in a single line of words portrayed by an indifference expression, had drove a figurative dagger into it. All I could do was look back at her in shock and disbelief of my own. This was a life I had chose, even if it had been forced upon me in the beginning in a manner of speaking. Ours paths did not cross in mere coincidence. And as such, I would face whatever hardships came my way like I had my entire life. I carried many scars across my spiritual form, some that would drive most to the brink of darkness, and despite having crossed that line briefly, here I stood before ready to stand against it with everything that I was. But her words, as much as they were meant to make me see the picture she saw, felt more like a spat to the face than anything. And I could not grasp why she would do such a thing. I hung my head briefly, unable to look at her as I sorted through reasons for the why, unable to grasp at the knowledge from the shock. My chest felt hollow as my hand reached up to it and tugged at my shirt, an emptiness aching within that I haven't felt in many years. And in that brief moment, that moment of hurt, sorrow filled anger flushed forth in my words. "Why? ... How could you?... Do you think?... My words were scrambled, incoherent. My thoughts were jumbled, coming across as blank slates. So I took a deep breath, focusing my mind and taking a second to get past the initial shock before my gaze turned my singular eye toward her, my composure returning as evident upon my face. And for the following moments, all I could do was stare at her, studying her face and body language. Was she testing me? Did she take me for a fool? Such questions crossed my mind as i sat there in silence, attempting to even comprehend her bluntness. I knew in my heart what life i faced, and what it could lead to if i wasn't strong enough. But not everyone is the same and life had a way of designing sentients for the challenges they were fated to encounter. So does she just not trust me? "Then you are as foolish as you believe me to be." I said when I finally spoke, the tension around me so thick a lightsaber blade could barely slice through it. "I may be a child, but I am not innocent to the world around me. I was at Coruscant with you. I saw what it brought to Borleias and Nar Shadaa. You may think my stance to be young and naive, and perhaps it is. But to me, right now in this moment, it's as true to me as you are. I want to be, no, I am a Jedi. And I will follow my duties into the darkest abyss if I am called to do so. It's as simple as that, believe it or not."
  15. Why am I doing this? It was a question I had often asked my own self, even beyond this moment. I did not relish the moment of betraying my beliefs of building a weapon, let alone, use it. I attempted to justify it behind tradition, which partially felt right. But the truth of the matter laid deep with my own psyche as well as my own heart. And as I found out, it held no simple answer. As Armiena question me this day, I realized how much I had betrayed my own beliefs. But in the same aspect, I had grown to understand the singular truth. As a Jedi, I was expected to uphold the integrity of the Order as a whole, not simply my own. I was not required to weild it, but I was expected forge it in my trials as a Jedi to show my resolve, that if it came to it, then I would defend the freedom of all life even if it meant my own. This was a risk I had now found myself to trust and believe in, even if deep down, i held a notion to disobey. If i, as a Jedi, wasnt willing to walk the extra mile, then how could i set an example for others to follow. This was my reason for choosing to take up arms, to be willing to take a life as much as i was willing to give up my own. If I was to be a Jedi, I needed to present myself as one not just before the Order its self, but to any that saw me as one. That was the simple truth of my reality. It was something I needed to come to terms with. As I gazed across the savanna, the realization fresh upon my mind, I thought back to the day I took a life out of anger for the death of my parents, a spot not too far from where we had made land fall. I was but a boy, and misguided by my emotions as much as my pain. But now that I had matured and grown not only as a person, but as a Padawan, I realized the truth of the moment, a moment brought to clarity by Armiena. It was simply a natural reaction, nothing more, nothing less, and for it and though I was to carry such a burden, the innocence of the moment was corrupted. I sighed, my gaze shifting to meet her own. "Why am I doing this? Not just for own redemption, but the redemption of those who came before me, those whom faced my life and could not overcome it alone. I do it for them, with hopes that one day they will not have to. If I am to be a Jedi, I must accept my duty and responsibility, even if I disagree with it, because i must lead them by example, not just focus on my own transgressions."
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